时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | I can’t believe this is only our second date. | 想不到第二次约会就天雷勾地火 |
[00:06] | I know, I feel like I’ve known you all my life. | 就是 我觉得我们已经认识一辈子了 |
[00:09] | Me, too. | 我也有同感 |
[00:11] | I’m assuming you mean that as a good thing. | 我假设那算是件大好事 |
[00:14] | Absolutely. | 那还用说 |
[00:17] | You’re such an unexpected surprise in my life, Alan. | 艾伦 你就是我人生路上的意外惊喜 |
[00:19] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
[00:21] | Uh, once again, I’m assuming that’s good. | 我再次假设那是件大好事 |
[00:24] | It’s great. | 是超好事 |
[00:27] | Do you always wear your socks in bed? | 你总是喜欢在床上穿袜子吗 |
[00:29] | Oh, oh, no, it’s just one of my toenails is kind of snaggly | 不是的 我的一个脚趾甲有点扎人 |
[00:32] | and I didn’t want to scratch you with it. | 我怕会扎到你 |
[00:34] | Oh, okay. | 了解 |
[00:36] | Had I known we were going to make love, | 要是知道我们能赤诚相见 |
[00:38] | I would have slapped a corn pad on the little bugger. | 我早就在我的脚趾甲上贴个玉米垫了 |
[00:42] | – Mom! – Damn it. | -老妈 -该死的 |
[00:44] | Eldridge, why aren’t you with your dad?! | 爱尔德里奇 你咋不和你老爸在一起 |
[00:47] | ‘Cause he’s a giant douche! | 因为他是个大SB |
[00:50] | Don’t talk about your father that way! | 不许这么说你爸 |
[00:53] | He’s actually a colossal douche. | 他爸就是个大SB |
[00:57] | should I go? | 要不要我走人 |
[00:58] | No, no, it’s fine. | 当然不用的 |
[01:01] | Do we have anything to eat?! | 咱家有啥吃的吗 |
[01:03] | Order a pizza! I’ve got company! | 叫个披萨吧 我这有客人 |
[01:06] | Is it Dave?! | 戴夫吗 |
[01:08] | – No! – Jimmy? | -不是 -吉米吗 |
[01:12] | No! | 也不是 |
[01:13] | He’s just trying to push my buttons. | 这小子就想逼死老娘 |
[01:16] | Yeah, Jake’s exactly the same way, | 我儿子也一个德行 |
[01:18] | always trying to get my goat. | 总是让我气不打一处来 |
[01:19] | Now, who are Dave and Jimmy? | 那个顺便问下戴夫和吉米是谁 |
[01:22] | Please don’t tell me you’re doing Jake’s loser dad! | 别和我说你正在上杰克的那窝囊废老爹 |
[01:27] | I’m a divorced mother with a 16-year-old son! | 我是有个16岁拖油瓶儿子的离婚女人 |
[01:30] | I can’t be picky! | 没有挑三拣四的资格了 |
[01:34] | Now, shut your pie hole! | 现在给我闭上你的臭嘴 |
[01:37] | – I hate you! – I hate you right back! | -我恨死你了 -我也是 |
[01:41] | So… where were we? | 我们该进行哪一步了 |
[01:46] | Um… are you sure you don’t want | 你确定不想花些时间 |
[01:49] | to spend some time with your son? | 陪陪你儿子吗 |
[01:50] | I just did. | 刚才已经陪过了 |
[01:53] | Fair enough. | 有道理 |
[01:57] | Can you tell I got my boobs done? | 你看的出来我隆过胸吗 |
[01:59] | Oh, no. They, uh, they feel very natural. | 看不出啊 这两个宝贝看起来很自然 |
[02:02] | Oh, good. | 那就好 |
[02:03] | That kid absolutely ruined the first set. | 我儿子弄残了我的原装胸部 |
[02:07] | Same thing happened to my ex-wife. | 我前妻也是这样 |
[02:08] | By the time Jake got through with them, | 等我儿子断了奶 |
[02:10] | they looked like a couple of windsocks on a quiet day. | 我前妻的胸部就像两个空面袋 |
[02:14] | Oh, just, uh, just FYI, | 只是顺便一说哈 |
