时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | Gee, that’s too bad, Jake. | 杰克你也太衰了 |
[00:05] | A sore throat and a runny nose? Aw. | 是喉咙疼还是流鼻水 |
[00:08] | Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess you should | 我也觉得 |
[00:10] | stay at your mom’s this weekend. | 你应该在你妈那过周末 |
[00:12] | Oh! Gesundheit. | 祝你健康(德语) |
[00:15] | Yeah. Yeah, feel better. | 好滴好滴 早点好起来 |
[00:17] | Okay, bye-bye. | 再见 |
[00:19] | Jake sick? | 杰克病了吗 |
[00:20] | Nah, he’s lying through his teeth. | 没有 他在那睁眼说瞎话 |
[00:22] | Probably has a party to go to or something. | 八成是要去参加聚会或者别的什么 |
[00:25] | Or a hangover. | 或者是喝高了 |
[00:27] | Remember when he wanted to be around us? | 还记得他黏着我们俩的时候吗 |
[00:29] | Remember when we wanted to be around him? | 还记得我们俩黏着他的时候吗 |
[00:32] | Hey, that’s my son you’re talking about. | 这个他可是我的儿子哦 |
[00:35] | But point taken. | 但是心领神会了 |
[00:36] | So, you’re a free man for the weekend. | 看来这周末你自由了 |
[00:39] | What are your plans? | 打算干点啥 |
[00:40] | I don’t know. Probably just catch up on my reading, | 不晓得 继续看我的书吧 |
[00:42] | take a walk on the beach, | 沙滩上散散步 |
[00:44] | you know, a little “me” time. | 过过只有我的日子 |
[00:45] | What about you? | 你打算干吗 |
[00:46] | Pretty much the same. | 和你的雷同 |
[00:48] | Except instead of reading and walking, | 不过我不打算读书和散步 |
[00:49] | I’m going on a date and hoping to get laid. | 我要出去约会 最好能翻云覆雨 |
[00:52] | Now, when you say “date,” | 你说的约会 |
[00:55] | do you mean an actual date, or one of your | 是指正经的约会 |
[00:57] | $2,500 “date experiences.” | 还是要花2500块的那种”约会体验” |
[00:59] | If I were paying $2,500, | 如果要老子出2500块 |
[01:01] | I wouldn’t just be hoping to get laid. Hmm! | 那就是肯定要翻云覆雨了 |
[01:04] | So. You’re back in the dating game. | 那看来你又重返战场了 |
[01:08] | How’d you hook up? | 掉上哪家的姑娘了 |
[01:09] | Was it a “meet cute”? | 第一次见面浪漫不 |
[01:10] | Meet… cute? | 啥浪漫啊 |
[01:12] | You know, like, uh, like in the movies. | 就像电影里演的呗 |
[01:14] | She’s carrying groceries, and you bump into her | 她买了一大堆东西 你撞了她 |
[01:16] | and she spills them and you try to help her | 东西撒了一地 你帮她捡起来 |
[01:18] | pick ’em back up, and you bonk heads, and she’s concerned | 然后你们的头撞到一起 |
[01:20] | she might have a concussion, so you tell her you’re a doctor, | 她好担心自己被撞出脑震荡 你就说你是医生 |
[01:23] | and you keep up the ruse until after she’s fallen in love | 接下来一直瞒着她 |
[01:26] | with you, at which point you confess | 直到她彻底爱上你 |
[01:27] | that you’re not the man she thought you were, | 你才坦白你不是医生 |
[01:29] | and she’s furious and never wants to talk to you, | 她愤怒了说再也不想见你 |
[01:31] | but you go to her place of work, | 你就到她上班的地方 |
[01:33] | and you make a complete fool of yourself | 在一个重要的商业会议上 |
[01:35] | by declaring your undying love for her | 傻乎乎的表白 |
[01:36] | during an important business meeting. | 你对她深深的爱恋 |
[01:38] | Thankfully, the meeting is with Japanese bankers | 谢天谢地 开会的一帮日本的银行家 |
[01:41] | who find you charming. | 他们都觉得你很有魅力 |
[01:43] | And they give her the big account, | 于是在你一把抱住她 |
[01:44] | after which you scoop her into your arms | 向她求婚之后 |
[01:46] | and ask her to marry you, and you live happily ever after. | 就跟她做了一笔大生意 然后你们幸福的生活在一起 |
[01:52] | In Portland. | 住在波兰 |
[01:56] | Um… no. | 你猜错了 |
[02:00] | She’s a dermatologist | 她是个皮肤科医生 |
[02:01] | who scooped a precancerous mole off my ass. | 帮我把屁股上的疑似癌症前期的痣搞掉了 |
