| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Pretty fancy prices here. | 价格都很贵啊 |
| [00:05] | Yeah,well,just so we’re clear, | 是啊 先说清楚 |
| [00:06] | I am picking up the tab tonight. | 今晚我来买单 |
| [00:09] | Okay. | 好啊 |
| [00:10] | This is my celebration.I invited you. | 是我的庆功会 我请的你 |
| [00:12] | Fine. | 没问题 |
| [00:13] | So don’t go grabbin’ the check. | 別跟我抢账单哦 |
| [00:15] | I won’t touch the check. | 我碰都不会碰 |
| [00:19] | I mean,if you wanna leave the tip that would be alright. | 当然 如果你想付小费 那也行 |
| [00:21] | I could do that. | 可以啊 |
| [00:23] | I…usually leave 15% | 我一般给15%的小费 |
| [00:25] | but if you wanna give 20, | 但如果你想给20% |
| [00:27] | that’s your call. | 那是你的事 |
| [00:29] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [00:31] | Unless you think it’s easier if we just split the check. | 除非 你觉得我们一人付一半更合适 |
| [00:35] | Whatever. | 随便 |
| [00:36] | Of course in,uh,in many families | 当然 不少家庭中 |
| [00:38] | if someone is celebrating some good news | 如果某人有什么好事 要庆祝的话 |
| [00:40] | his brother would insist on buying dinner. | 他的兄弟一定会坚持买单 |
| [00:44] | Then why don’t I do that. | 那就我来买吧 |
| [00:45] | But,uh,but I’ll leave the tip. | 但是 小费还是我付 |
| [00:47] | One question… | 有个问题 |
| [00:48] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:49] | Do you have any money? | 你带钱了吗 |
| [00:50] | No. | 没有 |
| [00:54] | I,uh,I left my wallet at home. | 我把钱包忘家里了 |
| [00:56] | You mean… | 你是指 |
| [00:58] | this wallet? | 这只钱包 |
| [01:05] | Oh good,you found it! | 太好了 你找到它了 |
| [01:08] | I…was looking all over. | 我到处都找遍了 |
| [01:12] | So,uh,uh,where did we leave things? You’re paying? | 那么 我们怎么买单 |
| [01:15] | -We’re splitting? -Oh,just shut up! | -你买 还是我们均摊 -你闭嘴就行 |
| [01:18] | So anyway,what’s this good news you’re celebrating? | 总之 什么好消息要庆祝 |
| [01:20] | It’s a surprise.I wanna wait till mom gets here. | 一个惊喜 我想等老妈来了再说 |
| [01:23] | Yes Jake,we see the spoon on your nose. | 够了 杰克 都看到你鼻子上挂着汤勺了 |
| [01:25] | Now stop it! | 现在拿下来 |
| [01:27] | Can you do it? | 你能掛上吗 |
| [01:28] | I don’t wanna do it! Now behave yourself. | 我不想掛 给我规矩点 |
| [01:33] | Oh! Work with me! | 噢 配合我一下 |
| [01:37] | Just wonderful! | 真是太”好”了 |
| [01:39] | You pick a restaurant that has no valet. | 选了这么一家 没泊车服务的餐馆 |
| [01:41] | I had to park 3 blocks away, | 我必须到三个街区外停车 |
| [01:43] | and then schlep here in shoes that are not made for walking. | 然后穿着高跟鞋 长途步行过来 |
| [01:46] | I’ve got a blister the size of a communion wafer | 磨出一个烧饼大的水泡 |
| [01:49] | and if mummy doesn’t get something to drink immediatly, | 要是再不立即喝点什么的话 |
| [01:52] | things are gonna get very ugly! | 老娘可就要发飙了 |
| [01:55] | Let the celebration begin! | 开始庆祝吧 |
| [01:58] | Maybe the lesson here mom | 吃一堑长一智 妈妈 |
| [02:00] | is to buy shoes that are made for walking. | 去买一双步行鞋吧 |
| [02:03] | Is it just me? | 是不是只有我想扁他？ |
| [02:06] | In a perfect world it would be. | 在理想世界里 可能是这样 |
| [02:09] | Well,anyway,I’m here | 无论如何 我来了 |
| [02:10] | so what’s your big announcement Alan? | 有什么大事要宣布 艾伦 |
| [02:12] | Jake! Get that spoon off your nose! | 杰克 把鼻子上的汤勺拿下来 |
| [02:14] | You don’t know where it’s been. | 你都不知道它刚才碰过什么 |