[02:16] | I’m all original equipment. | 我的可都是原装货 |
[02:18] | Aside from, you know, a little anal bleaching. | 只是做了一点肛门美白而已 |
[02:21] | What? | 啥 |
[02:23] | Oh, it was an accident. | 一次小意外 |
[02:24] | I, uh, sat on a Clorox bottle by mistake. | 我曾不小心坐在了漂白液上面 |
[02:28] | Story for another day. | 改天和你细说 |
[02:33] | Eldridge, turn down the freakin’ music! | 埃尔德里奇 把那该死的音乐关上 |
[02:36] | Yeah, well, I don’t want to hear you have sex! | 我对你做爱的动静没兴趣 |
[02:38] | Then put on your headphones! | 那就把耳机给我带上 |
[02:40] | That’s why I bought them for you! | 要不老娘就白买给你了 |
[02:45] | That’s better. | 这还差不多 |
[02:47] | Come here. | 过来 |
[02:53] | Is something wrong? | 有什么不对劲吗 |
[02:55] | Oh, no, no. Everything’s great. | 没啊 一切都挺好的 |
[02:57] | Are you sure, ’cause… | 你确定不 |
[02:59] | your toenail’s the only thing poking me right now. | 因为现在你的脚趾甲是唯一顶着我的东西了 |
[03:02] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 不好意思啊 |
[03:04] | I’m a little distracted. | 我有点分心 |
[03:05] | Well, let me undistract you. | 不怕 让我来帮你收心 |
[03:10] | Son of a bitch. | 老娘不发威当我是病猫 |
[03:15] | What the hell is wrong with you?! | 你抽什么风 |
[03:18] | Hang in there. | 坚持下兄弟 |
[03:22] | We’ve practiced for this. | 养兵千日用兵一时 |
[04:00] | Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning | 醒来吧 这是一个切尔西的早上 |
[04:06] | And the first thing that I heard | 今晨我听到的第一个声音 |
[04:12] | Was a song outside my window | 就是窗外的一首歌 |
[04:17] | And the traffic wrote the words… | 忧伤亲自配的词句 |
[04:20] | Oh, give it a rest. | 消停会儿吧 |
[04:26] | I miss Chelsea. | 我想切尔西了 |
[04:27] | Hey. I miss the ’80s, | 我还想念80年代呢 |
[04:30] | but you don’t see me snorting blow off a DeLorean. | 可你见到我抹鼻涕搞出一辆德罗宁(典型老式跑车)吗 |
[04:35] | I know he’s grounded, Judith, | 我知道他要被禁足 朱蒂丝 |
[04:37] | but why can’t he be grounded at your house? | 但是为什么他就不能在你家禁足呢 |
[04:40] | Well, I have a life, too. | 我也有自己的生活啊 |
[04:42] | Yes, I do. | 废话 可不是真的 |
[04:45] | Since now. | 从现在开始的 |
[04:48] | Okay, I’ll tell you the truth. | 好吧我和你说实话 |
[04:50] | I… I’ve got a new girlfriend | 我新交了一个女朋友 |
[04:52] | and she only gets off one night a week and… | 她一周只有一晚有时间陪我 |
[04:57] | Why is that funny? | 你告诉我笑点在哪里 |
[04:59] | Oh! Ha, ha. | 哈哈 行了吗 |
[05:02] | That’s the pot calling the kettle non-orgasmic, | 你这就是乌鸦嘲笑老猪黑 |
[05:04] | don’t you think? | 对不 |
[05:06] | Hello? | 嗨 |
[05:07] | Hello? | 还在吗 |
[05:09] | Well, have a nice day, you miserable bitch! | 祝你愉快 你这卑鄙的贱人 |
[05:12] | Oh, oh, you’re still here! | 你还没挂啊 |
[05:13] | Uh, uh, have a good weekend. | 周末愉快哟 |
[05:17] | You know, Zippy, | 知道吗 痞子 |
[05:18] | you remind me of a blind cat I used to have. | 你让我想起我以前养的一只瞎猫 |
[05:22] | Bumping into walls, | 经常头撞墙上 |
[05:23] | stepping into his water dish. | 脚踩到它的水盆里 |
[05:25] | He was a hoot. | 一只废柴猫 |
