| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Previously on Two and a Half Men… | 好汉两个半上集回顾… |
| [00:02] | Oh,Charlie.I would have given anything to be like you. | Charlie 我愿意放弃一切变成你 |
| [00:07] | Even for a day. | 就算一天也行 |
| [00:09] | I’m Melanie. | 我是Melanie |
| [00:10] | Nice to meet you,Melanie. | 很高兴认识你 Melanie |
| [00:12] | I’m… | 我是… |
| [00:14] | Charlie.Charlie Harper. | |
| [00:19] | Whoa. Look who’s getting busy. | 喔 这儿真热闹 |
| [00:23] | He’s acting like my Uncle Charlie. | 他越来越像Charlie叔叔了 |
| [00:25] | He’s even dressing like my Uncle Charlie. | 他甚至模仿Charlie叔叔的穿着 |
| [00:28] | People are really worried about you. | 大家都很担心你 |
| [00:29] | The only reason people are worried about me | 人们担心我的唯一原因是 |
| [00:31] | is ’cause they can’t wrap their heads around how cool I am. | 因为他们不能理解我有多酷 |
| [00:34] | – I’m fine. – What’s your name? | – 我很好 – 你叫什么? |
| [00:36] | – Charlie Harper. – You’re not fine. | – 你问题大了 |
| [00:40] | I’ve got a great idea. | 我有个好主意 |
| [00:41] | You and me,Vegas. | 你和我去拉斯维加斯 |
| [00:44] | This doesn’t look like the Bellagio. | 这里看起来不像贝拉吉奥 |
| [00:45] | Uh,it’s the,uh,back entrance. | 这是后门 |
| [00:47] | Hello,Mr. Harper.If you could,just come with us. | 您好 Harper先生 请跟我来 |
| [00:50] | Uh,don’t forget my bags. | 别忘了我的行李 |
| [00:51] | And we’ll be going to the presidential suite? | 我们是去总统套房吗? |
| [00:52] | Oh,yes,sir. | 是的 先生 |
| [00:54] | Uh,I’m going to need a bucket of ice, | 我需要一桶冰 |
| [00:56] | a bottle of scotch and two Asian hookers. | 一杯威士忌 两个亚洲妓女 |
| [00:59] | Yes. Thanks. | 是的 谢谢 |
| [01:04] | Winning. | 大赢家 |
| [01:07] | 28 days later | 28天后 |
| [01:09] | Here you go,Mr. Harper. | 给你 Harper先生 |
| [01:10] | Now that you’re leaving us, | 既然你已经要出院 |
| [01:12] | you can have your belt and shoelaces back. | 你可以拿回你的皮带和鞋带 |
| [01:14] | Oh. Thank you. | 噢 谢谢 |
| [01:16] | But believe me,there was never any possibility | 但是请你相信 |
| [01:17] | I was going to hurt myself. | 我绝对不可能伤害自己 |
| [01:19] | Yeah,well,it only takes one whack job | 是啊 就一个人在淋浴门帘上上吊 |
| [01:21] | hanging from the shower curtain to ruin it for everybody. | 害得每个人都要被堤防 |
| [01:24] | I… I suppose. | 是啊 |
| [01:26] | And I guess I did lose it for a little while there. | 我想我的确是失控了一会儿 |
| [01:28] | Lose it?We had a pool on how long it would take | 失控? 我们打赌要花多长时间 |
| [01:31] | to get you toilet trained again. | 来训练你学会上厕所 |
| [01:34] | – Really? – Cost me 50 bucks. | – 真的吗? – 害我输了50块 |
| [01:37] | And a pair of nice white shoes. | 和一双漂亮的白鞋 |
| [01:40] | Sorry.I tend to leak under pressure. | 不好意思 我习惯在压力下尿尿 |
| [01:43] | So you think you’re readyto go back out into the world? | 你觉得你准备好重新进入社会了? |
| [01:46] | Yeah. Yeah,I do. | 是的 |
| [01:47] | I mean,I’ve,uh,learned a lot about myself in the last month, | 我在这个月学到了很多 |
| [01:50] | and I… I now have the toolsto deal with life on life’s terms. | 我可以应对生活丢给我的各种难题 |
| [01:53] | You know,a lot of people say that, | 知道吗 很多人这么说 |
| [01:55] | but you’d be surprised how another couple of weeks | 但再多几周的治疗后 |
| [01:57] | of treatment can make all the difference in the world. | 你会惊讶于自己的变化之大 |
| [02:00] | You have another pool,don’t you? | 你还有一场赌局 是吗? |
