| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | You’re up early. | 你起的挺早啊 |
| [00:05] | Well,it’s a beautiful day,shame to waste it sleeping. | 一日之际在于晨 |
| [00:07] | Must’ve got to bed early then | 那一定是睡的早咯 |
| [00:09] | I guess. | 也许是吧 |
| [00:10] | Well,you know what they say. | 你知道人们怎么说的吗 |
| [00:13] | Early to bed,early to rise,makes a man healthy, | 早睡早起 身体好 |
| [00:15] | wealthy and can’t get laid,huh? | 变有钱 还不能嗨咻 是吧? |
| [00:19] | Maybe I’m not trying. | 也许是我不想呢 |
| [00:20] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [00:21] | And look for me next month on the cover of Maxim. | 下个月我就能上Maxim杂志封面 |
| [00:25] | I’ll have nothing on but the vacuum. | 一丝不掛 就拿个吸尘器 |
| [00:30] | Hey,you’re up early | 嗨 你起的挺早啊 |
| [00:31] | Yes,Alan,I’m up early. | 是的 艾伦 我起的很早 |
| [00:33] | I went to bed early and I slept alone. | 我睡的很早 而且是一个人睡 |
| [00:35] | Anything else you wanna know? | 你还想知道什么? |
| [00:37] | Was I this cranky when I wasn’t having sex? | 我没有性生活的时候 有这么暴躁吗? |
| [00:40] | No,you were more of a sullen whiner. | 不 你更像个闷闷不乐的怨妇 |
| [00:43] | Okay,Huggy Bear,I gotta go | 好了 抱抱熊 我要走了 |
| [00:45] | Oh,all right,Kandi,have a good day. | 好的 康迪 玩的开心 |
| [00:47] | Yo,Daisy Mae. | 嗨 黛西·梅 |
| [00:50] | Just out of curiosity,when you leave here,where is it you go? | 只是好奇 你出去后要去哪儿? |
| [00:54] | To the gym. | 去体育馆 |
| [00:55] | I have to take care of my body because it’s my instrument. | 我要去锻炼身材 这是我的工具[双关 乐器] |
| [00:59] | Mine too. | 我的也是 |
| [01:01] | Three beers and a bratwurst and my ass turns into a French horn. | 三杯啤酒 一根腊肠下肚 我的屁股就成圆号了[放屁] |
| [01:07] | Really? | 真的? |
| [01:08] | Whenever I have beer and bratwurst I just fart a lot. | 我喝啤酒吃腊肠 就只会放屁 |
| [01:12] | Okay.Okay,Kandi,well,I’ll see you tonight. | 好了 康迪 晚上见 |
| [01:15] | Bye,everybody. | 再见 各位 |
| [01:17] | Congratulations,Alan. | 恭喜你 艾伦 |
| [01:18] | It looks like you’ve officially boinked her brains out. | 看起来你终于把她脑袋”干”傻了 |
| [01:22] | Okay,so she’s not overly sophisticated. | 好吧 她不是很世故 |
| [01:25] | Sophisticated? | 世故? |
| [01:26] | She’s two marbles rolling around in a tin can. | 她的铁皮脑袋里就是2个珠子来回打转 |
| [01:29] | Hey,hey,she’s got a great heart,she’s warm and loving. | 嘿 她有著宽广的心胸 热情而可爱 |
| [01:33] | And she genuinely cares for me | 而且她真诚待我 |
| [01:35] | I stand corrected. | 我更正 |
| [01:37] | One marble. | 一个珠子 |
| [01:41] | Look,buddy,I’m happy you finally found an | 听着 伙计 我很高兴你终于找到了 |
| [01:43] | instrument to play that isn’t in your own pants. | 玩乐的”乐器” 不是裤子里那个 |
| [01:47] | But she’s been spending a lot of time here. | 但是她在这里待的时间太长了 |
| [01:49] | If you’re not careful,she’s gonna wanna move in. | 如果一个不小心 她很快就会搬进来的 |
| [01:53] | Would that be so bad? | 这有什么不好的? |
| [01:54] | Hey,I don’t have a lot of rules around here | 嘿 我这儿没什么太多的规矩 |
| [01:57] | but nine of the top ten are just different ways of saying: | 但前十条里九条都是换着法儿在说 |
| [02:00] | “Women are not allowed to live here.” | “女人不得住在这里” |
| [02:03] | They come and they go. | 她们来了又去 |
| [02:05] | Often they do one of those multiple times, | 经常来来回回好些次 |
| [02:07] | but in the end they always go. | 但是最终她们都会走的 |
| [02:09] | But why is that so important? | 但是这有什么重要的? |
