| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Oh, hey, Alan. Jake, your dad’s here. | 嘿 艾伦 杰克 你老爸来了 |
| [00:11] | So, how’s it going? | 最近咋样呀? |
| [00:13] | -All good. – Good. | -很好 -那就好 |
| [00:15] | -You? – Good. | -你呢? -也很好 |
| [00:16] | Well, good. | 那就好 |
| [00:20] | Yeah, good. | 相当的好 |
| [00:24] | Gooood. | 很…好 |
| [00:30] | Well, I, uh, I see you put in a new mailbox. | 噢 我 我发现你换了一个信箱 |
| [00:32] | Oh, yeah, the old one was pretty shoddy. | 嗯 是呢 原来那个质量很差 |
| [00:35] | Whoever put it in didn’t anchor the pole correctly. | 也不知道是谁安的 站都站不稳 |
| [00:37] | That would be me. | 那个人就是我 |
| [00:40] | Oh, sorry. | 噢 不好意思 |
| [00:41] | The mailman was complaining about the wiggle. | 邮递员抱怨说它摇摇晃晃的 |
| [00:43] | Herb, the mailman’s a pothead. | 哈珀 那个邮递员是个瘾君子 |
| [00:45] | Yeah, I know. I caught him eating my tomato plants. | 恩 我知道 有次他偷吃我番茄的时候被我逮到了 |
| [00:48] | Anyway, I just decided to replace the whole thing. | 反正最后我决定换一个新的了 |
| [00:50] | Yeah, I see it, uh, it now says “The Melnicks.” | 恩 看到了 上面写着”梅尔尼克家” |
| [00:53] | Well, I paid for the mailbox. | 我花钱买的信箱 |
| [00:57] | I get my mail there. | 我在这里收信 |
| [00:59] | -My name’s Melnick… – Yeah, I… I get it. | -我的名字就是梅尔尼克… -嗯 我…我晓得了 |
| [01:01] | I mean, what does it say on your mailbox? | 那你的信箱上写着什么? |
| [01:03] | Charlie Harper. | 查理 哈珀 |
| [01:07] | Jake! | 杰克!(再不出来就没话说了) |
| [01:09] | No need to yell. He’s in the bathroom. | 喊也没用 他在厕所里 |
| [01:12] | Big surprise, eh? | 懒人屎尿多哈? |
| [01:14] | He’s either shoveling it in or shooting it out. | 他除了吃就是拉 |
| [01:17] | Yeah, he’s a regular Play-Doh fun factory. | 他简直就是培乐多超级妙趣工厂 注”美国儿童玩具品牌 以橡皮泥出名 |
| [01:20] | Just go make sure he hasn’t fallen asleep in there again. | 进去看看吧 免得他又在马桶上睡着了 |
| [01:23] | Yes, dear. | 遵命 亲爱的 |
| [01:26] | So, how’s everything? | 最近怎么样? |
| [01:28] | Fine. Listen, Alan, I’ve been thinking | 很好 听着 艾伦 我在想 |
| [01:30] | now that Jake’s a teenager, | 既然现在杰克已经进入青春期了 |
| [01:31] | he’d benefit from spending some more time with his dad. | 他跟爸爸一起或许更好些 |
| [01:34] | Oh, oh, that would be great. | 噢 噢 想法不错嘛 |
| [01:36] | Nothing would make me happier than to spending more time with my son. | 能跟自己的儿子一起过 是最开心的事情了 |
| [01:39] | Good. | 那就好 |
| [01:41] | Hey, Dad. | 嘿 老爸 |
| [01:41] | Oh, hey, buddy. All finished in the bathroom? | 嘿 儿子 该拉的都拉完了吧? |
| [01:44] | For now. You should’ve seen the last one. | 目前来说是拉完了 你真该看看最后一坨 |
| [01:47] | It looked like a question mark. | 长得就跟问号一样 |
| [01:51] | Terrific. | 这么会拉哇 |
| [01:51] | And it came out of my colon. Get it? | 径直从我肠子里出来的 晓得吧? |
| [01:55] | Hilarious. | 很好玩哇 |
| [01:56] | -Commas are easy. – Go. | -估计拉逗号会比较简单一点 -赶紧走吧 |
| [02:00] | Um, so, uh, what are we talking about here? | 呃 我们商量啥来着? |
| [02:03] | You know, an extra day or two every other week? | 每隔一周就多一两天? |
