| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Yeah, hi. | 您好啊 |
| [00:04] | I’m watching your commercial for the Shake Weight? | 我在看你们震动减肥仪的广告哦 |
| [00:10] | my brother does basically the same thing | 我老弟每天在洗澡的时候 |
| [00:12] | in the shower every day | 基本就和那减肥仪干同一件事情 |
| [00:14] | and he has absolutely no muscle tone in his arms. | 而且他的胳膊绝对没有肌张力 |
| [00:19] | – All right, I’m out of here. – Hold on a sec. | -干完了我收工了 -稍等一下 |
| [00:21] | What does this look like to you, Berta? | 你觉得这震动减肥仪像啥 |
| [00:24] | Your brother in the shower? | 你弟弟洗澡呗 |
| [00:27] | You hear that? It’s not just me. | 您听见没 不止我一个人这么想哦 |
| [00:31] | Thanks, Berta. I’ll see you tomorrow. | 谢谢波塔 明见 |
| [00:34] | No, you won’t. | 明天我不来的 |
| [00:36] | I told you, I’m going to a family reunion for a few days. | 早就告诉你了 我这几天要去参加家庭聚会 |
| [00:40] | But what about me? | 那我咋办 |
| [00:43] | All right, | 好吧 |
| [00:45] | let’s go through this one more time. | 再给你讲一遍 |
| [00:51] | I arranged to have a friend fill in for me. | 我让一个朋友过来帮几天忙 |
| [00:56] | Her name is Esmerelda. | 她叫爱思玛莉达 |
| [00:58] | I have given her | 我已经对她讲了 |
| [00:59] | detailed instructions | 你所有的生活习惯 |
| [01:01] | about how you like things done around here. | 比如你喜欢在家里做啥 |
| [01:03] | Did you tell her to roll me over on my stomach | 你告诉她要把我翻过来 |
| [01:05] | so I don’t choke on my own vomit? | 这样我就不会被我自己的呕吐物呛死 |
| [01:09] | That’s number one on the list. | 这是我告诉她的第一件事 |
| [01:11] | Is she hot? | 她性感不 |
| [01:14] | She was in the ’70s. | 她是70后了 |
| [01:15] | I guess it’s better that way. | 我觉得那样最好 |
| [01:17] | Yeah, it’s tough enough that you and I have sexual tension. | 你和我之间的性张力确实挺纠结的 |
| [01:22] | Oh, by the way, you promised me vacation pay. | 对了 你答应给我渡假工资了 |
| [01:26] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [01:29] | How much did we agree on? | 我们说好是多少钱 |
| [01:31] | That looks about right. | 差不多就这些 |
| [01:34] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [01:36] | See you tomorrow. | 明天见哦 |
| [01:42] | Uncle Charlie in there? | 查理伯伯在吗 |
| [01:45] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [01:46] | Drunk? | 喝高了吧 |
| [01:47] | Hammered. | 绝对的 |
| [01:48] | You clean him out? | 你帮他醒酒了吗 |
| [01:50] | Would I do that to my little buddy? | 我干嘛费那个劲啊 |
| [01:53] | Thank you, Berta. | 谢啦 波塔 |
| [01:55] | All right, have a good weekend, Uncle Charlie. | 查理伯伯周末愉快啊 |
| [01:58] | Enjoy your family reunion. | 家庭聚会愉快 |
| [02:00] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:01] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [02:03] | You know, you still owe me | 那天晚上买披萨的钱 |
| [02:04] | for that pizza from the other night. | 你还欠我呢 |
| [02:06] | Oh, yeah, sorry. | 是哦 不好意思 |
| [02:09] | How much was it? | 多少钱来着 |
| [02:11] | That’ll do it. | 差不多就这些 |
| [02:12] | Jake, let’s go. Your mom’s outside. | 杰克走了 你妈在外面等着呢 |
| [02:15] | See ya, Uncle Charlie. | 再见查理伯伯 |
| [02:16] | See ya, buddy. | 再见 |
| [02:18] | Thanks for the pizza. | 谢谢你买的披萨 |
| [02:21] | When did you guys have pizza? | 你们啥时候吃的披萨 |
| [02:22] | I have no idea. | 我不记得了 |
| [02:27] | Hey, Charlie, you remember Lyndsey? | 查理你还记得琳赛吗 |
| [02:30] | Nope. | 不记得了 |
| [02:35] | Hey, look. | 瞧啊 |
| [02:43] | I’m exercising. | 我练习捏 |