| [02:12] | Alan,there’s a natural balance in this house,which must not be upset. | 艾伦 这个房子里有著无法变更的自然平衡 |
| [02:16] | It’s like the Amazon rain forest. | 像是亚马逊雨林 |
| [02:18] | You bring in one too many spider monkeys you’re up to your ass in tree frogs. | 如果引进太多的蛛猴还没等你注意 已经遍地都是树蛙了 |
| [02:23] | Oh tree frogs. | 哦 树蛙 |
| [02:24] | That clears up everything. | 明白了 |
| [02:25] | Don’t patronize me,you hump-happy simpleton. | 不要敷衍我 你这个自我陶醉的笨蛋 |
| [02:28] | You know what I’m saying | 你知道我在说什么 |
| [02:30] | I do.If Kandi were to move in here | 我知道 你是说如果康迪住进来的话 |
| [02:33] | it would be an environmental disaster of epic proportions | 将会带来大面积的环境灾害 |
| [02:35] | Exactly. | 完全没错 |
| [02:36] | I guess,it’s bad time to tell you that | 我猜 现在不该告诉你 |
| [02:38] | She’s been living here the past three weeks. | 她过去三周都住在这里 |
| [02:41] | What? | 什么? |
| [02:41] | Who’s the simpleton now? | 现在谁成笨蛋了? |
| [02:45] | Kandi got evicted from her apartment three weeks ago and she moved in here. | 康迪三周前被赶出公寓 然后搬进这里 |
| [02:49] | Oh,please,if a woman was living in my own house for that long… | 拜托 如果有女人在我房子里住了这么久 我想我会注意到的 |
| [02:52] | …I think I’d notice. | 真的?真的吗? |
| [02:54] | Oh,really?Really?Well,let’s try a little experiment. | 我们来做个小试验 |
| [02:58] | What color is the couch in the living room? | 客厅里的沙发是什么颜色的? |
| [03:02] | The couch? | 沙发? |
| [03:04] | No peeking. | 不准偷看 |
| [03:05] | What color is it? | 什么颜色? |
| [03:07] | Well,it’s kind of a… | 呃…是… |
| [03:11] | Beige…ish.. | 米色 |
| [03:18] | Tan. | 棕褐色 |
| [03:20] | You sure? | 确定吗? |
| [03:21] | Yeah,I’m sure. | 是的 肯定没错 |
| [03:22] | Go look | 去看看吧 |
| [03:24] | Fine. | 好啊 |
| [03:32] | What the hell is that? | 这是什么鬼东西? |
| [03:34] | Your couch. | 你的沙发 |
| [03:36] | Jake spilled grape juice on it last summer.I had it reupholstered. | 今年夏天杰克把葡萄汁洒到上面了 我重新装过椅面 |
| [03:39] | Last summer? | 今年夏天? |
| [03:40] | Yeah,it was gone almost a month. | 是啊 差不多过了一个月了 |
| [03:43] | Berta and I bet on how long it would take you to notice. | 波塔和我打赌你多久才会发现 |
| [03:45] | I had 50 bucks on never. | 我赌50元 永远不会发现 |
| [03:48] | All right,all right this is unacceptable. | 好吧 好吧 真是让人难以接受 |
| [03:51] | This is my house and if furniture’s gonna get reupholstered or | 这是我的房子 如果家俱需要翻新 |
| [03:54] | moved or changed in any way whatsoever,I demand to be consulted. | 或是挪窝 或是更换 无论什么 都要跟我商量 |
| [03:58] | -Okay,from now on.I promise -Thank you. | -好的 从现在开始 我保证 -谢谢 |
| [04:04] | I bought the damn thing. | 这可是我买的 |
| [04:06] | Think I’d have a vote,maybe show me a swatch. | 我应该有发言权的 该给我看看样品布条什么的 |
| [04:13] | Hey,wait a minute,did somebody say Kandi’s living here? | 嘿 等一下 谁说康迪住在这里来着? |
| [04:45] | Boy,am I thirsty. | 天哪 渴死我了 |
| [04:47] | That’s because you sweat so much during sex. | 那是因为你嗨咻的时候流太多汗了 |
| [04:51] | I may not have the biggest boat in the marina. | 也许我的船在码头算不上最大的[意指 小弟弟] |
| [04:53] | But nobody rows harder than me. | 但没人像我划的那么卖力 |
| [04:57] | You have a boat? | 你有船? |
| [04:59] | -No,sweetie,what I meant was… -Hey,hey,hey. | -没有 宝贝 我说的是 -嘿 嘿 |
| [05:02] | Some of us don’t wanna hear about your little dinghy. | 这儿有人不想听你说你的小船 |
| [05:06] | Oh,hi,Charlie | 嗨 查理 |
| [05:08] | What’re you doing here? | 你在这里干什么? |
