| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | Wow. That was great. | 天啊 真TNND的爽 |
| [00:14] | Good, I’m glad. | 那我也很开心 |
| [00:17] | Wait, wait, wait. You’re glad? | 等会 你只是很开心而已 |
| [00:19] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [00:21] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [00:24] | There was no “gaa.” | 你没说我的天啊 |
| [00:26] | “Gaa”? | 什么我的天啊 |
| [00:27] | When the sex is working for you, | 你到了高潮就说我的天啊 |
| [00:29] | you try to say “God,” but it comes out “gaa.” | 不过因为太兴奋一般会说偶的天内 |
| [00:33] | And this time, there was no “gaa.” | 可是这次你啥都没说 |
| [00:35] | Charlie… | 查理 |
| [00:37] | No “gaa,” no good. | 你不喊天你就没到 |
| [00:41] | And I’ll tell you another thing. | 而且再补充一点 |
| [00:42] | You usually grab my ass like you’re holding | 你一般都紧紧抓住我的屁屁 |
| [00:44] | a tree trunk in a hurricane. | 就像卡特里娜飓风来的时候抓住一棵树 |
| [00:47] | Just now, it was more like youe are palming | 可是刚才你就像在超市 |
| [00:49] | a couple of cantaloupes at the supermark. | 用手拍着两个哈密瓜 |
| [00:51] | Fireworks n’t have to go off every time | 我也不用每次都到高潮的 |
| [00:53] | for me to enjoy it. | 我觉得很享受就可以嘛 |
| [00:55] | Oh, please, fireworks is the whole plan of the exerise. | 拜托 我可是没高潮没乐趣好不好 |
| [00:59] | Otherwise, all you’ve got is | 否则我们刚才那样 |
| [01:00] | two naked people humping on a StairMaster. | 根本就是两个人裸体做有氧运动 |
| [01:03] | Sometimes it’s nice just being close. | 有时候快到了就很好了 |
| [01:06] | Nice being close. | 快到了就好了 |
| [01:08] | Great. | 拉倒吧 |
| [01:10] | Now I know what it’s like to be my brother. | 现在我理解艾伦的感受了 |
| [01:12] | Would you stop it? | 求你了别纠结了 |
| [01:14] | No, this is the beginning of the end. | 这简直就是前兆 |
| [01:17] | First our sex life goes to hell, | 先是我们性生活不和谐 |
| [01:19] | then we start eating dinner at 4:30, | 接下来我们就会在4.30开始吃晚饭 |
| [01:21] | watching reruns of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, | 然后一起重温《女医生》(1993年的美国肥皂剧) |
| [01:25] | and at 9:00 we shake hands, pee and go to sleep. | 然后晚上9点我们握下手 尿完尿就上床睡觉 |
| [01:28] | Then around midnight I get up to pee again. | 到了半夜 我再起夜尿上一次 |
| [01:31] | Quit making such a big deal out of it. | 不要大惊小怪没事找事嘛 |
| [01:33] | Just because every once in a while | 有时候就是会这样的 |
| [01:35] | I don’t have an orgasm… | 我没到高潮 |
| [01:36] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! | 你给我等会 |
| [01:38] | This has happened before? | 你以前也有没到的时候 |
| [01:40] | Just a few times. | 有几次吧 |
| [01:41] | Why didn’t I know? Were you faking it? | 为啥我不知情 你装出来的? |
| [01:44] | Does it matter? | 你很介意吗 |
| [01:45] | You’re damn right, it matters. | 你这不是废话吗 |
| [01:46] | Why’d you stop? Don’t you love me anymore? | 为啥你现在不装了 你不爱我了 |
| [01:48] | Of course I love you. | 我当然爱你啊 |
| [01:50] | If you really loved me, you’d keep faking it. | 如果你真爱我 就该一直装下去 |
| [01:52] | Fine, from now on I’ll fake it. | 好吧 我以后都会装的 |
| [01:55] | Too late. Now I’m on to you. | 晚了 我已经识破了 |
| [02:00] | Honey, there’s nothing to get so upset about. | 亲爱的 你根本没必要郁闷啊 |
| [02:02] | I’ve just been working really hard, under a lot of stress. | 我最近工作很忙 压力也大 |
| [02:05] | Then on top of that, I’m trying to plan our wedding | 而且 我还要筹备我们的婚礼 |
| [02:08] | and dealing with my parents, your mother. | 同时受我爸我妈还有你妈的折磨 |
| [02:11] | But trust me, as far as I’m concerned, | 但是等我处理好这些 |
