| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | That was very nice, Mindy. | 很好 |
| [00:05] | Jake, we’re ready to hear your report. | 杰克 该你念作文了 |
| [00:08] | -Jake? -Just a sec. | -杰克? -等一下 |
| [00:12] | Now, Jake. | 快点 杰克 |
| [00:15] | Okay, I’m finished. | 完工了 |
| [00:20] | -Does spelling and grammar count? -It’s an oral report, Jake. | -拼写和语法算分吗 -这是口头报告 杰克 |
| [00:24] | Oh, so it’s like an oral thermometer. | 就像是口头温度计 |
| [00:26] | Right. | 是的 |
| [00:28] | Good thing it’s not a rectal report. | 好在不是直肠报告 |
| [00:32] | -Just read it. -Okay. | -好好念 -好吧 |
| [00:35] | “My Weekend, by Jake Harper. | “我的周末 作者杰克·哈勃 |
| [00:37] | Grade five, Mrs. Flanigan’s class. | 五年级 弗莱根夫人的班级 |
| [00:40] | Woodward Avenue Elementary School, located on Woodward Avenue.” | 位于伍德沃街的伍德沃街小学” |
| [00:43] | I’m not counting words. | 我不算字数的 |
| [00:45] | Oh, good. | 哦 那就好 |
| [00:51] | “My weekend starts on Friday, when my mom takes me to my dad’s house. | 我的周末从每周五我妈妈把我送到我爸爸家开始 |
| [00:54] | Which is actually my Uncle Charlie’s house. | 实际上那是我查理叔叔的家 |
| [00:57] | Who is my dad’s brother, making him my uncle. | 他是我老爸的哥哥 |
| [00:59] | His name is Charlie, which is why I call him my Uncle Charlie.” | 他的名字叫查理 这也是我为什么叫查理叔叔 |
| [01:04] | Anyway… | 总之 |
| [01:06] | “Even though my parents are divorced, they still get along. “ | 虽然我的父母离婚了 但是他们还是相处得很好 |
| [01:09] | -Hey, buddy. -Hey, Dad. | -好啊 伙计 -好啊 老爸 |
| [01:11] | -How was your week? -Just fine. | -这周好吗? -很好 |
| [01:12] | -Bye, honey. -Bye, Mom. | -再见 宝贝 -再见 妈 |
| [01:14] | -Thanks for bringing him. -Bite me. What the hell… | -谢谢你把他送过来 -来你个头啊 |
| [01:17] | …went on last weekend? -What are you talking about? | 上周末到底怎么回事? -你在说什么呢? |
| [01:19] | When I brought him home Sunday night and served him dinner… | 上周日我把他带回家吃晚饭时 |
| [01:22] | …he tipped me with a $25 chip from Caesars Palace… | 他给了我25美元凯撒宫赌场的筹码作为小费 |
| [01:25] | …and told me I had a nice rack. | 然后还对我说胸部不错 |
| [01:29] | Well, Judith… | 哦 茱迪丝 |
| [01:37] | …you do. | 你胸部的确有料 |
| [01:39] | That’s not the point. | 问题不在这儿 |
| [01:41] | Where’d he get the chip? Where is he learning this behavior? | 他哪儿来的筹码? 又是哪儿学的这些怪招? |
| [01:44] | Hey, Judith. | 嘿 茱迪丝 |
| [01:47] | Looking good. | 你看起来不错 |
| [01:50] | Run away, run away. | 逃啊 逃啊 |
| [01:53] | Did you give my son a $25 chip? | 你是不是给了我儿子一个25美元的筹码 |
| [01:57] | -No, I did not give him a $25 chip. -Happy? | -不 我才没有给他呢 -满意了吧? |
| [01:59] | He won it, fair and square. | 是他赢的 光明正大赢的 |
| [02:03] | You couldn’t run away. | 这下你可逃不了了 |
| [02:05] | I don’t care what you do on weekdays. | 我不管你平时都干些什么 |
| [02:07] | But on weekends, remember you are a role model for an 11-year-old boy. | 但是你得记住 在周末你得给一个11岁男孩做好榜样 |
| [02:11] | Oh, that’s a bad idea. Who thought of that? | 哦 这主意可不妙 |
