| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Hello? what? | 喂 什么 |
| [00:10] | I can’t understand you. | 我听不懂你在说什么 |
| [00:12] | Who is it? | 是谁? |
| [00:13] | I don’t know. some woman crying. | 我不知道 有个女的在哭 |
| [00:16] | Hold on. Charlie? | 等会儿 查理? |
| [00:19] | -what? -phone for you. | -什么 -你的电话 |
| [00:22] | -who is it? -a hysterical woman. | -是谁呀 -一个歇斯底里的女人 |
| [00:26] | Are you insane? I don’t take calls from hysterical women. | 你疯啦 我从来不接这样的女人的电话 |
| [00:30] | Here he is. | 他来了 |
| [00:33] | You are very insensitive. | 你真是迟钝得要死 |
| [00:37] | Hello? oh, hey. how are you? | 喂 喔 你最近怎样啊 |
| [00:40] | She’s crying. duh. | 她在哭 |
| [00:43] | Okay, calm down. I can’t understand you. | 好 冷静些 我听不懂 |
| [00:48] | Omelet? what is “omelet”? | 奇乐 什么是奇乐 |
| [00:52] | Oh, I’m late. | 噢 是迟了 |
| [00:56] | What are you late for, hon? | 什么东西迟了? |
| [01:00] | -get him out of here. -Jake, go watch tv. | -带他出去 -杰克 看电视去 |
| [01:03] | What’s the big deal? I don’t cry when I’m late. | 有什么大不了的 我迟到了可不会哭 |
| [01:10] | Okay, are you sure? don’t yell. | 你确定 别只顾嚷嚷 |
| [01:13] | How did this… scratch that. | 这怎么会…算了别提那了 |
| [01:17] | Okay. just stay calm, I’m here for you. | 好 保持冷静 我会陪着你的 |
| [01:20] | We’ll deal with this together. | 我们会一块解决这个问题 |
| [01:23] | You didn’t happen to catch her name, did you? | 你听见她的名字了吗? |
| [01:34] | Okay, the instructions sound pretty clear. | 行 说明书写得清清楚楚 |
| [01:37] | You pee on the stick, | 用验孕棒蘸一下你的尿液 |
| [01:40] | And if it turns blue it means you’re pregnant. | 如果变蓝了 就说明你有了 |
| [01:44] | The stick turns blue. | 是棒子变蓝 |
| [01:50] | Yes, sweetheart, first go into the bathroom. | 对 亲爱的 得先去洗手间 |
| [01:54] | Not exactly a rocket scientist. | 不算是什么火箭专家 |
| [01:56] | As opposed to the nobel prize winners you usually bring home. | 和你通常带回来的那些诺贝尔奖得主们可不一样 |
| [02:01] | I’m still here. go ahead, let her rip. | 我还在 去吧 开始尿吧 |
| [02:07] | What do you mean you can’t? | 你说不能 是什么意思 |
| [02:11] | Hold on. | 等会儿 |
| [02:18] | How’s that? | 怎么样了 |
| [02:22] | Yeah, I’m a genius. now we wait 30 seconds. | 是啊 我是个天才 现在得等30秒 |
| [02:27] | Please, god. please, god, please. | 上帝保佑 上帝保佑 |
| [02:29] | Isn’t it a little late for prayer, Charlie? | 现在才祈祷是不是太晚了 查理 |
| [02:32] | Hey, don’t mock my faith. | 喂 别拿我的信仰开玩笑 |
| [02:35] | Yeah, I’m here. did it change colors? | 我在 有变色吗 |
| [02:39] | No? that’s good, right? | 没有 那很好 不是吗 |
| [02:43] | Sure, in a strange way I’m a little disappointed, too. | 当然 可我不知怎么地也有点失望 |
| [02:48] | Hold on a sec. yes! | 稍等会儿 太棒了 |
| [02:59] | So, what else is new? | 还有什么吗? |
| [03:01] | Hey, congratulations. when’s the wedding? | 哇 恭喜你啊 什么时候喝喜酒 |
| [03:07] | Isn’t that nice? | 这不是很好吗 |
| [03:08] | Best of luck. bye-bye. | 祝你好运 再见 |
| [03:13] | Boy, don’t you just hate when that happens? | 兄弟 刚才发生的你不觉得很讨厌吗 |
| [03:16] | Wait, so this is a common occurrence? don’t you take precautions? | 打住 这算是正常事件吗 你难道就不会防着点 |
