| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Ask your doctor is right for you | 请遵照医嘱服用 |
| [00:03] | So, do either of you gs urinate with abnormal frequency? | 你们两个谁排尿频率不正常 |
| [00:10] | – No. – No. | -我挺好 -我也是 |
| [00:13] | I mean, you gotta define abnormal. | 你要定义下不正常 |
| [00:17] | And keep in mind the body | 而且你要知道的是 |
| [00:18] | Doesn’t process alcohol efficiently. | 人体无法有效的代谢酒精 |
| [00:21] | Which is why your uncle charlie | 这也是你的查理伯伯 |
| [00:22] | Is a perpetual urine machine. | 是个排尿机器的原因 |
| [00:25] | Also keep in mind that your father | 你还要知道的一点就是 |
| [00:26] | Has the bladder control | 你老爸排尿不畅 |
| [00:28] | Of a frightened nine-year-old girl. | 主要是受到过一个九岁女生的恐吓 |
| [00:32] | Which is why he needs to wear | 所以他必须要穿 |
| [00:33] | Two pairs of undies and a panty lir. | 两套女士内衣和内裤 |
| [00:36] | Only on long drives. | 只有在坐长途车的时候这样 |
| [00:39] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
| [00:40] | How many times a night doou get up to pee? | 那你一个晚上起夜几次 |
| [00:41] | Just once. | 就一次 |
| [00:42] | I can hear your toilet flush, alan. | 艾伦 我可以听见你冲马桶 |
| [00:44] | Okay, four times. | 那好吧 是四次 |
| [00:46] | But at least i get out of bed to pee. | 那好歹我是起床去尿的 |
| [00:48] | Hey, hey. | 嗨 |
| [00:49] | That was an isolatedncident. | 那可是绝对的意外 |
| [00:51] | I was dreaming my shoes were on fire | 我梦见我的鞋着火了 |
| [00:54] | Does that answer your question, buddy? | 你得到答案了吗 |
| [00:56] | Yeah. | 恩呢 |
| [00:57] | And remind me to never ask another one. | 下次提醒我别再向你们问任何问题 |
| [01:01] | – Charlie? – yeah? | -查理 -咋啦 |
| [01:03] | Why aren’t you ready? | 你怎么还没准备 |
| [01:05] | Ready for…? | 准备虾米? |
| [01:06] | You’ve got to be kidding me. | 你是拿我开涮呢吧 |
| [01:08] | I’ve told you at least three times | 我已经说了不止三次了 |
| [01:10] | We’re having dinner with my girlfriend gail tonight. | 我们今晚和我的闺蜜吃饭 |
| [01:12] | Excuse me, gotta pee. | 对不起 去尿尿 |
| [01:15] | I swear to god, you never listen | 你就从来没听过我说话 |
| [01:16] | When i’m talking to you. | 我和你说话的时候 |
| [01:17] | It’s like you just tune me out | 感觉你无视了我的声音 |
| [01:18] | You look like you’re paying attention, | 看起来你是仔细在听 |
| [01:20] | But your mind is a million miles away. | 可是你的脑子早就不知道跑哪里去了 |
| [01:22] | Do i need to pee? | 我要不要去尿 |
| [01:25] | Nah. | 才不用呢 |
| [01:26] | I mean, i could. | 我可以去下 |
| [01:28] | Might be traffic. | 也许会堵车捏 |
| [01:29] | Probably should pee. | 也许真的要尿 |
| [01:30] | Yeah, better pee. | 没错 最好去尿 |
| [01:31] | Now we’re going be late, and i’m going | 现在我们要迟到加丢人了 |
| [01:33] | To be embarrassed all because u don’t listen. | 就因为你无视我 |
| [01:35] | Boy, she’s got great boobies. | 感谢老天 我老婆胸真美 |
| [02:08] | So, charlie, i’ve heard so many nice things about you | 查理 我听了很多你的好话呢 |
| [02:10] | Really? from who? | 真的 谁和你说的 |
| [02:14] | Hello. | 傻了你 |
| [02:17] | Oh, right. | 哦 对哦 |
| [02:18] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [02:19] | I guess i only hear the complains | 主要我听到的都是抱怨 |
| [02:23] | You don’t hear anything. | 你啥话都没听 |
