| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Hey, Charlie, would you see who that is? | 嘿 查理 能去开门看看是谁吗 |
| [00:12] | It’s Death. | 是死神 |
| [00:14] | Hi, Mom. | 你好啊 妈妈 |
| [00:18] | Your gardener left this in the driveway. | 你的园丁把这个留在走道上了 |
| [00:21] | That was no gardener, it was a girl with a grudge. | 才不是园丁呢 是被我甩了的 一肚子窝火的女人干的 |
| [00:28] | So how was your friend’s funeral? | 你朋友的葬礼如何啊 |
| [00:29] | Oh, terribly disappointing. | 天哪 超级令人失望 |
| [00:32] | Yeah, in my experience, | 以我的经验来说 |
| [00:33] | nothing kills a party like a dead broad in a box. | 如果一副棺材里躺着个死女人 那个派对一定糟透了 |
| [00:38] | Don’t be glib, Charlie. | 你别跟我油腔滑调 查理. |
| [00:40] | Hello, Alan. | 你好啊 艾伦 |
| [00:41] | Oh, hey, Mom. | 嘿 妈妈 |
| [00:42] | Wow, you look nice. | 你今天真漂亮 |
| [00:44] | Yes, mourning becomes me, doesn’t it? | 是啊 我穿丧服还真好看 |
| [00:46] | If only more of my friends would die. | 要是再死一个朋友就好了 |
| [00:49] | I’m sure the feeling’s mutual. | 我相信你朋友们也这么想 |
| [00:52] | Charlie, as long as you’re over there, | 查理 你忙完了 |
| [00:54] | make Mommy a drink. | 给妈妈倒杯酒 |
| [00:56] | It’s been a very depressing afternoon. | 今天下午真是太令人压抑了 |
| [00:58] | Thanks for spreading it around. | 多亏了你 我们也开始压抑了 |
| [01:00] | Can you believe two of Cynthia’s three children | 你能相信吗 Cynthia三个孩子中 |
| [01:03] | didn’t even bother showing up at her funeral? | 有两个没有出席葬礼 |
| [01:06] | And the one who did was drunk and cracking tasteless jokes | 剩下一个喝的烂醉如泥 |
| [01:09] | about his mother all throughout the service. | 在葬礼上到处讲他妈妈的黄色笑话 |
| [01:12] | You didn’t happen to jot any of them down, did you? | 那你是不是还听得兴致盎然啊 |
| [01:17] | And it wasrt just the children. | 而且不只是她孩子们不争气 |
| [01:19] | The crowd was very sparse | 来葬礼的人也不多 |
| [01:21] | and there was virtually no mourning. | 没几个人是真正来哀悼她的 |
| [01:24] | That’s understandable. | 这不难理解啊 |
| [01:25] | You said no one liked this woman. | 你说没人真正喜欢这个女人 |
| [01:26] | Oh, she was a hateful shrew, | 是啊 她是个令人生恨的泼妇 但如此下场还是不应该啊 |
| [01:30] | but still Fortunately, | 不过还好 |
| [01:31] | I was able to draw on my theater background | 我能以此为舞台 |
| [01:33] | and work up a good cry. | 高歌一曲 |
| [01:36] | Sense memory. | 唱的是Sense-memory |
| [01:37] | I remember the time | 我还记得 |
| [01:39] | I wasrt cast as Blanche DuBois in Streetcar. | 我那时还没被选上演Streetcar里的 Blanche Dubois呢 |
| [01:43] | You’re a good friend, Mom. | 妈 作为朋友你还真不错 |
| [01:45] | I know. I’m just glad that when my time comes | 我知道 我很高兴到我死的时候 |
| [01:48] | I won’t have such a humiliating sendoff. | 我不会得到如此羞辱 |
| [01:55] | Right? | 是吧 |
| [01:56] | Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sendoff. Yes. | 那是那是 当然当然 |
| [01:59] | Well, I’m gonna go freshen up. | 我要去洗手间补补妆了 |
| [02:00] | Even fake tears can ruin one’s mascara. | 假眼泪也能弄花我的睫毛膏 |
| [02:04] | Whoever did Cynthia’s makeup should be shot | 说到化妆 为Cynthia整理仪容的那人 |
| [02:07] | and buried beside her. | 应该被枪决然后和她埋在一起 |
| [02:08] | She looked like a varnished clown. | 她像个被涂坏的小丑 |
| [02:11] | You’ll go to Mom’s funeral, won’t you? | 你会去妈的葬礼吧? |
| [02:14] | Of course. As the eldest son, | 当然 作为长子 |
| [02:17] | it’s my obligation to pound in the stake. | 这个火坑我是应该跳的 |
| [02:21] | Typical. Nothing for Alan to do. | 总是这样 总没艾伦我什么事儿 |
| [02:23] | Okay, you can cut off her head | 好吧 那你负责把她头砍下来 |
| [02:25] | and hold it up for the villagers. | 举起来和村民们一起欢呼游行 |
| [02:38] | What are you doing? | 你在干吗 |