| [02:13] | you’re still the sexiest man on Earth | 你还是这个世界上最性感的男人 |
| [02:15] | and I’m the luckiest woman who ever lived. | 我就是世界上最幸运的那个女人 |
| [02:22] | Lucky, lucky, lucky. | 幸运啊 |
| [02:57] | I thought you were taking | 我以为你带女朋友 |
| [02:58] | your girlfriend out for dinner. | 出去吃晚饭了 |
| [02:59] | I am. But if I eat first, | 但是我要先吃一顿 |
| [03:00] | I won’t pig out in the restaurant and make her sick. | 那样在餐厅我就不会太饕餮让她恶心了 |
| [03:02] | Good idea. That way you’ll have | 好主意 那你整个晚上 |
| [03:04] | the whole rest of the night to make her sick. | 都有充裕的时间恶心她了 |
| [03:07] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [03:10] | Plus I won’t snap at her if she reaches for one of my fries. | 而且我也不会为了薯条冲她嚷嚷 |
| [03:14] | All right, Chelsea’ll be home in a few minutes. | 各位 切尔西马上就回 |
| [03:17] | How are we doing? | 准备的如何了 |
| [03:18] | The wine’s decanting, pasta’s on the stove, | 酒已经开瓶 通心粉在炉子里 |
| [03:20] | salad’s in the fridge, Marvin Gaye’s on the CD player. | 沙拉在冰箱里 马文盖伊的CD已经就位 |
| [03:23] | Gay. | 真娘啊 |
| [03:28] | And what about this? | 这玩意怎么打理 |
| [03:29] | Where’s this gonna be tonight? | 今天晚上这玩意去哪 |
| [03:32] | It has a date. | 这玩意佳人有约了 |
| [03:34] | Oh, eating first. | 不错啊知道先吃饱 |
| [03:36] | I taught you well. | 我这招你已经会了 |
| [03:38] | Thank you. | 谢谢教导 |
| [03:39] | Clean underwear? | 内裤是干净的吗 |
| [03:41] | Cleanish. | 还算是吧 |
| [03:44] | Not good enough. | 不够好 |
| [03:46] | With underwear, there’s no gray area. | 内裤这件事 可没什么灰色地带 |
| [03:47] | Don’t worry, it’s not gray. | 别担心 不是灰色的 |
| [03:51] | Anything but white is unacceptable. | 除了白色以外都不行 |
| [03:53] | In that case, I’d better change. | 那我最好还是换一条 |
| [03:58] | And take off the bib! | 顺便把围嘴摘了 |
| [04:01] | If he can score just once before I die, | 他在我死之前能得逞一次 |
| [04:04] | my life will have been worthwhile. | 那我也算没白活 |
| [04:06] | Well, then you might want to start eating healthier. | 那你从现在就要少油少盐 |
| [04:10] | What’s the big occasion tonight? | 今晚有什么大计划吗 |
| [04:12] | There’s no big occasion. | 不是什么大计划 |
| [04:14] | Just trying to keep the fire going with Chelsea. | 只是想让切尔西火花四溅 |
| [04:16] | You know what’s good for that? | 你知道什么最有用吗 |
| [04:18] | Doing it in public. | 在公共场合搞 |
| [04:20] | Really? | 真的 |
| [04:22] | Yeah, there’s nothing like the thrill | 当你知道随时会被人撞见 |
| [04:24] | of thinking you might get caught. | 你就异常的容易兴奋 |
| [04:26] | I gotta tell ya, | 我告诉你吧 |
| [04:27] | you almost walked in on me a couple of times. | 好几次你差点撞上我 |
| [04:31] | You’re kidding. | 真的假的 |
| [04:33] | Just a heads-up, the next time you see | 就是提个醒 |
| [04:35] | the Sparkletts’ truck parked outside, avoid the garage. | 下次看见送水工卡车停在外面 请止步于车库外 |
| [04:42] | From now on, I’m gonna avoid water. | 从现在起 我是不打算再喝水了 |
| [04:52] | Good news, Alan, you’re going to the movies tonight. | 好消息艾伦 你今晚要去看电影了 |
| [04:58] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [05:15] | What are you doing? | 你干啥呢 |
| [05:16] | Nothing. | 啥都没干 |
| [05:17] | What is that? | 手里是什么 |
| [05:20] | That’s, uh, that’s hairspray. | 只是发胶而已 |
| [05:21] | Really? Hairspray. Let me see it. | 发胶 我不信 给我看看 |
| [05:23] | No. Leave me alone. | 不要 你别管我 |
| [05:26] | What’s the big deal? | 有什么大不了 |
| [05:27] | It’s not a big deal. Just go away. | 没什么大不了 出去就是了 |