[02:03] | Oh, well, that’s cute, too. | 那啥 这也挺可爱的 |
[02:07] | So, uh, what’s her name? How old is she? | 她叫什么名字 多大了 |
[02:09] | Uh, her name’s Michelle, and I’m guessing mid-’30s. | 她叫米雪 30多岁吧 |
[02:11] | Ooh! Almost age-appropriate. | 年纪相当啊 |
[02:13] | Oh, say, if I took a picture of a strange wart on my toe, | 要是我拍一张我脚上长的一个不知名的疣 |
[02:17] | would you show it to her and ask if it’s normal? | 你会拿给她看看是不是正常吗 |
[02:20] | Sure, I’ll pull it out over dinner. | 行啊 我跟她共享晚餐的时候拿给她看 |
[02:23] | Come on! She’s a dermatologist, | 拜托 她可是个皮肤科医生 |
[02:25] | and I have a hideous growth on my foot. | 我脚上长了个恶心的东西 |
[02:27] | The hideous growth on your foot is you. | 那个恶心的东西就是你 |
[02:32] | You know what, I’ll email you a jpeg. | 好吧我发一张图片到你信箱 |
[02:35] | You’ll know when the moment is right. | 时机合适你就拿给她看吧 |
[03:08] | Hey, Alan. | 嗨 艾伦 |
[03:09] | Listen– Hey, hey, hey, hey! | 表进来 表进来啊 |
[03:15] | What are you doing? | 你到底干啥呢 |
[03:17] | Nothing. | 没啥 |
[03:19] | Right. Having a little “me” time. | 对了 过过只有你自己的时光 |
[03:22] | Wasn’t little until you came in. | 你进来前刚进入佳境 |
[03:27] | What do you want? | 你要干啥 |
[03:29] | In case I get lucky and this girl comes back here tonight, | 我是怕万一搞定了我的妞 |
[03:31] | I need you to make yourself scarce. | 把她带回家 那你就要消失 |
[03:32] | No problem. | 没问题 |
[03:34] | I don’t want to see you or your wart. | 你和你的疣都给我消失 |
[03:35] | Got it. | 了解 |
[03:37] | Good. | 这还差不多 |
[03:40] | Oh! Try MalibuPuddingGirls.com. | 上马里布布丁女孩.com |
[03:42] | Pudding girls? | 布丁女孩 |
[03:43] | Trust me. | 信我的没错的 |
[03:47] | Malibu… | 马里布 |
[03:49] | pudding girls… | 布丁女孩 |
[03:51] | com com. | |
[03:53] | Oh! Yikes. | 哎呦 恶心哦 |
[03:58] | Right here? | 坐这吧 |
[03:59] | That’s great. | 好的 |
[04:05] | How’s your tush? | 你的屁屁咋样了 |
[04:07] | Fine. How are your boobs? | 不错 你的胸胸呢 |
[04:10] | I meant, how is it feeling since I took the mole off? | 我是说去掉痣之后你的屁屁还好吧 |
[04:13] | Oh! A little tender, but still functional. | 有一点敏感但是还好 |
[04:15] | That’s good. | 那就好 |
[04:16] | It’s not fair, though. | 我觉得太不公平了 |
[04:17] | What? | 哪里不公平了 |
[04:19] | Well, you’ve seen mine and I haven’t seen yours. | 你看了人家的 人家还没看你的呢 |
[04:21] | That’s true, isn’t it? | 还真的哦 |
[04:22] | We’re going to have to figure out a way for you to get even. | 我们要想个办法解决这个问题 |
[04:24] | Okay, show me your ass. | 给人家看你的屁屁就好了 |
[04:27] | You’re terrible! | 你这个坏蛋 |
[04:30] | How are you at those trivia questions? | 这些问答题你在行吗 |
[04:34] | Well, let’s see. | 我瞅瞅 |
[04:36] | “Which TV shows jump-started | 哪部连续剧 |
[04:38] | these movie stars’ film careers”” | 捧红了这些电影演员 |
[04:40] | Okay. | 瞅瞅 |
[04:41] | George Clooney–ER | 乔治.克鲁尼 急诊室的故事 |
[04:44] | Nice. | 不错 |
[04:46] | Leonardo DiCaprio– Growing Pains. | 莱昂纳多.迪卡皮里奥 成长的烦恼 |
[04:49] | Oh, I didn’t know that. | 这个我不晓得 |
[04:50] | Oh, yeah. The last season. | 他演了最后一季 |
[04:54] | John Travolta. | 约翰·特拉沃尔塔 |
[04:57] | Welcome Back, Kotter. | 欢迎归来 科特 |
[04:58] | Oh. Good memory. | 记性真好 |
[05:00] | How could I forget? | 我怎么忘得了 |
[05:01] | It was my favorite show in high school. | 那是我上高中时最喜欢的剧集 |
[05:03] | You mean it was your favorite show | 你的意思是你上高中时的 |
[05:06] | set in high school, right? | 重播剧集中你最喜欢的 |
[05:08] | Oh, no, no. | 不是的 |
[05:09] | In tenth grade I had a giant crush on Travolta. | 十年级的时候我超迷约翰·特拉沃尔塔的 |