| [02:15] | I’m warning you. | 我警告你 艾伦 |
| [02:16] | Things had better change or there will be consequences. | 你最好注意你的行为 否则会有很严重的后果 |
| [02:19] | Legal consequences. Got it? | 法律上后果 明白了? |
| [02:22] | -Got it. -Goodbye. | -明白了 -再见 |
| [02:29] | “There will be serious consequences. | 否则会有很严重的后果 |
| [02:33] | Legal consequences.” | 法律上的后果 |
| [02:36] | “I don’t care what you do during the week. | 我不管你平时都干些什么 |
| [02:41] | But on the weekends, you’re a role model.” | 但是到了周末 你得是个好榜样 |
| [02:45] | I enjoy talking this way. | 我还挺喜欢用这个腔调来说话 |
| [02:49] | As do I. | 我也是 |
| [03:18] | “Friday night, I stayed up late. | 周五晚上 我熬得很晚 |
| [03:20] | I watched all three Austin Power movies with my dad. | 和老爸一起把三部”王牌大贱谍”都看完了 |
| [03:23] | We ate Chinese food and Buffalo wings. | 我们吃了中国菜和水牛城鸡翅 |
| [03:25] | Dad fell asleep during The Spy Who Shagged Me… | 老爸在看”王牌大贱谍”第二部时睡着了 |
| [03:28] | …which, in my opinion, is the strongest of the trilogy. | 可在我看来 这部是三部曲中最棒的 |
| [03:32] | By the way, ‘shag’ means ‘sex’ in England.” | 顺便说一句 “贱”在英国就是性的意思 |
| [03:35] | Just read, Jake. | 好好念 杰克 |
| [03:37] | That was a footnote. | 那是个注释 |
| [03:39] | -Read. -Okay. | -念 -好吧 |
| [03:42] | “I woke up later with a stomachache… | 后来我因为肚子痛醒了 |
| [03:44] | …but felt better after I went to the bathroom.” | 到可上过了厕所之后感觉就好多了 |
| [03:47] | If you know what I mean. | 如果你们知道我指的是什么的话 |
| [03:50] | -Jake. -What? It’s not like I said: | -杰克 -怎么了? 我又没说 |
| [03:52] | “I took a dump.” | 我去大号 |
| [03:59] | “Anyway, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn ‘t. | 总之 我想继续睡 但却睡不着了 |
| [04:02] | Probably because I was thirsty. | 可能是因为渴了 |
| [04:04] | So I went into the kitchen for what Uncle Charlie calls a ‘virgin screwdriver. | 于是我到厨房去喝我查理叔叔所称的处女螺丝刀 |
| [04:08] | But really it’s just a glass of orange juice. | 其实只是一种很棒的桔汁 |
| [04:11] | It was late, so I decided to skip the glass. | 那时很晚了 所以我决定不用杯子 |
| [04:21] | Jake? | 杰克? |
| [04:24] | Hang on. | 等一下 |
| [04:29] | That one hurt a little. | 呵 还有点痛了 |
| [04:31] | -What you doing? -Having a virgin screwdriver. | -你在干什么了 -我喝处女螺丝刀 |
| [04:34] | -Want some? -No, thanks. I’m good. | -你要点吗? -不用 谢谢 我不渴 |
| [04:38] | -What are you doing? -Watching TV. | -你在干什么? -看电视 |
| [04:41] | Why isn’t it on? | 那为什么电视没开? |
| [04:44] | Because I’ve seen this one already. | 因为这部我以前看过 |
| [04:48] | -Hey, you wanna hear a funny joke? -Sure. | -你想听听笑话吗? -当然 |
| [04:50] | Why did the blond stare at the juice carton? | 为什么金发美女盯着果汁包装盒看? |
| [04:52] | I don’t know. Why? | 我不知道 为什么? |
| [04:53] | “Cause the carton said ‘concentrate.'” | 因为盒子上说 集中注意(浓缩型) |
| [05:00] | That’s okay. I didn’t get it either. | 没关系 我也没搞懂哪儿好笑 |
| [05:03] | “The next morning I was pretty hungry because…” | 第二天早上 我感觉很饿 |
| [05:06] | I think you all know why. | 我估计你们知道原因 |
| [05:11] | “So I had a bowl of cereal with my dad, and we made plans for the day. “ | 于是我和我老爸一人吃了碗麦片 讨论今天干什么 |
| [05:15] | -You wanna go to the museum? -No. I wanna watch TV. | -你想去博物馆吗 -我想看电视 |
| [05:19] | It’s pretty windy out there. Wanna fly a kite? | 外面有风 想去放风筝吗? |
| [05:22] | No. I wanna watch TV. | 我想看电视 |
| [05:25] | -Hiking? -TV. | -远足? -电视 |
| [05:40] | -I’ll get it. -TV. | -我去开 -电视 |
| [05:44] | “We decided to watch TV.” | 我们最终决定了看电视 |
| [05:49] | -Hello. -Is your name Harper? | -你好 -你姓哈勃吗? |
| [05:52] | -Yes. -Then this is for you. | -是的 -那这就是你应得的 |
| [05:58] | -Why’d you do that? -Why did you sleep with my wife? | -你为什么要这样做? -你为什么要睡我老婆 |
| [06:04] | Charlie. | 查理 |
| [06:11] | Busy. | 忙着了 |
| [06:12] | I don’t care. Open the door. | 我不管 开门 |
| [06:17] | -I’ve got company. -I know. | -我有客人了 -我知道 |
| [06:19] | And her husband’s downstairs. | 并且她丈夫就在楼下 |
| [06:22] | Really? | 真的吗? |
| [06:24] | -You’re married? -Yeah. | -你结婚了? -是啊 |
| [06:30] | I’m not in. | 我不在家 |
| [06:32] | You have to come and deal with him. | 你必须得下来处理这件事 |
| [06:34] | -No, I don’t. -Yes, you do. | -不 我不 -不 你必须 |
| [06:36] | I disagree. | 我不同意 |
| [06:38] | It’s not up for debate. He knows you’re here. | 这没什么可争的 他知道你就在楼上 |
| [06:41] | Oh, man, I hate when this happens. | 老天 我讨厌这种事发生 |
| [06:44] | This happens a lot? | 这种事经常发生? |
| [06:45] | Not a lot, but enough to be a drag. | 不多 但每次都很麻烦 |
| [06:49] | Charlie, are you coming back to bed? | 查理 你还回床上来吗? |
| [06:52] | -Yes. -Yes? No “yes.” | -要的 -你还要? 不能再要了 |
| [06:54] | There is an angry husband in your living room. | 她那怒气冲冠的老公就在你 |
| [06:56] | How angry? | 他有多愤怒? |
| [06:58] | -Is he packing? -What? | -带家伙了吗? -什么 |
| [07:00] | -Does he have a weapon? -l… He has a stick. | -他带武器了吗 -是的 有根拐杖 |
| [07:03] | That’s not good. I could lose an eye. | 这可不好 我可能会瞎一只眼 |
| [07:06] | -Charlie! Come on. -Fine, I’ll wrap it up here. | -查理! -好的 我马上搞定 |
| [07:08] | -Give me 20 minutes. -Oh, no. | -给我20分钟 -不行 |
| [07:10] | A better idea. Wrap it up now. | 这个主意更好 现在搞定 |
| [07:13] | -Ten minutes? -Now. | -10分钟? -现在 |
| [07:17] | We got five minutes. | 我们还有5分钟 |
| [07:21] | “The weekend was going great, but then something really bad happened. “ | 周末一开始还不错 但是后来却大事不妙 |
| [07:25] | -Hey. -Hello. | -嘿 -你好 |
| [07:27] | -Who are you? -I’m Norman. | -你是谁 -我是诺曼 |
| [07:30] | I’m Jake. Have you seen my Game Boy? | 我是杰克 你看见我的掌上游戏机了吗? |
| [07:34] | No. Have you seen my wife? | 没有 你看见我的老婆了吗? |
| [07:38] | No. Well, if you see it, let me know. | 没有 如果你看到了 吱我一声 |
| [07:40] | Ditto. | 你也一样 |
| [07:45] | “I couldn ‘t believe it. | 我简直不能相信 |
| [07:47] | I lost my Game Boy.” | 我的掌上游戏机丢了 |
| [07:56] | “I couldn’t find my Game Boy in the kitchen or living room… | 厨房和客厅都找不到 |