| [02:25] | That’s not true. | 才不是的 |
| [02:26] | You’re right. it’s not. | 是啊 |
| [02:27] | He hears what he wants to hear. | 他只听想听的 |
| [02:30] | So i’m right. | 我说的嘛 |
| [02:33] | – Well, you stil make a great couple. – thank you. | -你们是完美的一对 -谢谢 |
| [02:36] | And i’m really looking forward to your wedding. | 真的好期待参加你们的婚礼 |
| [02:39] | I’m sure it’s going to be beautiful. | 我敢肯定婚礼一定美伦美奂 |
| [02:43] | What’d i do? | 我说错啥了吗 |
| [02:45] | Nothing. i told you she’s going thugh a bad breakup. | 不是啦 告诉过你她刚刚经历惨烈的分手 |
| [02:48] | When did you tell me that? | 你啥时候说的 |
| [02:50] | In the car, on the way here. | 在来的时候 在车上说的 |
| [02:51] | God. | 天啊 |
| [02:54] | It’s going to be okay. | 一切都会好的 |
| [02:56] | I know. it’s just hard. | 我知道 只是心里真的好难过 |
| [02:59] | I thought i knew him. | 我以为我理解他 |
| [03:00] | I thought we were going to be together forever, | 我以为我们会走到最后 |
| [03:02] | Like you and charlie. | 就像你和查理一样 |
| [03:03] | Hard to believe somebody got tired of doing her. | 真难以置信有人厌倦这小妞 |
| [03:09] | Ooh, french fries looksgood. | 法式薯条看起来真不赖 |
| [03:12] | Why did i order the baked potato? | 我咋点了烤土豆呢 |
| [03:15] | – Isn’t that right charlie? – absolutely. | -查理你说是不是 -绝对的 |
| [03:19] | Now, is this the one who’s the old college roomte? | 这小妞是她的大学室友吗 |
| [03:22] | I should really listen more. | 我真该多听她说的话 |
| [03:24] | I mean, i knew he was insensitive… | 我知道他这个人不敏感 |
| [03:26] | Boy, i bet, if they were roommates, | 我敢打赌 如果他们是室友 |
| [03:28] | They did some experimenting. | 她们肯定亲热过 |
| [03:31] | Why is it that girls can experiment wh other girls | 为啥女生可以和别的女生亲热 |
| [03:34] | And not be gay, but if a guy | 但是又不是真的拉拉 |
| [03:36] | So as muchisses another guy– woop, bad memory. | 换成男人就… 哇 别去回忆 |
| [03:38] | Drink… drink, drink, drink. | 喝 赶紧喝酒 |
| [03:41] | So you’re just all alone in that big apartment? | 那你就一个人守着那个大房子 |
| [03:44] | He even took the dog. | 他连狗都牵走了 |
| [03:46] | Bastard. | 王八蛋 |
| [03:47] | What? it’s my first drink. | 咋啦 我才喝第一杯 |
| [03:49] | Not u. | 不是你 |
| [03:50] | Brian took rufus. | 布莱恩把鲁弗斯都带走了 |
| [03:51] | Oh. | 这样 |
| [03:52] | Who’s rufus? | 谁是鲁弗斯 |
| [03:55] | For that matter, who’s brian? | 谁是布莱恩 |
| [03:57] | Life of brian– that was pretty nny. | 《布莱恩的一生》（喜剧）那个片子好好笑 |
| [04:00] | Brian’s song, not so much. | 布莱恩的歌就不咋地了 |
| [04:03] | James caan was great in it, though. | 詹姆斯卡安（教父中与马龙合作）真是出色 |
| [04:07] | The godfather, rollerball… | 《教父》啊 《极速风暴》啊 |
| [04:09] | Yeah, i can so see these two kissing in aorm room. | 真想看看她们两个在宿舍亲热的样子 |
| [04:14] | That’s really sweet, but i couldn’t impose. | 那真的太好了 只是我不想让你们为难 |
| [04:17] | – We insist. Right, charlie? – absolutely. | -我们坚持的 对不查理 -绝对的 |
| [04:20] | There. | 好了 |
| [04:21] | You’ll come stay with us for a few days and heal. | 你过来和我们住一起 缓解一下 |
| [04:23] | I don’t know what to say. | 我真不知道该说什么 |
| [04:24] | Say yes. | 你就说好的 |
| [04:25] | Um… yes. | 好的 |
| [04:27] | Good. | 好 |
| [04:29] | After dinner we can go back to her apartment | 吃完饭去她家 |
