| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Here. This is for you. | 这个 送给你的 |
| [00:09] | Thank you. | 多谢 |
| [00:11] | And I didn’t get you anything. | 不过我囊中羞涩 没什么好送你的 |
| [00:15] | It’s your kid’s toilet seat. | 这是你家小孩的马桶座 |
| [00:16] | It’s obviously in his way, and I’m tired of cleaning it. | 他尿得上面全是 恶心得我已经不想再洗了 |
| [00:20] | Oh, come on, Berta. | 拜托 波塔 |
| [00:22] | – He’s 11. – He’s a pig. | -他才十一岁 -他是头猪 |
| [00:24] | I’ll talk to him. | 我会找他谈的 |
| [00:26] | While you’re at it, you may wanna mention… | 那你也顺便提一下他玩具箱里 |
| [00:28] | the half-eaten egg salad sandwiches in his toy chest… | 吃了一半的鸡蛋三明治 |
| [00:31] | the dead marine life at the back of the closet… | 柜子里死掉的海军陆战队玩具小人 |
| [00:33] | and the booger collection under the bed. | 还有他收藏在床底下的一大坨鼻屎 |
| [00:35] | I’ll do my best to address your concerns. | 我会尽我所能转达你的意见 |
| [00:37] | Don’t condescend to me, Zippy. I’ll snap you like a butter bean. | 别用这种口气跟我说话 小心我把你像根豆芽菜一样拧断 |
| [00:42] | Excuse me. Is one of you Alan? | 打扰一下 你们中有人叫艾伦吗 |
| [00:51] | I’m Alan. | 我就是艾伦 |
| [00:53] | Oh, good. Charlie wants you to come upstairs. | 好极了 查理要你上楼来一下 |
| [00:56] | – Why? – Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. | -干啥 -这个…有点难解释 |
| [01:00] | – Try. – Oh, yeah, try. | -试试看 -是啊是啊 试试看 |
| [01:03] | Well, he’s kind of stuck. | 他有点被困住了 |
| [01:08] | – In what? – In what? | -困在什么里了 -困在什么里了 |
| [01:10] | Not in anything, just stuck. | 不是在什么里面 就是困住了 |
| [01:14] | Would you hurry? | 能不能快点 |
| [01:19] | – Where are you going? – Oh, like I’m gonna miss this? | -你来干嘛 -你以为我会错过这场好戏? |
| [01:27] | Charlie? Are you okay? | 查理 你没事吧? |
| [01:30] | Do I look okay? | 难道我看上去像没事吗 |
| [01:33] | – What happened? – I pulled my back. | -怎么回事? -我腰扭了 |
| [01:38] | I didn’t do anything. I was lying there and he started screaming. | 我啥也没做 我只是躺在那里 然后他就开始嚎叫了 |
| [01:41] | – I understand. – I mean, I wasn’t just lying there. | -我完全理解 -不过 我可没只是躺在那儿 |
| [01:45] | – I got it. – Damn, I wish I had a camera. | -我懂我懂 -好可惜 要是有个照相机就好了 |
| [01:48] | That’s okay. It’s all on video. | 没事 那边就正在拍录像 |
| [02:04] | Alan, you’re a chiropractor. Do something. | 艾伦 你是个指压按摩师 快做点什么 |
| [02:07] | Really? You want my help? | 这样啊? 你开始需要我的帮助了? |
| [02:10] | Even after you referred to my profession as, what was it… | 我记得你才形容过我的职业 是什么来着… |
| [02:13] | “urban voodoo”? | “江湖郎中”? |
| [02:15] | I’m sorry. Now help me. | 我错了 快帮帮忙 |
| [02:18] | Okay. Okay. We’ll see what we can do. | 好 好 我将尽我所能 |
| [02:25] | Yeah, yeah, okay, very funny, very funny. | 是啊是啊 真好笑 真好笑 |
| [02:27] | Hold on. Berta, I’m gonna need a dead rooster. | 你等一下 波塔 我需要一只死公鸡来施展法术 |
| [02:30] | Check your kid’s room. | 到你小孩房间里去找 |
| [02:33] | Excuse me, Charlie, sorry you’re not feeling well, but I have an audition. | 对不起 查理 我知道你不好受 但我有个试镜得走了 |
| [02:36] | – Go. – It’s a Wheat Thins commercial. | -去吧 -是个无糖麦片的广告 |
| [02:40] | – I’m an actress. – Of course you are. | -我是个演员 -我自然知道 |
| [02:44] | I had a nice time, Charlie. | 我感到很愉快 查理 |
| [02:46] | – I’ll call you. – Great. | -我会打给你的 -好的 |
| [02:47] | Oh, if you find my tongue stud, let me know. | 如果你找到我的舌环告诉我一下 |