| [02:03] | Nothing personal.Just trying to get even. | 没别的意思 只是想扯平而已 |
| [02:05] | Sorry I couldn’t be more help. | 很抱歉不能帮你忙 |
| [02:07] | That’s okay.Got $100 says you’ll be back before Christmas. | 没关系 我赌一百 你圣诞之前还会回来 |
| [02:11] | Thanks for your support. | 谢谢你的支持 |
| [02:12] | You really want to thank me,stop taking your medication. | 要是你真的想谢我 就别吃药 |
| [02:16] | Or double up.Either way,I’ll have a happy holiday. | 或者两倍地吃 不管哪一种 我都会拥有一个快乐的假期 |
| [02:22] | Hope you weren’t planning on leaving | 希望你在离开之前 记得给你的老朋友Gary一个拥抱 |
| [02:24] | before you give your old buddy Gary a hug. | 演员Gary Busey 车祸后形象有点”疯” |
| [02:28] | Of course not. | 当然 |
| [02:34] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [02:48] | Two And a Half Men Season 9 Episode 9 | 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo |
| [02:52] | Thanks for picking me up. | 谢谢你来接我 |
| [02:53] | No problem. | 不用谢 |
| [02:56] | So you’re not crazy anymore? | 所以你不疯了? |
| [02:59] | I was never actually crazy. | 我没有真正地疯过 |
| [03:01] | Then why were you in the nuthouse? | 为什么你去了精神病院? |
| [03:03] | It’s not a nuthouse; it’s a stress clinic. | 这不是精神病院 是个压力诊所 |
| [03:06] | What’s the difference? | 有什么区别? |
| [03:07] | About $2,500 a week. | 大概两千五一周 |
| [03:09] | But the good news is that I got a lot out of it. | 好消息是我从中学到了很多 |
| [03:11] | I mean,I am ready to dealwith whatever life throws at me,you know. | 我准备好应对生活丢给我的各种难题 |
| [03:15] | Full speed ahead. | 全力以赴 |
| [03:16] | Well,that’s good,’cause I’ve got somethingI want to talk to you about. | 那挺好 因为我正想跟你说件事 |
| [03:19] | Oh,anything. Dad’s here for you,pal. | 任何事都行 爸爸在这儿 孩子 |
| [03:21] | Cool.So remember Megan? | 很好 记得Megan吗? |
| [03:24] | Oh,yeah,that was,uh,your little girlfriend. | 记得 那是你的小女友吧 |
| [03:25] | Uh,she’s seems like a great gal. | 她看起来是个好女孩 |
| [03:27] | Well,I’m glad you like her’cause she’s kind of pregnant. | 很高兴你喜欢她 因为她稍微有点儿怀孕 |
| [03:33] | Kind of? | 稍微有点儿? |
| [03:34] | She’s not showing yet.She’s still in her first semester. | 她还没表现出来 仍在怀孕初期 |
| [03:39] | Oh,my God.How-how… how did this happen? | 天啊 这事是怎么发生的? |
| [03:42] | I mean,what about our talks about,uh, | 我是怎么跟你说的 |
| [03:44] | sexual responsibility and-and using protection? | 责任和使用保护措施? |
| [03:47] | I can explain that. | 我可以解释 |
| [03:48] | – Go ahead. – I was drunk. | – 说吧 – 我喝醉了 |
| [03:53] | Okay. Okay. | 好了 好了 |
| [03:56] | I have the tools. | 我能处理得来 |
| [03:58] | And how do you propose to take care of this child? | 你建议怎样照顾孩子? |
| [04:00] | Oh,we got that figured out. | 我们已经想好了 |
| [04:02] | First,we’re going to quit school and get jobs. | 首先 我们休学去工作 |
| [04:03] | Okay,stop right there. | 好了 就此打住 |
| [04:07] | What jobs? | 什么工作? |
| [04:08] | Advertising– we’re going to teach the baby to talk | 广告业 我们会教孩子说话 |
| [04:10] | and put him in E-Trade commercials. | 让他出现在电子商务广告中 |
| [04:13] | You’re joking. | 你在开玩笑 |
| [04:15] | No. We figure the baby they got is probably getting pretty old. | 不 我们想着他们那的孩子 估计已经很大了 |
| [04:24] | What does your mother think about this? | 你妈妈有什么意见? |
| [04:25] | – She doesn’t know. – What? | – 她不知道 – 什么? |
| [04:27] | I was hoping you’d tell her. | 我希望你告诉她 |