| [02:40] | Leaving before Mom gets out of the bathroom. | 在老妈出来之前赶紧开溜 |
| [02:43] | I thought we were taking her to dinner. | 我觉得我们应该带她去吃晚饭 |
| [02:44] | I can’t listen to her anymore. | 我是不想再听她说了 |
| [02:47] | It blows my mind that she can go on and on about her toxic friend’s sad little funeral | 她一直不停的说她那个无耻朋友的葬礼 我头都快爆炸了 |
| [02:51] | when we both know she gonna end up the same way. | 而且咱俩都知道她的结局也会如此 |
| [02:54] | I don’t disagree, | 我同意 |
| [02:55] | but there’s an option to running away from her. | 但我们不能老躲着她啊 |
| [02:57] | Yeah, but we’d get caught | 是啊 但一旦我俩被她抓住 |
| [02:58] | and you’d sell me out for a reduced sentence. | 你会出卖我 以求宽大处理 |
| [03:01] | We could tell her the truth. | 我们可以告诉她事实真相啊 |
| [03:03] | That she’s just as toxic as her late friend | 告诉她她和她那个无耻朋友没啥两样儿 |
| [03:05] | and that that’s the way she’s gonna be remembered. | 而且别人就会这么说她 |
| [03:10] | Are you on crack? | 你脑子被门缝儿挤了吧 |
| [03:11] | Maybe if she realized how people see her, | 或许如果她知道别人对她的看法 |
| [03:14] | she might make an effort to change. | 她会努力做出一些改变的 |
| [03:15] | If she realized how people see her, | 如果她知道别人对她的看法 |
| [03:17] | she’d just get new people. | 她只会换掉身边的人 |
| [03:20] | Charlie, I What are we gonna say, Alan? | 我们该怎么说 艾伦? |
| [03:22] | “You’re a crazy she-bat | 妈咪 你是个死三八 |
| [03:23] | and the only way people will come to your funeral is | 别人想去你葬礼的唯一原因只可能是: |
| [03:25] | if your delighted sons turn it into | 你可爱的儿子们把葬礼变成 |
| [03:26] | a three-day beer bash | 为期三天的饮酒节 |
| [03:27] | with go-go dancers. | 和跳舞节 |
| [03:30] | Well, we wouldn’t start there. | 我们不能一开始就这么说 |
| [03:33] | All right, Cynthia’s in the ground | 好了 Cynthia已经入土了 我已经补好妆了 |
| [03:36] | my face is on, I look stunning in black let’s go to dinner. | 这丧服我穿着正好 咱们吃饭去 |
| [03:40] | Hey, just follow my lead. | 跟着我说就行了 |
| [03:43] | Mom? | 妈…? |
| [03:45] | Yes, dear. | 怎么了 亲爱的 |
| [03:51] | Alan thinks you’re a crazy she-bat | 艾伦觉得你是个死三八 |
| [03:52] | and no one will mourn at your funeral either. | 没人会在你的葬礼上默哀的 |
| [03:58] | We’re telling you this because we love you. | 我们是因为爱你才告诉你这些的 |
| [04:02] | I see. | 我知道了 |
| [04:03] | Look, Mom, you have to realize | 妈 你应该知道 |
| [04:06] | that you’re not that different from Cynthia. | 你和Cynthia没什么不同 |
| [04:09] | I most certainly am. | 当然不同啦 |
| [04:11] | Oh, come on, Mom. | 得了吧 妈 |
| [04:13] | You speak ill of everyone, even your closest friends. | 你对人恶言相向 连最好的朋友也不放过 |
| [04:15] | You manipulate people. | 你 你还喜欢控制别人 |
| [04:16] | You’re an unbelievable narcissist. | 你极其自恋 |
| [04:18] | You’re self-obsessed | 孤芳自赏… |
| [04:20] | That’s a bit redundant, isn’t it? | 用词重复了吧 |
| [04:22] | You find fault with everything. | 你鸡蛋里面挑骨头 |
| [04:25] | And, frankly, I don’t know | 说实话 我还真不知道 |
| [04:27] | anyone who enjoys spending time with you | 有谁喜欢和你在一起的 |
| [04:29] | let alone would cry at your funeral. | 更别说在你葬礼上哭了 |
| [04:32] | That’s one point of view. | 这是你个人意见 |
| [04:39] | Charlie, | 查理 |
| [04:40] | I notice you haven’t said anything. | 你该说点什么了吧 |
| [04:44] | Actually, “crazy she-bat” was mine. | 事实上 是我说的”死三八”这个词儿 |
| [04:50] | Again, Mom, we’re only telling you this because we care about you. | 妈 我们这么说是因为我们很关心你 |
| [04:51] | Right, Charlie? | 对吧 查理? |
| [04:54] | We care about you. | 我们关心你 |
| [04:55] | And it’s not too late for you to change | 而且你现在改变还为时不晚 |
| [04:57] | and become the kind of person that | 有可能成为 |
