| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | You’re taking advantage of me | 你想趁我喝醉的时候 |
| [00:03] | because I’m drunk, aren’t you? | 占我便宜是不是 |
| [00:05] | Yeah, I’m a bad girl. | 对啊 我是个坏女孩哦 |
| [00:07] | Lucky for both of us, I don’t judge. | 没有关系 我不在乎 |
| [00:10] | It’s not my fault. | 不是我的错 |
| [00:12] | Whose fault is it? | 那是谁的错 |
| [00:13] | I told you. Uncle Charlie. | 跟你说了 是查理伯伯的错 |
| [00:15] | I thought you lived alone. | 我还以为你一个人住呢 |
| [00:16] | I do. | 我是啊 |
| [00:18] | I leave the Tv on to deter criminals. | 我把电视开着 让小偷不敢进来 |
| [00:21] | Charlie, | 查理 |
| [00:21] | did you tell Jake he could use your computer? | 你是不是允许杰克用你的电脑 |
| [00:24] | Just take what you want and don’t hurt us. | 你想偷什么就都拿走吧 别伤害我们 |
| [00:27] | Go ahead, tell him, Uncle Charlie. | 你快跟他解释 查理伯伯 |
| [00:28] | No one’s talking to you. | 没人跟你讲话 |
| [00:30] | Can you explain to me why I caught him watching a movie | 那你能解释一下为什么我看见他在看 |
| [00:32] | called Vanessa Does Van Nuys? | 《Vanessa在Van Nuys的激情时刻》吗 |
| [00:36] | Hey, meet vanessa. | 我来介绍一下: 这位正是Vanessa |
| [00:38] | Why don’t you hop upstairs? | 你为什么不先上楼呢 |
| [00:40] | I’ll be right there. | 我马上到 |
| [00:41] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [00:42] | Hey, Dad, can we move to van Nuys? | 老爸 我们能搬到Van Nuys去吗 |
| [00:44] | No. | 不行 |
| [00:45] | Hey, | 嘿 |
| [00:46] | -whose skateboard? -Mine. | -这是谁的滑板啊 -偶滴 |
| [00:48] | Wow, it’s really rad. | 好爽哦 |
| [00:49] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [00:50] | So’s your movie. | 你的电影业好爽哦 |
| [00:52] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [00:53] | We’re working on a sequel. | 我们准备拍续集了 |
| [00:54] | Yeah, I’m gonna do Woodland Hills next. | 名叫 《Vanessa在Woodland Hills的激情时刻》 |
| [00:57] | Hippety-hop, hop, hop. Oh, right. | 快上去 快上去 |
| [01:00] | Can we move to Woodland Hills? | 我们能搬到Woodland Hills吗 |
| [01:03] | Forget Woodland Hills. | 别提什么Woodland Hills了 |
| [01:04] | What the hell is your skateboard doing on the stairs? | 你的滑板为什么会放在楼梯上 |
| [01:05] | Hey,excuse me.We’re talking about | 嘿 别打岔 我们在说 |
| [01:06] | the dirty movie on your computer. | 你电脑上的黄片呢 |
| [01:07] | I’m sorry. I forgot it was on there. | 不好意思 我忘记关了 |
| [01:10] | You can’t forget | 有小孩子在家的时候 |
| [01:11] | when you have a child in the house. | 你怎么可以忘记这个呢 |
| [01:13] | I’m not a child. | 我不是个小孩子了 |
| [01:14] | And I don’t have him. | 而且他也不应该住在我家啊 |
| [01:16] | No one’s talking to you, | 没人跟你说话 |
| [01:17] | and that’s no excuse. | 那不是借口哦 |
| [01:18] | Look, it’s not hard-core. | 听着 这片儿不算黄的 |
| [01:20] | It’s mostly | 主要是讲 |
| [01:21] | her and a couple friends having a pajama party. | 她和朋友们穿着睡衣在家里开派对 |
| [01:23] | I didn’t see pajamas. | 她们身上可没穿睡衣哦 |
| [01:25] | Shut up. Go away. | 闭嘴 走开 |
| [01:29] | Again, I am sorry, | 实在对不起 |
| [01:31] | mea culpa. | Mea culpa （拉丁语: 都是我的错） |
| [01:32] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, “mea” going upstairs | 偶先闪了 |
| [01:37] | for a “culpa” hours. | 妞儿在等着呢 |
| [01:39] | Hey, Charlie, | 嘿 查理 |
| [01:40] | who do I work for you | 我到底是为你工作呢 |
| [01:42] | or this fastidious parasite | 还是为你这个所谓的哥哥 |
| [01:44] | you call a brother? | 其实是个挑剔的寄生虫工作 |
| [01:45] | I get the feeling you want me to say me. | 我知道你想让我说: 我 |
| [01:49] | Me, definitely me. | 我 肯定是我 |
| [01:51] | She works for me. | 她为我工作 |
| [01:53] | Then tell her | 好吧 那你告诉她 |
| [01:55] | when something is on the shopping list she should, in fact, shop for it. | 购物清单上的东西她是不是都应该要买 |
| [01:57] | I’m gonna slug him. Can I slug him? | 我他妈真想抽他 我能抽他吗 |
| [01:59] | -Why are you making such a big deal? -It is a big deal. | -你为什么这么大惊小怪 -因为这就不是小事儿 |