| [05:09] | I was asking myself the same thing… | 知道吗 我也问自己同样的问题 |
| [05:11] | …so I did a little research and it turns out it’s my house. | 我想了一下 答案是 这是我家 |
| [05:16] | Yeah,but I thought you were going out. | 没错 但我以为你出去了 |
| [05:18] | I did go out. | 我是出去了 |
| [05:19] | And then I came back | 然后我又回来了 |
| [05:20] | Alone? | 一个人? |
| [05:22] | No,Alan,I brought home an invisible cocktail waitress. | 不是 艾伦 我带回来 一位隐身的鸡尾酒女招待 |
| [05:26] | She’s doing me even as we speak. | 我们说话的时候 她都在给我”服务” |
| [05:29] | You’re right.There’s no way you could’ve been that cranky. | 你说的没错 你不可能会那么暴躁的 |
| [05:33] | You want some company,Charlie? | 你需要人陪陪吗 查理? |
| [05:35] | Alan can’t have sex again for at least 30 minutes. | 艾伦 至少30分钟内都不能再嗨咻 |
| [05:41] | That’s a rough estimate. | 只是粗略估计 |
| [05:44] | Thanks,but I’d really rather be alone. | 谢谢 我最好还是一个人待着 |
| [05:46] | Okey-doke. | 好吧 |
| [05:48] | Come on,I think he wants to masturbate. | 走吧 我想他要手淫 |
| [05:56] | Not for at least 30 minutes. | 至少再过30分钟 |
| [06:06] | Okay,I haven’t sampled anything from the other | 好吧 自从和感恩至死 一起旅行后 |
| [06:09] | side of the buffet since I traveled with the Grateful Dead. | 我就再也没有尝过什么好东西 |
| [06:13] | But golly Moses,she’s a muffin. | 我的神啊 她真是极品”松饼”[正点] |
| [06:18] | Interesting turn of events,huh? | 有趣的形势变化 是吧? |
| [06:20] | Your brother hitting one of your hand-me-downs. | 你弟弟搞上了你的二手货 |
| [06:22] | And you couldn’t get laid if you painted your penis to look like money. | 而且你现在的情形是 有钱也嗨咻不了 |
| [06:27] | Don’t think I haven’t tried. | 我不是没有试过 |
| [06:29] | I’m reminded of the tale of the tortoise and the hare. | 让我想起了龟兔赛跑的故事 |
| [06:33] | Isn’t there something you could be doing? | 你难道没別的事情可做吗? |
| [06:36] | Well,I could go rub some oil on her,but I don’t trust myself. | 好吧 我可以去给她身上擦油 不过怕自己把持不住 |
| [06:42] | Berta,please don’t take this the wrong way… | 波塔 不要误会 |
| [06:45] | …but it’s been a long time for me and you’re starting to turn me on. | 可是我禁慾很久了 你让我有点兴奋起来 |
| [06:50] | I’m out of here. | 我还是走吧 |
| [06:54] | -Hi,Berta -Hey,baby. | -嗨 波塔 -嗨 宝贝 |
| [06:57] | -Hi,Charlie -Hi. | 嗨 查理 |
| [07:00] | Boy,this is weird,huh? | 伙计 这真奇怪 是吧? |
| [07:02] | In so many ways. | 奇怪的事很多 |
| [07:04] | But which one caught your attention? | 看你说的是什么了? |
| [07:06] | Well,I’ve never slept with brothers before. | 我以前从未和兄弟俩上过床 |
| [07:09] | I mean at different times. | 我是说在不同时间 |
| [07:11] | And one can’t help but make comparisons. | 而且忍不住做了比较 |
| [07:15] | No kidding. | 是吗 |
| [07:17] | So how big a difference are we talking about? | 那么 有多大差別吗? |
| [07:21] | It’s huge. | 巨大差別 |
| [07:23] | -Really? -Oh,yeah. | -真的? -是的 |
| [07:26] | With you,sex is kind of like going on Space Mountain. | 和你嗨咻就像是坐太空飞车 |
| [07:29] | It’s a good ride,but there’s never any real danger. | 过程很刺激 但是没有什么危险性 |
| [07:33] | With Alan,it’s like being in the back seat of | 和艾伦嗨咻 像是坐在 |
| [07:35] | a car driven by a really smart kangaroo. | 由聪明袋鼠驾驶的车后座 |
| [07:41] | He may go up on the curb a couple times,but he’ll get you there. | 他可能会时常开出车道 但最终会到达目的地 |
| [07:47] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [07:49] | Thanks for clearing that up. | 明白了 |
| [07:52] | I’ll get it. | 我去开门 |