| [04:29] | Why do I have to tell her? | 为什么要我告诉她? |
| [04:30] | Because she already hates youand she scares the crap out of me. | 因为她恨你而且我超级怕她 |
| [04:38] | Hey,there he is. | 嘿 你回来啦 |
| [04:42] | Welcome home,buddy. | 欢迎回家 兄弟 |
| [04:46] | Thank you. I’m glad to be here. | 谢谢 我能回家很开心 |
| [04:47] | Yeah. How you feeling? | 感觉怎么样? |
| [04:49] | Fine. Why are you whispering? | 很好 你为什么低声细语? |
| [04:51] | Oh,I don’t want to startle you. | 我不想吓到你 |
| [04:53] | Walden,I’m okay. | Walden 我很好 |
| [04:55] | Yeah,sure you are. | 是啊 当然 |
| [04:57] | Hey,Walden,guess what.I’m going to be a dad. | Walden 你猜怎么着 我要当爸爸了 |
| [05:02] | Really? | 真的吗? |
| [05:05] | Wow. | 哇哦 |
| [05:08] | How you feel about that,Grandpa? | 你还好吗 爷爷? |
| [05:12] | Well,it’s,uh,not something I would have chosen | 我认为这不是他现阶段 |
| [05:14] | for him at this stage of his life, | 应该做的选择 |
| [05:16] | but he will continue to have my love and support. | 但他仍然拥有我的爱和支持 |
| [05:19] | If it’s a boy,we’re going to name him Frodo. | 如果是个男孩 我们准备起名叫Frodo |
| [05:23] | You’re not making it easy for me,pal. | 这并不能安慰我 孩子 |
| [05:26] | You should have used a condom. | 你应该使用安全套的 |
| [05:29] | Or you should have. | 或者是你 |
| [05:31] | Hey,look who’s back from the loony bin. | 嘿 看谁从疯人院回来了 |
| [05:34] | It wasn’t a loony bin; it’s a stress clinic. | 那不是疯人院 是压力诊所 |
| [05:37] | Did they let you keep your belt? | 那他们让你留着皮带了吗? |
| [05:39] | – Uh,well… – Loony bin. | – 关于这个… – 疯人院 |
| [05:41] | – There’s your mail. – Thank you. | – 这是你的信 – 谢谢 |
| [05:43] | Hey,Berta,I’m going to be a dad. | Berta 我要做爸爸了 |
| [05:48] | What’s funny? | 有什么好笑的? |
| [05:49] | From where you’re standing,nothing. | 从你的角度着想 没什么 |
| [05:53] | Did you tell him your news? | 告诉他你的近况了吗? |
| [05:55] | Mmm,it’ll keep.Hey,open your mail. | 先等会 嘿 看信吧 |
| [05:58] | Okay. Let’s see. | 好 让我看看 |
| [05:59] | Uh,bill,bill,jury duty,bill. | 账单 账单 陪审团通知 账单 |
| [06:03] | Ooh! Oh,here we go.My refund from the IRS. | 哦！太好了 税务部给我的退税 |
| [06:06] | Just in time what with all these bills. | 正好把我从这一堆账单里救出来 |
| [06:08] | Might want to set some of that aside for Frodo’s headshots. | 给我留一点钱 帮Frodo拍艺术照吧 |
| [06:15] | Huh.It’s not a refund at all. | 啊 这根本就不是退税 |
| [06:19] | I’m being audited. | 他们查我的账了 |
| [06:24] | What’s so funny? | 有什么好笑的? |
| [06:25] | From where you’re standing,nothing. | 从你的角度看 没什么好笑的 |
| [06:32] | I guess you’re probably wonderingwhy I asked you guys to come over. | 我猜你们想知道我为什么请你们过来 |
| [06:35] | We understand,Alan.Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. | 我们理解的 Alan 精神病没什么见不得人的 |
| [06:39] | I’m not mentally ill.It was a stress clinic. | 我才没有精神病 那是个压力舒缓诊所 |
| [06:42] | Did the door lock from the inside or the outside? | 门是从里面锁的还是从外面锁的? |
| [06:45] | Uh,uh,well,the… the… | 呃 那个…这个… |
| [06:50] | Nevertheless,the reason I called a family meetingis because,uh, | 无论如何 我召开这个家庭会议是因为 嗯… |
| [06:53] | Jake and Megan have some news. | Jake和Megan有些事情要说 |
| [06:56] | Oh,my God. She’s pregnant. | 天哪 她怀孕了 |
| [06:58] | Well,that was easy.Who wants cake? | 哎 这么简单 谁想吃蛋糕? |
| [07:01] | How could you do this? | 你怎么能这么做? |
| [07:03] | She made me. | 她主动的 |
