| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | * Oh, the weather outside is frightful * | 窗外是寒风凛冽（虎胆龙威一的片尾曲） |
| [00:04] | * But the fire is so delightful * | 屋内暖意融融 |
| [00:07] | * And since we’ve no place to go * | 这天气我们让我们无处可去 |
| [00:10] | * Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. * | 那就叫这雪尽情的下吧 |
| [00:15] | Snow, sleet, rain, sun, | 甭管是啥天气 |
| [00:17] | you’ve still got no place to go. | 你反正是一无家可归的主 |
| [00:20] | Which is why I’m grateful | 所以斯克鲁奇先生（狄更斯小说《圣诞颂歌》主人公超吝啬） |
| [00:22] | for your generosity, Mr. Scrooge. | 我对你的慷慨心怀感激 |
| [00:27] | Speaking of generosity, | 既然说到慷慨 |
| [00:28] | check out what I got Chelsea. | 看看我给切尔西买了啥 |
| [00:30] | Diamond earrings. Nice. | 钻石耳环 真闪耀啊 |
| [00:32] | Yeah. She dropped a couple of hints | 她对想要的圣诞礼物 |
| [00:34] | about stuff she wanted. | 给我了N条暗示 |
| [00:35] | But I wasn’t really listening, so I got her these. | 可是我一贯是不听她说话的 所以就捡贵的买 |
| [00:38] | How romantic. Will she be joining us for dinner? | 真浪漫啊 她和我们一起吃晚饭吗 |
| [00:40] | I think so. | 应该是的 |
| [00:41] | She’s out doing some last minute shopping. | 她去掺和圣诞节的疯狂采购了 |
| [00:43] | Or something with work, again, I wasn’t really listening. | 或许是加班 反正我没听就是了 |
| [00:47] | Why did you mail me a letter? | 你怎么给我寄了封信 |
| [00:49] | Oh, I decided to send out a Harper Christmas Newsletter. | 我打算给亲戚朋友寄我们哈勃家的圣诞信 |
| [00:52] | You know, keep everybody updated on all things Harper. | 让大家都知道我们家一年来过的咋样 |
| [00:55] | You’re kidding. | 你逗我呢吧 |
| [00:56] | Don’t worry, governor, | 别担心主人（一副狄更斯的口音） |
| [00:58] | I didn’t mention your ongoing battle | 我没有提及你与朗姆酒那个魔鬼 |
| [01:00] | with the demon rum. | 持久而艰苦的斗争 |
| [01:08] | “As this wonderful year draws to an end, | 既然这美好的一年即将画上句号 |
| [01:11] | “I send this note to family and friend. | 我就用这封信向家人和朋友们问好 |
| [01:13] | “So thankful are we for blessings galore. | 哈勃家对所获得的赐福心怀感激 |
| [01:16] | “Like Charlie’s fiance– | 比如查理的未婚妻 |
| [01:18] | a lady, not a whore.” | 她绝对是个淑女 不是娼妓 |
| [01:21] | Keep reading. | 继续念 |
| [01:24] | “And young master Jake is growing like a weed. | 我们的小杰克正如草儿般茁壮成长于此 |
| [01:27] | He makes us all proud, not a waste of my seed.” | 他让所有人骄傲 正所谓虎父无犬子 |
| [01:31] | Keep going, keep going. | 继续啊 接着念 |
| [01:33] | “He tried his darnedest in every class. | 他对每堂课都反复努力再三 |
| [01:35] | And made tenth grade by the skin of his ass.” | 并打算把十年级的牢底坐穿 |
| [01:38] | And, see, I put in a little drawing | 你瞧我把他留级 |
| [01:40] | of an elf with his pants down. | 用了个手法描绘掩饰了 |
| [01:42] | What the hell’s the matter with you? | 我说你没事抽什么风啊 |
| [01:44] | You’re a grown man. | 你都是个土埋了半截的人了 |
| [01:45] | Oh, come on, people love this stuff. | 人人都喜欢看这种信的 |
| [01:46] | Read, read. | 读嘛 继续 |
| [01:49] | “And our sweet mother Evelyn had a small operation. | 我们亲爱的老妈艾芙林做了个小手术 |
| [01:52] | Her secret garden needed rejuvenation.” | 她的秘密花园需要青春常驻 |
| [01:55] | Secret garden? | 秘密花园? |
| [01:57] | Find a rhyme for vulva. | 我实在找不出和阴道押韵的词 |
| [02:00] | I dare you. | 有本事你找一个看看 |
| [02:04] | “And what about the author of this Christmas poem? | 那么这首圣诞诗的作者今年平安否? |
| [02:05] | “He’s healthy and happy in his beautiful home. | 他在他美丽的家中健康快乐无烦忧 |
| [02:08] | “And while some might argue that he’s just a leech, | 尽管有人说他只会白吃白占 |
