| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Hello. | 各位好 |
| [00:08] | I’m Charlie’s brother Alan. | 我是查理的弟弟艾伦 |
| [00:10] | I want to thank you all for coming. | 感谢各位的光临 |
| [00:12] | I know this is | 我知道对各位而言 |
| [00:13] | a very sad day for all of us. | 今天是个悲伤的日子 |
| [00:15] | Speak for yourself. | 有话快说有屁快放 |
| [00:18] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [00:20] | Uh, I understand that some of you have “mixed feelings.” | 我能理解各位现在百感交集 |
| [00:25] | Um… but I think we can all agree | 但是我们必须承认 |
| [00:29] | that Charlie lived life to its fullest | 查理是一个性情中人 |
| [00:31] | and-and gave it everything he had. | 他给予了他能给予的一切 |
| [00:33] | Gave me herpes. | 给了我疱疹 |
| [00:37] | Chlamydia. | 给了我衣原体病毒 |
| [00:39] | Vaginal warts. | 我的是阴道疣 |
| [00:42] | Excuse me, this is my dead son we’re talking about. | 拜托各位 你们说的是我英年早逝的爱子 |
| [00:45] | I loved him and I’m devastated that he’s gone, | 我深爱他 为他的去世伤心欲绝 |
| [00:49] | leaving me with nothing but my memories and my regrets | 除了记忆和遗憾外他什么都没留给我 |
| [00:53] | and the listing for his beautiful beachfront | 当然了还有一套马里布的海景别墅 |
| [00:55] | Malibu getaway with three bedrooms | 有三间卧室 |
| [00:57] | and three and a half baths | 三个半的浴室 |
| [00:58] | and a beautiful panoramic ocean view. | 还有无敌海景 |
| [01:02] | Help yourselves to brochures out by the coffee urn. | 记得索取咖啡壶边的销售小册子 |
| [01:07] | Thank you, Mom. | 我谢您了 老妈 |
| [01:08] | Um, anyway… | 对了 |
| [01:10] | Open house is Sunday, 1:00 to 5:00. | 房子的参观开放时间是周日一点到五点 |
| [01:14] | Okay. | 差不多了吧 |
| [01:16] | Um, I’d like to take a moment to talk about my brother, | 我想借此机会谈谈我的兄长 |
| [01:20] | um, and his incredible love for life. | 还有他对生活的热爱 |
| [01:23] | He also loved being spanked. | 他还热爱被我打屁屁 |
| [01:25] | While wearing my panties. | 穿我的小裤裤 |
| [01:29] | He used my panties to make tea. | 用我的小裤裤沏茶 |
| [01:36] | M-My point is, um, that Charlie lived life on his own terms | 我的意思是 查理以自己的方式生活着 |
| [01:41] | and-and never apologized for who he was. | 而且他从不后悔自己的生活方式 |
| [01:44] | Yeah, blah, blah, blah. | 行了吧 叽歪够了 |
| [01:46] | Why can’t we see the body? | 为什么我们不能看看遗体 |
| [01:49] | Yeah, I didn’t come all this way to spit on a closed coffin. | 我大老远来的 可不想只把口水吐在棺材盖上 |
| [01:51] | Okay, I understand how you feel, | 我理解你的心情 |
| [01:54] | but unfortunately due to the circumstances of his passing, | 但不幸的是 因为天气原因 |
| [01:57] | the remains aren’t exactly… spit-able. | 他的遗体就不适宜您吐口水了 |
| [02:01] | I have a question. | 我有个问题 |
| [02:03] | O-Okay. | 各位 |
| [02:05] | Uh, I wasn’t planning on doing a Q and A, | 我这里不是问答会 |
| [02:08] | uh, but go ahead. | 但还是请问 |
| [02:09] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:10] | Charlie owes me $38,000 for some, | 查理买的那个 就说是医疗用品吧 |
| [02:13] | let’s say, pharmaceuticals. | 还欠了我三万八千块 |
| [02:16] | Who do I talk to about that? | 我管谁要钱呢 |
| [02:19] | Uh, well, I think that’s something | 我想这种事 |