| [02:02] | -It’s not. -The hell it isn’t. | -根本没啥 -就是有 |
| [02:03] | What is going on here? | 出什么事儿了啊 |
| [02:04] | It’s very simple. | 很简单 |
| [02:06] | I have decided to start drinking acidophilus milk. | 我决定以后都只喝带乳酸菌的牛奶 |
| [02:09] | It promotes intestinal flora, which aids in healthy digestion. | 因为它能增加体内肠道菌群 对健康有益 |
| [02:13] | Anyway, for three weeks, | 这三个星期以来 |
| [02:15] | I have been writing it on the shopping list | 我一直都在购物清单上写了这个 |
| [02:17] | yet Berta insists on bringing home 2-percent. | 但贝塔坚持只买脂肪量2%的牛奶 |
| [02:20] | Slug him. | 你还是抽他吧 |
| [02:24] | This is my life. | 这就是我的悲惨人生 |
| [02:26] | Milk and skateboards. | 牛奶和滑板 |
| [02:33] | It’s a good thing I’m drunk. | 还好我醉了 |
| [02:48] | “Salted butter. ” Salted butter. | 咸黄油 买了 |
| [02:50] | “Extra-large eggs. “ | 加大号鸡蛋 |
| [02:53] | Extra-large eggs. | 买了 |
| [02:54] | “Acidophilus milk. “ | 乳酸菌牛奶 |
| [02:57] | Two-percent milk, you whiny pinead. | 我就是要买含脂肪的 你这个唧唧歪歪的猪头 |
| [03:01] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [03:02] | Hey, how you feeling? | 还好吗 |
| [03:03] | Not too bad, really. | 还不错 |
| [03:05] | That was some fall you took. | 昨天你还摔得真狠 |
| [03:07] | Yeah, if I hadrt been plastered, | 还好我喝醉了没感觉 |
| [03:09] | it might have killed me. | 不然就疼得死翘翘了 |
| [03:10] | You’d think the liquor industry would promote that. | 这可以当成酒的一种功能了 |
| [03:13] | It is a selling point. | 不错的卖点 |
| [03:15] | Right up there with making ugly people doable. | 而且酒能让你愿意和丑女做爱 |
| [03:21] | Two-percent, the king of milk. | 含脂肪的牛奶 是最棒的 |
| [03:24] | He’s gotta go, Charlie. | 你必须让他走人 查理. |
| [03:26] | What am I gonna do, Berta? He’s my brother. | 我该咋办啊 贝塔 他可是我弟弟啊 |
| [03:28] | We could make it look like an accident. | 我们可以杀了他然后弄得像一个事故 |
| [03:32] | No. No accidents. | 不行不行 |
| [03:35] | As long as my mother’s alive, nothing happens to Fredo. | 只要我妈还活着 他就不能死 |
| [03:44] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [03:48] | I am sorry to bother you. I’m just moving in next door. | 不好意思打搅了 我刚搬到隔壁 |
| [03:52] | Really? Mm-hm. | 真的啊 |
| [03:55] | You’re my new neighbor? Mm. | 你是我的新邻居 |
| [03:57] | Thank you, God. | 谢谢老天爷 |
| [03:59] | Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and introduce myself. | 我想先自我介绍一下 |
| [04:02] | Danielle Stewart. | 丹妮尔 Stewart |
| [04:03] | Charlie Harper. | 查理 哈珀 |
| [04:05] | Nice to meet you, Danielle. | 很高兴认识你 丹妮尔 |
| [04:06] | -Come on in. -Oh, thank you. | -进来吧 -谢谢 |
| [04:08] | We’ll have a “welcome to the neighborhood” drink. | 我们来喝一杯庆祝新邻居的到来吧 |
| [04:11] | It’s 9 a. m. | 现在才早上九点啊 |
| [04:12] | Oh, right. Pfft. Who drinks at 9 a. m.? | 是啊是啊 谁一大早就喝酒啊 |
| [04:16] | I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee. | 来杯咖啡吧 |
| [04:18] | Ah. Great. All right. | 好的 |
| [04:20] | Oh, Berta. What? | 贝塔 干啥 |
| [04:23] | My faithful housekeeper. Ahem. | 我忠诚的管家 |
| [04:27] | Would you be so kind as to bring a cup of coffee for our new neighbor? | 能麻烦你为我的新邻居 拿杯咖啡吗 |
| [04:32] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [04:34] | Luckiest SoB on the planet. | 这混蛋真是走大运了 |
| [04:35] | Please. Oh. Thank you. | 请坐 谢谢 |
| [04:38] | So, Danielle, what brings you | 丹妮尔 你为什么 |
| [04:41] | to our little stretch of paradise? | 搬到这人间天堂来了呢 |
| [04:43] | Me? Well, I just got tired of the cold winters in Chicago. | 我啊 忍受不了芝加哥冬天的寒冷了 |
| [04:47] | Well, I don’t wanna scare you away, | 哦 我可不是吓你哦 |
| [04:49] | but winters here the mercury can dip down to the mid-60s. | 这儿冬天超级冷呢 |
| [04:52] | Oh, no. How will I stay warm? | 哦 那我怎么取暖呢 |
| [04:55] | I recommend the buddy system. | 我床上挺暖和 |