| [02:11] | it bothers him not, he lives at the beach.” | 可他却无忧无虑 因为他住在海滩 |
| [02:15] | “Happy Holidays from the Happy Harpers.” | 来自快乐哈勃家的节日祝福 |
| [02:18] | What do you think? | 你感觉如何 |
| [02:20] | You’re sad, pathetic, lonely and blue. | 你就是一个可悲 可叹 可耻的可怜虫 |
| [02:23] | If I gave a rat’s ass, I’d worry about you. | 我要是有一点在乎你 我都将无地自容 |
| [02:38] | Expecting rough weather, Captain? | 船长 你在期盼严酷的天气吗 |
| [02:41] | What? | 啥 |
| [02:44] | What you looking at? | 你看什么呢 |
| [02:46] | Uh, nothing. | 没什么 |
| [02:47] | Really? | 真的 |
| [02:49] | So the beautiful girls playing volleyball | 那漂亮的小妞们打沙滩排球 |
| [02:50] | completely escaped your eye? | 难道都无法入你的法眼吗 |
| [02:52] | I see ’em, you perv. | 我看见她们了 你个变态 |
| [02:55] | The little hottie in the tank top is checking you out. | 穿无袖上衣的小辣妹正瞄你呢 |
| [02:59] | I know. | 我晓得 |
| [03:00] | Now please go away. | 你闪远点 |
| [03:03] | Why don’t you go down there and talk to her? | 你为啥不下去泡她 |
| [03:05] | I can’t. | 我不可以 |
| [03:07] | Why not? | 为啥 |
| [03:08] | I got a girlfriend. | 我有女朋友了 |
| [03:09] | Oh, buddy, you can’t call the posters in your room girlfriends. | 老兄 你可不该管你屋里海报上的妞叫女朋友 |
| [03:12] | No, I’m talking about Celeste. | 我现在和斯莱丝特在一起 |
| [03:15] | I’m in a committed relationship. | 我们彼此承诺了 |
| [03:16] | What are you talking about? You’re 13. | 你讲什么疯话呢 你才13岁 |
| [03:19] | I’m 15. | 我十五了 |
| [03:20] | Who cares? | 没人在乎你多大 |
| [03:22] | You’re too young for a committed relationship. | 你现在做出感情承诺也太早了 |
| [03:24] | I’m 40 and I’m barely ready. | 我四十了 才刚够着承诺的边 |
| [03:26] | You’re 42. | 你四十二了 |
| [03:27] | What is it with you and numbers? | 你现在倒会数数了 |
| [03:30] | Let me ask you something– | 我问你几个问题 |
| [03:32] | where is Celeste right now? | 你家斯莱丝特现在干嘛呢 |
| [03:34] | She’s spending Christmas with her mom in Brentwood. | 她和她老妈在布伦特伍德过圣诞呢 |
| [03:36] | So what, your life just stops when she’s gone? | 这么说她不在的时候你日子就不过了? |
| [03:39] | That’s the deal we made. | 我们就这么商量的 |
| [03:40] | Listen to me, if you want to go talk to the beach girl, | 听我的 如果你想和那沙滩小妞聊天 |
| [03:45] | you’ve got every right to do so. | 你现在就有权利这么做 |
| [03:47] | Are you sure? | 你确定 |
| [03:48] | I don’t think so. | 我不这么觉得 |
| [03:51] | Don’t worry about it. | 放宽心去吧 |
| [03:52] | Just go talk to her. | 去和她聊天 |
| [03:53] | Can I borrow ten bucks? | 能借我十块钱吗 |
| [03:55] | Why? | 为啥 |
| [03:56] | If she shoots me down, | 如果她不搭理我 |
| [03:57] | then I can go buy a couple corn dogs. | 我还可以买个玉米热狗 |
| [03:59] | She’s not going to shoot you down. | 她不会不搭理你的 |
| [04:01] | Yeah, but now I got a taste for corn dogs. | 不过我现在超想吃玉米热狗 |
| [04:03] | Just go. | 赶紧去吧 |
| [04:05] | – What if she wants a corn dog?- She’s about to meet one. | -万一她想吃呢 -她马上就认识你这个玉米热狗了 |
| [04:07] | Now get out of here. | 赶紧给我过去吧 |
| [04:11] | Do I look okay? | 我看起来咋样 |
| [04:12] | Jake, she waved at you. She smiled. | 哥们 她面带微笑地冲你招手 |
| [04:15] | Clearly her standards aren’t that high. | 摆明了她的标准就不是很高 |
| [04:18] | Right. Thanks. | 说的对 谢谢 |
| [04:24] | When did I turn 42? | 我啥时候42岁了 |
| [04:29] | Son of a bitch. | 他奶奶的 |
| [04:33] | Hey,I’m a organ Donor，good for me. | 我居然还是器官捐献者 真有我的 |
| [05:05] | Hey, Berta, merry Christmas. | 波塔 圣诞快乐 |