| [02:05] | Actually, I was thinking more like a solid three months. | 事实上 我是说连着三个月 |
| [02:07] | In a row? | 连续? |
| [02:08] | Alan, how many sons do you have? | 艾伦 你有几个儿子呢? |
| [02:10] | As many as you do. | 你有几个 我就几个呗 |
| [02:12] | Look, do you want your kid or not? | 那你还想不想要你儿子的? |
| [02:13] | Of course, but… | 当然啦 但是… |
| [02:15] | well, I’ll have to clear it with Charlie, and… | 我得跟查理说清楚 还有… |
| [02:18] | and there is the financial issue. | 还有财政方面的问题 |
| [02:19] | What financial issue? | 什么财政问题? |
| [02:21] | Well, if he’s going to be living with me, | 如果他要跟我一起住 |
| [02:22] | I’m thinking I should get a sizeable break on the child support. | 我给你的抚养费就应该打个折吧 |
| [02:25] | Well, you’re certainly entitled to your opinion. | 你当然有权发表意见啦 |
| [02:26] | Well, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:36] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [02:40] | Three months in a row? | 连续三个月? |
| [02:41] | Come on. It’ll be fun. | 别这样嘛 很好玩的啦 |
| [02:43] | For who? | 谁好玩? |
| [02:44] | All he does is eat, sleep and clog up the toilets. | 他就只会吃喝拉撒睡 |
| [02:48] | Let’s talk about this later. | 这事儿到家了再说吧 |
| [02:49] | Oh, please, chowderhead can’t hear us. | 哟 得了 这个冬瓜头听不到的 |
| [02:51] | Right, chowderhead? | 是不是呀 笨冬瓜? |
| [02:54] | See? | 看见没? |
| [02:56] | Oh, just admit it: you love having him around. | 承认吧 他来的时候你很高兴的 |
| [02:58] | I love having him around because I always know he’s leaving. | 我高兴那是因为他总会走的 |
| [03:02] | Don’t take the leaving part away from me, Alan. | 不要把”要走”这场戏落下呀 艾伦 |
| [03:05] | Let’s just give it a chance. | 我们就试试嘛 |
| [03:06] | See how it works. | 看看情况到底咋样 |
| [03:07] | That’s what Poland said about the Germans. | 当年波兰也是这么对德国侵略者说的 |
| [03:10] | Been watching the History Channel again? | 最近又迷上历史教育台了? |
| [03:13] | It’s Nazi week. | 是纳粹纪念周 |
| [03:15] | It’s always Nazi week. | 每次都恰好是纳粹纪念周哈 |
| [03:17] | Look, tell you what, why don’t I take you and Jake out to dinner tonight? | 这样吧 我今晚带你和杰克去下馆子? |
| [03:20] | Can we get chili burgers? | 能去吃麦辣鸡腿堡不? |
| [03:59] | Well, this is fun, huh? | 这很有趣啊 |
| [04:00] | The three Harper boys sitting around the campfire putting on the feedbag | 哈珀家的三个小子围着篝火 坐在饲料袋上 |
| [04:04] | Yeah, bite me. | 是啊 有趣你个头啊 |
| [04:09] | So, numbnuts… | 小脑残… |
| [04:13] | Any thoughts as to why your mom dumped you off on us? | 知道为啥你老妈要把你丢给我俩不? |
| [04:16] | Charlie. | 查理 |
| [04:17] | Oh, like you’re not curious. | 说得好像你不想知道一样 |
| [04:18] | No! No, I’m not curious. | 不! 不 我不想知道 |
| [04:20] | She just thought it would be a good idea for him to spend more time with his father. | 她只是觉得 他跟爸爸多待在一起会更有利于成长 |
| [04:24] | Yeah, and I’m trying to | 说得好 那我就是从高速公路边上 |
| [04:26] | save girls a long ride home on the freeway. | 拯救需要搭便车的姑娘 |
| [04:30] | So what’s your theory, Alfalfa? | 你觉得呢 锅盖头? |
| [04:32] | I think you’re just pretending to be considerate so you can have sex with them. | 我觉得你就是假装关心她们 其实是想骗她们上床 |
