| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | Jake. | 杰克 |
| [00:06] | You’re hardly touching your salad. | 你的沙拉都没动啊 |
| [00:08] | I promised Berta I’d cut down on the roughage. | 我向波塔保证不吃粗粮了 |
| [00:17] | Well, all right. | 那么好吧 |
| [00:18] | Why don’t I get the soup. | 我去拿汤 |
| [00:21] | Based on the salad, I’m not so optimistic. | 照这沙拉看起来 汤估计也悬 |
| [00:24] | So you have absolutely no idea why she invited us here? | 你一点都不知道她为什么把我们叫来么 |
| [00:28] | All she said on the phone was “dinner.” | 电话上她只是说一起吃晚饭 |
| [00:29] | And you believed her? | 你居然信了? |
| [00:32] | Good God, man, | 我的上帝 |
| [00:33] | do you realize what you’ve done? | 你知道自己干了什么吗 |
| [00:35] | Just relax. | 放轻松 |
| [00:36] | “Just relax”? | 放轻松? |
| [00:37] | We’ll be lucky to leave here | 如果我们能带着生殖腺和健全的四肢 |
| [00:39] | with all of our limbs and gonads. | 离开这里的话就算幸运了 |
| [00:42] | What’s a gonad? | 什么是生殖腺 |
| [00:44] | You are. | 你 |
| [00:47] | So it’s bad. | 看上去不妙 |
| [00:49] | You’re not a gonad. | 你不是生殖腺 |
| [00:50] | Says the other gonad. | 这是另一只生殖腺说的 |
| [00:55] | Here we go. | 来了 |
| [00:57] | Potato leek soup. | 土豆韭葱汤 |
| [00:58] | Oh, delightful. | 好期待啊 |
| [01:02] | You got any crackers? | 你有饼干吗 |
| [01:03] | “Crackers”? | 饼干? |
| [01:05] | Yeah, I like something crunchy in my soup. | 我喜欢汤里有一些脆的东西 |
| [01:07] | A little goldfish, crouton, a stale bagel… | 金鱼饼干 脆面包 小饼之类的 |
| [01:09] | I’ll check. | 我去看看 |
| [01:11] | Go ahead and start. | 你们先吃吧 |
| [01:12] | Captain Crunch will work in a pinch. | 脆脆船长(谷物品牌)抢风急驶 |
| [01:16] | I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Alan. | 我有不祥的预感 艾伦 |
| [01:19] | What? We’re having a nice dinner with our mother. | 什么 我们在和母亲共进晚餐啊 |
| [01:21] | So you feel it, too? | 你也感觉到了啊 |
| [01:24] | What kind of person doesn’t serve crackers with soup? | 什么人不往汤里加饼干的 |
| [01:28] | The only thing I have that’s crunchy is macadamia nuts. | 脆的东西我只能找到澳洲坚果 |
| [01:34] | Interesting. Let’s give ‘er a try. | 有点意思 我就来试试吧 |
| [01:37] | Well, I suppose you boys are wondering | 我想你们都很好奇 |
| [01:40] | why I asked you here. | 为什么我会叫你们来这儿 |
| [01:41] | You mean this isn’t just a nice, warm family dinner? | 你的意思是 这不仅只是一次温暖的家庭晚餐之旅 |
| [01:45] | Knock it off, Charlie. | 别废话了 查理 |
| [01:48] | I have some good news. | 我有好消息要告诉你们 |
| [01:49] | And no, I’m not dying. | 不 我命还很硬 |
| [01:51] | I didn’t say anything. | 我什么都没说 |
| [01:53] | Why would you even go there? | 你为什么会这样讲 |
| [01:56] | Okay, I’m sorry. | 算我不好 |
| [01:58] | Anyway, I have been doing some financial planning. | 我正在做一些财务上的计划 |
| [02:02] | So you’re thinking about dying? | 你计划准备死了吗 |
| [02:04] | Trust me, darling, I promise to stick around long enough | 相信我 亲爱的 我保证撑到去认领你那 |
| [02:08] | to identify your bloated, gin-soaked, syphilitic remains. | 肿胀又充满酒气 并且感染梅毒的尸体 |
| [02:17] | Okay, so we’ve got a time frame. | 好 至少算是有期限了 |
| [02:20] | So what about your financial plan? | 你的财务计划是什么 |
| [02:23] | Yes, well, one thing I’ve done | 这样的 我必须完成的一件事 |
| [02:25] | is to set aside enough money to ensure | 是拿出足够的钱 |
| [02:28] | that my grandson will get a college education. | 来保证我的孙子能接受大学教育 |
| [02:38] | You’re gonna buy a college? | 你要买下一所大学？ |
| [02:41] | I have set up a trust fund. | 我建立了信托基金 |