| [05:09] | Thank you, Charlie. | 谢谢你查理 |
| [05:11] | You’re very generous. | 你真大方 |
| [05:12] | Well, I just want you to know | 我只是想让你知道 |
| [05:14] | that I appreciate all your hard work. | 我非常感激你的辛勤工作 |
| [05:15] | And I appreciate you pretending I work hard. | 我也好感激你装着认同我工作很辛苦 |
| [05:18] | Hey, you feeling lucky? | 你觉得你运气怎么样 |
| [05:21] | What do you got in mind? | 你有什么想法吗 |
| [05:23] | My Christmas bonus– | 我用我的圣诞奖金 |
| [05:24] | double or nothing that Zrbnck makes the field goal. | 赌泽博奈特射门得分 |
| [05:27] | Are you crazy? | 你疯了吧 |
| [05:28] | That’s 52 yards. | 那有五十二码 |
| [05:30] | He hasn’t made one that long all year. | 他全年都没踢过这么远 |
| [05:31] | I got a hunch. | 我有预感 |
| [05:32] | You got a bet. | 我跟你赌了 |
| [05:34] | ANNOUNCER: There’s the snap. | 开始了 |
| [05:35] | The kick is up. | 射门 |
| [05:36] | It’s long enough, but wide. | 足够远了 但偏离目标 |
| [05:38] | It’s no good. | 失败了 |
| [05:39] | Zrbnck’s missed another one. | 泽博奈特再次射失 |
| [05:42] | Well, happy birthday, Jesus. | 好了 耶稣 生日快乐 |
| [05:47] | Told ya. | 早说了嘛 |
| [05:49] | No biggie. | 不要紧 |
| [05:51] | Easy come, easy go. | 来得快 去得快 |
| [05:53] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [05:54] | Looks like the grandkids are getting | 貌似今年外孙们还要牛肉干 |
| [05:56] | beef jerky and Lotto scratchers this year. | 和乐图玩具啊 |
| [06:01] | Here. | 拿去 |
| [06:03] | You’re too kind. | 你太好人了 |
| [06:05] | Don’t mention it. | 别提了 |
| [06:06] | You got a big heart. | 你真是心胸广阔 |
| [06:07] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [06:09] | Double or nothing they don’t make the first down. | 再赌他们不能拿下首次进攻 |
| [06:14] | Oh, hey. Where you been? | 嗨 你去哪里了 |
| [06:15] | Out on the beach. | 去沙滩了 |
| [06:17] | So, how’d it go? | 那怎么样了 |
| [06:18] | Fine. I’m getting her a grape soda. | 挺好 我来给她拿葡萄汽水 |
| [06:19] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
| [06:20] | You don’t bring the grape soda to her. | 你不要给她拿汽水 |
| [06:22] | You bring her to the grape soda. | 你带她来这里喝 |
| [06:24] | Her who? | 她是谁 |
| [06:25] | Hang on. | 等下 |
| [06:26] | You bring her here. | 你带她来这里 |
| [06:27] | She sees your beautiful house. | 看看你漂亮的房子 |
| [06:28] | She thinks you’ve got it going on, | 她认为你要更进一步 |
| [06:30] | and then you’ve got a shot at… | 然后你就有机会… |
| [06:34] | Well, I don’t know what you got a shot at, but you got a shot. | 嗯 我不知道你有机会干嘛 但你反正有机会 |
| [06:37] | Whoa, whoa, catch me up. | 喂 喂 怎么回事 |
| [06:39] | Do you see what I’m saying? | 你明白我说什么吗 |
| [06:40] | So I should bring her here? | 所以我应该带她来这? |
| [06:42] | Absolutely. | 当然了 |
| [06:43] | Women love this house. | 女人喜欢这房子 |
| [06:44] | It’s an aphrodisiac. | 这是催情剂 |
| [06:46] | I don’t think she’s afro anything. | 我觉得她不是黑人血统 |
| [06:50] | She’s more like Chinese. | 她更像中国人 |
| [06:52] | Wait, who’s Chinese? What’s going on? | 等下 谁是中国人 到底什么事 |
| [06:54] | He met a girl on the beach and I’m helping him out. | 他在沙滩认识一女孩 我在帮他忙 |
| [06:56] | What about Celeste? | 那斯莱丝特呢 |
| [06:58] | Uncle Charlie said my life shouldn’t stop just ’cause she’s not around. | 查理叔叔说我的人生不该因为她不在而停顿 |
| [07:00] | So you’re encouraging my son to cheat on his girlfriend? | 这么说你在鼓励我儿子背叛他女朋友? |
| [07:03] | Oh, come on, there’s no cheating going on. | 少来了 不存在什么背叛 |