| [04:30] | So she can pack a bag. absolutely. | -好让她收拾行李 -绝对的 |
| [04:32] | You’ll love charlie’s place. | 你会喜欢上查理家的 |
| [04:34] | It’s right on the sand. | 就在沙滩上 |
| [04:35] | Very quiet, restful. | 很安静舒适 |
| [04:37] | Dear penthouse forum… | 亲爱的《阁楼》杂志 |
| [04:41] | I always thought your letters were made up, | 我一直以为你们的读者来信都是瞎编的 |
| [04:43] | Untill my fiancee’s college roommate Came to stay with us for a few days. | 直到我未婚妻的大学室友来我家住几天 |
| [04:47] | Right, charlie? Absolutely. | -对吧 查理 -绝对 |
| [04:54] | Hey, alan? | 嗨 艾伦 |
| [04:59] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [05:02] | Beight there. | 马上来 |
| [05:06] | What’s up? | 怎么啦 |
| [05:12] | What were you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [05:14] | Um, shaving. | 刮胡子 |
| [05:17] | At night? | 晚上刮? |
| [05:17] | Well, not souch shaving as… trimming. | 其实更准确地说是…修整一下 |
| [05:22] | So, uh, how was dinner? | 晚餐吃得怎么样 |
| [05:25] | Forget dinner. | 先别提什么晚餐 |
| [05:27] | Please tell me you weren’t using my razor. | 拜托你告诉我不是在用我的刮胡刀 |
| [05:29] | Mine doesn’t have the floating heads. | 我的没有浮动刀头 |
| [05:32] | I don’t believe you. | 我不敢相信 |
| [05:34] | I put at thing on my face. | 我还要用来刮脸呢 |
| [05:36] | I was going to clean it bere i gave it back. | 我打算洗洗再还你 |
| [05:38] | I-i don’t want it back! | 我不用你还了 |
| [05:41] | Really? | 真的 |
| [05:42] | Yeah. yeah, it’s yours. | 对 对 归你了 |
| [05:43] | Merry christma | 圣诞快乐 |
| [05:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [05:46] | But this is just a stking stuffer, right? | 但这只是圣诞小礼物 对吧 |
| [05:48] | You ganna give me a real present too. | 你还会送我一份正式的礼物 |
| [05:50] | A real present? | 一份正式的礼物? |
| [05:52] | Well, you obviously didn put much thought into this one. | 是啊 你显然没准备送这一份 |
| [05:57] | Good night, alan. | 晚安 艾伦 |
| [05:58] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [06:03] | Oh, i almost forgot. | 哦 我差点忘了 |
| [06:04] | Pack up your stuff and get out. | 收拾下你的东西然后出去 |
| [06:07] | Okay, okay, the razor can be my christmas present. | 行行 那剃刀就当是我的圣诞礼物了 |
| [06:10] | No, no, no, elsea’s girlfriend | 不 不 不 切尔西的好姐妹 |
| [06:11] | is staying here | 来这住几天 |
| [06:13] | So you’re going to sleep on the couch. | 所以你要去睡沙发 |
| [06:14] | Why don’t you put her in jake’s room | 你为什么不让她去睡杰克的房间 |
| [06:16] | And have jake sleep on the couch? | 让杰克睡沙发? |
| [06:17] | Fair question. why don’t you trim | 问得好 你为什么不用餐刀 |
| [06:18] | Your ball hair with a steak knife? | 去刮你的阴毛? |
| [06:27] | I feel bad kicking your brother out of his room. | 让你弟弟睡客厅我很过意不去 |
| [06:29] | Well, that’s only because you dot know him. | 那是因为你不认识他 |
| [06:33] | here we go | 来了 |
| [06:34] | A little chamomile tea, help you sleep. | 喝点菊花茶 有助睡眠 |
| [06:37] | Chelsea, i can’t thank you enough. | 切尔西 真是感激不尽 |
| [06:40] | Don’t be silly. | 别傻了 |
| [06:41] | I know what it feels like to have my heart broken. | 我能体会你心碎的感觉 |
| [06:43] | Me, to | 我也是 |
| [06:46] | You know, theoretically. | 我是说 理论上 |
| [06:49] | Well, i’m grateful to you both. | 我很感谢你们 |