| [07:56] | There’s a two hour wait for Space Mountain. | 坐太空飞车要等2小时 |
| [08:02] | Hi,Mrs.Harper | 嗨 哈珀太太 |
| [08:04] | Oh,dear lord. | 噢 老天啊 |
| [08:05] | Hey,Kandi,I got Evil Dead 3 for Xbox. | 嗨 康迪 我拿了”尸变重生3″来玩 |
| [08:07] | Sweet. | 太棒了 |
| [08:09] | Kandi,maybe you’d like to go put some clothes on. | 康迪 也许你该穿上衣服 |
| [08:12] | -Why? -Yeah,she ain’t hurting anybody. | -为什么? -是啊 她又没有碍着谁 |
| [08:18] | I just don’t think that outfit is appropriate for Jake. | 我只是认为这身衣服 对于杰克来说 不太合适 |
| [08:21] | Oh,I agree. | 哦 我同意 |
| [08:23] | He would look ridiculous in this. | 他要是穿这个肯定很滑稽 |
| [08:26] | Can you get Alan for me? | 你能帮我喊一下艾伦吗? |
| [08:28] | He’s not back from work yet | 他还没有下班 |
| [08:30] | He’s not?Then what are you doing here? | 他不在?那你在这里干什么? |
| [08:32] | I live here now. | 我现在住在这里 |
| [08:33] | Didn’t Alan tell you? | 艾伦没有告诉你吗? |
| [08:34] | No,he did not. | 不 他没说 |
| [08:36] | -Charlie,I wanna talk to you -Good to know. | -查理 我想跟你谈谈 -知道了 |
| [08:40] | Charlie,get over here. | 查理 过来一下 |
| [08:44] | It was nice seeing you,Mrs.Harper. | 见到你很高兴 哈珀太太 |
| [08:50] | What in God’s name does she see in him? | 看在上帝的份上 她看上他哪儿了? |
| [08:52] | Well,I don’t have all the details,Mrs.Harper. | 我不是很清楚 哈珀太太 |
| [08:56] | But apparently when he’s not being emasculated… | 但是显然 要不是他每日 |
| [08:58] | and demoralized on a daily basis,he’s quite the lover. | 被阉受挫 他还是个不错的情人 |
| [09:02] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 那是什么意思? |
| [09:03] | You know what they say. | 你知道那谚语吗 |
| [09:04] | Your average man’s like a good field mule. | 男人一般像是耕地的驴 |
| [09:06] | If you don’t beat him,he’ll keep plowing all day long. | 如果不打他 他就一整天都在耕地 |
| [09:09] | Nobody says that | 不是这么说的吧 |
| [09:11] | You’re hard to fool. | 你挺难糊弄的 |
| [09:15] | Look,I don’t mean to be rude,but I’m tired of talking to you. | 恕我失礼 但我懒得跟你说了 |
| [09:27] | Had an interesting chat with your ex-wife today | 我今天和你前妻聊了一下 |
| [09:29] | Oh,can’t we just have a nice dinner? | 我们就不能痛痛快快吃顿饭吗? |
| [09:32] | I like her | 我喜欢她 |
| [09:34] | Why? | 什么? |
| [09:37] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [09:39] | Well,unlike most ex-wives I’ve known | 不像大多数我所瞭解的前妻那样 |
| [09:42] | she’s never tried to run me over with her car. | 她从决不会开车从我身上碾过去 |
| [09:47] | Okay,new dinner conversation. | 好吧 换个晚餐话题 |
| [09:49] | Jake,how was school? | 杰克 学校怎么样? |
| [09:51] | I don’t think this conversation’ll make you any happier,Dad. | 我可不认为这谈话会让你更开心 老爸 |
| [09:56] | What now? | 又怎么了? |
| [09:57] | We had a surprise test today. | 今天有个突击测验 |
| [09:59] | -And? -I was really surprised. | -然后呢? -我被突击著了 |
| [10:03] | So,in other words,you weren’t prepared. | 那么 换句话说 就是你没有准备 |
| [10:05] | You can’t prepare for a surprise,Dad. | 老爸 你怎么为突击做准备 |
| [10:08] | New conversation? | 再换个话题? |
| [10:11] | Jake,what are we gonna do? | 杰克 要怎么办才好? |
| [10:12] | You’ve really fallen behind this year. | 你今年真的落后不少 |
| [10:14] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [10:15] | I think it’s a delayed reaction to your divorce. | 我认为这是你们离婚的延迟反应 |
| [10:20] | Yeah.It took a while, | 奏效了一阵 |
| [10:21] | but my teachers have finally stopped feeling sorry for me. | 但老师终于不再对我表示同情了 |
