| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | So, I’m confused. | 我就搞不懂了 |
| [00:05] | Is Edward the gay vampire or the gay werewolf? | 爱德华是吸血鬼基佬还是狼人基佬 |
| [00:09] | The vampire. | 他是吸血鬼 |
| [00:10] | And he’s not gay, he’s… androgynous. | 而且他不是基佬 他只是雌雄同体 |
| [00:13] | So he can write with both hands, big deal. | 不就是能两只手写字吗 有啥了不起的 |
| [00:17] | No, I mean… | 我不是那个意思 |
| [00:19] | Never mind. | 算了 |
| [00:21] | I’ll tell you what’s a great movie– | 给你介绍一部好电影 |
| [00:23] | Jackass 2. | 蠢蛋搞怪秀2 |
| [00:25] | Now, I know what you’re thinking: sequels suck. | 我晓得你会觉得续集都不咋地 |
| [00:27] | But not that one. | 但是这部绝对经典 |
| [00:28] | There’s this one part where this guy | 其中有一幕 |
| [00:30] | puts on a diver’s helmet with a hose attached, | 一男的戴着接了水管的潜水员的头盔 |
| [00:32] | and this fat guy farts into the tube until he pukes. | 另一个胖子就冲着那管子放屁直到他吐了 |
| [00:36] | The guy in the diver’s helmet, not the fat guy. | 是带潜水员头盔的吐了不是那胖子 |
| [00:39] | Sounds puerile. | 听起来真傻气 |
| [00:41] | Oh, yeah, it’s totally puerile. | 如假包换的傻气 |
| [00:44] | Unless puerile isn’t good. | 除非傻气不是好词 |
| [00:46] | In which case, it’s totally un-puerile. | 这样的话这电影是真的不傻气 |
| [00:50] | Anti-puerile? | 还是不白痴? |
| [00:52] | Maybe we shouldn’t talk. | 这个问题我们还是打住吧 |
| [00:56] | Hello! | 偶回来鸟 |
| [00:58] | Oh, crap. | 该死的 |
| [00:59] | Is that your dad? | 你老爸吗 |
| [01:01] | No, worse. | 是就好了 |
| [01:02] | My drunken uncle. | 我喝高了的伯伯 |
| [01:04] | I just pray he remembered to pull up his zipper. | 我唯一指望的就是他拉上裤子拉链 |
| [01:09] | There’s my main man. | 俺最中意的人 |
| [01:11] | Jake-o-roonie, Jake-o-reenie, | 杰克罗尼或者杰克瑞尼 |
| [01:14] | Jake the snake! | 还是贪吃蛇杰克 |
| [01:17] | Who are you? | 你是哪位 |
| [01:19] | Megan. | 梅根 |
| [01:20] | Meg-a-roonie, Meg-a-reenie, | 梅根罗尼或者梅根瑞尼 |
| [01:23] | Megan the snagan. | 还是贪吃蛇梅根 |
| [01:26] | Zipper, Uncle Charlie. | 查理伯伯拉上拉链 |
| [01:28] | Oooop, gd catch. | 拉好了 |
| [01:32] | Thought you had a date tonight. | 我以为你今晚有约会呢 |
| [01:33] | Not a date, a date experience. | 不是约会 是约会体验 |
| [01:36] | What’s the difference? | 有啥区别 |
| [01:38] | About $1,500. | 差了1500块呢 |
| [01:46] | So, Megan, | 梅根 |
| [01:47] | what’s your deal? | 你在干嘛呢 |
| [01:48] | Trying to teach your parents a lesson? | 想给你爸妈点颜色看看? |
| [01:50] | I’m in Jake’s homeroom. | 我和杰克在一起上辅导课 |
| [01:52] | Got it. Yeah, I was pretty sure | 了解 |
| [01:54] | you didn’t meet him in honors math class. | 就知道你们不是在奥数班碰上的 |
| [01:57] | Boy, I remember being your age. | 我记得像你们这么大的时候 |
| [02:00] | Going out with Beth Anderson. | 和贝斯·安德森一起约会 |
| [02:03] | She was head cheerleader. | 她是拉拉队的队长 |
| [02:04] | I was crazy about her, but she dumped me | 我超迷她的 但是还是被她甩了 |
| [02:07] | and left me with nothing but a broken heart. | 她留给我的只有伤透了的心 |
| [02:10] | And the clap. | 还有拍拍手 |
| [02:11] | The what? | 什么拍拍手 |
| [02:14] | Wow, you kids today have no idea what that is, do you? | 你们现在的小孩真的是不懂啊 |
| [02:17] | I know it sounds cute. | 我知道听起来是挺可爱的 |
| [02:19] | The clap! | 拍拍手 |
| [02:21] | But it burns like hell. | 可是真的疼死你 |
| [02:23] | I think I’d better get home. | 我觉得我该回家了 |
| [02:26] | Wait, don’t go. | 等等别走啊 |