| [05:30] | All right, but I need you out of the house tonight | 好吧 但我要你晚上出去 |
| [05:32] | so I can be alone with Chelsea. | 让我和切尔西可以独处 |
| [05:34] | Don’t worry, I have a date. | 不用担心 我有约会 |
| [05:35] | Another Internet hook up? | 又是婚介网站? |
| [05:37] | SuaveSingles.com. | 单身贵族.com |
| [05:39] | First month’s free. | 首月免费试用 |
| [05:41] | That must be how they keep out the riffraff. | 那肯定是他们在筛选用户 |
| [05:44] | Have fun. | 玩得开心 |
| [05:45] | Thank you, I will. | 谢谢 我会的 |
| [05:48] | Hey! Hey! | 嗨 嗨 |
| [05:50] | “Captain Terry’s Spray-On Hair. | 特瑞船长的发油 |
| [05:54] | Guaranteed to cover bald spots.” | 保证秃顶变浓密 |
| [05:57] | It’s not really a bald spot. | 我不是真的秃顶 |
| [05:59] | I’m just getting a little thin on top. | 就是上面头发有点稀疏 |
| [06:00] | So you’re painting your head? | 所以你涂黑头顶? |
| [06:03] | It’s not paint. | 不是涂 |
| [06:05] | It’s a specially formulated hairlike substance | 是一种特殊配方的假发 |
| [06:06] | designed for the active man on the go. | 为男士出门前使用而设计的 |
| [06:09] | Oh, you poor, gullible bastard. | 可怜虫 这么好糊弄 |
| [06:14] | It gives me confidence. | 这给了我信心 |
| [06:15] | Okay, fine. | 好 行 |
| [06:17] | But what happens to your confidence | 但不知道在约会时 |
| [06:19] | when your date runs her fingers through your… | 当她摸过你…特殊配方的假发后 |
| [06:21] | specially formulated hairlike substance? | 你的信心会怎么样？ |
| [06:24] | It’s “guaranteed not to smear, drip or ignite | 这是保证在通常情况下 |
| [06:28] | under normal circumstances.” | 不会液化 脱落和燃烧 |
| [06:31] | So you’re gonna spend the rest of your life spray-painting | 那你打算下半辈子都把头 |
| [06:34] | your head like it’s a freeway underpass? | 喷得像高速公路隧道一样黑? |
| [06:36] | This is just a stopgap till the pills kick in. | 这个只要撑到药物产生疗效就行 |
| [06:38] | What’s this, like Propecia? | 这是什么 霸王护发素? |
| [06:41] | Better, stronger. | 更好用 更强大 |
| [06:42] | It’s from Eastern Europe where they don’t have | 这来自东欧 那里完全无视 |
| [06:44] | to worry about all those pesky FDA regulations. | 烦人的美国食品及药物管理局条例 |
| [06:46] | There’s a monkey on the label. | 这个商标上有只猴子 |
| [06:49] | It is not a monkey, it’s the inventor. | 那不是猴子 是发明者 |
| [06:54] | How long have you been taking these? | 你用了多久了 |
| [06:57] | A couple of weeks. | 几个星期 |
| [06:58] | It has to build up in your system, | 这要在体内慢慢发生作用 |
| [07:00] | and then stand back and grab a comb. | 然后就是乌黑浓密了 |
| [07:01] | Okay, well, far be it for me to judge someone | 好吧 我绝不会责问别人 |
| [07:04] | for taking questionable pharmaceuticals, | 使用有问题的药品 |
| [07:06] | but be careful with this stuff. | 但这玩意还是小心点 |
| [07:09] | Charlie, do you really think I’m so vain | 查理 你真的认为我那么虚荣 |
| [07:11] | that I would jeopardize my health | 为了长点头发而去 |
| [07:12] | just to grow a little hair? | 危害自己的健康 |
| [07:13] | Do I have to remind you | 是不是还要我提醒 |
| [07:15] | about the Japanese penis enlargement system you bought? | 你曾经买过日本的阴茎增大系列产品? |
| [07:18] | That is not what caused the rupture. | 我那里不是因为这才裂的 |
| [07:27] | I’m sorry, but this is a monkey. | 不好意思 但这就是只猴子 |
| [07:37] | So did you make your way around the mountain? | 那你顺利登顶了吗 |
| [07:41] | Excuse me? | 什么 |
| [07:43] | You know, were you driving six white horses? | 我是说 你骑着六匹白马? |
| [07:47] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [07:49] | * She’ll be driving six white horses when she… * | *她会骑着六匹白马当她…(come)* |