| [07:59] | …so I checked my bedroom and my bathroom. | 我又找了卧室和洗手间 |
| [08:01] | Because, as you may recall, I’d spent a lot of time in there the night before.” | 因为正如你们所知 我昨晚在那里呆了很长时间 |
| [08:12] | -He’ll be right down. -Thank you. | -他马上就下来 -谢谢你 |
| [08:24] | Can I get you a cup of coffee? | 我给你倒杯咖啡? |
| [08:27] | Decaf. I’m already pretty enraged. | 无咖啡因的 我已经很来火了 |
| [08:32] | Well, that’s certainly understandable. | 当然可以理解 |
| [08:37] | I have cookies too. | 我还有点心 |
| [08:40] | -I wouldn’t say no to a cookie. -Good. Come on in the kitchen. | -点心我倒不会拒绝 -好的 那到厨房来吧 |
| [08:44] | I always find a nice cookie can brighten up even the darkest day. | 这个点心在黑夜也能点亮你的心情 |
| [08:48] | Yeah, well, this better be one hell of a cookie. | 那最好还是些好点心 |
| [08:52] | -It’s a nice house you got here. -Oh, thank you. | -你这房子不错 -谢谢你 |
| [08:55] | Actually, it belongs to my… | 其实 这是我…. |
| [08:58] | You live in the neighborhood? | 你就住在附近? |
| [09:02] | -Bel-Air. -Oh, that’s nice too. | -贝尔爱尔区(洛杉矶城西部一个区) -那也很不错 |
| [09:05] | Gated community, but the wife gets out anyway. | 封闭社区 但还是关不住老婆 |
| [09:11] | Chews through her leash, huh? | 她挣脱了皮带? |
| [09:16] | Hey, let me get you that cookie. | 我去给你拿点心 |
| [09:18] | You see like a nice fella. I’m sorry I hit you with my stick. | 你看起来像个好人 我很抱歉打了你 |
| [09:22] | Oh, that’s okay. I’m sorry my brother is… | 没事 我很抱歉我哥哥他…. |
| [09:26] | That’s okay. | 没事 |
| [09:28] | So women, huh? | 女人啊? |
| [09:31] | Can’t live with them. | 真是受不了她们 |
| [09:36] | That’s all I got. | 我能说的就这些 |
| [09:38] | -You married? -Divorced. | -你结婚了? -已经离了 |
| [09:40] | -She sleep around? -No, mostly just slept. | -她也到处睡? -不 她只是睡 |
| [09:45] | You’re lucky. | 你很幸运 |
| [09:46] | There’s no pain greater than being betrayed by the woman you love. | 没有比被你深爱的女人背叛更让人痛心的事了 |
| [09:50] | You know, these are really very tasty. | 这还真好吃 |
| [09:54] | Aren’t they? | 是吧? |
| [09:56] | -Good morning. -Oh, speaking of tasty cookies… | -早上好 -说到好吃的点心 |
| [10:00] | …Norman, this is Berta. | 诺曼 这是波塔 |
| [10:02] | -Hello. -What is this, a fix-up? | -你好 -这算什么 相亲? |
| [10:08] | No, no. Nothing like that. | 不 不是那回事 |
| [10:10] | That’s good, because I’d probably kill him. | 那就好 因为我可能会杀了他 |
| [10:16] | Nothing personal, Cotton Top. I just kind of like it rough. | 不针对你 棉花签 我只是那事向来喜欢粗暴点 |
| [10:25] | -Have another cookie. -Thank you. | -再来点 -谢谢 |
| [10:29] | So is anybody gonna tell me what’s going on? | 谁告诉我是怎么回事? |
| [10:31] | Well, it’s a little complicated. | 有点复杂 |
| [10:33] | -Charlie… -Got it. | -查理… -明白了 |
| [10:37] | Got it? How could you get it? | 明白了? 你怎么可能就明白了? |
| [10:39] | There’s a Rolls-Royce in the driveway… | 外面有辆劳斯莱斯 |
| [10:42] | …and I found these hanging on the mailbox… | 我又发现这挂在邮箱上 |
| [10:46] | …so I’m guessing that your brother’s got some bimbo upstairs… | 所以我认为你哥又带回家一些骚娘们 |
| [10:49] | …and Norman here is her daddy or her sugar daddy. | 诺曼则是她老爸或干爹 |
| [10:52] | -Tell me I’m wrong. -I’m the husband. | -告诉我 我猜对没有 -我是她的丈夫 |
| [10:55] | Judges? | 算不算对? |
| [10:59] | -You gotta give it to her. -Yes. | -你得算她对 -好 |
| [11:03] | -I mean, tough break. -Thank you. | -我的意思是 节哀顺便 -谢谢 |
| [11:06] | -You got a gun? -No! | -你带枪了吗 -没有! |
| [11:08] | -Want one? -Berta! | -想要一只吗? -波塔！ |
| [11:11] | I’m making small talk. | 谈谈而已嘛 |
| [11:15] | Okay. | 那好吧 |
| [11:17] | You wanna talk this out like gentlemen, or you…? | 你是想像个绅士一样谈谈呢还是…? |
| [11:22] | You might’ve mentioned he fought at the Alamo. | 你可没有说到他参加过阿拉莫起义 (该起义发生在1836年) |
| [11:28] | -No offense. -None taken. | -没有冒犯的意思 -没人能承受 |
| [11:34] | -Does that make us even? -You tell me. | -我们这算扯平了吗? -你说呢 |
| [11:37] | Okay. One more. | 好吧 再来一下 |
| [11:42] | How about that? | 这下怎么样? |
| [11:44] | -He poked you, you poked his… -Berta! | -他戳你 你戳他的老… -波塔! |
| [11:49] | What? How often do you see that kind of symmetry in life? | 怎么了? 这种喜剧在现实生活能见到几次? |
| [12:01] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [12:04] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [12:06] | Were you just up in Uncle Charlie’s room? | 你才从查理叔叔的房间里下来吗? |
| [12:08] | -Yeah. -Did you see my Game Boy? | -是的 -你看到我的掌上游戏机了吗? |
| [12:10] | No. | 没有 |
| [12:11] | -Did you see my husband? -The old guy? | -你看见我丈夫了吗 -那个老人吗? |
| [12:13] | -Yeah. -He’s in the kitchen. | -是的 -他在厨房里 |
| [12:15] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [12:20] | Well, that’s weird. | 那就怪了 |
| [12:22] | If I was a Game Boy, where would I be? | 如果我是游戏机 我会去哪儿呢? |
| [12:26] | I am so sorry. I had no idea that she was married. | 我很抱歉 我不知道她已经结了婚 |
| [12:30] | I have a firm rule when it comes to sleeping with married women. | 我有个坚实的原则 不和已婚女人发生关系 |
| [12:33] | Yeah, if she’s firm enough, he’ll do her. | 是啊 但如果对方够坚实 他就要上 |
| [12:41] | Sorry. Isn’t there something you could clean? | 不好意思 你都清洁完了? |
| [12:43] | I’m guessing you could use a good scrubbing. | 我想你可能需要把好点的刷子 |
| [12:49] | Wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [12:52] | “And suddenly I realized… | 突然间 我意识到 |
| [12:55] | …I might have left it in my mom’s car.” | 我可能把它忘到我妈的车上了 |
| [12:58] | Hey, Mom, did I leave my Game Boy in your car? | 妈妈 我是不是把掌上游戏机忘在你车里了? |
| [13:01] | Well, can you go look? | 你能去看看吗? |
| [13:03] | Can’t you just dry off and put on a robe? | 你不能马上擦干然后披上浴衣吗? |
| [13:06] | There’s another $25 chip in it for you. | 我还有25元的筹码给你哦 |
| [13:11] | She wasn’t wearing a ring. There was no mention of a husband. | 她没有戴戒指 所以并不知道她有老公的 |
| [13:14] | Is that supposed to cheer me up? | 你这是想让我开心吗? |
| [13:16] | No, no, no. I just wanted you to know… | 不 不是的 我只是想让你知道… |
| [13:18] | Now, now. I get it. | 好了 好了 我明白了 |
| [13:20] | You’re a nice guy, and I married a skeevy tramp. | 你是个好人 而我娶了个荡妇 |
| [13:24] | No, no, no. I mean, yeah, I am a nice guy… | 不 不是的 我是说 我是个好人 |
| [13:27] | …but I’m sure Annette is a lovely woman. | 但是我确信安妮特也是个好人 |
| [13:29] | Her name is Natalie. | 她的名字是娜塔莉 |
| [13:32] | -Really? You sure? -Yes, I’m sure. | -真的? 你确定? -我当然能确定 |
| [13:36] | Because I’ve been yelling “Annette” all night. | 因为整晚我都嚷安妮特 |
| [13:39] | Her name is Natalie. | 她的名字是娜塔莉 |
| [13:42] | Well, then maybe this is all just a huge misunderstanding… | 哦 那么可能也许是个误会 |
| [13:45] | …and I’ve been upstairs doing someone else’s wife. | 我干的可能是别人家的老婆 |
| [13:48] | Five-foot six, long brown hair, butterfly tattoo on her left hip. | 身高5英尺6 棕色长发 左臀上有个蝴蝶纹身 |
| [13:53] | Left hip, huh? | 左臀上哈? |
| [14:02] | Hold on now. A lot of women have butterfly tattoos. | 等一下 很多女人都有蝴蝶纹身 |
| [14:07] | But the one I slept with also had | 但是昨晚我睡的那个 |
| [14:08] | a little beauty mark in a certain intimate place. | 在某一隐私处有个很美的标志 |
| [14:11] | I’m not here to claim a lost wallet. | 我到这儿来不是申领遗失钱包的 |
| [14:15] | Okay, let’s just assume it’s her. Again, I am really sorry. | 好的 就当是她 再一次 我非常抱歉 |
| [14:19] | It’s my own fault anyway. | 这也是我的错 |
| [14:22] | I should’ve realized back when I married her… | 当我娶她时 就应该意识到 |
| [14:25] | …a man my age couldn’t satisfy a woman that young. | 像我这样的老头是不能满足她这么年轻的女人的 |
| [14:28] | If it makes you feel any better, I couldn’t ring her bell, either. | 如果能让你好受点的话 我也不能完全满足她 |
| [14:32] | -You couldn’t? -You don’t know me… | -你也不能? -你不了解我 |
| [14:34] | …but there’s things I don’t kid about. | 但是这种事我是不会拿来开玩笑的 |
| [14:37] | So it’s not just me. | 那并不只是我的问题了 |
| [14:40] | -That’s a relief. -Tell me… | -心中算是卸下一块石头 -可不是嘛 |
| [14:41] | …about it. I was killing myself up there. | 我都想跳楼了 |
| [14:44] | So anyway… | 那么 |
| [14:46] | …are we okay? | 我们没事了吧? |
| [14:47] | You mean, aside from the fact that you just rolled off my wife? | 你的意思 除了你刚睡了我老婆外? |
| [14:51] | Oh, yeah. We’re aces. | 是的 我们水平相当 |
| [14:55] | Good. Thank you. | 好的 谢谢 |
| [14:58] | -Can I give you a little advice, kid? -Sure. | -我能给你些建议吗? 孩子 -当然 |
| [15:01] | I was a player once, like you. | 我也曾是个花花公子 像你一样 |
| [15:04] | Do tell. | 洗耳恭听 |
| [15:06] | Does the name Tuesday Weld mean anything to you? | 周二威尔德 你听说过吗? |
| [15:11] | No. | 没有 |
| [15:14] | Joey Heatherton? | 乔依·赫斯登? |
| [15:16] | No. | 没有 |
| [15:18] | The immortal Miss Anne Francis. | 不朽的安妮·费朗西斯小姐 |
| [15:23] | TV’s Honey West. | 电视宝贝韦斯特 |
| [15:27] | -Sorry. -Well, look them up on your Internet. | -不好意思 -那你去网上搜搜 |
| [15:30] | They were all hot, and I nailed them. | 他们都很火 而且全被我搞定过 |