| [03:20] | Of course. | 当然有 |
| [03:21] | But, come on, | 但是 拜托 |
| [03:22] | you’ve never found yourself in a slow elevator without a condom? | 难道你就没有进了一部慢电梯 却发现没带套吗 |
| [03:27] | Look who I’m asking. | 瞧 我在问谁啊 |
| [03:33] | Okay, so we need soap, | 我们还要买肥皂 |
| [03:34] | Razor blades, cotton balls. | 剃须刀 棉球 |
| [03:37] | -cotton balls, that reminds me. -reminds you of what? | -棉球 我想起来 -你想起了什么 |
| [03:41] | Ribbed, for her pleasure. | 褶皱型 她喜欢用 |
| [03:44] | Ultra thin, for mine. | 超薄型 我喜欢用 |
| [03:47] | Fiesta colors for, I suppose, fiestas. | 节日色的 呃 过节用 |
| [03:51] | And extra-strength, double latex, for coyote tuesdays. | 高强度型 加倍润滑型 和星期二母狼用 |
| [03:59] | Boy, if women knew the trouble we go to. | 兄弟 如果女人们知道我们的麻烦就好了 |
| [04:01] | Why don’t you just get snipped? | 你干脆咔嚓一下算了 |
| [04:03] | -you mean a vasectomy? -yeah. | -你是说输精管切除? -对 |
| [04:05] | Then say “vasectomy.” don’t say “snipped.” | 说输精管切除就是了 什么咔嚓咔嚓 |
| [04:08] | -what’s wrong with “snipped”? -it’s demeaning. | -咔嚓有什么不好的 -表意不清 |
| [04:10] | Snipped is what you get for $12 at supercuts. | 咔嚓是在”超剪”花12块剪个头 |
| [04:14] | Fine. why don’t you get a vasectomy? | 行行行 你为什么不把输精管切了 |
| [04:16] | I’ve considered it. | 我有考虑过啊 |
| [04:18] | In fact, a couple of years ago I believe there was a petition circulating. | 事实上 几年前我有填过申请表 |
| [04:22] | So, what’s holding you back? | 那为什么没呢 |
| [04:24] | I don’t know, it’s kind of a permanent move. | 我不知道 这可是回不了头的 |
| [04:27] | What happens if one day I finally meet the right woman | 万一哪天我找着了真命天女 |
| [04:29] | And decide I want to raise a family? | 想成家了怎么办 |
| [04:33] | Don’t cry. look. | 别哭别哭 看 |
| [04:37] | You want to see daddy dance? you like to see daddy dance. | 你想看爸爸跳舞吗 你想看爸爸跳舞吗 |
| [04:41] | Look at daddy dance. | 看 爸爸跳舞给你们看 |
| [04:44] | Who am I kidding? | 我在骗谁啊 |
| [04:48] | Sweetheart, I have to go. I’ve a patient. | 甜心 我得挂了 有病人来了 |
| [04:51] | No, you just stay off your feet. remember, you’re very pregnant. | 别 你得老老实实躺着 你可有孕在身 |
| [04:55] | Huge. | 肚子可大了 |
| [04:56] | Yeah, I love you, too. | 嗯 我也爱你 |
| [04:58] | I know. we’re going to have a baby. | 我知道 我们就要有个小宝贝了 |
| [05:01] | Yes, we are. okay, sweetie, bye-bye. | 嗯 对 是 甜心 拜拜 |
| [05:05] | So, mr. Harper, you want a vasectomy? | 这么说 哈勃先生 你想把输精管切了? |
| [05:08] | Yes. you do that, right? | 对 你们有这项业务 对的吧 |
| [05:11] | Of course we do. in the exam room next door. snip, snip. | 那是当然 隔壁的检查室 咔嚓 咔嚓 |
| [05:15] | Great. I just have a couple of pre-snip questions. | 太棒了 手术前我还有几个问题要问 |
| [05:18] | Shoot. which, by the way, you’ll still do post-snip, | 说吧 对了 你手术后还有问题要问的 |
| [05:21] | If that was one of your questions. | 如果下个问题你问这个的话 |
| [05:24] | Good. | 好极了 |
| [05:25] | Of course, if I’ve done my job right, you’ll be shooting blanks. yeah? | 当然 如果手术成功 你就都放空炮了 |
| [05:29] | Yeah, I got that. | 喔 我知道了 |
| [05:32] | What I was wondering is if there’s any permanent effects. | 我想问会不会有某些永久性副作用 |