[05:12] | But… wasn’t that show on in like the ’70s? | 那部剧集不是70年代的吗 |
[05:15] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[05:17] | So… you were in high school in the ’70’s? | 所以你七零年代的时候就在读高中了吗 |
[05:21] | Uh-huh. | 是的 |
[05:23] | Were you like, really, really smart | 你当时是 超级 超级聪明 |
[05:25] | and skipped a bunch of grades? | 然后跳了很多级吗 |
[05:27] | Uh-uh. | 没 |
[05:31] | I’m 47, Charlie. | 我四十七岁了 查理 |
[05:33] | Oh, okay. I wasn’t even thinking about that. | 好吧 我刚才压根就没在想那件事 |
[05:37] | Really. What were you thinking about? | 是吗 那你刚才在想什么 |
[05:39] | Uh… You know, the whole Scientology thing | 就是 科学基督教派的东西 |
[05:43] | with Travolta and Cruise. What’s that all about? | 像是屈伏塔跟克鲁斯 那到底是干嘛的 |
[05:46] | How old are you? You know how old I am. | -你几岁呢 -你知道我几岁的 |
[05:48] | I filled it out on my medical form. | 我在我的医疗单上填了 |
[05:50] | Oh, you are not 36, Charlie. | 你才不是三十六岁呢 查理 |
[05:52] | Even your mole was older than that. | 就连你的痣岁数都不只那么大 |
[05:54] | Did I write 36? | 我写了三十六岁吗 |
[05:56] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[05:57] | I meant 40… | 我本来是要写四十 |
[05:58] | two. | 二 |
[06:02] | Three. | 三 |
[06:04] | So I’m out with a younger man. | 这么说我在跟一棵嫩草约会 |
[06:08] | Sexy. | 刺激 |
[06:11] | Yeah. Cool. | 是啊 棒极了 |
[06:16] | Do you want to come in for some coffee? | 你要进来喝杯咖啡吗 |
[06:18] | Oh, gee, I’d love to, but, um… | 我十分乐意 但是呢 |
[06:21] | But what? | 但是什么 |
[06:23] | Well, this isn’t something I normally say on a first date, | 我通常第一次约会时不会说这个 |
[06:26] | but my left ass cheek is throbbing. | 但是我的左半边屁股在隐隐作痛 |
[06:28] | Oh, you poor baby. Do you want me to take a look at it? | 你个可怜的小家伙 要不要我帮你看看 |
[06:32] | No, no, that’d just be a pity peek. | 不必不必 那样只会变同情的瞄两眼而已 |
[06:34] | I’m-I’m-I’m sure it’s fine. | 我 我 我真的没事的 |
[06:37] | But I– I should go. | 但我 我真的得走了 |
[06:39] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[06:41] | Well, I suppose you’ll call me, | 要是你还有兴趣改天聚聚的话 |
[06:43] | if you want to get together again. | 你会再联系我的吧 |
[06:44] | Absolutely, I will. | 一定一定 我会的 |
[06:46] | Good night. | 晚安 |
[06:47] | Good night. | 晚安 |
[06:50] | You’ve got my number, right? | 你有我的号码对吧 |
[06:52] | Indeed, I do. | 当然 我有的 |
[06:58] | Forty-seven. | 四十七 |
[07:04] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! | 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 喂喂喂 |
[07:08] | Oh, Alan, again? | 艾伦 你还来 |
[07:11] | I-It’s not what it looks like. | 事情不是表面上这样的 |
[07:13] | Hey, I get it. | 我明白的 |
[07:14] | You’re bored. You’re lonely. You can’t afford a hooker. | 你很无聊 你很寂寞 你也嫖不起妓 |
[07:17] | But come on, keep it in your room! | 但是拜托你了 你回你房间打去 |
[07:19] | Okay, i-in my defense, I wasn’t expecting you home till later. | 好吧 作为辩解 我没想过你会这么早回来 |
[07:22] | Plus, it felt a little naughtier out here. | 还有 在这感觉比较刺激 |
[07:24] | You know, in public. | 在公共场合 |
[07:26] | You want naughty? | 你想要刺激点吗 |
[07:27] | Go yank it on the pitcher’s mound at Dodger Stadium. | 那你去道奇队球场的投手丘上打你的飞机吧 |
[07:30] | Ooh, clever. | 好主意 |
[07:31] | Seventh-inning stretch. | 七局半伸展时间 |
[07:35] | You realize I now have to burn the couch. | 因为你 我现在得烧了那沙发 |
[07:38] | Well, if you’re going to do that, | 你如果真要那么做的话 |
[07:40] | you might want to burn the deck chair, too. | 你可能需要把你的露台躺椅也烧了 |
[07:42] | Oh, God, Alan. | 天啊 艾伦 |