| [02:21] | you’ll have to discuss with the lawyers. | 你就和他律师谈吧 |
| [02:23] | Yeah. | 好吧 |
| [02:24] | I’d rather not involve the law. | 好像我很喜欢和律师搅和到一起一样 |
| [02:26] | And now, uh, I thought we’d take this moment | 下面 我们借此机会 |
| [02:30] | to hear from the person who was with Charlie at the end. | 让临终时刻陪伴在查理身边的亲人讲几句 |
| [02:44] | Thank you, Alan. | 谢谢艾伦 |
| [02:47] | Charlie Harper was the love of my life | 查理·哈勃是我今生最爱 |
| [02:50] | and a wonderful, wonderful man. | 一个无比出色的男人 |
| [02:52] | Selfish pig. | 自私的蠢猪 |
| [02:56] | Sure, our relationship had its ups and downs | 我们之间的感情总是起起伏伏 |
| [02:59] | and the occasional restraining order. | 有时候我还因为禁制令不能接近他 |
| [03:02] | But at the end, | 但最终 |
| [03:03] | we ran away together to Paris, where he asked me to marry him. | 我们一起到了巴黎 在那里他向我求婚 |
| [03:08] | I said yes. | 我同意了 |
| [03:10] | And the next few days were the happiest of my life. | 接下来的几天是我生命中最开心的日子 |
| [03:14] | Nothing could spoil it. | 没什么能磨灭那段记忆 |
| [03:16] | Not even when I came home from shopping | 即便是我血拼回来 |
| [03:18] | and found him taking a shower with another woman. | 发现他和别的女人洗鸳鸯浴也不能磨灭 |
| [03:21] | That’s our Charlie. | 这才是查理 |
| [03:26] | But I forgave him | 我宽恕了他 |
| [03:29] | because I loved him unconditionally. | 因为我是无条件的爱他 |
| [03:32] | So you can imagine my horror when, the very next day, | 所以当转天他在地铁的站台上摔下去 |
| [03:35] | he slipped on the Metro platform | 撞在驶来的地铁的时候 |
| [03:37] | and fell in front of an oncoming train. | 各位是可以想象我有多么的恐惧 |
| [03:41] | Never cross a crazy woman. | 千万别惹疯女人 |
| [03:43] | I just want you all to know that Charlie didn’t suffer. | 我想告诉各位 查理死的没有痛苦 |
| [03:48] | His body just exploded like a balloon full of meat. | 他的身体就像一个里面塞满肉的气球一样炸开 |
| [03:53] | Thank you. | 谢谢各位 |
| [04:00] | I’m hungry. | 我饿了 |
| [04:01] | Anyone else hungry? | 大家饿了没 |
| [04:17] | Charlie was the best boss I ever had. | 我从来没遇到查理这么好的老板 |
| [04:21] | I needed a day off, “Sure, Berta, no problem.” | 我要休息一天他就说 没问题波塔 |
| [04:24] | I needed a couple | 我想 |
| [04:25] | extra bucks, | 多要点米米 |
| [04:27] | “Sure, Berta, no problem.” | 他还是说 没问题波塔 |
| [04:29] | All he ever asked in return was clean sheets | 他要求的不过是干净的床单 |
| [04:32] | and hosing the vomit off the occasional drug-addled hooker. | 偶尔照顾呕吐的瘾君子妓女 |
| [04:40] | What a beautiful story. | 真是个动人的故事 |
| [04:43] | Can I count on you to keep the house clean till I sell it? | 我能不能指望你在房子卖之前打扫卫生 |
| [04:46] | Can I count on you to keep paying me? | 我能不能指望你继续付我工资 |
| [04:48] | Well, there’s virtually no money in Charlie’s estate, | 尽管查理没留下什么钱 |
| [04:51] | but I’ll be happy to pay you once the house sells. | 但是我愿意在房子卖之前一直付你工资 |
| [04:53] | Then that’s when I’ll clean it. | 那我就会打扫的 |
| [04:56] | I still don’t see why we have to sell. | 我实在不明白为啥一定要卖掉 |
| [04:58] | I mean, he left it to me. | 他把房子留给我 |
| [04:59] | Obviously, he wanted me to have it. | 就是希望我能拥有 |
| [05:00] | Can you make the mortgage payments? No. | -你付得起按揭吗 -付不起 |