[05:27] | I called him “Magoo.” | 我管它叫”麻姑” |
[05:30] | Cute. | 挺好 |
[05:31] | No, he was ugly, too. | 不不 他长相很不好 |
[05:34] | Oh, hey, Charlie, uh, you gonna be home tonight? | 查理 你今晚在家吗 |
[05:37] | Why? | 怎么了 |
[05:38] | – No. – Come on. | -不在 -拜托 |
[05:41] | I’ve got a romantic night planned, | 我今晚佳人有约 |
[05:42] | but I need somebody | 但是我需要有人 |
[05:43] | to keep an eye on Jake ’cause he’s grounded. | 帮我看着杰克 他被我禁足了 |
[05:45] | I got a better idea. | 我有个好主意 |
[05:47] | Open the front door and leave a trail of hamburgers | 把前门打开 在地上铺上一串汉堡 |
[05:49] | to the Army recruiting office. | 一路铺到征兵办公室门口 |
[05:52] | Everybody wins but America. | 这样人民解放了 政府遭殃了 |
[05:56] | Hey, uh, Berta, would you do me a favor? | 波塔 你可以帮我个忙吗 |
[05:58] | Oh, Magoo, always walking into walls. | 可怜的麻姑 四处碰壁 |
[07:09] | Where are you going? | 你要去哪 |
[07:12] | I told you. I’ve got a date. | 我告诉过你了 我有约 |
[07:14] | And I told you I’m not going to be responsible for your kid. | 我也告诉过你了 我不会帮你照看孩子的 |
[07:17] | Oh, you don’t have to be responsible for him, | 你不用帮我照看他 |
[07:19] | just let him see you. | 只要让他看见你就行了 |
[07:19] | You know, the illusion of adult supervision. | 给他造成有人监管的幻象 |
[07:22] | No, no, no. I’ve got plans of my own. | 不行 我自己也有安排 |
[07:24] | So if you’re going to go, take your kid with you. | 所以如果你要出去 把孩子带上 |
[07:26] | Please, Charlie, I booked a beautiful hotel room. | 求你了查理 我定了一间漂亮的酒店客房 |
[07:28] | And I put it on a credit card, so there’s no refund. | 而且我是用某张信用卡支付的 没法退钱 |
[07:31] | What do you mean “A credit card”? | “某张信用卡”是什么意思 |
[07:34] | I’ll pay you back, I swear. | 我会还你的 我发誓 |
[07:37] | Come on, it’s just for one night! | 拜托了 就一晚而已 |
[07:39] | I don’t ask for much. | 我要求又不多 |
[07:40] | Don’t ask for much? You’re a human tip jar. | 要求还不多? 你就是个人形揩油机 |
[07:43] | I’m begging you. | 我求你了 |
[07:45] | I already took the Cialis. | 我已经吃了犀利士了[壮阳药] |
[07:47] | Please don’t make me stay home with a boner. | 你总不能让我”直挺挺”地呆在家里吧 |
[07:50] | You were going to make me stay home with a boner! | 你这是在让我直挺挺呆在家里 |
[07:53] | Okay, okay, think about this. | 好吧好吧 这样如何 |
[07:54] | If it works out with me and Lyndsey, | 如果我和林赛的事儿成了 |
[07:56] | I might be able to move out of your house and into hers. | 我可能会从你那儿搬出来和她住 |
[07:59] | Don’t do that, Alan. | 别这样 艾伦 |
[08:00] | Don’t toy with my heart. | 不要玩弄我的感情 |
[08:03] | All right, all right, tell you what. | 好吧好吧 那这样 |
[08:05] | Go tell Jake to pack a bag. | 去让杰克收拾行李 |
[08:07] | I’ll drop him off at his mom’s. | 我把他送到他妈妈那去 |
[08:08] | Now, you’re making sense. | 这才像话 |
[08:13] | Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! | 抱歉啦 |
[08:16] | This isn’t over! | 这事儿没完 |
[08:18] | Sorry! | 抱歉 |
[08:22] | All right, here’s the deal. | 好了 事情是这样的 |
[08:24] | I’ve got someone coming over tonight, | 今晚我约了人过来 |
