| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Do you just get up in the morning and figure out ways to make me crazy? | 你是不是早上一睁眼 就绞尽脑汁想让我抓狂? |
| [00:04] | Is that what you do? You plot it out? | 这就是你想做的吗? 费尽心思? |
| [00:06] | How can I make Alan miserable today? | 今天怎样才能把艾伦搞衰? |
| [00:08] | How can I reach into his chest… | 怎样才能把他开膛剖腹… |
| [00:10] | …rip out his heart, and suck it dry? | …活活榨干? |
| [00:14] | -Mom or ex-wife? -Ex-wife. | -是老妈还是前妻? -前妻 |
| [00:17] | -Hi, Judith. -Charlie says hello. | -跟茱蒂丝问好 -查理向你问好 |
| [00:20] | She says hi. You’re evil and selfish, you know that? | 她回敬你 你知道吗? 你没心没肺 自私自利 |
| [00:23] | No, no. l… I think that is a helpful comment. | 不 我觉得我的评语很中肯 |
| [00:26] | I pay you alimony and child support so that you can have a nice house… | 我付你赡养费 给你津贴 你才可以住漂亮房子… |
| [00:29] | …a nice car, every weekend free because I’ve got Jake. | …开好车 把杰克丢给我 自己享受周末闲暇时光 |
| [00:32] | And yet you’re telling me you need a vacation? | 你竟然说你要休假? |
| [00:36] | Oh, really? Oh, really? And what exactly is stressing you out, Judith? | 真的吗? 真的吗? 是什么让你压力过大? 朱蒂丝 |
| [00:40] | Is it the weekly manicure? The housekeeper? | 是每周美甲? 还是钟点工? |
| [00:43] | -Boob lift. -The boob lift. | -隆胸 -还是隆胸 |
| [00:45] | -That you paid for. -That I paid for. | -用你的钱 -用我的钱 |
| [00:47] | -And never got to see. -And never got to see. | -却无缘得以一见 -却无缘得以一见 |
| [00:52] | No, no, no. You listen to me. | 不不 你听我说 |
| [00:53] | I think you live a damn fine lifestyle… | 你过着滋润的小日子… |
| [00:56] | …that I work 60 hours a week to support. | 是我每周工作60小时换来的 |
| [00:58] | So if anybody needs a vacation, it’s not you. It’s me! | 要是说谁有资格休假的话 那也该是我 不是你 |
| [01:03] | All right, then. | 好啊 |
| [01:06] | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| [01:10] | Judith’s going to Hawaii for a week. | 茱蒂丝要去夏威夷玩一个礼拜 |
| [01:14] | So Jake’s staying here. | 所以杰克会住过来 |
| [01:16] | I’m shocked. | 我惊到了 |
| [01:29] | Come on, Jake. It’s time to get up for school. | 杰克 快起床去上学了 |
| [01:31] | I can’t go to school. | 我去不了学校了 |
| [01:33] | -I’m sick. -What’s wrong? | -我生病了 -怎么了? |
| [01:35] | I think I have acid reflex disease. | 胃酸反流 |
| [01:38] | Really? Acid reflex disease? | 真的? 胃酸反流? |
| [01:43] | Where does it hurt? | 哪里痛? |
| [01:46] | My head? | 头? |
| [01:49] | -Nice try. -My throat? | -再蒙一次 -喉咙? |
| [01:51] | Get up. | 快起床 |
| [01:54] | All right, all right. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [01:56] | I just want you to know, I’m starting my day really stressed out. | 我只想告诉你 一天才刚开始 我就超有压力了 |
| [01:59] | Oh, I’m sorry. Would you like me to send you to Hawaii? | 那可真对不起你了 把你也送去夏威夷可好? |
| [02:03] | That would be nice. | 那好啊 |
| [02:09] | What’s taking you so long? | 你怎么还不出来? |
| [02:12] | -I can’t find my other shoe. -So put on a different pair. | -另一只鞋找不到了 -那再换一双 |
| [02:15] | But this one’s on already. | 可是我已经穿上一只了啊 |