| [02:44] | Oh, Mom, Mom, that is, uh, | 妈妈 这真是 |
| [02:46] | that is very generous, but, uh, I actually | 非常慷慨 但实际上我 |
| [02:47] | started a college fund for Jake when he was born. | 在杰克出生的那天就建立了一个基金 |
| [02:49] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [02:52] | How much you have in there now? | 现在里面的有多少钱了 |
| [02:58] | Did you hear? Grandma’s seing you to college. | 你没听见吗 奶奶要送你上大学了 |
| [03:02] | Now? I haven’t finished my soup. | 现在? 我汤还没喝完呢 |
| [03:06] | Mom, have you thought this through? | 妈妈 你真考虑清楚了? |
| [03:08] | Look at him. | 看他这样子 |
| [03:11] | Maybe there should be one child left behind. | 大浪淘沙也至少得刷下一人吧 |
| [03:17] | Charlie, Charlie, shush. | 查理 查理 别说了 |
| [03:19] | Mom, I-I cannot tell you | 妈妈 我真是无法表达 |
| [03:21] | how much I appreciate this. | 我对你的感谢 |
| [03:22] | Jake, do you understand | 杰克 你知道你奶奶 |
| [03:24] | what your grandma is providing here? | 给了你什么吗 |
| [03:26] | Yeah, more school. | 知道 再读几年书 |
| [03:27] | Big whoop. | 有啥大不了的 |
| [03:28] | Well, Jal help enthuse you. | 杰克 也许这能帮你提高热情 |
| [03:31] | If you buckle down and your grades improve, | 如果你开始全心学习 提高成绩的话 |
| [03:33] | when the time comes for you to go to college, | 等你进大学的那一天 |
| [03:35] | Grandmommy is going to buy you a new car. | 奶奶给你买辆新车 |
| [03:38] | I love you, Grandmommy! | 我爱你 奶奶 |
| [04:13] | By the way, when I get my car from Grandma, | 顺便说一声 奶奶给我买车之后 |
| [04:15] | one of you guys is gonna have to park on the street. | 你们其中一人得把车停在马路上了 |
| [04:18] | The car is for college. | 你考进大学才会有车 |
| [04:21] | And what makes you think you’ll still be living here? | 而且你凭什么还住这儿 |
| [04:23] | Oh, comen, you know you love me. | 得了吧 你知道你爱我 |
| [04:26] | He’s got you there. You do love him. | 他说的没错 你确实爱他 |
| [04:28] | Yeah, but he doesn’t have to rub my nose in it. | 但他也不需要这样说啊 |
| [04:34] | So what do you think Mom’s angle is? | 你觉得老妈到底在耍什么把戏 |
| [04:36] | Does she have to have an angle? | 一定得有把戏么 |
| [04:38] | A college trust fund? | 大学信托基金 |
| [04:39] | For him? | 给他建? |
| [04:41] | Last week he bit his hand eating a sandwich. | 上个礼拜他吃三明治还咬到自己手了 |
| [04:44] | He smelled the ham.and He got excited. | 他闻到火腿了 激动了一下 |
| [04:48] | Maybe she’s just trying to buy his love. | 也许她想花钱买孙子对她的爱 |
| [04:50] | Alan, think it through. | 艾伦 想想吧 |
| [04:52] | She could’ve done that with a pork chop | 这个目的只需要一块猪排 |
| [04:54] | and a Creamsicle. | 和一根雪糕就能达到了 |
| [04:56] | Well, whatever it is, it is a big load off my mind | 不管她到底怎么想的 看到杰克接受教育的问题解决 |
| [04:59] | knowing his education’s taken care of. | 对我来说真是松了一大口气 |
| [05:00] | Oh, yeah, that’s what Mom wants, | 哦是啊 老妈是这样想的 |
| [05:02] | to take a load off your mind. | 让你松一大口气 |
| [05:04] | Okay, why do you think she did it? | 好吧 那你觉得她是要干嘛 |
| [05:06] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [05:08] | But if you want to get inside her head, | 但如果你想了解她的想法 |
| [05:10] | you’ve got to start thinking more twisted, | 就得从各种歪门邪道上下手 |
| [05:12] | manipulative, devious. | 控制狂 邪恶 |
| [05:14] | For example, | 举个例子 |
| [05:16] | if by some miracle he gets through college | 如果发生了什么奇迹他读完了大学 |
| [05:19] | and she sends him to law school… | 她再把他送进法学院 |
| [05:20] | L-law school? You’ve already lost me. | 法学院? 我已经彻底糊涂了 |