| [04:59] | people would dearly miss. | 死后会被人追忆的那种人 |
| [05:01] | When you’re dead. | 死了之后才会被人追忆 |
| [05:05] | You’ve given me a lot to think about. | 你们的话发人深省啊 |
| [05:07] | Yes, and while you’re thinking | 好吧 但可别忘了 |
| [05:09] | remember the spirit in which it was intended. | 我们说这番话的用意 |
| [05:12] | Oh, I won’t forget that. | 不会忘的 |
| [05:16] | Good, good. | 很好很好 |
| [05:17] | Listen, I think I’m gonna beg off dinner tonight. | 听着 我想今天我不能陪你们吃饭了 |
| [05:20] | Good, good. Aw. | 很好很好 啊… |
| [05:25] | Goodbye, boys. | 再见了 儿子们 |
| [05:27] | Bye-bye. Goodbye. | 再见 再见 |
| [05:34] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [05:36] | Okay? | “好了”? |
| [05:38] | What’s okay? What do you see that’s okay? | 什么好了啊 你觉得没事儿了吗 |
| [05:40] | Well, we got out of dinner. | 至少我们不用去陪她吃饭了啊 |
| [05:43] | Yes, but at what cost? | 但是代价是什么呢 |
| [05:45] | Sure, her feelings are hurt right now, | 当然 她现在会很伤心 |
| [05:47] | but that’ll pass in time | 但是时间会冲淡一切的 |
| [05:49] | and then she’ll see this as an opportunity to | 然后她会抓住这次机会 |
| [05:50] | grow and change. | 改变自己 |
| [05:53] | Do you actually believe that? | 你真相信这屁话? |
| [05:56] | I have to, Charlie. | 我别无选择啊 查理 |
| [05:59] | I have to. | 别无选择啊 |
| [06:05] | Yo, mad props on the sandwich, Dad. | 粑粑三明治好好漆的说 |
| [06:08] | This PB and J is off the hook. | 偶好稀饭 |
| [06:11] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [06:13] | He’s been watching MTV Cribs. | 他在看MTV台 学到了这种奇怪的流行语 |
| [06:17] | The kid’s a sponge. | 这孩子什么都学 |
| [06:19] | For shizzle, my dizzle. | 系啊系啊 |
| [06:21] | Hey, MC Skid Mark. | 嘿 口齿不清的孩子 |
| [06:25] | Here’s something else you left in your pants. | 我在你裤口袋儿里找到了点东西 |
| [06:29] | Oh, right. I was supposed to mail this. | 哦 对啊 我准备把这个寄出去的 |
| [06:32] | What is it? It’s a birthday card | 这是什么 生日贺卡 |
| [06:33] | Mom gave me to send to Grandma. | 妈妈让我给奶奶的 |
| [06:35] | Oh, God. Today’s Mom’s birthday. | 天哪 今天是妈妈的生日 |
| [06:38] | You forgot Mom’s birthday? | 你忘了妈妈的生日 |
| [06:41] | Did you remember it? | 难道你记得 |
| [06:42] | Hey, hey, no one expects me to remember anything. | 嘿 没人会希望我记得好不好 |
| [06:46] | Whers the last time you talked? | 你多就没和她讲话了 |
| [06:48] | I don’t know. When we told her | 我不知道 可能自从我们告诉她 |
| [06:49] | she’s horrible and nobody likes her. | 她是个讨厌鬼 没人喜欢她的时候 |
| [06:51] | Oh, yeah. That was a fun day. | 哦 对哦 那天可真好玩 |
| [06:54] | Guess I could save this for next year. | 我想明年再寄算了 |
| [06:56] | No, no, no. You’ll give it to her in person. | 不不不 你应该亲自给她 |
| [06:58] | We’ll go buy her a present, | 我们出去给她买件礼物 |
| [07:00] | then bring it to her. | 然后亲自送给她 |
| [07:01] | Gee, Alan, she hasn’t talked to us in weeks. | 天哪 艾伦 她都两个星期没跟我们说话了 |
| [07:03] | Don’t you think showing up with a gift might jeopardize that? | 你真想破坏着美好时光吗 |
| [07:06] | If we don’t, | 如果我们不去 |
| [07:07] | we’ll never hear the end of it. | 这事儿就永远没完 |
| [07:08] | True dat. | 那确实 |
| [07:11] | You tell them, Poop Dogg. | 说得对啊 小屁孩儿 |
| [07:15] | Yo, check out the bling. | 看哦 粉漂亮的说 |
| [07:19] | Jake, I’m not gonna tell you again. | 杰克 我再跟你说一遍 |
| [07:21] | You’re a pasty white kid. Start acting like one. | 你跟我把舌头伸直了再说话 |
| [07:24] | Fine. | 好 |
| [07:26] | Oh, this is cool. | 这个好酷哦 |
| [07:30] | It does say, “Mom. “ | 确实很有老妈的风范 |
| [07:32] | Charlie, be serious. | 查理 认真点 |
| [07:33] | Jake, if you wanna help, | 杰克 如果你真想帮忙 |
| [07:35] | find something that’s appropriate for your grandma. | 那就找点适合给你奶奶的东西 |