| [05:03] | Can you pay the property tax? | 不动产税呢 |
| [05:04] | Not per se. | 也付不起 |
| [05:06] | But I was kind of hoping you’d help out. | 但我有点希望你能帮忙 |
| [05:09] | I mean, after all, your grandson lives here part-time. | 我是说 毕竟你的孙子有时也住这 |
| [05:15] | Good job raising him. | 教养的不错 |
| [05:18] | Uh, darling, I can’t afford to maintain my house | 亲爱的 我可没法同时供我的 |
| [05:22] | and your house at the same time. | 和你的房子 |
| [05:24] | But you’re my mommy. | 但你是我妈 |
| [05:25] | Good job raising him. | 教养的不错 |
| [05:30] | Once I sell this place, you can come live with me. | 一旦我卖了这房子 你可以跟我一起住 |
| [05:33] | But why would I have to? | 我有必要去吗 |
| [05:35] | I mean, won’t I get a lot of money from the sale? | 我是指 卖房我不能分一大笔钱吗 |
| [05:37] | Oh, please. Charlie had three mortgages on this place. | 拜托 查理这房有三笔抵押贷款 |
| [05:40] | Once we deduct closing costs and escrow fees | 一旦扣除手续费和托管费 |
| [05:43] | and my commission, you’ll be lucky to break even. | 还有我的佣金 你能不赚不赔就算走运了 |
| [05:45] | Wait a minute, you’re planning to take a commission? | 等下 你还打算收佣金 |
| [05:47] | She doesn’t work for free. | 她可不是义务劳动 |
| [05:48] | Why should I? | 凭什么我白干 |
| [05:52] | Don’t think those silent ones are fooling anybody. | 不要认为沉默的人在愚弄所有人 |
| [06:01] | Hi. I’m here for the open house. | 嗨 我来看房 |
| [06:03] | Of course. Come right in. | 好的 进来吧 |
| [06:04] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [06:05] | Three bedrooms, three and a half baths, | 三房 三浴室一卫生间 |
| [06:08] | 60 feet of prime Malibu oceanfront. | 20米的马里布私家海滩 |
| [06:11] | Wait a minute, I know this place. | 等一下 我知道这个地方 |
| [06:13] | This is Charlie Harper’s place, right? | 这是查理·哈勃的房子 对吧 |
| [06:15] | It was. | 以前是 |
| [06:16] | Then I can’t buy it. | 那我不能买 |
| [06:18] | What? Why? | 什么 为什么 |
| [06:19] | Bad memories. | 糟糕的回忆 |
| [06:21] | Charlie and I had this | 我和查理就在这沙发上 |
| [06:22] | drunken threesome with a crazy chick right on this couch. | 跟一疯狂小妞喝醉了玩3P |
| [06:25] | Sounds like a good memory. | 听起来像美好的回忆 |
| [06:26] | Yeah, well, unfortunately she passed out | 很不幸的 她晕过去了 |
| [06:28] | and Charlie and I kept going without her. | 剩下我和查理两个人继续 |
| [06:32] | Bad memory. | 糟糕的回忆 |
| [06:34] | Oh, the feng shui is great. | 这里风水不错 |
| [06:37] | I mean, the place just oozes positive energy. | 我是说 这地方散发出正面能量 |
| [06:41] | 情景喜剧《老公老婆不登对》男女主角 “Dharma & Greg”同样是查克·罗瑞作品 | |
| [06:44] | It’s not practical. | 这不实际 |
| [06:45] | The commute downtown would kill me. | 往返市中心的交通会要我的命 |
| [06:47] | Don’t worry, sweetie. | 别担心 亲爱的 |
| [06:49] | Just let the universe provide. | 只管接受宇宙的馈赠 |
| [06:50] | The universe doesn’t provide, I provide. | 宇宙没馈赠 我馈赠的 |
| [06:52] | I bust my ass 80 hours a week. | 我一周工作80小时 |
| [06:56] | Sounds like somebody needs to meditate. | 看来某人需要冥想了 |
| [06:59] | Sounds like somebody needs to file for divorce. | 某人听起来需要申请离婚 |
| [07:02] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [07:03] | You want to play that card? | 你真想用这招吗 |