| [05:34] | You mean like sexual impairment? | 你是指性功能损伤吗 |
| [05:37] | No. wait a minute. | 不不不 等一下 |
| [05:40] | There can be sexual impairment? | 会有性功能损伤? |
| [05:42] | No, I just wanted to see the look on your face. | 不不不 我只是想看看你脸上的表情 |
| [05:45] | No, actually, you’ll be able to perform exactly as you did before. | 事实上 你会像以前一样雄风不减 |
| [05:48] | Great. | 太棒了 |
| [05:50] | But what about like creativity? | 创造能力呢 |
| [05:53] | See, I write music for a living. will I still be able to do that? | 你知道 我靠作曲为生 我还能做那吗 |
| [05:58] | Do you write with your testicles? | 你用睾丸作曲吗? |
| [06:04] | No. | 不 |
| [06:05] | Then it shouldn’t be a problem. now, let me ask you a question. | 那就没问题了 现在我要问你个问题 |
| [06:09] | -do you have children already? -no. | -你有孩子了吗 -没 |
| [06:11] | Then you might want to think about freezing some sperm | 那你可得考虑冷藏些精子 |
| [06:14] | In case you ever change your mind. | 万一你改主意了呢 |
| [06:15] | -frozen sperm? I don’t know. -why not? | -冷藏精子? 我不确定 -为什么? |
| [06:18] | You know, you freeze shrimp, it’s never as good as fresh. | 但你知道 冷藏虾可远比不上新鲜的 |
| [06:23] | That’s really not the same thing. | 那可不是一回事 |
| [06:25] | So you know for a fact that frozen kids are just the same as the regulars? | 你确定冷藏过的小孩和普通的一样 |
| [06:30] | Yeah, pretty much. | 是的 差不多 |
| [06:32] | Of course, when they grow up they do tend to migrate to the sunbelt. | 当然长大了他们会搬到热带地区 |
| [06:37] | Nothing? wow. that one kills at urology conventions. | 没听懂? 哇喔 在泌尿学大会上这笑话可是笑死人不偿命的 |
| [06:42] | Excuse me. yes? | 不好意思 喂 |
| [06:44] | Put her on. it’s my wife. | 把她接通过来 是我太太 |
| [06:46] | Hi, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [06:48] | No kidding, she’s really kicking up a storm, huh? | 说真的 她真的在踢你 喔 |
| [06:51] | Yeah, we know it’s a girl. | 噢 我们知道是个女孩 |
| [06:53] | -good. -hang on. | -挺好 -等一下 |
| [06:55] | Do you like brittany or allison for a name? | 你觉得布莱尼和艾莉森哪个名字好 |
| [06:58] | -they’re both nice. -yeah. | -都挺好的 -哦 |
| [07:00] | Okay, honey, let me get this guy out of here and I’ll call you back. | 好 亲爱的 我解决了这家伙再打给你 |
| [07:04] | Okay, mommy. | 好 妈咪 |
| [07:06] | Yeah, you’re going to be a mommy. | 对 你就要当妈妈了 |
| [07:08] | Yes, you are. | 对 是的 |
| [07:11] | So, frozen sperm. | 呃 冷藏精子 |
| [07:15] | I’m just not really sure I want to go into some little room | 我可不想去一个小房间 |
| [07:18] | With a bunch of magazines and you know… | 拿着一捆杂志 你知道 |
| [07:20] | Actually, we have videos now. kind of hot. | 事实上 我们会给看片子 相当的黄 |
| [07:23] | You don’t have to do it here. we’ll give you a container, | 你也不一定要在这里 我们会给你一个容器 |
| [07:26] | You can go home, make yourself comfortable, | 你能拿回家 怎么舒服怎么来 |
| [07:28] | Dim the lights, put on a little sweet soul music… | 调暗灯 来点悦耳的音乐 |
| [07:31] | I know the procedure. | 我知道怎样 |
| [07:32] | Then just bring it back here while the little fellas are still swimming, | 然后 趁那些小东西还在游动 送回这儿 |
| [07:36] | And we’ll turn them into popsicles. | 我们会把他们冻成冰棒的 |