| [07:37] | Like what? | 比如 |
| [07:38] | See if they got a grizzly bear ripping apart a salmon. | 看看他们有没有残忍强壮的大灰熊 |
| [07:45] | Hi there. | 你好啊 |
| [07:46] | May I help you find something? | 我能帮你们挑礼物吗 |
| [07:48] | Oh, yeah. We’re looking for | 是啊 我们在找 |
| [07:49] | a birthday gift for our mother. | 给妈妈的生日礼物. |
| [07:50] | Oh, how sweet. Whers her birthday? | 你们真好 她生日什么时候啊 |
| [07:53] | Today. | 今天 |
| [07:55] | He forgot. | 是他忘了 |
| [07:56] | Well, tell me something about her. | 好吧 告诉我她的个性 |
| [07:58] | What does she like? | 她是个怎样的人 |
| [07:59] | Hurting people. | 毒舌妇 |
| [08:02] | Charlie | 查理… |
| [08:03] | It’s a little hard to answer that | 这个问题比较难以回答 |
| [08:04] | because we have a strained relationship. | 因为我们关系不太好 |
| [08:07] | Oh, so you’d like to find a gift that | 噢 这么说你们想买件礼物 |
| [08:09] | would help bring you closer together? | 让你们之间关系更加紧密 |
| [08:11] | No, no. No, no. Oh, no. No. | 不想不想不想 |
| [08:15] | This is just your standard family obligation | 这就是一种家庭责任 |
| [08:17] | here it is, happy birthday, | “祝你生日快乐 这是礼物 |
| [08:18] | stay-off-our-backs kind of thing. | 离我们远点儿” 就这意思 |
| [08:21] | But with a pretty bow. | 但是会很礼貌的说 |
| [08:23] | I see. And what is your price range? | 好吧 大概需要多少钱的 |
| [08:27] | Enough that she can’t complain, | 足够让她不抱怨 |
| [08:30] | but not so much that it’s won’th her while to return it. | 但别贵到让她不想退货 |
| [08:32] | Exactly. | 对的 |
| [08:34] | Have you considered | 你们有没有考虑过 |
| [08:35] | a nice perfume? | 送一瓶香水 |
| [08:37] | Do you know her scent? | 你们知道她喜欢的香味吗 |
| [08:38] | Oh, actually I don’t. I do. | 事实上 我不知道 |
| [08:40] | You do? Yep. | 我知道 你知道 |
| [08:41] | Do you carry Chanel N 666 | 是啊 你们有没有夏奈尔666号 (毒药) |
| [08:45] | You know, I think I’m going to let the two of you just browse a bit more | 这样吧 还是你们自己看看 |
| [08:48] | and I’ll be back, maybe. | 我待会回来… 可能也不回来了 |
| [08:54] | Great news. | 好消息 |
| [08:55] | It’s on sale. | 这个在打折呢 |
| [09:01] | Now, remember, this was not a last-minute thing. | 记着啊 这并不是我们一时兴起 |
| [09:03] | Our plan all along was to surprise her. | 我们已经计划好久了 |
| [09:05] | I know how to lie, Dad. | 我知道怎么撒谎 老爸 |
| [09:08] | We’re not lying. We’re being considerate. | 我们不是撒谎 只是为她着想 |
| [09:10] | By lying. | 通过说谎的方式 |
| [09:14] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [09:16] | Oh, what a surprise. | 真是个惊喜啊 |
| [09:18] | That was the plan all along. | 我们计划好久了 |
| [09:22] | I don’t know what to say. | 我不知道该怎么说 |
| [09:24] | After the last time we spoke, I assumed that | 我们上次谈过以后 我还以为… |
| [09:26] | Come on, Mom. | 别这样 妈妈 |
| [09:28] | No matter what, you’re still our mother. | 无论如何 你还是我们的妈妈呀 |
| [09:29] | Right, Charlie? You’re still our mother. | 对吧 查理? 你还是我们的妈妈呀 |
| [09:33] | Give her her present, Jake. | 把礼物给她 杰克 |
| [09:34] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [09:35] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:37] | Oh, it’s heavy. | 好重哦 |
| [09:38] | It’s just a bowl. | 是个大碗 |
| [09:39] | I wanted to get you a bear eating a fish. | 我本想给你买只可怕的吃鱼的大灰熊的 |
| [09:42] | But we got her a nice crystal bowl instead. | 但还是买了个不错的水晶碗 |
| [09:47] | So can we come in? | 我们能进去吗 |
| [09:48] | Actually, I’m having a little party. | 事实上 我正在开个小派对 |
| [09:50] | A party? | 派对 |
| [09:51] | And you didn’t invite us? | 你没有邀请我们 |
| [09:53] | Charles, if someone’s not going to mourn at my funeral | 查理 如果某人连在我葬礼上默哀都不肯 |