| [15:35] | Really. Well, kudos. | 真的吗 久仰 |
| [15:40] | But nothing lasts forever. | 但是没有什么能长久下去 |
| [15:42] | There’s going to come a time when you’ll wanna settle down. | 总有一天你想安定下来 |
| [15:45] | And I only hope you don’t make the same mistake I did. | 我只是希望你别犯同我一样的错误 |
| [15:48] | I picked a young hottie… | 我选了个青春玉女 |
| [15:50] | …because I figured I’d die in the sack with a smile on my face. | 只因为我想牡丹花下死 |
| [15:54] | That’s my retirement plan. | 这同样也是我的退休计划 |
| [15:57] | But it doesn’t work that way. | 但这行不通 |
| [15:59] | What happens is… | 事实上 |
| [16:03] | …you get your heart broken… | 你心碎难圆 |
| [16:05] | …and you wind up having coffee with some putz… | 最后你还和一些 |
| [16:07] | …who never heard of Honey West. | 根本没听说过宝贝韦斯特的人一起喝咖啡 |
| [16:12] | Got it. | 明白了 |
| [16:14] | Thanks for the advice. | 谢谢你的建议 |
| [16:16] | Well, I’ll be getting home now. | 我得回家了 |
| [16:18] | I got lawyers to call, locks to change. | 要找律师 还要换锁 |
| [16:21] | Maybe I’ll stop at the market, pick up some of those cookies. | 也许还要顺路买些这种点心 |
| [16:24] | -Here. Take the box. -Oh, thanks. | -哦 一盒都拿去 -谢谢 |
| [16:28] | Looks like I’m the big winner around here today. | 看来今天我还是这儿的大赢家了 |
| [16:35] | -Hello? Anybody home? -Hello. | -喂? 有人在家吗? -你好 |
| [16:41] | -Hello. Who are you? -Norman. | -你好 你是? -诺曼 |
| [16:43] | Oh, hello, Norman. I’m Evelyn. | 你好 诺曼 我是艾芙琳 |
| [16:46] | Is that your magnificent Rolls-Royce out in the drive? | 车道上那辆令上眩目的劳斯莱斯是你的吗? |
| [16:49] | Why, yes, it is. | 怎么了 是的 |
| [16:51] | -Are you a friend of Charlie’s? -No. | -你是查理的朋友? -不 |
| [16:53] | But my wife is. | 但我老婆是 |
| [16:56] | Did my son polish your trophy wife? | 我儿子给你擦了擦你那花甁? |
| [17:02] | Well, you seem like a very intelligent man. | 你看起来像个聪明人 |
| [17:04] | I assume you had an airtight prenup. | 我想你一定有个完美无缺的婚前协议 |
| [17:07] | Bulletproof. | 无懈可击 |
| [17:08] | You know what, Norman? | 你知道吗 诺曼? |
| [17:10] | You look a lot like my fifth husband. | 你很像我的第五个丈夫 |
| [17:13] | Really? How many times you been married? | 真的? 你结过几次婚? |
| [17:17] | Four. | 四次 |
| [17:21] | Cookie? | 点心? |
| [17:24] | “When Grandma came over, I thought things couldn’t get any worse. | 奶奶过来了 我想事情不会更糟了 |
| [17:27] | But instead of making me visit… | 但是没想到 她不仅没烦我 |
| [17:29] | …she gave my dad money to take me, my uncle and Berta to the movies. | 还出钱让我和我老爸 查理伯伯 还有波塔去看电影 |
| [17:33] | We saw the Rob Schneider movie where he plays a stupid guy. | 我们看了罗伯·施奈德的一部电影 他在里面演个笨蛋 |
| [17:36] | I had popcorn, nachos and two jumbo red Slurpees. | 我吃了爆米花 玉米片 两大杯红色思乐冰 |
| [17:39] | But as you know, you don’t buy Slurpees. You rent them.” | 但你知道 你不买思乐冰 是租的 |
| [17:46] | -Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. -Cool your jets. | -快点 快点 快点 -你的水龙头得降降温 |