| [02:47] | Oh, maybe you ought to sit down for a minute. | 你最好坐下来 |
| [02:50] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
| [02:52] | I’m getting a little dizzy. | 有点头晕 |
| [02:54] | I hope I don’t have a heart problem. | 希望我没啥心脏问题 |
| [02:56] | No, you have a drinking problem. | 你心脏没事 你就是喝多了 |
| [02:59] | That’s a relief. | 那我就放心了 |
| [03:01] | So who’s this Lyndsey? | 那琳赛到底是谁 |
| [03:03] | You remember– Lyndsey, early 40s, blonde, pretty. | 你记得的 40多岁的金发美女 |
| [03:08] | No recollection. | 没一点印象 |
| [03:10] | I burned her house down. | 我点着了她家的房子 |
| [03:12] | She left me, went back to her ex-husband? | 她甩了我 和她前夫和好了 |
| [03:14] | Keep going. | 再给点线索 |
| [03:16] | Nice, full, very natural looking C-cup? | 坚挺丰满天然的C罩杯 |
| [03:20] | Oh, right, Lyndsey. | 记得了 琳赛 |
| [03:22] | Here we go. | 来带上 |
| [03:33] | What are you doing? | 你要做啥 |
| [03:34] | Child-proofing you. | 怕你磕着 |
| [03:36] | Thank you. | 谢谢了 |
| [03:37] | So you’re-you’re dating | 这么说 你在跟 |
| [03:39] | Lindsay Lohan? | 琳赛·罗翰约会? |
| [03:41] | No, no, Lyndsey MacElroy. | 不 是琳赛·麦克洛伊 |
| [03:44] | Anyway, she called and apparently | 给我打了电话 |
| [03:46] | things aren’t working out with the ex-husband, | 她和前夫还是没办法过到一块 |
| [03:48] | and even though she didn’t exactly say she | 虽然没有明说是不是想和我复合 |
| [03:49] | wanted to get back together, I am going to meet her for dinner. | 但是我们一起要吃个晚饭 |
| [03:52] | Well, that’s great. | 那太好了 |
| [03:53] | Good for you. | 有你的啊 |
| [03:55] | How do I look? | 我看起来咋样 |
| [03:57] | Like Lance Armstrong after a three-day drunk. | 像兰斯·阿姆斯特朗灌了三天黄汤 |
| [04:01] | Nice. | 不赖哦 |
| [04:05] | You are a good brother, Alan. | 艾伦 你真是个好弟弟 |
| [04:08] | Have some money. | 拿点钱吧 |
| [04:11] | Thanks. | 谢啦 |
| [04:13] | If I were really a good brother, | 我要真是个好弟弟 |
| [04:15] | I would stage an intervention. | 就该带你去戒酒 |
| [04:17] | Thanks for the pizza. | 谢谢你的披萨 |
| [04:32] | Eureka. | 有了 |
| [04:35] | I’ve invented the drinking helmet. | 我发明了醉酒头盔 |
| [05:02] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [05:04] | 你好哈勃先生 我是波塔的朋友爱思玛莉达 很高兴认识你 (以上为西班牙语) | |
| [05:12] | Oh, man, did I go to Tijuana last night? | 晕啊 昨天去提华纳了吗（墨西哥西北部城市） |
| [05:20] | Me… you… | 你和我 |
| [05:23] | Not married, are we? | 没结婚吧 |
| [05:30] | I guess if the answer was yes, | 我猜如果结婚了 |
| [05:32] | she wouldn’t be polishing the piano. | 她正擦着的也不会是钢琴了 |
| [05:38] | Hey, Alan, quick question. | 艾伦问个问题 |
| [05:41] | Yeah? | 好啊 |
| [05:42] | Who is that in our living room? | 咱家客厅里的是谁 |
| [05:45] | That’s Esmerelda. | 爱思玛莉达 |
| [05:46] | Gonna need more. | 你就不能多说两句 |
| [05:48] | Berta’s friend? | 波塔的朋友 |
| [05:50] | Keep going. | 再给点线索 |
| [05:51] | Berta went to her family reunion. | 波塔去参加家庭聚会 |
| [05:53] | Esmerelda’s filling in for her. | 爱思玛莉达过来帮几天忙 |
| [05:54] | Oh. It would have been nice if she’d given me a heads-up. | 波塔早点告诉我就不用这么费劲了 |
| [05:59] | Aren’t you going to ask me about last night? | 不想问问我昨天咋样嘛 |
| [06:03] | Oh, yeah. | 是哦 |
| [06:04] | What did I do last night? | 昨天晚上我干啥了 |
| [06:08] | Somehow I spent almost all my money. | 我几乎花光了所有的钱 |
| [06:12] | No, I meant what I did last night. | 我是说昨天晚上我干啥了 |
| [06:14] | Oh. No. | 哦你啊 没兴趣 |