| [04:57] | You’re cute. | 你真可爱 |
| [04:59] | I know. | 偶晓得 |
| [05:01] | So, what did you do in Chicago? | 你在芝加哥做什么的 |
| [05:03] | Uh, well, for the last eight years | 八年来 |
| [05:05] | I’ve had a full-time career trying to spend my divorce settlement. | 我的工作就是 花我离婚时得到的赡养费 |
| [05:08] | Oh. A working woman. | 哦这活儿不错 |
| [05:11] | Buying a Malibu beach house | 在Malibu买一栋海边小楼 |
| [05:13] | ought to take a chunk out of that settlement. | 应该花了你赡养费得很大一部分吧 |
| [05:15] | Yeah, you’d think. | 小意思啦 |
| [05:17] | Whoa. | 哇 |
| [05:20] | Anyway, I’ve had my fun. | 我已经玩儿够了 |
| [05:22] | I wanna settle down, get serious with my life. | 现在想安定下来 认真对待生活了 |
| [05:25] | Oh, yeah. Me too. | 我也是哦 |
| [05:26] | No kidding? | 不会吧 |
| [05:29] | So are you married? Ha. | 你结婚了 |
| [05:30] | Me? Uh, no. | 没有 |
| [05:34] | You looking to get married? Ha, ha. | 你想结婚吗 |
| [05:37] | Uh No. | 不想 |
| [05:40] | Do you like children? | 你喜欢小孩吗 |
| [05:43] | Uh No. | 不喜欢 |
| [05:46] | Ha, ha. So how do you define “getting serious with your life”? | 那你怎么说自己想认真对待生活了 |
| [05:51] | Well, I’ve stopped drinking in the morning. | 我啊 起码一大清早不喝酒了 |
| [05:57] | Hey, Berta. Ahem. Where’s that coffee? | 嘿 贝塔 咖啡呢 |
| [05:59] | You men are all alike. | 你们男人都一个样儿 |
| [06:00] | Isn’t there anyone left | 就没有人想结婚生子 |
| [06:03] | who just wants to get married and raise a family? | 养家糊口的吗 |
| [06:04] | Yeah, but they’re all gay. | 有啊 不过都是同性恋 |
| [06:08] | Here we go. | 咖啡来了 |
| [06:10] | Oh, thank you. Oh, uh | 谢谢 |
| [06:12] | you wouldn’t happen to have any acidophilus milk, would you? | 请问你有没有含乳酸菌的牛奶呢 |
| [06:21] | Walk me through this again. | 跟我再说说这事儿 |
| [06:23] | She’s beautiful, rich, divorced | 她是个离了婚的有钱美女 |
| [06:26] | and you wanna hand her off to Zippy the Chimp? | 但你想撮合她和你那个木头人弟弟 |
| [06:31] | Okay. Follow my reasoning here. | 听我解释 |
| [06:33] | This is a woman looking to settle down. | 这女人想安定下来 |
| [06:35] | If I sleep with her, I’m happy for one night. | 如果我跟她一夜情 我可以爽一晚 |
| [06:38] | But if I teach my brother to sleep with her | 但如果我让她和我弟弟睡了 |
| [06:41] | he falls in love, asks her to marry him, | 他会和她恋爱 向她求婚 |
| [06:44] | moves out and I’m happy for the rest of my life. | 然后搬出去住 这样我一辈子爽了 |
| [06:47] | It’s a nice plan, but it’ll never happen. | 很好的计划 但没有可行性 |
| [06:48] | Don’t Don’t Don’t say that. | 别说这么不吉利的话 |
| [06:51] | Unjinx, unjinx, unjinx. | 当她没说 当她没说 当她没说 |
| [06:53] | Charlie, she is way out of his league. | 查理 她不会喜欢上他的 |
| [06:55] | Pfft. I know that. Everybody’s out of his league. | 我知道 没人会喜欢上他的 |
| [06:58] | He doesn’t even have a league. | 是个母的都对他没兴趣 |
| [07:01] | He’s just a kid with a bat and a ball and a football helmet. | 他像个三岁小孩 |
| [07:04] | But luckily, he has me. | 但幸亏他有我这个好哥哥 |
| [07:07] | Color me dubious. | 还是不可能 |
| [07:09] | I’m home. | 我回来了哦 |
| [07:11] | Come on, I need you to be with me on this one. | 别这样 你要和我统一战线 |
| [07:13] | It’ll never work. | 根本行不通 |
| [07:18] | This is acidophilus milk. | 这个才是含乳酸菌的牛奶 |
| [07:21] | It is on the shelf below the 2-percent, | 就在含脂肪的牛奶下面 |
| [07:23] | right next to the low-fat yogurt. | 在低脂酸奶旁边 |
| [07:26] | Boy, does your brother have a girl for you. | 孩子 你哥哥要跟你介绍女朋友 |
| [07:31] | What? | 虾米 |
| [07:33] | She just moved next door. | 她刚搬到隔壁 |
| [07:34] | She’s gorgeous, divorced and loaded. | 超有钱 超漂亮 离婚了 |
| [07:36] | Uh-huh. What’s wrong with her? | 嗯…她有什么毛病吗 |
| [07:38] | Why does something have to be wrong with her? | 她为什么非要有毛病呢 |
| [07:41] | Because there’s only two reasons you ever set me up with a woman: | 只有两种情况你会给我介绍女朋友 |
| [07:44] | You either need somebody to keep the emotionally disturbed | 第一种情况就是 你想让利用我支开你女友的好朋友 |
