| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Man, I love German cars. | 爱死德国车了 |
| [00:04] | Well, if you keep your nose clean and work hard, | 只要你抹干净鼻子 努力工作 |
| [00:07] | someday you’ll be able to park them for a living. | 总有一天你会靠泊好车为生的 |
| [00:11] | Excellent. | 帅啊 |
| [00:15] | Why is my ass getting hot? | 我屁股怎么越来越热啊 |
| [00:18] | You turned on the seat warmer. | 座椅加热器打开了 |
| [00:20] | Oh, good. | 还好 |
| [00:21] | I was afraid I had another case of swamp ass. | 我还以为股沟汗又发作了呢 |
| [00:24] | Another case? | 又发作? |
| [00:26] | Yeah, it happens every year around this time. | 每年这个时候我都会发病 |
| [00:28] | Only thing that helps it is aloe vera and Vaseline. | 只有芦荟汁和凡士林能管点用 |
| [00:31] | I see. | 了解 |
| [00:32] | Half a tube of each, right in the crack. | 每边屁屁各半支凡士林和芦荟汁 |
| [00:36] | It’s like squirting ketchup and mustard into a hot dog bun. | 就像番茄酱和芥末喷溅在热狗面包上 |
| [00:41] | Then you, like, mash the sides together. | 然后你把他们抹匀 |
| [00:44] | Enough. | 说够了吧 |
| [00:46] | Sorry. | 俺错了 |
| [00:47] | You hungry? | 你饿了没 |
| [00:48] | I’m getting hungry. | 反正我是饿了 |
| [00:51] | I may never eat again. | 我这辈子都可以不吃了 |
| [00:53] | Yellow light. | 黄灯 |
| [00:55] | I’m slowing down. | 我减速了 |
| [00:56] | No, no, no, gun it, gun it! | 我让你加速 加速 |
| [00:59] | Man, this thing is a rocket ship. | 你的车就跟火箭一样 |
| [01:02] | Okay, okay, now you can slow down. | 行了 现在可以减速了 |
| [01:07] | Should I run for it? | 我要不要跑路 |
| [01:09] | What are you, crazy? | 说你傻你就冒鼻涕泡 |
| [01:11] | Pull over. | 赶紧给我停车 |
| [01:12] | You told me to run the light. | 是你和我说要加速的 |
| [01:14] | My dad’s gonna kill me. | 这回我爹要宰了我 |
| [01:15] | Calm down; he’s not gonna kill you. | 别紧张了 他才不会宰了你的 |
| [01:17] | How can I calm down? I just got my license, | 我咋能不紧张 我才拿的驾照 |
| [01:19] | and now I’m gonna lose it! | 还没热乎就要丢了 |
| [01:20] | All right, all right. | 行了 别罗嗦了 |
| [01:23] | Switch places with me. | 和我换下位置 |
| [01:24] | What? | 为啥 |
| [01:25] | Just do it. | 赶紧换 |
| [01:29] | And give me your hat. | 把你的帽子给我 |
| [01:30] | You want my lucky hat? | 你要我的幸运小帽帽 |
| [01:32] | Yeah. I want to share in your good fortune. | 我要用它分点你的好运气 |
| [01:41] | Evening, Officer. | 晚上好 警官 |
| [02:14] | Hey. Where have you guys been? | 你们一起去哪里了 |
| [02:16] | Van Nuys. | 范纳依斯 |
| [02:17] | What were you doing in Van Nuys? | 你们去那做什么 |
| [02:19] | That’s where the jail is. | 那里有监狱 |
| [02:22] | What? | 为啥 |
| [02:23] | I got arrested. | 我被捕了 |
| [02:25] | You’re kidding. What for? | 真的啊 因为啥 |
| [02:27] | Apparently, I ran a red light at 64 miles an hour. | 因为我以64英里/小时的速度闯了红灯 |
| [02:30] | And I was in the passenger seat. | 我当时在副驾驶座位 |
| [02:34] | Yes, I was driving, | 是的 我开的车 |
| [02:36] | therefore you were in the passenger seat. | 因为你在副驾驶座位 |
| [02:40] | Anyway, it turns out | 总之 |
| [02:41] | I had a couple of unpaid parking tickets. | 我还有一大堆的停车罚单没缴 |
| [02:44] | Seventeen. | 十七张 |
| [02:46] | Thank you. | 我谢你了 |
| [02:47] | They arrested you for unpaid parking tickets? | 他们就因为你没缴罚单拘捕你 |
| [02:50] | Well, there was also a bench warrant | 我还有一张法院拘票 |