| [02:16] | It’s been on my nose! | 刚才就在我鼻子上 |
| [02:19] | You really must start looking at trade schools for the boy. | 得准备给这笨孩子上职业学校了 |
| [02:23] | Now that we are all here… | 现在人都到齐了 |
| [02:25] | I…have some good news to share. | 我有个大好消息要分享 |
| [02:28] | Uh,this is not gonna be out on the news stands before a couple of days, | 几天内 这个还不会摆上报摊 |
| [02:31] | but I have an advanced copy. | 但我有一份样刊 |
| [02:38] | Good doctor,good neighbor,good guy. | 好医生 好邻居 好人 |
| [02:40] | Good God! | 上帝啊 |
| [02:42] | Hey dad,you’re famous. | 老爸 你出名了 |
| [02:44] | Uh,well,not really. | 不全是 |
| [02:45] | Well,among the readers of the Tarzana Penny Saver maybe a little. | 佩妮救济街区报的读者不算太多 |
| [02:49] | Don’t forget the homeless people who make underpants out of it. | 別忘了算上 拿它做裤衩的流浪者 |
| [02:52] | Charlie! Don’t be disrespectful. | 查理 別这么损人 |
| [02:55] | Thank you,mom. | 谢谢你 妈妈 |
| [02:56] | So,how much advertising did you have to buy | 那么 你花了多少钱 |
| [02:58] | in exchange for this puff piece? | 才换来这个牛皮哄哄的封面广告 |
| [03:01] | Why do you assume that I had to buy advertising? | 为什么你觉得 我要花钱才行 |
| [03:03] | I…sit that hard to believe | 一位优秀的本地指压按摩师 |
| [03:05] | that a local newspaper might run a cover story | 成为一家本地报纸的封面人物 |
| [03:07] | about a-a successful local chiropractor? | 就这么难以置信吗 |
| [03:10] | Well,frankly,yes. | 坦白的说 是的 |
| [03:13] | Unless the local chiropractor | 除非这个按摩师 |
| [03:15] | shot 4 people to death in a mini-mart | 在一家便利店开枪打死四人 |
| [03:17] | and then turned the weapon on himself. | 然后吞枪自杀 |
| [03:19] | You know, | 知道吗 |
| [03:20] | I get why Charlie has never been able to acknowledge my accomplishments, | 我理解查理为何从不看重我的成就 |
| [03:23] | he’s a self-centered hedonist who can’t get behind anyone | 他是个极度自我的种马 从不能”落后”於別人 |
| [03:26] | unless they’re drunk and bent over a pool table. | 除非喝多了 女人趴着桌子 让他从”后面”上 |
| [03:29] | That’s fair. | 是实话 |
| [03:31] | But my own mother! | 但我的亲妈妈啊 |
| [03:32] | Yooooouuu’re up! | 到…你了 |
| [03:35] | Refusing to even fane interest. | 却没一点纯洁的看法 |
| [03:37] | I did so fane interest! | 我是很纯洁的看法啊 |
| [03:40] | You assumed I…had to buy advertising to get the article. | 你怀疑我是花钱买来的封面广告 |
| [03:43] | Well did you? | 那你花钱了没 |
| [03:44] | Neighborhood advertising is a good investment. | 地区广告是一种非常好的投资 |
| [03:48] | But that is not the point. | 但这不是重点 |
| [03:50] | Alright dear,what is the point? | 好吧 那重点是什么 |
| [03:51] | The point is | 重点是 |
| [03:52] | that I can’t even get a simple “Atta boy” from my own mother. | 我都听不到亲妈妈称赞一句”好样的” |
| [03:56] | Oh,well…I’m sorry. | 非常对不起 |
| [04:01] | Atta boy. | 好样的 |
| [04:05] | Feel better? | 感觉好点了吗 |
| [04:07] | No,I do not feel better. | 不 没感觉好点 |
| [04:08] | Did I not say it right? | 我发音准确吗 |
| [04:10] | You know what…forget it. | 知道吗 还是算了 |
| [04:12] | Let’s just order,eat and get out of here. | 我们还是点菜吃饭 买单走人 |
| [04:15] | Oh,uh,one more of these and please keep ’em coming. | 请再加点酒 喝光就加 |
| [04:18] | I’ll buy the drinks. | 我付酒钱 |
| [04:19] | U-unless you wanna split it with me. | 除非你想跟我一人一半 |
| [04:30] | And you know what else,you know what else? | 还有 还有…你知道吗 |
| [04:33] | No Alan,what else? | 不知道 艾伦 还有什么 |