[07:44] | So how was your evening? | 你今晚怎么样了 |
[07:45] | Fine. | 还行 |
[07:47] | I thought you were planning on bringing her back here. | 我还以为你打算把她带回家 |
[07:49] | And yet you were twanging your magic clanger | 那你还在客厅大喇喇的 |
[07:52] | right in the middle of the living room. | 玩弄你的魔术棒子 |
[07:54] | I lost track of time. Sue me. | 我是没掌握好时间 告我啊 |
[07:57] | So, uh, what went wrong with your date? | 所以你的约会出了什么差错啊 |
[07:59] | Nothing went wrong. | 没出什么差错 |
[08:00] | She’s terrific. She’s beautiful. She’s smart. | 她人很好外表美丽又聪明伶俐 |
[08:04] | But…? | 不过 |
[08:05] | She’s 47. | 她四十七岁 |
[08:07] | You said she was in her mid-’30s. | 你不是说她三十五岁左右吗 |
[08:10] | That’s what I thought. | 我本来是这么想的 |
[08:11] | Apparently, dermatologists | 显然 皮肤科医生 |
[08:12] | know how to take really good care of their skin. | 很懂得怎么照顾她们的皮肤 |
[08:17] | Or she’s a witch. | 或者 她是个巫婆 |
[08:19] | I don’t understand. You liked her when you thought she was 35. | 我不懂 你以为她是三十五岁时 你是喜欢她的 |
[08:21] | What changed? | 什么东西不一样了 |
[08:23] | I found out she’s 47. | 我发现她其实是四十七岁 |
[08:26] | Oh, come on. 47’s just a number. | 拜托哦 四十七只是个数字罢了 |
[08:28] | A big number. | 一个大数字 |
[08:29] | A scary number. | 可怕的数字 |
[08:31] | Are you really that superficial, vain, and shallow? | 你真的这么轻率重外表又肤浅吗 |
[08:34] | Yes, yes, and yes. | 没错 是的 对的 |
[08:37] | Probably the deepest thing about me is a little pit on my ass | 我最不浅的部分大概就是我屁股上的小洞吧 |
[08:40] | where a mole used to be. | 就是当年那颗痣存在的位置 |
[08:41] | But fish can swim in shallow water. | 但是鱼能在浅水游 |
[08:44] | What the hell’s that supposed to mean? | 那是什么狗屁不通的玩意 |
[08:46] | I don’t know, I’m a little dehydrated. | 我也不知道 我有点脱水 |
[08:50] | What I’m trying to say | 我想说的是 |
[08:51] | is that it’s silly to throw away a promising relationship | 抛弃这么一个有良好发展可能的感情 |
[08:54] | based on an arbitrary number. | 就为了一个假设性的数字 是很愚蠢的事 |
[08:55] | It’s not arbitrary. She’s really 47. | 不是假设性的 她真的四十七岁 |
[09:00] | 47! That’s like ten years older than me. | 四十七岁 比我老了十岁左右 |
[09:03] | Why do you do that? | 你这是何苦呢 |
[09:07] | I’m your brother. | 我是你哥哥 |
[09:09] | I know exactly how old you are. | 我知道你的真实年龄 |
[09:11] | The point is, the minute I found out she was older than me, | 重点是 从我发现她比我老的那一刻起 |
[09:14] | I started looking at her in a whole different way. | 我开始用完全不一样的眼光来看她 |
[09:16] | And what way is that? | 怎么看 |
[09:18] | Like, she’s a women who when I’m 52, she will be 60. | 就是当我五十二岁时 她会是六十岁的女人 |
[09:22] | You’ll be 56. | 你会是五十六岁 |
[09:25] | What are you, the math police? | 你是谁啊 数学警察吗 |
[09:28] | You know what this is really about, don’t you? | 你知道这其实是怎么一回事 对吧 |
[09:30] | Yeah. When I’m 58, she’ll be 70! | 是啊 当我五十八岁时 她就七十了 |
[09:34] | You’re really going to keep doing this? | 你真的要继续这么装吗 |
[09:35] | I can’t help myself. | 我克制不住 |
[09:37] | Look at it this way, | 换个角度来看吧 |
[09:39] | when she’s 70, you’re likely to have been dead for ten years. | 当她七十岁时 你差不多已经死了十年了 |
[09:42] | Actually, that does make me feel a little better. | 事实上 那还真让我感觉好了一点 |
[09:47] | I’ll tell you one thing, Charlie. | 我告诉你件事 查理 |
[09:48] | I would give anything to find someone I enjoy being with, | 我愿意放弃所有 只为寻一位与我年龄相当 |
[09:52] | who’s close to my own age, | 并能愉快相处 |
[09:53] | and who I can really connect with. | 而且是个能与我心灵相通的伴侣 |
[09:55] | Look no further, Alan. | 艾伦 众里寻他千百度 |
[09:58] | You’ve found her. | 那人却只在灯火阑珊处 |