| [02:52] | Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here. | 来 让我检查下你什么情况 |
| [02:55] | – Is this tender? – A little. | -这样疼不疼? -有点疼 |
| [02:58] | – On a scale of one to ten? – I don’t know. Three? | -从一到十 这样算几? -大概三吧 |
| [03:01] | – Okay, what about this? – Four. | -这样呢 -四吧 |
| [03:04] | And what about this? | 这样呢 |
| [03:08] | I’m gonna need a number, Charlie. | 别乱叫 给我个数字 |
| [03:11] | No, no, I changed my mind. Leave me alone. | 算了算了 我改主意了 你别管我了 |
| [03:14] | Oh, don’t be a baby. | 别像个小孩一样 |
| [03:16] | – Stay away. – I have to examine you. | -离我远点 -我得检查你一下 |
| [03:18] | – It’s okay. I’m better. – No, you’re not. | -我好多了 别管我 -你没有 |
| [03:21] | – Now, stop moving. – Really, I’m fine. Just don’t… | -现在别乱动了 -我真的没事了 别… |
| [03:26] | Ten. Ten. That’s a ten. | 十 十 现在是十了 |
| [03:31] | – Are you happy? – Do I look happy? | -你开心了? -我看上去像开心吗 |
| [03:34] | Let’s get you back on the bed so I can give you an adjustment. | 上床来 我可以帮你调整位置 |
| [03:37] | No, no, no, no. New plan. | 不要不要 我有个主意 |
| [03:39] | I need someone who can give me drugs. | 我需要点镇痛剂 |
| [03:41] | I’m not holding, but I can make a couple calls. | 我现在手头没有 不过我几个哥们可能有 |
| [03:44] | Drugs just mask the problem. | 镇痛剂只会让问题更复杂 |
| [03:46] | Fine, mask it. Throw a cape on it, and let it fight crime. | 让它更复杂好了 给我镇痛剂 让我和罪恶斗争到底 |
| [03:49] | I just want it to go away. | 我只想不疼而已 |
| [03:51] | Good news. I think I know where Wheat Thins lost her tongue stud. | 好消息 我想我找到那个舌环了 |
| [03:56] | For the love of God. | 我的天啊 |
| [04:03] | Oh, mommy. | 我的妈呀 |
| [04:10] | Feeling better? | 好点了? |
| [04:12] | No, I just passed out for a second. | 没 我刚失去知觉了 |
| [04:17] | Berta, I’m gonna take Charlie to the doctor. | 波塔 我要带他去看医生 |
| [04:19] | – You keep an eye on Jake. – Fine. | -你帮我照顾一下杰克 -好的 |
| [04:22] | Whoa, hey. | 哇塞 |
| [04:23] | And please put his toilet seat back on. | 还有 请把他的马桶坐垫放回去 |
| [04:30] | I really think you should put on your seat belt. | 我觉得你应该把你的安全带系上 |
| [04:33] | Do you now? | 去你妈的 |
| [04:35] | Did you forget it took three of us just to put on my shorts? | 难道你忘了刚才我们 三个人才合力穿上我的裤子吗 |
| [04:39] | Suit yourself. I should call your doctor and tell him we’re coming. | 随你便 应该打个电话给你的医生 通知一声我们来了 |
| [04:43] | – What’s his number? – I don’t know. | -他号码多少? -不知道 |
| [04:46] | All right, I’ll call directory assistance. What’s his name? Where’s he located? | 好吧 那我打给询问台 你医生叫什么名字 哪里的 |
| [04:51] | Dr. Schwartz. Beverly Hills. | 比佛利山的薛医生 |
| [04:54] | – You’re kidding, right? – Do I look like I’m kidding? | -你在开玩笑吧 -我这样子像在开玩笑吗 |
| [04:59] | Well, I need a first name. | 我需要知道他的姓 |
| [05:03] | I remember his receptionist’s name. Julie. | 我记得他的前台小姐的名字 茱莉 |
| [05:07] | Cute redhead with a slight speech impediment. | 好可爱的红头发 但有点语言障碍 |
| [05:10] | She called me “Charlie.” | 她叫我”查尼” |
| [05:15] | I almost asked her out once… | 我差点就泡她了… |
| [05:16] | but I couldn’t face the inevitable phone calls. | 但我想到要接她电话就郁闷 |
| [05:19] | “I love you, Charlie. Don’t leave me.” | “额乃泥 查尼 别离开额” |
| [05:23] | Yeah, yeah, and your doctor’s first name is? | 好吧好吧 那你医生姓什么 |
| [05:29] | Oh, I have no idea. | 呃 完全没印象 |
| [05:31] | Idiot. | 傻叉 |