| [05:23] | Maybe she’s boinking the dean of admissions. | 也许她会跟负责招生的系主任上床 |
| [05:25] | We don’t know. Just hear me out. | 我不知道 反正你听我说就行 |
| [05:26] | Go on. | 继续 |
| [05:28] | Let’s say he crawls through law school, | 我们就假设他勉强从法学院毕业 |
| [05:30] | takes seven or eight shots at passing the bar. | 要补考七八次吧 |
| [05:32] | We know how that ends. | 谁知道呢 |
| [05:35] | So what are his options as a failed lawyer? | 他作为一个失败的律师会有什么前途呢 |
| [05:37] | I don’t know. Government work? | 不知道啊 去政府工作? |
| [05:39] | Exactly. | 就是 |
| [05:41] | Maybe he lands on the zoning commission. | 也许他会在规划部任职 |
| [05:43] | And bingo-bango, Mom finally gets | 然后老妈终于可以 |
| [05:45] | to put a second story on her house. | 把她的房子加到两层了 |
| [05:51] | You really think she’s going to send him to college | 你确定她把杰克送进大学 |
| [05:53] | and law school just so she can add an extra bedroom? | 和法学院就是为了再添一间卧室吗 |
| [05:57] | That’s insane. | 太疯狂了 |
| [05:58] | Is it, Alan? | 是吗 艾伦 |
| [06:02] | Is it really? | 真的疯狂吗 |
| [06:14] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [06:15] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [06:20] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [06:21] | Yeah? | 怎么 |
| [06:22] | You having a stroke? | 你中风了? |
| [06:26] | No, no, I’m just, | 没 没 我只是 |
| [06:28] | I’m just trying to figure out | 只是想弄明白 |
| [06:29] | why I need to go to work today. | 今天干嘛要去上班 |
| [06:31] | I mean, | 我的意思是 |
| [06:32] | Mom’s taking care of Jake’s education, | 有老妈负责杰克的学费 |
| [06:35] | buying him a car. | 帮他买车 |
| [06:37] | Why should I bust my hump? | 我干嘛还那么拼命呢 |
| [06:39] | For your self-respect? | 为了你的自尊? |
| [06:41] | Nah, Judith got that in the divorce. | 不 离婚的时候被朱蒂丝拿走了 |
| [06:45] | ‘Cause you like to heal people’s back pain | 因为你喜欢用你的按摩大法 |
| [06:48] | with your chiropractic magic? | 治愈别人的背部? |
| [06:52] | Okay, well, you’ve got to go somewhere. | 你总得有地方去啊 |
| [06:55] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [06:57] | ‘Cause you’re creeping me out. | 因为你把我吓坏了 |
| [07:03] | I should take up motivational speaking. | 我应该给别人作鼓励演说去 |
| [07:07] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [07:08] | Something’s wrong with your brother. | 你弟弟有点问题啊 |
| [07:09] | We don’t say the word “wrong.” | 我们不该说”有问题” |
| [07:11] | We say “special.” | 而应该说”特殊” |
| [07:14] | No, it’s true. My friends don’t think you’re my grandma. | 不 是真的 我的朋友们都说你不像我的奶奶 |
| [07:16] | They think you’re my young aunt. | 他们说你像我的阿姨 |
| [07:22] | If he gets his nose any further up her keister, | 如果他继续拍马屁的话 |
| [07:24] | we’re gonna have to tie a rope to his feet. | 我们就得把他的脚用绳子绑上 |
| [07:29] | Hey, I was thinking. | 我在想 |
| [07:31] | You know what would be a nice, safe vehicle for me? | 你知道我想要一辆什么样子的漂亮并且安全的车吗 |
| [07:33] | A used police car. | 一辆二手的警车 |
| [07:37] | I don’t know. I guess from the police? | 不知道 我想该是从警察那吧 |
| [07:40] | She’s buying Lunkhead a car? | 她要给小呆子买一辆车 |
| [07:43] | And a college education. Ha. | 和供他上大学 |
| [07:46] | Well, I guess that makes sense | 如果那是个小丑大学并且 |
| [07:47] | if it’s a clown college and the car seats 20. | 那辆车可以坐下20个人的话就没问题 |
| [07:51] | All right, then’ll see you in an hour. | 好吧 一小时后见 |