| [07:54] | Are you asking me if I had an orgasm, Charlie? | 你在问我是否到高潮 是吗 |
| [07:57] | Yeah, but I’m trying to be cute about it. | 是的 但我想问得风趣点 |
| [07:59] | No, I did not. | 不 我没有 |
| [08:01] | But it doesn’t matter. | 不过没关系 |
| [08:03] | It was wonderful. | 还是很不错 |
| [08:04] | Were you at least close? | 你至少有接近高潮吧 |
| [08:05] | Yes, I was close. | 是的 快到了 |
| [08:07] | Well, that’s a start. | 嗯 那是个起点 |
| [08:08] | Now, when you were close, what was I doing? | 话说 你接近高潮的时候我在干嘛? |
| [08:10] | You were downstairs getting a beer. | 你下楼去拿啤酒了 |
| [08:16] | I’m kidding. | 开玩笑的 |
| [08:17] | Can we please just drop it? | 我们能不能不说了 |
| [08:19] | Excuse me for trying to bring you back to “gaa.” | 请原谅我尝试带你到顶峰 |
| [08:22] | Sex is not just about orgasms. | 性又不只是高潮 |
| [08:25] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [08:26] | Then how are we supposed to know when we’re done? | 那我们刚才做的都是为啥 |
| [08:29] | Don’t pout. | 别噘嘴 |
| [08:30] | I’m not pouting. | 我没有噘嘴 |
| [08:32] | Yes, you are. Your bottom lip is sticking out. | 你就是有 你的下唇突出来了 |
| [08:34] | It’s swollen. | 是肿了 |
| [08:36] | You could’ve stopped at any time. | 你可以随时停止 |
| [08:40] | No, no, I am not a quitter. | 不 我不是轻言放弃的人 |
| [08:43] | Sweetheart, do you know what the best part of tonight was? | 甜心 你知道今晚最好的部分是什么吗 |
| [08:45] | For you or me? | 对你还是我 |
| [08:47] | ‘Cause I think mine was pretty obvious. | 因为就我的好处是显而易见的 |
| [08:50] | It was that you cared enough | 是你对我的足够重视 |
| [08:51] | to plan this amazing evening for me. | 去为我筹划美妙的傍晚 |
| [08:54] | The beautiful dinner, wine on the deck, | 精彩的晚餐 桌上的美酒 |
| [08:56] | the two of us talking, just being together. | 我们就这样对坐而谈 |
| [08:59] | It’s nights like these that make me realize how lucky I am | 这样的夜晚让我明白我是多么幸运 |
| [09:03] | to have found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. | 找到我想跟他共度余生的男人 |
| [09:09] | Lucky, lucky, lucky. | 幸运 幸运 幸运 |
| [09:24] | Alan, I don’t know how to tell you this, | 艾伦 我不知道怎么跟你说 |
| [09:27] | but your bangs are dripping down your face. | 但你的刘海都流你一脸了 |
| [09:30] | A little lesson for you, Charlie. | 给你上一课 查理 |
| [09:32] | There are two things you never want to buy on the cheap: | 有两样东西你不能买便宜货 |
| [09:35] | canned hair and condoms. | 罐装假发和安全套 |
| [09:38] | I’m assuming it never got to condoms? | 我猜不是安全套惹的祸 |
| [09:40] | No, it did not. | 对 不是的 |
| [09:42] | Once my hair started dripping on her chicken marsala, | 当我的头发开始滴到她的鸡肉马沙拉的时候 |
| [09:44] | the evening was pretty well shot. | 整个晚上就被毁了 |
| [09:48] | I probably should’ve sprung for Captain Terry’s Hair Sealer. | 我大概应该摇一摇假发罐子 |
| [09:52] | Well, maybe you’ll have better luck with the monkey pills. | 或者那些猴子药物会好些 |
| [09:55] | Oh, thanks for reminding me. | 谢谢你的提醒 |
| [09:57] | If the date was so bad, why are you home so late? | 你的约会搞砸了还这么晚回来? |
| [10:00] | I’ve been at the emergency room having my eyes flushed. | 我在急诊室洗眼睛 |
| [10:04] | Apparently, my hair contains small particles of fiberglass. | 很显然 我的头发含有玻璃纤维微粒 |
| [10:13] | What the hell’s he doing? | 他到底在干嘛 |
| [10:15] | Trying to sneak in two hours after curfew. | 他是想在宵禁过了两小时之后溜回来 |
| [10:18] | Aren’t you gonna punish him? | 你打算惩罚他吗 |
| [10:19] | Maybe tomorrow. | 明天吧 |
| [10:21] | It’s hard to assume any kind of moral authority | 难以想象满脸流着 |