| [07:04] | ‘Cause I will take you and your uptight bourgeois family | 我可会拿走你和你那小布尔乔亚家庭 |
| [07:07] | for every penny you’ve got. | 所拥有的一分一毫 |
| [07:09] | Bye-bye! | 拜拜 |
| [07:13] | Bye-bye! | 拜拜 |
| [07:18] | What a fun couple. | 多有趣的一对 |
| [07:24] | Sorry, the open house is over. | 抱歉 参观时间过了 |
| [07:26] | I got a package for Alan Harper. | 有个快递给艾伦·哈勃的 |
| [07:29] | Oh, uh, that’s me. | 我就是 |
| [07:30] | Sign here. | 签这里 |
| [07:31] | Ooh, how exciting. | 多令人兴奋 |
| [07:35] | Wonder what it is. | 猜猜这是什么 |
| [07:36] | It’s from a crematorium, | 是火葬场寄来的 |
| [07:38] | so that kind of narrows it down. | 所以貌似范围不大 |
| [07:41] | That’s, uh, that’s my brother. | 那是 那是我哥 |
| [07:44] | Berta, Charlie’s here! | 波塔 查理回来了 |
| [07:47] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [07:49] | Enjoy. | 慢用 |
| [08:23] | here we are, buddy. | 老兄 又见面了 |
| [08:27] | Just like old times, huh? | 还是像以前一样 |
| [08:30] | I’m talking and you’re in a bottle ignoring me. | 我在说话 而你躲进瓶子里无视我 |
| [08:38] | I, uh, I wanted to tell you, uh, that I loved you, | 我 我想跟你说 我爱你 |
| [08:42] | and I will miss you, | 还有我会想你 |
| [08:46] | and I will always be grateful for you taking Jake and me in, | 我会一直感激你收留我和杰克 |
| [08:51] | letting us live here all these years. | 让我们这些年住在这里 |
| [08:56] | So, now the question is… | 所以 现在的问题是 |
| [09:00] | what do we do with you? | 我们怎么处置你呢 |
| [09:03] | I know what you said you wanted, but… | 我知道你想要什么 但是 |
| [09:07] | I really don’t think Pamela Anderson will agree | 我真的认为帕米拉·安德森(《花花公子》封面女郎)不会同意 |
| [09:09] | to swallow your ashes. | 吸食你的骨灰 |
| [09:14] | Um, I-I could take you with me to live at Mom’s, | 我可以带着你去老妈那里住 |
| [09:17] | but that’s how horror movies start. | 但恐怖电影多半都是这么开始的 |
| [09:25] | Maybe I could sprinkle you on the beach. | 也许我可以把你撒在沙滩上 |
| [09:28] | I mean, it’s simple, it’s dignified, | 我的意思是 这样很简单 又庄严 |
| [09:31] | and pretty girls covered with oil | 还有擦满油的美女们 |
| [09:32] | will be sitting on you all day. | 将会整天坐在你上面 |
| [09:36] | Kind of like your life. | 有点像你的人生 |
| [09:40] | Except for the dignified part. | 除了庄严那部分 |
| [09:45] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [09:49] | Well… | 嗯 |
| [09:54] | I guess now is as good a time as any. | 我想选日不如撞日 |
| [10:10] | I ain’t cleaning him up. | 我不会打扫他的 |
| [10:18] | Can I use your phone? | 我能用你的电话吗 |
| [10:20] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [10:22] | I guess. | 可以吧 |
| [10:24] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [10:26] | Yeah, I’m fine. | 是 我没事 |
| [10:27] | I was just trying to drown myself. | 我刚刚想淹死自己 |
| [10:30] | Wait, you-you tried to commit suicide? | 等等 你 你想自杀? |
| [10:32] | Yeah. But I had no idea that the water would be that cold. | 是 但我没想到水会这么冷 |
| [10:37] | Suppose I could’ve worn a wet suit, | 我想过穿件紧身潜水衣 |
| [10:38] | but who tries to commit suicide in a wet suit, right? | 但谁会穿着潜水衣去自杀 对吧 |