| [02:19] | Hey, what are you doing up so late? | 你们那么晚了在干吗? |
| [02:22] | It’s 7 a.m. | 现在是早上7点 |
| [02:25] | -What am I doing up so early? -Where have you been? | -那这么早我在干吗? -你去哪了? |
| [02:29] | Searching the kingdom for the woman who fits this shoe. | 寻遍整个王国 只为那个能穿上这鞋的女子 |
| [02:33] | Hey, that’s mine. Where was it? | 那是我的 在哪找到的? |
| [02:35] | In the driveway. | 在车道上 |
| [02:37] | Oh, yeah! | 对哦 |
| [02:39] | Okay, let’s go. | 好了 出发吧 |
| [02:41] | -Got my lunch? -Lunch? | -你准备好我午饭了吗? -午饭? |
| [02:43] | -You’re supposed to make me lunch. -Oh, crap. | -你要给我做午饭的啊 -糟糕 |
| [02:47] | This isn’t helping my stress level. | 我压力感又倍增了 |
| [02:51] | I forget. Why are you here in the middle of the week? | 我忘了 你怎么这周才过半就来了? |
| [02:54] | -Because my mom’s on vacation. -From what? | -因为我妈去度假了 -要逃离什么? |
| [02:57] | Me. | 我 |
| [03:02] | A word of advice: Don’t date women who live near the airport. | 贴心小建议 不要和住在飞机场附近的女人约会 |
| [03:06] | It’s impossible to sleep in. | 根本无法入睡 |
| [03:09] | I’ll try to remember that. | 我会记住的 |
| [03:12] | Wish I knew her well enough to bring her back here. | 真希望我和她熟到能把她带回来 |
| [03:15] | Well, maybe next time. | 下次吧 |
| [03:17] | Next time? | 还有下次? |
| [03:20] | -My lunch ready? -It’s right here. What are you doing? | -我午饭好了吗? -就在这 你干什么啊? |
| [03:23] | -That was for Jake. -I don’t see his name on it. | -这是给杰克准备的 -这上面又没写他的名字 |
| [03:31] | Okay, fine. You’Il… You’ll have half a sandwich… | 好吧 给你半个三明治… |
| [03:34] | …and a banana, and maybe an orange, and… | …一根香蕉 一个橙子 还有… |
| [03:38] | …what the hell, an artichoke. | …管他的 再来个洋蓟 (artichoke 通常整棵煮熟吃) |
| [03:42] | An artichoke? | 洋蓟? |
| [03:45] | Maybe you can trade it for something good. | 说不定你能用它换到别的好东西 |
| [03:48] | With who? One of the slow kids? | 和谁啊 和那些笨孩子? |
| [03:50] | Give it a shot. Tell him it’s a puppy. | 试试看嘛 告诉他这是只小狗狗 |
| [03:54] | Come on, let’s go. | 快点 我们走吧 |
| [03:57] | I forgot. I have to write five insightful questions I’d ask George Washington. | 我忘了件事 我要准备5个有深度的问题向乔治·华盛顿提问 |
| [04:01] | What? Last night you said you had no homework. | 什么? 昨晚你不是说没功课吗? |
| [04:03] | Dad, I just said I forgot. | 老爸 我都说我忘了 |
| [04:08] | -Okay, fine. You’ll do it in the car. -I was planning on doing math in the car. | -好吧 你在车上写 -我本想在车上做数学呢 |
| [04:15] | President Washington. | 华盛顿总统先生 |
| [04:17] | Question number one: | 问题1 |
| [04:19] | “Have you ever thought of coming back from the dead as a zombie?” | 您是否曾想过变成丧尸复活? |
| [04:24] | Jake, I don’t think that’s what your teacher had in mind. | 杰克 我觉得 这不会是你老师想要看到的 |
| [04:28] | Do you wanna do it? | 你想写? |
| [04:30] | No, no. You’re doing fine. | 不用了 你写的很好 |
| [04:32] | Question two: | 问题2 |
| [04:34] | “Can you eat human flesh with wooden teeth?” | 您能用木头牙齿吃人肉吗? |
| [04:39] | Hi, Lorraine. I’m running a little late. | 拉蕊 我可能会迟到 |
| [04:42] | Could you move my 9:30 to 10, my 10 to 10:30… | 你能帮我把9点半的改到10点 10点的改到10点半… |