| [06:17] | Lyndsey wants to get back together. | 琳赛想和我复合 |
| [06:20] | C-cups. | C罩杯 |
| [06:21] | Right. Lyndsey. | 记得了琳赛 |
| [06:24] | She did split up with her ex-husband Chris. | 她的确跟她前夫分手了 |
| [06:26] | Said she realized she didn’t want to go backwards. | 她说她不想走回头路 |
| [06:28] | In what universe is dating you not going backwards? | 那跟你约会为什么就不算走回头路呢 |
| [06:32] | I know. This guy must be some kind of mess. | 没错 那家伙肯定是个极品之类的 |
| [06:37] | Breakfast, senor Harper? | 要吃早餐吗 哈勃 |
| [06:40] | Why is she saying breakfast? | 为什么她提到早餐 |
| [06:41] | Am I supposed to make her breakfast? | 不会是要我给她做早餐吧 |
| [06:43] | She’ll make it for you. | 她会帮你做 |
| [06:45] | Try the huevos rancheros– they’re amazing. | 试试她做的荷包蛋 超级好吃的 |
| [06:55] | -Muy bien. -Gracias. | -好的 -谢谢 |
| [06:57] | Where did you learn to speak Spanish? | 你去哪里学的西班牙文 |
| [07:00] | Junior high, high school, college | 初中 高中 大学 |
| [07:02] | two years of chiropractic school in Mexico. | 以及我在墨西哥读的两年脊椎按摩疗法学校 |
| [07:05] | You say that like I’m supposed to know. | 你说的好像我应该知道似地 |
| [07:08] | You are supposed to know. You’re my brother. | 你本来就应该知道 你是我哥哥 |
| [07:36] | What’s so funny? | 什么这么好笑 |
| [07:37] | Are you talking about me? | 你是在说我坏话吗 |
| [07:39] | She says she likes your hat. | 她说她喜欢你的帽子 |
| [07:47] | Alan! Come here, quick! | 艾伦 过来 快一点 |
| [07:50] | Please God, don’t let it be a dead girl. | 我求你了老天爷 千万别有女人死尸 |
| [07:57] | What is it? | 什么东西 |
| [07:59] | Open my door and tell me what you see. | 打开我的门 说说你看到了什么 |
| [08:01] | Why? What do you see? | 为什么 你看到什么 |
| [08:04] | Just look. | 你看就是了 |
| [08:06] | Are the flying monkeys back? | 是那些飞天猴子跑回来了吗 |
| [08:08] | Don’t joke about that, Alan. | 别乱开那东西的玩笑 艾伦 |
| [08:13] | Esmerelda did this? | 爱思玛莉达做的吗 |
| [08:15] | Can you believe it? | 你敢相信这一切吗 |
| [08:16] | The fresh cut flowers, | 刚采来的鲜花 |
| [08:17] | the carafe of lemon water. | 一大瓶柠檬水 |
| [08:18] | She even laid out my robe and slippers. | 她还把我的袍子跟拖鞋摆好了 |
| [08:20] | Since when do you have slippers? | 你什么时候有拖鞋了 |
| [08:21] | I don’t know. Is it possible she made them? | 我不知道 说不定是她手工做的 |
| [08:26] | – She put a chocolate on your pillow? – Yup. | -她在你枕头上放了巧克力吗 -没错 |
| [08:28] | See what it says? | 看到它写什么了吗 |
| [08:30] | “Felicidad.” | 欢乐 |
| [08:32] | That means “merry christmas,” right? | 是圣诞快乐的意思 对吧 |
| [08:33] | It means “happiness.” | 是欢乐的意思 |
| [08:35] | You sure? What about that song, uh, “felicidad navidas”? | 你确定吗 那首”欢庆缰绳”是怎么一回事 |
| [08:38] | “Feliz Navidad”? | 欢庆降生吗 |
| [08:40] | Tomato, tamale. | 大同小异啦 |
| [08:42] | The point is, | 重点是 |
| [08:43] | Esmerelda is a terrific housekeeper. | 爱思玛莉达是个棒极了的管家 |
| [08:46] | I didn’t get a chocolate. | 我没有拿到巧克力 |
| [08:47] | You’re not senor Harper. | 你不是哈勃先生 |
| [08:49] | I’m senor Harper. | 我是哈勃先生啊 |
| [08:50] | Yes, but not the senor Harper that pays her. | 是啊 可是你不是付钱给她的那位哈勃先生 |
| [08:54] | Come on, you got to see this. | 来吧 你得瞧瞧这个 |
| [08:56] | She still could have given me a chocolate. | 她至少还是可以给我一片巧克力的 |
| [08:58] | How much could it cost? | 那能花多少钱啊 |
| [09:00] | Look! | 你看 |
| [09:02] | That’s not a swan. | 那不是只天鹅 |
| [09:03] | That’s my towel. | 是我的毛巾 |
| [09:05] | Nice touch. | 很漂亮 |
| [09:07] | Had me fooled at first. | 一开始还把我骗倒了 |