| [10:43] | That phone right there? | 电话在这吧 |
| [10:43] | Oh, yeah, yeah. | 对 对 |
| [10:44] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:46] | Uh, you got a towel? | 有浴巾吗 |
| [10:48] | Oh, sure. | 当然了 |
| [10:49] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [10:56] | Hi. It’s me. | 嗨 是我 |
| [11:00] | I want you to know that I just flung myself in the ocean | 我想让你知道我刚才跳海了 |
| [11:02] | ’cause I can’t live without you. | 因为我不能没有你 |
| [11:06] | No, I’m not calling you from the ocean. | 我不是在海里给你打电话 |
| [11:10] | Because it was cold. | 因为太冷了 |
| [11:12] | I don’t… I’m in some guy’s house. | 我不是在… 我在别人家里 |
| [11:15] | Um, Alan Harper. | 嗯 艾伦·哈勃 |
| [11:16] | I am in Alan Harper’s house. | 我在艾伦·哈勃的家里 |
| [11:19] | How about it? Will you take me back? | 这样还不行吗 咱们言归于好吧 |
| [11:22] | Are you sure? | 你确定? |
| [11:24] | You heard what I said about the ocean, right? | 你听到我刚才说跳海了吗 |
| [11:30] | Okay, fine. I’ll stop bothering you. | 好的 我不烦你了 |
| [11:32] | But I want you to know that I will love you forever and ever. | 我只想让你知道我永远永远爱你 |
| [11:36] | Really? | 真的? |
| [11:37] | That bothers you? | 这让你烦嘛 |
| [11:42] | Okay. Bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [11:46] | You got a wet suit? | 你有潜水衣吗 |
| [11:47] | Oh, come on. It… it can’t be that bad. | 别这样 事情没那么糟 |
| [11:50] | It could be. You don’t know. | 会的 你不懂 |
| [11:53] | No, no, I do. | 我懂 我知道 |
| [11:55] | Come on. Come on. Sit down. Sit down. | 来 来 坐 坐 |
| [11:56] | Listen. | 听着 |
| [11:58] | I have been where you are– | 我也曾像你这样 |
| [12:01] | uh, rejected, friendless, broke. | 被人拒绝 没有朋友 破产 |
| [12:04] | I’m not broke. | 我没破产 |
| [12:05] | I’m worth, like, a billion dollars. | 我的身价大概10亿美元 |
| [12:08] | Beg pardon? | 什么 |
| [12:10] | 1.3 is what her lawyer says, but I would give up every penny | 我的律师说我大概有13亿美元 但我愿意放弃我的所有财产 |
| [12:13] | if she would take me back. | 只要她能与我复合 |
| [12:16] | No, no, no. You don’t want to do that. | 不 不 不 你不需要这样 |
| [12:19] | Uh… I think you can find a lot of girls for way less money. | 我想你花很少的钱就能泡到很多女孩子 |
| [12:23] | I don’t want other girls. | 我不要其他的女孩子 |
| [12:24] | I want Bridget. | 我只要布里奇特 |
| [12:26] | Right. Right. | 好 好 |
| [12:27] | Um, just to clarify, um, | 只想弄清楚 |
| [12:29] | did you say “billion” with a “buh?” | 你说的”亿”是单人旁的”亿”吗 |
| [12:34] | Listen, trust me. | 听着 相信我 |
| [12:35] | Money does not buy happiness. | 钱买不到快乐 |
| [12:37] | I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had either. | 我不知道 我从来没有过 |
| [12:41] | Come on. You’re doing all right. | 你不是挺好吗 |
| [12:43] | You’re living in a beach house in Malibu. | 住着马里布海滩的别墅 |
| [12:45] | I have to sell it. | 我得卖了它 |
| [12:46] | And it’s not even mine; it’s his. | 而且也不是我的 他的 |
| [12:50] | His? | 他的? |
| [12:51] | That’s my dead brother. | 这是我死去的哥哥 |
| [12:55] | I’m sorry I made you spill him. | 我很抱歉我害你把他撒了一地 |
| [12:58] | That’s okay. That’s okay. | 没事 没事 |