| [02:52] | when I didn’t show up in court. | 因为我没有及时出庭 |
| [02:53] | Well, how could you not show up in court? | 你为什么没及时出庭 |
| [02:55] | Don’t they send you a summons? | 他们没给你发传票吗 |
| [02:57] | Lots of them, but I threw them away. | 发了好多次 但是被我无视了 |
| [03:01] | I thought they were for jury duty. | 我以为让我去做陪审员 |
| [03:05] | Long story short, when I didn’t show up, | 长话短说 我没出庭 |
| [03:07] | they suspended my license. | 他们就暂时吊销了俺的驾照 |
| [03:09] | And I was in the passenger seat. | 反正我是在副驾驶位置的 |
| [03:11] | So you were driving with a suspended license? | 你就用吊销的驾照开车 |
| [03:14] | Only for a couple of years. | 只是开了几年而已 |
| [03:19] | Luckily though, my license was fine, | 幸运的是 我的驾照米事 |
| [03:20] | so when they took him to the police station, | 他们带他去警局的时候 |
| [03:22] | I followed in the Mercedes. | 我开着大奔在后面跟着 |
| [03:23] | By the way, | 顺便说下 |
| [03:24] | I reset all your radio stations to good stuff. | 我把你的电台重新设置了 以前的太怂了 |
| [03:27] | I’d like to be alone now, Jake. | 杰克 我现在想自己待会 |
| [03:29] | Understandable. | 理解万岁 |
| [03:30] | You’ve been through a lot. | 你今天也够受了 |
| [03:32] | By the way, if you need anyone to drive you to the movies | 你如你需要人带你去看电影 |
| [03:35] | or the mall or a strip club, I’m available. | 去超市 或者脱衣舞俱乐部 我随时有空 |
| [03:37] | Appreciate it. | 万分感谢 |
| [03:39] | And you can just relax in the passenger seat, | 你在副驾驶座位可以轻松的待着 |
| [03:41] | like I did earlier today. | 就想我今天一样 |
| [03:42] | Get out! | 给我浑圆的离开 |
| [03:47] | Listen, I am sorry that you lost your license, | 哥们你驾照挂了真够倒霉的 |
| [03:50] | but I would be remiss if I did not point out | 但是我是不得不说你 |
| [03:53] | what a bad example you’re setting for Jake. | 你这样给杰克树立个反面典型 |
| [03:54] | Not now, Alan. | 现在别嘚啵 艾伦 |
| [03:56] | Oh, no, I think now is exactly the right time. | 我觉得现在正是说教的时间 |
| [03:58] | That young man looks up to you. | 我儿子非常尊重你 |
| [04:00] | And when he sees you blatantly disregard the rules of the road, | 当他看见你无视行车规则 |
| [04:03] | he’s more likely to do it himself. | 是很有可能有样学样的 |
| [04:06] | You’re right. You’re right. | 你说的对 灰常对 |
| [04:08] | I’m sorry. | 我错了 |
| [04:10] | Are you really? | 你是真心的吗 |
| [04:11] | Or you just saying the words? | 别只是做样子 |
| [04:17] | Uh, don’t walk away when I am talking to you. | 我和你说话的时候不要走开 |
| [04:20] | I’m gonna count to three, Alan. | 我就数到3 艾伦 |
| [04:21] | – Oh, that’s mature. – Three. | -你真幼稚 -三 |
| [04:23] | Ow! | 哎呦 |
| [04:26] | Where was one and two? | 你没数1和2 |
| [04:27] | Ow! Ow! | 哎呦 哎呦 |
| [04:36] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [04:38] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [04:40] | You know I was just trying to show concern for my son. | 我只是想多关心下我儿子 |
| [04:44] | I do. | 了解 |
| [04:45] | And you know I was just trying to cause | 我只是想要对你的胳膊 |
| [04:47] | severe nerve damage to your shoulder. | 造成永久性神经损伤 |
| [04:49] | I do. | 了解 |
| [04:51] | You know, we should maybe | 我觉得 |
| [04:53] | come up with some kind of safe word. | 我们要想一些暗号 |
| [04:56] | Like “pumpernickel.” | 比方说”粗麦面包” |