| [06:51] | And we’re grateful to you. | 我们也很感谢你 |
| [06:54] | You know, theoretically. | 我是说 理论上 |
| [06:58] | Anyway, tomorrow, you can sleep in, | 总之 明天你可以睡懒觉 |
| [07:00] | Take a nice, long walk on the beach… | 去沙滩好好散个步 |
| [07:02] | I’ve been a really good boyfriend tonight. | 今晚我当了回好好先生 |
| [07:04] | Chelsea should do something nice for me. | 切尔西应该奖励一下我 |
| [07:08] | Like make out with gail. | 比方说去跟盖尔亲热 |
| [07:12] | Okay, i put fresh sheets on the bed. | 好了 我换了新床单 |
| [07:15] | Alan this is my friend gail | 艾伦 这是我的朋友盖尔 |
| [07:16] | Gail, this is alan. | 盖尔 这是艾伦 |
| [07:17] | I’m so sorry to put you out like this, | 我很抱歉要让你睡客厅 |
| [07:19] | But your brother said… | 但你哥哥说 |
| [07:21] | Gorp. Fnark schmegle. | 乖乖隆地咚 |
| [07:26] | Oh, god, i’vbeen waiting for you all my life. | 哦 天哪 我这辈子要找的就是你 |
| [07:30] | Marry me. have my children. | 嫁给我 给我生孩子 |
| [07:34] | …is really very generous of you. | 你真的很有风度 |
| [07:36] | Gorp. | 乖乖 |
| [07:37] | Fnark. | 隆地 |
| [07:39] | Schmegle. | 咚 |
| [07:41] | Come on, i’ll show you the room. | 来吧 带你看看房间 |
| [08:12] | Chelsea? | 切尔西 |
| [08:26] | Chelsea? | 切尔西 |
| [08:44] | Chels, you in there? | 切尔西 你在里面? |
| [08:46] | It’s okay, charlie. | 没事 查理 |
| [08:47] | Come on in. | 进来吧 |
| [08:56] | Everything all right? | 没什么事吧 |
| [08:57] | She’s pretty upset. | 她很伤心 |
| [08:58] | I’m sorry i’m such a basket case. | 不好意思我真没用 |
| [09:02] | Oh, please. | 拜托 |
| [09:03] | We’re here for you, baby. | 宝贝 我们都在你身边 |
| [09:06] | Right, charlie? | 对吧 查理 |
| [09:07] | Absolutely. | 绝对的 |
| [09:12] | I guess i’ll… leave you two alone. | 我想 我不打扰你们了 |
| [09:15] | You don’t have to go. | 你不必走 |
| [09:20] | I don’t? | 是吗 |
| [09:23] | Not unless you want to. | 除非你想走 |
| [09:26] | Gorp. | 乖乖 |
| [09:27] | Fnark. schmegle. | 隆地咚 |
| [09:30] | Come on, charlie. | 来吧 查理 |
| [09:31] | We all know what you really want to do. | 我们都知道你到底想干嘛 |
| [09:33] | We do? | 你们都知道? |
| [09:35] | We do. | 我们都知道 |
| [09:39] | Come here. join us. | 来这里 跟我们一起 |
| [09:45] | Uh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:55] | So… what now? | 那么 现在要怎样 |
| [09:59] | Do i really need to tell you? | 我真的要说出来吗 |
| [10:01] | We’d probably be better off if you did. | 那样可能对大家都好点 |
| [10:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:08] | I want y to make gail happy. | 我想你让盖尔快乐 |
| [10:15] | And you’re on board? | 你也没意见? |
| [10:16] | It was my idea. | 这就是我的主意 |
| [10:19] | Don’t worry– she and i have done this before. | 不用担心 我们不是第一次的了 |
| [10:21] | In college | 读大学的时候 |
| [10:23] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [10:29] | Okay, let’s turn that frown upside down. | 好吧 让我们搞个天翻地覆 |
| [10:35] | That’s a good boy. | 那才是好孩子 |
| [10:38] | – Hey, Chels? – Yeah, babe? | -嘿 切尔西 -在 宝贝 |
| [10:41] | This is a dream, right? | 我是在做梦 对吗 |
| [10:43] | Of course it’s a dream. | 当然是在做梦 |
| [10:44] | You think I’m really gonna let you sleep with my best friend? | 你以为我真会让你和我最好的朋友睡吗 |