| [04:46] | …and, well, you see where this is going. | …一直这样推迟下去 明白了吧 |
| [04:50] | You don’t? | 你不明白? |
| [04:52] | Hang on, I’ve got somebody on the other line. | 等下 有另一通电话进来了 |
| [04:55] | Hello. | 请讲 |
| [04:57] | Oh, hi, Mom. Look, I can’t talk right now. I’m driving Jake to school. | 妈妈好啊 我现在不能跟你说话 我在开车送杰克上学去的路上 |
| [05:01] | Well, Judith’s in Hawaii. | 茱蒂丝在夏威夷 |
| [05:05] | No, that does not make me a doormat. | 不 这不能说明我好欺负 |
| [05:08] | Patsy is just another word for doormat, Mom. | 我好骗不代表我好欺负 老妈 |
| [05:12] | l… Lo… I gotta go. I’ll call you later. | 我得挂了 等会再打给你 |
| [05:17] | Hi, Lorraine. I’m back. | 拉蕊 继续吧 |
| [05:18] | No, no, don’t put me on hold. | 别 别 别走开 |
| [05:21] | Question three: | 问题3 |
| [05:23] | “Do you think the Revolutionary War would have been won sooner… | 您若拥有一支不死亡灵组成的军队… |
| [05:26] | …if you had an army of the undead?” | … 是否会更快打赢独立战争? |
| [05:32] | This is actually pretty easy. | 这问题太简单了 |
| [05:35] | Lorraine, this is Dr. Harper. | 拉蕊 我是哈勃医生 |
| [05:39] | Listen, I’m… I’m gonna be there in about 40 minutes. | 听着 我40分钟后就到 |
| [05:42] | What do you mean, you’re going home? | 你要回家了 这是什么意思? |
| [05:45] | Oh, come on. You were premenstrual two weeks ago. | 拜托 你2个礼拜前就说经期来了 |
| [05:49] | Yes, I keep track. | 是的 我有做记录 |
| [05:52] | Question number four: | 问题4 |
| [05:54] | “What’s your opinion of the new, faster-walking zombies?” | 你怎么看新暴走型丧尸? |
| [05:58] | No, no, no. Lor… Lorraine. | 不要 拉蕊 |
| [06:00] | Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. | 求你了 不要哭 |
| [06:08] | Charlie, I’m going home. | 查理 我要回家了 |
| [06:31] | How many times have I asked you not to do that? | 我都对你说了几回别那么做了? |
| [06:35] | -I’m going home. -I suppose you want me to pay you. | -我要回家了 -我想你是想让我付你工钱吧 |
| [06:38] | Not necessary. I took the money out of your wallet. | 大可不必了 我从你钱包里拿过钱了 |
| [06:43] | -Fine. -Guess what? I got a raise. | -好吧 -你猜怎么着? 我涨工资了 |
| [06:47] | Congratulations. | 恭喜啦 |
| [06:49] | -You wanna know why I got a raise? -No, I’m sure I had my reasons. | -想知道我为什么涨工资了吗? -不 我给你涨总归有理由的 |
| [06:56] | Because when I took this job, all I had to do was clean up after you. | 因为当我接受你这份工时 我要做的不过是收拾你的烂摊子 |
| [07:00] | And while that may have been disgusting, it was doable. | 虽然说有点恶心 不过还是能忍受的 |
| [07:04] | And then your brother moved in, which I accepted with my usual good humor… | 然后你弟弟搬进来了 禀着随和的天性我接受了这个事实… |
| [07:09] | …because he cleans up after himself like a neurotic raccoon. | …因为他像只神经质的浣熊 把自己拾掇得一干二净 |
| [07:14] | This is about the kid, right? | 和那个孩子有关吧? |
| [07:16] | Good for you. That’s why you’re the boss. | 真不赖啊 所以你才是老板嘛 |
| [07:20] | He’s just here for a week. It’s a temporary situation. | 他不过来这小住1周 现状只是暂时的 |
| [07:24] | And yet my raise is permanent. | 不过我的加薪可是永久性的 |
| [07:27] | Sounds fair. | 很公平 |
| [07:29] | God, what a horrible day. | 老天 多糟糕的一天啊 |