| [07:05] | Are you cheating? I’m not sure. | -你有背叛吗 -我不确定 |
| [07:07] | You’re not cheating. | 你没有背叛 |
| [07:08] | Yes, he is. | 有 他就是 |
| [07:09] | How would you feel if Celeste was somewhere right now | 如果斯莱丝特现在在别处跟别人调情 |
| [07:11] | flirting with some other guy? | 你有什么感受 |
| [07:12] | How do you know she’s not? | 你怎么知道她没有 |
| [07:13] | She’s with her mom. | 她跟她妈妈一起 |
| [07:14] | And you’re with your dad, | 你也跟你爸一起啊 |
| [07:16] | but that’s not stopping you, is it? | 但也没有阻止你 对吧 |
| [07:18] | Good point. | 有道理 |
| [07:19] | No, no, it’s a lousy point. | 不 不 这是歪理 |
| [07:21] | Relationships are built on trust and mutual respect. | 恋爱关系是建立在信任和互相尊重之上 |
| [07:24] | Oh, grow up. | 噢 成熟点 |
| [07:25] | Relationships are built on diamond earrings and Viagra. | 恋爱关系是建立在钻石耳环和伟哥之上 |
| [07:30] | Now go take the young lady her grape soda. | 现在拿汽水给那小女生吧 |
| [07:32] | I still think it would help | 我还是觉得如果 |
| [07:33] | if I had some corn dog money to flash around. | 我有点买热狗的钱会管用 |
| [07:36] | Go. | 去吧 |
| [07:39] | Shame on you. | 你太无耻 |
| [07:41] | What’s the big deal? | 有什么大不了的 |
| [07:42] | It’s not like he and this Celeste girl are sleeping together. | 他跟斯莱丝特又没上过床 |
| [07:44] | No, no, but I think that once a relationship reaches any physical level, | 不 不 但我认为一旦关系发展到肢体层面 |
| [07:47] | there’s an implied commitment. | 那是有隐含承诺的 |
| [07:49] | Yeah, that’s because you married the first girl | 是啊 那是因为你跟第一个 |
| [07:51] | who touched your wiener. | 碰你小鸡鸡的女人结了婚 |
| [07:53] | Not true. | 才不是 |
| [07:55] | The first girl who touched my wiener was Maxine Chernakoff. | 第一个碰我小鸡鸡的女孩是玛克辛·珍纳可芙 |
| [07:58] | And she refused to marry me. | 并且她拒绝嫁给我 |
| [08:02] | As did the blind girl at camp, the school nurse | 还有露营时的盲妹 学校的护士 |
| [08:07] | and crazy cousin Wendy. | 和疯表妹温迪 |
| [08:15] | I hope you’re proud of yourself. | 但愿你引以为傲 |
| [08:18] | I’m more proud of him. | 我更为他而骄傲 |
| [08:20] | I mean, he actually got her back here | 我是说 他没有把人打晕 |
| [08:22] | without hitting her over the head | 也没有用粗麻袋装 |
| [08:23] | and stuffing her in a burlap sack. | 就真的把她带回来了 |
| [08:26] | Pretty girl. | 靓女啊 |
| [08:28] | Yep. | 对啊 |
| [08:29] | You’d think she’d have more self-esteem. | 你还认为她很有自尊呢 |
| [08:32] | Hey, Jake may be dull-witted, but he does have | 杰克可能有点迟钝 但他 |
| [08:35] | a certain je ne sais quoi with the ladies. | 对那女生肯定有点什么感觉的 |
| [08:37] | Well, maybe six years of picking his underwear up with a rake | 嗯 可能六年来用夹子帮他捡内裤 |
| [08:41] | has made me immune to his charms. | 让我对他不感冒 |
| [08:46] | Hey. Nice work talking her into coming back here. | 做得不错 说服她进来这里 |
| [08:49] | I didn’t really talk her into it. | 我其实没有说服她来 |
| [08:51] | She had to pee. | 她要尿尿而已 |
| [08:53] | Yeah, but you gave her the grape soda that made it happen. | 是 但那是你给她的葡萄汽水发挥作用 |
| [08:57] | Now, Jake, you’re just hanging out | 杰克 你现在跟她只是 |
| [08:59] | with this girl, right– as friends? | 像朋友般的闲聊对吗 |
| [09:00] | So far. What does that mean? | -目前是 -你什么意思 |
| [09:02] | It means I haven’t made my move yet. | 就是说我还没有采取行动 |
| [09:04] | What move? | 什么行动 |
| [09:06] | I’m not sure. | 我不确定 |
| [09:07] | That’s why I haven’t made it yet. | 所以还没有采取嘛 |
| [09:09] | Anyways, I don’t think it’s going to get serious. | 总之我不认为会有什么发生 |