| [07:05] | – What? – Oh,come on. | – 什么? – 哦 拜托 |
| [07:07] | Between the two of us,who was a virgin? | 咱俩当初谁是第一次来着? |
| [07:09] | Okay,okay.What’s done is done, | 好了 好了 生米都煮成熟饭了 |
| [07:11] | but if we can come together as a family, | 但如果我们作为一家人团结在一起 |
| [07:13] | we can deal with this without finger-pointing. | 咱们就能共渡难关而不用相互指责 |
| [07:15] | Your father’s right.Let’s just calm down and talk it through. | 你爸说得对 咱们冷静一下 好好谈谈吧 |
| [07:19] | Is it just me,or does Herb and Judith’s kidlook a lot like Alan? | 是我眼花了么 Judith和Herb的娃 怎么长得很像Alan? |
| [07:25] | Well,you know,there is a slight resemblance. | 你别说 还真有点像 |
| [07:29] | – Damn it,Jake! How could you be so irresponsible? – What the hell is wrong with you? | – 该死 Jake! 你怎么能这么不负责任? – 你是什么毛病啊? |
| [07:31] | I mean,what were you thinking? What were you thinking? | 你说 你想的都是些什么? 你脑袋被门夹了? |
| [07:33] | Did we raise you not to know any better than this? | 我们养你这么多年 就养出来这么个白痴? |
| [07:35] | What do you have to say for yourself? | 你还有什么好说的? |
| [07:36] | When are you going to tell him your news? | 你准备什么时候告诉他 关于你的好消息? |
| [07:38] | Ah,I don’t want to make things worse. | 啊 我不想把事情弄得更糟 |
| [07:41] | See,that’s the big difference between you and me. | 你看 这就是咱俩之间的巨大差异 |
| [07:54] | – Hey. | – Hey. How’d your audit go? – 嘿 – 嘿 你的账查得怎么样了? |
| [07:57] | It wasn’t so much an audit | 这根本就不是查账 |
| [07:58] | as a brutal prison rape with a number two pencil. | 更像是用2B铅笔野蛮地强奸我 |
| [08:02] | I’m confused.Did you like it or not? | 我没听懂 你是享受呢还是痛苦? |
| [08:06] | They say I owe them $80,000. | 他们说我欠了他们八万美金 |
| [08:09] | So not. | 那就不是享受了 |
| [08:11] | But the good news is,if they take everything I own, | 但有个好消息 如果他们拿走属于我的所有东西 |
| [08:13] | they’ll only get four. | 他们只能拿到四个数 |
| [08:15] | – $4,000? – Four dollars. | – 四千块? – 四块钱 |
| [08:18] | But I’m not worried. | 但我一点都不担心 |
| [08:19] | Because I have the tools to cope with whatever life throws at me. | 因为我有能力应对生活的难题 |
| [08:23] | No,you don’t. | 不 你才做不到 |
| [08:26] | – Alan? – Oh,Lyndsey. | – 哦 Lyndsey |
| [08:28] | Sweetheart,are you a sight for sore eyes. | 亲爱的 看到你真是太好了 |
| [08:31] | Yeah,it’s good to see you,too. | 是啊 也很高兴能见到你 |
| [08:34] | Oh.Alan,you’re home. | 哦 Alan 你回来了啊 |
| [08:37] | Hey,Walden,I think now’s the time to tell him. | 嘿 Walden 是时候告诉他了 |
| [08:41] | Tell me what? | 告诉我什么? |
| [08:44] | Aw. | 喔… |
| [08:50] | What’s so funny? | 有什么好笑的? |
| [08:51] | From where I’m standing,everything. | 从我的角度看 什么都好笑 |
| [09:03] | I’m sorry you had to find out this way. | 很抱歉让你以这种方式发现了 |
| [09:05] | Oh. Really? Really? | 哦 真的吗? 真的吗? |
| [09:07] | How would you have liked me to hear about it? | 你想让我怎么发现? |
| [09:09] | Twitter? Facebook? A singing telegram? | 通过Twitter? Facebook? 手机彩铃? |
| [09:11] | *Ta-ra-ra boom-dee-ay,I banged your girl today * | 嘿啦啦啦嘿啦啦 我睡了你的女人啦 |
| [09:14] | *’Cause I’m a billionaire,I still have all my hair. * | 因为我是个大富豪 头发一根都没少 |
| [09:18] | I-I understand that you’re upset, | 我…我理解 你很难过 |
| [09:20] | but you have to see this from our viewpoint. | 但你得站在我们的角度想一想 |
| [09:21] | What’s your viewpoint? | 你们的角度? |
| [09:23] | The sex is awesome. | 性爱太美妙了 |
