| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Kandi, Kandi, listen to me. | 康迪, 康迪,听我说 |
| [00:04] | Our divorce does not have to be adversarial. | 咱们离婚也不必弄得那么”敌对” |
| [00:07] | Bet she won’t know that word. | 我打赌她压根儿不知道那词啥意思 |
| [00:08] | No, not ads for cereal. | 不 不是 “麦片广告” |
| [00:13] | Told you. | 我就说了 |
| [00:14] | Do you know it? | 那你知道意思吗? |
| [00:16] | That wasrt the bet. | 我可没打这个赌 |
| [00:17] | Oh, come on, | 噢 得了吧 |
| [00:19] | you’re being very unfair. | 你这样不公平 |
| [00:20] | I love Chester as much as you do. | 我跟你一样爱切斯特 |
| [00:22] | Oh. Oh, really? | 哦 真的吗 |
| [00:23] | Then maybe you can explain to me | 那好吧 你说说看 |
| [00:25] | why I’m the one who feeds Chester, | 为什么总是我喂切斯特 |
| [00:27] | gives Chester tick baths | 我给他洗澡捉虱子 |
| [00:28] | and cleans up when Chester piddles on the rug. | 每回他在地毯上撒尿总是我清理? |
| [00:30] | When did you change your name to Chester? | 你什么时候也改名叫切斯特? |
| [00:36] | It’s not just me. Jake loves that dog too. | 不光是我 杰克也很喜欢那只狗 |
| [00:39] | No, I don’t. | 不 我可不喜欢 |
| [00:41] | He slobbers and he threw up in my shoe. | 他老流口水 还往我的鞋子里呕吐 |
| [00:44] | I had a date like that once. | 有一回我约会时也碰到了这种事 |
| [00:47] | You think it would’ve slowed me down, but no. | 你认为这样就可以让我分心吗 不会 |
| [00:51] | All right. Can I at least talk to him? | 好吧 好吧 你至少让我和他讲会儿话吧 |
| [00:53] | My father talks to dogs | 我老爸要和一只狗讲话 |
| [00:55] | and they send me to a psychologist. | 他们还把我往心理医生那儿送 |
| [00:57] | Hello, Chester? | 你好吗 切斯特? |
| [00:59] | It’s Daddy. | 是爸爸 |
| [01:01] | Who’s a good boy? | 谁是乖孩子? |
| [01:03] | You’re a good boy. | 你就是个乖孩子 |
| [01:05] | Yes, you are. | 是 你是的 |
| [01:07] | Yes, you are. Yes, you | 是的 你是个… |
| [01:09] | Kandi, I wasrt finished. | 康迪 我还没说完呢 |
| [01:11] | Yeah, well, I have rights here. | 怎么 我有权利这么做 |
| [01:13] | And I intend to pursue those rights | 而且我会想尽一切办法 |
| [01:15] | with all the means at my disposal. | 去争取这些权利的 |
| [01:18] | Yeah. Well, okay. Okay. Goodbye. | 是 好吧 好 好 再见 |
| [01:22] | -Alan? -Yeah? | -艾伦? -什么事? |
| [01:24] | Who’s a moron? | 谁是笨蛋? |
| [01:26] | You’re a moron. | 你是笨蛋 |
| [01:27] | Yes, you are. Yes, you are. | 是 你是 是 你是 |
| [01:31] | Well, it may be funny to you, | 好了 这对你来说可能很好笑 |
| [01:33] | but that dog means a lot to me. | 但是那只狗对我很重要 |
| [01:35] | This about the dog | 你指的究竟是那只狗 |
| [01:36] | or is it about Kandi? | 还是康迪? |
| [01:37] | It’s about the dog. | 我指的是那只狗 |
| [01:39] | I mean, | 我是说 |
| [01:40] | we bought a condo. She’s keeping it. | 我们买的那套房子归她了 |
| [01:42] | We bought a car. She’s keeping it. | 我们买的车也归她了 |
| [01:43] | What do I get to keep? | 我得到什么了? |
| [01:44] | Certainly not your dignity. | 肯定不是你的尊严 |
| [01:48] | Okay, let’s look at the big picture. | 好吧 咱们从头看看吧 |
| [01:50] | You’re a middle-aged guy | 你已经人到中年 |
| [01:52] | who married a stupid woman half his age | 娶了个只有你一半大的笨女人 |
| [01:54] | for no other reason than the sex was great. | 只是因为性生活很”和谐” |
| [01:56] | You with me so far? | 你同意我说的吗? |
| [01:57] | Yeah. Good. | 是 |
| [01:58] | Then you ran out of money, | 好的 现在你花光了钱 |
| [02:01] | she got bored and threw you out. | 她感到厌倦了就一脚把你给踢了 |
| [02:03] | What’s your point? | 你这话的重点是什么? |