| [04:58] | Sure, whatever. | 是吧 管他呢 |
| [05:01] | You know, until you get your license back, | 你知道的 在你拿回驾照之前 |
| [05:03] | you can count on me to drive you wherever you need to go. | 你要出行可以叫我开车 |
| [05:06] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [05:08] | Of course, during the week, I’m working. | 当然了 工作日期间 我要上班 |
| [05:10] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [05:12] | And, uh, and Monday nights, I’m at the senior center. | 还有 星期一晚 我在老人中心 |
| [05:14] | What the hell are you doing at the senior center? | 你去老人中心搞什么鬼 |
| [05:16] | Free pilates class. | 免费普拉提课程 |
| [05:20] | They don’t even check IDs. | 他们甚至不查身份证 |
| [05:24] | Uh, Tuesdays and Thursday nights, | 星期二和星期四晚上 |
| [05:26] | they have water aerobics, uh, Wednesday is low-impact hip-hop, | 那里有水中有氧运动 星期三是低强度嘻哈 |
| [05:30] | and, uh, Friday is movie night. | 还有星期五是电影之夜 |
| [05:33] | This week is Cocoon. | 这个星期都蜗在那里了 |
| [05:37] | Again. | 又一次 |
| [05:40] | And of course on Saturday, you know, I need to power down, | 当然在星期六 你知道的 我要消停一下 |
| [05:43] | and, uh, Saturday night… | 然后 星期六晚 |
| [05:45] | maybe a date. | 可能约个会 |
| [05:48] | You’re calling those magazines dates now? | 那些杂志是你的约会对象? |
| [05:56] | But, hey, any other time | 然而 其他任何时候 |
| [05:59] | you need a ride, I’m your man. | 你要出去 我当司机 |
| [06:00] | Wonderful. | 好极了 |
| [06:02] | Sunday is usually good. | 通常星期天是可以的 |
| [06:04] | Not this Sunday though; I got a little thing. | 这个星期天不行 我有点事 |
| [06:06] | I know, but what does that have to do with Sunday? | 我知道 但星期天你那些对象有什么要做的 |
| [06:12] | Cute, cute. | 有意思 有意思 |
| [06:13] | Um, you know, actually, | 你知道 其实 |
| [06:14] | I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this, | 我早就想跟你说件事 |
| [06:16] | but, um, I was waiting for the right time. | 但是我在等待时机 |
| [06:19] | Are you… | 你要 |
| [06:22] | moving out? | 搬出去吗 |
| [06:25] | No. But that never ceases to be amusing. | 不 那早就不好笑了 |
| [06:28] | Um, anyhoo, turns out, | 总之 是这样 |
| [06:31] | I was invited to Chelsea’s birthday party. | 我被邀请到切尔西的生日派对 |
| [06:34] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:35] | Yeah, well, you know, when she was living here, | 你也知道 她在这里住的时候 |
| [06:37] | we were friends, and we’ve remained friends. | 我们是朋友 现在也是 |
| [06:40] | She invited you to her birthday party? | 她邀请你去她的生日派对? |
| [06:42] | I won’t go if you don’t want me to. | 如果你不想我去我就不去 |
| [06:43] | I don’t want you to. | 我不想你去 |
| [06:44] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [06:46] | Asked and answered. | 一问即答 |
| [06:47] | Done and done. | 成交 |
| [06:52] | I did buy her a lovely scarf. | 我给她买了条可爱围巾 |
| [06:56] | Will it support your weight from a shower rod? | 可以用来把你吊起来吗 |
| [07:02] | Classic. | 经典 |
| [07:04] | Of course, it might be a little awkward if I don’t show. | 当然了 如果我不出现可能有点不合适 |
| [07:07] | Why is that? | 为什么 |
| [07:09] | I volunteered to bring the ice. | 我自愿负责带冰块 |
| [07:10] | Is that why you’ve been filling Ziploc bags | 所以你整个星期 |
| [07:12] | with my ice cubes all week? | 都在打包我的冰块? |