| [04:39] | No, no, I mean about your mother and Herb. | 不 不是 我在说你老妈和哈珀 |
| [04:43] | They are fighting a lot. | 他们经常吵架 |
| [04:44] | They’re fighting? | 他们吵架? |
| [04:45] | Yep. | 恩 31 |
| [04:49] | 31? 31? | |
| [04:51] | It’s what you get when you add 24 and seven. | 24加7不就是31嘛 |
| [04:57] | You know, they’re fighting all the time. 24/7.31 | 24/7的吵架 加起来不就是31了嘛 注”24/7原意为”24小时/7天” |
| [05:02] | I’m not gonna make it three months, Alan. | 我绝对忍不了三个月的 艾伦 |
| [05:05] | You’re gonna be fine. They’re fighting in front of you? | 船到桥头自然直 他们当着你的面吵? |
| [05:07] | They don’t think they’re fighting in front of me | 他们以为我没听到的啦 |
| [05:08] | ’cause sometimes when I wear the headphones, I turn the music off. | 其实有时候我虽然带着耳塞 但是却没有在听歌 |
| [05:13] | And you figured that out all by yourself? | 你自己想到的点子? |
| [05:15] | Hey, you may think I’m dumb, but you overestimate me. | 嘿 或许你觉得我傻 但是我还没傻到那程度 |
| [05:20] | My mistake. | 我的错 |
| [05:22] | So what are they arguing about? | 那他们都吵些什么? |
| [05:24] | Well, she doesn’t like his parents, he doesn’t like her spending, | 她不喜欢他父母 他觉得她太能花钱 |
| [05:26] | and something about sex. | 还有床上的那些破事 |
| [05:28] | What about sex? | 哪些破事儿啊? |
| [05:30] | That’s when I turn the music back on, you sick freak. | 听到这个时候我就开音乐了 你个大变态 |
| [05:38] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [05:39] | I mean, that’s my mother. | 她可是我亲娘 |
| [05:41] | I said I’m sorry. | 我都说过对不起了 |
| [05:44] | Man, I’m not gonna make it three months. | 爸 你可叫我怎么忍得了三个月 |
| [05:47] | Oh, great, now he’s got the moral high ground. | 好了 现在反倒是我理亏了 |
| [05:52] | Forget about that. | 先别管这个 |
| [05:53] | The important thing is, Judith and Herb are having marital problems. | 重要的是 朱迪丝和哈珀的婚姻出现问题了 |
| [05:59] | Why does that make you happy? | 你乐什么乐? |
| [06:00] | Well, it’s not happiness exactly. | 虽然不是什么乐子 |
| [06:02] | It’s just that, you know, all these years she’s been blaming me | 只是这些年来她总把我们的 |
| [06:05] | for the failure of our marriage, and now… | 婚姻失败归咎于我 而现在… |
| [06:09] | Yeah, I guess happiness pretty much sums it up. | 乐 乐死我了 非常可乐 |
| [06:16] | Hey, what’s this I hear about Little Lord Skidmark coming to live here full time? | 嘿 我怎么听说”大便王子” 要一直住在这里了? |
| [06:22] | Oh, it’s just for a few weeks. | 噢 只是几个星期罢了 |
| [06:24] | I’m sure if we all pull together, you’ll hardly even notice he’s here. | 我想多一个人少一个人都差不多 你感觉不到有啥差别的 |
| [06:27] | Yeah, pull this. | 是吗 那你来试试看 |
| [06:31] | Charlie! | 查理! |
| [06:32] | You and me gotta have a conversation. | 我们得好好谈谈 |
| [06:37] | Nice talking to you. | 就喜欢跟爽快人说话 |
| [06:43] | Hey, Alan. | 嘿 艾伦 |
| [06:44] | Oh, hey, Herb. | 嘿 哈珀 |
| [06:44] | Judith asked me to drop this stuff off for Jake. | 朱迪丝叫我把这些东西拿过来给杰克 |
| [06:46] | -Oh, let me help you. – Thanks. | -噢 我来帮你拿 -谢谢 |