[10:07] | You do get me, don’t you? | 你真的懂我 对吧 |
[10:11] | I gotta be honest with you. | 我必须得老实跟你承认 |
[10:13] | I didn’t think I was ever going to hear from you again. | 我还以为你不会再联络我了 |
[10:16] | Why would you think that? | 你怎么会这么说呢 |
[10:17] | I don’t know– the age thing. | 可能是因为那年龄的事吧 |
[10:19] | Oh, come on. It’s just a number. | 别这样想 那只是个数字 |
[10:22] | I like you. | 我喜欢的是你 |
[10:23] | I’m attracted to you. | 我被你所吸引 |
[10:25] | Plus, there’s no way anybody looks at you and thinks, | 而且 世上也不会有人看到你然后觉得 |
[10:27] | “This is a 47-year-old woman” | “这女人四十七岁了” |
[10:28] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[10:30] | Hey, we’re only as old as we feel, right? | 心理年龄决定了我们的真实年龄对吧 |
[10:32] | Right. | 没错 |
[10:33] | So I say, for all intents and purposes, you and I? | 所以说 无论从哪点来看 你跟我 |
[10:37] | Couple of 35-year-olds. | 咱俩最多三十五岁 |
[10:38] | Agreed. 35. | 同意 敬三十五岁 |
[10:42] | Hi, Mom. | 妈 |
[10:48] | That’s my daughter. | 那是我女儿 |
[10:49] | For all intents and purposes, she’s eight. | 无论从哪方面看 她都只有八岁 |
[10:59] | Shauna, this is Charlie. | 莎娜 这是查理 |
[11:01] | Yeah, hey. Sorry to interrupt. | 不好意思打扰你们了 |
[11:02] | I just came to pick up my snowboard stuff. | 我只是来拿我的滑雪板的 |
[11:04] | Why? | 拿它干吗 |
[11:05] | What do you mean, why? | 什么叫拿它干吗 |
[11:06] | I’m going to Mammoth for a few days. | 我要去长毛象山[滑雪胜地]玩几天 |
[11:07] | With who? | 跟谁去 |
[11:08] | What do you care? | 你问来干吗 |
[11:09] | I’m your mother. | 我是你妈 |
[11:11] | Should I go? | 我是不是该走了 |
[11:12] | No, no, it’s fine. | 不 不用 没事的 |
[11:13] | Who are you going with? | 你跟谁去 |
[11:14] | His name’s Jeremy. | 他叫杰瑞米 |
[11:15] | You happy? | 开心了吗 |
[11:16] | Jeremy? What happened to Sarah? | 杰瑞米 那莎拉呢 |
[11:18] | Sarah and I broke up. | 我跟莎拉分手了 |
[11:21] | Sarah | 莎拉 |
[11:21] | When were you gonna tell me this? | 你打算什么时候才告诉我 |
[11:23] | Mom, I’m 20 years old, | 妈 我都二十岁了 |
[11:25] | my personal life is none of your business. | 我的私生活跟你无关 |
[11:26] | 20. | 二十岁了 |
[11:29] | As long as you’re my daughter, it’s my business. | 只要你还是我女儿 就跟我有关 |
[11:31] | Tell me about Jeremy. | 跟我说说杰瑞米吧 |
[11:32] | What’s to tell? | 有什么好说的 |
[11:33] | He’s a nice guy. | 他是个好人 |
[11:35] | He’s Sarah’s roommate. | 他是莎拉的室友 |
[11:36] | Wait a minute. | 等会 |
[11:37] | You broke up with Sarah | 你跟莎拉分手 |
[11:38] | so you could hook up with her roommate? | 就是为了跟她的室友搞在一起吗 |
[11:40] | No, no. | 不 不是的 |
[11:41] | We were all hooking up together, | 本来是我们三个人搞在一起的 |
[11:42] | but then Sarah got all weird | 结果莎拉突然就崩溃了 |
[11:44] | even though it was her idea. | 这一开始还是她的主意呢 |
[11:46] | Don’t you just hate that? | 还真是叫人郁闷呀 |
[11:52] | Are you telling me that the three of you had sex together? | 你是说你们三个人一块上床吗 |
[11:55] | Hey, you’re the one who said | 是你说我应该 |
[11:56] | I should explore all my options in life. | 多体验一下多彩人生的 |
[11:58] | I was talking about grad school, not threesomes! | 我指的是读研究生 不是玩三人行 |
[12:01] | I’m so sorry you have to hear this. | 真对不起要你听这些事 |
[12:03] | No, no, no, it’s fine. | 不 不 不 没事的 |
[12:04] | Pretend I’m not here. | 假装我不在就好了 |
[12:08] | I also need to borrow some money. | 你还要借我点钱 |
[12:10] | Shauna, how do you expect to pay me back? | 莎娜 你准备怎么还钱给我 |
[12:11] | I still have a job. | 我有工作的 |
[12:12] | A webcam in your bathroom | 在浴室装个摄像头 |