| [09:08] | I tried to kill it. | 我还想要杀了它 |
| [09:11] | And look, | 还有 你看 |
| [09:13] | she folded my toilet paper into a little point. | 她把我的卫生纸折成了小箭头 |
| [09:15] | After breakfast, I used some, stood up, shaved, | 吃完早餐后 我用了点 然后起身去刮胡子 |
| [09:17] | and when I looked back, I swear it was pointed again. | 当我转头一看 又折成箭头形了 |
| [09:20] | Is that a votive candle? | 那是祈福蜡烛吗 |
| [09:22] | Yup. | 没错 |
| [09:23] | She’s praying that I have pleasant bowel movements. | 她祝我每次上大号都能舒畅愉快 |
| [09:25] | Oh, please. | 不是吧 |
| [09:27] | No, no, no, it’s working. | 不 不 不 那真的有效 |
| [09:28] | This morning, soft, firm, easy peasy. | 今早拉的 又软又扎实又舒畅 |
| [09:31] | But wait, there’s more. | 而且 还不只这些 |
| [09:33] | Come on. | 过来 |
| [09:37] | Tada! | 你瞧 |
| [09:39] | She bought you a new grill?! | 她买了新烧烤架给你了吗 |
| [09:41] | No, no, no, this is the old grill. | 不不不 这是我旧的烧烤架 |
| [09:43] | You know what she did? | 你知道她干嘛了吗 |
| [09:44] | – What? – She cleaned it. | -什么 -她把她清理干净了 |
| [09:46] | She cleaned the grill? | 她清理了这烤肉架吗 |
| [09:48] | Berta never cleans the grill. | 波塔从来没清理过这烧烤架 |
| [09:49] | Tell me about it. | 就是说啊 |
| [09:50] | She only comes out on the deck to smoke pot. | 她只有要抽大麻的时候才会出来这露台 |
| [09:52] | Senor Harper? | 哈勃先生 |
| [09:53] | Yes? | 怎么了 |
| [09:54] | She’s talking to me, Baba Looey. | 她是在跟我说话 巴巴鲁尼 |
| [09:57] | Yes? | 怎么啦 |
| [09:58] | Hell, yeah, botanas. | 当然好 零食 |
| [10:06] | What’s that mean, “screw you”? | 那是什么意思 是给我滚吗 |
| [10:08] | Basically. | 基本上是的 |
| [10:10] | I love this woman. | 我爱死这女人了 |
| [10:12] | Esmerelda, te amo. | 爱思玛莉达 我爱你 |
| [10:13] | Ay, senor. | 是 先生 |
| [10:15] | I thought you didn’t speak Spanish. | 我还以为你不会说西班牙文 |
| [10:16] | I don’t, but I do know how to say “I love you” | 我不会 不过我最少知道怎么用十七种语言 |
| [10:19] | and “How much for a happy ending?” In, like, 17 different languages. | 说我爱你 以及 多少钱才能共度春宵 |
| [10:21] | You’re kidding. | 你不是认真的吧 |
| [10:26] | In case you ever want to have a good time in Central Africa. | 以防你去中非的时候 需要想跟人一夜缠绵 |
| [10:37] | Alan, get that! | 艾伦 去开门 |
| [10:38] | Esmerelda’s giving me a pedicure! | 爱思玛莉达在帮我做脚底按摩 |
| [10:40] | Pedicure. I can’t even get a freakin’ chocolate. | 还脚底按摩 我连个巧克力都拿不到 |
| [10:45] | Hello, Alan. | 你好 艾伦 |
| [10:46] | Chris! Hey. | 克里斯 好啊 |
| [10:49] | Uh, what brings you by? | 什么风把你吹来这里了 |
| [10:50] | Well, Lyndsey mentioned that you two are dating again, | 琳赛有提到你们两个又开始约会了 |
| [10:52] | and I wanted to let you know | 我想让你知道 |
| [10:54] | that if I had to lose her, I’m glad it was to you. | 要是我一定得失去她 我很高兴是输在你手上 |
| [10:56] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:58] | How did you get my address? | 你怎么知道我的住址的 |
| [11:00] | Not important. | 那不重要 |
| [11:02] | Here, I brought you a little gift. | 拿去 这是我的一点心意 |
| [11:04] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [11:06] | Nothing in here’s gonna bite me, is it? | 里面不会有什么东西咬我吧 对吧 |
| [11:08] | Open it. | 打开 |
| [11:15] | Look at that. | 你瞧 |
| [11:16] | It’s a picture of Lyndsey and you. | 是你跟琳赛的合照 |
| [11:18] | Yeah. Look how happy we were. | 是啊 你看我们两多甜蜜 |
| [11:20] | We just found out she was pregnant. | 当时我们才刚发现她怀孕了 |
| [11:22] | It kind of looks like she’s glowing, but it’s really just | 她看起来容光焕发 不过其实那光 |