| [06:51] | So, what have you two lovebirds got planned for the next few months? | 你们两口子这几个月打算去哪儿玩呀? |
| [06:56] | Second honeymoon? | 再度一次蜜月? |
| [06:58] | No, not exactly. | 不 不是这样的 |
| [06:59] | Hard to believe you’re coming up on your second anniversary. | 真不敢相信你们现在就开始 庆祝第二个结婚纪念日了 |
| [07:02] | Yep. Hard to believe. | 是呀 真不敢相信 |
| [07:04] | Two years. | 都两年了 |
| [07:07] | Time flies when you’re having fun, eh? | 快乐的时光总是过得那么快哈? |
| [07:10] | I wouldn’t know. | 我可说不好 |
| [07:14] | Hey, Herb. | 嘿 哈珀 |
| [07:15] | Hey, Charlie. | 嘿 查理 |
| [07:16] | You ask him about his marriage going down the crapper? | 你有没有幸灾乐祸问人家婚姻问题呀? |
| [07:23] | I was easing into it. | 我拐着弯儿在问呢 |
| [07:24] | So was I. | 我也是嘛 |
| [07:27] | What’s the problem, Herb? | 啥问题呢 哈珀? |
| [07:28] | Is it in the bedroom? It usually starts in the bedroom. | 是房事不? 一般这种问题都是房事不和谐引起的 |
| [07:31] | That’s still my mother, you sick freak! | 她是我亲娘呢 你个大变态! |
| [07:34] | We usually wait till he puts on headphones before we discuss these things. | 每次我们都是等他戴上耳塞 才开始讨论这些的 |
| [07:39] | Gee, Herb, something you should know about the headphones is… | 神呀 哈珀 关于这个耳塞 你应该注意一下… |
| [07:41] | Don’t spoil it. | 不准说 |
| [07:44] | So what’s the deal? Is it sex? | 到底咋回事儿呢? 是不是床上功夫问题呀? |
| [07:46] | No. | 不是 |
| [07:49] | Well, yeah, but… it’s no big deal. | 是啦 但是… 这只是小事嘛 |
| [07:51] | I mean every marriage has an ebb and flow to it. | 每段婚姻都有高潮 低潮嘛 |
| [07:54] | -Of course. – Sure. Sure. | -当然 -这个是自然啦 |
| [07:55] | Right now Judith and I are kind of ebbing. A lot. | 现在我和朱迪丝应该就是低潮 非常的低 |
| [08:04] | Right.31 | 是了 31 |
| [08:08] | I don’t know what’s happening, man. | 我都不知道是咋滴啦 哥们儿 |
| [08:09] | We can’t seem to communicate anymore. | 我们完全没有办法交流 |
| [08:10] | She constantly finds fault with me. | 她啥事儿都来怨我 |
| [08:13] | I don’t know what to do. | 我都不知道咋闹了 |
| [08:14] | I’ll tell you what to do. | 我来给你指点迷津 |
| [08:16] | What my testicle-challenged brother should have done. | 我这个软蛋弟弟早就该做的 |
| [08:20] | As soon as she starts complaining, you put your foot down. | 每次她抱怨你的时候 你就对她来硬的 |
| [08:22] | Let her know who’s in charge. | 让她知道谁是当家的 |
| [08:23] | And no matter what, do not let her use sex as a weapon. | 无论如何 都不让她以性相要挟 |
| [08:26] | You let her know that if she won’t satisfy your needs, | 你得让她知道 如果她不来满足你的需求 |
| [08:28] | there’s plenty of women out there who will. | 大把女人排着队等着呢 |
| [08:30] | Really? | 真的? |
| [08:31] | Why would I lie? | 我干嘛要骗你? |
| [08:34] | Women like Judith respond to strength | 像朱迪丝这样的女人对那些力量型 |
| [08:36] | and confidence, not… | 自信型男性着迷 而不是… |
| [08:38] | well, that. | 这种的 |
| [08:43] | Oh, yomake a compelling case. | 喔 你还真是强硬派 |
| [08:44] | Damn right I do. | 那当然 |
| [08:45] | Now go claim what’s yours. | 你也去强你的硬吧 |
| [08:47] | I believe I will. Thanks, Charlie. | 我相信我会的 谢谢 查理 |
| [08:51] | I’m here for you, big guy. | 随时恭候 大个 |