| [07:47] | or cross-eyed or hermaphroditic best friend busy | 她不是感情受伤害就是对眼儿 要不就是变性人 |
| [07:49] | while you do the pretty girl, | 这样你就能和你女友爽了 |
| [07:51] | or | 另一种情况就是… |
| [07:53] | okay, I guess there’s just one reason. | 就那一种情况了 |
| [07:56] | There is nothing wrong with Danielle. | 丹妮尔没啥毛病 |
| [07:58] | Berta, is she or is she not gorgeous? | 贝塔 她漂亮吗 |
| [08:00] | Hey, I’d do her. | 我都愿意上她 |
| [08:04] | If she’s so great, why give her to me? | 如果真那么好 干吗让给我 |
| [08:07] | You want the truth? | 你想听真话 |
| [08:08] | It’d be a nice change of pace. | 你难得说句真话 |
| [08:10] | All right, first of all | 好吧 首先 |
| [08:14] | I am sorry about the hermaphroditic incident. | 我很抱歉上次让你和个变性人约会 |
| [08:17] | “I’m sorry” does not make up for leaving me in a hotel room | 一句道歉并不能弥补我在旅馆房间里 |
| [08:21] | with a girl who had a vestigial penis. | 面对一个有小鸡鸡的女人所带来的伤痛 |
| [08:25] | I didn’t know. | 我开始也不知道啊 |
| [08:26] | I was as surprised as you were. | 我也和你一样大吃一惊 |
| [08:28] | Charlie, no one was as surprised as I was. | 查理 没人能像我一样那么吃惊 |
| [08:32] | But let’s move on. | 咱别提这个了 |
| [08:35] | Okay, now, I’m not saying I didn’t try to hit on our new neighbor, | 我并不是说我没想过追那个新邻居 |
| [08:37] | because I did. | 因为我已经追了 |
| [08:38] | -And? -I got nowhere. | -然后呢 -没追到 |
| [08:40] | She saw him for the mindless meat-seeking missile that he is. | 她觉得他是个只想着和女人上床的混蛋 他确实也是 |
| [08:44] | Anyway, I just thought you two might hit it off. | 我觉得…你俩倒是挺合适 |
| [08:49] | I’m even making a little welcome basket for | 我还帮你做了个欢迎邻居的小礼物篮呢 |
| [08:51] | you to give to her, see? | 你去给她 如何 |
| [08:53] | So she’s beautiful, rich and single. | 她是个有钱的单身美女 |
| [08:55] | Right. | 没错 |
| [08:58] | Why would she want me? | 她为什么会想和我在一起呢 |
| [08:59] | What kind of thing is that to say? | 你怎么说这么丧气的话呢 |
| [09:00] | Why wouldn’t she want you? | 她为什么会不想呢 |
| [09:01] | I’m broke, middle-aged, twice divorced, sleeping on your Hide-A-Bed | 我破产了 人到中年 离过两次婚 |
| [09:04] | and sharing custody of a flatulent, | 还寄人篱下 |
| [09:05] | underachieving son. | 还有个不求上进脑满肠肥的儿子 |
| [09:11] | We’re gonna need a bigger basket. | 我们需要个大点的礼物篮 |
| [09:13] | You’re gonna need chloroform and a rope. | 你还不如直接绑架那女的得了 |
| [09:21] | Just remember, the most important thing is | 记住 最重要的是 |
| [09:24] | to project confidence. | 要有自信 |
| [09:25] | Got it. | 知道了 |
| [09:27] | How do I look? | 我看起来如何 |
| [09:29] | Just project confidence. | 要有自信 |
| [09:35] | Here, you give her the welcome basket. | 来 你给她这篮子 |
| [09:36] | All right. Well, what do I say? | 好吧 我该说啥 |
| [09:38] | “Welcome. “ | “欢迎” |
| [09:40] | Oh, good. That’s good. | 很好 非常好 |
| [09:42] | Oh, hi. Heh. | 你好啊 |
| [09:44] | Welcome. | 欢迎 |
| [09:49] | Danielle, this is my brother, Alan. | 丹妮尔 这个我弟弟艾伦 |
| [09:50] | Alan, Danielle. | 艾伦 这是丹妮尔. |
| [09:51] | Alan just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood. | 艾伦想欢迎你的到来 |
| [09:54] | Welcome. | 欢迎 |
| [09:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:59] | You’re welcome. | 没事儿 |
| [10:01] | Would you like to come in? | 你们想进来吗 |
| [10:03] | I don’t know, she seems kind of busy. | 我不知道 她好像挺忙的 |
| [10:05] | Go, go, go. | 进去进去进去 |
| [10:07] | I am sorry that the place is such a mess. | 不好意思家里太乱了 |
| [10:09] | Don’t be silly. | 怎么会呢 |
| [10:11] | Moving takes time, right, Alan? | 搬家需要时间的 对吧 艾伦? |
| [10:13] | Oh, yes, | 是啊是啊 |
| [10:15] | uh, I remember the last time I moved, | 我记得上次我搬家的时候 |
| [10:16] | it was very time-consuming. | 也很费时间 |
| [10:18] | I had to collect boxes and those packing peanuts. | 我要收拾那些盒子还有袋装花生 |