| [11:25] | the lights from the Ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier. | 来自圣塔莫尼卡港摩天轮上的灯光 |
| [11:27] | I-I can’t accept this. | 这 这礼我可不能接受 |
| [11:30] | Oh, I want you to have it. | 我要你拿着 |
| [11:32] | You need to see how happy Lyndsey made me, | 你要知道我跟琳赛在一起的时候有多开心 |
| [11:34] | so you can be that happy. | 这样你才能开心 |
| [11:36] | Okay, I’m not quite sure I follow the logic, | 好吧 这逻辑有点怪 |
| [11:38] | um, but-but thank you. | 不过 不过还是谢谢你 |
| [11:40] | See you around. | 回头见 |
| [11:43] | Ah, it’s too late, Alan. | 太迟了 艾伦 |
| [11:45] | You’re already dead. | 你已经死了 |
| [11:58] | Well, that was a bit disturbing. | 这还真别扭 |
| [12:05] | Okay, uh, one decaf grande soy chai latte | 一杯大杯的印第安拿铁 要豆奶 脱因 |
| [12:08] | with extra whipped cream. | 双份鲜奶油 |
| [12:09] | Uh, and a black coffee for the lady. | 再给这位美女来一杯黑咖啡 |
| [12:12] | Thank you. | 谢谢啊 |
| [12:13] | I don’t know how you drink that stuff. | 我真不知道你怎么能喝下那东西 |
| [12:15] | Back at you. | 你也一样 |
| [12:16] | – Name? – Uh, Alan. | -名字 -艾伦 |
| [12:18] | So, what’s so important that you didn’t want | 有什么事这么重要 |
| [12:21] | to talk about it on the phone? | 你都不肯在电话上说 |
| [12:22] | Oh, it’s not that it’s important, | 不是什么重要的事 |
| [12:23] | uh, it’s just that it’s… | 只不过 |
| [12:24] | Alan, if you dragged me down here | 艾伦 你要是大老远把我拉到这来 |
| [12:26] | to break up with me, I will murder you. | 就是为了跟我分手的话 我会杀了你的 |
| [12:28] | Oh, no, nobody’s breaking up. | 不 谁说要分手了 |
| [12:30] | But, uh, speaking of murder, | 但是说到杀人 |
| [12:32] | I saw your ex-husband yesterday. | 我昨天见到你前夫了 |
| [12:34] | I’m sorry, “speaking of murder”? | 你说什么 “说到杀人” |
| [12:37] | Oh, oh, maybe I should back up a little. | 好 我从头给你讲 |
| [12:38] | Um, Chris showed up at my house and handed me | 克里斯昨天到我家来了 他给了我一张 |
| [12:42] | what I consider to be a very inappropriate photo of you two. | 你们俩比较私人的照片 |
| [12:45] | That bastard! | 那个混蛋 |
| [12:47] | He told me he threw those pictures away. | 他跟我说他把那些照片扔了的 |
| [12:49] | Okay, I-I don’t think we’re talking about the same pictures. | 好吧 我想咱俩说的不是一类照片 |
| [12:53] | Uh, but the point is, before he left, he shot at me. | 重点是 他走之前给了我一枪 |
| [12:57] | He shot at you? | 他给了你一枪 |
| [12:59] | Oh, not with a gun, with his finger. | 不是用真枪 是用手指 |
| [13:00] | But the implication was pretty darn clear. | 但是他的意图很明确 |
| [13:02] | Okay, let me get this straight. | 好吧 我先问清楚 |
| [13:04] | I wasn’t naked in the picture? | 他给你的不是我的裸照吧 |
| [13:06] | No, you were at the Santa Monica Pier. | 不是 是你俩在圣塔莫尼卡码头照的 |
| [13:10] | But not naked, right? | 不是裸照 对吧 |
| [13:12] | Right. | 不是 |
| [13:13] | Uh, but again, my concern here | 但是我担心的是 |
| [13:14] | is that your ex-husband seems to be threatening me. | 你的前夫好像是在恐吓我 |
| [13:17] | Oh, Chris is harmless. | 克里斯没那个本事 |
| [13:19] | His bark is way worse than his bite. | 他就是雷声大雨点小 |
| [13:21] | So you’re saying he does bite? | 但还是有雨点的对吧 |
| [13:23] | Alan, you have nothing to worry about. | 艾伦 你用不着担心 |
| [13:25] | And if it’ll make you feel better, | 要是能让你放心的话 |
| [13:26] | I’ll talk to Chris next time I see him. | 我下次见到克里斯会跟他谈的 |
| [13:28] | – Talk to me about what? – What the hell?! | -跟我谈什么 -搞什么 |
| [13:32] | How long have you been sitting there? | 你在这坐了多久了 |