| [10:25] | You know,I’m a child of divorce too,Jake. | 知道吗 杰克 我父母也离婚了 |
| [10:28] | Really? | 真的? |
| [10:29] | How old were you when your parents split up? | 你父母分手时 你几岁了? |
| [10:30] | -Twenty-two -But you’re 22 now. | -22 -但是 你现在就是22岁 |
| [10:33] | Twenty-two and a half. | 22岁半 |
| [10:35] | Boy,what I’d give to be 22 again. | 天哪 怎样才能再回到22岁呢 |
| [10:41] | New subject? | 再换个话题? |
| [10:42] | No,no,no more conversation.Jake, | 不 不 不要再谈什么了 |
| [10:45] | if you’re finished,go do your homework. | 杰克 你要是吃完了 就去做作业吧 |
| [10:47] | I’m gonna need help. | 我需要辅导 |
| [10:48] | You don’t need help,you need to focus | 你不需要辅导 你需要集中注意力 |
| [10:50] | I’ll help you. | 杰克 我帮你辅导 |
| [10:51] | Do you know anything about geometry? | 你懂几何吗? |
| [10:53] | Well,I know it’s what you say when you turn into a tree. | 我知道 那是你变成树的时候说的 |
| [10:57] | Get it? | 对了吧? |
| [10:58] | Gee,I’m a tree. | 嘿 我是一颗树[几何geometry的谐音] |
| [11:02] | Good one. | 厉害 |
| [11:03] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [11:05] | Boy,I hope when they get to Oz the wizard has two brains to give out. | 伙计 希望你去奥兹国时 巫师能有两个脑子可分给他们 |
| [11:11] | And speaking of out,when’s Kandi leaving? | 话说回来 康迪什么时候走? |
| [11:13] | -You don’t have to worry -Because? | -你不用担心 -为什么? |
| [11:16] | I have a plan. | 我有个计划 |
| [11:18] | Alan,if history has taught us anything… | 艾伦 如果历史给过我们什么教训 |
| [11:20] | it’s that both those statements cannot be true. | 那就是 只要这么说都不管用 |
| [11:24] | It’s very simple. | 这很简单 |
| [11:25] | You give a man a fish,he eats for a day. | 你给一个人一条鱼 他吃一天 |
| [11:27] | You teach him to fish,he eats forever. | 你教会他钓鱼 他就能吃一辈子 |
| [11:29] | Okay,okay,in that example is Kandi the man or the fish? | 好了 好了 这个例子里 康迪是人还是鱼? |
| [11:34] | I found her a job. | 我给她找个份工作 |
| [11:35] | She’ll be able to afford her own place | 等过几周 她就有能力负担她的住处 |
| [11:37] | and she won’t depend on me anymore. | 不用再依靠我了 |
| [11:39] | Where is she working? | 她在哪儿上班? |
| [11:41] | She’s gonna be my receptionist | 她给我做前台接待 |
| [11:43] | That’s your plan? | 这就是你的计划? |
| [11:45] | Why?it’s brilliant. | 是吗?多么…多么聪明啊 |
| [11:50] | What,what?She’s attractive, | 怎么了? 她这么吸引人 |
| [11:51] | she’s friendly and she’s more than capable of answering the phones. | 友善 善于接电话 |
| [11:55] | You hear the expression “don’t crap where you eat”? | 艾伦 你没听过 “不要在吃饭的地方拉屎”吗? |
| [11:58] | Well,you,my friend,are dropping plunkies all over the dessert cart. | 而你 我的朋友 把餐车上拉的到处都是 |
| [12:03] | -Okay,you have a better solution? -No,no,no. | -好吧 你有更好的解决办法吗? -不 不 不 |
| [12:05] | No,it’s your girlfriend,your office,your life. | 不 那是你的女友 你的办公室 你的生活 |
| [12:08] | Screw it up however you think best. | 怎么毁都行 |
| [12:12] | I’ll get it.I’m expecting a call. | 我来接 我在等电话 |
| [12:16] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [12:22] | Kandi,that’s the TV remote. | 康迪 那是电视遥控 |
| [12:29] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [12:32] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [12:34] | Have you thought of teaching a fish to answer your phones? | 你考虑过教鱼接电话吗? |
| [12:39] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [12:46] | -Staying in tonight? -Yep. | -今晚不出门? -对 |