| [02:04] | Why does everything need a point? | 为什么每件事都得有个”重点”呢 |
| [02:06] | Why can’t I just make fun of you? | 为什么不能只是我想笑话你? |
| [02:08] | I want my dog, Charlie. | 我想要我的狗 查理 |
| [02:11] | There will be other dogs. | 会有其他狗的… |
| [02:13] | Not in my house. | 但不是在我的房子里 |
| [02:16] | Just remember, | 记住一条: |
| [02:18] | the worst thing you can do is fight over who gets what. | 最差劲的事是跟她争东西 |
| [02:20] | The trick is to give her everything. | 诀窍是把全部东西都给她 |
| [02:22] | Everything? | 全部? |
| [02:23] | Whatever she wants. | 她想要什么就给什么 |
| [02:24] | When all is said and done | 因为在一切都过去之后 |
| [02:25] | you’ll get the thing that matters most. | 你会得到最重要的东西 |
| [02:27] | The thing you can’t put a price on. | 那不是能用钱来衡量的 |
| [02:29] | My dignity? | 我的尊严 |
| [02:30] | Oh, stop it. | 哦 得了 |
| [02:31] | That ship has sailed. | 现在提这个已经迟了 |
| [02:35] | No, no, no, | 不 不 不 |
| [02:36] | the thing you get is freedom. | 你得到的是自由 |
| [02:38] | The opportunity to start over. | 一个重新开始的机会 |
| [02:41] | Maybe a little sadder, but a whole lot wiser. | 这可能会让人有点伤感 但很明智 |
| [02:43] | The next time you meet a woman | 下次你碰到某个女人的时候 |
| [02:45] | And trust me, you will. | 相信我 你会– |
| [02:47] | You’ll have a real shot at true and lasting happiness. | 你会真正坠入情网并且获得 一份真实长久的幸福 |
| [02:50] | I want my dog. | 我要我的狗 |
| [02:54] | Well, good luck with that | 那好 祝你好运 |
| [02:56] | because I was lying about the other stuff. | 我还有点别的事要忙 |
| [03:28] | Why don’t we share custody of Chester? | 听着 为什么不和我轮流照看切斯特呢? |
| [03:30] | You know, you get one week and I get one week. | 就是 你看一个星期我看一个星期 |
| [03:33] | It doesn’t make any difference. | 这没有任何不同之处 |
| [03:35] | Dog weeks and people weeks are the same thing. | 换着看小孩和小狗是一回事嘛 |
| [03:41] | Hey, Dad, how come you don’t give me an allowance? | 嘿 老爸 你干吗不给我零花钱呢 |
| [03:43] | Your mother gives you an allowance. | 因为你妈妈给了 |
| [03:45] | I’m trying to be fair. | 瞧 我只是想公平点 |
| [03:47] | Speaking of fair, | 说到公平 |
| [03:49] | it doesn’t seem fair that Mom has to pay me and you don’t. | 只让妈妈负担我你什么也不出 这可不公平 |
| [03:51] | Hang on, Kandi. | 等会儿 康迪 |
| [03:53] | Let me explain something to you. | 我这么跟你说吧 |
| [03:54] | Every cent your mother has comes from me. | 你妈的每一分钱都是从我这拿的 |
| [03:57] | So when she gives you allowance, | 她给你零花钱 |
| [03:58] | it’s me giving you allowance. | 实际上就等于我给你零花钱 |
| [04:00] | I don’t need to know how it works. | 我可没必要知道它是怎么来的 |
| [04:02] | I just need more money. | 我只是需要更多的钱 |
| [04:06] | Take a number. | 说个数 |
| [04:07] | Sorry, go ahead. | 对不起 接着说 |
| [04:08] | Six. | 六块 |
| [04:14] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [04:15] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [04:16] | If Chester’s gonna live anywhere full time, | 瞧 要是切斯特在哪都可以生活 |
| [04:18] | I don’t see why it shouldn’t be here. | 为什么他不能在这儿呢 我不明白 |
| [04:20] | I do. I see why. | 我明白 我知道为什么 |
| [04:24] | When he split with your mother, | 他和你妈分手的时候 |
| [04:25] | did they fight over your custody? | 他们也是像这样争夺你的监护权的吗 |
| [04:27] | They still do. “You take him. “ | 他们现在还老这样 “他归你” |
| [04:29] | “No, you take him. “ | “不 他归你” |
| [04:30] | Okay. Okay. Okay, fine. | 好吧 好 好 好极了 |
| [04:33] | You want this to get ugly? | 你想让问题变复杂对吗 |
| [04:34] | You wanna play hardball? | 你想要来点硬的对吗 |
| [04:35] | I will play hardball. | 我会的 我会不择手段的 |
| [04:37] | How come you don’t give me an allowance? | 你为什么不给我点零花钱? |
| [04:39] | What are you, drunk? | 怎么 你喝醉了吗? |
| [04:42] | Well Yeah, well, I am gonna get a lawyer. | 是 对 我要找个律师 |
| [04:45] | I’m gonna take you to court, yeah, | 咱们在法庭上见 |
| [04:46] | and then we’ll just see who gets Chester. | 咱们看看谁会得到切斯特 |
| [04:49] | Yeah. Yeah. Well, have your lawyer call my lawyer. | 是的 是的 对 对 让你的 律师给我的律师打电话 |
| [05:02] | You know a lawyer? | 你认识什么律师吗 |
| [05:13] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [05:14] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [05:15] | What do you want, Alan? | 你想要干什么 艾伦? |
| [05:16] | Uh, oh, okay, right to it, huh? | 噢 不错 开门见山啊 |
| [05:20] | Uh, well, as you know, Kandi and I are splitting up. | 嗯 你知道 康迪和我正在闹分手 |
| [05:24] | Yeah, quelle surprise. | 是吗 这真让人吃惊 |
| [05:30] | Uh Anyhoo, I’m gonna need a good lawyer | 不管怎样 我需要一个好律师 |
| [05:34] | and I thought, you know, | 我想 你知道 |
| [05:35] | who better than the rabid jackal | 那个比得狂犬病的胡狼更厉害的律师 |
| [05:38] | who ripped my lungs out in my first divorce? | 就是我第一次离婚时让我脱几层皮的那个 |
| [05:40] | You want my lawyer? | 你想找我的律师吗 |
| [05:42] | Well, I certainly don’t want mine. | 啊 我当然不想找我自己的 |
| [05:45] | Gee, I’m sorry, but I can’t give him to you. | 哦 艾伦 对不起 可我不能把他介绍给你 |
| [05:47] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [05:49] | Because I already gave him to Kandi. | 我跟 康迪说好要介绍给她了 |
| [05:50] | You’re joking, right? | 你在开玩笑 对吧 |
| [05:53] | No, I’m smiling, but I’m not joking. | 我是在笑 但不是在开玩笑 |
| [05:56] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么要那么做 |
| [05:59] | I don’t know. Kicks. | 我不知道 |
| [06:02] | Oh, Judith, when did you start hating me so much? | 噢 朱迪丝 你什么时候开始这么恨我了 |
| [06:05] | Well, let’s see. I disliked you when we were married. | 让我看看 我们结婚的时候我很讨厌你 |
| [06:08] | I resented you when we divorced. | 我们离婚的时候我怨过你 |
| [06:10] | But I don’t think I hated you | 但是没恨你 |
| [06:11] | until you started having sex with that gorgeous 22-year-old dumbbell. | 后来你竟然跟那个22岁的 超级笨蛋发生关系 |
| [06:15] | Okay, well, thanks for clearing that up. | 好吧 那么 谢谢你解释这一切 |
| [06:17] | Okay, bye-bye. | 再见 |
| [06:24] | Look, if you really wanna make some extra cash | 瞧 你要是想赚点外快的话 |
| [06:26] | we can find some chores for you to do. | 我肯定咱们能给你找点家务活干 |
| [06:29] | Oh, yeah, there’s big money in that. | 哦 是的 那里面有很多油水可捞呢 |
| [06:33] | What kind of chores? | 干些什么活? |
| [06:34] | Well, let’s see. | 好吧 让我看看 |
| [06:36] | You could take out the garbage, | 你可以整理一下我的车库 |
| [06:38] | sweep up the garage, wash my car. | 打扫一下 洗洗车什么的 |
| [06:40] | No, none of those sound good. | 不 这听起来可不像什么好主意 |
| [06:46] | Tell you what. | 知道吗 |
| [06:48] | I’ll give you 10 bucks | 我付你十块 |
| [06:52] | if you can eat this entire tub of ice cream | 只要你能在20分钟里 |
| [06:54] | in less than 20 minutes. | 把这罐冰淇淋全都吃下去 |
| [06:55] | Okay. Charlie, that’ll shoot out of him | 好吧 |
| [06:56] | like Ben & Jerry on rocket skates. | 查理 那样会让他很快 |
| [07:02] | Here. Eat these instead. | 来 换吃这个吧 |
| [07:04] | By the time they get through you, | 到你全都吃完的时候 |
| [07:06] | it will be your mother’s problem. | 就该你妈来管了 |
| [07:09] | All of them in 20 minutes, right? | 20分钟全部吃完 对吗 |
| [07:11] | Yep. | 对 |
| [07:12] | Then can I have the ice cream? | 吃完了能再吃点冰淇淋吗? |
| [07:16] | Uh-oh. | 哦 哦 |
| [07:30] | Alan, you should’ve called. | 艾伦 你应该先打电话 |
| [07:33] | I didn’t feel like calling. I wanna see my dog. | 我不想打电话 我想见我的狗 |
| [07:35] | Well, maybe he doesn’t wanna see you. | 那么 它可能不想见你吧 |
| [07:37] | Why don’t we let him decide? | 为什么不让它来决定呢 |
| [07:39] | No, he’s been through enough. | 不 它已经够伤心的了 |
| [07:41] | Oh, really? Did he tell you that? | 哦 真的吗 它告诉你了吗 |
| [07:44] | How could he tell me anything? | 它怎么会告诉我呢 |
| [07:46] | You know as well as I do that | 你跟我一样清楚 |
| [07:47] | he keeps everything bottled up. | 它喜欢把一切都闷在心里 |
| [07:49] | Damn it, Kandi, | 真该死 康迪, 我想见我的… |
| [07:51] | I wanna see my Don’t you yell at me. | 别对我大喊大叫的 |
| [07:53] | If you have anything to say, | 你有什么话 |
| [07:54] | say it to my lawyer. | 就对我的律师说去吧 |
| [07:56] | Maybe I will. | 我会的 |
| [07:57] | Honey, Alan has something he wants to say to you. | 亲爱的 艾伦 有话要和你说 |
| [08:01] | Hey, Alan. | 嘿 |
| [08:04] | What’s up? | 什么事 |
| [08:08] | It’s you. | 是你… |
| [08:11] | The jackal. | 那个帮凶 |
| [08:12] | Oh, that hurts. Ahem. | 哦 这真让我难过 |
| [08:16] | Listen, as long as you’re here, | 对了 既然你在这儿 |
| [08:18] | is your billing address still the same? | 你帐单支付的地址没变吧 |
| [08:20] | Uh-huh. | 恩 恩 |
| [08:21] | Great. Well, I guess I’ll see you in court. | 好极了 那么法庭上见 |
| [08:25] | Oh. And don’t worry. | 哦 别担心 |
| [08:26] | I’m not gonna bill you for this consultation. | 我不会为这次咨询付钱给你的 |
| [08:28] | There’s nothing legal going on here. | 这不算合法程序 |
| [08:37] | Un-freaking-believable. | 简直不敢相信 |
| [08:41] | It’s like watching a pot-smoking monkey. | 就像看猴子抽大烟一样 |
| [08:44] | Ten dollars, please. | 给我十块 |
| [08:46] | Serves me right betting against a kid | 我是自找的 跟一个小孩打赌 |
| [08:49] | who can eat a Happy Meal, toys and all. | 有谁能把吃大餐当消遣 |
| [08:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:55] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [08:56] | You taught me always do my own count. | 你告诉过我得自己数一遍 |
| [08:58] | Yeah, but you can trust me. | 对 但是你可以相信我 |
| [09:00] | Seven, eight, | …七 八… |
| [09:02] | nine? | 九? |
| [09:06] | It was an honest mistake. | 那是我刚才数错了 |
| [09:09] | I’m sure. | 肯定是 |
| [09:13] | So, what are you gonna do with your winnings? | 那么你打算拿这笔奖金干什么 |
| [09:15] | It’s a secret. | 保密 |
| [09:17] | So it’s a girl. | 那么肯定是个姑娘 |
| [09:18] | How did you know? | 你怎么知道的 |
| [09:19] | I didn’t. | 我不知道 |
| [09:20] | Then it isn’t. | 那就不是的 |
| [09:22] | Come on. Tell me about her. | 得了 跟我讲讲吧 |
| [09:24] | Maybe I can help. | 我可能帮上点忙 |
| [09:25] | I don’t think so. | 我可不这么想 |
| [09:26] | Are you kidding? | 你瞧不起我吗? |
| [09:28] | Who knows more about girls than your Uncle Charlie? | 还有谁比你的查理叔叔更了解女孩? |
| [09:30] | Warren Beatty, Bill Clinton, Rosie o’Donnell. | 有Warren Beatty, Bill Clinton, Rosie O’Donnell |
| [09:35] | Why should I talk to you? | 为什么我要告诉你 |
| [09:37] | You’ve messed up every relationship | 你每次谈恋爱的时候 |
| [09:38] | you’ve ever been in. | 都把一切搞得一团糟 |
| [09:39] | Well, yeah | 啊 对 不过… |
| [09:41] | So you’re not exactly a good example. | 所以你可不是一个好榜样 |
| [09:43] | I get it. If I were old enough to have one-night stands | 明白了 我是说 要是我到了可以一夜情的… |
| [09:46] | All right, you’ve made your point. | 够了 够了 你已经说清楚了 |
| [09:48] | So don’t talk to me. | 所以不要再跟我说了 |
| [09:49] | Okay. I won’t. | 不会了 好 好 |
| [09:51] | Okay. Good. | 好极了 |
| [09:57] | Will you drive me to the mall? | 你能开车送我去购物中心吗 |
| [09:59] | Why? | 去干吗 |
| [10:00] | It’s private. | 是个私人问题 |
| [10:01] | So is my car. | 我的车也是 |
| [10:04] | All right, I wanna buy a present. | 好吧 我想买个礼物 |
| [10:07] | For? | 为谁 |
| [10:08] | It’s a secret. | 秘密 |
| [10:10] | I’ll throw in another 10. | 再赌十元 |
| [10:11] | Wendy Cho Wendy Cho. | |
| [10:12] | Aha. A present for Wendy Cho. | 啊哈 送给Wendy Cho的礼物 |
| [10:16] | Now, is this an offering to grease the wheels | 哦,这是一个为了拉近关系的礼物 |
| [10:19] | or a parting gift for the wheels having already been greased? | 还是为了脱离已经拉近了的关系的礼物? |
| [10:22] | Grease the wheels? | 拉近关系? |
| [10:24] | See, that’s why I don’t talk to you about this stuff. | 瞧,这就是为什么我不要跟你说 这件事情的原因 |
| [10:28] | Well, he may be as dull as a butter knife | 好极了 他也许反应迟钝 |
| [10:31] | but you got to admit, he’s a good judge of character. | 但你不得不钦佩他的判断力 |
| [10:46] | Are you sure | 你确定 |
| [10:47] | it doesn’t have anything to do with sex? | 那个性爱没有任何关系 |
| [10:49] | Positive. | 绝对肯定 |
| [10:50] | Huh. Sure sounds like it. | 哈恩. 相信是真的 |
| [10:52] | Subpoenas. | “传票” |
| [11:03] | Hang in there, Chester. | 我来接你了 切斯特 |
| [11:04] | Daddy’s coming. | 爸爸来了 |
| [11:06] | Oh, please, please, please. | 哦 别 别 别 别 |
| [11:09] | Yes, she didn’t change the lock. | 耶 她还没有换锁 |
| [11:16] | But that’s new. | 但那是新加的 |
| [11:23] | I like those. | 我喜欢这些 |
| [11:25] | Skull earrings? | 骨制耳环 |
| [11:27] | Yeah, they’re silver and they got ruby eyes. | 是的 是银的 上面还有红宝石 |
| [11:30] | Okay, first of all, for 11.95 | 恩 首先 11.95元的东西… |
| [11:32] | those aren’t rubies. | 不可能是红宝石的 |
| [11:34] | You don’t know that. | 你又不知道 |
| [11:35] | Oh, but I do. | 哦 我明白 |
| [11:39] | And second, girls like Wendy Cho | 其次 像Wendy Cho这样的女孩 |
| [11:41] | don’t wear skull earrings. | 是不戴骨制耳环的 |
| [11:42] | How do you know? | 你怎么知道 |
| [11:44] | She gets straight A’s, right? | 她成绩一直得A,是吗? |
| [11:45] | She plays violin? | 她拉小提琴吗 |
| [11:46] | She’s also the captain of the math team. | 她还是数学组的组长 |
| [11:48] | Exactly. So you see my point? | 非常正确 你明白我的意思 |
| [11:50] | Oh, okay. | 哦 好吧 |
| [11:54] | How about that skull belt buckle? | 那个骨制搭扣的带子怎么样 |
| [11:58] | No skulls. | 没有骨制的 |
| [12:00] | Just out of curiosity, | 我很好奇 |
| [12:02] | does this Wendy Cho hate her parents? | 这个Wendy Cho很讨厌自己的父母吗 |
| [12:05] | I don’t think so. Why? | 我想不是 为什么这么问 |
| [12:06] | Just trying to get a handle on the relationship. | 只是想了解你们的关系 |
| [12:09] | She says she likes me because I’m unpretentious. | 她曾说过他喜欢我 因为我是谦谦君子 |
| [12:12] | Do you know what that means? | 你知道那是什么意思吗 |
| [12:13] | It means she likes me. | 意思是她喜欢我 |
| [12:16] | Yeah, okay. | 恩 是的 |
| [12:18] | So, what do you want this gift to say? | 那你送她的这份礼物想表达什么意思? |
| [12:20] | Uh Happy birthday? | 恩… “生日快乐” |
| [12:23] | A birthday card says “happy birthday. “ | 生日贺卡表达的意思是”生日快乐” |
| [12:25] | What are you trying to tell her by giving her jewelry? | 你送她珠宝想向她表明什么 |
| [12:28] | I don’t know. I guess that I love her. | 我不知道 我想是… 我爱她 |
| [12:33] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:34] | Nothing. That’s terrific. | 没什么 非常了不起 |
| [12:36] | Because you don’t love any girl, | 嗨 不要因为你不爱任何女孩 |
| [12:38] | doesn’t mean I shouldn’t. | 就认为我也不会爱 |
| [12:39] | Excuse me, but I have loved many girls | 抱歉 我曾经爱过很多女孩 |
| [12:41] | and many girls have loved me. | 并且很多女孩爱过我 |
| [12:44] | That’s not love. It’s just sex. | 那不是爱 仅仅是性爱 |
| [12:47] | I’m sorry, I’m not following you. | 哦 对不起 我不明白你在说什么 |
| [12:50] | If you died tomorrow, | 如果你明天死了 会有多少女孩 |
| [12:52] | how many girls would come to your funeral? | 参加你的葬礼 |
| [12:53] | A lot of them. | 非常多 |
| [12:55] | Granted, a few might show up just | 让你说中了 一些人会来参加 |
| [12:57] | to make sure I’m really dead | 只是过来确认我是否死了 |
| [12:59] | but I feel confident | 但是我确信整个丧礼的气氛 |
| [13:05] | that the overall tone of the event would be one of sadness. | 将会是悲哀的 |
| [13:07] | Lf you say so. | 你要这么说也没办法 |
| [13:09] | Yeah, I say so. | 是的 肯定是 |
| [13:11] | Now let’s get out of here. | 我们离开这里 |
| [13:13] | I haven’t picked out a gift yet. | 我还没有挑选礼物呢 |
| [13:14] | Then get her the stupid skull earrings. | 把那个烂骨质耳环送给她 |
| [13:17] | But you said she wouldn’t like them. | 可是你刚刚说她不会喜欢的 |
| [13:19] | What do I know? Nobody loves me. | 我怎么知道 女孩都不爱我 |
| [13:21] | Nobody’s coming to my funeral. | 没有人愿意参加我的葬礼 |
| [13:23] | Whoa, where did that come from? | 哦 这话是从何说起 |
| [13:29] | Here, what about this gold heart necklace? | 看 这个心型金项链怎么样 |
| [13:33] | It’s kind of expensive. | 有点贵 |
| [13:36] | You want the best, Jake, you pay for it. | 你想买好的 杰克 你就需要多付出 |
| [13:41] | I mean, I love her and everything | 我的意思是 我是很爱她… |
| [13:44] | If it means we can get out of here quicker, | 告诉你把,如果这能让我们快点离开这里 |
| [13:47] | I’ll front you the difference. | 我会帮你付清余额 |
| [13:49] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [13:50] | You don’t know? I’m offering you a deal. | “我不知道” 是什么意思? 我可是在帮你大忙 |
| [13:52] | Yeah, but you always say | 是的 但你总是说 |
| [13:53] | if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. | “太好听的话 其实是假的” |
| [13:56] | All right, how about if I pay for the whole thing? | 好吧 我帮你买下来如何 |
| [13:59] | That sounds even better. So no. | 这听起来更好,所以不 |
| [14:03] | Come on, brainiac. | 走吧 Brainiac |
| [14:05] | What do I have to do for you? | 要我为你做什么事吗 |
| [14:08] | Just promise to be sad at my funeral. | 在我的葬礼上要装的很悲哀 |
| [14:10] | Do I have to cry? | 需要我嚎啕大哭吗 |
| [14:11] | No. | 不 |
| [14:12] | Will there be food? | 那有东西吃吗 |
| [14:14] | Yes. | 有 |
| [14:15] | Can I bring a date? | 能确定日期吗 |
| [14:19] | You’re just screwing with me now, right? | 你在逼我发疯 知道吗 |
| [14:21] | How does it feel? | 感觉如何 |
| [14:27] | Still early. Wanna go shoot some hoops? | 还早 想打会篮球吗 |
| [14:29] | No, I’m gonna go | 不 我要去打电话 |
| [14:30] | call Wendy Cho. | 约Wendy Cho |
| [14:34] | Hey, bros before Chos. | 有了女朋友就忘记了兄弟 |
| [14:40] | “Thanks for the ride to the mall, Uncle Charlie. | “谢谢带我去商场 查理叔叔” |
| [14:44] | Thanks for buying me the necklace, Uncle Charlie. | “谢谢您给我买的项链 查理” |
| [14:47] | Thanks for not slugging me | “谢谢您没有捶我 因为不礼貌的表达 |
| [14:49] | when I started mouthing off about your funeral, Uncle Charlie. “ | 了您的葬礼 查理叔叔” |
| [15:25] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. | 喔 喔 冷静点 |
| [15:27] | Calm down. Easy, boy. | 冷静 别紧张 宝贝 |
| [15:28] | Charlie, what did you do to him? | 查理, 你想对他干什么 |
| [15:29] | What did I do to him? | 我对他干了什么 |
| [15:31] | I practically crapped my pants is what I did to him. | 我几乎快尿裤子了 |
| [15:34] | What the hell is that? | 这到底是怎么会事 |
| [15:35] | This is Chester. Isn’t he cute? | 这是切斯特 是不是很可爱 |
| [15:37] | Yes, you are. Yes, you are. | 是的 你是 是的 你是 |
| [15:39] | Yes He’s not staying here, Alan. | 他不能待在这里 艾伦 |
| [15:41] | With all due respect, that’s what you said about me. | 好吧 你要尊重我的权利,你说过的 |
| [15:44] | That’s because no kennel in town would take you. | 那是因为没有狗窝愿意收留你 |
| [15:48] | Oh, come on, look at him. | 哦 别这样 看看他 |
| [15:50] | How can you not love this face? | 你怎么能不喜欢这张脸呢 |
| [15:52] | Easy. I know where he puts it. | 很简单 我知道应该把他放到什么地方 |
| [15:54] | Now take him back to Kandi’s. | 现在就送回康迪家 |
| [15:57] | I can’t. | 我办不到 |
| [15:58] | Why not? | 为什么不 |
| [16:00] | Then simplify it. | 那就简单的说 |
| [16:01] | Okay, well, um | 好的 哦 恩… |
| [16:03] | I stole him. | 是偷回来的 |
| [16:07] | Oh, Alan, | 哦 艾伦 |
| [16:09] | I may think with my penis but at least I think. | 用屁股想想都知道 |
| [16:12] | You won’t have to do anything. | 别担心 你不会有任何麻烦 |
| [16:14] | I’ll feed him, I’ll walk him. | 我会喂他 会带他散步 |
| [16:15] | Walk him? | 散步 |
| [16:17] | You could hitch a wagon to him and settle the West. | 你可以给他套一辆四轮车 再驻扎到西部 |
| [16:20] | No dogs in my house. | 我的房子里不允许有狗 |
| [16:23] | Especially stolen dogs who are big enough | 更别说是偷来狗 大的 |
| [16:27] | Whoa, | 噢呕! |
| [16:28] | what the hell is that? | 那到底是什么鬼东西 |
| [16:30] | That is leaving. | 那是… 离开 |
| [16:32] | Please. | 哦 查理 求你了 |
| [16:33] | My entire life, Chester is the only thing | 在我的一生中 切斯特是唯一一个活物 |
| [16:35] | I ever slept with that didn’t sue me for alimony. | 我和他一起睡觉 不会因为生活费而被控诉 |
| [16:37] | How long you think you’re gonna get away with this? | 艾伦 你还需要多久才能摆脱阴影 |
| [16:41] | I was very careful. I left the door open so that | 我处理的非常谨慎 我把门敞开着 |
| [16:43] | when Kandi comes home she’ll think | 于是康迪回家后 她会认为 |
| [16:45] | she left it open and Chester ran away. | 她自己忘记了关门 切斯特逃跑了 |
| [16:47] | She’ll never dream of looking for him here. | 她做梦也不会找到他了 |
| [16:51] | Probably. | 可能 |
| [16:53] | Just in case, hide Chester. | 以防万一 — 把切斯特藏起来 |
| [16:56] | How am I supposed to hide him? | 我怎么才能假装把它藏起来 |
| [16:59] | Sit under him with a pail and pretend he’s a cow. | 在下面放个桶 假装是头牛 |
| [17:04] | Coming. Charlie, please. Oh, man. | 来了 |
| [17:08] | Come on, Bullwinkle. | 快点 公牛 |
| [17:19] | Alan Harper? | 艾伦 Harper |
| [17:21] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [17:22] | Yes. How can I help you? | 是的 有什么需要我帮忙的吗 |
| [17:24] | We’re investigating a stolen-dog report. | 我们正处理一宗偷狗案件 |
| [17:27] | A dog? | 一只狗 |
| [17:28] | Your ex-wife’s dog. | 你前妻的狗 |
| [17:31] | Chester? Somebody stole Chester? | 切斯特 有人偷走了切斯特 |
| [17:34] | She seems to think you might know his whereabouts. | 她认为你可能知道他的下落 |