| [10:48] | Well, in that case, hang on. Cause I’m gonna do some real freaky stuff. | 那样的话就等等吧 因为我要好好地做点坏事 |
| [11:12] | Excuse me. | 打扰了 |
| [11:14] | I brought you some fresh towels, Gail. | 我给你拿了些干净的毛巾 盖尔 |
| [11:16] | Oh, aren’t you sweet. | 你真可爱 |
| [11:18] | Sure, sweet. | 当然 可爱 |
| [11:20] | Go smell his room. | 去他房间闻闻就知道了 |
| [11:24] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [11:26] | Good, you’re up. | 真好 你起床了 |
| [11:27] | I made you some toast. | 我给你做了点吐司面包 |
| [11:29] | Here’s your orange juice. | 这是你的橙汁 |
| [11:30] | Oh, thank you, honey. | 谢谢 亲爱的 |
| [11:31] | I’ll see you later. | 再见 |
| [11:32] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you’re leaving? | 等等 你要出门吗 |
| [11:35] | I told you I have to go in to work today. | 我和你说过今天要去上班啊 |
| [11:36] | But what about Gail? | 那盖尔怎么办 |
| [11:39] | She can take care of herself. | 她能照顾好自己的 |
| [11:40] | I think she’s already made a new friend. | 我想她已经交到一个新朋友了 |
| [11:42] | Yeah, I saw. | 是 我看到了 |
| [11:44] | You don’t think he’s got a shot, do you? | 你不会认为他有机会吧 |
| [11:46] | Charlie, you’re horrible. | 查理 你太坏了 |
| [11:48] | I was joking. | 我只是开玩笑 |
| [11:49] | So how long are you going to be gone? | 那你要去多久 |
| [11:51] | I’ll be home for dinner… I thought maybe | 我会回来吃晚饭的 我想也许 |
| [11:52] | I’d pick up some chinese food, | 我会带回来点中国菜 |
| [11:53] | – And we could stay in and… – Is she nuts? | -我们可以在家… -她疯了吗 |
| [11:55] | I can’t be trusted alone with that chick. | 我和那个妞单独呆在一起是不会老实的 |
| [11:58] | Wait, maybe this is a test. | 等等 也许这是个测试 |
| [12:01] | A trap. | 一个陷阱 |
| [12:02] | The two of them are in cahoots | 她们俩串通起来 |
| [12:03] | To find out if I’ll make a move. | 看看我是否会老实 |
| [12:05] | Cahoots, that’s a funny word. | 串通 这个词真有趣 |
| [12:08] | Sounds like an owl sneezing. | 听上去像猫头鹰打喷嚏 |
| [12:11] | Ca-ca-ca-cahoots! | 串通 |
| [12:14] | So, I’ll call you later. | 我待会打给你 |
| [12:15] | Absolutely. | 绝对 |
| [12:18] | Morning, Alan. | 早 艾伦 |
| [12:20] | Oh, uh, morning. | 早 |
| [12:22] | Thank you again for letting Gail have your room. | 再次感谢你把房间让给盖尔 |
| [12:23] | Oh, don’t be silly. Happy to do it. | 说什么傻话呢 我很乐意的 |
| [12:25] | Uh, mi casa, her casa. | 我家就是她家 |
| [12:27] | It’s actually his casa, | 其实是他家 |
| [12:28] | But the dehumidifier and the night-light belong to me. | 但除湿器和夜明灯是我的 |
| [12:32] | Still very nice of you. | 还是要感谢你 |
| [12:33] | See ya later. | 再见 |
| [12:36] | What would you guys going on today, | 你今天要去干啥呢 |
| [12:38] | you know, play a little tennis in 1958? | 去1958年打网球吗 |
| [12:42] | This old thing? | 你是说这怀旧风格? |
| [12:43] | This is just my knock-around clothes. | 这是我平时的便服啦 |
| [12:45] | So, what’s the story on Gail? | 盖尔出了什么事呢 |
| [12:47] | Bad breakup? | 分手吗 |
| [12:49] | Something like that. | 差不多那样 |
| [12:50] | So, she’s on the rebound. | 她正处于恢复期吧 |
| [12:51] | Where you going with this, Alan? | 艾伦 你想怎么样 |
| [12:52] | Oh, nowhere, I’m just curious about her. | 不怎么样 只是对她好奇 |
| [12:54] | And, you know, when we met last night, | 昨晚我们见面的时候 |