| [09:11] | She doesn’t even live here. | 她甚至不住这儿 |
| [09:12] | She doesn’t? | 她不住这儿? |
| [09:14] | No, she’s just in town for the holidays visiting her aunt. | 是 她只是进城度假探望她姑妈 |
| [09:16] | She pronounced it “awnt,” but I figured it out. | 她说是姨妈 我猜是姑妈 |
| [09:19] | Oh, dude, you have hit the jackpot here. I have? | -帅哥 你中大奖了 -是吗 |
| [09:23] | This girl is most likely looking for a hot story | 这个女孩很可能寻找一段艳遇 |
| [09:27] | to tell her friends back home, | 作为回家后的谈资 |
| [09:28] | and you, you cute, little, clueless bastard, | 而你 可爱年少 傻头傻脑 |
| [09:30] | can be the star of that story. | 说不定能成为她故事的主角 |
| [09:32] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [09:33] | Yes, so stop wasting time. | 是啊 别浪费时间了 |
| [09:35] | What are you even doing in here? | 你到这里来干嘛的 |
| [09:36] | I had to fart, and I didn’t want to do it in front of her. | 我想放个屁嘛 总不能在人家面前放吧 |
| [09:39] | Attaboy. Good thinking. | 好孩子 想的很周到 |
| [09:43] | – I thought it was you. – I thought it was you. | -我以为是你放的呢 -我以为是你呢 |
| [09:46] | Oh, that must be Mom. | 肯定是老妈来了 |
| [09:48] | Mom? What’s Mom doing here? | 老妈 她来这干什么 |
| [09:50] | Well, it’s Christmas Eve, Charlie. | 今晚是圣诞前夜嘛 查理 |
| [09:52] | I know. Why isn’t she out stealing toys in Whoville? | 我知道 为什么不叫她去谁城偷玩具呢(出自圣诞怪杰) |
| [09:58] | Merry Christmas, one and all. | 各位圣诞快乐 |
| [10:01] | – Hello. – Hi, Mom. | -你好 -老妈你好 |
| [10:02] | Boys, this is the legendary TV producer | 孩子们 这位是传奇电视节目制作人 |
| [10:05] | Mr. Marty Pepper. | 马蒂·佩勃先生 |
| [10:07] | – Hi. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [10:08] | Marty, these are my sons, | 马蒂 这两个是我儿子 |
| [10:10] | Charlie and Alan. | 查理和艾伦 |
| [10:12] | Is it important which is which? | 有必要分清楚谁是谁吗 |
| [10:15] | Not really. | 无所谓啦 |
| [10:18] | Would you help me with the wheelchair? | 来帮我搬一下轮椅 |
| [10:20] | I’ll call you Scooter. | 我就叫你张三 |
| [10:22] | And you, uh, Dutch. | 叫你李四 |
| [10:26] | Uh, Mom… | 老妈 |
| [10:29] | are, uh, are you and he, um…? | 你和他是那个… |
| [10:31] | Oh, good Lord, no. | 天啊 当然不是了 |
| [10:33] | The man is 1,000 years old. | 这位都快万万岁了 |
| [10:34] | It’s a wonder his scrotum doesn’t get tangled up in the wheels. | 他的阴囊没缠在轮子上都是奇迹了 |
| [10:38] | So he’s just a friend? | 那他只是普通朋友而已 |
| [10:40] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [10:42] | And I just couldn’t let him spend Christmas Eve alone– | 我不能让他一个人过圣诞节 |
| [10:45] | rattling around his 25,000 square foot | 不能让他独自在25000平方英尺的 |
| [10:47] | Beverly Hills mansion, with adjoining guest house, | 比弗利山庄的大宅子里呻吟啊 |
| [10:50] | Olympic size saltwater pool and home theater. | 还有复式客房 超大盐水泳池和家庭影院呢 |
| [10:53] | There it is. | 原来是为了这个 |
| [10:55] | Are you really this hard up for a listing? | 为了让他在你这卖房子有必要这样嘛 |
| [10:57] | Alan, it’s a $60-million home. | 艾伦 这房子值6千万 |
| [11:01] | My commission will be almost $2 million. | 给我的佣金会达到200万 |
| [11:03] | How much did you make last year? | 你去年一年才挣了多少钱 |
| [11:06] | Welcome to our home, Mr. Pepper! | 欢迎光临寒舍 佩勃先生 |
| [11:09] | What are you shouting for? | 你喊什么喊啊 |
| [11:11] | I’m incontinent, not deaf. | 我是失禁了 但我不聋 |
| [11:13] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [11:15] | What? | 说啥啊 |