| [07:38] | Popsicles? | 冰棒? |
| [07:40] | You know, in case someday you want to be a pop. | 你知道 万一哪天你想做爸爸了 |
| [07:44] | Yeah. very clever. | 对啊 太有才了 |
| [07:47] | You deal with prostates and penises all day, | 整天对着前列腺和鸡巴 |
| [07:50] | you better have a sense of humor. | 得有点幽默感才行 |
| [07:52] | And warm hands. | 还有热情的手 |
| [07:53] | That’s good, I’ll use that. | 对 我会用上的 |
| [07:55] | Warm hands. that’s good. yeah. | 热手 对 非常好 |
| [08:01] | I’m done. can I go play in my room? | 我吃饱了 我可以回房间玩吗 |
| [08:04] | Jake, grandma came all the way over here to spend some time with you. | 杰克 奶奶老远赶来 就是为了和你待会儿 |
| [08:08] | Alan, don’t use guilt as a control mechanism. | 艾伦 别把内疚当成杀手锏 |
| [08:12] | He should only spend time with me if he wants to. | 他应该想什么时候和我待一块就什么时候 |
| [08:21] | So I can go, right? | 所以我能走了 对吗 |
| [08:25] | Run. | 快走快走 |
| [08:29] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [08:30] | -good morning, darling. -morning, Charlie. | -早上好 亲爱的 -早 查理 |
| [08:33] | Charlie, what’s wrong with your pee-pee? | 查理 你的弟弟怎样啦 |
| [08:38] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:39] | A little birdie told me you were in a urologist’s office yesterday. | 有只小鸟告诉我你昨天看泌尿科医生去了 |
| [08:43] | Thanks a lot, tweety. | 真是感激不尽啊 鸡婆 |
| [08:45] | I didn’t say anything. | 我可什么都没说 |
| [08:47] | Coincidentally, your doctor has a suite in the same building as dr. | 巧的是 你医生和沙克曼医生 |
| [08:50] | shankman. | 在同一栋楼办公 |
| [08:51] | The man responsible for one out of three tight tushies in beverly hills. | 贝弗利山负责三合一缩臀术的那个 |
| [08:55] | So, dr. Shankman saw me and told you? | 沙克曼医生看见了我 然后告诉了你 |
| [08:57] | No, you left your appointment card on the table here. | 不 你把你的会晤卡落在了这桌上 |
| [09:00] | I just brought up dr. Shankman because no one has noticed my new tushie. | 说沙克曼医生是因为没人注意我的新翘臀 |
| [09:07] | Very nice, mom. | 非常漂亮 妈妈 |
| [09:09] | Of course. it’s a Shankman. | 那当然 沙克曼的大作 |
| [09:14] | So, charles, back to your pee-pee. | 呃 查尔斯 还是说说你弟弟的事吧 |
| [09:17] | I’m done. can I go play in my room? | 我饱了 我能回房间玩吗 |
| [09:20] | There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m just getting a vasectomy. | 没什么不正常的 我只是想做输精管切除术 |
| [09:25] | You must really hate me. | 你是不是想气死我啊 |
| [09:28] | Are we changing the subject? | 我们换话题了吗? |
| [09:31] | How can you have a vasectomy without consulting me? | 你怎么做手术前也不问问我的意见呢 |
| [09:34] | You’re selfishly robbing me of grandchildren. | 你自私地夺走了我的孙子 |
| [09:37] | -you’ve got grandchildren. -oh, big whoop, one. | -你不是有一个嘛 -真了不得啊 有一个呢 |
| [09:42] | If it makes you feel any better, I’m going to do the freezing thing. | 为了让你舒服点 我会冷藏一些精子 |
| [09:46] | Really? | 真的 |
| [09:47] | I suppose that’s better than nothing. | 有总比没有好 |
| [09:51] | You know, I’m doing a freezing thing, too. | 知道吗 我也打算冷藏些东西 |
| [09:54] | -what? -excuse me? | -啥 -什么 |