| [08:55] | Why did you do that? | 你干嘛要这么做? |
| [08:57] | I get bored. | 无聊呗 |
| [09:11] | Why aren’t you in school? | 你干嘛不去上学? |
| [09:13] | -I’m sick. – Sick? | -我生病了 -病了? |
| [09:16] | Relax, I’m just faking to get out of a math test. | 别紧张 我只是不想参加数学考试 装病而已 |
| [09:20] | Oh, okay, good. You scared me. | 很好 你吓着我了 |
| [09:23] | What’s with the staple gun? | 拿射钉枪干嘛? |
| [09:25] | Oh, the sole’s coming off my shoe. | 我的鞋底掉了 |
| [09:31] | You might want to take it off first. | 你该把鞋先脱下来 |
| [09:34] | Good call. | 好主意 |
| [09:43] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [09:44] | It’s none of my business, but that’s one kid who can’t afford to miss a single day of school. | 本来不关我的事 但那孩子可是一天学都逃不起的 |
| [09:53] | Yeah, like school’s gonna make a difference. | 就好像去上学能起多大作用似的 |
| [09:57] | Crap! | 该死! |
| [10:01] | I stapled my fingers together. | 我把手指钉到一起了 |
| [10:05] | You got a point. | 你说的有道理 |
| [10:11] | Come on, honey. Blow. | 来吧 宝贝儿 擤一个 |
| [10:20] | What’s he got? | 他得了什么病? |
| [10:21] | A cold, I think. | 我想是感冒吧 |
| [10:23] | Then why didn’t you leave him at home? | 那你干嘛不把他留在家里? |
| [10:26] | That way, we all don’t have to get sick. | 那样的话 我们都不会被传染了 |
| [10:30] | And that’s why you should always | 正是因此 你才该去找个 |
| [10:31] | take your shoes to a fully qualified, professional cobbler. | 资深职业鞋匠来修鞋 注”cobbler修鞋匠也有脆皮派的意思 |
| [10:35] | You know what’s good? Apple cobbler. | 知道哪种好吃吗? 苹果脆皮派 |
| [10:38] | What’s the damage, doc? | 伤得厉害么 医生? |
| [10:40] | Will he play the violin again? | 他还能再拉小提琴吗? |
| [10:42] | He’ll be fine. | 他没事的 |
| [10:43] | You might wanna keep him away from staple guns. | 你得让他离射钉枪远点儿 |
| [10:45] | Right. | 好的 |
| [10:46] | Also nail guns, glue guns, pretty much anything with “gun” in it. | 还有打钉枪 喷胶枪 差不多所有带”枪”的东西 |
| [10:51] | Got it. Thanks, Herb. | 知道了 谢谢 哈珀 |
| [10:54] | Hey, Charlie, could I talk for you a sec? | 嘿 查理 能跟你聊一会儿吗? |
| [10:57] | -Why don’t you go wait for me in the car? – Gimme the keys. | -去车里等我吧 -给我车钥匙 |
| [10:59] | I’m not giving you the keys. | 我才不给你车钥匙 |
| [11:01] | Then how am I gonna wait in the car? | 那我怎么在车里等你? |
| [11:04] | I don’t have sunscreen on. I’m very fair-skinned. | 我没涂防晒霜 我皮肤很白的 |
| [11:07] | Then wait under the car. | 那在车底下等 |
| [11:13] | What’s up? | 什么事? |
| [11:14] | Well, remember that advice you gave me about how to handle Judith? | 记得你跟我建议过的 该怎么对付朱迪丝吗? |
| [11:17] | Oh, gee, Herb, that wasn’t so much advice as, you know, social satire. | 哎呀 哈珀 我的建议 不像讽刺小说那么有建设性 |
| [11:22] | Well, it worked out great. | 但是很管用 |
| [11:24] | Really? She bought that king-of-the-castle crap? | 真的? 她真吃”山寨大王”那一套? |
| [11:27] | No, no, she kicked my ass out. | 不是 她把我赶出来了 |
| [11:30] | But the thing is, talking with you and seeing how you live, | 但实际上 跟你聊天 看着你的生活方式 |
| [11:32] | I’m convinced I’m better off single. | 我觉得自己还是单身的好 |