| [13:34] | I just got here. | 我刚到 |
| [13:35] | I was gonna come say hi, | 我本来想去打招呼的 |
| [13:37] | but I thought it was a little creepy — | 可后来一想觉得有点怪 |
| [13:38] | ex-husband, new boyfriend. | 又是前夫又是新男友的 |
| [13:40] | Are you following us? | 你在跟踪我们吗 |
| [13:41] | No. I just stopped in to have a cup of coffee. | 没有 我只是进来喝杯咖啡 |
| [13:44] | You live on the other side of town. | 你住在镇那头好不好 |
| [13:46] | But I like the coffee here. | 但是我喜欢这里的咖啡 |
| [13:49] | Okay, I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, | 好吧 我不知道你到底想干吗 |
| [13:51] | but it needs to stop right now. | 但是你最好现在就给我罢手 |
| [13:53] | Uh, I’ve got this, Lyndsey. | 我来就好了 琳赛 |
| [13:55] | Now…listen up, pal. | 你现在 给我听好了 伙计 |
| [13:59] | I’m dating your ex-wife, | 我跟你的前妻在一起 |
| [14:01] | and there’s nothing you can do about it. | 你一点辄也没有 |
| [14:04] | Do you understand me? | 听明白了吗 |
| [14:05] | Police! Police! | 叫警察 叫警察 |
| [14:08] | Calm down. | 冷静点 |
| [14:09] | Chris, get out of here. | 克里斯 离开这 |
| [14:11] | I’m leaving. | 我就走 |
| [14:14] | Oh, Alan. | 对了 艾伦 |
| [14:15] | What? | 干吗 |
| [14:16] | See you around. | 回头见 |
| [14:18] | See? See? | 看见没 看见没 |
| [14:18] | He shot me again! | 他又给了我一枪 |
| [14:20] | Calm down. | 冷静点 |
| [14:21] | Calm down?! This guy is crazy. | 怎么冷静 这家伙都疯的 |
| [14:23] | We need get a restraining order or something. | 我们要申请个限制令什么的 |
| [14:24] | I don’t think that’s necessary. | 我觉得没这个必要 |
| [14:25] | Of course it’s necessary. | 当然有必要 |
| [14:27] | This is unacceptable behavior, and I am not putting up with it. | 他太过分了 我不会就这么忍了的 |
| [14:30] | In fact, forget the restraining order. | 限制令还是算了吧 |
| [14:31] | I’m gonna pay him a visit and make it crystal clear | 我要亲自去找他 然后跟他说清楚 |
| [14:33] | that he is messing with the wrong guy. | 让他知道他惹错了人 |
| [14:35] | Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [14:36] | Police! Police! | 叫警察 叫警察 |
| [14:41] | Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. | 来了 来了 来了 |
| [14:44] | Breakfast time. | 早饭时间 |
| [14:46] | Esmerelda’s huevos rancheros… | 爱思玛莉达做的墨西哥煎蛋 |
| [14:47] | Oh, Berta! | 波塔 |
| [14:50] | I thought you were at a family reunion. | 你不是去参加家庭聚会了吗 |
| [14:52] | Came home early. | 提早回来了 |
| [14:53] | Turns out, I don’t like my family. | 发现我不怎么喜欢我家人 |
| [14:55] | So you came back. | 这么说你回来了 |
| [14:59] | So Esmerelda’s not coming in anymore? | 那爱思玛莉达就不来了吗 |
| [15:02] | No, I called her. | 不来了 我打过电话给她了 |
| [15:04] | She didn’t mess things up too bad, did she? | 她没把这弄得一团糟吧 |
| [15:06] | No, no, no. I mean, she’s not you, | 没 没 当然了 她不及你 |
| [15:07] | so there was a little adjustment. | 所以有些小小的调整 |
| [15:11] | What’s that you’re eating? | 你在吃什么 |
| [15:13] | Western omelette. | 西式煎蛋 |
| [15:14] | Oh. Looks good. | 看起来不错 |
| [15:16] | It is. | 的确不错 |
| [15:17] | Which reminds me, you’re out of eggs. | 正好提醒我 你家鸡蛋吃完了 |
| [15:20] | Charlie? | 查理 |
| [15:21] | In here. | 在这 |
| [15:22] | Staring at me while I eat | 你这样一直盯着我吃饭 |
| [15:24] | is making me very uncomfortable. | 让我很不自在 |
| [15:27] | I’m sorry, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [15:29] | Charlie, I’ve got a problem. | 查理 我遇到麻烦了 |
| [15:31] | How about that, | 真是稀奇呀 |
| [15:32] | the problem’s got a problem. | 麻烦鬼还找上麻烦了 |