| [09:56] | At death, I plan to have my head removed and frozen until such time | 我死后 打算砍下我的头冷冻起来 |
| [09:59] | As it can be revived and put on a monkey body. | 直到有天能再把它安到猴子身上 |
| [10:06] | What? everybody’s doing it. | 这没什么 人人都这么做 |
| [10:18] | Charlie, you got somebody in there? | 查理 屋里有人吗 |
| [10:21] | No. | 没 |
| [10:23] | I need to get your towels. | 我要取一下你的毛巾 |
| [10:26] | I really wish you wouldn’t. | 你别来 真的 |
| [10:28] | Come on, I’m doing laundry. I want to finish a load before I go. | 别呀 我去洗衣服 我还想装满了再去呢 |
| [10:33] | Yeah. well, me, too. | 对 我也是 |
| [10:37] | -what? -never mind, just go away. | -什么 -没什么 你走吧 |
| [10:41] | All right. if it helps, you can think of me. | 好吧 需要帮助的话 记得想着我啊 |
| [10:51] | Charlie, wait a second. | 查理 等一下 |
| [10:53] | I don’t have to pick up Jake till after dinner. | 我吃完饭不用去接杰克 |
| [10:55] | You want to catch an early movie? | 你想去看个早场的电影吗 |
| [10:56] | Maybe. but I gotta make one stop first. come on. | 行呀 不过我得先去下另一个地方 走 |
| [11:05] | So, what’s in the bag? | 这袋子里装的什么啊 |
| [11:07] | -sperm. -no, really. | -精子 -开什么玩笑? |
| [11:11] | Sperm. | 是精子 |
| [11:16] | whose sperm? | 谁的? |
| [11:18] | seabiscuit’s. who do you think? mine. | 海洋饼干(电影”奔腾年代”里的赛马)的 除了我的还有谁的 |
| [11:21] | I thought we were going to a movie. | 我们不是去看电影吗 |
| [11:24] | Yeah, but first I’m having my sperm frozen and getting a vasectomy. | 是 但我先要冷藏精子 然后去切掉输精管 |
| [11:31] | I could’ve met you at the theater, you know. | 早知道我就直接去剧院等你了 |
| [11:34] | Just hold the bag. | 你就拿着袋子吧 |
| [11:39] | There is another container inside this bag, right? | 袋子里还有另一个容器 对吧 |
| [11:43] | Of course. you just gotta keep it out of the sunlight. | 那是当然 你别让它给太阳晒着呀 |
| [11:47] | Why? is it vampire sperm? | 为什么 难道是吸血鬼的精子 |
| [11:54] | Jeez. he’s gonna want to look in the bag. | 天啊 他肯定要看袋子里是什么 |
| [11:57] | God. | 天啊 |
| [11:59] | No! | 喂 不 |
| [12:02] | -what the hell did you do that for? -i don’t know, I panicked. | -你干嘛要那样 -我不知道 我慌了神了 |
| [12:14] | -hey, Charlie! -what? | -嘿嘿 查理 -什么事 |
| [12:17] | Are you nuts? you can’t put that in the freezer. | 你疯啦 那东西怎么能放冰箱里 |
| [12:20] | It’s ice cream. | 是冰激凌 |
| [12:23] | Store-bought, not hand-cranked. | 店里买的 不是自制的 |
| [12:26] | Yeah, you’re hilarious. | 天啊 你可真会逗人 |
| [12:29] | You’re lucky I’m still talking to you | 你就谢天谢地吧 你在高速上扔了 |
| [12:31] | After tossing my swimmers on the coast highway. | 我的小蝌蚪 我居然还跟你讲话 |
| [12:34] | -what? -it’s nothing. | -什么 -没什么 |
| [12:36] | Thanks to you, I got to reschedule the whole deal for this afternoon. | 多亏了你啊 我今儿一下午都得重新安排了 |
| [12:39] | -what whole deal? -it’s not important, Jake. | -到底怎么啦 -没什么 杰克 |
| [12:41] | Why shouldn’t he know? | 他为什么不能知道 |
| [12:42] | Okay, go ahead. explain it to him. | 行 行 你向他解释 |
| [12:46] | Well, Jake, | 呃 杰克 |
| [12:50] | Your uncle Charlie is getting a vasectomy. | 你查理叔叔要来个输精管切除术 |
| [12:55] | What’s wrong with the car you have now? | 你现在的车出什么问题了吗 |
| [13:02] | Well done. | 真不错 |
| [13:07] | All right, let me try again. | 不算 我再试一次 |
| [13:10] | A vasectomy is a very simple operation. | 切除输精管是很简单的手术 |
| [13:12] | -are you sick? -no. I’m perfectly healthy. | -你病了? -不 我健康得很 |
| [13:16] | It’s a procedure so that I don’t have babies by accident. | 做了这个手术我就不会不小心生孩子了 |
| [13:20] | Yeah, like we had to do with Scout. | 啊 就像司考特一样 |
| [13:24] | Scout? | 什么司考特 |
| [13:25] | The dog we had. couldn’t keep it in his fur. | 我们的狗 老是动个不停 |
| [13:29] | Keep going, you’re doing great. | 接下去讲啊 不赖 |
| [13:32] | Jake, it’s not exactly the same with people as with dogs. | 杰克 人和狗不是完全一样的 |
| [13:35] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [13:41] | Why don’t you just use a condom? | 那你干嘛不用套子呢 |
| [13:52] | I guess he knows more than he lets on. | 我猜他比他看起来知道得多 |
| [13:58] | -you do, don’t you? -i hear things. | -是吗 对不对 -我又不是没耳朵 |
| [14:03] | Thanks for babysitting, Rose. | 真是太感谢你了 帮我看小孩 罗斯 |
| [14:05] | My pleasure. is Charlie gonna be okay? | 乐意之至 查理好吗 |
| [14:08] | Yeah. he’s just having a little procedure done, | 好 他正在搞点小名堂 |
| [14:10] | And I need to be there to drive him home. | 我要开车去小孩了 |
| [14:12] | -what kind of procedure? -it’s personal. | -什么名堂 -太隐私了 |
| [14:15] | I understand. where is he? | 我能理解 他人呢 |
| [14:18] | Upstairs, getting ready. throwing a few things in a bag. | 在楼上 准备往袋子里装点小东西 |
| [14:23] | -i’ll tell Jake you’re here. -okay. | -我会告诉杰克你在 -好的 |
| [14:38] | -Charlie? -Rose, for god’s sake! | -查理 -罗斯 看在上帝的份上 |
| [14:41] | -you need a hand? -no, get out. | -要搭把手吗 -不要 出去 |
| [14:50] | -Charlie? -what? | -查理 -什么事 |
| [14:53] | -what’s the little cup for? -go away, Rose. | -那个小杯子干嘛用的 -走远点 罗斯 |
| [14:57] | Don’t be embarrassed. | 别不好意思呀 |
| [14:59] | That’s a perfectly natural way to relieve stress. | 那是一种很好的舒缓压力的办法 |
| [15:02] | You know what I do? jumping jacks. | 你知道我会做什么吗 跳爆竹 |
| [15:05] | Rose, please. | 罗斯 求求你了 |
| [15:07] | The only downside is, when I exercise, I get all hot and sweaty, | 唯一不好的是 做完运动 一身汗 |
| [15:11] | And my clothes start clinging to my body. | 衣服都贴在身上 |
| [15:14] | So then I have to go and take a nice, hot, soapy shower. | 所以我得用肥皂洗个舒服的热水澡 |
| [15:20] | Then what? | 然后呢 |
| [15:24] | Rose? | 罗斯? |
| [15:27] | Oh, damn. | 啊 要死 |
| [15:31] | Look, I’m sorry I walked in on you. | 呃 很抱歉闯了进来 |
| [15:32] | I thought you were finished with the video and everything. | 我以为看完片了 还有别的也完了 |
| [15:36] | -forget it, Alan. -i wish I could. | -别提了 艾伦 -我也想 |
| [15:40] | Why didn’t you hang a sock on the doorknob? | 你干嘛不在门把上挂只袜子呢 |
| [15:43] | It wouldn’t have helped. | 没用的 |
| [15:44] | Obviously, a power much greater than myself | 显然一种由不得我的力量 |
| [15:47] | Doesn’t want me to freeze my sperm. | 不想让我冷藏我的精子 |
| [15:49] | If you don’t, and you go ahead with this vasectomy, | 但你不那样就做切除手术的话 |
| [15:51] | You’ll never be able to have children. | 就永远别想要孩子了 |
| [15:53] | What difference does it make? we both know I’m not daddy material. | 有什么关系吗 你我都知道我不会是当爸的料 |