| [09:26] | It really is.He’s the best I’ve ever had. | 千真万确 他是我遇见过的最棒的 |
| [09:29] | No,you’re the best I’ve ever had. | 不 你才是我遇见过的最棒的 |
| [09:30] | You’re the best I’ve had. | 你是最棒的 |
| [09:31] | – No,you. | – No,you. – 不 你才是 – 不 你才是 |
| [09:32] | Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! | 停! 停! 停! |
| [09:35] | How did this happen? | 这是怎么发生的? |
| [09:36] | It was actually kind of a meet cute. | 也算是个美丽的错误吧 |
| [09:39] | Uh,Lyndsey came here to see where you were, | Lyndsey来这边找你 |
| [09:41] | and I told her where you were, | 我告诉她你在哪儿 |
| [09:42] | and then she started to cry,and… | 然后她就开始哭 然后… |
| [09:46] | bippity-boppity-boo,we’re having sex. | 不知道怎么回事 我们就搞到一起了 不知道怎么回事? |
| [09:50] | How do you go from crying to sex? | 你怎么哭着哭着就开始做爱了? |
| [09:52] | With him,it was always the other way around. | 和他在一起 顺序一直是反过来的 |
| [09:54] | Okay,okay,and-and-and what was the cute part? | 好吧 好吧 然后 哪里是美丽那部分? |
| [09:57] | Look at him. | 看看他就知道了 |
| [09:58] | No,look at you. | 不 看看你 |
| [10:00] | – No,you. | – No,you. – 不 看你 – 不 看你 |
| [10:01] | Hey! Hey! I’m still here! | 嘿! 嘿! 我还在这儿站着呢! |
| [10:04] | I mean,how-how could you do this? | 我说 你怎么能这样? |
| [10:05] | How-how could you have an affair | 你们怎么能 |
| [10:07] | while I’m locked up in the booby hatch? | 趁我被关在在精神病院时搞在一起? |
| [10:09] | I thought it was a stress clinic. | 我还以为那是个压力舒缓诊所 |
| [10:10] | Everybody knows what it was! | 地球人都知道那是什么! |
| [10:14] | I lost my freaking mind! | 我他娘的失去理智了! |
| [10:16] | But luckily,now I’m better,so I have the tools | 但幸运的是 我现在有了手段 |
| [10:20] | to cope with whatever life throws at me! | 来对付命运中的一切风波 |
| [10:25] | That’s great,Alan,’cause there’s one more thing. | 太好了 Alan 因为还有一件事 |
| [10:28] | Oh,super. Let me have it. | 哦 好极了 请讲吧 |
| [10:29] | – You need to move out. – What?! | – 你得搬出去了 – 神马?! |
| [10:31] | Come on,it’d be creepy if you’re | 拜托 这感觉会很奇怪吧 |
| [10:33] | downstairs listening while we’re having sex. | 如果我们在楼上做爱 而你却在下面听着 |
| [10:35] | Lyndsey doesn’t make any noise. | Lyndsey从来不叫床的 |
| [10:36] | I do now. | 现在我叫了 |
| [10:39] | Fine. Fine. Let me just get my things. | 好吧 好吧 让我收拾一下东西 |
| [10:41] | Uh,not necessary.We packed your stuff. | 呃 不用了 我们把你的东西都收拾好了 |
| [10:43] | Oh,yeah. It’s all in a storage bin out by the airport. | 是啊 都堆在机场旁边的一个储藏箱里 |
| [10:46] | But don’t worry,I took care of the first month’s rent. | 但不用担心 我已经付过第一个月的租金了 |
| [10:49] | – Here’s the key. – Why,thank you. | – 这是钥匙 – 真TM感谢你 |
| [10:52] | You know,I hope someday,we can look back | 那个 我希望有一天 |
| [10:53] | at this as friends and just laugh. | 咱们能像朋友一样回首往事 开怀一笑 |
| [10:57] | Someday?Why wait? Let’s laugh now. | 有一天? 还等什么? 现在就笑吧 |
| [11:04] | Okay,I’ll go. | 好吧 我走了 |
| [11:09] | That’s it! | 到此为止了! |
| [11:10] | I am done being a doormat. | 我再也不是受压迫者了 |
| [11:13] | I’ll show ’em.I will show ’em all. | 我会证明的 证明给所有人看 |
| [11:16] | They won’t have Alan Harper to kick around anymore. | 他们再也没有Alan Harper可以欺负了 |
| [11:20] | And they will be sorry. | 他们会感到抱歉 |
| [11:23] | Apologies will be made,tears will be wept, | 有人会道歉 有人会抹眼泪 |
| [11:28] | but it’s all gonna be too late’cause I am out of here! | 但一切都已太迟了 因为我要远走高飞了! |