[08:25] | so I need you to make yourself scarce. | 所以我需要你消失一下 |
[08:27] | Are you back with Chelsea? | 你和切尔西复合了吗 |
[08:28] | No, I’m not back with Chelsea. | 不是 我没和切尔西复合 |
[08:31] | So what’s this new girl’s name? | 那这回这女的叫什么名字 |
[08:32] | I don’t know– Jasmine, Jade. | 不知道 茉莉还是小玉来着 |
[08:38] | I asked for Asian. | 我要的是亚洲人 |
[08:43] | Who’d you ask? | 你找谁要的 |
[08:47] | Nobody. | 没谁 |
[08:50] | Just get out of here for the night. | 总之你今晚别出现就行 |
[08:51] | But I’m grounded. | 但我被禁足了 |
[08:53] | I don’t burden you with my problems. | 我可没因为自己的问题拖累过你 |
[09:03] | Hey, Eldridge. My uncle’s horny. | 爱尔德里奇吗 我叔叔饥渴了 |
[09:04] | I’ll meet you at the pier. | 咱们码头见 |
[09:08] | This is fun, huh? | 这蛮有趣的吧 |
[09:10] | Sneaking off to a hotel room | 偷偷溜到酒店开房 |
[09:11] | like a couple of horny teenagers. | 就像一对偷情的小青年 |
[09:14] | Of course, I never had enough money | 当然了 我年轻的时候 |
[09:15] | as a teenager to afford a hotel room. | 从来不够钱去酒店开房 |
[09:18] | My first time was on a miniature golf course. | 我的第一次是在一个微缩高尔夫球场上 |
[09:21] | Inside the windmill. | 在一间磨坊里 |
[09:22] | No kidding. Did you get a hole in one? | 真的吗 那你是不是一杆进洞了 |
[09:25] | Uh, well actually a hole in two. | 事实上 是两杆进洞 |
[09:28] | I lost the first one taking the putter out of the bag. | 我第一杆推球入洞失手了 |
[09:32] | So, uh, where was your first time? | 那 你的第一次是在哪儿 |
[09:34] | Backstage at a Police concert. | 警察乐队[老牌摇滚乐队]演唱会的后台 |
[09:36] | Oh, Sting? | 跟斯汀吗(林赛以为是问疼吗) |
[09:37] | Little bit. | 还好 |
[09:43] | Can we stop at the drug store? | 可以在药店门口停一下吗 |
[09:44] | Oh, uh, don’t worry. | 不用担心 |
[09:45] | I brought enough condoms to golf our brains out. | 我带的安全套数量足够咱俩爽的了 |
[09:48] | No, actually, I have to get some tampons. | 不是的 其实是我需要买点卫生棉条 |
[09:51] | Oh. Oh, you mean for just in case, right? | 你是想有备无患是吧 |
[09:54] | ‘Fraid not. Sorry. | 恐怕不是 抱歉 |
[09:57] | Oh, no, no. Don’t, don’t be silly. | 没事没事 别傻了 |
[09:58] | Um, this is more about us | 咱们能在一起共度良宵 |
[09:59] | spending quality time together than anything else. | 比其他任何事都重要 |
[10:01] | Why would you feel that way? | 你怎么会这么想呢 |
[10:06] | Nevertheless, I do have a plan “b.” | 随便啦 我反正有”口”计划的 |
[10:08] | Oh, what’s that? | 怎么计划的 |
[10:10] | Plan “b,” Alan. | 艾伦 “口”计划 |
[10:12] | It goes with my plan “j.” | 跟”交”计划搭配的 |
[10:16] | Oh… | 这样啊 |
[10:19] | Yay! | 太棒了 |
[10:31] | So, Charlie, | 查理 |
[10:33] | How can I make you happy? | 我怎样才会让你爽 |
[10:35] | What are my choices? | 有选项不 |
[10:36] | Well, you paid for the full girlfriend experience, so… | 你付了全套女友服务的钱 所以… |
[10:41] | Anything you want. | 任何你想要做的事都成 |
[10:43] | Anything I want. | 任何我想做的 |
[10:44] | I like that. | 我喜欢 |
[10:45] | Okay… | 好吧 |
[10:48] | Read this magazine… | 看杂志 |
[10:53] | 我就看体育频道 …whil看e I watch sportscenter. | |
[10:59] | I want the girlfriend experience | 我想要女友服务 |