| [11:34] | Is that so? | 是吗? |
| [11:35] | Oh, yeah. I mean, why chew on one chicken wing when you can eat from the whole bucket? | 既然有一整桶鸡翅可吃 干嘛老啃着一块不放? |
| [11:41] | Just so there’s no confusion. | 以防混淆 我问一句 |
| [11:43] | Chicken wings are… | 鸡翅是指… |
| [11:44] | Women, Charlie. I was offering up a metaphor. | 女人 查理 我在打比方 |
| [11:48] | And you went with wings rather than breasts and thighs. | 你用了翅膀做比 不用胸和大腿 |
| [11:52] | Ooh, that is better. | 是哦 这种比方更好 |
| [11:55] | Anyway, I was thinking maybe you and I can go out sometime and get a party pack. | 总之 我想或许你跟我 能找个时间出去搞个全家桶 |
| [12:01] | Sex with strange women. I’m extending the metaphor. | 跟陌生女人上床 我沿用了之前的比方 |
| [12:05] | Of course. Sure, let’s do that sometime. | 当然好 找个时间去吧 |
| [12:07] | Thanks again for sewing up the kid. | 多谢给孩子缝针 |
| [12:09] | So, uh, what color do you like? | 你喜欢什么颜色的? |
| [12:11] | Excuse me? | 什么? |
| [12:15] | Oh, I-I was thinking Asian, but I’ll take the green. | 我本来想说黄种人 还是要绿色的吧 |
| [12:27] | Hey, Dad. | 嗨 老爸 |
| [12:28] | How are you feeling? | 感觉怎么样? |
| [12:30] | Fine. | 挺好 |
| [12:31] | Throat’s not sore anymore? | 嗓子不疼了? |
| [12:34] | Oh, yeah, a little. | 哦 对 还有点儿 |
| [12:37] | What happened to your fingers? | 你的手指怎么了? |
| [12:39] | Oh, I stapled ’em together. | 我把它们钉到一起了 |
| [12:46] | Hey, hey, we do not leave our shoes on the… | 嘿 不能把鞋子放在… |
| [12:56] | What the hell? | 搞什么鬼? |
| [13:01] | We need to get rid of the staple gun. | 我们得把射钉枪扔了 |
| [13:04] | Alan, staple guns don’t staple shoes to coffee tables. | 艾伦 射钉枪不会把鞋子钉到咖啡桌上 |
| [13:08] | Idiots do. | 傻瓜才会 |
| [13:11] | Why are you taking your temperature? | 你干嘛要量体温? |
| [13:13] | I think some little snot locker gave me smallpox. | 我觉得有个鼻涕虫把天花传染给我了 |
| [13:20] | Oh, man, leave me alone. | 伙计 别烦我了 |
| [13:24] | Is that Mom? You think maybe I might want to talk to her? | 是老妈么? 你不觉得 我有可能想跟她说话? |
| [13:27] | Do you? | 你想吗? |
| [13:28] | Of course not. It’s the principle. | 当然不想 原则问题 |
| [13:31] | Well, that wasn’t Mom. It was Herb. | 不是老妈打的 是哈珀 |
| [13:33] | Why is Herb calling? | 哈珀干嘛打电话来? |
| [13:35] | Since Judith threw him out, he wants me to help him pick up women. | 自从朱迪丝把他赶了出来 他就想让我帮他找女人 |
| [13:38] | Wait. Backupbackupbackupbackup backupbackup! | 等等 倒带倒带倒带! |
| [13:41] | Wait. Judith threw Herb out? When? | 等等 朱迪丝把哈珀赶出来了? 什么时候的事? |
| [13:44] | I don’t know. Apparently, about a week ago. | 我不知道 大概一周前吧 |
| [13:47] | Oh, my God. That’s terrible. | 天呐 太糟糕了 |
| [13:51] | Judith must be devastated. | 朱迪丝一定身心交瘁了 |
| [13:59] | -Alan. – Yeah? | -艾伦 -嗯? |
| [14:00] | You got a little evil on your face. | 你表情有点儿邪恶啊 |
| [14:05] | Other side. | 另一边 |
| [14:13] | Oh, Judith, that’s terrible. | 朱迪丝 太糟糕了 |
| [14:15] | You must be devastated. | 你一定身心交瘁了 |
| [14:21] | You must be devastated. | 你一定身心交瘁了 |