| [07:55] | Hold on. | 等下 |
| [07:56] | Nah, I don’t need one. | 恩 不需要一个小时 |
| [07:59] | Okay, okay, bye. | 好 好 再见 |
| [08:02] | I’m gonna spend the afternoon with Grandma. | 我打算下午去见奶奶 |
| [08:04] | If she asks, I took a shower. | 她来电话的话 说我去洗澡了 |
| [08:06] | Figured out her angle yet? | 清楚她的意图了吗 |
| [08:08] | No. And that’s what scares me. | 没有 这才是我害怕的 |
| [08:16] | Seemed appropriate | 好像很合适 |
| [08:21] | All right, Mr. Sharipa. | 好的 夏巴先生 |
| [08:24] | How’s it feel right here? | 这里感觉怎么样 |
| [08:25] | A little tender. | 有点紧 |
| [08:26] | Yeah, yeah, you’ve got a spasm right here. | 是的 你这里有点肌肉痉挛 |
| [08:30] | It’s my own fault. | 完全是我的错 |
| [08:31] | I was trying to do it in the shower | 我昨晚想跟我老婆 |
| [08:33] | with Mrs. Sharipa last night. | 一起洗个鸳鸯浴 |
| [08:35] | The woman is no ballerina. | 她不是芭蕾舞演员 |
| [08:40] | Well, sex in the showe is really a young man’s game. | 恩 洗澡的时候做爱的确是年轻人的游戏 |
| [08:43] | Or a middle-aged man with a skinny wife. | 或者是中年男人和他骨瘦如柴的老婆 |
| [08:46] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [08:48] | What can I say? | 我能说什么呢 |
| [08:49] | I like a little junk in the trunk. | 我就像垃圾箱里的垃圾 |
| [08:52] | I, I think that says it. | 我 我认为是那么回事 |
| [08:55] | Slap her on the ass at Christmas, | 圣诞的时候拍了下她的屁股 |
| [08:57] | it doesn’t stop shaking till New Year’s Eve. | 除夕夜的时候还会在抖 |
| [09:02] | Just between you and me, | 我只告诉你 |
| [09:04] | she enjoys a little spanking from Santa. | 她喜欢被圣诞老人打屁股 |
| [09:08] | Who doesn’t? | 谁不喜欢呢 |
| [09:10] | I check the list twice: | 我核实了两遍清单 |
| [09:13] | always naughty. | 总是很有意思 |
| [09:18] | Uh-huh. Could you, uh, | 恩 你可以 |
| [09:20] | turn on your right, Mr. Sharipa. | 靠右转一下吗 夏巴先生 |
| [09:21] | I’ll, uh, try to relieve | 我要 恩 试着放松 |
| [09:23] | the pressure on your sciatic nerve. | 你坐骨神经的压力 |
| [09:25] | Would you cross your arms, please? | 能把你的胳膊抱起来吗 |
| [09:26] | Uh-huh. Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:27] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [09:33] | Excuse me. | 对不起 |
| [09:37] | Oh, no, that, uh, that happens. | 噢 没关系 这很正常 |
| [09:39] | It’s, uh, it’s perfectly natural… | 是人体的自然现象 |
| [09:43] | Oh, dear Lord. | 哦 我的上帝啊 |
| [09:47] | Yeah, that’s the garlic clams I had folunch. | 恩 那是我吃的大蒜蛤 |
| [09:50] | I like them. They don’t like me. | 我喜欢它们 它们不喜欢我 |
| [09:54] | Um, if you’ll just excuse me for a moment. | 嗯 请允许我离开一下 |
| [09:59] | Hey, you know, I feel better. | 嘿 你要知道 我好多了 |
| [10:01] | Maybe that’s where the pressure came from. | 可能压力就是从那里来的吧 |
| [10:06] | Where are you gog, Dr. Harper? | 你去哪 哈勃医生 |
| [10:08] | Home. | 回家 |
| [10:10] | Will you be coming back? | 你还回来吗 |
| [10:12] | Dr. Harper? | 哈勃医生 |
| [10:19] | Oh, my God. | 哦 上帝 |
| [10:34] | Let’s spend a little time | 让我们来聊聊 |
| [10:35] | talking about our college plans. | 我们的大学计划 |
| [10:37] | “Our plans”? | “我们的计划”? |
| [10:39] | Are you going, too? ‘Cause that changes everything. | 你也要去吗 那可就大不一样啦 |
| [10:42] | I’ve already been to college, darling. | 我已经上过大学了 亲爱的 |
| [10:43] | And they were some of the happiest years of my life. | 那时候是我生命中最开心的日子 |
| [10:46] | Really? Mm-hmm. | 真的吗 |
| [10:48] | What kind of car did you have? | 你有什么样的车 |