[11:01] | And that’s what my girlfriend used to do. | 这就是她常做的事 |
[11:02] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[11:06] | And every once in a while, | 每隔一会儿 |
[11:07] | Look at me and sigh while rolling your eyes. | 你就对我翻翻白眼叹口气 |
[11:14] | Oh, baby, that’s what daddy likes. | 宝贝 这就是我想要的 |
[11:26] | Cramps, huh? | 抽筋了对吧 |
[11:28] | No, I’m having another child. | 没 我在生孩子 |
[11:34] | Uh, you know, not that I’m complaining, | 不是在抱怨啥 |
[11:35] | But don’t you gals usually circle | 但你们女人一般不是习惯 |
[11:37] | this time of the month on the old calendar? | 在日历上把那几天圈起来吗 |
[11:39] | It’s not an exact science, Alan. | 艾伦 这可没那么精确 |
[11:41] | Aw, for god’s sake. | 看在上帝的面上 |
[11:43] | It’s like the horse head scene in the Godfather. | 就像《教父》里的马头场景一样(血淋淋) |
[11:50] | Could be worse. | 万幸 |
[11:53] | Could be the prom scene from Carrie. | 还好不是《魔女嘉莉》中的舞会场景(大撒狗血) |
[11:57] | That’s not funny. | 这也不有趣 |
[11:58] | Sorry. tell you what. | 抱歉 说一下 |
[12:00] | I will, uh, call for some room service. | 我去叫下客房服务 |
[12:02] | Any special requests? maybe some champagne? | 想来点什么吗 香槟怎样 |
[12:04] | Sure, whatever. | 随便什么啦 |
[12:06] | Oh, your wish is my command. | 随时听候您的吩咐 |
[12:10] | Uh, hello. hi. | 你好 |
[12:11] | Yeah, this is Dr. Alan Harper. | 我是艾伦·哈勃医生 |
[12:13] | I’m in room 710, | 我在710号房间 |
[12:15] | And I would like a bottle of your best champagne. | 我想来瓶你们这最上品的香槟 |
[12:21] | Oh, really? | 啊 真的么 |
[12:22] | You don’t have anything more expensive? | 你们没有更贵的啦 |
[12:24] | All right, it’ll have to do. | 好吧 也没别的办法了 |
[12:29] | Also, I would like some fresh strawberries | 然后我想要点新鲜的草莓 |
[12:33] | And a dozen blue point oysters. | 再来点蓝点牡蛎 |
[12:39] | Well, find some. | 去想办法弄 |
[12:40] | This is a special evening and I will spare no expense. | 今晚很特殊 我要不惜一切代价 |
[12:43] | Thank you. | 多谢 |
[12:47] | Hey, Alan? | 艾伦 |
[12:49] | Yes, my sweet? | 在 宝贝 怎么了 |
[12:50] | Can you hand me my purse? | 能把我的包包递过来么 |
[12:52] | Oh, sure. | 当然 |
[13:01] | Incoming. | 来了 |
[13:04] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[13:05] | We’re in luck. | 我们很好运 |
[13:08] | We are? | 我们? |
[13:09] | I’ve still got a couple of vicodin I stole from my son. | 我从我儿子那偷了点磕的药来 |
[13:12] | You stole drugs from your son? | 你从你儿子那里偷嗑药来? |
[13:14] | It’s only fair. he stole my youth. | 很公平 他偷走了我的青春 |
[13:18] | All righty. | 好吧 |
[13:21] | Room service. | 客房服务 |
[13:23] | Oh, that was quick. | 这可真快 |
[13:32] | All right, now, we’ve circled back around | 好了 现在我们回到刚才 |
[13:35] | To hockey scores, so… | 曲棍球的比分了 然后… |
[13:38] | Time for sex. | 该嘿咻了 |
[13:39] | Okay. | 好 |
[13:41] | And what kind of sex does Charlie want? | 查理想要何种嘿咻方式呢 |
[13:46] | Hard to pick. | 好难选哦 |
[13:47] | It’s kind of like baskin-robbins. | 就像在冰激凌店挑冰激凌 |
[13:52] | You know, if they charged $1,000 a scoop. | 我是说假使他们一勺卖一千大洋的话 |
[13:56] | And sprinkles are way extra. | 而且小碎糖要另外付钱 |
[14:00] | Well, I guess if I have to choose, | 我在想是不是要选择 |
[14:02] | My favorite kind of sex is make-up sex. | 我最喜欢的就是和解式嘿咻 |
[14:05] | You’re kidding. | 你在说笑吧 |
[14:07] | No, it’s great. | 没 很好玩的 |
[14:08] | Here’s how we do it. | 是这样做的 |
[14:09] | I will do or say something that will really irritate you. | 我会说或者做一些让你烦躁的事 |
[14:13] | I can imagine that happening. | 我想象得出 |
[14:15] | And then we’ll have an argument, | 然后我们开始争吵 |
[14:17] | Which will escalate into a fight. | 逐步演变成争斗 |
[14:19] | You’ll sulk, I’ll pout. | 你不悦 我噘嘴 |
[14:20] | Then after a couple of minutes, we’ll look at each other | 几分钟后 我们就会看着对方 |
[14:23] | And realize we’re being silly, | 意识到我们太傻了 |
[14:24] | and how lucky we are to have each other. | 意识到我们能拥有对方是多么幸运 |
[14:25] | Then I will take you in my arms | 然后我会揽你入怀 |
[14:28] | And we’ll hump our brains out. | 然后我们就开始加足马力了 |
[14:29] | Fine. how do we start? | 了解 我们怎样开始 |
[14:31] | Let me think. | 我想想看 |
[14:33] | All right. | 这样吧 |
[14:35] | Go in the bathroom and look in the sink. | 到厕所去看看水池 |
[14:38] | What? | 什么 |
[14:39] | Just-just do it. trust me. | 做就是了 相信我 |
[14:50] | Oh, god, it’s disgusting! | 天啊 太恶心了 |
[14:52] | Good, go with that. | 很好 就这样继续 |
[14:55] | Would it kill you to rinse out the sink after you shave? | 刮毛后冲下就让让你生不如死啊 |
[14:57] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[14:59] | All right, I forgive you. | 好 我原谅你了 |
[15:01] | No, no-no, no, no, no, no. not yet. | 不 不 不 不 还没结束 |
[15:05] | Make me work for it. | 逼我吵架 |
[15:07] | Okay. | 好的 |
[15:10] | Damn it, Charlie, | 该死 查理 |
[15:11] | You’re the most thoughtless man in the world. | 你真是世界上最不替别人着想的男人了 |
[15:13] | Oh, come on, I’ll rinse out the sink when I brush my teeth. | 拜托 我会在刷牙的时候冲一下水池的 |
[15:17] | You haven’t brushed your teeth yet? | 你还没刷牙么 |
[15:18] | What kind of a pig are you? | 你属猪的么 |
[15:21] | Nice touch. | 这话不错 |
[15:23] | But just remember, you’re not really mad about the whiskers. | 记住 别真的为胡须生气 |
[15:26] | You’re mad, ’cause I don’t listen to you | 你是因为我没听你说话而生气 |
[15:27] | And I don’t like your friends | 而且我不喜欢你的朋友 |
[15:29] | And I said snide things about your mother. | 我还说了你妈妈的很多坏话 |
[15:30] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, so… | 对 对 对 |
[15:31] | When do we get to the “humping our brains out”? | 什么时候开足马力呢 |
[15:33] | Oh, we’re not even close. | 还远着呢 |
[15:35] | This goes on for hours. | 要几个小时 |
[15:41] | Take this and pretend like you’re working. | 拿着这个 假装你正在工作 |
[15:43] | Oh, sweetie, I don’t have to pretend. | 亲爱的 我确实在工作 |
[15:48] | How would you feel about slapping some | 你喜不喜欢把油腻腻的润肤霜 |
[15:50] | greasy skin cream all over your face? | 拍得满脸都是? |
[15:52] | Where you going with this? | 你这又扯到哪去了 |
[15:56] | I’m just talking skin cream. | 我只是聊聊润肤霜而已 |
[15:58] | What do you think, I’m some kind of freak? | 怎么了 你不会以为我是变态佬吧 |
[16:00] | Okay, but I’m not that kind of freak. | 好吧 但我可没变态到那种程度 |
[16:31] | That’s going to attract seagulls. | 这味道能把海鸥给招来 |
[16:37] | Okay, let’s get this over with. | 好了 咱们做正事儿吧 |
[16:40] | Don’t you want to have some | 要不要尝一下客房服务 |
[16:41] | room service champagne and oysters | 提供的香槟和牡蛎 |
[16:43] | No. I do this better on an empty stomach. | 不用了 我空腹的时候干这事更好些 |
[16:46] | By the way, um, I’m a little foggy from the vicodin, | 顺便说句 我吃维柯丁吃的有点晕乎 |
[16:50] | so if I fall asleep in the middle, | 所以 如果我中途睡着了 |
[16:52] | just give me a little tap on the shoulder. | 你只要拍我肩膀一下就好了 |
[16:55] | Okay. | 好的 |
[16:55] | Come here. | 来吧 |
[17:01] | You’re a good kisser, Alan. | 艾伦 你真是个接吻高手 |
[17:02] | Thank you. | 多谢 |
[17:03] | Better than my ex-husband. | 起码比我前夫强 |
[17:05] | Oh. well, good for me. | 是嘛 我真荣幸 |
[17:09] | He made up for it below the waist, | 所以他只能用腰部以下部位来弥补 |
[17:12] | if you know what I mean. | 你懂我的意思吧 |
[17:15] | He had big feet? | 他的脚很大吗 |
[17:16] | Three of them. | 三只大脚 |
[17:18] | But only two wore shoes. | 但只有两只需要穿鞋子 |
[17:22] | Lucky you. | 你真走运 |
[17:23] | Ah, don’t worry. | 别担心嘛 |
[17:25] | Size doesn’t matter to me. | 大小对我来说不重要的 |
[17:27] | Good to know. | 那就好 |
[17:28] | In fact, in this situation, | 说真的 就眼下来说 |
[17:31] | the smaller the better. | 越浓缩 越精华 |
[17:40] | Um… you’re welcome? | 额… 不用客气? |
[17:51] | What the hell was that? | 那是什么鬼动静 |
[17:52] | Um, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[17:53] | Maybe the strawberries are fighting with the oysters. | 也许是草莓大战牡蛎吧 |
[18:02] | What? | 干嘛 |
[18:03] | I think the oysters are making a break for it. | 我觉得牡蛎想要趁乱逃走了 |
[18:05] | Excuse me. | 等我一会 |
[18:08] | Are you going to throw up? | 你要吐了吗 |
[18:09] | I wish! | 我倒是想 |
[18:11] | You might want to turn the tv on– loud! | 你可能需要把电视打开 声音调大 |
[18:14] | Why? | 为什么啊 |
[18:15] | You don’t want to hear what’s about to happen! | 接下来的声音你不会想听到的 |
[18:17] | Oh… klahoma ? | [《雾水总统》插曲] |
[18:22] | where the wind comes sweeping down the plain ? | 是何处来的狂风拂扫着大地 |
[18:24] | Where the waving wheat ? | 哪里有麦浪翻滚 |
[18:26] | It sure smells sweet when the wind… ? | 当风吹过 甜香四溢…. |
[18:31] | All right, one grilled cheese with avocado and bacon, | 好了 一份鳄梨熏肉烤芝士 |
[18:34] | extra crispy. | 格外松脆 |
[18:35] | Oh, thank you, honey. | 谢谢你 亲爱的 |
[18:36] | You realize that bacon’s going to kill you. | 你知道熏肉会要了你的小命吧 |
[18:40] | I know. | 我知道 |
[18:41] | You say you know, but you keep eating it. | 你嘴上说知道 却还在继续吃 |
[18:43] | Oh, come on, don’t nag. | 拜托 别唠叨了行不 |
[18:46] | I’m not nagging, i’m concerned about you. | 我不是唠叨 我这是在关心你 |
[18:48] | Fine, fine. I’ll take the bacon off. | 好吧好吧 我把熏肉拿掉 |