[12:14] | and a PayPal account is not a job! | 然后再开个支付宝账户 这不叫工作 |
[12:18] | I admit, it’s not making much money. | 我承认这工作赚的不多 |
[12:20] | But that’s because there’s so much free porn out there! | 那是因为现在有太多免费色情片可以看了 |
[12:23] | She’s got a point. | 她说的有道理 |
[12:25] | The whole pay-to-peek industry is dying. | 这个给钱才给看的行业已经没落了 |
[12:27] | – Thank you. – You’re welcome. | -谢谢支持 -不用客气 |
[12:29] | And if I could just throw in my two cents here. | 要是我可以发表几句感想的话 |
[12:32] | Michelle, your daughter’s at that time | Michelle 你女儿正处于人生中 |
[12:34] | in her life where she’s got to make her own choices, | 需要自己做决定的阶段 |
[12:36] | and it doesn’t matter if they’re right or wrong. | 不管她的决定是否正确 |
[12:38] | Either way, she learns. | 她都会从中学到东西 |
[12:39] | But I’m just trying to protect her. | 但是我只是想保护她 |
[12:41] | You can’t protect her. | 你保护不了她的 |
[12:43] | All you can do is love her | 你能做的就是爱她 |
[12:45] | and be there for her no matter what. | 并且无条件地支持她 |
[12:46] | I am there for her. | 我是支持她的 |
[12:48] | You know that, right? | 你知道的 对吧 |
[12:49] | Yeah, I do. | 我知道 |
[12:51] | Come here. | 过来 |
[12:59] | What? | 怎么了 |
[13:00] | I should go. | 我该走了 |
[13:01] | Oh, no, no, it’s okay. | 不 不 不 没事的 |
[13:02] | Really, I got to go. | 不 我真的该走了 |
[13:04] | And you should have this time with your daughter. | 你也应该跟你女儿好好聚聚 |
[13:05] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
[13:06] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
[13:07] | I’ll call you tomorrow. Nice to meet you, Shauna. | 我明天打电话给你 很高兴认识你莎娜 |
[13:09] | Nice to meet you, too. | 我也很高兴认识你 |
[13:13] | It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s so wrong. | 这是不对的 不对的 大错特错 |
[13:16] | Oh, what the hell? | 管它的呢 |
[13:19] | Let’s try ShaunaShower.com. | 试试莎娜冲凉网 |
[13:54] | Oh, for God’s sake! Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa! | 偶滴神啊 嘿嘿 哇哇 |
[13:59] | It’s not what it looks like! | 不是你看到的那样的 |
[14:01] | Well, that’s a relief. | 是嘛 还真是松了一口气呀 |
[14:02] | ‘Cause it looks like you were masturbating | 因为看起来你正随着你车里放的 |
[14:04] | to mariachi music in your car. | 墨西哥流浪音乐打飞机呢 |
[14:05] | What do you want? | 那你想怎样 |
[14:06] | I only get AM radio! | 我车里只有AM广播 |
[14:12] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
[14:13] | In here. | 在这 |
[14:16] | Is it safe? | 你有穿裤子吗 |
[14:18] | Yes. | 穿着呢 |
[14:30] | We cool here? | 这里可以坐吧 |
[14:33] | Yes. | 可以 |
[14:36] | Relax. | 放心吧 |
[14:39] | You do realize you have a serious problem. | 你知道你的问题很严重吧 |
[14:42] | It’s not my fault. | 那不是我的错 |
[14:43] | Really? | 是吗 |
[14:44] | Whose fault is it? | 那是谁的错 |
[14:45] | Big Pharma. | 都是大药惹的祸 |
[14:48] | Who the hell’s big pharma? | 大药是谁 |
[14:50] | You know, the pharmaceutical companies | 就是那些制造出 |
[14:51] | that make boner pills that last 36 hours. | 可以维持三十六小时的壮阳药的制药厂 |
[14:55] | You took a boner pill? | 你吃了伟哥 |
[14:57] | I had to. The pills were about to expire. | 不吃不行了 就快过期了 |
[14:59] | But you didn’t have a woman. | 但是你没女人啊 |
[15:02] | Hence the constant masturbation. | 所以才一直靠自己呀 |
[15:04] | You know how expensive those things are. | 你知道那些伟哥多贵的啦 |
[15:06] | I’m simply trying to get my money’s worth. | 我只是不想白白浪费我的钱而已 |
[15:09] | So this non-stop whack-a-thon is just ’cause you’re cheap? | 所以你这无间断马拉松式的自爽就是因为你太小气? |
[15:14] | And horny. | 还有饥渴 |
[15:16] | And nuts. | 还有白痴 |