| [11:33] | Sleeping the big sleep,the ol’ dirt nap. | 不在沉默中爆发 就在沉默中灭亡 |
| [11:36] | Adios,muchachos,it’s the last roundup. | 再见了 老伙计 这是最后一次围猎 |
| [11:47] | God,check,please. | 老天爷 你给我看好了 |
| [11:58] | Perfect. | 太妙了 |
| [12:12] | Hi! Hi,Mom,it’s me! | 嗨! 嗨! 老妈 是我啊! |
| [12:15] | I need a place to stay. | 我无家可归了 |
| [12:17] | Walden kicked me out and my car blew upand I had to hitchhike over here! | Walden把我赶了出来 我的车又坏了 我搭便车才来到这儿! |
| [12:22] | So,solly,Missy Everyn no home. | 对不起 Everyn女士不在家 |
| [12:26] | Missy Everyn?!Come on,Mom!What are you doing? | Everyn女士?! 拜托 老妈! 你在做什么? |
| [12:30] | Let me in! I’m soaking wet, | 让我进去! 我浑身湿透了 |
| [12:32] | and I had to give a truck driver a happy ending just to get here! | 而且我为了来到这儿 在最后还让那个卡车司机爽到! |
| [12:36] | Go away! I call po-rice! | 走开! 我报警了! |
| [12:39] | What kind of accent is that supposed to be?! | 你在装哪种口音?! |
| [12:42] | Herro? Po-rice?Clazy man outside.You come quick! | 喂? 警察吗? 外面有疯子 快来! |
| [12:48] | Fine,fine! I’m leaving!Thanks a lot! | 好了 好了 我走了! 多谢! |
| [12:53] | Rots of ruck! | 祝你好运! |
| [13:01] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
| [13:03] | Blindsided by my son… | 被儿子突然袭击… |
| [13:06] | reamed by the IRS… | 被税务部敲诈… |
| [13:08] | rejected by my lover… | 被爱人拒绝… |
| [13:10] | betrayed by my friend… | 被朋友背叛… |
| [13:13] | molested by a truck driver… | 被卡车司机猥亵 |
| [13:16] | cast out by my mother… | 被妈妈赶走 |
| [13:18] | and rained on by God. | 又被老天爷淋雨 |
| [13:23] | And this isn’t even the worst week of my life. | 这还不算是我一生中最糟糕的一周 |
| [13:32] | Welcome home Alan | 欢迎回家Alan |
| [13:35] | Oh,come on. | 有没有搞错 |
| [13:42] | Might as well make myself comfortable. | 不妨既来之则安之吧 |
| [13:47] | Nowhere to go from here. | 从此没有归宿 |
| [13:52] | End of the line.Rock bottom. | 穷途末路 人生谷底 |
| [13:59] | Can a man sink any lower? | 还有比我更低落的人吗 |
| [14:05] | Asked and answered. | 答案在此 |
| [14:08] | Pardon me.Do you happen to have a flashlight? | 请原谅 你有手电筒吗 |
| [14:12] | Uh,what? | 呃 什么 |
| [14:14] | The light in my storage unit isn’t working. | 我仓库里的灯坏了 |
| [14:16] | I need a flashlight. | 我需要手电筒 |
| [14:18] | Oh. Uh,yeah,sure. Um…Yeah,uh… what the hell? | 哦 呃 好吧 等等 |
| [14:23] | – Oh,here you go. – Thank you. | – 噢给你 – 谢谢 |
| [14:26] | My fur coats all feel alike in the dark. | 光线太暗我所有的皮草大衣摸起来感觉都很像 |
| [14:28] | Lot of things feel alike in the dark. | 很多东西在暗光线下摸起来感觉都很像 |
| [14:31] | Ooh,you rascal! | 噢 你个小流氓 |
| [14:33] | – Uh,I’m Alan Harper. – Veronica Hastings. | – 呃 我叫Alan Harper |
| [14:37] | Come here often? | 经常来这里吗 |
| [14:38] | No,but the night is young. | 不常来 但是天色还早 |
| [14:40] | – Ooh. Innuendo? – Not usually. | – 噢 是反话吗 – 一般来说不是的 |
| [14:44] | But if you play your cards right… | 但是如果你表现好的话 |
| [14:48] | Listen,Alan Harper, | 听着 Alan Harper |
| [14:50] | I keep some nice wines in my storage unit. | 我在仓库里存了些上好的酒 |
| [14:52] | Can I interest you in a glass? | 有没有兴趣喝一杯 |
| [14:53] | I would like that very much. | 我非常乐意 |
| [14:55] | Don’t go away. | 别走开哦 |
| [14:57] | There is no chance of that happening. | 那是绝对不可能的 |
| [15:05] | You had a plan all along,didn’t you,God? | 这是你一手安排的吗 上帝 |
| [15:10] | – Alan? – Yes,Lord? | – 是的 上帝 |