| [02:27] | He’ll be passed out in ten minutes. | 再过10分钟他就晕死过去了 |
| [02:29] | I’ll see you in homeroom. | 辅导课上见 |
| [02:31] | Come on, Megan. | 等等梅根 |
| [02:33] | Thanks a lot! | 你个超级大灯泡 |
| [02:35] | You’re welcome! | 表客气 |
| [02:37] | I’m really gonna get you back for this. | 你给我等着瞧 |
| [02:40] | Okey-dokey. | 尽管来吧 |
| [02:41] | Megan, hold up! | 梅根等下 |
| [02:42] | Oh, Beth Anderson. | 贝斯·安德森 |
| [02:45] | Every time it hurts when I pee, | 每次尿尿疼的时候 |
| [02:48] | I think of you. | 我就会想起你 |
| [03:08] | Charlie. | 查理 |
| [03:10] | What? | 干啥 |
| [03:12] | Sign this. | 签个名 |
| [03:13] | I’m not signing anything till I see a lawyer. | 不看见律师我是不会签的 |
| [03:17] | Wake up! | 醒醒 |
| [03:18] | What? | 到底干嘛 |
| [03:20] | Birthday card for Mom. | 给妈妈的生日卡 |
| [03:21] | Sign it. | 签名 |
| [03:22] | No, thanks. | 不用了谢谢 |
| [03:24] | Come back with a “do not resuscitate” form | 下次拿个放弃抢救的表格过来 |
| [03:26] | and we’ll talk. | 我们再谈 |
| [03:28] | Come on, Charlie. | 得了吧查理 |
| [03:30] | What did we get her? | 我们送啥礼物 |
| [03:32] | You mean, “What did I get her?” | 你的意思是我送了啥礼物 |
| [03:34] | No, I mean, what did I pay for? | 我的意思是我付钱买了啥 |
| [03:36] | We went 50-50 on engraved stationery. | 我们一人出了一半的钱买的雕刻文具 |
| [03:39] | 50-50? | 一人一半 |
| [03:40] | Okay, 100-zero. | 好吧 全是你出的 |
| [03:42] | But I will pay you back. | 我会还给你的 |
| [03:45] | Right. | 了解 |
| [03:46] | I assume you don’t want to go with me and Jake | 我估计你就不想和我还有杰克 |
| [03:48] | to give her her present and wish her a happy birthday. | 一起去老妈那送礼物并祝她快乐 |
| [03:50] | And I assume you’re never gonna pay me back. | 我估计打死你也不会还我钱的 |
| [03:54] | We are a well-oiled machine. | 我们的合作很强大 |
| [03:58] | “Mom, you know how I feel. | 妈妈 你明白我的想法 |
| [04:00] | Charlie.” | 查理 |
| [04:03] | Straight from the heart. | 全是真心话 |
| [04:10] | This just blows. | 真是无聊 |
| [04:12] | Come on. | 别抱怨了 |
| [04:13] | Seeing you is going to make your grandmother very happy. | 奶奶会非常开心见到你的 |
| [04:17] | What do you two want? | 你俩想干啥 |
| [04:19] | Hi, Mom! | 你好老妈 |
| [04:21] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [04:22] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [04:25] | We brought you a gift. | 我们带了礼物哦 |
| [04:28] | Doesn’t give you license to show up unannounced, | 不记得告诉你们想来就可以来啊 |
| [04:30] | but all right. | 不过随便吧 |
| [04:34] | She just better keep me in the will. | 她最好还把我放在她的遗嘱上 |
| [04:36] | I can hear you, Jake. | 杰克我听得见你讲话哦 |
| [04:38] | Love you, Grandma. | 奶奶我好爱你哦 |
| [04:46] | Just so you know, | 只想告诉你 |
| [04:48] | I like this even less than you do. | 我比你还恶心这生日派对 |
| [04:51] | That’s hard to believe. | 很难相信 |
| [04:52] | I got to tell you, | 我必须得说 |
| [04:54] | Mom, you are looking younger every year. | 妈 你一年比一年看起来更青春 |
| [04:57] | I hope you lie to your parents better than that. | 希望你骗你爸妈的时候有比那强 |
| [05:00] | I do. | 我有 |
| [05:01] | I don’t. | 我没有 |
| [05:05] | So, uh, do you like your present? | 怎么样 你喜欢你的礼物吗 |
| [05:06] | It’s stationery with a big “E” on it. | 不过就是文具然后上面有大大的E |
| [05:09] | It stands for “Evelyn.” | E代表的是艾芙琳[Evelyn] |
| [05:11] | Very good, darling. | 非常好 亲爱的 |
| [05:13] | Uncle Charlie said the “E” was for “evil.” | 查理叔叔说E代表的是邪恶[Evil] |