| [04:35] | I cannot believe that our-our mother made us | 我无法相信 老妈居然 |
| [04:38] | carry her to her car, | 让我们背她去取车 |
| [04:41] | just because she had a teenie-weenie little blister on her foot. | 就因为她脚上 有个小小水泡 |
| [04:46] | Well,hopefully the next time we have to carry her | 希望下次我们要背她的时候 |
| [04:48] | she’ll be in a handy urn. | 她装在一个小骨灰盒里 |
| [04:52] | Oh,oh,I’ll pay for the urn if you get the cremation. | 我来买骨灰盒 如果你出火化钱的话 |
| [04:55] | Done. | 成交 |
| [04:59] | Jake! Where’s my son? | 杰克 我的儿子在哪儿 |
| [05:01] | Right here dad. | 我在这儿 老爸 |
| [05:02] | Oh,oh,good,good. | 好 好 |
| [05:03] | Uh,uh,now listen boy. | 听着 孩子 |
| [05:07] | Your old dad is not going to be here for | 你老爸不可能… |
| [05:17] | Is not going to be here forever. | 不可能永远在你身边 |
| [05:20] | And,and when I’m gone, | 当我离去的时候 |
| [05:22] | I want there to be no doubt in your mind | 我希望你能深信不疑 |
| [05:25] | that I was as proud as punch | 就是 老爸为你所有的成就 |
| [05:29] | about all of your accomplishments. | 感到无比自豪 |
| [05:32] | No matter how minuscule. | 不论它们多么微小 |
| [05:35] | Boy,you’re really plowed aren’t you? | 伙计 你真喝高了吧 |
| [05:38] | No.Your daddy doesn’t get plowed. | 不 你老爸不会喝高的 |
| [05:43] | He just gets a little bzzz. | 他只是有点恍惚… |
| [05:51] | Anyway,the-the important thing,for you to know, | 总之最重要的 是你要知道 |
| [05:56] | is how much I love you. | 我是多么的爱你 |
| [05:59] | You told the waiter you loved him too. | 你和服务生说 你也爱他 |
| [06:03] | He was a very good waiter. | 他是个优秀的服务生 |
| [06:06] | And,it’s also important for you to know, | 还有很重要的是 |
| [06:09] | that you can be anything you want. | 你可以成为任何你想成为的东西 |
| [06:12] | Anything in the world. | 世界上的任何一样东西 |
| [06:14] | No I can’t. | 不 我不行 |
| [06:15] | You’re right,that’s a crock. | 你是对的 那是胡扯 |
| [06:20] | But… | 但是 |
| [06:21] | I love you | 我爱你 |
| [06:23] | and you have cheeks like a beaver. | 而且 你的小脸真像海貍 |
| [06:26] | Now go to bed. | 去睡觉吧 |
| [06:28] | You know that | 知道吗 |
| [06:29] | we’ve been learning about alcohol abuse at school, | 我们学校里讲过酗酒过度的后果 |
| [06:32] | and if you ever need a new liver you can have half of mine. | 如果你的肝脏坏了要换 我可以给你半个 |
| [06:34] | Hey hey hey hey.I thought we had a deal. | 嘿 嘿 好像我们有约在先 |
| [06:37] | Oh yeah.Sorry dad. | 哦对 抱歉 老爸 |
| [06:42] | Best 5 bucks I ever spent. | 花的最明智的5块钱 |
| [06:46] | Now come on…let’s tuck you into bed. | 走吧…我带你去睡觉 |
| [06:49] | Why can’t my mother appreciate me? | 为什么我的亲妈妈 就不能称赞我 |
| [06:52] | A-all I wanted was one sincere “Atta boy!”. | 我想要的只是一句由衷的”好样的” |
| [06:55] | I…s that too much to ask? | 这要求过分吗 |
| [07:00] | Atta boy! | 好样的 |
| [07:06] | You know,that looks like the last of the scallops. | 那看着像是 最后上桌的扇贝 |
| [07:10] | Now all we gotta do is wait for dessert. | 下面该等餐后甜点了 |
| [07:14] | Rainbow sherbet. | 彩虹露 |
| [07:16] | Oh,that should be pretty. | 吐出来一定很漂亮 |
| [07:20] | You know, | 知道吗 |
| [07:21] | I have spent my entire life trying to please mom. | 我耗费一生的时间 去试着取悅老妈 |
| [07:26] | To make her proud of me,but no more. | 让她为我骄傲但现在结束了 |
| [07:29] | I…am done trying. | 我不会再试了 |
| [07:31] | Good for you. | 祝贺你 |
| [07:32] | Oh,uh,excuse me. | 哦 不好意思 |
| [07:41] | No. | 没出来 |