| [07:15] | It’s exactly the same ice as the kind you have to pay for, | 跟你到外面买的其实一样的 |
| [07:18] | sans the fancy polar bear label. | 除了没有那独特的北极熊标志 |
| [07:22] | I’m not gonna say this again, Alan. | 我不想说这个了 艾伦 |
| [07:23] | I do not want you hanging out with my ex-fiance. | 我不想你跟我前女友交往 |
| [07:26] | I hear you, loud and clear. | 我听到了 一清二楚 |
| [07:30] | It’s just so rare I get to socialize | 我难得有同龄人 |
| [07:32] | with people my own age. | 的社交活动 |
| [07:34] | What, there’s no free nooky night at the senior center? | 什么 老人中心没有免费的交合之夜? |
| [07:43] | Okay, okay, what if I just go for cocktails and skip dinner? | 好了 好了 如果我跳过晚宴只去鸡尾酒会呢 |
| [07:48] | Three? Three. | -三? -三 |
| [07:55] | Alan, wake up. | 艾伦 起来 |
| [07:57] | Pumpernickel! | 粗麦面包 |
| [08:00] | You got to go to Chelsea’s party. | 你要去切尔西的派对 |
| [08:03] | Uh, okay. | 好 |
| [08:05] | If you don’t go, she’s gonna know I told you not to. | 如果你不去 她会知道是我让你不去的 |
| [08:08] | That’s possible. | 有可能 |
| [08:09] | It’s a sure thing. | 肯定会的 |
| [08:11] | She knows you never pass up a free meal. | 她知道你绝不会错过免费晚餐 |
| [08:13] | That’s not true. | 那不一定 |
| [08:15] | How many birthdays have you had at Denny’s this year? | 今年你去丹尼家蹭生日会多少次了? |
| [08:20] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [08:22] | So you got to go to the party | 所以你要去派对 |
| [08:23] | and let her know that I’m doing just fine without her. | 并且让她知道 没有她我也过的好好的 |
| [08:26] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [08:27] | But you got to be cool about it. | 但你要酷一点 |
| [08:29] | You know, like in passing. | 就是要轻描淡写 |
| [08:30] | Sure, sure. Uh, how’s this? | 当然 当然 这样如何 |
| [08:31] | Uh, hey, Chelsea, happy birthday. | 嗨 切尔西 生日快乐 |
| [08:34] | Charlie’s doing fine without you | 查理没有你也过的很好 |
| [08:35] | and never wanders around the house in the middle of the night | 也从来不会拿杯酒 |
| [08:38] | with a drink in his hand. | 在家午夜游荡 |
| [08:39] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [08:40] | Yeah? You need teeth | -怎么 -你说粗麦面包时 |
| [08:42] | to say “pumpernickel.” | 需要牙的 |
| [08:44] | Got it. | 收到 |
| [08:57] | Alan, hi. | 艾伦 嗨 |
| [08:59] | I hope I’m not here early. | 希望我没有早到 |
| [09:00] | The, uh, the invite said 8:00. | 邀请说是八点 |
| [09:02] | And, uh, 8:00 it is. | 现在 就是八点 |
| [09:06] | Come on in. | 进来吧 |
| [09:09] | Who is this? | 这谁啊 |
| [09:11] | That’s how you greet a guest? | 那就是你的待客之道? |
| [09:13] | “Who is this?” | 这谁啊 |
| [09:14] | Okay. Who are you and what the hell | 好吧 你是谁 |
| [09:16] | you doing here so freaking early? | 这么早来干什么的 |
| [09:18] | This is Alan, Charlie’s brother. | 这是艾伦 查理的弟弟 |
| [09:23] | Alan, I’m Ed. | 艾伦 我是埃德 |
| [09:25] | Heard a lot about you. | 久仰大名 |
| [09:26] | Oh, heard a lot about you, too. | 我也是久仰大名 |
| [09:28] | You know, uh, you being in the Navy with Tom and, uh, | 你和汤姆同在海军 |
| [09:31] | you guys keeping in touch, even though you were both married. | 你们一直有联系 即使你们都已婚 |
| [09:35] | And, uh, now you’re reunited. | 然后 现在你们重聚了 |
| [09:38] | Great song. | 好歌 |
| [09:41] | Reunited and feels so good. | 重聚 这感觉真好 |
| [09:47] | So where’s the birthday girl? | 寿星在哪里 |
| [09:49] | Taking a shower. | 她洗澡呢 |
| [09:52] | Women, huh? | 女人就这样 对吧 |
| [09:53] | Always running late. | 总是磨磨蹭蹭的 |
| [09:55] | Bet you don’t miss that. | 但我猜你肯定很享受这过程 |
| [09:58] | I brought the ice. | 我把冰块带过来了 |
| [10:03] | I guess the bottom got wet. You know how that is. | 肯定是下面湿淋淋闹的 你肯定能想到 |
| [10:06] | I mean, because, you know, it happens to everybody, | 我的意思是 因为 这种事很常见 |
| [10:08] | not because you’re gay. | 我的话并不是针对你们是同性恋而说的 |
| [10:10] | And I thought you were exaggerating. | 我当初还以为你说他二 是添油加醋瞎说的 |
| [10:14] | And remember, looky, no touchy. | 记住哦 只准看 不准摸哦 |
| [10:24] | What’s that? | 这是什么 |
| [10:25] | A birthday present for Chelsea. | 切尔西的生日礼物 |
| [10:27] | But you guys broke up. | 但你们都已经分手了 |
| [10:29] | Yeah, well, I bought it a couple of months ago. | 是啊 这份礼物是我几个月前买的 |
| [10:32] | – Why? – ‘Cause I thought that’s when her birthday was. | -为什么 -因为我以为她的生日是那会儿 |
| [10:36] | Turns out, I confused it with St. Patrick’s Day. | 结果我把她生日和圣帕特里克节弄混了[爱尔兰传统节日] |
| [10:40] | Are those real diamonds? | 那是真的钻石吗 |
| [10:42] | Yep. | 当然 |
| [10:43] | Burn. | 真浪费 |
| [10:44] | What? | 什么意思 |
| [10:46] | You could’ve saved a lot of money with Cuban zirconium. | 你要是买古巴人造钻的话 能省一大笔钱呢 |
| [10:52] | Cuban zirconium? | 古巴人造钻? |
| [10:53] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [10:55] | ’cause it’s just as sparkly as a diamond, | 因为那玩意儿跟钻石一样闪 |
| [10:58] | and it’s cheap ’cause it’s from Cuba. | 但由于是古巴产的 所以很便宜 |
| [11:03] | Good Lord, you’re an idiot. | 上帝啊 你果然是个傻瓜 |
| [11:05] | Hey, I’m not the one who wasted a bunch of money | 拜托 又不是我浪费一大笔钱买条手链 |
| [11:07] | on a bralet for a girl who dumped me. | 去送一个抛弃我的女人 |
| [11:09] | It’s not a waste. | 这不算浪费 |
| [11:11] | I’m still going to give it to her. | 我还是会送给她的 |
| [11:14] | In fact… | 说真的 |
| [11:16] | comen, you’re driving me to Chelsea’s. | 走吧 你开车送我去切尔西家 |
| [11:19] | Did it occur to you that I might have plans? | 难道你就没想过我已经有活动了吗 |
| [11:21] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [11:22] | Do you have plans? | 你有活动吗 |
| [11:24] | No, but there’s a principle involved. | 没有 但这还是涉及到原则性问题 |
| [11:28] | I’m just saying, there’s a right way, | 我只是告诉你 什么是对的 |
| [11:29] | and there’s a wrong way. | 什么是错的 |
| [11:36] | You need any condoms? | 你需要买避孕套吗 |
| [11:37] | No. Do you? | 不需要 你呢 |
| [11:39] | No. I got a buttload. | 我也不需要 我有一堆呢 |
| [11:41] | A buttload, huh? | 一堆 真的假的 |
| [11:43] | You may need to read the instructions more carefully. | 或许你应该好好看看说明书[暗讽杰克不懂一次只用一个] |
| [11:46] | I don’t get it. | 我不懂你意思 |
| [11:49] | W-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 |
| [11:51] | Have you used any of them yet? | 你用过你的套套吗 |
| [11:53] | Yeah, sure. | 当然用过 |
| [11:54] | For sex? | 做爱用的? |
| [11:56] | Oh. Um, no. | 呃 不是 |
| [11:58] | For water balloons. | 打水仗用的 |
| [12:00] | Well, keep a few in reserve, | 留点备用吧 |
| [12:03] | ’cause you’re not really breeding stock. | 因为你又不需要传宗接代 |
| [12:06] | So, what are you looking for? | 那你来这买什么 |
| [12:08] | Birthday card for Chelsea. | 切尔西的生日卡 |
| [12:09] | Oh. Good idea. | 好主意 |
| [12:13] | Look at this one. | 看这张 |
| [12:15] | Says, “I got you a birthday package.” | 上面写着 “送你一个生日包裹” |
| [12:16] | And on the inside, it’s a naked fat guy | 里面却是 一个胖子裸男 |
| [12:18] | with a hole for you to pop your finger through. | 大腿之间还有个洞 好让你的手指头能从后面穿过去 |
| [12:20] | Mm, no. | 这个不行 |
| [12:22] | Are you sure? | 你确定? |
| [12:24] | He really likes you. | 可他很喜欢你哦 |
| [12:32] | Here we go. | 这张不错 |
| [12:34] | “Wishing you all the dreams of your heart, | 祝愿你心中所有美梦能成真 |
| [12:37] | “all the love in the world | 在这世上 你是如此特别 |
| [12:38] | “and the beautiful day you deserve | 你值得拥有所有的爱 |
| [12:40] | for being so special.” | 以及美好的生活 |
| [12:41] | That’s not funny. | 一点都不搞笑 |
| [12:43] | Not supposed to be funny. | 没人说要搞笑版的卡片 |
| [12:45] | Yeah, well, mission accomplished. | 好吧 任务完成 |
| [12:50] | Look at this one. | 看这张 |
| [12:51] | It’s an old lady with long banana boobs | 一个老太太 胸部下垂得跟香蕉一样长 |
| [12:53] | and a dog looking at her. | 还有个狗盯着她看 |
| [12:54] | And on the inside, it says, “How many were in your litter?” | 卡面里面写着 “你下崽的时候有多垂?” |
| [12:56] | That’s not a birthday card. | 这算哪门子生日卡 |
| [12:58] | It could be. Write “happy birthday” inside. | 在里面写个”生日快乐”就算了啊 |
| [13:02] | I need a real birthday card. | 我要一张正经的生日卡 |
| [13:04] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:07] | Here’s one with a puppy on it. | 这张卡片上有个小狗 |
| [13:10] | “For someone very special on her birthday. | 献给某位特别的女士 |
| [13:13] | Each day is a beautiful gift to enjoy.” | 每一天都是一份美好的礼物 |
| [13:15] | That’s pretty good. | 这张很不错 |
| [13:17] | Yeah, and then you could cut a hole | 对 然后你可以剪个洞洞 |
| [13:19] | and pop your pinky through and give that dog a bone. | 把你的小指伸进去 给小狗当骨头 |
| [13:25] | I can’t help you if you’re not going to work with me. | 如果你不跟我合作的话 那我可帮不了你 |
| [13:31] | I’m really glad you came, Alan. | 艾伦 很高兴你能来 |
| [13:34] | How could I not? | 我为什么要不来 |
| [13:37] | We’re friends. | 我们是朋友 |
| [13:38] | I know, but I was afraid it might be uncomfortable for you. | 我知道 但我怕你会觉得不舒服 |
| [13:41] | No, no. Don’t be silly. | 不 不会 别傻了 |
| [13:43] | So, uh, that’s it? | 所以 吃的就这些吗 |
| [13:46] | No dinner? Just finger foods? | 没有晚饭? 只有小吃? |
| [13:48] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [13:49] | Oh, no, it’s fine. | 没事 挺好的 |
| [13:51] | I could never have enough prosciutto and melon. | 我最爱吃熏火腿和甜瓜了 |
| [13:53] | Oh. Hey, that’d be a good name for a singing act. | 哇 这能当一部歌剧名字了 |
| [13:56] | Prosciutto and Melon. | 熏火腿与甜瓜 |
| [13:58] | “Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们 先生们 |
| [14:00] | the song stylings of prosciutto and melon.” | 歌曲风格是火腿卷甜瓜 |
| [14:05] | There’s an open mic night at the senior center. | 老人中心有个公开表演之夜 |
| [14:08] | I’m going to use that. | 我要用这个露两手 |
| [14:09] | Terrific. | 棒极了 |
| [14:12] | So, how’s he doing? | 他怎么样 |
| [14:13] | – Who? – Alan. | -谁 -艾伦 |
| [14:15] | Oh, oh, Charlie. | 是说查理啊 |