| [12:48] | -Giving up on the ladies,huh? -Yep. | -放弃女人了 是吧? -对 |
| [12:50] | -Not even gonna try? -Nope. | -甚至不试试? -不 |
| [12:53] | You know,I got a niece in the joint. | 知道吗 我在局子里有个外甥女 |
| [12:55] | She doesn’t look like much,but she does get conjugal visits. | 长的不算好看 但却有夫妻探视许可 |
| [13:00] | I don’t think so. | 我可不考虑 |
| [13:01] | Hold on,I might have a copy of her mug shot. | 等等 我有一张她的嫌疑犯照片 |
| [13:03] | Here. | 在这儿 |
| [13:05] | She looks a little wall-eyed… | 她有一点翻白眼 |
| [13:06] | but that’s because they had to use a Taser to get her out of the shed. | 那是因为他们得用电击枪 把她从车库里弄出来 |
| [13:11] | The shed? | 车库? |
| [13:12] | She was running a meth lab. | 她开着毒品实验室 |
| [13:14] | But you gotta admit,she is nice and slender. | 但你得承认 她人又好又苗条 |
| [13:19] | -Thanks,but pass -Think about it. | -谢谢 不过算了 -考虑一下吧 |
| [13:22] | Visiting days are Wednesdays and Fridays. | 探视日期时周三和周五 |
| [13:24] | But if you decide to go,be a sport,take her a pie. | 如果你决定要去 厚道一点 带个派给她 |
| [13:29] | Right | 好的 |
| [13:30] | Make it something chewy. | 做点有嚼劲的 |
| [13:31] | The prison dentist set her up with some real nice teeth. | 监狱的牙医给她重装了副好牙 |
| [13:54] | Okay.Now this isn’t my lamp. | 这不是我的灯 |
| [13:59] | What happened to my lamp? | 我的灯哪儿去了? |
| [14:02] | Unless this is my lamp. | 除非这是我的灯 |
| [14:06] | Yeah,this is my lamp. | 对 这就是我的灯 |
| [14:08] | I bought this lamp to go with my couch. | 我买这灯来配沙发的 |
| [14:12] | My tan couch. | 我的棕褐色沙发 |
| [14:15] | Worst day of my life. | 这辈子最糟的一天 |
| [14:17] | Yeah,well,it was no picnic for me either. | 是啊 对我来说也不轻松 |
| [14:19] | I don’t know who you are anymore | 我都不认识你了 |
| [14:21] | You wanna know who I am? | 你想知道我是谁吗? |
| [14:22] | I’m the idiot paying you $1 0 an hour to miss phone calls. | 我是每小时付你10元 让你不接电话的那个笨蛋 |
| [14:25] | Nap in the bathroom. | 你在盥洗室打盹 |
| [14:26] | Use my x-ray machine on Mexican food. | 用我的X光机验墨西哥食物 |
| [14:28] | Well,I wanted to know what’s inside a chimichanga. | 我想知道墨西哥卷煎饼里面是什么? |
| [14:31] | If you didn’t know,why’d you order it? | 如果你不知道那是什么 为什么还要点? |
| [14:34] | Because it’s fun to say chimichanga. | 因为墨西哥卷煎饼读起来很有意思 |
| [14:38] | Chimichanga.See? | 墨西哥卷煎饼 瞧见没? |
| [14:41] | So,how was work? | 工作如何? |
| [14:45] | Horrible.All he did was boss me around: | 太可怕了 他一直像个老板在支使我 |
| [14:47] | “Do this,do that,wake up.” | “做这个 做那个 醒醒” |
| [14:51] | Maybe that’s because I’m your boss. | 也许那是因为 我就是你老板 |
| [14:53] | A stupid,stinky boss. | 又笨又臭的老板 |
| [14:57] | Anybody wanna know about my problems? | 有人想知道我的问题吗? |
| [15:01] | It was supposed to be Sloppy Joes for lunch. | 午饭应该吃炒牛肉醬 |
| [15:03] | But instead they had fish sticks. | 但是他们却吃鱼串 |
| [15:07] | Well,it ruined my day. | 我一天都被毁了 |
| [15:12] | No,no,no,I’ll get it. | 不 不 不 我来接 |
| [15:14] | That’s what I do. | 我就是做这个的 |
| [15:15] | That’s all I’m good for. | 就擅长这个 |
| [15:17] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [15:19] | Oh,fudge. | 噢 该死 |
| [15:21] | Picture an entire day of this. | 想想一下 一整天这样的情形 |
| [15:24] | With six lines. | 6条电话线[电话不停响] |
| [15:29] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [15:30] | Oh,hi,Mrs.Harper. | 嗨 哈珀太太 |
| [15:32] | Oh,great. | 太好了 |
| [15:33] | Kandi,Kandi,give me the phone,give me… | 康迪 康迪 把电话给我 给我 |