| [17:49] | And if you can’t cool them, point the nozzle away from me. | 但如果你降不了 别把龙头对准我 |
| [17:55] | Oh, God. Mom! | 天呐 我的妈 |
| [17:57] | -We can’t go in right now. -Why not? | -我们现在不能进去 -为什么不能? |
| [17:59] | Because I can’t afford to send you to therapy for the rest of your life. | 因为我没钱让你余生都去看心理医生 |
| [18:03] | What’s going on? | 怎么了? |
| [18:05] | -Oh, God! -What? What, what, what? | -天呐 -什么? 什么? 什么? |
| [18:09] | Good for Norman. That’s getting right back on the horse. | 好样的诺曼 这马骑得很黄很暴力 |
| [18:13] | -There’s a horse in there? -No, no. No horse. | -里面有匹马? -不 没有 |
| [18:16] | -Well, I still have to pee. -So go water that bush over there. | -但我还是得尿尿 -那去浇浇那面的灌木丛 |
| [18:20] | “And so I did. And it just goes to show… | 于是我那么做了 它终于出现在 |
| [18:23] | …it’s always in the last place you look.” | 你最后看到的那个地方 |
| [18:25] | Very nice, Jake. | 非常好 杰克 |
| [18:27] | “Then on Sunday, we all went out for breakfast… | 周日 我们出去吃早餐 |
| [18:30] | …with Grandma and Uncle Norman. | 和奶奶还有诺曼伯伯 |
| [18:31] | I had chocolate-chip pancakes with blueberry syrup and bacon. | 我吃了碎巧克力薄饼 蓝莓汁还有熏肉 |
| [18:35] | Dad had scrambled eggs but with no yolks. Just the whites. | 老爸吃了炒鸡蛋 但只没有蛋黄 只有蛋白 |
| [18:38] | They looked like mashed potatoes. | 看起来就像碎土豆泥 |
| [18:40] | Then the kid next to us threw up his waffles. It was awesome.” | 后来旁边的一个孩子又给他的华芙饼干 太棒了 |
| [18:48] | -So, what’s new in school? -Almost got an A on my paper. | -学校有什么新闻吗? -我差点得了个A |
| [18:51] | What do you mean “almost”? | “差点”是什么意思? |
| [18:53] | Got a C. | 我得了个C |
| [18:57] | Okay, that’s… That’s fine. That’s an improvement. | 哦 那也好 也是进步 |
| [19:00] | Minus. | 是C- |
| [19:02] | Still, here’s your dollar. | 还是有进步 这是你的钱 |
| [19:06] | You’re paying him for a C-minus? | 他得C- 你也要奖励? |
| [19:08] | That was our deal. A buck for every C, a car for every A. | 我们说好了 一个C一美元 一个A一辆车 |
| [19:13] | -A car? -Safest bet in the world. | -一辆车? -全世界就这个赌注最安全 |
| [19:17] | -So, what was the report about? -What we did last weekend. | -关于什么的? -我们上周末所做的 |
| [19:24] | -No kidding? -Yeah. And guess what else happened. | -你没开玩笑? -猜还有什么 |
| [19:27] | Trevor Griffin saw a ginormous rat in the cafeteria. | 特雷弗在自助餐厅看见一只大老鼠 |
| [19:31] | Yeah, but about the paper. | 关于那篇作文 |
| [19:34] | You wrote about everything that happened here last weekend? | 你把上周末所有发生的都写了? |
| [19:38] | Well, everything but the boring stuff. | 嗯 除了那些无聊的 |
| [19:41] | Oh, this could be problematic. | 可能有麻烦了 |
| [19:43] | No, it’s called “summarizing.” | 不 那叫”总结” |
| [19:51] | -Can I see it? -Sure. | -我能看看吗? -当然 |
| [19:53] | But it’s at Mom’s house. I gave it to her to read this weekend. | 但现在在老妈家里 她这周末要看 |
| [20:00] | He’s 11. There’s no way it stands up in court. | 他才11岁 在法庭上他所说的不能当作证据 |
| [20:06] | Does this smell funny to you? | 你觉不觉得闻起来怪怪的? |