| [14:17] | Uh, uh, he’s doing fine– just fine. | 他挺好的 挺好 |
| [14:19] | Good, good. | 很好 很好 |
| [14:21] | In fact, he told me to tell you happy birthday. | 他还让我转告一句 生日快乐 |
| [14:24] | Oh, that’s nice. Tell him I said thanks. | 他真有心 帮我说声谢谢 |
| [14:26] | I will. | 我会的 |
| [14:28] | And I’m sure he’d say, “you’re welcome.” | 我肯定他会说 不用谢 |
| [14:34] | So, um, how are you doing? | 那么 你怎么样 |
| [14:36] | And it’s me asking, not Charlie. | 不是查理问的 是我问的 |
| [14:38] | Although I’m sure he’d be interested. | 当然 我肯定他也有兴趣知道 |
| [14:39] | Not that I’d tell him, unless you want me to. | 不是说我会告诉他 除非你想让我说 |
| [14:42] | Do you want me to? Wait. | 你想让我说吗 等等 |
| [14:43] | Tell me how you’re doing first, and then we can decide. | 先告诉我你到底咋样了 咱们再决定说不说 |
| [14:47] | I’m doing fine, Alan. | 我挺好的 艾伦 |
| [14:48] | Good, good. Oh, so is Charlie. | 很好 很好 查理也挺好 |
| [14:51] | Can we change the subject? | 我们能换个话题吗 |
| [14:53] | You’re the one who brought it up, but sure. | 虽说是你起的头 但换个话题当然行 |
| [15:00] | You ever think about your dad and Ed having sex? | 你老爹和爱德上床的情景会出现在你脑海吗 |
| [15:05] | “Happy birthday, thinking of you.” | 生日快乐 想你 |
| [15:09] | What’s wrong with it? | 有什么不妥 |
| [15:11] | It’s, what to you call it, redumbnent. | 这叫啥来着 二傻 |
| [15:13] | Redumbnent? | 二傻 |
| [15:16] | Yeah. You got her a present and you got her a birthday card. | 当然 你又送礼物又送生日卡 |
| [15:19] | You’re obviously thinking of her. | 明摆着是想她 |
| [15:21] | So saying you’re thinking of her is redumbnent. | 再说句”想你” 这还不叫二傻吗 |
| [15:24] | So if you act like a moron, | 这么说 你表现得像傻蛋 |
| [15:26] | saying you’re a moron would be redumbnent. | 再说你自己是傻蛋 这就是二傻 |
| [15:29] | Now you’re getting it. | 你终于开窍了 |
| [15:30] | Oh, buddy, you really shouldn’t be walking around without a helmet. | 小子 你四处乱窜时最好戴个安全帽 |
| [15:35] | Wait here. I’ll be right back. | 车里等着 我马上回来 |
| [15:37] | Why can’t I go with you? | 为啥我不能一起上去 |
| [15:39] | Because I’m just gonna give Chelsea the bracelet and leave. | 因为我把手链给切尔西后就会闪人 |
| [15:41] | Bring me back a piece of cake. | 给我带块蛋糕 |
| [15:43] | Corner with a flower would be nice. | 蛋糕边上有花就更好了 |
| [16:09] | What the hell are you doing? | 你在搞什么鬼 |
| [16:11] | Um… | 这个 |
| [16:13] | Checking for leaks? | 看看有没有破洞 |
| [16:18] | Listen… | 听着 |
| [16:22] | I need you to go up there and give Chelsea the present. | 我要你上去把礼物给切尔西 |
| [16:24] | Why? Did you wuss out? | 为啥 你腿软了吗 |
| [16:26] | No, no, I just don’t want to make a scene. | 不是 我只是不想搞得跟琼瑶剧似的 |
| [16:29] | Here, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss. | 腿软 腿软 脚软 脚软 |
| [16:30] | Wuss, wuss, wuss… | 软了 软了 软了 |
| [16:32] | Wuss… wuss… | 软 软 |
| [16:36] | Just take the bracelet, ring the doorbell, | 拿着手链 按响门铃 |
| [16:38] | say, “Happy birthday, this is from uncle Charlie,” | 说 生日快乐 这是查理伯伯送的 |
| [16:40] | And leave. | 然后闪人 |
| [16:41] | Can I get a piece of cake? | 我能拿块蛋糕吗 |
| [16:43] | Fine, grab a piece of cake. | 好吧 拿块蛋糕 |
| [16:45] | What if they haven’t cut the cake yet? Can I hang out? | 万一还没切蛋糕咋办 我能等会儿么 |
| [16:47] | No. I’m not gonna sit here waiting for you. | 不行 我可不会坐在这里等你 |