| [05:16] | So, any… any big birthday plans? | 有 有任何重要的生日计划吗 |
| [05:20] | Like what? | 比如说呢 |
| [05:21] | I don’t know. Hot date? | 我不知道啊 火辣的约会吗 |
| [05:22] | As a matter of fact, I did have a date. | 事实上 我本来是有个约会 |
| [05:24] | – What happened? – He cancelled. | -怎么了 -他取消了 |
| [05:26] | Whoa, you got dumped on your birthday? | 你在你生日的时候被甩了吗 |
| [05:28] | That is so puerile. | 真幼稚 |
| [05:32] | Or is it? | 是那样吗 |
| [05:36] | What is wrong with him? | 他到底有啥毛病 |
| [05:38] | Nothing organic. We’ve had him checked. | 至少不是生理的问题 带他检查过了 |
| [05:41] | So, is there birthday cake? | 那会有生日蛋糕吗 |
| [05:44] | Oh, Jake, what is to become of you? | 杰克 你以后可怎么办啊 |
| [05:48] | Thank God my life is mostly behind me. | 谢天谢地我的生命已经过了一大半 |
| [05:50] | I’d hate to be your age, preparing to make my way | 我可不喜欢你那个年纪 准备要向下一阶段迈进 |
| [05:53] | in a world that’s coming apart at the seams, | 要与这个世界接轨 |
| [05:55] | while having no discernible job skills | 可是却没有顶用的技能 |
| [05:57] | or charisma whatsoever. | 或者是社交技巧那类的 |
| [05:59] | So is that a yea or nay on the cake? | 所以蛋糕到底是是有还是没有 |
| [06:08] | Bye, Mom! Happy birthday! | 妈 再见 生日快乐 |
| [06:11] | Whoa, that was grim. | 真可怕 |
| [06:13] | Yeah, who has a birthday party without cake? | 是啊 谁的生日派对会没有蛋糕啊 |
| [06:16] | Your uncle really dodged a bullet, didn’t he? | 你叔叔真的躲过了一劫 你说是吧 |
| [06:19] | Yeah, he did. | 是的 |
| [06:22] | Hey, Dad… | 爸 |
| [06:25] | maybe we shouldn’t leave Grandma alone. | 或许我们不应该把奶奶丢下自己一个人 |
| [06:26] | She seemed kind of depressed. | 她看起来挺低落的 |
| [06:28] | Oh, uh, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [06:29] | She doesn’t commit suicide. She inspires it. | 她是不会自杀的 她只会令别人自杀 |
| [06:33] | I was just thinking maybe it’d be nice | 我只是觉得 应该把她带回查理伯伯家 |
| [06:35] | to have her to Uncle Charlie’s for a real birthday dinner. | 好好吃一顿生日晚餐 那样应该还不错嘛 |
| [06:39] | You know, Jake, it’s moments like this that make me proud. | 知道吗 杰克 你的这种时刻总让我骄傲 |
| [06:42] | You’ve got a big heart. | 你有一颗善良的心 |
| [06:44] | Okay, we’ll bring her back to Uncle Charlie’s. | 好吧 我们就把她带回你查理伯伯家 |
| [06:55] | How was your time in hell? | 在地狱的时光如何啊 |
| [06:56] | So good he brought a little back with him. | 好到他还带了点回来 |
| [06:59] | Hey. Hey, Mom. | 妈 |
| [07:02] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [07:03] | I-I… | 我 我 |
| [07:04] | would have come over, but… | 本来要去找你的 但是 |
| [07:07] | Oh, come on, do I really need a reason? | 算了吧 难道我还需要想个理由吗 |
| [07:09] | That’s all right. I don’t expect much from you. | 没事的 我对你从没有过什么期望 |
| [07:11] | And you never disappoint me. | 而你也从来没让我失望过 |
| [07:14] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 稍等我一会 |
| [07:16] | I’m going to drown my sorrows in alcohol. | 我要去把我的悲伤淹死在酒精里 |
| [07:18] | If you’re not committed to alcohol, | 你要是不想用酒精来淹死悲伤 |
| [07:19] | there’s a whole big ocean out there. | 外面有一片大海可以用 |
| [07:21] | What the hell are you doing? | 你到底在搞什么鬼 |
| [07:23] | Oh, I just thought it would be nice | 我只是觉得 我们跟她共进个晚餐 |
| [07:25] | if we had a little birthday dinner for her. | 应该会挺不错的吧 |
| [07:26] | You thought it would be nice to bring Mom to my house? | 你觉得把妈带来我家里会挺不错吗 |
| [07:29] | Actually, it was Jake’s idea. | 事实上 这是杰克的主意 |
| [07:30] | Of course. Jake. | 我就知道 杰克 |
| [07:35] | And where is… the boy? | 那小鬼 在哪 |
| [07:39] | It’s Sunday. I dropped him off at his Mom’s. | 今天是星期天 我把他带到他妈妈那边了 |
| [07:47] | Hey, Uncle Charlie. How’s it going? | 查理伯伯 近来可好 |
| [07:49] | You rat bastard. | 你个小畜生 |
| [07:52] | Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it? | 报复是个贱货 你说是吧 |
| [07:55] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [07:57] | What did he mean, “payback’s a bitch”? | 他是什么意思 报复是个贱货 |
| [07:59] | Damn it, Charlie, | 我操 查理 |
| [08:00] | How am I supposed to make a Martini without green olives? | 没有绿橄榄 我怎么调马丁尼啊 |
| [08:04] | He mis-spoke. | 他说错了 |
| [08:05] | He meant, “the bitch is payback.” | 他的意思是 这贱货就是报复 |
| [08:17] | So this is it? | 就这样吗 |
| [08:19] | We’re just going to sit here watching television till dinnertime? | 我们就坐在这里看电视直到晚餐时间吗 |
| [08:22] | I’m hoping to do it till bedtime. | 我希望能一直看到睡觉时间 |
| [08:25] | We can’t talk? | 我们不能聊聊吗 |
| [08:27] | What would you like to talk about? | 你想聊什么 |
| [08:28] | Don’t encourage her, Alan. | 别随便支持她 艾伦 |
| [08:30] | Well, what comes immediately to mind | 随便一想就能想到的话题就是 |
| [08:32] | is the futility of love, | 徒劳无功的爱情 |
| [08:34] | the disappointment of family, | 令人失望的家庭 |
| [08:35] | and the inevitability of death. | 以及无可避免的死亡 |
| [08:38] | I’d be right with you if “inevitable” meant “now.” | 无可避免的死亡改成现在死亡 我就跟你聊 |
| [08:40] | Well, I am sorry, | 很抱歉 |
| [08:43] | but I cannot go along with you two gloomy Gothes. | 我无法你们两个阴郁的非主流产生共鸣 |
| [08:45] | I look at life, and I see the cup as half full. | 当我面对生活 我觉得杯子是半满的[比喻乐观] |
| [08:47] | But the cup belongs to your brother, | 但是你的杯子是你哥哥的 |
| [08:49] | and what it’s half full of is tears. | 而且里面的那半杯都是眼泪 |
| [08:52] | Good one, Mom. | 说的好 妈 |
| [08:54] | You’re no one to talk. | 你没资格说话 |
| [08:56] | He at least aspires to normalcy, | 他至少向往能成为普通人 |
| [08:59] | tries to have meaningful relationships with women. | 试图跟女人维持着一段有意义的关系 |
| [09:02] | You go out with a girl and break up with her | 而你跟泡上个女人 然后在她刚剃好的阴毛 |
| [09:04] | before her hoo-ha can develop a 5:00 shadow. | 都还没重新长出来之前就甩了她 |
| [09:10] | Well, uh, in his defense, Mom, | 站在他的立场来说 |
| [09:12] | he’s usually paying by the hour. | 是因为他通常都是按小时付费给人家的[暗指嫖妓] |
| [09:15] | Very smart, Alan. | 干得好 艾伦 |
| [09:17] | Bite the syphilitic hand that feeds you. | 反咬那收留你的梅毒患者一口 |
| [09:22] | Well, if neither of you is going to refill my drink, | 既然你们俩都不愿意去帮我添饮料 |
| [09:25] | I’ll do it myself. | 我自己去就是了 |
| [09:27] | Help yourself, Mom. | 妈 你自便 |
| [09:29] | I keep the Vodka in a bleach bottle. | 我把伏特加都装在漂白剂罐子里了 |
| [09:35] | I can’t take this anymore. I got to get out of here. | 我受不了 我得离开这 |
| [09:39] | You’re gonna leave me alone with her? | 你要把我留在这跟她独处吗 |
| [09:40] | Hey, hey, I was alone with her | 在你出生前 |
| [09:42] | for two years before you were born. You owe me. | 我跟她独处了两年 这是你欠我的 |
| [09:46] | Why don’t we both make a break for it? | 咱俩一块跑怎么样 |
| [09:48] | Okay. Great. | 好吧 很好 |
| [09:50] | On three. | 我数三声 |
| [09:54] | One… | 一 |
| [09:56] | Two… | 二 |
| [10:03] | You’re supposed to say “go” after “three.” | 你数完三以后要喊”跑”才对呀 |
| [10:06] | Before we pick up the olives, can we stop at a pharmacy? | 去买橄榄之前 能不能先去一下药店 |
| [10:10] | Sure. | 当然可以 |
| [10:15] | Isn’t anybody gonna ask why? | 都没人问我去为什么要去药店吗 |
| [10:22] | Fine. Uh, why? | 好吧 去药店干吗 |
| [10:24] | Don’t ask if you don’t care. | 你既然都不关心 还问来干吗 |
| [10:28] | It’s a woman problem. | 是女人的问题啦 |
| [10:30] | ‘Nough said. | 我不想听了 |
| [10:32] | As you get older, certain parts of your body | 人一上岁数 身体的某些部位 |
| [10:34] | don’t lubricate properly. | 就不怎么润滑了 |
| [10:38] | Please, God, tell me you have to pick up some Visine. | 天啊 但愿你要买的是滴眼液 |
| [10:42] | I’m not talking about my eyes, Charlie. | 停止润滑的又不是我的眼睛 查理 |
| [10:48] | Oh, sure, one can masturbate to keep things flowing, | 当然啦 我是可以用手让它保持润滑的 |
| [10:51] | but it’s not the same as actual intercourse. | 但是这跟真正的嘿咻可是没得比的 |
| [11:07] | What’s his problem? | 他搞什么 |
| [11:09] | Just give him a minute. | 等他一会儿就是了 |
| [11:13] | That was very rude | 你就那样把我们丢在路边 |
| [11:15] | leaving us sitting there on the side of the road. | 可是很不礼貌的 |
| [11:18] | Would you rather I threw up in the car? | 那你宁愿我吐在车里吗 |
| [11:21] | Hey, Charlie. | 查理 |
| [11:23] | Oh, hey, Russell. | 罗素 |
| [11:24] | This is my mother Evelyn and my brother Alan. | 这是我妈伊夫林 还有我弟艾伦 |
| [11:27] | Oh, hi. Nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你们 |
| [11:28] | Can I interest you folks in a codeine popsicle? | 想不想来个可待因[止咳镇痛药]冰棒 |
| [11:31] | It’s my own invention. | 这是我的独家发明 |
| [11:33] | I think we’re good, Russell. | 不用了 罗素 我们好着呢 |
| [11:34] | You suck on one of these, you’ll be great. | 来口冰棒 你就好上加好了 |
| [11:36] | I call it “springtime on a stick.” | 我管它叫”棒上的春天” |
| [11:40] | Yeah, listen, | 听着 |
| [11:42] | my mom needs some, um… | 我妈要买点 |
| [11:45] | Mom? | 妈 你自己说吧 |
| [11:49] | Birth control pills. | 避孕药 |
| [11:52] | Do you have a prescription? | 你有医生的处方吗 |
| [11:54] | – Kidding. We’re all friends here. – Oh. | 逗你玩的 咱们谁跟谁呀 |
| [11:56] | Come on back, and I’ll show you our selection. | 到后面来挑吧 |
| [11:59] | Oh, aren’t you a doll? | 你真是好人呀 |
| [12:01] | And I’m anatomically correct. | 不仅好人 在床上还很好用呢 |
| [12:03] | Oh, good to know. | 真不错 |
| [12:07] | Why did she ask for birth control pills? | 她要避孕药干吗 |
| [12:10] | Gee, Alan, I don’t know. | 天啊 我哪知道呀 艾伦 |
| [12:11] | Maybe she didn’t want to lead with her dry hoo-ha. | 或许她只是不想别人知道她已经枯竭了 |
| [12:17] | Are you thinking what I’m thinking? | 咱俩想到一块去了吗 |
| [12:19] | Yes, but this time, let’s be clear. | 是的 但是这次得先说清楚 |
| [12:21] | Do we run on “go” or just “three”? | 数到三就跑 还是等你喊”跑”再跑 |
| [12:22] | Oh, no, no. There’s no running. | 不 不 我们哪也不去 |
| [12:24] | Let’s set her up with Russell. | 咱们撮合她跟罗素吧 |
| [12:26] | Oh, gee, I’m not so sure that’s a good match. | 我不认为他俩会适合 |
| [12:28] | When the hell did this become eharmony? | 你以为我们是在创建和谐社会呀 |
| [12:30] | We just need to get her out of our hair. | 我们只是要摆脱掉她而已 |
| [12:32] | Oh, right, right. | 没错 没错 |
| [12:34] | Follow my lead. | 跟着我见机行事 |
| [12:35] | Thanks, Russell. | 谢谢 罗素 |
| [12:36] | These’ll be just fine. Hmm. | 这些就行了 |
| [12:38] | What do I owe you? | 多少钱 |