| [10:23] | with Captain Terry’s specially formulated hair | 特瑞船长特制假发的我 |
| [10:25] | all over my face. | 能有什么道德说服力 |
| [10:27] | True. You do kinda look like a hot fudge sundae. | 没错 你有点像杯热巧克力圣代 |
| [10:43] | Didn’t see you there. | 还真没注意到你 |
| [10:45] | That’s the first time anyone ever said that to me. | 第一次听人这样对我说 |
| [10:50] | Taking a lunch break? | 午餐后休息呢 |
| [10:52] | Sure, let’s call it that. | 对 就叫这个吧 |
| [10:55] | Mind if I ask you a question? | 我能问你个问题吗 |
| [10:57] | It’s Liz Taylor’s White Diamonds. | 是利兹泰勒的白钻 |
| [11:00] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:01] | My fragrance. | 我的香水 |
| [11:02] | You can get it at Costco. | 好市多里有卖 |
| [11:04] | Nice. | 真好 |
| [11:06] | It’s a great stocking stuffer for Christmas. | 圣诞节拿来送礼不错 |
| [11:08] | I’ll remember. | 我会记着 |
| [11:09] | I’ll act surprised. | 我到时会装作很惊喜的 |
| [11:15] | Actually, I was gonna ask you about when you were married. | 我其实想问你结婚时的事 |
| [11:18] | Which time? | 哪次的 |
| [11:19] | What was the long one? | 长一点的那个 |
| [11:20] | Jerry. 14 years. | 杰瑞 14年 |
| [11:22] | God rest his soul. | 上帝保佑他安息 |
| [11:24] | – He’s dead? – He better be. | -他死了? -最好死了 |
| [11:28] | Okay, well, when Jerry walked among us, | 那杰瑞还在世的时候 |
| [11:31] | was there a time when he wasn’t, you know, | 有没有一段时间 |
| [11:34] | doing it for you? | 他没有满足你 |
| [11:35] | You mean even though he was doing it to me? | 你是说即使他在和我做爱? |
| [11:38] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [11:40] | Well, sure. But that’s natural. | 当然有 这很正常 |
| [11:42] | Passion always fades over time. | 时间会冲淡激情 |
| [11:44] | Before you know it, you find yourself daydreaming, | 还没来得及反应 你已经在做白日梦了 |
| [11:46] | barely noticing the naked guy with the bad mullet | 几乎不会注意留着地中海发型 |
| [11:49] | and the flip-flops doing his dirty business on top of you. | 穿人字拖的裸男在你身上干坏事 |
| [11:52] | Jerry? | 杰瑞? |
| [11:54] | God, no– I never let Jerry on top. | 当然不是 我从不让杰瑞在上面 |
| [11:59] | He was like a fur-covered water heater. | 他简直像个披了层皮的热水器 |
| [12:02] | So that’s it? | 就这样? |
| [12:03] | That’s all I have to look forward to? | 我能期望的就这些了? |
| [12:05] | A wife that has to go to a happy place | 每次和她做爱 |
| [12:08] | every time I have sex with her? | 都要去开心地方的老婆 |
| [12:09] | Is Chelsea complaining? | 切尔西跟你投诉了 |
| [12:11] | No. | 没 |
| [12:12] | Can you read her mind? | 你有读心术吗 |
| [12:13] | No. | 没 |
| [12:14] | Then don’t worry about it. | 那就不用担心 |
| [12:16] | How can I not worry? | 怎么可能不担心 |
| [12:18] | Orgasms is one of the few things | 高潮是这段感情中 |
| [12:20] | I bring to the table in this relationship. | 少数我拿手的东西之一啊 |
| [12:22] | Well, I can’t argue with you there. | 这我没法跟你争 |
| [12:26] | But maybe this is the perfect opportunity | 或许这是你做个好男友的 |
| [12:29] | for you to become a better boyfriend, | 绝佳机会 |
| [12:31] | a more compassionate, caring individual. | 更有同情心 关心人 |
| [12:35] | Or you could buy her one of them vibrating eggs. | 或者给她买个自慰跳蛋 |
| [12:40] | They’re awesome. | 效果很不错 |
| [12:41] | I heard. | 我听说的 |
| [12:46] | I got to go. | 我得走了 |
| [12:51] | Man, I hope I can hold on to this buzz | 老天 希望送水的家伙来之前 |
| [12:54] | until the Sparkletts’ guy gets here. | 我还能保持这么性奋 |
| [13:01] | Alan, you in here? | 艾伦 你在吗 |
| [13:03] | Bathroom. | 在浴室 |