| [14:26] | What are you doing here? | 你来干嘛? |
| [14:27] | Oh, I’m sorry to bother you. | 很抱歉打扰你 |
| [14:28] | Apparently, Jake left his Social Studies book, so here I am. | 杰克把他的社科课本忘这儿了 我来取的 |
| [14:32] | I think I saw it in the bathroom. | 我想我在卫生间看到过 |
| [14:34] | Why? Was he out of toilet paper? | 怎么会? 他没厕纸用了吗? |
| [14:40] | Wouldn’t it be great if he could learn that way? | 他能那样学习不是也很好? |
| [14:42] | You know, assmosis. | 拍马屁(擦屁股) |
| [14:47] | -What? – Nothing. | -什么? -没什么 |
| [14:50] | Is Herb around? | 哈珀在吗? |
| [14:52] | Uh, no. | 不在 |
| [14:53] | Oh, too bad. | 真不巧 |
| [14:55] | Why? | 怎么了? |
| [14:57] | No reason. I just enjoy seeing the big galoot. | 没什么 我挺喜欢那个傻大个 |
| [15:00] | Well, the galoot is not here. | 傻大个没在家 |
| [15:03] | Well, uh… tell him I said hi. | 那好… 替我向他问声好 |
| [15:07] | I will. | 我会的 |
| [15:14] | Herb moved out! Our marriage is over! | 哈珀搬出去了! 我们的婚姻完蛋了! |
| [15:20] | Oh, Judith, that’s terrible. | 朱迪丝 太糟糕了 |
| [15:27] | You must be devastated. | 你一定身心交瘁了 |
| [15:41] | What exactly do you have in mind? | 你到底在想什么? |
| [15:43] | Give me your hand. | 把手给我 |
| [15:44] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [15:46] | Do I feel warm to you? | 你觉得我热吗? |
| [15:49] | Dude! | 伙计! |
| [15:51] | Aw, crap. | 该死 |
| [15:52] | So, uh, you fishing here or can I throw my bobber in the water? | 你在这儿钓鱼呢 我能也把鱼饵扔下水不? |
| [15:59] | Bye. | 拜拜 |
| [16:03] | How’d you know I was here? | 你怎么知道我在这儿? |
| [16:04] | Well, I tried calling, but your phone must be broken, | 我打过电话 但你的电话机肯定是坏了 |
| [16:07] | so I went by your house and Jake said you went out. | 所以我去了你家 杰克说你出来了 |
| [16:09] | All I had to do was punch “liquor” into the ol’ in-dash navigation system, | 我只好在导航系统里输入”酒吧” |
| [16:12] | and three stops later, voila. | 找了三个吧之后 瞧啊! |
| [16:15] | So, uh, they biting tonight? | 今晚她们上钩了吗? |
| [16:17] | can we stop with the fish talk? | 能不讲钓鱼那一套吗? |
| [16:20] | Believe me, it’s not gonna lead anyplace good. | 相信我 那可带不来什么好运 |
| [16:23] | Back to the chickens? | 还是拿鸡打比方? |
| [16:25] | If we must. | 万不得已的话 |
| [16:27] | I’ll have what he’s having. | 他喝的什么 我就要什么 |
| [16:29] | I’m having a tall Pain in the Ass. | 我喝的是”大个”麻烦 |
| [16:32] | Sounds good. Does it have rum in it? | 听起来不错 里面有朗姆酒吗? |
| [16:36] | How did this happen? | 怎么会这样? |
| [16:38] | How did I blow another marriage? | 我怎么会把这次婚姻又搞砸了? |
| [16:40] | Oh, sweetie, you can’t blame yourself. | 亲爱的 你不能这么自责 |
| [16:42] | Although you are the common denominator. | 尽管每次都是你惹的事 |
| [16:45] | Alan, I’m 40 years old. | 艾伦 我都40了 |
| [16:47] | How am I ever gonna start over again? | 我怎么能再重头来过? |
| [16:49] | I know, I know. And soon you’re gonna be 41. | 我知道 而且很快你就41了 |
| [16:53] | Do you have any idea what it’s like to try and date when all the men your age | 你明白那种感觉吗 我努力去约会 |