| [09:56] | I certainly don’t want them at my birthday party. | 我当然是不会邀请他来参加我的生日派对啦 |
| [09:59] | Well, then who’s here? | 那谁会在这呢 |
| [10:02] | People who love me. | 那些爱我的人 |
| [10:03] | People who care about me and accept me for who I am. | 那些在乎我并接受我的个性的人 |
| [10:07] | Oh, I gotta see this. | 哦 我倒要看看 |
| [10:10] | Please come in. | 请进 |
| [10:14] | Oh, hello. | 你好 |
| [10:16] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [10:17] | Charlie, Alan, Jake, I’d like you to meet | 查理 艾伦 杰克 这几位是 |
| [10:20] | Roger and Philip and their son, Changpu. | Roger Philip以及他们的儿子张普 |
| [10:24] | These are my sons and grandson. | 这些人是我的儿子和孙子 |
| [10:26] | Oh, hi. Nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你们 你好 |
| [10:27] | Your mom is such an incredible woman. | 你妈妈是个绝妙的女人 |
| [10:30] | She’s like the loving mother I never had. | 我的亲妈都没她好 |
| [10:32] | She’s fabulous. | 她太棒了 |
| [10:34] | We’re one big, happy family. | 我们是个快乐的家庭 |
| [10:39] | Son of a bitch. She got new people. | 他姥姥的 她还真换掉了身边的人 |
| [10:50] | Who are these guys? | 这些人是谁 |
| [10:51] | You’re surprised I have friends? | 你很奇怪我还有朋友吗 |
| [10:53] | You’re surprised that I’m surprised? | 你很奇怪我会奇怪吗 |
| [10:56] | Roger works in my real-estate office, | Roger在我的房地产公司工作 |
| [10:57] | Philip does my hair. | Philip是我的发型师 我介绍他俩认识 |
| [11:00] | And I introduced them. They make a lovely couple, don’t they? | 他们就像恩爱的夫妻俩 对吧 |
| [11:02] | Yeah, I guess. | 是啊 |
| [11:03] | And they adopted | 然后他们收养了… |
| [11:05] | Chung King? | …张皮 |
| [11:07] | Changpu. Yes, from China. | 张普 从中国来的孩子 |
| [11:10] | Of course, I had to help them a bit, | 当然我帮了他们一点忙 |
| [11:12] | greasing the bureaucratic wheels. | 你知道 就是做通一些官方工作 |
| [11:14] | You bribed someone? | 你行贿 |
| [11:15] | Oh, don’t be ridiculous. | 别开玩笑了 |
| [11:17] | I merely slept with a commie. | 我都很少和共产党员睡觉的(汗 ) |
| [11:20] | Is this goose liver? | 这是鹅肝吗 |
| [11:22] | It’s *** with endive. | 这是特制菊苣 |
| [11:24] | Philip’s special recipe. | Philip的特色菜 |
| [11:25] | Oh, you gotta give it to me. | 哦 你一定要把这个食谱给我 |
| [11:26] | Well, I’ll trade you. | 我跟你换啊 |
| [11:27] | My recipe for your mother. | 用食谱换你妈妈 |
| [11:29] | Done. | 成交 |
| [11:31] | You are so lucky. | 你真幸运 |
| [11:32] | My mother is a bitch on wheels. | 我妈简直就是个贱货 |
| [11:35] | Your mother? What about my mother? | 你吗 那我妈呢 |
| [11:36] | Fine, your mother’s a bitch too. | 好啦 你妈也贱啦 |
| [11:38] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [11:41] | So do you have a PlayStation or an Xbox? | 你有PlayStation或Xbox吗 (游戏机) |
| [11:44] | I have a cello. | 我有大提琴 |
| [11:46] | What do you play on that? | 你用那个玩什么 |
| [11:47] | Beethoven, Brahms, Bach, Shostakovich. | 贝多芬 勃拉姆斯 巴赫 |
| [11:51] | So no “Grand Theft Auto”? | 没有《侠盗猎车手》 |
| [12:18] | Oh, this is a treat. | 我的孩子们 |
| [12:20] | My boys, my boys. Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [12:22] | Make a wish. | 许个愿吧 |
| [12:23] | Why? You’re already here. | 我无需许愿了 我已经有你们了 |
| [12:25] | My wish has come true. | 我的愿望已经成真 |
| [12:31] | Who wishes for two gay guys and a Chinese kid? | 谁许愿想要俩同性恋男人和个中国孩子啊 |
| [12:36] | Oh, and now, Evy, we have a very special present for you. | Evy 我们有个特别的礼物要送给你 |
| [12:40] | What do you think, a bear eating a bear? | 你猜是什么 大灰熊 |
| [12:45] | Changpu is going to perform a cello concerto. | 张普要给你表演一曲大提琴协奏曲 |
| [12:47] | He wrote it himself in your honor. | 他自己专门为你写的曲子 |
| [12:49] | How marvelous. | -太棒了 -一定要做好 (中文= = ) |
| [12:55] | Should I give her the card now? | 我应该现在给她贺卡吧 |
| [12:57] | Forget about the card, Jake. | 别给了 杰克. |
| [12:59] | Shh, shh, shh. | 小声点小声点 |
| [13:01] | Shampoo is gonna play. | 张屁要演奏了 |
| [13:13] | Don’t feel bad. | 别不爽 |
| [13:14] | I bet he can’t burp the alphabet. | 他肯定连字母表都背不出 |
| [13:20] | Well, that was one of the most bizarre evenings | 这是我所度过的 |
| [13:23] | I’ve ever spent. | 最怪异的一个夜晚 |
| [13:24] | It was right up there. | 就这样了 |
| [13:26] | I thought it was fabulous. | 偶觉得粉不错的说哦 |
| [13:31] | You know what’s happened, don’t you? | 你知道怎么回事儿了吧 |
| [13:33] | We’ve been replaced. | 我们被人代替了 |
| [13:35] | Hey, fine with me. | 我无所谓 |
| [13:36] | As long as she’s got Siegfried and Roy, | 只要她找的不是Siegfried和Roy (德国著名魔术师搭档组合 以训练白虎闻名) |
| [13:37] | we don’t have to deal with her. | 我们是不用和她打交道了 |
| [13:39] | It’s fine with me too. | 我也无所谓 |
| [13:41] | I just can’t believe | 我只是无法相信 |
| [13:43] | she conned these guys into thinking she’s a good witch. | 她让那俩傻小子相信了她是个好人 |
| [13:45] | Well, we know she’s not. | 我们可知道她绝非善类 |
| [13:46] | You’re damn right. You said it, sister. | 那确实 粉正确的说 |
| [13:50] | Hey, SpongeBob GayPants, take a break. | 怪腔怪调的家伙 别说啦 |
| [13:57] | You don’t think we might | 你不觉得我们或许… |
| [13:58] | have been wrong about Mom. | 对妈妈的感觉是错误的吗 |
| [14:01] | What? | 说什么 |
| [14:01] | I’m just saying that Roger and Philip | 我只是觉得Roger和Philip |
| [14:03] | obviously see something in her that we don’t. | 明显从她身上看到了我们所没有看到的 |
| [14:06] | Who knows her better? Us or them? | 谁更了解她 我们还是他们 |
| [14:07] | Oh, us. No question. | 当然是我们 毫无疑问 |
| [14:09] | But maybe there’s a part of her we’re missing. | 但是或许我们错过了她的某个好的部分 |
| [14:11] | Alan, there’s a part of her she’s missing. | 艾伦 是她自己缺失了某一部分 |
| [14:14] | It’s called her soul. | 那个叫”好心肠”的部分 |
| [14:16] | Snap. | 对滴 |
| [14:28] | Hey, Mom, how are you? | 妈妈 你还好吧 |
| [14:30] | Charlie, what a pleasant surprise. | 查理 真是个惊喜哦 |
| [14:32] | Oh, I was just calling to say happy birthday again | 哦 我只是想打个电话在问候你生日快乐 |
| [14:35] | and thanks for last night. | 还有谢谢昨晚的款待 |
| [14:36] | It was so nice to meet Philip and Roger | 我很高兴认识Philip Roger还有… |
| [14:40] | and Shanghai. | 张旭 |
| [14:42] | Changpu. | 张普 |
| [14:44] | And thank you for the lovely crystal bowl. | 还有谢谢你可爱的水晶碗 |
| [14:47] | Oh, good, you like it? | 很好 你喜欢吗 |
| [14:48] | Like it? Well, I love it. | 我太喜欢了 |
| [14:50] | I’m admiring it right now. | 我现在正在看着它呢 |
| [14:53] | Great, great. | 很好很好 |
| [14:55] | Listen, dear, I’ve really gotta go. | 亲爱的 我要走了 |
| [14:56] | No, wait, Mom. | 别别别 妈妈 等等 |
| [14:58] | I wanna clear the air | 我想澄清一下 |
| [14:59] | about that stuff that got said a couple of weeks ago. | 几个星期前说过的一些话 |
| [15:01] | What’s that? | 什么话 |
| [15:03] | Well, I don’t have any problems with you being who you are. | 我们其实不在乎你是怎样的人 |
| [15:06] | That whole thing about you needing to change, | 而且要你改变之类的话 |
| [15:08] | well, that’s Alars deal. | 其实是艾伦的主意 |
| [15:11] | Oh, I knew that. Yeah. | 哦 我早就知道 |
| [15:13] | The thing I love about our relationship is | 是啊是啊 我最喜欢我们之间关系的一点就是 |
| [15:16] | that you don’t try to change me, | 你不曾想改变我 |
| [15:18] | I don’t try to change you. | 我也不想改变你 |
| [15:19] | We accept each other as, you know, incapable of changing. | 我们都接受了对方的个性 就是: 无法改变 |
| [15:22] | That is very sweet. | 你真好 |
| [15:24] | Okay, here you go. Eggs Benedict, | 来了Benedict鸡蛋 |
| [15:27] | my own reci | 我独有的配方 |
| [15:29] | Anything else? | 还有别的事吗 |
| [15:30] | No, no, I guess not. | 没有了 |
| [15:33] | Love you. | 爱你 |
| [15:34] | You too. | 我也是 |
| [15:35] | Bye-bye. | 再见 |
| [15:36] | Who was that? | 那是谁啊 |
| [15:37] | Oh, nobody. | 不值一提的人 |
| [15:40] | You said there was something important | 你说你有些重要的事情 |
| [15:42] | you wanted to talk to me about? | 想跟我谈谈 |
| [15:44] | Yeah, yeah. | 是啊是啊 |
| [15:45] | I was just thinking about | 我在想 |
| [15:46] | Mm. Mm. Too much lemon juice in the sauce. | 嗯 荷兰辣酱油里放太多柠檬汁了 |
| [15:48] | Oh, gee, I’m sorry. | 哦 不好意思啊 |
| [15:51] | You should ask Philip for his recipe. | 你应该向Philip要他的配方 |
| [15:54] | I will. | 我会的 |
| [15:55] | You might also ask him who cuts his hair. | 你应该也问问他在哪儿剪的头发 |
| [15:58] | You don’t have to be gay to look nice. | 你不用打扮得这么GAY 也会好看的 |
| [16:04] | I’ll ask. | 我会问的 |
| [16:05] | Anyway, I just wanted to clear the air about | 我只是想澄清一下 |
| [16:07] | a few things. | 一些事情 |
| [16:09] | Really? Like what? | 是吗 比如说什么呢 |
| [16:12] | Well, you know, that stuff | 你知道 就是… |
| [16:14] | that got said a couple of weeks ago. | 我们几个星期之前说的那些话 |
| [16:17] | I just want you to know | 我只想让你知道… |
| [16:20] | it was Charlie’s idea. | 那都是查理的主意 |
| [16:22] | Oh, I knew that. | 我早就知道 |
| [16:25] | Yeah, I only went along because, you know | 我只是因为他是我哥哥 |
| [16:27] | he’s the older brother | 才跟着他说的… |
| [16:29] | and he might have been drunk. | 他可能当时也醉了 |
| [16:32] | Well, I’m just glad one of my sons cares about me. | 好吧 我很高兴至少有一个儿子在乎我 |
| [16:35] | I do. I love you, Mommy. | 当然是我啦 我爱你 妈咪 |
| [16:38] | Right back at you. | 我也是 |
| [16:40] | Now skedaddle. | 好了 你可以闪了 |
| [16:41] | Philip and Roger will be here any minute. | Philip和Roger随时会来了 |
| [16:43] | Oh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:47] | Oh, look, there they are. | 哦 这是他们啊 |
| [16:51] | Philip, Roger and Changpu. | Philip Roger和张普 |
| [16:54] | No pictures of me or Jake. | 没有我或杰克的照片吗 |
| [16:58] | Sweetheart, I’ve been asking for a decent picture for years. | 亲爱的 我老早以前就问你们要照片了 |
| [17:02] | All I’ve ever gotten was a school photo of Jake | 我现在还只有杰克的学校集体照 |
| [17:05] | where he appeared to be sucking on his shirt. | 而且照片中他好像在吮吸自己的衬衫 |
| [17:07] | Oh, yeah. They served spaghetti on picture day. | 是啊 那天他们学校午餐是意大利面条 |
| [17:11] | Oh, hey, you know what we should do? | 你知道吗 |
| [17:13] | We should get together and take a nice family portrait. | 我们应该聚在一起照一张家庭照片 |
| [17:16] | That sounds lovely. | 不错啊 |
| [17:17] | Great. I’ll set it up. | 好的 我会安排的 |
| [17:19] | Terrific. Okay. Bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [17:22] | Bye-bye. | 再见 |
| [17:25] | Did I tell you that I love you, Mommy? | 妈咪 我有没有告诉你我爱你 |
| [17:28] | Yes, but I never tire of hearing it. | 说了 但是我还想听一遍 |
| [17:30] | Oh, well, in that case, I love you, Mommy. | 好吧 我爱你 妈咪 |
| [17:39] | I really should have stopped drinking during pregnancy. | 如果当初我怀孕时不喝酒 这孩子也不会这么弱智了 |
| [17:58] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [18:00] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [18:07] | Hey, Alan? | 嘿 艾伦? |
| [18:08] | Yeah? | 怎么了 |
| [18:10] | I couldn’t help noticing | 我刚看到 |
| [18:12] | there’s a photographer in the living room. | 客厅里有个摄影师啊 |
| [18:14] | Oh, yeah, we’re | 是啊 我们… |
| [18:16] | taking a family picture. | 我们要拍家庭照片 |
| [18:17] | Family picture. | 家庭照片 |