| [15:35] | Back off buck-o. | 不要 |
| [15:37] | Was your ex-husband always such a control freak? | 你前夫一直都是控制欲强的怪人吗? |
| [15:41] | She says you were. | 她说 你就是 |
| [15:44] | You know what he did today? | 你知道今天他都干了什么吗? |
| [15:45] | Kandi,you don’t have to get into that with her. | 康迪 你没必要跟她说那些 |
| [15:48] | She says she wants to know. | 她说她想知道 |
| [15:53] | Well,first of all at the office he tried to make me call him Dr.Harper all day. | 首先 在办公室里 他一整天都让我叫他哈珀医生 |
| [15:57] | And when I forgot he yelled at me. | 我忘记的时候 他就冲我嚷嚷 |
| [16:00] | What? | 什么? |
| [16:02] | Chiropractors aren’t really doctors. | 脊柱按摩医生不是真正的医生? |
| [16:06] | You liar. | 你这个骗子 |
| [16:11] | I so get why you dumped him. | 我算知道你为什么会甩掉他了 |
| [16:14] | -Hey,Alan? -What? | -嗨 艾伦? -干吗? |
| [16:16] | Is this a new lamp? | 这灯是新的吗? |
| [16:18] | I would like that so much,Mrs.Harper. | 我非常乐意 哈珀太太 |
| [16:22] | Okay,I will call you Judith. | 好的 以后我就叫你朱蒂斯 |
| [16:24] | Great,I’ll see you there. | 太好了 到时见 |
| [16:27] | See her where? | 到哪儿见? |
| [16:28] | We’re going out for a drink and a little girl talk. | 我们要出去喝一杯 聊点女人间的悄悄话 |
| [16:31] | Girl talk with my ex-wife? | 女人间的悄悄话?和我前妻? |
| [16:33] | Her name is Judith,Mr.”I’m not a doctor” Harper. | 她叫朱蒂斯 “不是医生”的哈珀先生 |
| [16:38] | Don’t wait up. | 不用等我了 |
| [16:42] | You just crapped where you used to eat. | 你把屎都拉到以前吃饭的地方了 |
| [16:57] | -What are you doing up so late? -What time is it? | -这么晚了 你在干什么呢? -几点了? |
| [17:00] | It’s 3 a.m. | 凌晨3点 |
| [17:02] | Oh,well then,I got my eight hours. | 哦 那我睡够8小时了 |
| [17:06] | What are you doing,waiting up for Kandi? | 你在干什么 等康迪吗? |
| [17:09] | Oh,no,no,no. | 不 不 不 |
| [17:10] | I couldn’t sleep. | 我睡不着 |
| [17:11] | So I thought I’d read a little. | 所以 看点东西 |
| [17:14] | A furniture catalog? | 家俱目录吗? |
| [17:18] | I like furniture. | 我喜欢家俱 |
| [17:21] | Just looking at the pictures,huh? | 只是看图片 是吗? |
| [17:23] | What are you getting at,Charlie? | 你到底想说什么 查理? |
| [17:24] | I think you buy things. | 我想你买东西了 |
| [17:28] | I think you bought this lamp. | 我想 这灯是你买的 |
| [17:31] | That lamp was here when I moved in | 我搬进来的时候 这台灯就这样 |
| [17:33] | Oh,really? | 真的? |
| [17:35] | Charlie,I’m afraid that this dry streak is starting to affect your mind. | 查理 恐怕这干涸期 已经开始影响你的神志了 |
| [17:42] | Maybe you’re right. | 也许你是对的 |
| [17:45] | Sure,this is my lamp. | 没错 这是我的灯 |
| [17:46] | I’ve had it for years. | 我用了好多年了 |
| [17:48] | -The table it’s on is new -I knew it. | -放它的桌子是新的 -我就知道 |
| [17:54] | We don’t wanna wake up Mr.Alan Hitler. | 我们可不想吵醒 艾伦·希特勒先生 |
| [17:56] | No,no,Osama bin Alan. | 不 不 是本艾伦 |
| [18:02] | oops….Busted | 哎呀 被逮著了 |
| [18:04] | What the hell is going on here? | 见鬼 到底怎么回事? |
| [18:06] | The hell what is going on here is that I need an advance on my “amilony.” | 见鬼的就是 我要预支我的”养赡费” |
| [18:12] | -Why? -To pay Estefan,our limo driver. | -什么? -付钱给伊斯特凡 我们的豪华轿车司机 |
| [18:16] | You took a limo? | 你们坐的豪华轿车? |
| [18:17] | We couldn’t find our cars and we spent all | 我们找不到自己的车 就把钱 |
| [18:20] | our money on JELL-O shots,and chimichangas. | 都用来买吉露果子冻和墨西哥卷煎饼了 |
| [18:25] | All right,all right. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [18:27] | Kandi,you need to go to bed. | 康迪 你该上床去了 |