| [07:44] | You know,if you put the seat down | 知道吗 把马桶圈放下来 |
| [07:46] | it’s easier to rest your arms. | 你的手臂会舒服一些 |
| [07:50] | Oh,you’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [07:53] | You’re a wise man Charlie Harper. | 你真有脑子 老哥 |
| [07:56] | Well I do have a few pockets of specialized knowledge. | 我确实很有些 独到的生活小窍门 |
| [07:59] | Some might call it wisdom. | 有些 我称作”智慧” |
| [08:04] | And it seems warmer too. | 而且马桶圈暖暖的 |
| [08:06] | It’s further away from the cooling effect of the water. | 它远离下面的冷水 |
| [08:10] | Not to mention the residual body heat | 更別提千万次蹲坑 |
| [08:12] | accrued from thousands of ass hours. | 累积下来的体温残留了 |
| [08:18] | Wow! | 哇 |
| [08:19] | You’ve really given a lot of thought to this. | 你还真仔细研究过 |
| [08:23] | I’m thinking of writing a book. | 我正考虑写本书 |
| [08:25] | And I will read it. | 那我一定拜读 |
| [08:27] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:30] | You know what I am,Charlie? | 你知道我是什么样人吗 查理 |
| [08:32] | Yes. | 知道 |
| [08:34] | I am a pathological people pleaser. | 我是个病态的取悅別人的人 |
| [08:37] | Oh,I had an entirely different answer. | 我想的答案完全相反 |
| [08:40] | But more accurately, | 更精确一点地说 |
| [08:42] | I…am a woman pleaser. | 我是一个取悅女人的人 |
| [08:44] | No Alan,I am a woman pleaser. | 不 艾伦 我才是一个取悅女人的人 |
| [08:48] | You’re a lonely guy speckled with vomit. | 你是个吐了自己一身秽物的”娘泡” |
| [08:52] | No,I’m not speaking physically, | 不 我不是说生理上 |
| [08:55] | I’m speaking psychologically. | 我是说心理上 |
| [08:59] | With mom,with Judith. | 取悅老妈 取悅朱蒂斯 |
| [09:03] | I with every woman I’ve ever met. | 取悅每一个我遇到的女人 |
| [09:05] | I…have twisted myself into knots | 我殚精竭虑扭曲自己 |
| [09:08] | just trying to-trying to get ’em to like me. | 只是想让她们喜欢我 |
| [09:10] | I mean my education,my job,my clothes. | 我的学业 我的工作 我的衣服 |
| [09:15] | My car,my very behavior… | 我的车 我的每一个细微动作 |
| [09:19] | all chosen simply to get women to a-approve o-of me. | 都是精挑细选 目的只为了她们能认可我 |
| [09:24] | And how has that worked out for you? | 效果怎么样 |
| [09:27] | They don’t approve of me. | 她们并不认可 |
| [09:32] | But I am going to change,Charlie. | 但我要改变这种状况 查理 |
| [09:35] | I am no longer going to grovel | 我不会再卑躬屈膝 |
| [09:38] | for mom’s approval,or-or the approval of any,any woman. | 去乞求妈妈 或他任何女人的认可 |
| [09:42] | I am going to live the remainder of my life with pride. | 我的余生要活得有自尊 |
| [09:48] | And-and a quiet noble dignity. | 和一点高贵的尊严 |
| [09:58] | But first I’ll sleep with my head in the crapper. | “但首先 让我先抱着马桶睡一觉” |
| [10:28] | Can I make you some oatmeal? | 我给你做点麦片粥吧 |
| [10:31] | I got cereal. | 我吃的就是麦片圈 |
| [10:32] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [10:34] | I just thought you might enjoy something hot | 只是以为你会喜欢吃点热的 |
| [10:37] | and quiet. | 和吃起来无声的 |
| [10:40] | No. | 不用了 |
| [10:44] | Do you have a hangover? | 宿醉是不是很难受 |
| [10:45] | Yeah… | 是 |
| [10:47] | drinking that much was a stupid thing to do. | 醉酒是件愚蠢的事情 |
| [10:50] | Then why did you do it? | 那你为什么要喝 |
| [10:53] | I don’t know,Jake.Maybe I’m just stupid. | 不知道 杰克 或许我就是个白痴 |
| [10:56] | Or,maybe you just don’t apply yourself. | 或许 你就是管不住自己 |
| [11:02] | Can we stop talking for a while? | 你能收声一会儿吗 |