| [18:20] | Would it be rude of me | 我能告诉你你这个计划中的最大缺陷吗 |
| [18:22] | to point out the obvious flaw in your plan? | 你没有邀请我 |
| [18:25] | I didn’t think you’d be interested. | 我不觉得你会有兴趣 |
| [18:26] | I’m not. | 我是没有 |
| [18:29] | So it’s just you and Little Lord Scratch ‘r Sniff? | 所以说就你和你那个舌头伸不直的儿子 |
| [18:33] | Hey, if you don’t sniff it, | 你不想偶这样说话 |
| [18:34] | you don’t know what it is. | 怎么知道偶舌头伸不直涅 |
| [18:40] | Actually, it’s a picture of me, Jake and Mom. | 事实上 是我 杰克和妈妈一起照 |
| [18:44] | Mom? | 妈妈 |
| [18:45] | Mom who? | 哪个妈妈 |
| [18:47] | She said she didn’t have any good pictures of us. | 她说她想要一张我们的照片 |
| [18:51] | Wait a minute, when did you talk to Mom? | 等会儿 你和妈说话了 |
| [18:55] | She called me. | 她打电话给我的 |
| [18:57] | You’ve been sucking up to her behind my back, haven’t you? | 你是不是背着我讨好妈妈 |
| [19:01] | Charlie, you have no idea how insane that sounds. | 查理 你这么想真是荒唐可笑 |
| [19:06] | All I know is after everything that’s happened | 在这种情况下 |
| [19:09] | I would never talk to her without talking to you first. | 在你和她说话之前我是绝对不会和她说话的 |
| [19:11] | You wouldn’t? | 你不会 |
| [19:13] | What kind of person do you take me for? | 你把我想成什么人了啊 |
| [19:15] | I’d rather cut off my arm | 我宁可少条胳膊 |
| [19:16] | than pick up the phone and try to undermine my brother. | 也不愿背着我弟弟跟我妈说话 |
| [19:20] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [19:22] | That’s why I’m | 所以说… |
| [19:24] | taking a bullet here for the both of us. | 我这是替你挡了这一劫 |
| [19:27] | Well, | 哦 |
| [19:28] | thanks. | 谢谢了 |
| [19:30] | You don’t have to thank me. | 你不用谢我.. |
| [19:32] | I’m your brother. | 我是你弟弟啊 |
| [19:35] | Ooh. Mommy’s here. | 噢 妈咪来了 |
| [19:39] | Might as well get this over with. | 咱把这事儿了结了吧 |
| [19:41] | Wait a sec, hang on. | 等会儿 |
| [19:44] | Let me go change. | 我要去换衣服 |
| [19:45] | You actually wanna be in the picture? | 你想出现在这照片里吗 |
| [19:46] | No, no, no. Are you kidding? | 不不不 你开玩笑吧 |
| [19:49] | But it’s not fair for you to have to do it alone. | 只是我不想让你一个人承担这一切 |
| [19:52] | Oh. Well, thanks. | 哦 好吧 谢了 |
| [19:55] | You don’t have to thank me. | 你不用谢我 |
| [19:57] | I’m your brother. | 我是你哥哥啊 |
| [20:01] | Hi, Mom. Hello, dear. | 你好 妈妈 亲爱的 |
| [20:03] | Mom, how are you? Good to see you. | 妈妈 你好吗 真高兴见到你 |
| [20:05] | Hi, Charlie. | 你好 查理. |
| [20:06] | Oh, what a marvelous house. | 哇 这房子真不错 |
| [20:09] | Adorable. | 太棒了 |
| [20:11] | Mom? | 妈妈 |
| [20:12] | You said you wanted a family portrait. | 你说你想要家庭照片啊 |
| [20:14] | They’re family. | 他们就是我家人啊 |
| [20:18] | Okay, well, I’m going back to bed. | 好吧 我去睡了 |
| [20:20] | Charlie, what about the picture? | 等会儿 查理 照片怎么办 |
| [20:22] | Put me down for a wallet size. | 记得给我一张放在钱包里 |
| [20:24] | I just love what you’re wearing. | 偶好稀饭你的衣服哦 |
| [20:52] | Like that? | 这样吗 |
| [20:53] | Yeah. But what was all that crap in the beginning? | 是啊 但前奏那么长干吗 |
| [20:56] | Introduction of my own composition. | 那是我作品的序曲啊 |
| [20:59] | No offense, but “Smoke on the Water” doesn’t begin | 但是我们弹的可是”水上烟” |
| [21:01] | with crap on the water. | 不是”水上便便” |
| [21:05] | My apologies. | 不好意思 |
| [21:06] | Okay, let’s take it from the top. | 好 重新来 |
| [21:08] | One, two, three, four. | 一 二 三 四 |
| [21:19] | The play date was a good idea. | 让他们一起玩倒是个好主意 |
| [21:21] | Yeah, let’s see how Grandma likes her prodigy | 好吧 看看他奶奶会有多喜欢 |
| [21:24] | after he sponges up our sponge. | 我们的傻小子把这傻小子带坏 |