| [15:34] | Berta’s back. | 波塔回来了 |
| [15:37] | I’m going somewhere I can eat in peace. | 我找个静点的地方吃去了 |
| [15:40] | I thought my family was annoying. | 我还以为我家人就够烦的了呢 |
| [15:43] | Can you believe it? | 你能相信吗 |
| [15:44] | Esmerelda’s gone. | 爱思玛莉达就不来了 |
| [15:45] | Yeah, boo-hoo. | 是啊 这有什么 |
| [15:46] | Lyndsey’s ex-husband threatened to kill me. | 琳赛的前任老公还威胁着要杀我呢 |
| [15:49] | How is that a bigger problem | 跟我要自己做早餐比起来 |
| [15:50] | than me having to make my own breakfast? | 你这点鸟事算得了啥 |
| [15:51] | I’m serious, Charlie. | 说真的 查理 |
| [15:53] | He’s crazy. | 他就一疯子 |
| [15:54] | Well, of course he’s crazy. | 他当然是疯子了 |
| [15:55] | He’s an ex-husband. | 他是别人的前任老公 |
| [15:55] | The two words go together. | 前任老公有几个不疯的 |
| [15:57] | “Crazy ex-husband.” | “疯狂的前任老公” |
| [15:58] | I’m an ex-husband. | 我也是啊 |
| [15:59] | There you go. | 这不就结了 |
| [16:01] | Now, what are we gonna do about Esmerelda? | 爱思玛莉达怎么办 |
| [16:02] | I mean, it’s not like I can fire Berta. | 我又不能把波塔给炒了 |
| [16:03] | Sure you can. Frankly, I never cared for the woman. | 想炒就炒呗 反正我无所谓 |
| [16:06] | What am I gonna do about Chris? | 我该怎么对付克里斯 |
| [16:08] | I don’t want to lose Lyndsey; I love her. | 我也不想失去琳赛 我那么爱她 |
| [16:09] | And I love huevos rancheros | 我也爱墨西哥式煎蛋 |
| [16:11] | and chocolate “felicidadas” on my pillow. | 和枕头上的”幸胡”巧克力啊[应该是”幸福”牌] |
| [16:14] | Okay, we seem to be talking at cross purposes here. | 我看我们说的不是一件事吧 |
| [16:16] | ‘Cause you’re not focusing on the real issue. | 那是因为你不知道什么才是重点 |
| [16:19] | I’ve just lost the best housekeeper since… | 我失去了我的”爱仆” 再也找不着像… |
| [16:22] | Wilma Flintstone. | 威玛·弗林特斯那么好的人了 |
| [16:25] | What the hell? | 什么啊 |
| [16:27] | What was that? | 什么破玩意儿 |
| [16:28] | A rock. | 是块石头 |
| [16:29] | It’s got to be Chris. | 肯定是克里斯 |
| [16:32] | How can you be sure? | 你咋知道的 |
| [16:33] | Who else would throw a rock at me? | 谁还会扔石头砸我啊 |
| [16:34] | Good point. I’m here and Mom’s out of town. | 也是啊 不是我 而且老妈又在外地 |
| [16:37] | I ain’t cleaning that up. | 我是不会打扫的 |
| [16:49] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [16:50] | Hello? | 哪位啊 |
| [17:01] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [17:03] | Hello?! | 谁啊 |
| [17:05] | Okay, whoever this is, | 听着 不管是谁 |
| [17:07] | you should know that you’re not scaring me. | 你都吓不了我的 |
| [17:17] | Esmerelda! | 爱思玛莉达 |
| [17:17] | Come on in. | 快进来 |
| [17:19] | Buenas noches, Senor Harper. | 晚安 哈勃先生 |
| [17:22] | 真是意外 您居然还雇我 波塔说你不再需要人了 | |
| [17:26] | Yeah, yeah, me, too. | 是啊 我也意外啊 |
| [17:29] | Esmerelda? | 爱思玛莉达 |
| [17:31] | Oh, como esta, Senor Alan? | 你还好吗 艾伦先生 |
| [17:33] | Muy bien. | 非常好啊 |
| [17:34] | Charlie, what’s going on? | 查理 这又是哪一出啊 |
| [17:36] | Excusez-moi. | 失陪一下[查理误用为法语] |
| [17:38] | From now on, Berta will be our day housekeeper | 从现在开始 波塔上早班 |
| [17:42] | and Esmerelda will be our night housekeeper. | 爱思玛莉达上晚班 |
| [17:45] | Capiche? | 明白没 |
| [17:46] | Does Berta know? | 那波塔知道吗 |
| [17:47] | Berta doesn’t need to know. | 没必要让她知道啊 |
| [17:49] | Uh-huh. So what’s she gonna think when she comes back | 哦 那等她早上来了 |
| [17:51] | and she sees the pointed toilet paper and the swan towels? | 看到叠得尖尖的厕纸和天鹅造型的毛巾怎么办 |
| [17:53] | Way ahead of you. | 我早想到啦 |