| [11:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:10] | Although I do like a little conversation at breakfast. | 尽管我很喜欢在早餐的时候聊天 |
| [11:15] | -Mornin’ everybody.-Ssshh.He’s hungovered. | -大家 早上好 -嘘 他宿醉难受 |
| [11:18] | Oh yeah…. | 噢 我把这茬忘了… |
| [11:20] | Well,isn’t this an ironic turn of events? | 这样的位置互换是不是很讽刺 |
| [11:23] | Me,waking up feeling all bright and chipper,and you… | “我”早上起来感觉神清气爽 |
| [11:26] | looking like a stool sample. | 而”你”看起来像坨大便 |
| [11:30] | Not a big irony fan,huh? | 不太适应讽刺玩笑 |
| [11:32] | -Charlie…-Yeah? | -查理…-什么? |
| [11:34] | Either stop talking, | 要么別说话 |
| [11:36] | or at least have the decency to kill me. | 要么请体面的杀了我 |
| [11:39] | Boy,I’m never gonna drink. | 天啊 我永远都不要喝酒 |
| [11:42] | Good job. | 做得好 |
| [11:43] | You scarred the kid for life. | 你吓著孩子一辈子了 |
| [11:44] | Now he’s gonna have to face Junior High sober. | 现在他的初中生活会”冷静到底”了 |
| [11:48] | Just tell me one thing. | 告诉我一件事情 |
| [11:50] | What’s that? | 什么事 |
| [11:51] | Did I really tell the waiter I loved him last night? | 我昨晚真对服务生说”我爱你”了吗 |
| [11:54] | You had to say something after a kiss like that. | 那样一个热吻后 你总得说点什么 |
| [11:59] | God! | 天啊 |
| [12:01] | I took care of your bathroom. | 我清理了你的洗手间 |
| [12:02] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:03] | I hope you like the smell of pine-scented puke. | 希望你喜欢松香加呕吐物的味道 |
| [12:08] | So,did I do anything else I’m gonna regret? | 那我还做了其他我会后悔的事吗 |
| [12:11] | Well,you paid for dinner. | 你买单了 |
| [12:12] | Oh,geez! | 噢 上帝 |
| [12:17] | And after we got home,there was some | 我们到家后 你还涕泪俱下 |
| [12:19] | drunken blubbering about how you weren’t gonna grovel | 说以后不会再卑躬屈膝 |
| [12:21] | for the approval of women anymore. | 去取悅女人们 |
| [12:23] | Oh right. | 对啊 |
| [12:24] | I almost forgot. | 差点都忘了 |
| [12:26] | I…had a life changing epiphany last night. | 我昨天对生活有所顿悟 |
| [12:29] | Was this before or after you yacked up a hunk of your esophagus? | 是在你吐出一堆肠子之前 还是之后 |
| [12:32] | No no,it’s no joke. | 不 这不是玩笑 |
| [12:34] | I…’ve reached a turning point. | 我到了人生转折点 |
| [12:37] | From this day on, | 从今天起 |
| [12:38] | my actions will no longer be predicated on | 我的生活不会再为 |
| [12:40] | pleasing the castrating mother figures in my life. | 取悅那些”险妻狼母”而忙碌 |
| [12:45] | What’s so funny? | 有什么好笑的 |
| [12:47] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [12:52] | I think she doubts your epiphany. | 我想她是在质疑你的顿悟 |
| [12:54] | She’ll see. | 她会看到的 |
| [12:56] | They’ll all see. | 你们都会看到的 |
| [12:57] | Starting now,I am a new Alan. | 从现在开始 我是全新的艾伦 |
| [13:03] | Oh damn! I think I wet myself. | 笑得震出尿来了 |
| [13:05] | Starting now,I will fear no woman’s disapproval. | 从现在开始 我将无视所有女人的看法 |
| [13:10] | Oh God! That’s Judith. | 上帝 朱蒂斯来了 |
| [13:11] | I was supposed to have Jake ready,she’s gonna kill me! | 我还没有给杰克准备好 她会杀了我 |
| [13:16] | Okay,starting now. | 好吧 从现在开始 |
| [13:18] | Good for you. | 祝贺你 |
| [13:20] | -Oh,I better get that.-Better wait. | -我最好去开门 -最好等等 |
| [13:23] | What she thinks of you doesn’t matter. | 她怎么看你并不重要 |
| [13:24] | The only thing that counts is what you think of you. | 重要的是 你怎么看你自己 |
| [13:27] | You’re right.It’s what I think of me. | 你是对的.是我怎么看自己. |