| [15:57] | No, not now, or any time soon, | 是的 现在不会 以后也不会 |
| [16:01] | But who knows, maybe in the distant monkey-body future. | 但谁知道 到可以用猴子身体的遥远未来的时候呢 |
| [16:05] | Look, this is my life. I know what’s best for me. | 这是我的生活 我知道怎样最好 |
| [16:09] | Okay, mr. Harper. | OK 哈勃先生 |
| [16:12] | Why don’t you jump up on the table, | 请你跳上那张桌子 |
| [16:14] | Put your legs in the stirrups and we’ll get you shaved. | 脚放在那俩马镫上 然后我们帮你把毛剃掉 |
| [16:21] | Damn, I didn’t bring the camcorder. | 要死 我怎么没带摄像机 |
| [16:25] | -thanks, Alan. I’ll see you later. -yeah. good luck. | -谢谢 艾伦 一会儿见吧 -好 祝你好运 |
| [16:28] | Don’t forget to put a cone around his head so he doesn’t bite at the | 别忘了给他头上套个东西 |
| [16:34] | stitches. | 防止他咬刀口 |
| [16:36] | All right, | 行啦 |
| [16:38] | Iet’s have a look. | 看一下 |
| [16:42] | Okay, in my defense, it’s a little cold in here. | OK 实际上 我觉得这儿有点冷 |
| [16:45] | Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that. | 兄弟 要是我每听一句这能拿到5分钱就好了 |
| [17:07] | So, what’s your name? | 你叫什么名字 |
| [17:11] | Naomi. | 娜奥米 |
| [17:13] | Let me ask you something, Naomi. | 问你一些问题吧 娜奥米 |
| [17:15] | Does doing this make you want to have dinner with me more or less? | 做这 你是越想还是越不想和我共进晚餐 |
| [17:19] | Just a reminder, mr. Harper, I’m holding a razor to your genitals. | 好心提醒 哈勃先生 我正拿刀靠着你弟弟 |
| [17:24] | I know, but how “meet cute” is this? | 我知道 这可是难得的调帅哥的机会 |
| [17:28] | What a great story to tell our… | 多好的故事啊 要是能告诉我们… |
| [17:33] | Our what? | 我们什么 |
| [17:35] | Never mind. | 没什么 |
| [17:38] | -okay, all done. -that was quick. | -好了 干完了 -好快 |
| [17:41] | You got a little mirror so I can check out the back? | 有没有小镜子让我看一下背面 |
| [17:45] | Not that little. | 没那么小的 |
| [17:49] | Come on, honey. I know. breathe with me. | 加油 宝贝 我知道 来 跟我一起深呼吸 |
| [17:53] | All right, that’s good. | 好 太好了 |
| [17:55] | I gotta do one quick snip and then I’ll meet you at the hospital. | 我得飞快的咔嚓一下然后去医院陪你 |
| [17:58] | -excuse me, quick snip? -no, thanks, I’m fine. | -什么 飞快地咔嚓一下 -谢谢 不用 我很好 |
| [18:00] | Yeah. I love you, too. breathe, honey. just breathe. | 对 我你爱你 深呼吸 宝贝 深呼吸 |
| [18:04] | Okay, bye-bye. it’s getting exciting now. | 好 拜拜 太激动人心了 |
| [18:08] | Okay, let’s see what we’re up against here. | 好了 我们看看有什么要处理 |
| [18:10] | Woof. that’s quite a haircut. | 哇 发型真不错 |
| [18:13] | Looks like my grandma in a bathing cap. | 像我奶奶戴着浴帽 |
| [18:19] | Okay, mr. Harper, | 好 哈勃先生 |
| [18:21] | I’m gonna give you a local anesthetic here | 我要给你注射麻药 |
| [18:23] | So you’re gonna feel a little sting. | 你会有一点刺痛感 |
| [18:25] | Just let me know when you’re about to. holy mother of god! | 你开始前告诉我一下就好 上帝他娘呀 |
| [18:30] | Okay, here it comes. kidding. | 好 来啦 开玩笑的 |
| [18:35] | I got you. | 我整到你了 |
| [18:36] | Now, we’ll just give it a minute till we’re nice and numb. | 现在等一分钟 一会儿会麻麻的很舒服 |