[15:18] | Semantics. | 差不多是这个意思 |
[15:19] | Why the car? | 那为什么要选在车里 |
[15:22] | You said “not in the living room.” | 你说不能在客厅里的 |
[15:24] | Did I say “in the car”? | 那我说要在车里了吗 |
[15:27] | Well, I didn’t plan it. | 我又不是故意的 |
[15:28] | I was gonna go to the movies and I got distracted. | 我本来是要去看电影的 结果分神了 |
[15:31] | What could possibly distract you | 你把车开出车库这段路上 |
[15:33] | from driving out of the garage? | 有什么好分神的 |
[15:34] | Think about it. | 你好好想想 |
[15:35] | Slipping the key into the hole. | 把钥匙插进洞里 |
[15:39] | Gently turning it. | 轻轻地转动 |
[15:42] | Pumping the gas until the engine starts purring. | 然后加油 直到引擎发出呻吟 |
[15:46] | I’m thinking about it and I’m still going with nuts. | 我想了一下 还是觉得你是个白痴 |
[15:50] | Well, unlike you, I did not have female companionship tonight. | 不像你 我今晚没女人陪 |
[15:54] | Well, as it turns out, neither did I. | 事实证明 哥也没有 |
[15:55] | What happened? | 发生什么事了吗 |
[15:56] | You really expect me to share my personal problems | 你真的希望我跟一个会自慰的动物园猴子 |
[16:00] | with a self-abusing zoo monkey? | 分享我的个人情感问题吗 |
[16:04] | Who else you got? | 舍我其谁 |
[16:09] | All right, here’s the deal. | 好吧 事情是这样的 |
[16:10] | I went back to Michelle, | 我回去找米歇尔 |
[16:11] | determined to take the whole age thing off the table. | 决定不再纠结于年龄这个问题 |
[16:13] | Good for you. Very mature. | 很好 很成熟 |
[16:15] | And it was going great, until her daughter walks in. | 在她女儿进来之前 一切进展顺利 |
[16:17] | She has a daughter? | 她还有个女儿了 |
[16:18] | Not just a daughter, Alan. | 不是说有个女儿这么简单 艾伦 |
[16:21] | A 20-year-old daughter. | 一个20岁水灵灵的嫩姑娘 |
[16:23] | A gorgeous daughter. | 一个秀色可餐的美人 |
[16:24] | A bisexual daughter. | 一个男女通吃的浪荡女 |
[16:27] | Summing up: | 总的来说 |
[16:28] | a 20-year-old, gorgeous, bisexual daughter. | 她有一个20岁 男女通吃的漂亮女儿 |
[16:30] | Got it. | 我懂 |
[16:31] | What did you do? | 那你怎么做 |
[16:33] | What could I do? I got the hell out of there. | 还有毛搞头 老子立马闪人了 |
[16:34] | Why? | 为什么 |
[16:35] | What do you mean, why? | 什么为什么 |
[16:36] | You know me. | 你又不是不了解我 |
[16:38] | If I continue a relationship with Michelle, | 如果我继续跟妈妈谈恋爱 |
[16:39] | at some point, I’m gonna try to nail her daughter. | 在某种程度上说 我肯定会试着搞她女儿的 |
[16:43] | Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, | 或许不是今天 也不是明天 |
[16:46] | but as sure as your speedometer could use a Handi Wipe, | 只要你的车速表 还没彻底被你精液玷污得不能要 |
[16:49] | it will happen. | 这事就绝对会发生 |
[16:52] | So you’re breaking up with Michelle? | 所以你要和米歇尔分手 |
[16:54] | I have to! | 那是必须的 |
[16:55] | And then you’re gonna hit on the daughter. | 然后转身去追她的女儿吗 |
[16:57] | No, no, no, no. | 不 当然不是 |
[16:58] | I’m getting away from both of them. | 两个我都不要 |
[17:00] | I figure it’s better to hurt Michelle | 我觉得早点儿跟米歇尔讲清楚比较好 |
[17:01] | a little now than a lot later. | 长痛不如短痛 |
[17:04] | Well, color me impressed. | 让我不禁肃然起敬 |
[17:07] | You’re making a decision that’s considerate and selfless. | 你的决定 真是既体贴又无私 |
[17:10] | Putting aside, of course, the fact that | 当然 得先撇开一个事实 |
[17:12] | the motivation for the decision is sordid and despicable. | 就是你做这个决定的动机 肮脏又卑劣 |
[17:15] | Thank you. | 谢谢夸奖 |
[17:18] | Seriously though, the daughter is unbelievable. | 说真的 那个女儿真是个尤物 |
[17:21] | She actually has some kind of porn site on the Internet. | 其实她还有一个诸如色情网站之类的主页 |
[17:23] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[17:28] | Apparently, there’s a webcam in her bathroom. | 显然 她的浴室装有摄像头 |
[17:32] | Can you imagine? | 你能想象那副画面吗 |
[17:33] | A 20-year-old co-ed in the shower with her girlfriend, | 两个20岁娇嫩欲滴的女学生 一起共浴 |
[17:36] | soaping each other up? | 一点一点帮对方 往身上擦香皂 |
[17:44] | Something to ponder. | 这个值得再三思量 |
[17:47] | Excuse me. | 失陪一下 |
[18:09] | Actually, not a bad idea. | 其实 小来一手也不错 |
[18:17] | Hey, hey, hey, hey! | 喂 喂 喂 喂 |
[18:18] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! | 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 |
[18:19] | Aw, geez, Zippy! | 老天 你个怪胎 |
[18:21] | What are you doing with the pudding? | 没事插布丁干嘛 |
[18:26] | Well, I guess I appreciate your honesty. | 感谢你的坦诚相告 |
[18:28] | I just think it wouldn’t be fair to start a relationship with you | 我只是觉得 在我还没能忘掉切尔西之前 |
[18:32] | knowing I’m still not over Chelsea. | 就跟你在一起 这样对你不公平 |
[18:35] | No, it’s understandable. | 不 可以理解 |
[18:36] | She was your fiance. | 毕竟她曾是你的未婚妻 |
[18:38] | I’ve tried to stop thinking about her, and I can’t. | 我试着不再去想她 但我做不到 |
[18:41] | And I like you too much to risk our relationship | 而且我太喜欢你了 不想冒险 |
[18:44] | being some kind of a rebound thing. | 拿这段感情来疗伤 |
[18:45] | All right. | 我明白 |
[18:47] | I guess I just have to accept that. | 我想我只能接受你的决定 |
[18:49] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[18:53] | Bye. | 再见 |
[18:54] | Bye. | 再见 |
[18:56] | You know what, Jeremy? | 知道吗 杰瑞米 |
[18:57] | Just go to hell. | 去死吧 |
[18:58] | You’re a childish jerk. | 你个幼稚的混蛋 |
[19:00] | Oh, hey. | 嗨 |
[19:02] | You okay? | 你没事吧 |
[19:04] | I guess. | 或许吧 |
[19:05] | Just thought this guy was something he’s not. | 没长眼 挑错男人了 |
[19:08] | Well, he’s young, | 他还年轻 |
[19:09] | and, you know, women mature faster than boys. | 而且你知道吗 女生比男生早熟 |
[19:12] | That is so true. | 这句话太对了 |
[19:14] | Have you considered dating someone a little older? | 你考虑过跟年纪大点的人约会吗 |
[19:18] | I tried that once; it was disgusting. | 我试过一次 恶心坏我了 |
[19:22] | Really? | 真的假的 |
[19:24] | The guy was almost 35. | 那个男人大概35岁吧 |
[19:26] | It was like sleeping with my grandfather. | 感觉就像跟我爷爷上床一样 |
[19:30] | No kidding. | 不会吧 |
[19:31] | He could only do it twice in a row | 他要在中间小睡一会儿 |
[19:33] | before he needed to take a nap. | 才能连续来两次 |
[19:37] | Excuse me. | 失陪一下 |
[19:40] | Hey, Michelle, good news! | 米歇尔 好消息 |
[19:41] | I think I’m over Chelsea! | 我觉得我已经彻底忘掉切尔西了 |
[19:53] | Hey, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa! | 喂 喂 喂 哇哦 哇哦 |
[19:55] | It’s not what it looks like! | 不是你想的那样 |
[20:01] | So… you feel like going again? | 还想再来一次吗 |
[20:03] | Uh, sure. | 当然 |
[20:05] | I just need, you know, a little nap first. | 我得 先小睡一会儿 |
[20:08] | Geez, Charlie, what are you gonna be like | 天啊 查理 等你到了我年纪 |
[20:10] | when you’re my age? | 你会变啥样 |
[20:11] | Ooh, ouch. | 说到痛处了 |
[20:13] | I’m kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
[20:15] | Come here. | 来 亲一个 |
[20:19] | Hang on. | 等会儿 |
[20:23] | What do you want, Alan? | 你想干嘛 艾伦 |
[20:27] | Arrested? | 被逮捕 |
[20:28] | For what? | 为什么 |
[20:29] | Oh, Alan. | 艾伦呀艾伦 |
[20:32] | What was the movie? | 那部电影好看吗 |
[20:34] | You’re right, doesn’t matter. | 你说得对 已经不重要了 |
[20:36] | Okay, I’m on my way. | 好吧 我马上过去 |
[20:37] | Where you going? | 你要去哪里 |
[20:39] | Nowhere. | 哪儿也不去 |