| [12:56] | I-I sensed a little spark between us. | 我觉得我们之间激起了一点小火花 |
| [12:58] | If there was a spark, | 如果有火花的话 |
| [13:00] | It’s only ’cause she was warming up her taser. | 那也只是因为她正给她的泰瑟枪预热 |
| [13:03] | Ha-ha, very funny. | 哈哈 真有意思 |
| [13:05] | Alan, trust me, the only way you’re gonna | 艾伦 相信我 你能和 |
| [13:07] | Hook up with someone like Gail is in your dreams. | 盖尔这种女人上床的唯一方式是在梦里 |
| [13:09] | Alread did. | 已经梦到过了 |
| [13:11] | Really? Was Chelsea there? | 真的吗 切尔西在那里吗 |
| [13:13] | No! Good lord! How creepy would that be? | 没有 天啊 那样就太奇怪了 |
| [13:18] | Well, regardless, forget about Gail. | 不管怎样 别打盖尔的主意了 |
| [13:20] | Potato head out there has a better shot than you do. | 那边的土豆脑袋都比你有机会 |
| [13:24] | You know, I’ve got a nephew about your age. | 知道吗 我有个和你差不多年纪的侄儿 |
| [13:25] | You should meet him. He plays guitar, too. | 你应该见见他 他也弹吉他 |
| [13:27] | Maybe you guys could jam sometime. | 也许你们以后可以合奏 |
| [13:28] | Oh… boobies. | 哇 波涛胸涌 |
| [13:35] | Hey, for your information, | 告诉你吧 |
| [13:37] | There is a very good chance that a woman like that | 很有可能那样的女人 |
| [13:38] | Is tired of rich, handsome, successful guys | 已经厌倦了有钱有车有房 |
| [13:40] | Who have their own homes recently built cars. | 帅气的成功男人 |
| [13:43] | You really believe that? | 你真信吗 |
| [13:45] | I have to. | 我不得不信 |
| [13:47] | Woof! | 哇塞 |
| [13:48] | Who’s that? | 那是谁 |
| [13:50] | Chelsea’s friend. | 切尔西的朋友 |
| [13:52] | She’s going through a bad breakup | 她刚刚经历了分手 |
| [13:53] | So she’s going to stay here for a few days… | 所以她会在这里住几天 |
| [13:54] | Hmph! Too bad I prefer the fellas. | 哎 可惜我更喜欢男银 |
| [13:59] | Then again, I can always draw a moustache on her. | 不过 我可以在她脸上画胡须 |
| [14:17] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [14:19] | Jake? | 杰克 |
| [14:21] | Berta? | 波塔 |
| [14:26] | Oh, boy. | 天啊 |
| [14:28] | Although, maybe this is another dream. | 也许这是另一个梦呢 |
| [14:40] | Gail, you okay? | 盖尔 你还好吗 |
| [14:41] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [14:42] | Good. Good. | 好 好 |
| [14:44] | I’m going to run some errands. | 我要出去一小会 |
| [14:46] | Can I get you anything while I’m out? | 你要我帮你带点东西吗 |
| [14:48] | A reason to live. | 一个活下去的理由 |
| [14:53] | Alrighty. | 好吧 |
| [15:01] | Come on in. | 我进来了 |
| [15:06] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [15:07] | I just got some bad news. | 我刚收到些坏消息 |
| [15:09] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [15:11] | My boyfriend.. | 我前男友 |
| [15:12] | Rufus? | 鲁弗斯 |
| [15:14] | That’s my dog. | 那是我的狗狗 |
| [15:16] | Oh, yeah. | 哦 这样啊 |
| [15:17] | He’s okay, right? | 他还好吗 |
| [15:19] | He’s fine. | 他很好 |
| [15:20] | I just found out Brian is already seeing someone else. | 我刚知道布莱恩已经和其他女人约会了 |
| [15:23] | No. | 不会吧 |
| [15:25] | I mean, we just broke up | 我们才刚刚分手 |
| [15:26] | And he’s already sleeping with another woman? | 他就已经和别人上床了 |
| [15:29] | The pig! | 真混蛋 |
| [15:31] | I thought we had something. | 我原以为我们还有可能 |