| [10:51] | Look, Jake, I understand that you’re excited | 听着 杰克我明白你很激动 |
| [10:53] | about getting a car, but keep in mind | 要得到一辆车 但是记住 |
| [10:56] | the car is predicated on you getting into college. | 得到车的前提是你进入大学 |
| [10:59] | Right. | 好吧 |
| [11:01] | What’s “predicated” mean? | “前提”是什么意思 |
| [11:03] | No college, no car. | 不进大学 就得不到车 |
| [11:06] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [11:08] | What if I flunk out? | 如果我退学的话怎么办 |
| [11:10] | Do I have to give the car back? | 我需要把车还给你吗 |
| [11:11] | Oh, sweetheart, | 哦 亲爱的 |
| [11:12] | what makes you think you’d flunk out? | 你怎么会觉得会退学呢 |
| [11:14] | Well, history. | 嗯 历史教训 |
| [11:15] | Right now there’s a 60/60 chance | 现在有六十分之六十的可能性 |
| [11:17] | I’m gonna have to repeat eighth grade. | 我将要重读八年级 |
| [11:20] | 60/60, huh? | 六十分之六十 |
| [11:23] | At least. | 至少吧 |
| [11:24] | It could be 70/40. | 也可能是四十分之七十 |
| [11:26] | Well, we can rule out the Ivy League. | 恩 我们可以把常春藤联校排除在外 |
| [11:29] | Is that good? | 那样好吗 |
| [11:30] | For the Ivy League. | 当然 对常春藤联校来说 |
| [11:32] | You know, dear, | 亲爱的 |
| [11:34] | maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. | 可能我们方式错了 |
| [11:37] | College should be about pursuing the things you love. | 上大学是为了去追逐自己想要的东西 |
| [11:39] | What do you love? | 你喜欢什么 |
| [11:41] | Um, TV, video games, sleeping. | 恩 看电视 打游戏 睡大觉 |
| [11:44] | I love sleeping so much | 我非常喜欢睡觉 |
| [11:46] | sometimes I actually dream about it. | 有时候我做梦都梦到睡觉了 |
| [11:49] | Okay, maybe I wasn’t clear enough. | 好吧 可能我没有说清楚 |
| [11:52] | Oh, you know what I really love? | 哦 你知道我最喜欢的是什么吗 |
| [11:53] | Twice-dipped French toast | 两层的法国面包 |
| [11:55] | with a sprinkling of orange zest. | 中间涂满橘子果酱 |
| [11:56] | Orange zest? | 橘子味道的 |
| [11:58] | Yeah, you scrape it from an orange peel. | 是的 你可以从橘子上剥下来 |
| [11:59] | It’s what really makes my recipe work. | 这实际上是我的食谱 |
| [12:01] | You have a recipe? | 你还有食谱 |
| [12:03] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [12:04] | It kinda happened by accident. | 它像个意外 |
| [12:05] | I was making once-dipped opped it. | 我第一次做单层面包的时候 |
| [12:07] | but i drop it | 但我没成功 |
| [12:08] | A lot of great discoveries are accidents | 很多的发明都是意外 |
| [12:10] | like Thomas Edison and the telephone. | 像托马斯·爱迪生发明了电话 |
| [12:11] | That wasn’t Thomas… | 那不是托马斯 |
| [12:15] | So you like to cook? | 这么说你喜欢烹饪? |
| [12:18] | Yeah, I love it. | 是的 我喜欢 |
| [12:19] | ‘Cause, you know, I love to eat | 因为 你知道 我喜欢吃 |
| [12:20] | and I lo. | 我喜欢让我的嘴巴充满惊喜 |
| [12:21] | Well, you know, dear, | 你知道吗 亲爱的 |
| [12:24] | what you are talking about is becoming a chef, | 你在说的是成为一个厨师 |
| [12:28] | and there are schools for that, | 有那样的学校 |
| [12:30] | and-and the potential to make a terrific living. | 可以给予你充满潜力的奇妙生活 |
| [12:32] | Do I get to wear one of those poofy hats? | 我需要带那种厨师帽吗 |
| [12:35] | If you want to. | 如果你愿意的话 |
| [12:36] | Cool. Then I guess I’ll be a chef. | 太棒了 我想我将成为一个厨师 |
| [12:39] | My grandson the chef. | 我的孙子是厨师 |
| [12:41] | I can live with that. | 我会慢慢习惯的 |
| [12:44] | You know what I could drive if I was a chef? | 你知道如果我是个厨师的话我可以开什么车吗 |
| [12:46] | The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. | 奥斯卡美食专车 |
| [13:05] | I got a kayak. | 我买了一个皮划艇 |