| [11:18] | Have an Abba Zaba, Marty. | 吃糖吧 马蒂 |
| [11:20] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:22] | Did I ever tell you I knew Lucille Ball? | 我有没有告诉过你我认识露西亚·保尔 |
| [11:25] | Yes, you did, dear. | 是的 你说过 |
| [11:26] | You know, she wasn’t a real redhead. | 你知道 其实她不是红头发的 |
| [11:29] | Ask me how I know. | 想知道我怎么发现的吗 |
| [11:31] | Warning: it’s dirty. | 小心哦 很下流的哦 |
| [11:34] | Uncle Charlie, I think Celeste knows I’m seeing another woman. | 查理叔叔 我想斯莱丝特知道我在和别的女生约会 |
| [11:38] | What? Why? | 什么 为什么 |
| [11:39] | She’s texting me. | 她给我发了短信 |
| [11:41] | What are you talking about? | 你们说啥呢 |
| [11:42] | Nothing, nothing. | 没什么 |
| [11:43] | Jake has a shot at some out-of-town strange. | 杰克有机会泡到一个外地来的陌生女孩 |
| [11:45] | You see how he is corrupting your grandson? | 你看见他是怎么把你孙子教坏的了吧 |
| [11:47] | Come on, Alan. | 别这样嘛 艾伦 |
| [11:49] | It’s out-of-town strange. | 人家是外地来的嘛 |
| [11:52] | Do you really have a shot? | 你真有机会吗 |
| [11:54] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [11:55] | Uncle Charlie seems to think so. | 貌似查理叔叔是这么认为的 |
| [11:56] | Tell her you wanna get her her own sitcom. | 跟她说你会做一部由她主演的情景喜剧 |
| [11:59] | Never fails. | 从没失败过 |
| [12:02] | There she is again. What do I do? | 她又发来了 我该怎么办 |
| [12:04] | Just text her back, “Thinking of you.” | 回她说 “我在想你” |
| [12:06] | Which you are, so you’re not lying. | 因为你本来就在想 所以这不算撒谎 |
| [12:08] | Good, that’s good. | 好的 很好 |
| [12:09] | Okay, this may be your house, but this is my son. | 行了 房子虽然是你的 但孩子是我的 |
| [12:11] | Yeah, and you’ve been living here seven years, | 是啊 你在这里住了七年 |
| [12:13] | which makes us a common-law couple, which makes him our son. | 我们都成了合法夫妻了 所以孩子是我们俩的 |
| [12:18] | Homos with a kid. | 有个孩子的同性恋夫妻 |
| [12:19] | A great idea for a sitcom. | 倒是情景喜剧的好题材 |
| [12:24] | It worked. She wrote back, | 成功了 她回短信说 |
| [12:25] | “Merry Christmas, I miz you.” | “圣诞快乐 我好(ˇ_ˇ）你” |
| [12:26] | Then write back, “I miz you, too.” | 那就回她 “我也(ˇ_ˇ）你” |
| [12:29] | Man, you are good. | 不愧是情圣啊 |
| [12:33] | Look at that. | 看看吧 |
| [12:34] | Our little boy is growing up. | 我们的孩子正茁壮成长呢 |
| [12:37] | How would you feel about us having another child? | 我们再要个孩子你觉得怎么样 |
| [12:46] | * Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock * | 铃铛响 铃铛响 铃铛摇啊摇 |
| [12:49] | * Jingle bells swing and jingle bell ring * | 铃铛摇啊摇啊 铃铛响 |
| [12:52] | * Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun * | 天空飘着雪花 带来无限欢乐 |
| [12:56] | * Now the jingle hop has begun * | 铃铛也跟着跳了起来 |
| [13:00] | * Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock * | 铃铛响 铃铛响 铃铛摇啊摇 |
| [13:03] | * Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time * | 铃铛的声音在天空回响 |
| [13:07] | * Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square * | 人们欢呼 人们起舞 |
| [13:10] | * In the frosty air | 在这严寒的空气中 |
| [13:13] | * What a bright time, it’s the right time * | 多么快乐的时光 那是快乐的时光 |
| [13:17] | * To rock the night away * | 请把黑夜带走 |
| [13:21] | * Jingle bell time is a swell time * | 铃铛响起的时刻无限欢乐 |
| [13:25] | * To go glidin’ in a one-horse sleigh * | 多想坐在雪橇上滑行 |
| [13:28] | * Giddy-up, jingle horse, pick up your feet * | 马儿马儿快站起来 |
| [13:31] | * Jingle around the clock… | 带我和时间赛跑 |