| [15:34] | He always said I was his soul mate | 他一直把我称为他的知己爱人 |
| [15:36] | And that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me… | 他还想和我共度余生 |
| [15:39] | This can’t be a dream. | 这不可能是个梦 |
| [15:41] | She’s still got her clothes on. | 她还穿着衣服呢 |
| [15:43] | And she’s talking. | 而且还滔滔不绝 |
| [15:46] | Why can’t I find a nice guy like you? | 我为什么不能找到像你这样的好男人 |
| [15:49] | Absolutely. | 绝对 |
| [15:51] | Maybe Chelse would let me borrow you. | 也许切尔西肯把你借给我用用 |
| [15:59] | Excuse me, gotta pee. | 抱歉 得去嘘嘘了 |
| [16:04] | Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. | 噢 糟糕 糟糕 糟糕 糟糕 糟糕 糟糕 糟糕 |
| [16:06] | -Here you go. – Thanks. | -给 -多谢 |
| [16:11] | I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. | 我不知道我还能撑多久 |
| [16:13] | I hear you. | 我听到了 |
| [16:15] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:16] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [16:19] | I gotta get Gail out of here | 我得在做出某些抱憾终生的事之前 |
| [16:21] | Before I do something I’m going to regret. | 让盖尔搬出去 |
| [16:23] | You know, after I thoroughly enjoy it. | 我是说 在我彻底爽够之后 |
| [16:26] | Just tell her to leave. | 让她走就是了 |
| [16:28] | I can’t do that. | 我不能这么做 |
| [16:29] | She’s Chelsea’s best friend. | 她是切尔西的闺蜜 |
| [16:31] | They were college roommates. | 她们是大学室友 |
| [16:32] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [16:35] | You think they experimented? | 你觉得她们亲热过没? |
| [16:37] | Oh, yeah. | 肯定 |
| [16:45] | I gotta figure out a way to get Gail to leave on her own. | 我得想个让她自己离开的方法 |
| [16:48] | You got the perfect tool for the job. | 你有个很完美的工具可以做这事 |
| [16:50] | What are you talking about? | 你在说啥呢 |
| [16:52] | The one tool that’s guaranteed | 那个工具可以保证 |
| [16:53] | To drive any woman out of your house. | 让所有的女人远离的你房子 |
| [16:55] | Hello. | 两位好 |
| [17:00] | Oh, look, it’s an Allen wrench. | 看 是艾伦牌扳手 |
| [17:06] | What was that about? | 这是啥意思 |
| [17:08] | Nothing. Nothing. | 没啥意思 |
| [17:09] | I was just telling Berta that maybe I was wrong | 我只是在跟波塔说也许我错了 |
| [17:11] | About you not having a shot with Gail. | 不让你追盖尔那事 |
| [17:13] | Why? Did she say sothing? | 为啥 她有说过什么么 |
| [17:14] | Did she ask about me? | 她有说到我么 |
| [17:16] | How would you feel about a double wedding? | 你觉得双重婚礼怎样 |
| [17:17] | I mean, as long as you’re paying for one. | 我是说 只要你为我付钱 |
| [17:19] | Slow down, slow down. | 慢点来 |
| [17:21] | Nobody said anything. | 没人说过任何事 |
| [17:23] | I just realized I might’ve been jealous | 我只是意识到我可能有点嫉妒了 |
| [17:26] | Cause she’s so beautiful and if I can’t have her, | 她美若天仙而我却不能得到 |
| [17:28] | I didn’t want you to have her either. | 而且还不让你得到她 |
| [17:29] | Yeah, was thinking it might be that. | 想想确实是这回事 |
| [17:33] | Anyway, it’s not fair for me | 总之 我没站在 |
| [17:35] | To stand in the way of your happiness. | 为你的幸福考虑的立场上是不对的 |
| [17:37] | Really? | 真的么 |
| [17:38] | I always thought that was one of your favorite things. | 我还以为这是你最爱做的事呢 |
| [17:40] | Do you want to pick nits | 你想成为个废渣 |