| [15:13] | – Over here. – Oh! Oh,Herb. | – 这边 – 哦 Herb |
| [15:18] | What are you doing here? | 你在这里干吗 |
| [15:19] | I called Walden. | 我打电话给Walden了 |
| [15:20] | He told me this is where I might find you. | 他告诉来这里找你 |
| [15:23] | Oh,well,I,uh,I appreciate you stopping by, | 好吧 我 我很感谢你过来看我 |
| [15:25] | but I’m not really set up for entertaining yet. | 但是现在不是我叙旧的时候 |
| [15:29] | I didn’t just stop by.I have some news for you. | 我不仅仅是来看你的 有消息告诉你 |
| [15:32] | Really? Good news? | 真的吗 是好消息吗 |
| [15:34] | I had a DNA test done on my daughter Millie. | 我给我的女儿Millie做了DNA测试 |
| [15:38] | – Oh? – Turns out she’s your daughter. | – 是吗 – 测试结果是 你是她父亲 |
| [15:40] | Bad news. | 坏消息 |
| [15:43] | And it’s about to get worse. | 接下来会更糟 |
| [15:45] | Oh,come on! | 不会吧 |
| [15:47] | – Good-bye,Alan.- Oh,no,Herb,please,please! | – 再见 Alan – 不要啊 Herb 求你了 |
| [15:50] | I’m about get laid by Jessica Rabbit! | 我马上就要和Jessica Rabbit上床了 |
| [15:55] | No,Herb,no! | 不要这样 Herb 不要 |
| [16:02] | Oh,thank God I’m still in the loony bin. | 谢天谢地 我还在精神病院里 |
| [16:06] | It’s a stress clinic. | 这里是减压诊所 |
| [16:16] | – Thanks for picking me up. – No problem. | – 谢谢来接我 – 不用谢 |
| [16:19] | I’m surprised Walden let you take his car. | 我很意外Walden居然让你开这辆车 |
| [16:21] | I know,right?With my driving record? | 我知道 是吧 就我那点开车经验 |
| [16:27] | I’m really glad you’re feeling better. | 看到你好多了 我真的很开心 |
| [16:28] | You had me worried. | 你害我很担心啊 |
| [16:30] | I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to. | 对不起 不是故意的 |
| [16:33] | But everything’s fine now. | 但是现在一切都好了 |
| [16:35] | Good. | 很好啊 |
| [16:37] | Hey,is it too soon to talk to youabout something important? | 现在跟你说件重要的事 会不会太急了 |
| [16:41] | You can talk to me about anything. | 你可以跟我说任何事 |
| [16:43] | I have the tools to cope. | 我自有应对办法 |
| [16:45] | Cool. Remember Megan? | 好极了 记得Megan吗 |
| [16:47] | Oh,God… | 天呐 |
| [16:50] | Well,we’ve been going out for a while now and all of a sudden, | 我们已经在一起有一阵子了 突然有一天 |
| [16:52] | she’s sayingshe wants to see other people, | 她说她想和别人去约会 |
| [16:54] | but I want to keep it,you know,monotonous. | 但是我想维持现状 专一就好 |
| [16:59] | That,that’s it? She’s not pregnant? | 就这样而已 她没怀孕吗 |
| [17:01] | No,of course not. | 当然没有 |
| [17:02] | I’ve been stuck at third base for months. | 几个月来我一直停留在三垒 |
| [17:06] | – That’s a relief. – For you,maybe. | – 如释重负 – 对你来也许是的 |
| [17:11] | Anyway,I was just wondering if you had | 我只是想知道你有没有 |
| [17:12] | some advice on how to keep a woman from leaving you. | 让女人留在自己身边的办法 |
| [17:21] | So how was the food in there? | 那里的伙食怎么样 |
| [17:28] | It feels strange to be back here. | 回来的感觉有点奇怪 |
| [17:30] | Just to warn you,things area little bit different than you remember them. | 只是提醒你 现在跟你以前记得的不一样了 |
| [17:33] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [17:34] | I promised WaldenI wouldn’t tell you. | 我答应过Walden不会告诉你的 |
| [17:36] | – Bye. – Where you going? | – 再见 – 你要去哪 |
| [17:38] | I’m gonna take Walden’s car over to Megan’s, | 我要开Walden的车到Megan家 |
| [17:39] | see if it helps me slide into home. | 看看是不是能帮我打到全垒 |
| [17:42] | Wear protection!I’m wearing it now! | – 做好安全措施 – 我现在就戴着 |
| [17:54] | Whoa. | 哇 |