| [13:34] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [13:36] | * Mix and mingle with the jinglin’ feet * | 马儿带着铃铛飞奔 叮当声混响着 |
| [13:38] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [13:40] | * That’s the jingle bell, that’s the jingle bell… * | 那是铃铛摇啊摇 |
| [13:43] | Alan?! | 艾伦 |
| [13:54] | 40 years ago you asked for a little brother for Christmas. | 40年前你想要个弟弟做圣诞礼物 |
| [13:58] | Happy? | 现在高兴了 |
| [14:01] | * That’s the jingle bell rock! * | 那是铃铛摇啊摇 |
| [14:11] | Could somebody move me? | 谁能帮我换个地方 |
| [14:12] | My chestnuts are roasting by this open fire. | 我的老屁股都要烤焦了 |
| [14:17] | Is that you? | 那是你啊 |
| [14:19] | I thought Alan burned the ham. | 我以为艾伦把火腿烧糊了呢 |
| [14:25] | Berta, don’t you wanna spend Christmas with your family? | 波塔 你难道不想和家人一起过圣诞节吗 |
| [14:28] | Do you wanna spend Christmas with yours? | 你想和你的家人一起过圣诞节吗 |
| [14:30] | Let me freshen your drink. | 我在给你倒点酒去吧 |
| [14:35] | What is that fragrance you’re wearing, my dear? | 你擦的什么香水 |
| [14:38] | Ben Gay and foot powder. | 本基和沐足粉 |
| [14:42] | Whatever it is, it’s making me hot. | 不管是什么 我好喜欢哦 |
| [14:46] | Turkey’s almost done. | 火鸡马上就好了 |
| [14:48] | Aren’t you gonna put on some nice clothes? | 你不应该盛装打扮下吗 |
| [14:50] | Why? It’s just gonna be you, me, | 有必要吗 不就是你 我 |
| [14:52] | Chelsea, Berta, Mom | 切尔西 波塔 老妈 |
| [14:54] | and the ghost of showbiz past. | 还有那个娱乐界的老鬼 |
| [14:56] | And Jake. | 还有杰克呢 |
| [14:57] | -No, Jake split.- What? | -他早开溜了 -什么 |
| [15:00] | He’s hangin’ with his new girlfriend. | 他跟在跟新女朋友培养感情呢 |
| [15:02] | Where? | 在哪里 |
| [15:03] | Her aunt’s house. | 她姑姑家 |
| [15:05] | I think they got the place to themselves, | 我猜那地方应该只有他俩 |
| [15:06] | so he might get a little, you know, | 所以杰克今晚可以享受到片刻 |
| [15:08] | peace on Earth tonight. | 不被人打扰的安稳 |
| [15:10] | How do you make everything sound dirty? | 你怎么老爱把事情渲染得这么色呢 |
| [15:13] | Hey, I took the high road. | 拜托 我已经很收敛了 |
| [15:15] | I coulda gone with “Come, all ye faithful.” | 我本来还打算高歌那首”齐来崇拜圣歌”呢 |
| [15:19] | He needs to be home. | 他得马上回来 |
| [15:21] | Oh, come on, Alan. | 拜托 艾伦 |
| [15:22] | He’s got a real shot with that girl. | 他很可能会得手 |
| [15:24] | – I don’t care. It’s Christmas Eve. – So? | -我不管 今晚是平安夜 -那又怎样 |
| [15:26] | So if I can’t get laid, nobody gets laid. | 如果连我都没得搞 那谁也别想搞 |
| [15:28] | Yeah, Jake, this is your father. | 杰克 我以父亲的名义命令你 |
| [15:30] | Whatever you’re doing, | 不管你在做什么 |
| [15:31] | I want you to stop it and get your ass home. | 马上停止 赶紧给我滚回来 |
| [15:33] | What’s he doing? Is he decking her hall? | 他在干嘛 粉饰她的门厅吗 |
| [15:34] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [15:38] | Right now, mister! | 先生 现在 马上! |
| [15:40] | Fine, bring her back here if you want. | 随便 你想带就带回来吧 |
| [15:44] | Yes, there’s still pie left. | 对 那派绝对够吃 |
| [15:49] | What are you lookin’ at? | 看我干嘛 |
| [15:57] | How would you like to have your own sitcom? | 你觉得自己当主角情景喜剧怎么样 |
| [16:00] | Hi. Is Jake home? | 你好 请问杰克在家吗 |
| [16:03] | Um, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [16:04] | Sorry to intrude, but Celeste wanted | 抱歉 打扰了 但是斯莱丝特想 |
| [16:06] | to give Jake his Christmas present. | 亲手把圣诞礼物送给杰克 |
| [16:08] | Please come in. | 请进 |
| [16:09] | Aw, crap. | 这下糟了 |