| [12:59] | I’ll DustBust him later. | 我等会用吸尘器吸了他 |
| [13:01] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [13:02] | I’ll get out of your way. | 我不妨碍你了 |
| [13:04] | Thank you for letting me use your phone. | 谢谢你让我用电话 |
| [13:05] | Wait, hang on. You sure you’re okay? | 等等 你确定你没事了? |
| [13:07] | Yeah. I’m just going to go back to my hotel room | 是的 我回我的旅馆 |
| [13:10] | and update my Facebook status to “not dead yet.” | 把我的脸书的状态改成”还没挂” |
| [13:13] | Wait, wait, wait. I… I just went to one funeral. | 等等 我刚参加了一个葬礼 |
| [13:16] | I-I don’t want to be involved in another one. | 我不想再去另外个 |
| [13:18] | Why don’t you and I go out and have a drink and talk? | 我们为什么不出去喝一杯 聊聊 |
| [13:22] | About what? | 聊什么 |
| [13:23] | Oh, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [13:25] | The weather, politics. | 天气啊 政治 |
| [13:26] | Why somebody would want to kill themselves | 为什么有些人身价十亿 |
| [13:28] | when they have a billion freaking dollars. | 却还想自杀 |
| [13:31] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [13:33] | We’ll, uh, put your clothes in the dryer. | 把你的衣服放进甩干机 |
| [13:36] | All right. | 好了 |
| [13:39] | Oh, by the way… | 顺便说下 |
| [13:42] | I’m Walden. Walden Schmidt. | 我叫沃尔顿 沃尔顿·施密特 |
| [13:44] | Well, it’s nice to meet you, Walden Schmidt. | 好的 很高兴认识你 沃尔顿·施密特 |
| [13:46] | Oh. Oh, sure. I suppose there’s no reason | 我想没理由 |
| [13:48] | you can’t undress right here in the living room. | 不让你在客厅里脱衣服 |
| [13:51] | Oh, Skivvies coming off, too. | 内裤也脱了 |
| [13:52] | Okay. Okay, well, uh, no body issues. | 好 好 没人有意见 |
| [13:55] | Lucky you. That’s… | 你真幸运 |
| [13:58] | You’re a good guy, Alan Harper. | 你真是好人 艾伦·哈勃 |
| [14:00] | Oh, and he’s a hugger as well. | 他还爱拥抱 |
| [14:01] | Okey dokey. | 没问题 |
| [14:03] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [14:07] | $1.3 billion, | 不光身价13亿美金 |
| [14:10] | and he’s hung like an elephant. | 还”潘驴邓小闲”啊 |
| [14:16] | Uh, I will have an appletini. | 我来一杯苹果马蒂尼 |
| [14:18] | Uh, and, um…? | 我来杯… |
| [14:19] | Oh, uh, ginger ale, please. | 姜汁汽水 |
| [14:22] | Really? | 真的 |
| [14:24] | Fresh off a suicide attempt, | 刚刚自杀未遂 |
| [14:25] | and you’re ordering a ginger ale? | 你就点了一杯姜汁汽水 |
| [14:27] | Yeah. I don’t like the taste of alcohol. | 是 我不喜欢酒的味道 |
| [14:29] | Nobody likes the taste of alcohol. | 没人喜欢酒的味道 |
| [14:31] | We like the effects of alcohol. | 喜欢的是酒的效果 |
| [14:33] | How it makes you feel tall, good-looking and smart. | 会让你感觉自己高大帅加多金 |
| [14:37] | I am tall, good-looking and smart. | 我本来就是高大帅多金 |
| [14:42] | Give him an appletini. | 给他来杯苹果马蒂尼 |
| [14:45] | So, just out of curiosity, | 只是好奇问下 |
| [14:48] | how does someone get to be worth so much money? | 怎样才能有如此高的身价 |
| [14:51] | Oh, it’s pretty simple, really. | 其实挺简单的 |
| [14:53] | You ever hear of Blungogo.Com? | 你听过蓝博网吗 |
| [14:55] | No. | 没有 |
| [14:57] | And you never will, | 你永远不会听说 |