| [16:50] | Well, you don’t really have choice. | 那你可没得选择 |
| [16:51] | You’re not allowed to drive. | 你不能开车 |
| [16:53] | What are you saying? | 你什么意思 |
| [16:55] | Well, at the risk of being redumbnent, | 即使有当二傻的风险 |
| [16:57] | I’m saying I’ll be having cake. | 我也要说 我一定把蛋糕拿到手 |
| [17:02] | I can’t believe I’m being blackmailed by Forrest Gump. | 真不敢相信我被阿甘勒索了 |
| [17:05] | Can I tell her you’re waiting out here? | 我能告诉切尔西你等在这里吗 |
| [17:08] | No! Are you nuts? | 不行 你傻的吧 |
| [17:10] | I was just thinking it’d be a good way to get a second piece of cake. | 我只是觉得这是能吃上第二块蛋糕的好办法 |
| [17:13] | Get out of here! | 别烦我了 |
| [17:16] | Run, Forrest, run. | 快跑 阿甘 快跑(《阿甘正传》经典台词) |
| [17:20] | What if I meet a cute girl up there? | 万一我在上边儿碰到个可爱女生咋办 |
| [17:22] | Would you mind walking home? | 你介意走回去吗 |
| [17:24] | Jake, I swear to god, | 杰克 我对天起誓 |
| [17:25] | do not make me get out of this car. | 大爷出了这车有你好看 |
| [17:28] | Excuse me, let’s not forget who’s doing who a favor here. | 抱歉 请你搞清楚到底是谁在帮谁 |
| [17:34] | Go. | 给老子上去 |
| [17:35] | Yes, sir. | 是 先生 |
| [17:41] | Extra large? | 加大号 |
| [17:44] | Yeah, maybe if he wears it as a lucky hat. | 当幸运帽戴差不多吧 |
| [17:50] | So, what about the blonde? | 那个金发妞啥情况 |
| [17:52] | Is she single? | 单身吗 |
| [17:54] | Yeah, but she’s a little crazy. | 是 但她有点疯癫癫的 |
| [17:56] | Mm, not a deal breaker. | 这买卖有希望 |
| [17:57] | The well-adjusted ones generally won’t come near me. | 头脑清楚的一般都排斥我 |
| [18:01] | Hey, dad. | 老爸 |
| [18:03] | What are you doing here? | 你来做什么 |
| [18:05] | Uncle Charlie wanted me to give Chelsea this birthday present. | 查理伯伯让我把生日礼物给切尔西 |
| [18:08] | Here. | 给你 |
| [18:09] | So, have you cut the cake yet? | 切了蛋糕没 |
| [18:11] | Uh, no. | 没有 |
| [18:13] | We haven’t even sung “happy birthday” yet. | 生日歌都还没唱呢 |
| [18:15] | Oh. | 这样啊 |
| [18:16] | Happy birthday to you | 祝你生日快乐 |
| [18:21] | Happy birthday to you | 祝你生日快乐 |
| [18:25] | Happy birthday | 生日快乐 |
| [18:27] | Dear Chelsea | 亲爱的切尔西 |
| [18:31] | Happy birthday to you. | 祝你生日快乐 |
| [18:38] | Thank you. | 谢谢大家 |
| [18:40] | Thank you for coming. | 感谢大家的光临 |
| [18:42] | Excuse me, I need to get some air. | 抱歉 我需要些新鲜空气 |
| [18:46] | Wasn’t me– I always claim ’em, you know that. | 不是我 我向来敢放(屁)敢当 你知道的 |
| [18:50] | Come on, Skipper. | 来吧 斯奇普 |
| [18:54] | So, where’s the cake? | 蛋糕在哪儿 |
| [19:21] | Aw, geez! | 老天爷 |
| [19:41] | Oh, this is not gonna end well. | 肯定不是幸福大结局 |
| [19:50] | Charlie? | 查理 |
| [19:51] | Hey, Chels. | 切尔西 |
| [19:54] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [20:04] | Hey, did I tell you uncle Charlie’s gonna pay me | 我有没告诉你 查理伯伯会付钱给我 |
| [20:06] | to drive him back and forth to work? | 接送他上下班 |
| [20:08] | Oh, that’s nice. | 不错嘛 |
| [20:09] | I’m ready! | 可以出门了 |
| [20:18] | Yeah, I get to drive his car twice a day | 我可以一天开两次他的车 |
| [20:20] | for three to six months, depending on good behavior. | 根据他的行为表现 可以开三到六个月 |
| [20:22] | Move it, numbnuts! | 快走啊 呆瓜 |
| [20:24] | Smart money’s on six. | 钱可得收齐六个月的 |