| [16:12] | Wow, check out the mom. | 你瞧她妈那身段 |
| [16:13] | Forget the mom. | 赶紧回魂吧 |
| [16:15] | We gotta get rid of ’em before Jake walks in here | 咱们得赶在杰克牵着另一个妞回来之前 |
| [16:16] | with another girl. | 把这对母女弄走 |
| [16:18] | Yeah, yeah, good idea. | 对 你说得对 |
| [16:19] | Uh, hi, hi. I’m, uh, Alan, Jake’s divorced father. | 你好 我是艾伦 杰克的单亲爸爸 |
| [16:22] | Keisha, Celeste’s mother. | 我是凯莎 斯莱丝特的妈妈 |
| [16:25] | Her mother? | 你是她妈? |
| [16:26] | Oh, please, you look like her sister. | 天啊 你俩看起来就像一对姐妹花 |
| [16:28] | You’re sweet. | 你嘴真甜 |
| [16:29] | And single. | 而且我单身哦 |
| [16:31] | Where’s Jake? | 杰克在哪儿呢 |
| [16:35] | Actually, he’s, uh, distributing corn dogs | 事实上 他今晚在外面分发玉米热狗 |
| [16:40] | to the homeless tonight, | 给一些无家可归的人 |
| [16:42] | But we’ll make sure he gets your gift. | 但我们一定会把礼物转交给他的 |
| [16:44] | Thanks for stopping by. | 感谢你特意跑过来一趟 |
| [16:46] | Merry Christmas. | 祝你圣诞快乐 |
| [16:48] | Jake? | 杰克 |
| [16:49] | Oh, hi. | 你好啊 |
| [16:52] | Who’s this? | 她是谁 |
| [16:53] | Um… I don’t know. | 呃 我不认识她 |
| [17:00] | Who’s she? | 那她是谁 |
| [17:01] | Uh… Uncle Charlie? | 呃 查理舅舅 |
| [17:03] | I don’t know what to tell ya, pal. | 伙计 我也无计可施了 |
| [17:06] | It happens. | 出来混总是要还的 |
| [17:08] | You said you didn’t have a girlfriend! | 你骗我说你没有女朋友 |
| [17:11] | He doesn’t! | 他是没有 |
| [17:12] | Would you like some eggnog? | 想来点蛋奶酒吗 |
| [17:13] | You’ve got to be kidding. | 你开什么玩笑 |
| [17:16] | You want some pie? | 想来点派吗 |
| [17:18] | You are such a liar! | 你这个骗子 |
| [17:19] | Why all the yelling? | 怎么都气冲冲的 |
| [17:21] | What’s going on? | 发生什么事了 |
| [17:22] | – Uncle Charlie just ruined my life. – What? | -查理舅舅刚把我的生活给毁了 -什么 |
| [17:26] | He said it was okay to see other girls | 是他说女友不在身边时 |
| [17:27] | as long as my girlfriend wasn’t around. | 可以跟别的女孩子约会 |
| [17:29] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:30] | Is that what you believe? | 你是这么认为的咯 |
| [17:31] | No, no, not at all. | 不 当然不是啦 |
| [17:34] | He completely misunderstood me. | 他完全误会我的意思了 |
| [17:36] | Merry Christmas! | 圣诞快乐 |
| [17:38] | Yeah, right. | 算了吧 |
| [17:40] | Nice going. | 干得不错 |
| [17:46] | Would you like a lick? | 你要舔舔看吗 |
| [17:48] | Not of that. | 我看还是算了 |
| [18:04] | You want to take your hand off my leg? | 你要不要把手从我大腿上拿走啊 |
| [18:07] | I certainly do not. | 当然不要 |
| [18:16] | Love you. | 爱你哦 |
| [18:18] | Yeah. Who do you love when I’m not around? | 是吗 当我不在你爱的又是谁呢 |
| [18:23] | Hey, Uncle Charlie? | 查理舅舅 |
| [18:24] | You really suck, you know that? | 你就是个混蛋 你知道吧 |
| [18:27] | Yeah, I’ve been told. | 是的 早就有人告诉过我了 |
| [18:29] | Listen, Jake, would it be creepy for you | 杰克 听着 如果我给斯莱丝特的妈妈打电话 |
| [18:32] | if I called Celeste’s mom? | 你会觉得心里发毛吗 |
| [18:35] | Are you insane? | 你疯了吗 |
| [18:37] | Think about it. | 好好考虑一下 |
| [18:41] | Here you go, sweetie, bite-size, easy to chew. | 给你的 宝贝 大小正好 容易咀嚼 |
| [18:48] | Marty? | 马蒂? |
| [18:50] | Oh, God! Marty? | 天啊 马蒂? |
| [18:52] | Ha, just messin’ with you, ya vulture! | 逗你玩呢 你这个坏心的秃鹰 |
| [18:55] | She thinks she’s gonna sell my house when I’m dead, | 她盘算着等我死了 她好卖掉我的房子 |
| [18:58] | but I ain’t goin’. | 但我哪有这么容易挂啊 |
| [19:03] | Actually, I am goin’. | 说真的 我真要挂了 |
| [19:08] | Merry Christmas, everybody! | 各位 圣诞快乐 |