| [12:39] | Oh, it’s on the house. | 算我请你的 |
| [12:41] | Any mom of Charlie’s | 查理的母亲是我 |
| [12:42] | is a potential lifelong customer of mine. | 潜在的长期客户呀 |
| [12:44] | Aren’t you sweet! | 你真是嘴甜 |
| [12:46] | Or it could just be Mr. Popsicle talking. | 要不就是冰棒吃多了 |
| [12:49] | Hey, listen, Russell, um, | 听着 罗素 |
| [12:51] | we’re having a little birthday dinner for Mom tonight, | 我们今晚替我妈办生日晚宴 |
| [12:53] | so if you’re not doing anything, maybe you’d like to join us. | 如果你没别的安排的话 就一起来吧 |
| [12:56] | Oh, what a wonderful idea. | 这主意真好 |
| [12:57] | I’d love to. | 我十分乐意 |
| [12:58] | What can I bri — | 我带点什么去好呢 |
| [12:59] | Xanax, ritalin? | 赞安诺 还是利他灵[均为镇静剂] |
| [13:01] | What are you serving? | 你们今晚吃什么 |
| [13:02] | Chinese takeout. | 中餐外卖 |
| [13:04] | Then, perhaps something from the opiate family. | 那我还是带点鸦片类的过去好了 |
| [13:08] | Bring whatever you want. | 你想带什么都行 |
| [13:09] | Done and done. | 收到 没问题 |
| [13:11] | And I will see you later, birthday girl. | 晚点见 寿星女 |
| [13:13] | Well, I’ll see you later, anatomically correct boy. | 晚点见了 好用的家伙 |
| [13:18] | So, around 7:00? | 那么七点见咯 |
| [13:20] | With bells on. Thanks for the invite. | 一言为定 谢谢邀请 |
| [13:22] | You’re welcome. | 客气什么 |
| [13:24] | You poor, clueless bastard. | 可怜的傻蛋 |
| [13:30] | I don’t know why I didn’t think of this years ago. | 我早该想到这个主意了 |
| [13:33] | Russell’s perfect for Mom. | 罗素跟老妈简直是绝配 |
| [13:34] | They’ve both been divorced multiple times, | 他俩都离过多次婚 |
| [13:37] | they’re both trying desperately to hang onto their youth, | 都疯狂地想要挽留住逝去的青春 |
| [13:39] | plus, they’re both big fans of class A narcotics. | 再加上 他俩都热爱一级迷幻药 |
| [13:43] | Does Russell have kids? | 罗素有孩子吗 |
| [13:45] | Uh, none that he admits to. | 他不承认自己有 |
| [13:48] | Just like Mom. | 跟老妈一样 |
| [13:50] | Well, boys, | 好了 孩子们 |
| [13:53] | what do you think? | 你们觉得怎么样 |
| [13:55] | Wow, you look terrific. | 美极了 |
| [13:57] | It’s not too much, is it? | 不会太隆重吧 |
| [13:59] | No, no, no, the bright colors are good for Russell. | 不 不 亮色最适合罗素了 |
| [14:01] | It keeps him from nodding off. | 这样他就不会打盹了 |
| [14:03] | I just want you both to know | 我只是想告诉你们 |
| [14:05] | how grateful I am for everything | 我很感激你们 |
| [14:06] | you’ve done to make this a special birthday for me. | 为给我一个特别的生日而做的这一切 |
| [14:08] | Well, you’re-you’re welcome, Mom. | 你 你太客气了 妈 |
| [14:09] | Just want to make you happy. | 你开心就好 |
| [14:11] | Thank you, but if you really wanted to make me happy, | 谢谢 但是你要是真想让我开心的话 |
| [14:13] | you would have made different life choices. | 你就应该做出正确的人生抉择 |
| [14:16] | Oh, that’s him. | 他来了 |
| [14:18] | Hang on. | 等会 |
| [14:21] | All right, open the door. | 好了 开门吧 |
| [14:30] | Russell? | 罗素 |
| [14:32] | Russell! | 罗素 |
| [14:33] | Oh, hi, Charlie. | 你好啊 查理 |
| [14:34] | This is Jill. | 这位是吉尔 |
| [14:36] | Oh, hi, Jill. Come on in. | 你好 吉尔 进来吧 |
| [14:38] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:39] | What’s with the date? | 带个女伴儿来干嘛 |
| [14:41] | Well, you said bring whatever I want. | 你不是说我想带什么都成吗 |
| [14:44] | I want her. | 我就想带她呀 |
| [14:46] | I’ll be right back. | 恕我离开一下 |
| [14:48] | Where are you going? To put on panties. | 你到哪儿去 去把小内裤穿上 |
| [14:55] | So, uh, what do you do for a living, Jill? | 吉尔 你是干哪一行呢 |
| [14:57] | Well, I’m an actress, but you know how it is. | 我是个演员 不过 你也知道的 |
| [15:00] | Once you turn 30, parts dry up. | 一过三十 就没戏了 |
| [15:03] | You think your parts are drying up now, | 你现在就嫌自己人老珠黄了 |
| [15:04] | wait’ll you turn 50. | 过了50岁还怎么办 |
| [15:07] | Ah, don’t worry, sweetie. | 别担心 宝贝 |
| [15:09] | By the time you’re 50, I’ll be dead. | 等不到你50 我就先洗白了 |
| [15:15] | So, how long have you two been dating? | 你们俩交往多久了啊 |
| [15:17] | We’re not dating. | 我们没有在交往 |
| [15:19] | We have an arrangement. | 只是因为一个协议 |
| [15:20] | Arrangement? | 什么协议 |
| [15:21] | I let him climb on top of me a couple of times a month, | 我让他一个月趴在我身上干几次 |
| [15:24] | and he pays my rent. | 他帮我付房租 |
| [15:30] | Four glorious months and counting. | 都已经有4个月了哦 |
| [15:34] | Hey, Russell, you mind helping me | 嘿 罗素 和我一起 |
| [15:36] | make another batch of margaritas? | 去弄点玛格丽特酒吧 |
| [15:37] | Oh, it’d be my pleasure. | 非常乐意 |
| [15:39] | You know what’s good on the rim of a margarita? | 你知道在杯口弄点什么最棒吗 |
| [15:42] | Salt? | 盐吗 |
| [15:43] | Pharmaceutical cocaine. | 制药可卡因 |
| [15:46] | It’s actually good around the rim of anything. | 那东西可是搁在哪儿都好啊 |
| [15:50] | Okay, I’m only gonna ask this once. | 我就问你一次 |
| [15:52] | What did you think I meant when I invited you | 我请你来我单身老妈的生日宴 |
| [15:54] | to a birthday dinner for my single mother? | 你觉得我是什么意思 |
| [15:56] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [15:57] | When you came into the store, | 你到店里来的时候 |
| [15:59] | I was higher than Mel Gibson on Passover. | 我比梅尔·吉布森看到逾越节更亢奋呢 |
| [16:04] | I cannot believe you actually walked in here | 简直难以置信 你居然带了一个 |
| [16:06] | with a smokin’ hot 30-year-old. | 30岁的辣妹来 |
| [16:08] | What’s so hard to believe? | 这有什么 |
| [16:10] | She’s an out-of-work actress, and I have money and drugs. | 她是个失业演员 而我有钱又嗨药 |
| [16:17] | I guess this isn’t exactly the birthday party | 我猜你没有料到生日聚会 |
| [16:19] | you were hoping for. | 被搞成这样吧 |
| [16:21] | No, no, what every woman dreams of is her sons fixing her up | 不 这是我梦寐以求的 儿子为我举办的聚会 |
| [16:24] | with a man who arrives with a young, hot… arrangement. | 邀请了一位男士以及这位年轻火辣的…协议 |
| [16:31] | Well, if it makes you feel any better, | 你知道了这个也许会好受点 |
| [16:33] | when he touches me, I want to vomit. | 他碰我的时候 我都要吐了 |
| [16:36] | It actually does, thank you. | 是好受点了 谢了 |
| [16:39] | You know, it’s, uh… it’s funny you should say that. | 你提到这个让我想到个更搞笑的 |
| [16:42] | Um, my first wife Judith, uh, towards the end of our marriage, | 在我和第一任妻子在一起时 |
| [16:45] | uh, used to make this face like, uh, like she was gagging. | 她每次都 表现得像是在干呕 |
| [16:48] | Sort of a… | 就像这样 |
| [16:49] | No one cares, Alan. | 艾伦 我们不想听 |
| [16:53] | Now, Jill, listen to me. | 吉尔 你好好听我说 |
| [16:55] | You still have time to make changes in your life. | 你现在回头还为时不晚 |
| [16:58] | You don’t want to end up old and used-up and alone like me. | 不要弄得像我一样 等到老了没用了孤身一人 |
| [17:03] | I’m always here for you, Mom. | 老妈 还有我在呢 |
| [17:07] | Like I said, make changes. | 像我说的 你要做出改变 |
| [17:11] | Another margarita for the birthday chiquita. | 新一轮的玛格丽特酒来了 |