| [13:34] | -Alan? -I had so much potential. | -艾伦? -我很有才 好多的才… |
| [13:38] | Okay,forget what you think of you. | 好吧 忘了”看自己”这档子事儿吧 |
| [13:40] | Yeah,I’m probably too close to me to see me clearly. | 是啊 可能我靠自己太近 导致看不清 |
| [13:43] | Yeah,that’s it. | 是啊 就是这样 |
| [13:46] | Oh,do I smell like vomit? | 我闻起来像吐过的吗 |
| [13:47] | Don’t worry I’ll stand next to you,she’ll assume it’s me. | 別担心 我站你旁边 她会以为是我 |
| [13:52] | Good,good. | 好 好 |
| [13:55] | Hi Alan.Is Jake ready? | 嗨 艾伦 杰克准备好了吗 |
| [13:58] | No he is not. | 不 还没有 |
| [13:59] | You said you’d have him ready. | 你说已经给他准备好了 |
| [14:04] | Well I don’t. | 我没有 |
| [14:05] | And if that makes you unhappy with me, | 如果这让你 对我很不爽的话 |
| [14:08] | well,I don’t give a rat’s furry ass! | 我他妈的不在乎 |
| [14:12] | What did you just say to me? | 你刚对我说什么 |
| [14:13] | Nothing,I’m sorry.Jake! | 没什么 对不起 杰克 |
| [14:15] | -Starting now? -Starting soon. | -现在开始? -很快开始 |
| [14:22] | You know what that smell is? | 知道这是什么味儿吗 |
| [14:24] | Epiphany for men. | 男人的顿悟 |
| [14:30] | So,how long you have been in Los Angeles? | 来洛杉矶多久了 |
| [14:33] | About 8 months. | 差不多8个月了 |
| [14:34] | I haven’t got a single audition yet. | 一次面试都还没有 |
| [14:36] | Yes,it can be a tough town when you don’t know anybody. | 是啊 没熟人是不容易混 |
| [14:44] | So you got like a head shot or a resume? | 你有照片或简历吗 |
| [14:50] | Is he ok? | 他没事吧 |
| [14:52] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [14:53] | Sir,are you ok? | 先生 你没事吧 |
| [14:55] | I thought we came here to talk. | 我以为我们来这儿是为了聊天 |
| [14:57] | Not to each other! | 不是咱俩聊 |
| [15:06] | Alright let’s talk.What’s bothering you? | 好吧 我们聊 你在烦恼什么 |
| [15:08] | I changed my mind.I don’t wanna talk about it. | 我改变主意 不想说了 |
| [15:10] | Talk or die! | 说 或者死 |
| [15:13] | Alright. | 好吧 |
| [15:14] | I’m depressed.I…wanna change,but I can’t. | 我很沮丧.我想要改变 却改不过来 |
| [15:18] | Whenever I’m confronted by a disapproving woman, | 只要看见女人对我很不屑 |
| [15:20] | something inside me just crumbles. | 我就崩溃了 |
| [15:21] | Well,I don’t know,maybe that’s just…who you are. | 我也不知道 或许这就是真实的你 |
| [15:24] | You know, | 知道吗 |
| [15:25] | fish gotta swim, | 鱼要游泳 |
| [15:26] | birds gotta fly, | 鸟要飞翔 |
| [15:27] | you gotta crumble. | 你要崩溃 |
| [15:29] | What I don’t understand | 但我不明白的是 |
| [15:30] | is that I can intellectually see the problem, | 明明能看到问题所在 |
| [15:32] | but I just can’t do anything about it. | 我却无力可逮 |
| [15:34] | Oh,uh,excuse me,Miss | 打扰了 小姐 |
| [15:35] | can I have more of these little pretzels please? | 能再来点椒盐小饼吗 |
| [15:37] | In a minute! | 马上就来 |
| [15:38] | Okay,sorry,no hurry. | 好的 抱歉 不着急 |
| [15:41] | Look,it’s very simple. | 听着 这很简单 |
| [15:43] | You were conditionned as a child to seek mom’s approval. | 你把自己定位成 想得到妈妈认可的孩子 |
| [15:46] | You’re still seeking mom’s approval | 不断寻求妈妈的认可 |
| [15:48] | and you make every woman in the world a substitute mom. | 并把全世界的女人 都看成妈妈的替身 |
| [15:50] | But what about you? We had the same mother. | 那你呢 我们是一个妈生的 |
| [15:53] | Well I handle my conditionning in a different way. | 我的定位和你南辕北辙 |
| [15:55] | I have casual and often degrading sex with my substitue moms,but | 我和妈妈的替身们 保持随意混乱的性关系 |