| [05:35] | Yes, Beverly Hills, California. | 是的 加州比佛利山 |
| [05:37] | Dr. Schwartz. | 薛医生 |
| [05:40] | Yeah, I don’t know the first name. | 我不知道他姓什么 |
| [05:42] | No, I’m not kidding. | 没 我没在开玩笑 |
| [05:46] | There are 128 Dr. Schwartzes in Beverly Hills. | 比佛利山有一百二十八个薛医生 |
| [05:49] | What street is he on? | 他到底在哪条街 |
| [05:51] | Wilshire Boulevard, I think. | 威尔士大道 我猜的 |
| [05:53] | Wilshire Boulevard, we think. | 威尔士大道 我们猜的 |
| [05:56] | Okay, we’re down to 47 Schwartzes. | 我们把范围缩减到四十七个了 |
| [06:00] | Just forget it. Drive down Wilshire. I’ll know the building when I see it. | 别管了 你就沿着威尔士大道开下去 看到那幢楼我就认识了 |
| [06:04] | Never mind, we’re gonna play… | 没事了 我们决定在比佛利山玩 |
| [06:05] | find the Jewish Doctor in Beverly Hills. | “寻找薛医生”的游戏 |
| [06:08] | Wait, wait. There it is. | 到了 就那个 |
| [06:15] | Now, you see, that wouldn’t have happened… | 你看 早知今日 何必当初 |
| [06:17] | if you’d been wearing your seat belt. | 系了安全带这种事就不会发生了 |
| [06:20] | Alan, if I can ever use my legs again… | 艾伦 只要我有生之年 |
| [06:22] | the first thing I’m gonna | 还有机会再用我的腿 |
| [06:24] | do is kick your ass into your throat. | 我要做的第一件事 就是把你的屁股踹到你喉咙里去 |
| [06:35] | That’s not Julie. | 那个不是茱莉 |
| [06:39] | – So? – It’s just important to me that you know. | -所以? -我觉得你有必要知道这事 |
| [06:43] | – Can I help you? – Yeah, I’m Charlie Harper. | -有什么需要帮助的吗 -我是查理·哈勃 |
| [06:46] | – I need to see my doctor. – Do you have an appointment? | -我需要见我的医生 -你有预约吗 |
| [06:49] | No, but this is an emergency. | 没有 但这是急诊 |
| [06:51] | He has to get back to Notre Dame and ring the bell. | 他赶着回里士满敲钟 |
| [06:55] | Oh, I get it. He’s hunched over. That’s funny. | 我明白 他用力过猛了 好好玩哦 |
| [07:01] | Yeah, can I see my doctor, please? | 是是是 我能见我的医生了吗 |
| [07:03] | – Who’s your doctor? – Dr. Schwartz. | -你的医生是谁 -薛医生 |
| [07:05] | – Stanley Schwartz? – Yes, Stanley. | -斯坦利·薛? -我想起来了 叫斯坦利 |
| [07:07] | – It’s Stanley. – Thank you. | -你想起来得真及时 -谢谢 |
| [07:09] | When was the last time you were here? | 你上次来这里是什么时候 |
| [07:12] | I don’t know. A couple of years ago. Why? | 记不清了 几年前吧 有什么关系吗 |
| [07:15] | – Dr. Schwartz passed away. – Oh, no. | -薛医生已经去世了 -哦 真不幸 |
| [07:19] | So where’s Julie? | 那茱莉在哪里 |
| [07:22] | Julie we had to let go. | 我们解雇她了 |
| [07:24] | She was playing a little fast and loose with the old prescription pad. | 她把处方单当儿戏 |
| [07:30] | I’m guessing Valium. | 我会想念她的 |
| [07:34] | Is there somebody else who can see him? | 还有别的医生能看吗 |
| [07:36] | Yeah, but not Dr. Schwartz’s doctor, okay? | 只要不是薛医生的医生就行了 |
| [07:38] | Dr. Talmadge took over Dr. Schwartz’s practice. | 托米医生代替了薛医生的位置 |
| [07:41] | It’s a little tight right now, but I could squeeze you in. | 她的等候名单上人比较多 不过我可以帮你挤进去 |
| [07:44] | That’s kind of how this happened. | 他就是进不去硬要挤 才成现在这德行 |
| [07:47] | Oh, my. So this was a sexual injury. | 哦 原来这个是性爱伤病 |
| [07:54] | Well, thank goodness you’re okay. | 还好你没事 |
| [08:07] | This is really gross. Why do I have to do it? | 好恶心 凭什么要我干这个 |
| [08:10] | – You want your toilet seat back? – Yes. | -你想要回你的马桶坐垫吗 -当然 |
| [08:12] | Then keep scrubbing. | 那就继续刷 |
| [08:15] | You know, taking it wasn’t funny. I could have broke my butt. | 拿走马桶坐垫可一点都不好玩 差点把我整成肛裂 |
| [08:19] | Oh, come on. How could that not be funny? | 哈 那才叫好玩 |
| [08:23] | Don’t forget to clean on the outside. That’s all you. | 外侧你也要刷 那也都是你尿的 |
| [08:27] | – And the floor, and the wall. – Okay, okay. | -还有地板上和墙上 -知道了知道了 |
| [08:31] | How in the hell did you hit the wall anyway? | 我就纳闷 你怎么有本事尿到墙上的 |
| [08:34] | I don’t know, it just gets away from me sometimes. | 我也不清楚 即兴创作而已 |
| [08:38] | After a day scrubbing toilets… | 经过一天刷马桶的锻炼… |
| [08:40] | I’m betting you’ll be able to pee through a Cheerio at 10 paces. | 我保证你能够在十步之外 就射倒一辆古罗马战车 |
| [08:45] | Oh, God. | 我的老天 |
| [08:47] | Oh, jeez. | 哦 天那 |
| [08:50] | Hey, guess what. | 看这个 |
| [08:51] | The Soviet Union is boycotting the Olympics. | 苏联拒绝参加奥林匹克运动会 |
| [09:00] | My pain is just a big joke to you, isn’t it? | 我的痛苦正好让你幸灾乐祸是不是 |
| [09:03] | I offered to help you, Charlie, and you refused, so… | 我向你提供了帮助 但你拒绝了 所以… |
| [09:06] | yeah. | 是的 |
| [09:08] | I’ll tell you, if you came to me as a patient in this much pain… | 但我可以保证 如果你是我的病人而又如此痛苦 |
| [09:12] | I wouldn’t make you wait. I’d see you right away. | 我不会让你一直这么等 我会立刻给你看病 |
| [09:15] | So would my dry cleaner, but I don’t let him touch me either. | 我的干洗机也不会让我等 但我同样也不会让它碰我 |
| [09:18] | I could help you, Charlie. | 我本可以帮你的 查理 |
| [09:20] | I’ve already isolated the source of your discomfort. | 我已经诊断出了你的病源所在 |
| [09:22] | All that’s left would be to realign your vertebrae… | 剩下的只是 |
| [09:25] | through a gentle series of manipulations and stretches… | 一点点按摩和拉伸 |
| [09:28] | thereby alleviating your pain. | 就能舒缓你的疼痛 |
| [09:32] | Well, you didn’t explain it like that. That’s different. | 听你这么一解释 好像还不错的样子 |
| [09:35] | – So you’ll let me work on you? – Not in a million years. | -怎么样 要不要现在试试? -一百万年后你也休想 |
| [09:39] | Fine. Worship at the altar of the American Medical Association. | 随你便 美国人对医疗组织敬若神明 |
| [09:43] | Swallow the pharmaceutical companies’ propaganda. | 对什么诊断都轻信无疑 |
| [09:45] | I’ll swallow it, I’ll sniff it, I’ll insert it rectally. | 让我吃也好 闻也行 要杀要剐都可以 |
| [09:51] | Anything to kill the pain. I’m dying here. | 只要能帮我消除疼痛 我要疼死在这里了 |
| [09:54] | Mr. Harper, I’m Dr. Talmadge. | 哈勃先生 我是托米医生 |
| [09:56] | Hello, doctor. | 你好 |
| [10:01] | Hallelujah. It’s a miracle. | 哇 世界奇迹出现了 |
| [10:09] | So I see you’re having some back pain. | 你的背疼是吧 |
| [10:11] | That will be $ 100, please. | 那就请交一百块钱 |
| [10:16] | Yeah, it started in my back… | 从背部开始 |
| [10:18] | but now it’s kind of radiating out into a body-wide unbearable agony. | 但现在已经开始蔓延到全身都疼了 |
| [10:22] | You have a really cute little nose, you know that? | 你的鼻子好可爱 有人告诉过你这个吗 |
| [10:26] | – Did the pain start in your lower back? – Best I can tell… | -疼痛是从背部下面开始的吗 -依我拙见… |
| [10:29] | it’s a spasm between L4 and L5. | 那是五级的肌肉性损伤 |
| [10:31] | – Oh, are you a doctor? – Yes, I’m a chiropractor. | -你是个医生吗? -我是指压按摩师 |
| [10:34] | So no. | 不是医生就少废话 |
| [10:38] | How did this happen? | 怎么弄成这样的 |
| [10:40] | Well, I slipped. | 呃 我滑倒了 |
| [10:42] | On an actress. | 摔到一个女演员身上了 |
| [10:45] | I can handle this, Alan. | 我知道怎么回答 艾伦 |
| [10:47] | Okay, see, the thing is, I was in the middle of… | 事情是这样的 我当时在那个里面 |
| [10:50] | An actress. | 一个女演员里面 |
| [10:52] | I’m warning you. | 我警告你 |
| [10:54] | – Do the details really matter? – No, no, I think I got the picture. | -细节很重要吗? -没有 但我大概知道怎么回事了 |
| [10:57] | There’s video if you need it. | 欲知详情 我还有录像 |
| [11:01] | Keep it up. | 你再来一次试试 |
| [11:03] | Okay, I see here your last visit was four years ago. | 根据纪录 你上一次来是四年前 |
| [11:05] | A mild hernia brought about by… | 因…引起”轻度疝气” |
| [11:07] | Okay. I think I’m seeing a pattern here. | 我已经看出规律了 |
| [11:11] | He’s a sexual compulsive with narcissistic tendencies. | 他非常自恋且有性强迫倾向 |
| [11:14] | Oh, so you’re a pretend psychiatrist too. | 原来你还是心理医师 |
| [11:20] | So, what’s the course of treatment here? | 那到底应该怎么治疗 |
| [11:22] | A pill, a shot? Maybe one of those epidurals? | 吃药? 打针? 还是做手术? |
| [11:25] | First I’m going to get your blood pressure and take x-rays. | 我先要给你量血压拍X光片 |
| [11:28] | – I take blood pressure and x-rays. – Your mother must be very proud. | -我会量血压拍X光片 -你妈一定为你骄傲死了 |
| [11:32] | Actually, no. | 其实不然 |
| [11:35] | Someone will be in to take you to x-ray. | 过会儿会有人来帮你拍X光片 |
| [11:37] | Wait. I’m still in pain. | 等一下 可是我现在很疼啊 |
| [11:39] | Try and hang in there. In the meantime… | 挺住 也许… |
| [11:41] | maybe your little buddy can give you a massage. | 你这位哥们可以给你来点按摩 |
| [11:47] | – Can you believe her? – Yeah, she is something else. | -居然有这种女人 难以置信 – 她的确与众不同 |
| [11:51] | Please don’t tell me you’re interested in that condescending… | 拜托 查理 你不会连那个 自高自大 |
| [11:54] | arrogant excuse for a woman. | 目中无人的女人也想搞吧 |
| [11:56] | Pardon me, Alan, but that is a condescending… | 请注意你的措辞 她是个 自高自大 |
| [11:58] | arrogant, hot excuse for a woman. | 目中无人的”性感女人” |
| [12:01] | She’s just your typical obnoxious MD. | 她就是个典型的自大的医学博士 |
| [12:04] | I’m a doctor. I have special license plates. | 我是医生 我有专业执照 |
| [12:07] | I can park wherever I want. | 我想在哪停车就在哪停车 |
| [12:10] | I know where I wanna park. | 我会让她停车的 |
| [12:13] | You’re unbelievable. Does your penis have an off switch? | 你简直没救了 你那话儿就没个开关吗 |
| [12:17] | A pause button? | 或者暂停键 |
| [12:19] | No, just a little freckle. | 没 就有点雀斑而已 |
| [12:22] | You’re always telling me I should date a better class of woman. | 而且你总提醒我 让我搞个高层次的女人 |
| [12:25] | What’s classier than a doctor? | 还有什么能比医生的层次更高 |
| [12:27] | Oh, please. Four years of med school, two years of internship… | 拜托 四年医学院 两年实习 |
| [12:31] | a year of residency, and everybody thinks they’re so special. | 再加一年工作 然后大家就觉得医生有多特别 |
| [12:35] | But I’ll tell you something. A new day is dawning. | 但我要告诉你 新时代已经到来 |
| [12:37] | A day of reckoning. And it is spelled HMO. | 众所周知 它就叫做HMO |
| [12:43] | No more country clubs. No more Cadillacs. | 俱乐部资格就飞啦 凯迪拉克也飞啦 |
| [12:46] | Just sky-high insurance premiums and low, slow, copay reimbursements. | 剩下的只是高得要死的保险费 还有又少又慢的政府津贴 |
| [12:51] | Just like the rest of us. | 就和我们这些老百姓一样 |
| [12:55] | I’ll bet she knows a lot of secret anatomy stuff. | 我敢打赌她知道人体结构的诸多秘密 |
| [12:59] | You know, places you touch and the top of your head flies off. | 就是那些你一摸就爽到不行的地方 |
| [13:04] | If you have sex with a doctor, there’s a chance they’ll split… | 如果跟个医生上床的话 也许会遇到夜里 |
| [13:08] | in the middle of the night for an emergency. | 她得接紧急电话的情况 |
| [13:10] | Well, that’s just a price you’ll have to pay. | 那就是你要为此付出的代价 |
| [13:12] | No, no. That works for me. | 没关系 其实我不介意 |
| [13:17] | Okay, I finished the toilet, the shower. | 我已经把马桶 淋浴间 |
| [13:20] | – And the sink. – What took you so long? | -洗脸池都清洗过了 -怎么弄这么久 |
| [13:23] | I went to the bathroom, and I had to start over. | 我又上了一次厕所 所以只好重新弄一遍 |
| [13:28] | Take these, and get started on the kitchen floor. | 拿上 现在打扫厨房地板 |
| [13:30] | Why? I didn’t pee in here. | 凭啥 我又没在这里尿尿 |
| [13:34] | Okay, once, but it was in the sink. | 好吧 其实有一次 但那也是在洗手池里 |
| [13:38] | The sink? How’d you manage that? | 洗手池? 你怎么想的啊 |
| [13:40] | It’s not that hard. You just gotta drink a lot of root beer, lean back… | 其实也不是很难 你只要多喝点啤酒 身体往后倾斜 |
| [13:44] | and figure the angle. | 调整角度 然后发射 |
| [13:50] | So tell me about Dr. Talmadge. | 跟我讲讲托米医生 |
| [13:52] | – Is she seeing anybody? – Yes. | -她有跟谁约会吗? -有 |
| [13:55] | – Is it serious? – Dog bite. | -当真的吗? -露水情缘而已 |
| [13:59] | – No, I mean… – Charlie, give it a rest. | -我是说… -查理你能不能歇歇? |
| [14:02] | What? | 为啥 |
| [14:03] | You’re sitting here in pain because of a casual sexual encounter… | 你万分痛苦地坐在这里 正是由于跟个女的乱搞 |
| [14:07] | and now you’re trying to drum up another one. | 而现在 你又在想着去搞另一个 |
| [14:10] | – Yeah, so? – Don’t you get it? | -有道理 所以? -你学不乖吗 |
| [14:14] | Your entire life is about jumping… | 你终其一生只是 |
| [14:16] | from one shallow, meaningless relationship to the next. | 不停地寻花问柳 |
| [14:19] | And? | 还有呢 |
| [14:21] | You’re a grown man. You can’t go through life… | 你长大了 你不能一生 |
| [14:24] | drinking and partying and humping anything that doesn’t shake you off. | 都骄奢淫逸无所事事 |
| [14:28] | Yes, I can. | 有什么不可以的 |
| [14:31] | But sooner or later, it’s gonna catch up to you. | 早晚你会遭天谴的 |
| [14:33] | Eventually, you will have to pay the piper. | 你始终会付出代价的 |
| [14:35] | – Who says? – Everybody says. | -谁说的? -大家都那么说 |
| [14:37] | Really? Because I’m just hearing you. | 但我好像只听见你一个人这么说 |
| [14:40] | If 2000 years of human history has taught us anything… | 在人类两千年的历史里 如果我们能学到点什么 |
| [14:44] | it’s that there is karmic justice in the world… | 那就是善有善报恶有恶报 |
| [14:46] | and that when people live the way you do… | 过你这样生活的人 |
| [14:49] | bad things happen to them to even things out. | 总是会受到惩罚 |
| [14:51] | Well, I don’t agree. | 哦 我可不这么认为 |
| [14:54] | It’s not up for debate. | 这是毋庸置疑的 |
| [14:56] | It’s a law, like gravity. | 这是自然法则 就像万有引力一样 |
| [14:59] | Oh, I agree with gravity. | 我赞同万有引力 |
| [15:01] | Good, we wouldn’t want you flying off the planet… | 你也不想让自己就这么飘出去 |
| [15:03] | with nothing to hump but satellites. | 除了卫星连个能上的东西都没有 |
| [15:05] | If it makes you feel better, something bad happened. | 你是不是一定要看我倒霉才觉得爽 |
| [15:08] | – I’m in excruciating pain. – That’s not enough. | -我现在已经疼得要死要活了 -这还不算什么呢 |
| [15:11] | Trust me, Charlie. The piper has yet to be paid. | 相信我 查理 你迟早会付出代价的 |
| [15:14] | The only question is how high a tab you want before the bill comes due. | 唯一的问题只是 你到底想让自己付出多大的代价 |
| [15:19] | Okay. I get it. | 好吧 我懂了 |
| [15:22] | Well, good. | 这还差不多 |
| [15:24] | So you think I have a shot with that doctor, or what? | 那你觉得我应该怎么泡那个医生 |
| [15:30] | It’s like trying to talk Shakespeare to a Hershey bar. | 这简直是对牛弹琴 |
| [15:38] | Who’s Piper? | 谁是管子?[前文用来比喻报应] |
| [15:43] | Oh, you poor, clueless bitch. Never trust a drifter with an eye patch. | 哦 你个蠢女人 永远别轻信你所看到的 |
| [15:49] | – Berta. – What? | -波塔 -什么 |
| [15:51] | I’m tired, and my hands are all red and pruney. | 我累了 我手都红了 |
| [15:54] | I’ve seen your grades. Get used to it. | 我看过你的成绩报告单 你应该已经习惯红色了 |
| [15:58] | How do I know when I’m done? | 什么时候才算弄干净了 |
| [15:59] | Don’t worry about that, honey, I’ll tell you. | 别烦那个神 我会告诉你的 |
| [16:02] | Oh, for God’s sakes, don’t kiss him. He’s your brother. | 老天 别亲他啊 他是你哥哥 |
| [16:07] | – I have x-rays. – Oh, good. Let me see them. | -X光片好了 -给我看看 |
| [16:10] | Oh, golly, no. Only for a doctor. | 不行不行 这个只能给医生看 |
| [16:12] | Hey, I’m a doctor. | 嘿 我就是医生 |
| [16:15] | Oh, yeah? Where you parked? | 哦 是吗 你在哪里停车 |
| [16:21] | Alan, you gotta relax. | 艾伦 放松点 |
| [16:23] | You’re harboring the kind of resentment that eats away at your insides… | 你已经被愤怒冲昏头了 直到有一天你醒来 |
| [16:26] | until you wake up one day peeing blood and crapping into a bag. | 你会发现自己瘫痪在旧床上不能自理 |
| [16:30] | Thanks for the advice. | 多谢提醒 |
| [16:32] | You know the difference between you and me? | 知道我和你之间的区别吗 |
| [16:34] | I have a functioning liver… | 我的肝功能正常 |
| [16:36] | and somehow, you’re gonna get laid tonight. | 可你却能左拥右抱 |
| [16:39] | That’s ridiculous, Alan. She’s an educated professional. | 太荒谬了 她很职业的 |
| [16:42] | Probably gonna have to throw a few fancy meals at her first. | 当然如果是她对我感兴趣 那也不是我的错 |
| [16:45] | Boo-hoo, you’ll have to wait a couple of weeks. | 那你得等几个星期 |
| [16:48] | Couple of weeks? | 几个星期? |
| [16:51] | Anyway, the difference between you and me… | 随便你 告诉你 我和你之间的最大区别就是 |
| [16:54] | is that when life gives me lemons, I make lemonade. | 如果有柠檬 我会做柠檬汁 |
| [16:57] | When you get lemons, you just bite into them… | 而你却只会狠狠咬 |
| [16:59] | and suck them inside out. | 直到榨干它们 |
| [17:03] | Okay. Let’s see what we’ve got. | 好的 来看看你情况怎么样 |
| [17:09] | No fractures, no dislocations. | 没有骨折 没有错位 |
| [17:11] | – Looks like just a simple muscle spasm. – Between L4 and L5? | -只有点肌肉拉伤 -四级到五级之间的拉伤? |
| [17:15] | Oh, good for you. | 真有你的 |
| [17:18] | Okay, I am gonna give you a shot, which should ease the pain… | 我得给你打一针减轻疼痛 |
| [17:21] | and also allow your muscles to relax. | 也可以让你的肌肉放松 |
| [17:23] | Have you had Demerol before? | 你以前有打过吗 |
| [17:25] | No, but I’ve heard nice things about it. | 没有 不过我听说打针很不错 |
| [17:28] | Okay, I’m just gonna pull your shorts down a little. | 我要把你的内裤拉下来一点 |
| [17:30] | But Dr. Talmadge, I don’t even know your first name. | 托米医生 我还不知道你姓什么呢 |
| [17:33] | – Michelle. – Michelle. | -米谢尔 -米谢尔 |
| [17:36] | That’s prettier than Stanley. | 真是个好听的名字 |
| [17:41] | – Sorry. – That’s okay. | -不好意思 -没关系 |
| [17:43] | It’s all part of the little meet-cute thing we got going here. | 这只是我们温馨过程的一部分 |
| [17:49] | So how long does it take before I start feeling… | 多久之后我才会有… |
| [17:56] | happy. | 快感 |
| [18:00] | Happy, happy, happy. Happy. | 幸福啊 幸福啊 幸福啊 |
| [18:05] | Michelle, did you know I have a house on the beach? | 米谢尔 你知不知道 我在沙滩上有座房子 |
| [18:08] | – Really? I love the beach. – Oh, good, because I have a house there. | -真的? 我爱沙滩 -真的? 我在那儿有座房子 |
| [18:13] | Wait outside, I need to give your brother a hernia exam to make sure… | 你能不能出去一下 我得给你哥哥做进一步岔气检查 |
| [18:17] | he hasn’t reinjured the area. – A hernia exam. | 确定他的岔气没有复发 一个岔气检查 |
| [18:22] | – And your boxers. – Bye-bye, boxers. | -还有你的拳击短裤 -拜拜了 小内裤 |
| [18:30] | I was wrong. There’s no justice. | 我错了 根本就没有公正 |
| [18:32] | I thought there was justice, but there’s not. | 我以为有 但其实根本就没有 |
| [18:34] | What, you think there’s justice? | 什么 你觉得有公正? |
| [18:36] | Because there’s not. | 根本没有哇 |
| [18:39] | Turn your head and cough. | 转过去咳嗽一下 |
| [18:43] | – You have very warm hands. – Again. | -你的手真暖和 -再来一遍 |
| [18:46] | You have very warm hands. | 你的手真暖和 |
| [18:52] | So any chance I could take you out for dinner tonight? | 今天晚上可以约你出去吃饭吗 |
| [18:55] | – You’re hitting on me? – You started it. | -你是在泡我吗? -是你先开始的 |
| [18:58] | – You’re amazing. – Well, statistically… | -你真厉害 -呵呵 按数据来说 |
| [19:01] | I’m only slightly above average. | 我只超过常人一点点而已 |
| [19:05] | But I make up for it with enthusiasm and perseverance. | 我最擅长激情与持久 |
| [19:08] | No, what’s amazing is that you don’t remember me. | 不是 我说的是你居然都不记得我 |
| [19:11] | Well, sure I remember you. | 我当然记得你 |
| [19:13] | You’re the pretty woman cupping my testicles from earlier. | 你是个正在抚摸我睾丸的性感女人 |
| [19:16] | Back when I was in medical school, you and I went out for a couple months. | 当我还在医学院的时候 你和我约会过几个月 |
| [19:23] | You wanna loosen your grip there? | 你要不要考虑捏得松一点 |
| [19:26] | Then for reasons I never understood… | 接着不知何故 |
| [19:28] | you stopped calling me, and started seeing my roommate. | 你就不给我打电话了 然后开始泡我室友了 |
| [19:32] | The grip. | 松点儿 |
| [19:35] | I always hoped I’d run into you again. | 我总希望还能再遇到你 |
| [19:38] | Please. Just leave me one. | 求你了 就松一下 |
| [19:42] | Oh, dear God. | 哦 上帝 |
| [19:46] | My brother’s making lemonade. | 我兄弟在榨柠檬汁 |
| [19:55] | I need to go to the bathroom. | 我要去上厕所 |
| [19:57] | So go. | 想去就去 |
| [20:02] | Oh, yeah. | 哦 好吧 |
| [20:13] | Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow. | 晚安 明天见 |
| [20:15] | – Night. – Night. | -晚安 -晚安 |
| [20:17] | So, are you gonna tell me what happened with you and the doctor? | 要不要跟我讲讲 你跟那个医生都发生什么了 |
| [20:20] | What do you think happened? | 你觉得发生什么了 |
| [20:22] | I think she shot you full of drugs… | 我觉得她给你打了一针毒品 |
| [20:25] | you dropped trou, she jumped your bones… | 你们俩干柴烈火 |
| [20:27] | and you’re the luckiest bastard to walk the earth. | 然后你就成为了最幸运的混蛋 |
| [20:30] | Well, for your information… | 告诉你吧 事实上 |
| [20:33] | that’s exactly what happened. | 事情就是这样的 |
| [20:37] | Not even a little justice. | 老天真是瞎了眼 |
| [20:40] | This is a justice-free zone. | 老天根本不管这儿 |
| [20:44] | Looking for justice? Sorry, fresh out. | 寻求公正呢? 对不起 快被挤出去了 |
| [20:49] | Enjoy sucking on that lemon. | 继续吸那个柠檬吧 |
| [20:53] | Nope, not yet. | 没 还没好 |