| [13:07] | I see. | 我看到了 |
| [13:10] | Guess what I’m gonna do? | 猜猜我要去做什么 |
| [13:12] | Go kayaking? | 去划船 |
| [13:14] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [13:15] | I have decided that life is too short. | 我觉得生命太短暂了 |
| [13:17] | So you’re going out in the Pacific Ocean in a plastic boat. | 所以你打算划着一个塑料船去太平洋 |
| [13:20] | Good thinking. | 真是个好主意 |
| [13:22] | No, I was at work today | 不 我今天在工作的时候 |
| [13:24] | and it suddenly became clear to me that… | 突然明白 |
| [13:27] | Sorry about that. | 抱歉 |
| [13:30] | It became clear to me | 我明白了 |
| [13:31] | that I don’t like what I’m doing. | 我不喜欢我现在做的 |
| [13:32] | And nong care of Jake, | 妈妈会照顾杰克 |
| [13:34] | I can spend my time doing the things that give me joy. | 我可以花时间做能给我带来乐趣的事情 |
| [13:36] | So you’re gonna masturbate in a kayak? | 所以你打算去皮划艇里打飞机? |
| [13:39] | No, but that’s the point. | 不 不过你说到点子上了 |
| [13:42] | You’ll have to elaborate. | 那你得精心计划一下 |
| [13:46] | I could if I wanted to. | 如果我想的话会的 |
| [13:53] | Yeah, who could’ve seen that coming? | 恩 真是没想到啊 |
| [13:58] | Look, I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [14:05] | Here you go. | 来了 |
| [14:06] | Grilled cheese with gouda, Swiss and monster. | 荷兰干烤奶酪 瑞士人和怪兽 |
| [14:09] | You mean meunster. | 你是说门斯特干酪(与怪兽音似) |
| [14:11] | No, that’s an old TV show. | 不 那是个老的电视节目 |
| [14:13] | And they’re called that ’cause they’re monsters. | 它们这样叫是因为他们是怪兽 |
| [14:14] | This is a cheese. | 而这是个奶酪 |
| [14:16] | Anyway, the sandwich also has heirloom tomatoes | 这个三明治是酸面吐司 |
| [14:19] | and smoked applewood bacon on sourdough toast. | 中间夹上西红柿和熏肉 |
| [14:21] | Where did you learn this? | 你这手是哪儿学的 |
| [14:23] | Food Channel and FoodChannel.com. | 美食频道和美食频道网站 |
| [14:25] | Food Channel on Demand, Food Channel magazine. | 美食点播频道 美食频道杂志 |
| [14:28] | And the school lunch lady. | 还有就是学校食堂阿姨 |
| [14:31] | Oh, and save room for homemade potato chips. | 对了 别吃太饱 还有我做的薯片呢 |
| [14:33] | You’re making potato chips? | 你亲手做的薯片 |
| [14:36] | Oh, yeah, it’s easy. | 对 其实不算什么 |
| [14:37] | You slice the potatoes real thin, | 先把土豆削成薄片 |
| [14:38] | rub the sides with lemon and garlic, | 用柠檬和大蒜调好 |
| [14:40] | fry ’em up in a hot iron skillet | 然后在铁锅里一炸 |
| [14:41] | and then salt to taste. | 吃时撒些盐 |
| [14:43] | I can’t get over this. | 这真出乎我想象 |
| [14:45] | Bon appetite. | 吃好喝好啊 |
| [14:47] | Teet. | 应该念 teet |
| [14:48] | No, that’s a cow’s boob. | 什么呀 那是奶牛的奶头 |
| [14:53] | Oh, my goodness. | 我的老天啊 |
| [14:55] | This is delicious. | 这个太好吃了 |
| [14:57] | Don’t eat more than three or you won’t poop for a week. | 如果吃3个以上 保证你一星期拉不出屎 |
| [15:02] | Trust me. | 我有亲身体验 |
| [15:04] | Well, at least | 不管怎么说 |
| [15:07] | we have finally found a career path for you. | 你的前途总算是明朗了 |
| [15:09] | Cool. I’ll go get the chips and then we’ll talk about cars. | 好的 我去拿薯片然后我们就可以谈谈车了 |
| [15:14] | You know what? | 其实我想 |
| [15:15] | Let’s settle this car thing first. | 还是先谈谈车吧 |
| [15:24] | Oh, God, it was incredible. | 哇塞 感觉真是太爽了 |
| [15:27] | The-the wind, the sky, | 那海风 那蓝天 |
| [15:29] | the surf. | 那海浪 |
| [15:31] | I feel like I’m reborn. | 好像我获得了重生 |
| [15:37] | You were out there for 15 minutes. | 你可才去了15分钟而已 |