| [13:04] | Getting ready for a date. | 准备去约会 |
| [13:05] | Another Suave Single? | 又是单身贵族的? |
| [13:07] | No, my free trial expired. | 不是 免费期过了 |
| [13:10] | Now I’m on J-Date. | 我现在去犹太式约会 |
| [13:14] | Alan, we’re not Jewish. | 艾伦 我们不是犹太人 |
| [13:16] | Who cares? You should see these girls– | 管他呢 你应该看看这些女的 |
| [13:18] | very hotsy-totsy. | 太火辣了 |
| [13:20] | And the best part is, till my hair pills kick in, | 最好的地方是 生发药起效前 |
| [13:23] | two birds with one stone. | 我能一石二鸟 |
| [13:28] | So, how can I help you? | 找我有什么事 |
| [13:29] | Well… believe it or not, | 信不信由你 |
| [13:31] | I wanted to ask your advice about women. | 我想问问女人方面的建议 |
| [13:33] | Me? I’m flattered. | 问我? 受宠若惊啊 |
| [13:35] | What do you want to know? | 你想问些啥 |
| [13:38] | Sit, boychick. | 坐 小盆友 |
| [13:43] | Okay, I’m having a little problem, | 我遇到点问题 |
| [13:45] | you know, satisfying Chelsea in the bedroom. | 在房事方面满足切尔西 |
| [13:50] | So I thought to myself, who knows more | 我想 有谁比我弟弟艾伦 |
| [13:53] | about not satisfying a woman than my brother Alan? | 更了解怎样才能不满足女人呢 |
| [13:57] | That’s a very unfair characterization… | 这种描述非常不公平 |
| [14:01] | but not entirely inaccurate. | 不过也并非全错 |
| [14:04] | Go on. | 继续说 |
| [14:06] | My question is… | 我的问题是 |
| [14:08] | how do you live with yourself? | 你怎么生活的 |
| [14:10] | How do you wake up in the morning | 早上醒来怎么不会 |
| [14:12] | and not drag a straight razor across your throat? | 拿把剃刀割喉自杀 |
| [14:15] | Well, that’s not an easy question to answer. | 这个问题可不容易回答 |
| [14:19] | Uh, first of all, I don’t own a straight razor. | 首先 我没有剃刀 |
| [14:23] | This is what happened with you and Judith, right? | 你和朱蒂丝就是这样 对吧 |
| [14:25] | Actually, Judith was always highly orgasmic. | 其实 朱蒂丝一直能到性高潮 |
| [14:28] | Really? | 真的? |
| [14:28] | Not with me, of course. | 当然不是和我 |
| [14:31] | But as long as I didn’t let the battery drawer get empty, | 只要我不让放电池的抽屉空着 |
| [14:33] | she was one happy shiksa. | 她就个开心的异教女 |
| [14:35] | So, how did you deal with that? | 那你怎么面对这个 |
| [14:37] | Didn’t it make you feel like less of a man? | 你不觉得自己不够男人吗 |
| [14:40] | Okay, I understand. | 我明白了 |
| [14:42] | Your problem is, your male ego | 你的问题是 |
| [14:44] | is tied to your partner’s sexual pleasure. | 你的男性自尊取决于伴侣的性快感 |
| [14:46] | Your self-esteem is almost entirely based | 你的自尊心几乎完全基于 |
| [14:48] | on whether or not she achieves some level | 她是否能达到生理满足的 |
| [14:51] | – of physical satisfaction. – Uh-huh. | -某个水平 -没错 |
| [14:53] | You got to get past that. | 你必须忘掉这个 |
| [14:56] | What, you’re saying I shouldn’t care? | 你是说我不该在意? |
| [14:58] | Charlie… our people have spent thousands of years | 查理 先人背负了几千年 |
| [15:03] | carrying the burden of guilt. | 罪责的负担 |
| [15:06] | I say enough! | 我觉得已经够了 |
| [15:08] | It’s time to break the shackles. | 是时候挣脱这个枷锁 |
| [15:10] | Okay, okay, first of all, I’m pretty sure | 首先 我很确定先人是指 |
| [15:13] | that our people are Scotch-Irish. | 有苏格兰与爱尔兰血统的人 |
| [15:15] | Perhaps. But the Talmud teaches us | 可能吧 塔木德(犹太法典)教导我们 |
| [15:18] | that the true worth of a man is in his good works | 男人的真正价值在于他的善举 |
| [15:21] | and devotion to God. | 及忠于上帝 |
| [15:22] | – The Talmud? Yeah, – I Googled it. | -塔木德? -谷歌搜的 |
| [15:24] | Figured I might need a little Jewish dinner chat. | 晚餐时可能会聊到犹太话题 |
| [15:27] | Lucky I did some research– | 还好我搜了 |
| [15:29] | I was planning on taking this girl to Red Lobster. | 我本打算带她去红色龙虾餐馆来着 |
| [15:32] | Meshuggah,right? | 我疯了是吧 |
| [15:35] | Oh! Uh, I got to go. | 到点了 我得走了 |
| [15:37] | Oh, uh, listen, Jake’s grounded for coming in late last night, | 昨晚杰克因为晚归被禁足了 |
| [15:40] | so be a mensch and keep an eye on the little pisher, would you? | 好好的盯着这个小滑头 怎样 |
| [15:47] | Oy… | 哎哟 |
| [15:50] | Vay. | 咋办 |
| [15:58] | This is fun, huh? | 蛮有趣的吧 |
| [16:00] | I guess. | 大概吧 |
| [16:03] | Gin. | 赢了 |
| [16:04] | Damn. | 该死 |
| [16:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:07] | Let’s go again. | 重玩 |
| [16:09] | You do realize that at a certain point we’re going to have to go to bed. | 你知道咱俩迟早得到床上去吧 |
| [16:13] | I know. I know. It’s not like I’m avoiding it or anything. | 我知道 我又没在躲避啥 |
| [16:16] | Really? Because this is the first time | 真的吗 这是我所知道的头一遭 |
| [16:18] | since I’ve known you you’ve suggested we play a game | 你建议玩扑克牌 |
| [16:21] | that doesn’t involve money or nudity. | 却又不赌钱或脱衣服 |
| [16:23] | We could play for money if you want. | 如果你想的话我们可以赌钱啊 |
| [16:25] | What do you say, penny a point? | 怎样 赚点小钱嘛 |
| [16:27] | We’ll go to bed when someone’s up a hundred bucks. | 有人赚到了100美元就上床去 |
| [16:30] | Come on, are we gonna talk | 拜托 我们不是要去 |
| [16:32] | about the elephant in the room or not? | 房里讨论某些复杂事的么 |
| [16:34] | What’s there to talk about? | 这里谈不也成的么 |
| [16:36] | I can’t ring your bell anymore, | 反正我再也不能让你爽了 |
| [16:38] | so we’ll grow old, I’ll die, | 就让我们变老 待我死了 |
| [16:40] | and you’ll find happiness with a vibrating egg. | 你就可以用跳蛋来爽了 |
| [16:42] | Did you ever stop to consider that maybe this isn’t about you? | 你有没有想过这有可能不是因为你 |
| [16:47] | No, not really. | 没想过 |
| [16:49] | Well, it isn’t. | 不是你 |
| [16:51] | Then what’s it about? | 那是什么原因 |
| [16:53] | It’s personal. | 很私密的 |
| [16:55] | What’s more personal than bumping pee-pees? | 还有什么比骚动的鸡鸡更私密 |
| [17:01] | All right, fine. | 好吧 我说 |
| [17:07] | My ex-husband’s getting remarried. | 我的前夫要再婚了 |
| [17:10] | I’m sorry, are we still having the same conversation? | 抱歉 我们说的还是同一件事么 |
| [17:15] | I know it sounds stupid, but ever since I found out, | 我知道这很傻 但自从我知道这事后 |
| [17:18] | I somehow felt shut down. | 我就不知为何感到不行了 |
| [17:21] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [17:22] | I don’t know, I guess because | 不知道 我猜是因为 |
| [17:23] | he’s moving on with his life. | 他的生活又继续向前了 |
| [17:25] | Yeah, but you’re getting married, too. | 但你也快要结婚了啊 |
| [17:27] | Yeah, but I’m getting married because I’m over him. | 是的 但我要结婚是因为我忘记他了 |
| [17:29] | He’s getting married because he’s over me. | 他结婚也是因为已经忘记我了 |
| [17:32] | Wait a minute, wait a minute. | 等会儿 等会儿 |
| [17:33] | Are you still in love with him? | 你还爱着他 |
| [17:34] | Of course not, you idiot– I’m in love with you. | 当然不 你个傻冒 我爱的是你 |
| [17:36] | Well, good, good, because I’m sure feeling loved. | 不错 因为我确实有被爱的感觉 |
| [17:40] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:43] | Okay, let me just make sure I’m following this. | 让我确定下是不是这么回事 |
| [17:45] | Knowing that this guy is getting married | 知道这个家伙要结婚了 |
| [17:46] | has somehow gotten in the way of you having an orgasm. | 会阻挡你获得高潮 |