| [18:29] | We have to get up early for work. | 我们还要早起上班呢 |
| [18:30] | No,we don’t. | 不 用不著了 |
| [18:31] | Because I quit. | 因为我不玩了 |
| [18:33] | Why don’t we talk about this in the morning? | 我们为什么不 明早再讨论这个问题呢? |
| [18:35] | All right,Judith,here is you’re “amilony.” | 好了朱蒂斯 这是你的”养赡费” |
| [18:39] | Thank you | 谢谢 |
| [18:40] | Go home. | 回家去吧 |
| [18:41] | And Kandi,go to bed. | 还有康迪 上床去 |
| [18:43] | I do not wish to live with you any furthermore. | 不 我再也不想跟你住在一起了 |
| [18:46] | What? | 什么? |
| [18:47] | I have been invited to stay with my good friend Judith. | 我受好朋友朱蒂斯的邀请去她家住 |
| [18:51] | Come on,I’ll help you pack your things. | 来吧 我帮你去收拾你的东西 |
| [18:53] | Did you ever notice how much he sweats during sex? | 你知道他嗨咻时流汗有多厉害吗? |
| [19:01] | Well,good for you. | 对你来说挺好的 |
| [19:03] | Good for me?How is this good for me? | 对我好?这对我有什么好的? |
| [19:05] | You got Kandi out of the house | 你终于把康迪赶出去了 |
| [19:06] | I didn’t want Kandi out the house | 我不想赶她出去 |
| [19:08] | And I didn’t want her moving in with my ex-wife. | 我当然也不想她搬去我前妻那里 |
| [19:10] | Oh,right. | 没错 |
| [19:13] | Okay then,good for me. | 那么 对我来说不错 |
| [19:32] | -Harper? -Here. | -哈珀? -到 |
| [19:36] | I’m gonna have to check your pie. | 我要检查你的派 |
| [19:38] | Rhubarb. | 大黄派 |
| [19:40] | Oh,my girls like rhubarb. | 我家的大姑娘们就喜欢大黄派[双关 打架] |
| [19:46] | Okay,inmate 37059. | 好的 编号37059 |
| [19:49] | Down the hall,third door on the left. | 从走廊下去 左手边第三间 |
| [19:51] | There’s a button by the bed.Push it if she gets violent. | 床边有按钮 如果她有过激行为就按按钮 |
| [19:55] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [20:01] | -lt won’t open -Try it again. | -打不开 -再试一次 |
| [20:07] | Boy,you really are having a dry streak,aren’t you? | 天哪 你真是进入干涸期了 是吧? |
| [20:13] | Oh,God. | 噢 天哪 |
| [20:16] | I can’t even get laid in a women’s prison. | 我在女子监狱里都无法嘿咻 |
| [20:27] | -Hi,are you Alan? -No,I’m his brother,Charlie. | -嗨 是艾伦吗? -不 我是他哥哥 查理 |
| [20:31] | Oh,well,I’m looking for Kandi. | 哦 我来找康迪的 |
| [20:33] | She told me she was living here. | 她告诉我她住在这里 |
| [20:35] | Actually,she moved. | 事实上 她搬走了 |
| [20:37] | It’s a very funny story. | 是个有趣的故事 |
| [20:39] | -Are you a friend? -I’m her mother. | -你是她朋友? -我是她母亲 |
| [20:44] | Come on in and I’ll see if I can find a forwarding address. | 进来吧 我看看 能否找她的新联系地址 |
| [20:48] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [20:50] | Chimichanga. | 又一个墨西哥煎饼 |
| [20:53] | -Beautiful place -Thank you. | -这地方不错 -谢谢 |
| [20:58] | I see where Kandi gets her good looks. | 看来康迪是遗传了你的美貌 |
| [21:00] | Thanks,unfortunately she gets her brains from her moron father. | 谢谢 不幸的是她遗传了她白痴老爸的脑子 |
| [21:04] | Oh,right,you’re recently divorced.Would you like a drink? | 哦 对啊 你最近才离婚的 想喝点什么吗? |
| [21:10] | I would love one. | 非常乐意 |
| [21:13] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [21:14] | Why don’t you step out on to the deck,and I’ll be right there. | 不如你去阳台等我 我马上就过去 |
| [21:21] | Good news,it’s raining out on my deck. | 好消息 我的阳台上下雨了 [有女人解渴了] |
| [21:24] | Say what? | 你说什么? |
| [21:26] | The dry streak is over. | 我的干涸期结束了 |
| [21:28] | So,what am I supposed to do with this pie? | 那我这个派可怎么办? |