| [14:58] | because Microsoft bought it from me | 因为被微软收购了 |
| [15:00] | for $1.3 billion, and then they bundled it | 向我出价13亿 捆绑在了 |
| [15:03] | with their iPod killer, the Zune. | iPod杀手 Zune播放器[微软失败产品]上 |
| [15:07] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [15:09] | I don’t think it came with my Zune. | 我的Zune播放器上怎么没有 |
| [15:11] | You bought a Zune? | 你居然买了个Zune? |
| [15:14] | I had a coupon. | 有优惠券嘛 |
| [15:16] | Cheers? | 干杯 |
| [15:17] | Oh. Cheers. | 干杯 |
| [15:24] | So, don’t take this the wrong way, | 别误会我哈 |
| [15:28] | but I can’t get the image of your penis out of my mind. | 可你那巨大的老弟在我脑中挥之不去 |
| [15:34] | Thank you. That’s very sweet. | 谢谢 你的嘴真甜 |
| [15:42] | You don’t understand. | 你不会明白的 |
| [15:43] | Bridget was my high school sweetheart. | 布里奇特是我的高中恋人 |
| [15:46] | She was the love of my life. | 她是我的此生挚爱 |
| [15:49] | So why’d she leave you? | 她为什么甩你 |
| [15:50] | She catch you with another woman? | 是不是捉奸在床 |
| [15:52] | – No. – Sex no good? | -不是 -房事不给力 |
| [15:53] | No, it was great. | 才不是 好得很 |
| [15:55] | Are you sure? | 你肯定吗 |
| [15:56] | ‘Cause sometimes they’ll tell you it’s good, | 因为有时候女人会说挺棒的 |
| [15:58] | and then you find out later | 结果会发现 |
| [15:59] | they hated the very touch of you. | 你的一举一动都让她们恶心 |
| [16:04] | Happened to a guy I know. | 我认识一哥们就这样 |
| [16:06] | Well, she said that I was emotionally immature. | 她说我情感不成熟 |
| [16:12] | You mean like threatening suicide | 比如说威胁她说不要你 |
| [16:14] | unless she takes you back? | 你就去死吗 |
| [16:16] | That is not immature; that’s romantic. | 这不是不成熟 这叫浪漫懂不懂 |
| [16:20] | Shut up. | 闭嘴吧你 |
| [16:22] | Well, regardless, I-I know what you’re going through. | 不管怎样 我了解你的感受 |
| [16:24] | I mean, I married my college sweetheart, | 我娶了自己的大学恋人 |
| [16:26] | and when she divorced me, I was devastated. | 她跟我离婚时 我心都死了 |
| [16:28] | Why did she leave you? | 她为什么甩你 |
| [16:30] | Not a clue. She’s a crazy bitch. | 不清楚 她就是一疯狂贱人 |
| [16:32] | The point is, when life serves you | 关键是 如果生活让你遭受 |
| [16:36] | ball breakers who rip your heart out, | 快乐终结者来撕碎你的心 |
| [16:38] | you have to make… | 你就得来个 |
| [16:41] | ball breaker-ade. | 快乐终结者数据库 |
| [16:44] | Bridget never broke my balls. | 布里奇特从来没有终结我的快乐 |
| [16:46] | If anything, she treated them | 要说的话 她对我的快乐[蛋蛋] |
| [16:48] | with tenderness and respect. | 很温柔 很尊重 |
| [16:52] | Okay. Okay, just for tonight, | 好了好了 今天晚上 |
| [16:54] | will you… will you forget about Bridget | 你就忘了布里奇特吧 |
| [16:56] | and-and just try to meet somebody new? | 认识新的女人如何 |
| [16:58] | Like who? | 认识谁呢 |
| [16:59] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [17:02] | How about… how about her? | 她怎么样 |
| [17:05] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:06] | What would I say? | 我要说什么 |
| [17:08] | Uh, well, I would not lead with the testicle anecdote. | 反正我不会将话题引到睾丸轶事上 |
| [17:14] | Just… just say hi. | 问好就行了 |