| [07:32] | -Tell me about it. -Show of hands: | -可不是嘛 -举手表决吧 |
| [07:35] | Who spent their day pre-soaking the shorts of a kid… | 这里谁花一天时间浸泡孩子衬衣… |
| [07:37] | …who leaves more skid marks than a getaway car? | …上面的刹车痕比赛车车身上还多? |
| [07:42] | That’s what I thought. | 正如我想的 |
| [07:44] | Now, if you ladies will excuse me… | 女士们 允许我失陪了… |
| [07:47] | …I have three buses to catch. | …我还要赶3班车 |
| [07:54] | I bet she catches them by hand. | 我打赌她肯定用手直接拦车 |
| [07:58] | Yeah, well, I have my own problems. | 没错 我自己也有烦心事呢 |
| [08:00] | I was late for work, my receptionist went home early… | 我今天上班迟到了 我的前台提前下班走了… |
| [08:03] | …because, apparently, she has the reproductive cycle of a jackrabbit… | …因为很显然 她生理期跟长耳野兔的一样… |
| [08:08] | …and then I had a large, drunk Samoan man walk in… | …然后一个大块头的 萨摩亚醉汉闯了进来… |
| [08:11] | …who thought that chiropractor means “massage with happy ending.” | …他以为脊椎指压师是可以提供特殊按摩服务 |
| [08:17] | I kept trying to crack his back and he kept rolling over and winking at me. | 我努力试图压爆他的背 他就不停地转身对我抛媚眼 |
| [08:22] | -Wow, that’s creepy. -Tell me about it. | -真恶心啊 -怎么说 |
| [08:25] | So you’re gonna see him again? | 那你还会和他碰面吗? |
| [08:28] | Or should I say, are you gonna see him Samoa? | 或许更准确的说 你还要见那个萨摩亚人吗? |
| [08:35] | Oh, come on. That was funny. | 别这样 很好玩啊 |
| [08:36] | Oh, yeah. It’s hilarious. | 对啊 好好笑啊 |
| [08:39] | You know what your problem is? | 你知道你的问题是什么? |
| [08:41] | -You don’t drink enough. -You’re probably right. | -你酒喝的不够多 -或许吧 |
| [08:45] | This is the first time today I’ve had a chance to just sit down and decompress. | 这是我今天第一次有机会坐下来舒缓下压力 |
| [08:52] | -Cheers? -Oh, cheers. | -干杯? -干杯 |
| [08:55] | Oh, that’s good. | 好爽 |
| [08:57] | I keep having this nagging feeling that I forgot something. | 我止不住有种不安感 我好像忘了什么 |
| [09:00] | -lf you forgot it, it wasn’t important. -Yeah, I guess. | -如果你都忘了 估计也不是什么大不了的事 -大概吧 |
| [09:19] | I can’t believe you forgot me. | 真不敢相信你竟然把我忘了 |
| [09:22] | I said I’m sorry. | 我说了对不起了 |
| [09:24] | You forgot me. | 你忘了来接我 |
| [09:26] | I know. I feel terrible. | 我知道 我很内疚 |
| [09:28] | How many kids you got? | 你到底有几个小孩啊? |
| [09:32] | -There’s a towel on the floor, buddy. -I’m okay. | -地板上有块毛巾 小子 -我没事啦 |
| [09:35] | I want you to sit on it so you don’t leave a wet ass-print on my leather seats. | 很好 但我想让你把它垫在湿屁屁下 省的弄脏我的皮椅子 |
| [09:40] | You forgot me too. | 你也忘了来接我 |
| [09:42] | Yeah, but I’m just your uncle. | 话是没错 不过我只是你的大伯 |
| [09:43] | He’s your father. | 他可是你老爸 |
| [09:45] | Yeah, my own father. | 是啊 我亲生父亲 |
| [09:47] | Thanks, Charlie. | 多谢你了 查理 |
| [09:48] | Is there any way I can make it up to you? | 我怎样才能弥补过错呢? |
| [09:50] | -You wanna go out for a special dinner? -No. | -想出去吃顿好的吗? -不要 |
| [09:54] | -How about a movie? -Why? | -看电影呢? -干什么? |
| [09:55] | You’re gonna leave me there too? | 你想把我再丢一次? |
| [09:58] | For the last time, I am sorry. | 我再说最后一次 对不起 |
| [10:02] | Won’t be the last time. | 肯定不会是最后一次 |
| [10:04] | I just wanna go home. I’m cold and I’m wet. | 我又冷又湿只想回家 |
| [10:06] | If you kick the back of my seat again, you’re gonna be colder and wetter. | 如果你再用脏钉子鞋踢我后座的话 会更冷更湿 |
| [10:12] | Ease up on him. He’s had a rough day. | 别这样 他今天很不开心 |
| [10:14] | Yeah, my dad left me out in the rain. | 没错 我爸把我丢在雨里 |
| [10:17] | I’m sorry. | 对不起啦 |
| [10:20] | What did I tell you? | 我说什么来着? |
| [10:24] | What’s all this stuff on the floor? | 车地板上有什么东西? |
| [10:25] | I don’t know. Junk mail. Parking tickets. | 不知道 垃圾邮件 停车罚单 |
| [10:29] | -What’s this? -Satin blindfold. | -这是什么? -眼罩啊 |
| [10:33] | -For what? -What do you mean, “For what”? | -干嘛用的? -什么叫干嘛用的? |
| [10:35] | In case I run into… | 以防我碰到… |
| [10:39] | …a piñata. | …大肥婆 |
| [10:42] | -You’re unbelievable. -Don’t judge. | -真不敢相信 -别乱评断人 |
| [10:44] | You felt up a Samoan dude. | 你还被萨摩亚人侵犯了呢 |
| [10:48] | Hey, this is for me. From the IRS. | 这是给我的 国税局寄来的 |
| [10:53] | It was mailed a month ago. | 1个月前就寄来了 |
| [10:57] | Damn post office. | 该死的邮局 |
| [11:00] | Oh, perfect. | 完美 |
| [11:02] | -Just freaking perfect. -Good news? | -太他娘的完美了 -好消息? |
| [11:07] | I’m being audited. | 他们要来找我核帐 |
| [11:09] | They wanna see me tomorrow. | 明天就想见我 |
| [11:11] | Oh, well, look at the upside. | 往好的一面看嘛 |
| [11:13] | What upside? | 哪有什么好的一面? |
| [11:16] | Yeah, okay, you got me. | 好吧 算我输了 |
| [11:19] | How could you forget to give this to me? | 你怎么可以忘记把这个给我? |
| [11:21] | I don’t know. How could you forget your only son in the rain? | 我哪知道 你又怎么能把你独子忘在雨里? |
| [11:25] | -Yeah. -Yeah. Watch the cleats. | -对啊 -对啊 小心钉子鞋 |
| [11:34] | Let’s go, sleepyhead. Rise and shine, up and at ’em. | 快起来 大懒虫 太阳晒屁股啦 |
| [11:38] | Get out of my room or I’ll kill you with my bare hands. | 离开我房间 要不我就徒手宰了你 |
| [11:42] | I’m being audited today. You have to take Jake to school. | 别这样 今天有人来查我帐 你得送杰克去学校 |
| [11:45] | Put him in a cab. | 帮他叫辆出租吧 |
| [11:47] | Oh, please. I am counting on you. | 拜托 我全指望你了 |
| [11:50] | Then you’re headed for disappointment. | 那你可得失望了 |
| [11:53] | You need to get Jake dressed, make him his lunch… | 你得给杰克穿衣服 给他做好午饭… |
| [11:56] | …and get him to school by 8, okay? -Okay. | …保证他8点能到学校好吗? -好吧 |
| [12:00] | -You’re not moving. -Yes, I am. | -你根本没动 -没有 我在动了 |
| [12:02] | I’m flipping you off under the covers. | 我正在床单下幻想把你踢倒呢 |
| [12:07] | Get up! | 起来! |
| [12:11] | All right, I’m up. | 好啦 我起来就是了 |
| [12:13] | So you know what to do with Jake? | 你知道要为杰克做些什么了吧? |
| [12:16] | You have to be responsible. You have to be me today. | 你必须担起责任来 今天你得扮演我的角色 |
| [12:18] | -Think you can handle that? -You left him out in the rain yesterday. | -没问题吧? -你昨天把他忘在雨里 |
| [12:22] | It’s not like you set the bar real high. | 这榜样也不怎么地啊 |
| [12:25] | -Charlie. -Relax. | -查理 -放心啦 |
| [12:26] | I think I’m capable of getting your kid to school. | 送你儿子去学校的能力我还是有的 |
| [12:29] | Good, because I really need your help. | 很好 因为我真的很需要你的帮助 |
| [12:32] | So… So I’m gonna leave now. | 那么 我现在走了 |
| [12:38] | You’re all set, right? | 你没问题的 对吧? |
| [12:40] | Charlie? | 查理? |
| [12:51] | Get up! | 起来! |
| [12:59] | Get dressed. I’m taking you to school. | 快换衣服 我要送你去学校 |
| [13:01] | I can’t. I’m sick. | 我去不了了 我病了 |
| [13:04] | Yeah, well, bite me. | 是啊 是啊 别废话了 |
| [13:07] | -Hey. -Don’t… Don’t screw with me, shorty. | -Hey. -别和我耍花样 |
| [13:09] | I only got, like, nine hours of sleep last night. | 我昨晚只睡了9小时 |
| [13:14] | -Now get dressed. -I’m supposed to take a shower first. | -先换衣服 -我一般先洗澡的 |
| [13:20] | Sit near a window. | 靠窗坐吧 |
| [13:25] | -Here, put these on. -I wore these yesterday. | -换上它们 -我昨天就穿的这些 |
| [13:29] | They’re still extremely stylish. Put them on. | 但它们还是很时髦 穿上吧 |
| [13:33] | -Can I have some privacy, please? -For what? You’re 11. | -你能尊重我的隐私回避一下吗? -为什么? 你才11岁而已 |
| [13:37] | That’s close to puberty. | 离青春期不远了 |
| [13:40] | Okay, okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [13:44] | I’m leaving. | 我这就走 |
| [13:51] | What am I, nuts? | 我脑壳坏了? |
| [14:05] | Get up! | 起来! |
| [14:10] | I could have dressed myself, you know. | 你要知道我可以自己穿衣服的 |
| [14:12] | You had your chance. | 给过你机会了 |
| [14:15] | I look stupid. | 我看上去好蠢啊 |
| [14:18] | Yeah, well, you’re close to puberty. | 对啊 你离青春期不远了 |
| [14:21] | Oh, I forgot to comb my hair. | 我忘记梳头了 |
| [14:22] | No, no, no. I’ll do it. | 不 不 不 我帮你 |
| [14:27] | That’s spit. | 那是口水哎 |
| [14:28] | Hey, one man’s saliva is another man’s mousse. Now shut up. | 己之唾液彼之摩丝 闭嘴吧你 |
| [14:33] | There, you’re beautiful. Let’s go. | 你好靓仔 我们走吧 |
| [14:35] | -What about lunch? -Sorry, I have plans. | -午饭呢? -对不起我另有计划了 |
| [14:39] | No, you’re supposed to make me lunch. | 不是 你应该给我做午饭 |
| [14:42] | Oh, all right, come on. | 哦 对了 来吧 |
| [14:46] | You’re not really a morning person, are you? | 你不喜欢早起 对吧? |
| [14:49] | You’re just saying that because I spit on your head. | 你这么说是因为我把口水抹你脑袋上了 |
| [14:54] | -You like cold pizza, right? -Sure. | -你喜欢冷匹萨对吧? -必须地 |
| [15:03] | -This is frozen. -Yeah. If you sit on it… | -这是冻披萨 -是啊 如果你坐在上面… |
| [15:05] | …it’ll thaw by lunch. | …等到午饭时就该融化的差不多了 |
| [15:11] | My butt is freezing. | 我屁股要冻僵了 |
| [15:16] | You wanted pizza. | 你说想吃披萨的 |
| [15:19] | All right, I’ll put the seat warmer on. | 好吧 我把座椅取暖打开 |
| [15:22] | Cook it from both sides. | 两面一起加热 |
| [15:24] | -I like it better when my dad takes me. -Oh, gee, you’re not having fun? | -我更想让我爸送我上学 -你觉得不够好玩吗? |
| [15:28] | Because I’m farting rainbows over here. | 我可爽弊了 |
| [15:31] | First, he forgets me. Now he leaves me with you. | 他先把我给忘了 现在又把我丢给你 |
| [15:34] | Hey, you know what? | 你知道吗? |
| [15:36] | Your father works like a dog to make sure you have everything. | 你老爸没日没夜的干活 就是为了能保证满足你的所需 |
| [15:39] | If he’s not there for you… | 如果有一时他没陪在你身边… |
| [15:41] | …it’s just because he’s trying to stay out of federal prison. | …只是因为他正为不要坐牢而努力 |
| [15:48] | I think he needs to have sex. | 我觉得他需要的是性生活 |
| [15:52] | I was kidding about prison, Jake. | 我说坐牢是开玩笑的 杰克 |
| [15:56] | What do you mean he needs to have sex? | 你说他需要性生活是什么意思? |
| [15:58] | Well, he’s been really grumpy lately. | 他最近脾气真的很差 |
| [16:00] | You’re usually in a good mood. I figure it’s because you have sex. | 而你却总是心情很好 我想这多半是因为你有性生活的缘故 |
| [16:05] | Jake, it takes more than sex to make a man happy. | 杰克 想让男人开心不止需要性生活 |
| [16:10] | You also need money. | 你还得有钱 |
| [16:16] | All right, have a good day. | 好啦 希望你一天顺利 |
| [16:18] | -Learn something. -This isn’t my school. | -多学点 -这不是我学校 |
| [16:21] | -What do you mean? -I mean, I don’t go to school here. | -什么意思? -意思是说我不在这上学 |
| [16:26] | Well, where do you go to school? | 那你去哪上学? |
| [16:28] | Woodward Avenue Elementary. | 沃德沃路小学 |
| [16:31] | -And where the hell is that? -Woodward Avenue, I guess. | -在什么鬼地方? -我想 在沃德沃路上吧? |
| [16:36] | I don’t know why you can’t tough it out here for one day. | 我不懂为什么你不能在这撑一天呢 |
| [16:40] | Make some new friends. | 结识些新朋友 |
| [16:43] | Hey, Alan, it’s Charlie. | 是艾伦吗 我是查理 |
| [16:45] | Look, I wanna ask you something but I don’t want you to read anything into it. | 我想问你点事 但请不要发怒 |
| [16:49] | Where exactly is Jake’s school? | 杰克的学校在哪里啊? |
| [16:51] | You don ‘t know where his school is? | 你竟然不知道杰克学校在哪? |
| [16:54] | What the hell is wrong with you? | 你他妈怎么回事? |
| [16:56] | -Are you trying to kill me? -You could be right about the sex thing. | -你想杀了我吗? -他需要性生活 你说对了 |
| [17:02] | Okay, Woodward Avenue Elementary School. | 沃德沃路小学到了 |
| [17:05] | Looks like they’re closed. | 好像关门了嘛 |
| [17:07] | That’s because I’m an hour late. Even the crossing guard is gone. | 因为我都迟到1小时了 连交通协管员都走了 |
| [17:13] | How about this? Why don’t you just bag school and we’ll go catch a movie. | 这样如何? 索性跷课去看电影怎么样 |
| [17:18] | -I can’t skip school. I’m in the play. -What play? | -不行啊 我要演戏的 -什么戏? |
| [17:21] | The founding fathers’ play. You’ll be there, right? | 关于国父的戏 你会来的对吧? |
| [17:24] | Why would I be there? | 我干吗要来? |
| [17:26] | Because Mom’s in Hawaii and Dad’s got that tax thing and you’re all that’s left. | 因为老妈远在夏威夷 老爸又要弄税 就剩你了 |
| [17:32] | Oh, I’m all that’s left. | 哦 就剩我了 |
| [17:34] | Hey, I’m not thrilled about it either. | 我对这也很不爽 |
| [17:38] | Okay. Where and when? | 好吧 何时何地? |
| [17:40] | In the auditorium after lunch. | 午饭后在大礼堂 |
| [17:42] | Oh, yeah. I need a Ben Franklin costume. | 对了 我要买富兰克林的戏服 |
| [17:45] | You’re telling me this now? | 你现在才说? |
| [17:46] | I told Mom but she’s in Hawaii. | 我告诉过老妈了 不过她在夏威夷 |
| [17:50] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [17:52] | Let’s see. Washington, Jackson, Lincoln. | 我想想 华盛顿 杰克逊 林肯 |
| [17:55] | Here we go. Benjamin Franklin. | 有了 本杰明·富兰克林 |
| [17:58] | Why can’t you be Lincoln? | 为什么你不演林肯呢? |
| [18:01] | A beard, a mole, a top hat, we’re done. | 大胡子 有颗痣 戴顶高帽 简单多了 |
| [18:04] | Because Lincoln wasn’t a founding father. | 因为林肯不算国父之一 |
| [18:08] | Okay, I’ll see what I can do. | 好吧 我尽量想办法吧 |
| [18:10] | Now get out of here. | 下车吧 |
| [18:15] | Hey. Hey. | |
| [18:19] | You forgot your lunch. | 你忘带午饭了 |
| [18:21] | Hey. Hey. | |
| [18:29] | God, what a day. | 老天啊 真郁闷的一天 |
| [18:33] | You know why I was being audited? | 知道为什么我被查帐? |
| [18:36] | Not because I have unsubstantiated deductions. Which I have. | 不是因为我有无根据的减税额 虽然我的确有 |
| [18:41] | Not because I take the occasional cash payment from a client… | 也不是因为我收取客户给的现金… |
| [18:44] | …and forget to report it. Which I do. | …而没有上报 虽然我的确收过 |
| [18:47] | It was because no one at the IRS… | 是因为国税局里没人相信… |
| [18:49] | …could believe I was paying as much alimony as I claimed. | …我真会付那么多的赡养费 |
| [18:55] | It took me three hours to convince them that, yes… | 我花了3小时费尽唇舌 让他们相信 是的… |
| [18:58] | …I am that big a schmuck. | …我就是那个冤大头 |
| [19:01] | Oh, boo-hoo. | 可怜可悲可叹 |
| [19:05] | You want a real fun time? | 你想要找乐子吗? |
| [19:07] | Try finding an extra small Ben Franklin costume… | 试着在早上9点去找件… |
| [19:10] | …at 9:00 in the morning. | …富兰克林的儿童戏服装 |
| [19:13] | Oh, right. The play. How was it? | 对哦 那戏怎么样了? |
| [19:17] | Boffo. A smash. | 精彩啊 |
| [19:21] | Among the highlights were a 12-year-old Chinese George Washington… | 在强光下一名12岁中国乔治·华盛顿… |
| [19:24] | …with a powdered wig and a snot bubble… | …头戴粉状假发 挂着鼻涕… |
| [19:28] | …and your kid in a bald cap and granny glasses… | …而你的儿子带着头套 架着老奶奶才用的眼镜… |
| [19:31] | …holding a Tweety Bird kite and announcing he’s discovered elasticity. | …手持一个翠儿风筝 声称他发现了弹力 |
| [19:36] | -Oh, I wish I’d seen it. -Don’t worry, you will. | -真希望我能去看 -别担心你会看到的 |
| [19:39] | It was videotaped from about 150 different angles. | 这戏从150个不同角度被录了下来 |
| [19:42] | I should tell him I’m sorry I wasn’t there. | 我该对他说声 很抱歉我没能去看 |
| [19:44] | -Yeah, you should. -Is he in his room? | -没错 你该去说 -他在他房里吗? |
| [20:17] | Here you go, pal. Your favorite. | 来啦 小家伙 你的最爱 |
| [20:20] | Bacon double cheeseburger and cheese fries. | 双吉汉堡和辣味奶酪炸薯条 |
| [20:22] | And for dessert, I got fudge brownies with that ice cream you like. | 甜点是你喜欢的 夹有巧克力小蛋糕的冰激凌 |
| [20:25] | Is this supposed to make up for everything? | 这是在补偿一切损失吗? |
| [20:30] | -Yeah. -Pretty much. | -对啊 -差不多吧 |
| [20:32] | Look, Jake, I know it’s been rough and I’m sorry. | 杰克 我知道你不好受 对不起 |
| [20:36] | We’re human, we make mistakes. But I promise you… | 我们只是凡人 凡人都会犯错 但我向你发誓… |
| [20:38] | …neither of us will ever, ever forget to pick you up again. | …我们俩都绝对绝对 不会再忘记接你了 |
| [20:42] | Yeah, I still wanna go back to Mom’s. | 是啊 可我还是想回我妈那 |
| [20:45] | When is she coming home from Hawaii, anyway? | 她到底什么时候从夏威夷回来? |
| [20:51] | Oh, crap. | 惨了 |