| [17:54] | I’ll just un-swan and un-point everything | 在她来之前 我把厕纸和毛巾都弄乱 |
| [17:56] | before she gets here. | 不就行了吗 |
| [17:58] | Then why do it? | 为何多此一举 |
| [17:59] | I mean, is it worth the trouble | 你觉得有必要这么 |
| [18:01] | to sneak around behind Berta’s back? | 躲着波塔搞这些吗 |
| [18:02] | I know it’s crazy, but… | 我知道是疯狂了点 但… |
| [18:05] | …the woman makes me happy. | …有她我就有快乐啊 |
| [18:10] | Botanas, Senor Harper? | 哈伯先生 需要点心吗 |
| [18:11] | Oh, si… vous plais. | 那就麻…烦啦[又用成法语 囧] |
| [18:17] | How about that? | 这不是挺好吗 |
| [18:18] | I’m even starting to pick up the language. | 我都可以学一门外语啦 |
| [18:20] | It’s a shame the language is French. | 但只可惜那是法语 |
| [18:34] | Alan, relax. If Chris wanted to kill you, | 艾伦 别紧张啊 如果克里斯想杀你 |
| [18:37] | he’d just climb through your window while you’re sleeping | 他会直接翻窗户进来 趁着你睡觉 |
| [18:39] | and smother you with a pillow. | 用枕头捂死你 |
| [18:42] | Thank you, that’s very helpful. | 我谢你了啊 你真会安慰人 |
| [18:43] | At least, that’s how I always imagined doing it. | 至少 我一直以来就是这么打算的 |
| [18:45] | You rat bastard. | 你个狗杂种 |
| [18:49] | Berta! | 波塔 |
| [18:51] | It’s not what it looks like. | 不是你想的那样 |
| [18:53] | Is that so? | 是吗 |
| [18:54] | Then what is it? | 那这算什么 |
| [18:56] | Uh… it’s purely sexual. | 我们只是性关系 |
| [19:01] | I’m not stupid, Charlie. | 查理 我又不傻 |
| [19:02] | I know when I’m being two-timed. | 不会被卖了还帮然数钱 |
| [19:04] | Charlie, I’m shocked. | 查理 真有你的啊 |
| [19:06] | Shocked! | 我震精了 |
| [19:07] | Berta, I-I had no idea this was going… | 波塔 这和我一点关系也没有 |
| [19:09] | Stay out of it, Zippy! | 你别插手 活宝 |
| [19:10] | I’m out. | 我走了 |
| [19:13] | So what do you have to say for yourself? | 那你还有什么好解释的 |
| [19:14] | Berta, I am… I am so sorry. | 波塔 我…实在是对不起你 |
| [19:16] | I got carried away, but I think if we all sit down like adults | 是我头脑发热了 但咱们为何不坐下来谈谈 |
| [19:18] | and talk this through, we can make it work. | 看这事到底怎么解决 |
| [19:20] | It’s either me or her. | 干脆点 我还是她 |
| [19:22] | Oh, please don’t make me choose. | 天哪 不要让我这么为难 |
| [19:24] | Berta, I love you both. | 波塔 我爱你们俩啊 |
| [19:25] | Good-bye, Charlie. | 那我走了 查理 |
| [19:26] | No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 不要啊 等等 等等 |
| [19:34] | It’s you, Berta. | 波塔 我选你 |
| [19:36] | It’s always been you. | 我的选择永远是你 |
| [19:39] | I’m sorry. | 对不起了 |
| [19:41] | It’s just not our time. | 看来咱俩生不逢时了 |
| [19:44] | Please tell her how sorry I am. | 替我向她转达歉意 |
| [19:51] | 没什么的 反正他也活不长了 你看到他的小便是啥颜色了没 | |
| [20:01] | Adios, Senor Harper. | 拜啦 哈勃先生 |
| [20:05] | Arrivederci, Esmerelda. | 爱思玛莉达 再见了[又变成意大利语了] |
| [20:09] | Okay, then. | 那就这样了 |
| [20:10] | I’ll see you tomorrow. | 明天见 |
| [20:12] | Good, good. | 好的 好的 |
| [20:13] | I’ll be late. | 我会迟到的 |
| [20:14] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [20:16] | You might want to clean that hair | 在我来之前 你记得 |
| [20:17] | up off the floor before I get in. | 把那几戳头发清理干净 |
| [20:19] | – Sure, I’m on it. – Okay. | -没问题 我这就打扫 -那就好 |
| [20:28] | Oh, Esmerelda. | 爱思玛莉达 |
| [20:33] | No. | 不行 |
| [20:35] | No, I can’t let her go. | 我不能让她就这么走了 |
| [20:42] | Oh, hey, Chris. | 你来啦 克里斯 |
| [20:43] | Pillows on the couch, Alan’s in his room. | 枕头在沙发上 艾伦在房里 |
| [20:45] | Esmerelda! | 爱思玛莉达 |