| [15:39] | Yeah, well, my arms got tired. | 可我胳膊已经累得抬不起来了 |
| [15:44] | so you did decide to go with the kayanking. | 原来你还是去“拔艇”去了 |
| [15:46] | What? | 说什么 |
| [15:48] | Masturyaking? | 边划边自己爽吧 |
| [15:50] | You’re terrible. | 你想歪了 |
| [15:52] | But, anyway, no one could see me. | 但是没人能看到我去爽了 |
| [15:59] | So now what? | 那现在你准备干啥 |
| [16:00] | Now? | 现在吗 |
| [16:01] | Now I just live. | 现在我就体验生活 |
| [16:02] | I enjoy. | 享受生活 |
| [16:04] | All right. | 不错嘛 |
| [16:06] | This rat has quit the race. | 这只小老鼠已经退出比赛了 |
| [16:08] | Good for you. | 那很好 |
| [16:09] | This hamster is off the treadmill. | 这只小仓鼠已经停下不再跑了 |
| [16:11] | Glad to hear it. | 听起来蛮好嘛 |
| [16:13] | This squirrel is satisfied with the nuts he has. | 这只小松鼠已经满足现有的坚果了 |
| [16:17] | No comment. | 恕不置评 |
| [16:25] | I’m not gonna make it, Charlie. | 查理 我活不下去了 |
| [16:28] | Didn’t think you would. | 不出我所料 |
| [16:29] | No goals, no challenges, | 没有目标 没有挑战 |
| [16:32] | no, no gutrenching fear driving me forward. | 没有了惊心动魄的恐惧使我前进 |
| [16:35] | I mean, how can you stand it? | 那你是怎么过下去的 |
| [16:37] | Me? | 问我吗 |
| [16:39] | Well, I have kind of an existential philosophy | 我有一套自己的生存哲学 |
| [16:42] | that shapes my outlook. | 来雕画我的未来 |
| [16:44] | It involves a willingness | 这是一种随波逐流 无欲无求 |
| [16:46] | to let life carry me along in its wake | 的犬儒主义思想 |
| [16:48] | as I contemplate its infinite mystery. | 而我会去幻想生命里的无穷奥秘 |
| [16:52] | Plus I drink and take a lot of naps. | 再有我没事时会喝喝小酒睡睡小觉 |
| [16:55] | Yeah, well, I need something meaningful to strive for. | 那是你 我需要些有意义的目标去努力 |
| [17:00] | Sorry, I don’t follow. | 抱歉 听不懂你说什么 |
| [17:03] | I need a carrot in front of me and a stick behind me. | 我是需要威逼利诱的那种人 |
| [17:06] | Without that, I… I have no reason to live. | 没有奖罚 我 我就失去了活着的理由 |
| [17:11] | That’s it! | 原来如此 |
| [17:13] | What’s it? | 什么就如此了 |
| [17:14] | “No reason to live.” | 失去了活着的理由 |
| [17:17] | That’s Mom’s angle. | 那才是老妈阴谋 |
| [17:19] | This never had anything to do with Jake. | 这根本就没杰克什么事 |
| [17:21] | She’s trying to kill you. | 老妈是在谋你的命 |
| [17:25] | Oh, come on. | 别胡扯了 |
| [17:26] | Think about it. | 好好想想吧 |
| [17:28] | She takes the financial pressure off your shoulders, | 她很清楚排除了你的经济压力 |
| [17:31] | knowing you can’t live without it. | 你就没有活下去的理由了 |
| [17:33] | Oh, she’s good. | 老妈这招太高了 |
| [17:35] | Why would Mom want to kill me? | 但老妈为啥会想要杀我 |
| [17:37] | I don’t know. | 我怎么知道 |
| [17:39] | Why do I want to kill you? | 那我为啥想杀了你 |
| [17:40] | Why does your ex-wife want to kill you? | 你前妻为啥也想杀了你 |
| [17:42] | You just bring that out in people. | 你这个人就是会让他人想杀了你 |
| [17:45] | You’re being ridiculous. | 你真是可笑 |
| [17:47] | Okay, okay, let’s look at the alternate explanation. | 那好 那我们来看看另外个解释 |
| [17:50] | For the first time in her life, | 这是她平生第一次 |
| [17:52] | our mother is being totay selfless | 老妈如此的无私 |
| [17:54] | and thinking about someone else’s well-being. | 而且如此为他人的幸福所着想 |
| [17:58] | Dear God, my own mother is trying to kill me. | 老天爷啊 我亲生母亲想要我的命啊 |
| [18:01] | Well, I’m glad we got that settled. | 这块心头之石终于落地了 |
| [18:03] | It was really bugging me. | 这事扰得我可是心烦如麻 |
| [18:13] | Terrific sandwich. | 这三明治真不赖 |
| [18:15] | Yeah. | 是不错 |
| [18:17] | I think you’ll find | 我认为着的火 |