| [17:38] | Oh, gosh, um, I’m sorry. | 哦 上帝,呃… |
| [17:40] | I have no idea. | 非常抱歉 我不知道… |
| [17:43] | Uh oh, although, | 呃 哦 虽然… |
| [17:45] | you know, what could’ve happened | 你们知道发生了什么事 |
| [17:46] | um, she could have left the door open | 恩… 她有可能忘记关门了 |
| [17:49] | She’s absent-minded. | 她经常心不在焉 |
| [17:50] | Uh, and the dog got away. | 呃 有可能就自己跑丢了 |
| [17:54] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. | 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 |
| [18:14] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [18:17] | Oh, look who’s finally off the phone. | 哦 有人打完电话了 |
| [18:19] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:20] | When are you gonna give Wendy Cho the necklace? | 那么你准备什么时候把项链给Cho |
| [18:23] | I’m not. | 不送给她 |
| [18:24] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [18:26] | You chicken out? | 你怯场了 |
| [18:27] | No. | 不是 |
| [18:32] | You dragged my ass all the way down to the mall | 你风风火火的让我带你到商场 |
| [18:34] | I pony up 40 bucks for the necklace, | 花了40美元给你买个这个项链 |
| [18:36] | and you chicken out. | 现在你不敢去了 |
| [18:37] | She just dumped me, you old turd. | 她抛弃了我 你这土人 |
| [18:43] | Oh. Well, you could’ve told me that before I started being a turd. | 哦 你应该早点告诉我 我也不会成为土人 |
| [18:48] | I’m only 12. | 我才12岁 |
| [18:50] | I need a time machine. | 我需要一个时光机器 |
| [18:52] | Ah, dude, I am really sorry. | 恩 宝贝 那真伤心 |
| [18:55] | What happened? | 发生什么事 |
| [18:56] | She decided | 她觉得有一段复杂的 |
| [18:58] | she has a problem with mixed relationships. | 关系是很麻烦的事情 |
| [19:02] | What? Chinese and Caucasian? | 什么 中国人和高加索人 |
| [19:05] | Gifted and remedial. | 天才和庸才 |
| [19:08] | Oh. | 哦… |
| [19:11] | Yeah, well, I’m done with relationships. | 是的 好 已经结束了这段感情 |
| [19:13] | From now on, I’m gonna be like you. | 从现在开始 我要向你学习 |
| [19:14] | Why would you wanna be like me? | 你为什么要学我 |
| [19:17] | Because you never fall in love with anybody, | 因为你从来不会和任何女的产生真爱 |
| [19:19] | so you never get hurt. | 也从来不会受到伤害 |
| [19:20] | Okay, | 好吧 |
| [19:23] | listen to me. | 听我说 |
| [19:26] | Being hurt sucks | 相对于受伤害 |
| [19:28] | but love is the most beautiful and noble of human emotions. | 爱情是人类情感中最美丽和最高尚的一种 |
| [19:32] | It’s what gives a man hope. | 它带给人们美好的希望 |
| [19:34] | It’s what gives his life meaning. | 赋予生命的意义 |
| [19:36] | Don’t turn your back on love, Jake. | 不要背叛爱情 杰克 |
| [19:38] | I did and I regret it every day. | 我背叛过 现在我每天都在忏悔 |
| [19:42] | Really? | 真的 |
| [19:44] | May God strike me down if I’m lying. | 如果我撒谎 上帝就霹了我 |
| [19:58] | All right, the game’s over. | 好了 谈话结束了 |
| [19:59] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [20:00] | Where are we going? | 到哪去 |
| [20:02] | Might as well bail your dad out of jail. | 保释你爸爸 |
| [20:08] | Can we get something to eat first? | 可以先吃点东西再走吗 |
| [20:10] | Sure, why not. | 好极了 为什么不吃 |
| [20:16] | How long before Kandi and her lawyer come back from Mexico? | 康迪和她的律师什么时候才能从 墨西哥回来? |
| [20:21] | Three more days. | 3个多星期吧 |
| [20:23] | Oh, God, what are you feeding that dog? | 哦,上帝,这狗什么味道啊 |
| [20:27] | It’s not the dog. | 这不是狗弄出来的 |
| [20:30] | Smells a little like banana bread. | 闻起来像是香蕉蛋糕 |