| [17:41] | Or do you want to go talk to a beauty who’s extremely vulnerable | 还是想上一个受巨大伤害的美女 |
| [17:44] | And may very well be looking for revenge sex? | 说不定还能得到嘿咻的机会 |
| [17:46] | I don’t want revenge sex, | 我不想要一次嘿咻 |
| [17:47] | I want a loving relationship that has depth and meaning | 我想要一段有深度有意义的关系 |
| [17:50] | And that will withstand the test of time. | 并且能够经受住时间的考验 |
| [17:52] | Oh, that’s good. | 不错 |
| [17:53] | I’d lead with that. | 我会帮你登头条的 |
| [17:55] | Oh, yeah, go get her. | 是的 上吧 |
| [17:58] | All right. | 好的 |
| [18:00] | All right. Wish me luck. | 我去了 祝我好运 |
| [18:01] | You don’t need luck. | 你不需要好运 |
| [18:02] | You’ve got the exact skills needed to get this job done. | 你正好具有做成此事的技能 |
| [18:05] | Thanks, Charlie. | 多谢 查理 |
| [18:06] | You’re a good brother. | 你真是个好哥哥 |
| [18:07] | If he actually gets laid, I’m going to hang myself. | 如果他真的得逞了 我就该去上吊了 |
| [18:14] | Come in. | 请进 |
| [18:17] | Hey, there | 你好 |
| [18:18] | Hi, Alan. | 你好 艾伦 |
| [18:19] | You, uh, up for a little company? | 要人陪陪么 |
| [18:22] | I guess. | 可以啊 |
| [18:25] | You know, it does get this easier. | 这样确实会好受点 |
| [18:28] | The wound does heal. | 伤口会愈合 |
| [18:30] | I know. Thank you. | 我知道 谢谢你 |
| [18:32] | I mean, it may not feel like it now, | 也许现在感受不到 |
| [18:34] | But before too long, you’ll forget all about that fella | 但用不了多久 你就会忘记那个伤害你的家伙 |
| [18:37] | Who hurt you, because another fella will be in your heart. | 因为会有另外个人进入你的心中 |
| [18:40] | A fella who’ll never hurt you. | 一个永远不会伤害你的人 |
| [18:45] | Who’ll never leave your side. | 一个永远不会将你丢下 |
| [18:48] | A fella who wants nothing more than to love you… | 一个除了爱你不会奢求更多的人… |
| [18:52] | Oh, dear god, no. | 天啊 不 |
| [18:57] | Thanks for your hospitably, Charlie, | 查理 多谢你的款待 |
| [18:59] | But I should get back home. | 但我得回家了 |
| [19:00] | – Anytime. – So where’d we leave it? | -随时恭候 -我们就这样了么 |
| [19:02] | Uh, I’ll call you, you’ll call me? | 我打给你还是你打给我 |
| [19:03] | I’ll call you. | 我打给你吧 |
| [19:08] | So… | 那么… |
| [19:10] | How’d it go? | 进展如何 |
| [19:13] | You heard her. | 你听到她说的了 |
| [19:14] | She’s gonna call me. | 她会打给我 |
| [19:22] | Shame on you, Alan Harper. | 真为你感到可耻 艾伦·哈勃 |
| [19:24] | You knew very well that Gail’s | 你明知道盖尔经历着 |
| [19:25] | going through a difficult time. | 一段痛苦的时期 |
| [19:27] | So what do you do? | 你做了什么呢 |
| [19:28] | You tried to take advantage, | 你趁人之危 |
| [19:29] | To-to exploit her vulnerability… | 还想占她便宜… |
| [19:31] | What is it about an angry woman that I find so hot? | 我怎么会总觉得泼妇很性感呢 |
| [19:36] | Even when that fact cashier at the supermarket | 就算是超市的收款员 |
| [19:37] | Was yelling at me, I got a little engorged. | 对我大吼 我也会有点兴奋 |
| [19:42] | Boy, if I could just find somebody like Chelsea. | 如果我能找到像切尔西这样的女人 |
| [19:45] | I mean, look at her go. | 看看她的腔调 |
| [19:48] | She’s a real fireball. | 她真是火辣得不行啊 |
| [19:51] | Speaking of fireballs, | 说到火辣 |
| [19:53] | Next time I manscape I should probably skip the aftershave. | 下次我刮毛之前应该别用刮胡水 |