| [18:19] | the fire gave everything a nice smoky flavor. | 给它增加了很不错的烧烤味道 |
| [18:22] | Just out of curiosity, | 随便问一下 |
| [18:24] | what does a used fire truck go for? | 一辆二手消防车大概多少钱 |
| [18:31] | Hey, Alan, I got an idea | 艾伦 我刚想到一主意 |
| [18:33] | that might cheer you up. | 肯定能让你心情大爽 |
| [18:34] | I’m listening. | 洗耳恭听 |
| [18:36] | You need a carrot and a stick to make your life meaningful? | 你觉得奖罚并存才让你生活有意义 |
| [18:39] | How about this? | 听听我这个 |
| [18:40] | Every month I let you give me a small amount of money | 以后每个月我允许你交给我一点钱 |
| [18:43] | in exchange for the pleasure of living in my house. | 来换取你在我家的幸福生活 |
| [18:48] | We’ll call it… rent. | 我们就称之为 房租吧 |
| [18:52] | Wow, it’s been a long time since I paid rent. | 的确我已经N长时间没交过房租了 |
| [18:55] | Five years, two months, 11 days. | 至今5年零2个月零11天 |
| [18:58] | Interesting. | 有点意思 |
| [18:59] | It would certainly give me a reason to go back to work. | 我至少要为此回去上班 |
| [19:02] | Right. That’s the carrot. | 没错 那就是你的奖赏 |
| [19:05] | And if you fall behind, I get to hit you with a stick. | 如果你房租付晚了 我就会找根棍儿收拾你 |
| [19:08] | Very funny. | 玩笑很冷啊 |
| [19:10] | No, I’m serious. | 不不 我可没开玩笑 |
| [19:11] | That’s my carrot. | 那是给我的奖赏 |
| [19:12] | ok how much did you have in mind? | 算你狠 开个价吧 |
| [19:15] | Well, I’ve given it some thought…and… | 在我考虑再三后 |
| [19:23] | I think you’ll find this to be a fair number. | 我觉得这个数还算合理 |
| [19:27] | Oh, well, uh, | 哇塞 这 这也 |
| [19:31] | at least if I’m paying rent | 那么说如果我交房租了 |
| [19:32] | I’ll get a say in what goes on around here. | 家里的大事小情我就有发言权 |
| [19:34] | No, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不不不 |
| [19:36] | No. | 想得美 |
| [19:40] | If you want a say, | 如果你想要有发言权 |
| [19:42] | this is the number. | 要付这个数 |
| [19:47] | I don’t need a say. | 那我还是不需要发言权了 |
| [19:50] | Good. | 好极了 |
| [19:51] | So, every month on the first. | 那么每个月1号交钱 |
| [19:54] | Deal. | 一言为定 |
| [19:57] | All right, all right, I feel good about this, | 还可以 很好 我觉得这样很不错 |
| [19:59] | pitching in, pulling my own weight. | 分担一点责任 尽我一份力 |
| [20:01] | It’s long overdue. | 其实我早该如此 |
| [20:03] | Five years, two months, 11 days. | 5年零2个月零11天前就该了 |
| [20:05] | Right. | 当然 |
| [20:07] | Uh, of, uh, course since the month has already started, | 不过 当然了 这个月1号已经过了 |
| [20:09] | we’ll, we’ll start next month. | 那我们就从下个月开始吧 |
| [20:10] | Fine. | 没问题 |
| [20:12] | Uh, although, uh, with the holidays coming, | 但是眼下马上就要过节了 |
| [20:14] | maybe it’d be better to start fresh with the new year, | 我想还是从新年开始算起比较好 |
| [20:16] | you know? 1/1. | 1月1日开始 |
| [20:17] | Sure, whatever. Okay. | 行 按你意思办 |
| [20:19] | Unless the economy’s still in the tank. | 除非经济仍然处于低谷 |
| [20:22] | Always a possibility. | 是不能排除这个可能 |
| [20:24] | In which case, you know, | 要是那样的话 |
| [20:25] | we’ll, uh, we’ll probably want to revisit the number. | 我们有可能要重新谈房租价钱 |
| [20:27] | Probably. | 很有可能 |
| [20:30] | I mean, the market is-is pretty volatile right now. | 我是说现在是房租市场的冬天 量价起伏很大 |
| [20:33] | I mean, I think some belt-tightening | 所以我认为现在 |
| [20:36] | is in order for everybody, you know, | 无论房东们还是房客们 |
| [20:37] | landlords and-and tenants alike. | 都是要勒紧裤腰带过日子 |
| [20:39] | Ow! | 哎呀 |