| [17:14] | Oh, hit me. | 给我满上 |
| [17:17] | Um, Evelyn, I believe I owe you an apology. | 艾芙琳 我得向你道歉 |
| [17:22] | When Charlie invited me to dinner, | 查理请我来 |
| [17:24] | I had no idea that he was thinking | 我完全没有想到 |
| [17:26] | that you and I were a potential couple. | 他是想撮合我们 |
| [17:30] | I mean, you’re | 你是位 |
| [17:32] | a handsome woman… | 不错的女性 |
| [17:35] | …but my tastes run more to | 但我更喜欢 |
| [17:38] | baby veal. | 小牛肉 |
| [17:41] | I understand. | 我能理解 |
| [17:43] | She’s veal, and I’m jerky. | 她就像小牛肉 而我是肉干了 |
| [17:46] | Good, so you get it. | 恩 你理解就好 |
| [17:51] | Excuse me. | 我离开一下 |
| [17:54] | Wow. That could have been awkward. | 真是囧得不能再囧了 |
| [17:59] | One of us should probably go talk to her. | 谁去安慰一下她吧 |
| [18:06] | I’ll go talk to her. | 我去吧 |
| [18:13] | I can’t believe I’m hitting that. | 真不敢相信 我能上她 |
| [18:17] | I can’t believe I’m not hitting you. | 真不敢相信 我还没对你动粗 |
| [18:24] | Wait, wait– you’re opening a drug rehab facility in Malibu? | 什么 你要在马里布开一家戒毒中心 |
| [18:29] | No, not-not rehab, prehab. | 不是戒毒 而是上瘾 |
| [18:33] | – What the hell is that? – Prehab? | -什么狗屁玩意儿啊 -让人上瘾 |
| [18:37] | All right, think about it. | 是啊 你想想 |
| [18:39] | Rich celebrities will spend $50,000 a month | 那些有钱的名人一个月光是戒毒 |
| [18:42] | to go some place nice where they won’t do drugs. | 都要花上5万美元 |
| [18:44] | Imagine how much they would spend | 试想下 有一个迷人的海滩 |
| [18:47] | to go to a snazzy place on the beach to do them. | 让他们吸毒 他们又会花上多少钱呢 |
| [18:53] | What about the legal issues? | 那这个不犯法吗 |
| [18:55] | What are you, a cop? | 你谁啊 条子呀 |
| [18:58] | No. | 不是 |
| [18:59] | Then shut up. | 那就闭嘴 |
| [19:01] | Hey, is it me, | 你们不觉得吗 |
| [19:02] | or have Mom and Jill been gone for quite a while? | 老妈和吉尔去了有一段时间了 |
| [19:05] | Time is a very subjective thing, Charlie, | 查理 时间这东西谁说的准啊 |
| [19:08] | especially when you’re abusing powerful anti-psychotics. | 特别当你吃过抗精神病药物后 就完全不知道了 |
| [19:17] | One of us should probably go check and see | 我看我们还是去看下 |
| [19:19] | if everything’s okay. | 没出什么事吧 |
| [19:26] | One of us should probably answer that phone first. | 我们应该先去把电话接了[嗨药后的幻听] |
| [19:35] | Mom? | 老妈 |
| [19:44] | Oh, that tickles. | 好痒啊 |
| [19:46] | You started it. | 还不是你自找的呀 |
| [19:48] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [19:50] | Oh, Jill. | 噢 吉尔 |
| [19:51] | Oh, Evelyn. | 噢 艾芙琳 |
| [19:56] | On three? | 数到3就跑 |
| [19:57] | You wait till three. | 你自己慢慢数吧 |
| [20:07] | I can’t believe Mom ran off with this idiot’s girlfriend. | 没想到老妈居然和这个傻×的女友搞上了 |
| [20:10] | I can’t believe this idiot’s still here. | 没想到这傻×还呆在这儿 |
| [20:14] | It’s not that I can’t hear you. | 我不是听不见 |
| [20:17] | It’s that I’m busy talking to Jim Morrison. | 而是我忙着和吉姆·莫瑞森[因吸毒过量而死的大门乐队主唱]聊天呢 |
| [20:21] | Incredible. | 我的神啊 |
| [20:23] | Excuse me a minute, Jim. | 稍等一下 吉姆 |
| [20:25] | I don’t want to spook you fellas, | 不是我吓唬你们 |
| [20:27] | but I took a handful of Viagra | 我真的吃了一大把伟哥 |
| [20:29] | in anticipation of a different kind of evening. | 本以为会有一个奇妙的缠绵之夜 |
| [20:33] | -3 -3 – Three. – Three. | |
| [20:44] | What are you looking at? | 你又看个啥 |