| [18:39] | You know, we’re thinking juliet now, or maybe julianne. | 知道吗 我们考虑是叫朱莉叶还是朱莉安 |
| [18:42] | Both good names. | 都不错 |
| [18:43] | Yeah, you want a name that fits a child, | 是啊 取名字又得适合小孩子 |
| [18:46] | but also is appropriate for an adult. | 又得适合大人 |
| [18:48] | Can you feel my finger? | 你能感觉我的手指吗 |
| [18:50] | What finger? why? what are you doing? | 什么手指 为啥什么 你在干吗 |
| [18:52] | Okay, let’s start snipping. | 好了 我们开始咔嚓 |
| [18:58] | Naomi, could you get that for me? | 娜奥米 你能帮我拿一下手机吗 |
| [19:03] | Hello? hi, honey. no, I can talk. | 喂 宝贝 不 我能说话 |
| [19:08] | What, you’re kidding, already? okay, don’t panic, I’m on my way. | 什么 你开玩笑的吧 这么快? 好 别慌 我就来 |
| [19:12] | Okay, this is a little embarrassing, but I have to go. | 啊 这有点不好意思 但我得走了 |
| [19:15] | Why don’t you see to it that mr. Harper has another appointment? | 你何不跟哈勃先生回头再约时间吧 |
| [19:18] | And no charge for the haircut. yeah. | 这理发钱就免了 |
| [19:21] | I’m gonna be a daddy. | 我要做爸爸了 |
| [19:28] | Man, he looks really happy. | 天啊 他看起来好开心 |
| [19:30] | Yeah, they’ve been trying for a long time. | 是 他们努力好久了 |
| [19:34] | You can put your legs down now. | 你能把腿放下来了 |
| [19:37] | Yeah, that’s one option. | 对 那也是一个选择 |
| [19:48] | -unbelievable. -let it go, Alan. | -太不可思议了 -别提了 艾伦 |
| [19:50] | Who goes in for a vasectomy and comes out with a date? | 有谁为了切输精管去医院却带了个妞出来 |
| [19:54] | What? I’m a man, she’s a woman. | 什么 我是男人 她是女人 |
| [19:57] | A woman who two minutes after you met her | 一个女人两分钟前 |
| [19:59] | Was shaving your scrotum. | 还在刮你的阴毛 |
| [20:01] | So we skipped ahead a little. | 我们是有点太快了 |
| [20:05] | -you feeling any calmer, uncle Charlie? -what do you mean? | -你觉得安心点了吗 查理叔叔 -什么意思 |
| [20:08] | When Scout had his operation, he got real calm. | 司考特做了手术以后 他变得安静多了 |
| [20:11] | Then he got fat and only wanted to sleep behind the dryer. | 然后发胖 一个劲地在干洗机后面睡觉 |
| [20:16] | Okay, first of all, it’s not the same operation. | 首先 那不是一样的手术 |
| [20:19] | And second of all, I didn’t even have it. | 然后 我可没做手术 |
| [20:21] | -so you’re gonna have kids? -i don’t know. maybe some day. | -那你以后打算要孩子了 -我不知道 也许 |
| [20:25] | I hope so, because you’d be a cool dad. | 我希望这样 因为你会是个很酷的爸爸的 |
| [20:29] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [20:34] | -did you hear that? -yeah. | -你听见了吗 -嗯 |
| [20:37] | So, you’re not gonna have the vasectomy? | 你不打算切掉输精管了吧 |
| [20:39] | I tried my best, but it just wasn’t meant to be. | 我尽力了 但似乎就是不行 |
| [20:42] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [20:43] | Do you think it was a coincidence that my urologist was having a baby | 我医生就在我快咔嚓了的时候生小孩去了 |
| [20:47] | At the very moment I was about to get snipped? | 你觉得这仅仅就是个巧合? |
| [20:50] | I mean, I’m not a particularly religious guy, | 我是说 虽然我不太信教 |
| [20:52] | But clearly a power much greater than myself | 但很明显有个不由我控制的力量 |
| [20:56] | Wants me to knock somebody up some day. | 想要我什么时候搞大某人肚子 |
| [21:01] | You called? | 你在叫我吗 |