| [16:57] | are only interested in 25-year-old hard bodies? | 但所有同龄的男人都只对25岁 皮肤紧致的小妞感兴趣? |
| [17:00] | Well, you can’t blame us. | 你不能怪我们 |
| [17:04] | Of course, you can’t compete hard body to hard body, | 当然 不能跟皮肤紧致的小妞 比皮肤嘛 |
| [17:08] | but you’re still a very desirable woman. | 但你还是个尤物 |
| [17:10] | You think so? | 你真这么想? |
| [17:11] | Well, of course I do. | 我当然这么想 |
| [17:14] | For your age, you’re a very… | 就你的年龄来说 你是个非常… |
| [17:24] | Hey, Charlie, I’ve got a question for you. | 嘿 查理 我有个问题要问你 |
| [17:26] | Yeah. | 问吧 |
| [17:27] | The hotel I’m staying in has pay-per-view adult movies. | 我住的旅馆里有按次计费的成人电影 |
| [17:32] | Whatever happened to pubic hair? | 阴毛都哪儿去了? |
| [17:36] | Gone the way of the dodo bird, my friend. | 你这就太落伍了 朋友 |
| [17:39] | I mean, I can understand with the ladies, but what’s the deal with the fellas? | 我能理解女人剃 但男人剃了干嘛? |
| [17:44] | It’s like with an ugly house. A little shrubbery helps the curb appeal. | 就好比一座难看的房子 弄点灌木林能为篱笆增色 |
| [17:50] | I don’t have an answer for you, Herb. | 我真没法回答 哈珀 |
| [17:53] | What about you? Do you trim the old hedges? | 你呢? 你修整那些老篱笆吗? |
| [17:55] | Yeah. They’re shaped like Disney characters. | 修剪得跟迪斯尼卡通人物的一样光 |
| [17:58] | Two more vodka tonics. | 再来两杯伏特加奎宁水 |
| [18:01] | Cock-a-doodle-do. | 喔喔 |
| [18:05] | -Hello. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [18:07] | Allow me to introduce myself. Dr. Herbert Melnick. | 请允许我自我介绍一下 我是哈珀ert 梅尔尼克医生 |
| [18:09] | Ooh, a doctor. | 是个医生 |
| [18:10] | Dr. Charlie Harper. | 我是查理 哈珀医生 |
| [18:12] | Wow, two doctors. | 两个医生 |
| [18:15] | Maybe we should let them examine us. | 或许该让他们给我们来个体检 |
| [18:19] | In the interest of full disclosure, | 本着开诚布公的原则 |
| [18:21] | I should let you know that I’m new to the dating world | 我该让你们知道 我是个约会新手 |
| [18:23] | and still have all my original pubic hair. | 我的阴毛还都没剃呢 |
| [18:29] | Oh, Alan, why did I ever let you go? | 艾伦 我怎么就让你走了呢? |
| [18:35] | Well, if I recall, it was something about me sucking the life out of you. | 我回忆下 大概就是 因为我把你的生活榨干了 |
| [18:40] | I was wrong. I was so wrong. | 我错了 我大错特错了 |
| [18:43] | You are a good man and I’m never gonna let you go again. | 你是个好男人 我决不再让你走了 |
| [18:49] | Never? | 决不? |
| [18:51] | Never. | 决不 |
| [18:54] | Never ever? | 永远都不? |
| [19:23] | -Morning. – Morning. | -早上好 -早上好 |
| [19:43] | What was Herb doing here? | 哈珀在这儿干嘛? |
| [19:45] | Oh, he, uh… | 呃… |
| [19:57] | He shaved his pubes and passed out in your room. | 他把阴毛剃了 在你房间睡了一夜 |
| [20:03] | You might want to change the blade in your razor. | 你该换下你剃须刀的刀片吧 |
| [20:08] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [20:11] | Where were you all night? | 你整晚都去哪儿了? |
| [20:13] | I was in Never Ever Land. | 去了永不之地 |
| [20:35] | do I want to know? | 我会想知道这事吗? |
| [20:37] | I took away the staple gun, but he found the superglue. | 我把射钉枪拿走了 但他找到万能胶了 |