| [10:20] | Boy, those things get everywhere. Yeah. | 花生撒得到处都是 |
| [10:22] | Hey, that’s summer sausage, not salami. | 你知道吗 这是夏日香肠 不是色拉米香肠 |
| [10:24] | A lot of people confuse the two. | 好多人经常弄混 |
| [10:26] | Ha, ha. Interesting. Heh. | 有意思 |
| [10:28] | Ahem. So why don’t I, uh, open up | 我还是打开 |
| [10:30] | this wine | 这瓶葡萄酒 |
| [10:31] | and we can toast to my new home? | 我们为这个新家干杯 |
| [10:33] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
| [10:34] | None for me. Red wine makes me gassy. | 我不喝 我一喝葡萄酒就打嗝儿 |
| [10:40] | Sorry, I don’t have anything else to offer. | 不好意思我这儿没什么好吃的 |
| [10:41] | I haven’t had time to go shopping. | 我没时间去购物 |
| [10:43] | Well, then you must be starving. | 那你一定饿坏了 |
| [10:45] | We should take this young lady to dinner. | 艾伦 我认为我们应该 带这位年轻的女士去吃饭 |
| [10:47] | But I was planning on warming up the pot roast from Sunday night. | 但是我今天还要做周日的烤肉呢 |
| [10:50] | The pot roast will keep. | 烤肉又跑不了 |
| [10:53] | I don’t know, it’s right on the edge. | 那可说不准 快过期了 |
| [10:56] | Forget the pot roast. | 别说烤肉了 |
| [10:58] | So, what do you say? We could walk up the beach | 你觉得如何 我们可以在海滩上散步 |
| [11:00] | to Georgio’s and grab a bite. | 然后去Georgia’s餐馆吃点东西 |
| [11:02] | That sounds wonderful. | 真不错 |
| [11:03] | Let me throw on some clean clothes. | 我先换身衣服 |
| [11:05] | Terrific. | 太棒了 |
| [11:06] | All right, I will be right back. | 好的 我马上就好 |
| [11:11] | Ah, ah? | 怎样 怎样 |
| [11:13] | She’s incredible. | 她太棒了 |
| [11:14] | Incredible, my ass. | 棒你个头 |
| [11:15] | She’s perfect. | 她简直就完美无缺 |
| [11:16] | Okay. A couple of pointers. Ahem. | 我给你一点小提示 |
| [11:20] | First off, | 首先 |
| [11:21] | you never open with gassy. I know. | 你别提”打嗝儿”了 |
| [11:24] | I know that. It just came out. | 我知道 忍不住嘛 |
| [11:25] | It’s all right, it’s all right. | 没事儿没事儿 |
| [11:27] | No permanent damage. Mm. | 不会有太大问题 |
| [11:28] | Now, what’s gonna happen here is | 现在我的计划是 |
| [11:29] | I’m gonna bail on dinner | 吃饭前我会开溜 |
| [11:31] | so you two can be alone. | 这样你俩就能独处了 |
| [11:32] | Really? | 真的啊 |
| [11:33] | Because Georgio’s is kind of pricey. | 但Georgia’s餐馆还蛮贵的呢 |
| [11:35] | Ah, jeez. Here. | 我的天哪 |
| [11:38] | Tip big. | 给你 记得多给点小费 |
| [11:41] | Don’t agonize over the math. | 别斤斤计较 |
| [11:42] | I don’t agonize. | 我从来不斤斤计较 |
| [11:44] | I just take the sales tax and double it, | 我只是计算一下消费税然后乘以二 |
| [11:46] | which is roughly 15 percent. | 差不多给15%就行了 |
| [11:47] | Unless the service is less than impeccable, | 当然如果服务不周到 |
| [11:49] | in which case, I leave a flat $5. | 我就只给五块钱 |
| [11:51] | Alan, it’s my money, go crazy. | 艾伦 这是我的钱 你随便花吧 |
| [11:55] | Fine. Eighteen percent it is. | 好 那给18% |
| [11:58] | Now, dinner conversation. | 还有 吃饭时说的话题 |
| [12:02] | Don’t talk about your boring job, your petty problems, | 别说你那无聊的工作 你没救的毛病 |
| [12:04] | or your stupid hobbies. | 还有你愚蠢的爱好 |
| [12:05] | What else is there? | 那还有什么可说的 |
| [12:07] | Her. Her petty problems, her stupid hobbies. | 她的毛病 她的爱好 |
| [12:10] | No woman ever came home from | 女人们就喜欢 |
| [12:12] | a date complaining that all she did was talk about herself. | 在约会的时候大谈特谈自己的生活 |
| [12:13] | Oh, that’s good. | 那好吧 |
| [12:15] | And that way, I remain an enigma. | 这样我就能成为谜一般的男人 |
| [12:18] | Yeah, let’s call you an enigma. | 好吧 就这样吧 |
| [12:21] | Alrighty. So do I look okay? | 好了 我还行吧 |
| [12:25] | You look beautiful, fantastic. | 你很漂亮 太美了 |
| [12:28] | Right, Alan? | 是吧 艾伦? |
| [12:29] | Welcome. | 欢迎 |
| [12:33] | Okay, ahem, let’s go. | 好吧 我们走吧 |
| [12:42] | All right, let me just lock up. | 我先锁门 |
| [12:45] | Oh, no. | 哦 不… |
| [12:46] | What do you mean, you have to go? | 你为什么要先走 |
| [12:53] | I mean, uh, what’s wrong? | 呃…我是说 怎么了 |
| [12:58] | I just remembered I have some work I need to do. | 我刚想起来我有点工作要做 |
| [13:00] | Oh, no. | 哦 不 |
| [13:02] | Oh, what a shame. | 真可惜啊 |
| [13:04] | Maybe we should do this another time. | 那我们下次吧 |
| [13:05] | No, no. No, no. | 不 不 |
| [13:07] | -You go ahead, enjoy yourselves. -Are you sure? | -你俩去吧 好好玩 -你确定 |
| [13:09] | -He’s sure. Let’s go. -Okay. | -他确定了 我们走吧 -好吧 |
| [13:11] | See you later, Charlie. | 一会儿见 查理. |
| [13:12] | So, Danielle, you got any hobbies or problems? | 丹妮尔 你有什么爱好和毛病吗 |
| [13:20] | Yes, I know she’s hot. | 我知道 她很火辣 |
| [13:27] | But I’m thinking long-term, so shut up. | 但我在为长远着想 所以你闭嘴 |
| [13:39] | Hey. Hey, | 嘿 嘿 |
| [13:40] | where have you been? | 你去哪儿了 |
| [13:41] | Stuck in traffic. | 堵车了 |
| [13:42] | Danielle’s coming over in a few minutes. | 丹妮尔等会就过来 |
| [13:44] | Gotta shower and change. | 我要洗个澡 换衣服 |
| [13:45] | Wow, you two are going out again? | 哇 你俩还要出去约会 |
| [13:47] | What can I say, Charlie? | 怎么说呢 查理 |
| [13:48] | The girl digs my mojo. | 这女人感受到了我的魅力 |
| [13:50] | When did you get mojo? | 你什么时候开始有魅力了 |
| [13:53] | Scoff if you like, | 随你怎么说 |
| [13:54] | but that woman is entranced | 这个女人已经完全为我-艾伦 杰罗姆 哈珀 |
| [13:56] | by the enigma that is Alan Jerome Harper. | 谜一般的男人给折服了 |
| [14:00] | Unbelievable. Your plan is working. | 难以置信 你的计划居然成功了 |
| [14:03] | Told you. | 我早说了嘛 |
| [14:04] | There’s something wrong with that girl. | 这女人肯定有毛病 |
| [14:06] | There must be a lot wrong with that girl. | 毛病还不小 |
| [14:08] | Well, then it’s a match made in heaven. | 他俩那就是天造地设的一对儿了 |
| [14:11] | There’s something wrong with her. | 她有毛病 |
| [14:12] | We know there’s something wrong with him. | 我们也知道他也有毛病 |
| [14:15] | Yeah, and before you know it, he’ll move out, t | 但在你发现她的毛病之前 他会搬出去 |
| [14:17] | hey’ll get married | 他俩会结婚 |
| [14:18] | and we’ll be wondering what’s wrong with their kids. | 到时我们就等着看 他们的孩子有什么毛病吧 |
| [14:23] | Hey, Charlie. | 嘿 查理 |
| [14:25] | Hey, Danielle. Come on in. | 嘿 丹妮尔 进来吧 |
| [14:26] | Thank you. Oh, man. | 谢谢 天哪 |
| [14:27] | If the kid wants to kill me, | 这孩子如果想杀了我 |
| [14:29] | why doesn’t he just cut my brake line? | 为何不干脆弄坏我的刹车算了 |
| [14:33] | Alars in the shower. | 艾伦在洗澡 |
| [14:35] | Am I too early? | 我来太早了 |
| [14:36] | No, no. No, he’s been living here for three years. | 不不不 他已经等这一时刻等了三年了 |
| [14:39] | You want a drink? | 你要喝一杯吗 |
| [14:40] | Uh, no, thank you. | 不用了 谢谢 |
| [14:41] | I’m trying to cut down. | 我在戒酒 |
| [14:43] | Really? Why? | 真的啊 为何 |
| [14:44] | Long story. | 说来话长 |
| [14:46] | Alan takes long showers. | 艾伦洗澡也要很长时间 |
| [14:48] | Longer when he’s not dating. | 如果不约会洗得还长些 |
| [14:51] | Thank you, Berta. | 谢了 贝塔 |
| [14:57] | So tell me your story. | 来说说你的情况吧 |
| [14:59] | Oh, it’s a little embarrassing. | 这挺难为情的 |
| [15:01] | Hey, all the good drinking stories are. | 喝醉后的故事都很难为情 |
| [15:04] | After partying | 一晚狂欢之后 |
| [15:05] | at the Pomona State Fair, | 在Pomona集市 |
| [15:06] | I once woke up on a Tilt-A-Whirl wearing nothing but | 我醒来发现自己只穿着 |
| [15:08] | a grass skirt and a tiny sombrero. | 草裙和小款边帽 |
| [15:12] | No kidding? | 真的啊 |
| [15:14] | Ha, ha. I’ve still got the sombrero. | 那帽子我还留着呢 |
| [15:17] | Okay, your turn. | 好了 你呢 |
| [15:18] | Oh. All right. Um | 我… |
| [15:21] | The reason my marriage didn’t work out | 我离婚… |
| [15:25] | the reason none of my relationships work out | 我谈恋爱都没成功的原因是 |
| [15:29] | is because I tend to drink a little too much | 我酗酒 |
| [15:32] | and then do things I regret. | 然后喝醉了会干一些令我后悔的事情 |
| [15:35] | And by “things” you mean? | 比如说…? |
| [15:37] | Men. | 乱搞男人 |
| [15:39] | Huh. | 哦 |
| [15:41] | And the occasional woman. | 偶尔还搞女人 |
| [15:43] | Huh. | 哦 |
| [15:48] | Well, as stories go, I’d say this is a good one. | 听起来不错 |
| [15:51] | At least yours doesn’t end with | 至少听起来 |
| [15:53] | a toothless carny offering you a churro. | 比我还是正常些 |
| [15:57] | You know, I had a feeling you’d understand. | 我就知道你能理解我 |
| [16:02] | You know, Alan is very sweet. | 艾伦是个好人 |
| [16:04] | But the guys I usually go for are more like…well, you. | 一般和我约会的人都…和你一样 |
| [16:08] | Huh. | 哦 |
| [16:11] | Anyway, I think I am ready for a nice, normal relationship. | 我想我应该有个正常点的男朋友 |
| [16:17] | No more getting blitzed | 而不是喝的烂醉如泥 |
| [16:20] | and falling into bed with the first guy who asks me. | 碰到男人就上 |
| [16:22] | Or girl. | 还上女人 |
| [16:25] | Or couple. | 有时还3P |
| [16:27] | Huh. | 哦 |
| [16:33] | Huh, huh, huh. | 哦 |
| [16:38] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [16:44] | Okay, new plan. | 计划有变 |
| [16:46] | I’m gonna boink Danielle | 我要搞到丹妮尔 |
| [16:47] | and Alars gonna live here forever. | 艾伦可以永远住在这儿 |
| [16:49] | Not a surprise. | 一点儿也不奇怪 |
| [16:58] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [17:00] | It’s not your night, Alan. | 今晚你没戏 艾伦 |
| [17:02] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:03] | Danielle. She’s not right for you. | 丹妮尔不适合你 |
| [17:05] | But you said she was perfect for me. | 但你说她和我很配啊 |
| [17:07] | I was wrong. | 我错了不行嘛 |
| [17:08] | She’s sick and twisted. | 她变态而且毛病一大堆 |
| [17:10] | That makes her perfect for me. | 这和我很合适 |
| [17:11] | I’m sorry, I’m not following. | 不好意思 我没弄懂 |
| [17:14] | I was talking to her out there. | 我刚和她谈了 |
| [17:16] | And it turns out she’s a boozehound and a sex freak. | 发现她是个酒鬼而且滥交 |
| [17:19] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:20] | I haven’t seen that in her at all. | 我怎么没看出来 |
| [17:22] | I mean, I got a good-night kiss but she was perfectly sober | 我和她吻别 她很正常 |
| [17:25] | and her tongue did nothing freaky. | 也没有强吻我 |
| [17:27] | That’s because she’s trying to hide who she really is. | 因为她想掩饰她的真性情 |
| [17:29] | -And who’s that? -Me. | -怎样的真性情 -就像我一样 |
| [17:31] | She’s me, Alan, top to bottom. | 她就是我这种人 艾伦 一个模子出来的 |
| [17:32] | Except, you know, from here to here. | 除了这一部分 |
| [17:36] | So, what is it you want me to do? | 那你要我怎么办 |
| [17:38] | Step aside so you can lead her back to a life of sordid degradation? | 放弃她然后你就能和她一起过堕落的生活 |
| [17:40] | Lf you wouldn’t mind. | 正是如此 |
| [17:43] | No, no, no. | 不行不行不行 |
| [17:44] | You gave her to me. | 是你把她给我的 |
| [17:45] | There’s no takebacks. | 不能再要回去 |
| [17:46] | All right, fine. | 好吧好吧 |
| [17:48] | We’ll just let her make her own decision. | 我们让她决定 |
| [17:49] | All right, all right. May the better man win. | 好吧好吧 像我这种好男人一定会赢的 |
| [17:56] | You should probably be rooting for the shriveled man. | 是好男人还是”小”男人 |
| [18:02] | Now, now, just a little. | 再来一点 |
| [18:03] | Ha. You got it. | 没问题 |
| [18:04] | That is a beautiful dress. | 这裙子真好看 |
| [18:08] | Oh, thank you. Ha, ha. | 哎呀 |
| [18:09] | Whoops. Ooh. Ha, ha. | 哦 |
| [18:11] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [18:13] | Ha. That’s okay. Ha, ha. | 没关系 |
| [18:17] | Mm, mm. | 嗯… |
| [18:18] | Buttery, | 柔滑爽口… |
| [18:19] | with a slight citrus finish. | 有柑橘的余香 |
| [18:21] | Hmm. | 嗯 |
| [18:29] | Ahh. | 啊 |
| [18:32] | So you know wine. | 你对红酒还挺有研究的 |
| [18:36] | Okay, Danielle, we’d better get going | 好的 丹妮尔 我们要走了 |
| [18:38] | if we’re gonna make our reservation. | 我预订了桌子 |
| [18:39] | You’re right. Thanks for the wine, Charlie. | 对啊 谢谢你的酒 查理. |