| [17:49] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [17:51] | I think so. | 我想是的 |
| [17:52] | Boy, women. | 天啊 女人啊 |
| [17:55] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 你这样说啥意思 |
| [17:56] | Well, nothing, nothing. | 没什么没什么 |
| [17:58] | It’s just I once had an orgasm with a lawn dart in my foot. | 有一次草地飞镖插到我的脚上都到高潮了 |
| [18:06] | Do you think I’m crazy? | 你觉得我疯了么 |
| [18:08] | No, no. No. | 当然不 |
| [18:09] | Having sex right over the hedge from where the kids | 在孩子们投草地飞镖的篱笆上 |
| [18:11] | were throwing the lawn darts– that was crazy. | 嘿咻那才是疯狂 |
| [18:15] | And believe it or not, I do understand. | 不管你信不信 我确实能理解 |
| [18:17] | – You do? – Well, sure. | -真的 -当然 |
| [18:19] | No one wants their former lovers to be happy. | 没人希望前任得到幸福 |
| [18:21] | – They don’t? – Well, hell, no. | -不吗 -当然不是 |
| [18:23] | Most of my former lovers want me dead. | 我的大部分前情人都希望我去死 |
| [18:27] | A couple have tried. | 有几个还试过 |
| [18:30] | In fact, now that I know you have a vengeful, petty side, | 我知道你现在有点复仇小气的心理作祟 |
| [18:34] | I love you even more. | 但我更爱你了 |
| [18:36] | Thanks… I guess. | 多谢…大概吧 |
| [18:39] | Don’t worry about the sex. | 别操心嘿咻啦 |
| [18:41] | It’ll work itself out, | 会自我解决的 |
| [18:43] | just like the lawn dart. | 就像草地飞镖一样 |
| [18:45] | I love you, Charlie. | 查理 我爱你 |
| [18:47] | Well, you should. | 应该的 |
| [18:48] | I’m being really sensitive and understanding and all that crap. | 我对这些乱七八糟的表现出非常理智和理解 |
| [18:51] | Now, how about another game? | 再来一局吧 |
| [18:54] | All right. | 好的 |
| [18:58] | I got to tell you. | 我跟你说 |
| [19:00] | I’m kind of relieved to find out I’m not the problem. | 发现不是我的问题让我蛮舒心的 |
| [19:02] | Neither of us is the problem. | 我们都没问题 |
| [19:04] | It’s just that I have feelings. | 我只是有这种感觉 |
| [19:06] | Okay, for me, that would be a problem. | 对我来说可是个问题 |
| [19:09] | You do realize that Jake just snuck out of the house. | 你知道杰克刚才溜出去了吧 |
| [19:12] | Well, he’s grounded. | 他被禁足了 |
| [19:13] | How else is he gonna leave? | 还有啥办法能让他走的 |
| [19:20] | Hey, how about the winner of the next hand gets | 这局输的人就让赢的人获得 |
| [19:25] | to be sexually satisfied without any guilt or reciprocity? | 没有罪恶感没有互惠的性满足 怎样 |
| [19:28] | You have a good hand, don’t you? | 你牌很好 对吧 |
| [19:30] | No, not at all. | 不 没的事 |
| [19:31] | All right, it’s a bet. | 好吧 赌一把 |
| [19:33] | Gin. | 赢了 |
| [19:38] | Gaa! | 好爽啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 |
| [19:47] | Okay, I got to ask. | 我得问一下 |
| [19:49] | Was that a real “gaa,” or a mercy “gaa”? | 是真爽还是假爽 |
| [19:53] | Oh, that was the real thing. | 这次是真的 |
| [19:55] | So, it was good? | 怎样 很棒吧 |
| [19:57] | Lawn dart good. | 像草地飞镖一样棒 |
| [20:01] | You know what I think? | 你知道我在想什么吗 |
| [20:03] | I think the fact that you shared your feelings with me, | 我觉得你和我分享你的感受 |
| [20:06] | and I really listened, made the sex more intimate | 我也听了 能让性生活更加私密 |
| [20:09] | and helped you overcome whatever was inhibiting you from… | 帮助你克服抑制你的…. |
| [20:17] | Well, that’s just rude. | 真没礼貌 |
| [20:26] | Morning. | 早 |
| [20:28] | Morning. | 早 |
| [20:30] | Hey, looks like your hair is really filling in back there. | 貌似你头发真的变黑了 |
| [20:32] | Yeah, I think the pills are starting to work. | 我想开始有药效了 |
| [20:40] | What? | 怎么了 |