| [17:16] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:18] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [17:20] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [17:21] | – I’m Walden. – Kelly. | -我叫沃尔顿 -凯莉 |
| [17:31] | So, Kelly… | 那个 凯莉 |
| [17:38] | My… wife dumped me, and I want to die. | 我老婆把我甩了 我好想死啊 |
| [17:46] | Oh, you poor baby. | 可怜的宝贝 |
| [17:50] | I love her so much. | 我好爱她 |
| [17:55] | I… I don’t… | 我不 |
| [17:57] | I don’t know… | 我不知道 |
| [17:59] | if I can ever love anyone | 我是否还能爱上其他女人 |
| [18:02] | the way that I love her. | 像我爱她的那样去爱 |
| [18:08] | That’s the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever heard. | 这是我听过的最感人的话了 |
| [18:12] | Oh, it’ll be okay. | 没事的 |
| [18:26] | Oh, God, I miss my wife! | 上帝啊 我好想我老婆 |
| [18:33] | Here is where I live. | 我住在这里 |
| [18:36] | Nice. | 很漂亮 |
| [18:37] | Just me and my broken heart. | 我孤单一人 怀着一颗破碎的心 |
| [18:41] | Alan, I… I think I should go back to my hotel. | 艾伦 我想我还是回酒店吧 |
| [18:44] | Are you nuts? | 你傻了吧你 |
| [18:46] | We’re doing great. | 进展得很顺利 |
| [18:47] | This crap about loving our exes is gold. | 爱着前妻的屁话简直是泡妞必杀 |
| [18:50] | My brother would be so proud. | 我哥都会为我们骄傲的 |
| [18:52] | What, the dude in the DustBuster? | 吸尘器里那哥们儿吗 |
| [18:55] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:56] | Ah. Uh, ladies, uh, who’s up for a libation? | 女士们 谁有兴趣来杯杜康 |
| [19:00] | A what? Huh? | 什么玩意儿 |
| [19:01] | A… A drink– alcohol. | 喝的 酒 |
| [19:03] | – Sure. – Great. | -我要 -好的 |
| [19:04] | Oh. Be right back. | 马上回来 |
| [19:13] | What’s upstairs? | 楼上是什么 |
| [19:15] | I don’t know. Probably a bedroom. | 不知道 可能是卧室吧 |
| [19:17] | Why don’t we go find out? | 我们上去一探究竟吧 |
| [19:20] | Uh… okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:23] | Hey, shouldn’t we tell Alan where we’re going? | 不用告诉艾伦我们上去了吗 |
| [19:25] | – No. – No. | -不用 -不用 |
| [19:29] | Who’s ready for margaritas? | 谁要来杯玛格丽塔 |
| [19:33] | One at a time, ladies! One at a time. | 一次一个 小姐们 一次一个 |
| [19:39] | Well, this is depressingly familiar. | 似曾相识地让我想死 |
| [19:44] | Shut up. | 闭嘴吧你 |
| [19:52] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [19:58] | Oh, good godly. | 额滴个神呐 |
| [20:02] | I’m Walden. | 我叫沃尔顿 |
| [20:03] | I’m impressed. | 我会大大滴记住你的 |
| [20:08] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [20:12] | Guess what? I had sex with two girls last night. | 你猜怎么着 我昨晚上了那两个女人 |
| [20:15] | Great. | 很好 |
| [20:17] | I masturbated and cried myself to sleep. | 我打完飞机 哭着睡着了 |
| [20:21] | I like my night better. | 我的夜晚更销魂 |
| [20:25] | I dig your house, so I gonna buy it ok? | 我喜欢你的房子 所以我会买下 行吗 |
| [20:27] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [20:29] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [20:30] | You’re the best. | 你最好了 |
| [20:42] | This is Walden. | 这位是沃尔顿 |
| [20:45] | He’s gonna buy the house. | 他会买下这房子 |
| [20:48] | Welcome to my humbled abode. | 欢迎光临寒舍 |
| [20:58] | I like him. | 姐喜欢 |