| [18:41] | Whoa, what’s the hurry? | 别急嘛别急嘛 |
| [18:42] | I was gonna make a pitcher of margaritas. | 我再调一杯马格利特酒 |
| [18:44] | Oh. I love margaritas. | 哦 我喜欢这酒 |
| [18:46] | I’ll be right back. | 马上回来 |
| [18:48] | Gee, Danielle, do you really wanna sit here | 天哪 丹妮尔你真想坐这儿 |
| [18:50] | and drink with Charlie? | 和查理喝酒 |
| [18:51] | You know what? You’re right, Alan. | 对啊对啊 艾伦. |
| [18:55] | You’re a nice guy. | 你是个好男人 |
| [18:56] | You’re good for me. | 我应该跟你走 |
| [18:58] | Okay. Charlie, we’re leaving. | 好 查理 我们走了哦 |
| [18:59] | Wait, wait, wait. | 等等等等等 |
| [19:01] | If you don’t have time for margaritas, | 如果没时间等我调酒 |
| [19:02] | I could mix one up in your mouth. | 我干脆直接倒到你嘴里 |
| [19:04] | Cut it out. | 你得了吧 查理 |
| [19:05] | I know what you’re trying to do. | 你到底想干嘛 |
| [19:07] | What? I’m being a good host. | 怎么了 我只是尽地主之谊嘛 |
| [19:09] | You’re taking advantage of Danielle. | 你在利用丹妮尔 |
| [19:10] | No, I respect Danielle for who she is. | 不 我只是想丹妮尔做她自己 |
| [19:12] | So do I. | 我也是啊 |
| [19:13] | No, no, you respect Danielle for | 不 你只想让Daniel |
| [19:14] | who she’s pretending to be. | 掩饰自己的真性情 |
| [19:15] | -I don’t get you. -Why did you bother | -我真不懂 -当初你为何要 |
| [19:17] | putting us together? | 费尽心思撮合我俩 |
| [19:19] | Because I thought she was dull and boring like you. | 因为我一开始以为她和你一样是个木脑袋 |
| [19:22] | And I had hoped the two of you would go | 所以我就想让你俩搬到她家 |
| [19:23] | and be dull and boring at her house. | 过单调无聊的生活 |
| [19:25] | That was really your plan? That’s insane. | 这就是你的计划 难以置信 |
| [19:27] | It would’ve worked if she wasrt a drunken slut. | 如果她不是个狂放女的话 这计划就成功了 |
| [19:30] | Whoa, whoa, whoa | 哇 哇 哇 |
| [19:34] | There is no need to fight over me. | 别为我争了 |
| [19:38] | Alan, you’re a sweet, gentle guy. | 艾伦 你是个温柔的好男人 |
| [19:41] | Charlie, you’re a pig. | 查理 你是个猪 |
| [19:45] | But I find you very attractive. | 但你很迷人 |
| [19:47] | There’s only one reasonable solution. | 所以说只有一个办法了 |
| [19:50] | I’ll have to do you both. | 我和你俩3P吧 |
| [19:59] | No crossing swords. | 再好不过了 |
| [20:02] | Are you out of your mind? | 你疯了啊 |
| [20:03] | You’re? You’re actually considering this? | 你还真想这样 |
| [20:05] | Yeah, you’re right. | 也对哦 |
| [20:06] | I don’t even like eating dinner next to you. | 我连吃饭都不想和你一起吃 更何况这个了 |
| [20:10] | Uh, thank you | 非常感谢你 |
| [20:11] | for your generous offer, | 诚挚的邀请 |
| [20:13] | but I’m afraid we must decline. | 但我们必须拒绝 |
| [20:15] | But mostly, he’s afraid. | 因为他怕怕了 |
| [20:17] | Ah, should’ve known. | 我就知道 |
| [20:20] | Not a pair between you. | 你俩不可能 |
| [20:22] | All right, well, if either of you change your mind | 但如果有人改变主意的话 |
| [20:26] | you know where to find me. | 就来找我哦 |
| [20:34] | Okay, you can have her. | 好吧 你去上她 |
| [20:44] | “One pound salted butter. “ | 一磅咸黄油… |
| [20:47] | “One dozen extra-large eggs. “ | 一打大号鸡蛋… |
| [20:51] | “And one acidophilus milk for the whiny pinead. “ | 一瓶给猪头的乳酸菌牛奶” |
| [20:55] | I thought I was the only one who drank this stuff. | 我还以为只有我喝这玩意儿呢 |
| [20:57] | What? | 什么啊 |
| [21:01] | Ha, ha. Are you kidding me? It’s all I drink. | 我只喝这个 |
| [21:03] | You know, for the intestinal fauna. | 你知道 增加肠道…菌群 |
| [21:07] | That’s all you drink? | 你只喝这个吗 |
| [21:08] | Well, I’ve been known to add a few fingers of | 我还会加点 |
| [21:10] | vodka. | 伏特加 |
| [21:12] | Kind of an “acidophi-tini. “ | 做成乳酸菌伏特加 |
| [21:17] | You’re cute. | 你真可爱 |
| [21:18] | So I’ve been told. | 有人说过了 |
| [21:22] | I can’t. I promised Berta I’d get the groceries. | 不行哦 我答应贝塔帮她购物 |
| [21:27] | You’re right. You’re always right. | 好吧好吧 你是老大 |