[18:50] | Don’t do me any favors. | 你用不着敷衍打发我 |
[18:52] | No-no, no. I’m doing it. I’m doing it, see? | 不不不 我这就把肉拿掉 看见没 |
[19:00] | Who’s that? | 谁来了 |
[19:01] | Just the kid. Jake, get in here! | 孩子回来了 杰克 过来 |
[19:04] | We have a kid? | 咱俩还有孩子 |
[19:06] | You didn’t say anything about having a kid. | 你可从来没提到过孩子的事情 |
[19:07] | He’s not ours. he’s my brother’s. | 他不是咱俩的 是我弟弟的孩子 |
[19:09] | So what’s my part in this scenario? | 那我现在又该扮演什么角色 |
[19:13] | You don’t think I’m a good role model, | 你觉得我不是一个模范父亲 |
[19:15] | and yet, paradoxically | 但让你无比纠结的是 |
[19:16] | you still want to have children with me. | 你仍然想和我生孩子 |
[19:19] | What? | 怎么了 |
[19:20] | Did you go out even though you were grounded? | 你是不是明知自己被禁足了还出去溜达 |
[19:23] | You told me to. | 你让我出去的啊 |
[19:26] | Don’t look at me like that. he’s lying. | 别这样看着我 这小子在说谎 |
[19:28] | I’m not lying. | 我才没说谎 |
[19:29] | And I’m not looking at you. | 而且我也没朝你看 |
[19:31] | All right, all right, enough. | 好了好了 够了 |
[19:33] | You, young man, | 你 年轻人 |
[19:35] | Go to your room and think about what you’ve done. | 回你的房间去 好好反省你做过的事 |
[19:37] | Whatever. | 随你怎么说 |
[19:40] | I think we handled that really well. | 我觉得咱们处理的挺好的 |
[19:42] | Tough love, but I’m still the cool uncle. | 爱之深责之切 但我还是那个酷蜀黍 |
[19:45] | Hey, if you’re happy, I’m happy. | 你高兴就行 我没意见 |
[19:47] | I’m very happy. | 我非常高兴 |
[19:49] | In fact, are you free tomorrow? | 还有 你明天有空吗 |
[19:51] | I’m never free, but I’m available. | 我一直没空 但我可以抽空 |
[19:55] | Well, great. | 那太好了 |
[19:56] | How about you drag me to some boring museum | 不如你拖我去某个无聊的博物馆 |
[19:58] | so I can miss the laker game? | 这样我就能错过湖人队的比赛了 |
[20:01] | It’s your money. | 反正是你出钱 |
[20:02] | Is it okay if I go take a shower? | 我可以去洗把澡吗 |
[20:04] | Well, sure. okay. | 当然可以 |
[20:05] | I’ll be up in a bit. | 我过一会上去 |
[20:13] | Still cheaper than getting married. | 还是比结婚来的省钱 |
[20:23] | All righty. here we are. | 好嘞 咱们到了 |
[20:26] | – Thank you. – You’re welcome. | -谢谢 -不客气 |
[20:30] | Believe it or not, I actually had a good time. | 你信不信都好 我玩得很开心 |
[20:33] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[20:35] | Well, yeah. | 是啊 |
[20:35] | Nice hotel, room service, no teenagers. | 宾馆很不错 客房服务周到 没有未成年人 |
[20:39] | Um, I’m glad. | 很高兴你这么想 |
[20:41] | So, shall we try it again | 那 咱们要不要再来一次 |
[20:44] | In, you know, five or six days? | 不过 要等五六天左右 |
[20:49] | I would like that. | 我很乐意 |
[20:54] | Okay, I don’t meant to rush you, | 好了 我不是想催你走 |
[20:56] | but I really have to go home to my bathroom. | 但我真的需要回家用一下洗手间 |
[20:58] | What don’t use mine? | 干嘛不用我家的 |
[20:59] | No, that wouldn’t be good for our relation ship. | 不行 那样会伤害咱俩的感情 |
[21:02] | All right, well, bye. | 好吧 拜拜 |
[21:05] | Seriously, get out the car. | 说真的 立刻下车 |