| [15:59] | we’re talking about you not me,so forget about that. | 但我们说的是你 不是我 所以忘掉我刚说的 |
| [16:06] | Oh,how I’ll try. | 哦 我会试着忘掉 |
| [16:08] | But how do you deal with the fear of disapproval? | 但你怎么处理 被人蔑视后的惶恐 |
| [16:12] | I…mean you must get shut down occasionally. | 我的意思是 偶尔 你也会被別人拒绝 |
| [16:14] | Occasionally? Constantly. | 偶尔？ 经常 |
| [16:16] | Constantly? | 经常？ |
| [16:18] | Occasionally. | 偶尔 |
| [16:21] | It’s a numbers game,Alan. | 这是个随机率的游戏 艾伦 |
| [16:23] | We all want the shiny apple on top of the tree. | 我们都想要树顶上 最闪亮的那个苹果 |
| [16:26] | But,sometimes you gotta settle for one on a lower branch. | 但有时你只能得到树中间的苹果 |
| [16:30] | And of course there’s times when you just gotta | 当然 还有时候 |
| [16:32] | pick up whatever’s lying on the ground and | 你只能随便捡起地上什么东西 |
| [16:33] | put it in your mouth. | 塞进嘴里 |
| [16:36] | But,how do you manage to | 但是你怎么能持续面对 |
| [16:37] | keep going on in the face of constant rejection? | 她们连续不断的严辞拒绝 |
| [16:40] | Occasional rejection! | 偶尔的拒绝 |
| [16:43] | Okay,lesson 1: | 好吧 第一课 |
| [16:45] | look around. | 看看周围 |
| [16:47] | Out of all the women here, | 这里的所有女人 |
| [16:48] | which one do you find most attractive? | 你觉得哪个最有吸引力 |
| [16:51] | Let’s see,um… | 我看看 |
| [17:10] | Her. | 她 |
| [17:12] | The brunette? Why? | 褐色头发那个 为什么 |
| [17:13] | I don’t know,there’s just something about her. | 不知道 就是对她有种感觉 |
| [17:16] | Yeah,radiating waves of contempt. | 是啊 浑身散发着鄙视的气势 |
| [17:19] | Well you asked me who I found attractive. | 你问我谁最有吸引力 |
| [17:21] | That’s true,that’s true. | 是的 是的 |
| [17:22] | Alright,she’s your shiny apple. | 好吧 她是你的亮苹果 |
| [17:24] | Go ask her if you can buy her a drink. | 过去问问 能不能请她喝一杯 |
| [17:26] | What about the radiating waves of contempt? | 那鄙视的气势怎么办 |
| [17:28] | That’s just a defense mechanism for a little girl in a lot of pain. | 那只是忧郁小女生自我保护的表现 |
| [17:31] | Really? | 真的? |
| [17:32] | How the hell should I know? | 我他妈又怎么会知道 |
| [17:35] | The point is,you can’t let fear stand in your way. | 重点是 你不能因为害怕而不敢迈步 |
| [17:40] | Well I disagree. | 我不同意 |
| [17:42] | Are you questioning my methods? | 你在怀疑我的方法吗? |
| [17:43] | -Cause we can stop right now.-No,no I’ll do it,I’ll do it. | -要不我们立刻收手.-不 我去 我去 |
| [17:50] | Would you like some more pretzels? | 想来点椒盐小饼吗 |
| [17:52] | Well I am in the mood for something salty and twisted. | 我正想要些”又咸又扭”东西 |
| [17:56] | You’re terrible. | 你真坏 |
| [17:57] | You have no idea. | 比你想的更坏 |
| [18:03] | How’d it go? | 怎么样 |
| [18:05] | She’s really got a mouth on her. | 她真是嘴下不留情 |
| [18:07] | So she rejected you… | 那她拒绝你了 |
| [18:09] | With anatomical specificity. | 用专业的”解剖”手法 |
| [18:11] | Good. | 好极了 |
| [18:12] | Good?How is that good? | 好极了 怎么好极了 |
| [18:14] | How do you feel right now? | 你现在感觉怎样 |
| [18:16] | What do you mean how do I feel? I…feel humiliated. | 什么叫感觉怎么样 我感觉被羞辱了 |
| [18:18] | Where? | 哪儿 |
| [18:19] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:20] | Where is the humiliation? Where do you feel it? | 哪儿感到羞辱了 在哪儿感觉到的 |
| [18:22] | Well let’s see… | 让我想想 |
| [18:24] | my stomach’s all knotted,my heart is pounding, | 我的胃绞成一团 心咚咚跳 |