| [17:57] | Hey,buddy.How ya doing? | 哥们 你好吗 |
| [18:02] | I’m okay. | 挺好的 |
| [18:04] | Good,good,I’m glad. | 那就好 我很高兴 |
| [18:06] | Walden,you don’t haveto talk to me like a crazy person. | Walden 没必要装成疯子一样 跟我说话的 |
| [18:09] | Oh,crazy people don’t talk like this. | 疯子可不是这么说话的 |
| [18:11] | Regular people talk like this whenthey’re talking to crazy people. | 正常人和疯子说话时才这么说话 |
| [18:16] | Fine. Whatever.I see you finished redecorating. | 好吧 随便你 我看到你已经装修好了 |
| [18:19] | Yeah. What do you think? | 好的 你觉得怎么样 |
| [18:21] | Ah,it looks fantastic. | 真漂亮 |
| [18:23] | Oh,hey,check this out. | 嘿 瞧这个 |
| [18:26] | Computer,lights off. | 电脑 关灯 |
| [18:31] | Computer,music on. | 电脑 开音乐 |
| [18:40] | That’s awesome. | 太神奇了 |
| [18:43] | Yeah,it’s the home of tomorrow. | 这叫”明日之家” |
| [18:46] | Except it’s today. | 但其实是”今天” |
| [18:50] | Computer,music off. | 电脑 关音乐 |
| [18:54] | Okay,let me try.Uh,computer,lights on. | 让我来试试 电脑 开灯 |
| [18:57] | Oh,no,that won’t work.It’s keyed to my voice. | 不 没用的 它只能识别我的声音 |
| [19:01] | Oh,well,then how do I turn the lights on and off? | 那我要怎么开灯和关灯呢 |
| [19:06] | You can’t.Hey,let me show you the kitchen. | 你开不了也关不了 带你看看厨房 |
| [19:10] | Boy,sure hope I can flush the toilet. | 乖乖 我希望我能冲马桶 |
| [19:15] | Ta-da! | 惊喜吧 |
| [19:17] | Ta-da,indeed. | 还真是惊喜 |
| [19:19] | Oh,hey,check this out.I connected the refrigerator to the Internet. | 来看这个 我把冰箱联网了 |
| [19:25] | Ice. | 冰块 |
| [19:27] | Wait for it. | 等等 |
| [19:33] | Is that cool or what? | 是不是很牛 |
| [19:35] | And if I want ice? | 如果我要冰块呢 |
| [19:37] | You just call me and then I’ll call the refrigerator. | 打电话给我 我来跟冰箱说 |
| [19:41] | Oh,oh,check this out. | 再看这个 |
| [19:44] | Computer,television on. | 电脑 开电视 |
| [19:49] | – Wow! – Yeah. | – 哇 – 是啊 |
| [19:51] | What is it about a giant TV? | 超大型电视机又怎么了 |
| [19:53] | Right? I mean,just looking at it gives me a chubby. | 对啊 光看着它我就觉得自己胖了一点 |
| [19:59] | Welcome home,buddy. | 欢迎回家 哥们 |
| [20:01] | Oh,thanks,Walden,but you and I both knowthis is not my home. | 谢谢你Walden 你我都知道 这并不是我家 |
| [20:06] | – Oh,sure,it is. – No,let me finish. | – 当然是你家了 – 不 让我说完 |
| [20:09] | I had a lot of time to think while I was away. | 我不在时想了很多 |
| [20:11] | At least after I came off the thorazine. | 至少是在精神病药药效过了的时候 |
| [20:15] | And I realized that it’s one thing to live off my brother, | 我意识到寄生在我哥身上是一回事 |
| [20:19] | but he’s gone and… | 但是他已经去世了 |
| [20:22] | now his stuff’s gone,too. | 现在他的东西也不在了 |
| [20:26] | I really don’t belong here anymore. | 我真的已经不属于这里了 |
| [20:29] | So you’re moving out? | 你要搬出去了吗 |
| [20:30] | Oh,no,no! God,no! | 不不 天呐 当然不是 |
| [20:32] | I mean,look at the size of this thing. | 瞧瞧这玩意的尺寸 |
| [20:35] | No,I just want you to know thatI’m aware of the absurdity of our situation. | 只是想让你知道 我知道我们的处境有多荒谬 |
| [20:39] | Bring it in. Oh… | 来吧 |
| [20:43] | Computer,music on. | 电脑 开音乐 |
| [20:45] | *And I will always love you… * | |
| [20:50] | And let me know if you need ice. | 需要冰块的话 一定要跟我说哦 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo |
| [21:00] | Two And a Half Men Season 9 Episode 9 | 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo |