| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | -You got a date tonight? -No. | -你今晚有约会吗 -没有 |
| [00:09] | Aren’t you gonna ask me if I do? | 难道你不问我有没有吗 |
| [00:12] | Okay. You got a date tonight? | 好吧 今晚有约会吗 |
| [00:15] | Sure, rub my nose in it. | 想在伤口撒盐? |
| [00:19] | Besides, I’d rather hang out with you and Jake… | 另外 我更喜欢跟你和杰克在一起 |
| [00:22] | …than engage in mindless conversation with some strange woman… | 而不是和一些陌生女人们 聊些无聊的话题 |
| [00:25] | …in the desperate hope that she might sleep with me. | 还要深切渴望她们能帮我侍寝 |
| [00:30] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [00:33] | If we can’t lie to each other, who can we lie to? | 我们不依靠对方 还能依靠谁呢 |
| [00:36] | To family. | 敬家人 |
| [00:44] | -Who is it? -It’s Mom. | -是谁 -妈妈 |
| [00:47] | -Once, twice, three, shoot. -Once, twice, three, shoot. | -单数 一 二 三 出 |
| [00:52] | Hey, Mom. | 嘿 妈 |
| [00:53] | No, I don’t have a date tonight. | 不 我今晚没约会 |
| [00:55] | Don’t you wanna know about Alan? | 你不想知道艾伦有没有吗 |
| [01:01] | So, what’s up? | 那么 什么事 |
| [01:03] | Yes, I got your message. | 是的 我收到你的留言了 |
| [01:05] | I was gonna call you back, but… | 我正要给你回电话 但是… |
| [01:07] | I was. | 我是要 |
| [01:09] | I was. | 我是要 |
| [01:11] | I was. | 我真的是要 |
| [01:13] | Okay, I wasn’t. | 好吧 我不是 |
| [01:17] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [01:19] | And do you wanna tell me why you called? | 你不打算告诉我为啥事打电话吗 |
| [01:21] | I said, I’m sorry. | 我说了对不起 |
| [01:24] | I am sorry. I am. I am. | 我很抱歉 我是抱歉 我是 我真的是 |
| [01:28] | All right, I’m not. | 好吧 我不是 |
| [01:31] | So, what’s up? Tomorrow? | 那么 什么事? 明天 |
| [01:34] | Yeah, sure. One of us will be here. | 是的 当然啦 我们两中有一个会在这儿 |
| [01:41] | I’ll be here. | 我会在这儿 |
| [01:44] | All right, gotta go. Love you. | 好的 挂了 爱你 |
| [01:47] | No, I’m not just saying that. | 不 我不只是随便说说的 |
| [01:49] | I’m not. | 我不是 |
| [01:51] | No, I’m not. | 不 我不是 |
| [01:53] | Mom, we both know where this going. | 妈 我们都知道这会有什么结果 |
| [01:58] | -Sorry to stick you with her. -Yeah, sure. | -真抱歉把你丢给她 -是啊 当然啦 |
| [02:00] | -I am. -Right. | -我是 -对 |
| [02:02] | -I am. -Whatever. | -我是 -随便 |
| [02:03] | Okay, I’m not. | 好吧 我不是 |
| [02:06] | Schmuck. | 傻瓜 |
| [02:08] | For 30 years, every time I call odds, he throws a two, | 这三十年 每次我喊”单数” 他总是出2 |
| [02:10] | and I’m the schmuck. | 而我才是傻瓜? |
| [02:13] | -Hey, buddy. -Hey, Dad. | -嘿 小伙子 -嘿 爸爸 |
| [02:15] | -Here’s the bill for Jake’s class trip. -Why give it to me? | -这是杰克班级旅行的支票账单 -为什么要给我 |
| [02:18] | -So you can pay it. -Me? | -给你去交费啊 -我? |
| [02:20] | What’s the point of giving child support… | 如果我给你赡养费 |
| [02:22] | …if you don’t support the child? | 而你却不拿来养小孩 那我给你干嘛 |
| [02:24] | Child support doesn’t cover class trips. | 赡养费不包括付班级旅行费 |
| [02:26] | -Says who? -You wanna make an issue of this? | -谁说的? -你想要讨论这个问题吗 艾伦 |
| [02:29] | Have your lawyer call mine. | 行 让你的律师打电话给我的律师 |
| [02:30] | They can decide who pays for class trips. | 让他们来决定谁来付班级旅行的费用 |
| [02:32] | Oh, I’m sorry. Class trips? | 抱歉 是班级旅行吗 |
| [02:35] | I’m happy to pay for class trips. | 我很愿意付班级旅行的费用 |
| [02:38] | I thought you said “ass clips.” | 我以为你是说屁夹 |
| [02:42] | What are ass clips? | 什么是屁夹 |
| [02:44] | I don’t know, but I don’t intend to pay for them. | 我不知道 但我肯定不打算为这东西付钱 |
| [02:47] | Goodbye, Alan. | 再见 艾伦 |
| [02:50] | At least we settled who pays for ass clips around here. | 至少我们决定了谁该给屁夹付钱! |
| [02:54] | Okay, Mom. Good talking to you. | 好了 妈 很高兴跟你聊天 |
| [02:56] | I’m gonna hang up now. | 我要挂电话啦 |
| [02:58] | Yes, I am. | 是 我很高兴 |
| [03:00] | I am. | 我是高兴 |
| [03:03] | Okay, I’m not. | 好吧 我不高兴 |
| [03:14] | -Jake’s here. -Cool. | -杰克来了 -好 |
| [03:17] | It wouldn’t kill you to talk to Mom once in a while. | 知道吗 你偶尔跟妈妈说说话不会死的 |
| [03:20] | We don’t know that. | 我们不能确定 |
| [03:22] | -Besides, you lost fair and square. -I don’t think so. | -另外 你输了 这很公平 -我可不这么想 |
| [03:26] | -I think you cheated. -At odds and evens? | -我觉得你作弊了 -单复数 |
| [03:31] | How on earth does one cheat at odds and evens? | 怎么才能在单复数上作弊啊 |
| [03:34] | Don’t give me that big, cow-eyed, aw-shucks, | 拜托 别用你那双 可怜无助的大眼睛望着我 |
| [03:36] | Howdy Doody veneer. | 你这个木偶胡迪·都迪 (很有名气的提线木偶) |
| [03:40] | -What? -You heard me. | -什么 -你听到我说了 |
| [03:45] | …and as long as we’re stringing random words together… | 既然我们在说些胡编乱造的话… |
| [03:48] | …shoebox, MoonPie, Band-Aid. | 鞋盒 月饼 邦迪… |
| [03:50] | Let me tell you something, Alan, and I say this with no agenda. | 我告诉你 我要告诉你些事 艾伦 而且我不是有意要说的 |
| [03:54] | I am not a judgmental person, but you, | 我不是什么评论家 但是你 |
| [03:56] | you are a horrible little man. | 你是个可恶的小人 |
| [04:00] | You smile, tell everybody what they wanna hear… | 你微笑着跟每个人说他们想听的话 |
| [04:03] | …but I know what goes on inside your grinning puppet head. | 但我知道那微笑的面具后在想些什么 |
| [04:06] | You don’t have a clue what’s going on inside my puppet head… | 你根本不知道我脑袋里在想什么 |
| [04:09] | …because to know that, you would have to be capable of… | 因为想要知道我脑袋里在想什么 你需要有能力… |
| [04:12] | …perceiving the world that exists beyond the tip of your penis. | 感知到除了你的老二之外的世界 |
| [04:17] | Don’t talk about my penis. You have not earned the right. | 不要谈论我的老二 你没有那个权利 |
| [04:21] | You are a selfish man, Charlie. You’re a user. | 你是个自私鬼 查理 你这个浪费鬼 |
| [04:23] | You just suckle from the teat of life and you never give back. | 你只知索取生活的甜头 却从不回报 |
| [04:27] | “Suckle from the teat of life”? | 索取生活的甜头? |
| [04:30] | Who are you, Henry Wadsworth Pinhead? | 你以为自己是谁啊? 亨利·沃茨沃斯? 你这个针眼 (美国诗人) |
| [04:32] | -You call me that because I’m right. -I call you that… | -你那样叫我因为你知道我说的对 -知道吗 我那样叫你 |
| [04:35] | …because you can wear a thimble as a hat. | 因为你心眼比针眼还小 |
| [04:38] | Hey, what’s going on? | 怎么啦 |
| [04:40] | -Nothing. -Just hanging out. | -没什么 -只是随便聊聊 |
| [05:07] | You know, if you guys were queer… | 知道吗 要是你们两个是同性恋 |
| [05:09] | …we’d be what they’d call an alternated family. | 我们就是人称的”另类家庭”了 (不结婚 合伙照看孩子) |
| [05:25] | -Morning. -Morning. | -早上好 -早上好 |
| [05:30] | I feel bad about last night. | 昨晚的事我感到很难过 |
| [05:32] | That’s okay. I forgive you. | 没关系 我原谅你了 |
| [05:36] | I didn’t apologize. | 我没有道歉 |
| [05:37] | Well, then I guess I’m just a bigger man than you are. | 那我想我比你大度多了 |
| [05:41] | I’m kidding. Forget about it. | 开玩笑呢 忘了那事吧 |
| [05:44] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [05:46] | What do you wanna do with Jake? | 今天你想跟杰克做点什么 |
| [05:48] | I don’t know. How about a barbecue? | 不知道 烧烤吧 |
| [05:50] | Well, I’m sure the kid’s delicious, | 我想这小孩肯定很美味 |
| [05:52] | but I think I’d rather have hamburgers. | 但我更想吃汉堡包 |
| [05:55] | Dad, check it out. Mom bought me new shoes. | 爸爸 来看看 妈妈给我买了新鞋 |
| [05:57] | -Very cool. -Yeah, they were really expensive. | -真不错 -是啊 它们非常贵 |
| [06:00] | -I’ll bet. -She said to give you the bill. | -肯定了 -她说把账单给你 |
| [06:05] | What? Why do I get the bill? | 什么 为什么要给我账单 |
| [06:07] | So you can give me a check to pay her back. | 那样你就能给我支票去付钱了 |
| [06:09] | -Why? -She doesn’t trust me with cash. | -为什么 -让我带现金她不放心 |
| [06:14] | No. Why should I be buying your shoes? | 为什么我要给你买鞋 |
| [06:17] | You didn’t. Mom did. | 你没买 妈妈买的 |
| [06:23] | This is so wrong. I send her a child support check every month… | 这大错特错 我是说 我每月都给她赡养费 |
| [06:27] | …which is supposed to include things like clothing, food, shoes. | 那应该已经包括了 衣服 食物 鞋诸如之类的东西 |
| [06:31] | Alan, you’re like an Alzheimer’s victim in a whorehouse. | 艾伦 你就像妓院里的冤大头 |
| [06:38] | Excuse me? | 什么? |
| [06:39] | You’re constantly surprised that you’ve been screwed… | 当你被整的时候你总是很惊讶 |
| [06:47] | …and you don’t wanna pay for it. | 而且你还不想为此付钱 |
| [06:56] | -Morning. -Morning. | -早上好 -早上好 |
| [06:58] | Did you drop off the dry cleaning by the back door? | 后门放着的衣服你送去干洗了吗? |
| [07:01] | That was dry cleaning? | 那是要干洗的? |
| [07:03] | I thought you were throwing that stuff out. | 我还以为是要丢掉的呢 |
| [07:05] | You threw out my clothes? | 你把我的衣服扔掉啦? |
| [07:07] | I gave them to my sister’s husband, Earl. | 别荒唐了 我给了我妹夫厄尔 |
| [07:10] | You gave three cashmere sweaters and a new sport coat | 你把3件羊绒毛衣 和1件崭新的运动上衣 |
| [07:12] | to your brother-in-law? | 给了你的妹夫? |
| [07:15] | Why shouldn’t he have nice things? | 他为什么不能有点好东西 |
| [07:19] | He’s paid his debt to society. | 他该还的债已经还完了 |
| [07:22] | You have to get them back. | 你得把那些东西拿回来 |
| [07:23] | I wish I could, but Earl’s got one withered arm… | 我希望能拿回来 但是厄尔的一只手臂萎缩了… |
| [07:26] | …and he had all the left sleeves hemmed. | 所以他把左袖子都封口了 |
| [07:29] | Those were expensive clothes, Berta. | 那些都是很贵的衣服 波塔 |
| [07:31] | Wanna take it out in trade, stud? | 还想把它们拿去卖点啥吗 种马 |
| [07:34] | Because this back brace snaps off with the flick of a wrist. | 手腕只要轻轻一用力 后撑背板就应声折断 |
| [07:41] | Okay, okay, that’s the last straw. | 好吧 我真是受不了了 |
| [07:43] | You have abused my good nature for too long, | 你践踏我的好脾气已经很久了 |
| [07:45] | and I am putting my foot down. | 现在我要开始反抗了 |
| [07:47] | Well, you let me know how that works out for you. | 是吗 那等开始了记得通知我一声 |
| [07:55] | I guess we know who’s in charge around here. | 我想我们知道这里谁做主了 |
| [07:57] | If I want your opinion, I’ll ask your ex-wife. | 嘿 要是需要你的意见 我会问你前妻的 |
| [08:03] | Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Well, if I want your opinion… | 哦 是吗 是吗 要是我想要你的意见 |
| [08:06] | …I’ll ask one of the dozens of women you have meaningless casual sex with. | 我会询问你众多的一夜情人之一的 |
| [08:10] | Oh, ouch. | 哇 真疼啊 |
| [08:13] | -Hey, Uncle Charlie? -What? | -查理叔叔 -什么 |
| [08:16] | -I love you. -What did you do, Jake? | -我爱你 -你做了什么 杰克 |
| [08:19] | I love you too, Dad. | 我也爱你 爸爸 |
| [08:21] | -What did he do? -How am I supposed to know? | -他做了什么 艾伦 -我怎么会知道 |
| [08:23] | Well, he’s your knuckleheaded son. | 他可是你蠢笨无知的儿子 |
| [08:25] | He’s my knuckleheaded son now, | 他现在是我蠢笨无知的儿子了? |
| [08:27] | but when you’re trawling for tail… | 但当你在”家得宝”泡妹的时候 |
| [08:28] | …at The Home Depot, he’s your slow but adorable nephew. | 他就是你迟钝但无比可爱的侄子 |
| [08:31] | I might as well get one perk out of having you sponge off me. | 你的话语让我疼得就象被海绵猛打 |
| [08:34] | -Sponge? Sponge? -Oh, that’s a good idea. | -海绵 海绵? -这倒是个好主意 |
| [08:37] | Well, let me tell you something. | 那好 让我来告诉你 |
| [08:39] | Take away your fancy house, your fancy car… | 除了你的靓车豪宅 |
| [08:41] | …your women, and what have you got? | 和你的那些女人 你还有什么? |
| [08:43] | A better-Iooking version of you. | 长的比你帅! |
| [08:45] | Have I mentioned how much I hate you? | 我有没有说过我多恨你 |
| [08:47] | Have I mentioned how much I hate you? | 我有没有说过我多恨你 |
| [08:50] | -Don’t copy me. -Don’t copy me. | -不要学我 -不要学我 |
| [08:51] | -You’re an idiot. -You’re an idiot. | -你是个傻瓜 -你是个傻瓜 |
| [08:53] | -I’m warning you, Charlie. -I’m warning you, Charlie. | -我警告你 查理 -我警告你 查理 |
| [08:59] | How childish. | 真是孩子气 |
| [09:07] | Would you mind toasting my buns, please? | 能帮我烤一下面包吗 |
| [09:10] | To your buns. | 敬你的屁股 (buns双译) |
| [09:14] | You sicken me. | 真让我恶心 |
| [09:18] | Hey. | 你好 |
| [09:20] | -Hey, Rose. -What’s going on? | -你好 罗斯 -发生什么事了 |
| [09:22] | Just making lunch. | 只是在做午饭 |
| [09:27] | -Wanna join us? -Maybe some other time. | -要一起吃吗 -也许换个时间吧 |
| [09:35] | A little garlic butter is also a good way to jazz up a hamburger bun. | 放一点蒜油 也是给汉堡面包调料的好办法 |
| [09:39] | He’s lucky all I’m doing is spitting. | 我只在上面吐口水 算他幸运 |
| [09:42] | It doesn’t take a master’s in behavioral psychology, which I happen to have… | 知道吗 无需成为行为心理学硕士 就能 |
| [09:47] | …to see that you and you brother have unresolved fraternal conflicts. | 看出你们的不合 虽然我正好是 |
| [09:50] | Gee, you think? | 天那 你真这么觉得? |
| [09:53] | I think it might be therapeutic for you two… | 是啊 而且我觉得你和某人坐下来 |
| [09:55] | …to sit down with someone and explore those conflicts. | 好好探讨下这些矛盾将会有很大帮助 |
| [09:58] | -You mean you? -Well, I could refer you… | -你是指你吗 -我更想给你推荐 |
| [10:01] | …to the woman I talk to, but she doesn’t exist. | 和我谈的女人 但是她不存在 |
| [10:05] | So, yeah. Me. | 所以 是的 是我 |
| [10:07] | Let’s see. Couples counseling for me and Alan with you as the therapist. | 让我想想 让你对我和艾伦做面对面治疗 |
| [10:11] | Why don’t we just drop acid, run out into the ocean… | 那还不如让我们磕点药 跳进海里 |
| [10:13] | …and pretend we’re dolphins? | 假装自己是海豚呢 |
| [10:16] | You’re exhibiting a lot of hostility, Charlie. | 你充满了敌意 查理 |
| [10:19] | You know what we psychologists call that? | 你知道我们心理学家怎么称呼它吗 |
| [10:21] | -What? -Hostility. | -什么? -敌意 |
| [10:23] | Why would we need more than one word for it? | 一个词就够用啦 |
| [10:27] | Rose, I appreciate your concern, but Alan and I don’t need therapy. | 罗斯 感谢你的关心 但艾伦和我不需要治疗 |
| [10:31] | Everything will work itself out. | 一切都能解决的 |
| [10:46] | I’m just saying, I think it would really help you guys… | 我是说只要你们俩坐下来谈谈心 |
| [10:49] | …if you could sit down and share your feelings. | 会对你们俩很有帮助的 |
| [10:57] | We’re fine, Rose. | 我们好的很 罗斯 |
| [11:01] | -Choke on it, princess. -Bite me, bitch. | -噎死吧 公主 -咬我啊 烂人 |
| [11:14] | I think he may have anticipated that. | 我想他已经预测到这步了 |
| [11:48] | -How Freudian. -It’s not Freudian. | -典型的弗洛伊德学说啊 -这才不是弗洛伊德学说 |
| [11:53] | But mine’s bigger. | 我的要大些 |
| [11:56] | It’s a banana, you moron. | 只是个香蕉 你这蠢货 |
| [12:00] | It’s not just about you and Charlie, you know. | 这不只是你和查理的问题 知道吗 |
| [12:03] | There’s that innocent little moppet to consider. | 还有那个无辜的小宝宝要考虑 |
| [12:06] | Moppet? | 小宝宝? |
| [12:12] | I’m baking air biscuits. Get them while they’re hot. | 精心制作的臭气点心 趁热享用吧 |
| [12:16] | He may not be able to process it now… | 他也许现在还没意识到… |
| [12:18] | …but he picks up on all the negative emotion around here. | 但他得承受这环境里所有的负面情绪 |
| [12:21] | Save yourselves, run for your lives! | 为了生存 加油跑啊! |
| [12:26] | Okay, well, if you can get Charlie to agree, I’ll do it. | 好吧 要是你征得查理的同意的话 我会做的 |
| [12:29] | -Good. -And as a rule… | -很好 -通常情况下… |
| [12:31] | …when says they’re bad, take his word for it. | 要是他说这不好 你最好接受他的意见 |
| [12:34] | Oh, please, Alan. I grew up with two older brothers and… | 相信我吧 艾伦 我和两个哥哥一起长大… |
| [12:38] | Oh, my God! | 噢 我的天啊 |
| [12:44] | The only reason I let him live here is because of Jake. | 我让他住在这里唯一的原因是杰克 |
| [12:47] | Go on. | 继续 |
| [12:48] | He was a pain in the ass when we were kids… | 他打小就是个刺儿头 |
| [12:51] | …and now he’s blossomed into a three-fingered prostate exam. | 现在更变本加厉成为疑难杂症 |
| [12:55] | Have you considered the possibility that since you’re the older brother… | 你有没有想过这种可能性 既然你是他哥哥 |
| [12:59] | …you harbor resentment towards him… | 你会不会因为你妈妈把所有的爱和注意力都放在了他身上 |
| [13:01] | …for usurping Mommy’s love and attention? | 而对他心怀有憎恨? |
| [13:03] | I’m sorry, have you met my mother? | 对不起 你见过我妈妈吗 |
| [13:06] | Okay, so that’s a no. | 好吧 那么不是 |
| [13:09] | Please don’t try to psychoanalyze me. | 别给我做心理分析 |
| [13:11] | Oh, Charlie. Psychoanalysis takes years. | 查理 心理分析要花好几年时间呢 |
| [13:14] | I’m just messing around inside your head. | 我只是在你的大脑里闲逛一下 |
| [13:18] | Have you ever considered the possibility… | 你有没有想过这种可能性 |
| [13:21] | …that you are the primary male role model in Alan’s life? | 你是艾伦生命中首要的男性榜样 |
| [13:24] | And if his behavior is making you mad, he learned it from you. | 如果他的行为让你愤怒 他都是从学你那学到的 |
| [13:27] | So, in fact, you are making you mad. | 所以实际上是 你自己让自己愤怒 |
| [13:32] | That’s nuts. | 你疯了 |
| [13:34] | Just sit with it for a moment. I think it’s a pretty good insight. | 就坐着好好想想 我觉得这是个很不错的见解 |
| [13:39] | No, I’m gonna stick with nuts. | 不 我还是觉得你疯了 |
| [13:42] | And I don’t wanna continue this. | 我不想继续谈下去了 |
| [13:44] | Do you feel you can’t be totally honest with me… | 你是不是觉得因为我们曾有过一夜情 |
| [13:47] | …since we slept together? -No. | -而无法对我坦诚? -不是的 |
| [13:49] | Why can’t you be totally honest? | 那你为什么不能对我坦诚呢 |
| [13:51] | -I can be totally honest with you. -Really? | -我能对你坦诚! -真的 |
| [13:54] | How much did you like having sex with me? | 你有多喜欢和我做爱 |
| [13:57] | Let’s go talk to Alan. | 我们去和艾伦谈吧 |
| [14:01] | And they wouldn’t give me a license. | 他们居然不给我执照! |
| [14:07] | All right. Let the healing begin, you pinhead. | 好吧 我们开始治疗 你这针眼头 |
| [14:10] | Can we refrain from counterproductive name-calling? | 我们能不能停止 这毫无意义的叫绰号行为吗 |
| [14:14] | Such big words from such a little head. | 那么小的脑袋里 居然蹦出来那么大的词 |
| [14:17] | Charlie, please sit down. | 查理 请坐下 |
| [14:22] | Okay. Here are the ground rules. | 好了 这是基本规则 |
| [14:24] | There will be no name-calling and no interrupting. | 不能取绰号 不能打岔 |
| [14:27] | The purpose of this is to air our feelings without judgment. | 这样做的目的是 不被影响的把我们的想法表达出来 |
| [14:31] | -Alan, why don’t you start? -Why does he start? | -艾伦 你先开始吧 -为什么他先开始 |
| [14:33] | -Would you like to start? -No. | -你想先开始吗 -不 |
| [14:35] | Then shut up. | 那就闭嘴 |
| [14:38] | Alan, you’ll go first. | 艾伦 你先来 |
| [14:40] | And begin with the phrase, “I feel Charlie is ‘blank.'” | 以这样的话开头 “我觉得查理…” |
| [14:45] | I don’t think I can top that. | 我想我没法那样开头 |
| [14:52] | Okay, I feel like Charlie is… | 好的 我觉得查理 |
| [14:57] | …ashamed to have me as a brother. | 认为有我这个弟弟是一个耻辱 |
| [15:00] | Well, there you go. Are we done? | 说的很好 我们结束了吗 |
| [15:02] | Charlie, you’ll get your turn. | 查理 会轮到你的 |
| [15:05] | When was the first time you felt that way, Alan? | 艾伦 你第一次这样想是什么时候 |
| [15:08] | I guess on the playground. | 我想是在操场上 |
| [15:10] | The first day of kindergarten, he told his friends… | 那是我第一天上幼儿园 他告诉他所有的朋友… |
| [15:13] | …that I was a shaved monkey our mom won in a poker game. | 我是一只妈妈打扑克 赢回来的刮了毛的猴子 |
| [15:19] | Charlie, why do you think you might have said something like that? | 查理 你认为你为什么会说出那样的话呢 |
| [15:24] | Well, I guess deep down… | 我想在我内心深处… |
| [15:28] | …I always wanted a shaved monkey. | 我一直想要只刮了毛的猴子 |
| [15:32] | You promised Mom you would look after me. | 你跟妈妈保证过你会照顾我的 |
| [15:34] | I was 7 years old. You can’t trust a 7-year-old. | 我才7岁 你不能相信一个7岁的小孩 |
| [15:37] | You know how he looks after me? He gave me wedgies. | 你知道他怎样照顾我的吗 他老是把我的内裤拉过我头顶 |
| [15:41] | From kindergarten on, I got daily wedgies. | 从幼儿园开始 我每天都被把内裤拉过头顶 |
| [15:43] | My butt cheeks didn’t unclench until my second year of college. | 直到我大二那年以前 我的屁臀都无法分开 |
| [15:47] | At which point, a long stick slid out. | 直到那时 那个棍子才得以见天日 |
| [15:53] | Let’s try a little role-playing. | 现在 我们来试试角色扮演 |
| [15:55] | He put dog poop in my Mork and Mindy lunchbox. | 他把狗屎放到我的 “摩克和明迪”午餐盒里 |
| [16:00] | Oh, will you please let that go? | 拜托你别死缠着那事不放了吧 |
| [16:03] | And by the way, if you think it through… | 顺便提一下 要是你仔细想想 |
| [16:05] | …we didn’t have a dog. -What? | -我们那时没养狗 -什么 |
| [16:07] | Mom told me to make you lunch, I made you lunch. | 妈妈让我给你准备午餐 我就给你”准备”了午餐 |
| [16:10] | Oh, my God! Do you see… | 上帝 你看到 |
| [16:12] | …what I have been dealing with my entire life? | 我这一生 都在和什么人打交道吗 |
| [16:15] | The real genius was putting it in a hot-dog bun. | 真正的创举是把它放进热狗面包里 |
| [16:19] | All through the second grade… | 你知道吗 整个二年级 |
| [16:21] | …he would introduce me as his ugly sister, Alana? | 他都介绍我是”丑妹妹 阿拉娜” |
| [16:25] | That’s because all through second grade, you wore culottes. | 那是因为你在整个二年级里都穿裙裤 |
| [16:29] | They were extra roomy Bermuda shorts. I was prone to chafing. | 那是大号宽松的百慕大短裤 我皮肤容易发炎 |
| [16:35] | Charlie, how did you feel when you were calling Alan a monkey or a girl… | 查理 你在称呼艾伦 “猴子” “妹妹” |
| [16:40] | …or putting excrement in his lunchbox? | 或在他的午餐盒里放大便时有什么感觉 |
| [16:43] | It’s hard to describe. | 很难形容 |
| [16:45] | It was kind of a warm, satisfied feeling. | 一种温暖的满足之感 |
| [16:49] | And why do you think you felt that way? | 你觉得你为什么会有这样的感受呢 |
| [16:52] | Because he was such a smartass. | 因为他是那种尖子生 |
| [16:54] | Straight A’s, Mommy’s favorite, Daddy’s boy, stepdaddy’s boy. | 全优 爸妈的最爱 继父的乖儿子 |
| [16:58] | Somebody had to take him down a peg. | 得有人让他吃点苦头 |
| [17:00] | -You were jealous of me. -No, no. | -你是在嫉妒我 -不 |
| [17:03] | -I was annoyed. -I don’t believe it. | – 我觉得很烦 -这不敢相信 |
| [17:05] | -You were jealous. -No, I wasn’t. | -你就是嫉妒 -不 我没有 |
| [17:07] | -Sounds like you were, Charlie. -You can’t take sides. | -听起来你是在嫉妒 查理 -好了 你不能偏袒 |
| [17:10] | -That’s unprofessional. -Professional? | -这是不专业的 -什么专业 |
| [17:12] | I’m just making this up as I go along. | 我只是在边听边画呢 |
| [17:15] | I’m drawing kitty-cats here. | 我在这儿画凯蒂猫呢 |
| [17:20] | All these years, you had to put me down… | 这些年来 你想方设法的打击我 |
| [17:22] | …because you secretly believed that I was better than you. | 是因为你暗中相信我比你出色 |
| [17:25] | No, that’s ridiculous. | 不 那真是荒谬 |
| [17:27] | I knew I was better, but I didn’t think you knew. | 我是说我知道自己比你出色 但我以为你不知道 |
| [17:30] | No, no, I didn’t know that. There was nothing to know. | 不不 我不知道 根本没什么我需要知道的 |
| [17:33] | I don’t buy it. You were an emotionally wounded child. | 我可不这么想 你是一个心理受伤的小孩 |
| [17:36] | I wasn’t wounded. I was the wounder. | 我没有受伤 我是伤人犯! |
| [17:39] | He was the woundee. | 他才是受害者 |
| [17:41] | I was a mean, rotten brother. You’ve gotta believe me. | 我是个恶毒堕落的坏哥哥 你千万要相信我 |
| [17:44] | I tortured him. | 我折磨他 |
| [17:46] | Once, I convinced him the clothes dryer was a time machine. | 有一次 我说服他相信脱干机就是时间机器 |
| [17:49] | When he got out, I was dressed in Pilgrim clothes… | 当他出来的时候 我穿着朝圣者的衣服… |
| [17:51] | …and threatened to burn him as a witch. | 告诉他我要用火刑惩治他这个巫师 |
| [17:56] | And now I understand why you did all those things. | 现在我明白 你做了这么多的事是为什么了 |
| [18:00] | -And I forgive you. -Don’t forgive me. | -我原谅你 -不要原谅我 |
| [18:03] | Hate me. Fear me. | 讨厌我吧 害怕我吧 |
| [18:06] | -Come here. -No. | -过来 -不 |
| [18:08] | -Come on. Give me a hug. -No, forget it. | -来吧 给我个拥抱 -不 忘了吧 |
| [18:11] | -Would you rather hug me? -What would be the point of that? | -那你更想拥抱我吗 -我干嘛要这么做 |
| [18:14] | It gets me hot. | 让我热血沸腾 |
| [18:17] | All right, if it’ll put an end to all this, one hug. | 好吧 要是能结束这一切 就拥抱个吧 |
| [18:25] | Hey, what are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [18:26] | Let’s see how you like a wedgie. Where’s your underwear? | 让你尝尝被人 把内裤拉过头顶是什么感觉 你的内裤在哪儿 |
| [18:31] | I’m not wearing any, but thanks for scratching my ass. | 我没穿呢 但谢谢你帮我抓屁股 |
| [18:42] | -This turned out to be a nice weekend. -Yeah. Go figure. | -这个周末过的还真不错 -是啊 说的不错 |
| [18:46] | Who would’ve thought Rose would be right? | 谁会相信罗斯知道自己在做什么? |
| [18:48] | Certainly not Rose. | 肯定不是罗斯 |
| [18:50] | She was right. We had a lot of baggage to clear up. | 不过她说得很对 我们有很多包袱要放下 |
| [18:53] | -Yeah, and I’m glad we talked it out. -Me too. | -是啊 真高兴我们能敞开心胸 -我也是 |
| [18:56] | You know, when all is said and done,. | 毕竟 不管怎么说 |
| [18:58] | all we have in this world is each other. | 在这世上我们所拥有的只有彼此 |
| [19:01] | You, me and that methane cloud you call a son. | 你 我 还有那个废气制造者 就是你叫他”儿子”的那个 |
| [19:10] | -It’s Mom. -Odds. | -是妈妈 -单数 |
| [19:12] | That’s okay. I got this one. | 行了 我来接吧 |
| [19:15] | -Thank you. -Hey, Mom. | -谢谢 -你好 妈妈 |
| [19:17] | Oh, that’s Judith. | 是朱蒂丝 |
| [19:20] | No, I’m just sitting here, | 我只是坐在这里 |
| [19:22] | enjoying the sunset with my favorite brother. | 跟我最好的兄弟一起享受阳光 |
| [19:24] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [19:27] | I’m not lying. I’m not. I’m not. | 我没撒谎 我没有 我没有 |
| [19:31] | Okay, I am. | 好吧 我是在撒谎 |
| [19:33] | Jake, your mom’s here. | 杰克 你妈妈来了 |
| [19:36] | Hey, Judith, how’s it going? | 你好 朱蒂丝 怎么了 |
| [19:38] | just had a flat tire on the freeway… | 我在高速公路上爆胎了 |
| [19:40] | …and called AAA, only to find out I no longer have AAA… | 打电话给汽车协会 却发现我已经不是汽车协会的了 |
| [19:43] | …because you no longer pay my dues. | 因为你没有付我的费用 |
| [19:45] | Excuse me, but we’re divorced. | 抱歉 我们已经离婚了 |
| [19:46] | -You pay that out of your alimony. -No. | -你应该自己从赡养费里拿钱付 -不 我不该付 |
| [19:49] | Because you didn’t, I had to stand on the side of the road… | 而由于你没有付钱 我只能在路边 |
| [19:52] | …until a creepy man stopped and offered to change my tire… | 直到某个恶心的死男人 以给他看我的胸部为交换 |
| [19:55] | …if I’d show him my breasts. | 停下来给我换车胎 |
| [19:57] | Well, there you go. I paid for your breasts. | 那就是啦 我给你的胸部付钱 |
| [20:00] | Okay, fine. We’ll let our attorneys figure out… | 好吧 那就让我们的律师来决定谁付… |
| [20:03] | …who pays for roadside service. -No attorneys. | -路边换胎服务 -别叫律师 |
| [20:05] | -I’m happy to pay for it. -Thank you. | -我很高兴付钱 -谢谢 |
| [20:07] | -Was that so hard? -No. No, not hard at all. | -很为难吗 -不不 一点也不为难 |
| [20:11] | -Bye, Dad. -Bye, buddy. | -再见 爸爸 -再见 小伙子 |
| [20:17] | In fact, it was easy. | 实际上 那很简单 |
| [20:19] | All I had to do was bend over and unclench. | 我需要做的只是弯下腰然后松开! |
| [20:24] | Okay, I said it. | 好吧 我说过 |
| [20:26] | Mom, you just said I said it. | 妈妈 你才说过我说过 |
| [20:47] | -Have fun at school. -All right. | -在学校玩的开心点 -好的 |
| [20:50] | Charlie, wait up. | 查理 等等我 |
| [20:53] | -Did you make Alan’s lunch? -Yep. | -你给艾伦做午饭了吗 -做了 |
| [20:55] | Hey, wait. You forgot to kiss me goodbye. | 等等 你们忘记跟我吻别了 |
| [20:57] | -No, I didn’t. -Yes, you did. | -没有 我没忘 -有 你忘了 |
| [21:00] | -I didn’t. -Yes, you did. | -我没有 -你有 |
| [21:02] | -Okay, I did. -Charlie, wait up. | -好吧 我有 -查理 等等我 |