| [18:27] | I’m sweating like a pig. | 像猪一样汗流浃背 |
| [18:29] | Okay.End of lesson 1. | 好了 第一课结束 |
| [18:31] | That was lesson 1? | 这就是第一课 |
| [18:32] | Lesson 1 sucked. | 第一课糟透了 |
| [18:34] | Lesson 2: | 第二课 |
| [18:36] | have a drink. | 喝一杯 |
| [18:38] | No,sweetheart,have a real drink. | 不 宝贝 喝杯真的酒 |
| [18:43] | I don’t like scotch. | 我不喜欢苏格兰威士忌 |
| [18:44] | It’s okay,it’s bourbon. | 没关系 这是美国威士忌 |
| [18:46] | Oh,alright. | 好吧 |
| [18:52] | More. | 再喝 |
| [18:58] | How do you feel now? | 现在感觉怎么样 |
| [19:00] | Feel a little better. | 好了一点 |
| [19:02] | Finish the drink. | 喝完 |
| [19:03] | Can I put some Diet Sprite in it? | 能不能加点健怡雪碧 |
| [19:06] | Just finish it! | 喝完 |
| [19:13] | There you go.Now,how do you feel? | 这就对了.现在 感觉怎么样? |
| [19:17] | I feel pretty good. | 感觉相当好 |
| [19:21] | Like,you know,to hell with her.Who cares what she thinks? | 就像…去她的 谁管她怎么想 |
| [19:24] | Perfect. | 好极了 |
| [19:26] | Now go ask that chick over there if you can buy her a drink. | 现在去问问那个小妞 能否请她喝一杯 |
| [19:30] | Wait a minute,wait,that’s your big secret? | 等等 这就是你的终极秘诀 |
| [19:32] | Alcohol? | 酒精 |
| [19:33] | Ssshh,don’t tell anybody. | 嘘 別告诉任何人 |
| [19:38] | Bu-bu-but isn’t that just a temporary solution? | 这只是一个暂时的办法啊 |
| [19:40] | It’s only temporary if you stop drinking. | 你不停止喝酒 它就不是暂时 |
| [19:43] | I like it! | 我喜欢 |
| [19:49] | Diet Sprite! | 健怡雪碧 |
| [19:59] | I gotta hand it to you Alan. | 我不得不夸你 艾伦 |
| [20:01] | Most guys would be off scallops for a long time. | 一般人吐过一次扇贝就很久不碰了 |
| [20:05] | I like scallops. | 我喜欢扇贝 |
| [20:07] | Clearly they don’t like you. | 很明显它们并不喜欢你 |
| [20:10] | I guess you choose your seafood like you choose your women. | 你选择海鲜 就像选择女人 |
| [20:13] | I beg to differ. | 我有不同意见 |
| [20:15] | When it comes to women, | 如果是女人 |
| [20:17] | I make them sick. | 我会让她们呕吐 |
| [20:22] | Fair enough. | 意见接受 |
| [20:24] | So,what else did we learn tonight? | 那么 今晚我们还学到些什么 |
| [20:26] | Now,let’s see… | 让我想想 |
| [20:28] | I learned that-that to overcome my fear of rejection, | 我学到了 如果要克服 |
| [20:32] | engrained in me by an emotionally distant mother, | 冷面老妈的冷嘲热讽给我带来的深深惶恐 |
| [20:35] | I need to completely disable my central nervous system with | 就必须让我的中枢神经 |
| [20:39] | semi-lethal quantities of alcohol. | 彻底接受 半致死剂量酒精的狂轰乱炸 |
| [20:43] | Bravo! | 精彩 |
| [20:46] | Hey Charlie,you’re comin’ to bed or what? | 查理 还睡不睡了 |
| [20:49] | I’ll be there in a second. | 我马上来 |
| [20:50] | What are you looking at? | 你在看什么 |
| [20:51] | Sorry,very sorry. | 抱歉 非常抱歉 |
| [20:55] | So,how ‘ve you been? | 妹纸 你好啊 |
| [21:00] | It worked. | 成功了 |
| [21:02] | I am totally humiliated and I don’t care. | 我被彻底羞辱了 却一点不在乎 |
| [21:06] | You made real progress tonight Alan.I’m proud of ya. | 今晚你进步神速 艾伦 我为你骄傲 |
| [21:09] | Thanks Charlie.You-You’re a-you’re a good teacher. | 谢谢你 查理 你是一个好老师 |
| [21:11] | An-and a good brother. | 也是好兄弟 |
| [21:13] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [21:16] | Well, | 好吧 |
| [21:17] | I guess it’s time for me to go work out my issues. | 我想现在该我去”吐”点东西了 |
| [21:25] | Good night pal. | 晚安 伙计 |
| [21:27] | Nighty night. | 安 |