| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Aw, damn. | 靠 |
| [00:03] | Which password did I use for this? | 我的密码到底是什么 |
| [00:07] | Uh, Jake. | 杰克 |
| [00:10] | Nope. Um… | 不是 |
| [00:12] | Jake-1. | 杰克一号 |
| [00:16] | Jake-2. | 杰克二号 |
| [00:21] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [00:24] | Alan-1. | 艾伦一号 |
| [00:26] | Berta! | 波塔 |
| [00:28] | Ooh, maybe that’s it! | 或许就是这个 |
| [00:30] | Big Scary Lady. | 吓人的美国大妞 |
| [00:34] | Where is Berta? | 波塔去哪儿了 |
| [00:35] | She went home early. Said she wasn’t feeling well. | 她早早回家了 说她身体不适 |
| [00:37] | Anything I can do for you? | 有什么需要我效劳的吗 |
| [00:39] | Out of dental floss. | 我的牙线用完了 |
| [00:40] | Ooh. Uh, waxed? | 要什么样的 有蜡的 |
| [00:41] | Unwaxed? Cinnamon? | 无蜡的 还是肉桂味的 |
| [00:44] | You carry a selection of dental floss? | 你随身带的牙线品种还真多 |
| [00:47] | I am a soldier in the war against gingivitis. | 我是一名跟牙龈炎奋战的勇士 |
| [00:50] | Got the gums of a 20-year-old. | 牙龈跟二十岁的小毛孩一样 |
| [00:52] | I’ll take the cinnamon. | 我要肉桂味的 |
| [00:53] | Ooh, good choice. | 选得好 |
| [00:53] | Clean teeth and fresh breath. | 清洁牙齿的同时 还能清新口气 |
| [00:56] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [00:57] | I was trying to do some on-line banking, | 我想登陆网上银行 |
| [00:59] | but I forgot my password. | 但我忘记密码了 |
| [01:00] | I can help you with that. Move over. | 我可以帮你 起来 |
| [01:02] | Oh, I forgot I had a computer genius in the house. | 我忘了咱这屋有位电脑天才 |
| [01:06] | Okay, let’s put in your e-mail address. | 好的 先输入你的电子邮箱 |
| [01:10] | And click on “forgot password.” | 然后点击”忘记密码” |
| [01:17] | Hey, there’s a password hint. | 瞧 密码提示出来了 |
| [01:18] | “What is my favorite state?” | “我最喜欢哪个州” |
| [01:20] | Uh, California? | 加州吗 |
| [01:24] | You are a hacker’s nightmare. | 你就是黑客的恶梦 |
| [01:27] | Not California. | 不是加州 |
| [01:30] | Gosh, um, try Hawaii. | 天啊 试试夏威夷 |
| [01:34] | Nope. | 也不是 |
| [01:35] | The good news is we only have 48 states to go. | 好消息是我们只剩四十八个州要试 |
| [01:38] | Favorite state, favorite state. | 最喜欢的州 最喜欢的状态 |
| [01:40] | What’s my favorite state? | 我最喜欢哪种状态 |
| [01:43] | I’m getting a Skype call. | 我要接个网络电话 |
| [01:46] | It’s my ex-wife. | 是我前妻打来的 |
| [01:48] | Hi, Walden. | 你好 沃尔顿 |
| [01:49] | Hi, Bridget. | 你好 布里奇特 |
| [01:50] | Engorged! | 勃起 |
| [01:51] | My favorite state is fully engorged! | 我最喜欢的状态是勃起 |
| [01:55] | Hello, Alan. | 你好 艾伦 |
| [01:57] | Hi, Bridget. | 你好 布里奇特 |
| [01:58] | Um, that was just my-my password. | 刚那是我的密码 |
| [02:01] | You know what? I’ll just let you guys talk. | 我不打扰你俩谈话了 |
| [02:04] | How do you explain him to people? | 你怎么向人们解释他的存在 |
| [02:05] | I usually tell people that my wife drove me to homosexuality. | 我通常告诉别人 我的前妻把我”掰弯” |
| [02:11] | What’s up? | 有事吗 |
| [02:12] | Billy called. | 比利打来电话 |
| [02:14] | Billy Stanhope? | 比利·斯坦霍普 |
| [02:15] | Yeah, he said he’s has a business proposition for you. | 对 他说他有笔生意想跟你谈 |
| [02:17] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [02:19] | Why on Earth would I do business with him | 在他对我做出了那种事后 |
| [02:22] | after what he did to me? | 我干嘛还要跟他做生意 |
| [02:23] | Hey, don’t get upset with me. I’m just the messenger. | 别跟我生气 我只是个传话人 |
| [02:26] | I’m not upset. I’ve moved on. | 我不是生气 我早无所谓了 |
| [02:28] | It, uh, it’s behind me. | 这事已经过去了 |
| [02:30] | Yeah, I recognize your “I’m not upset” eye twitch. | 我认得你说违心话时的眼睑痉挛 |
| [02:34] | My eye is not twitching. | 我的眼睑才没有痉挛 |
| [02:36] | You know, tell him thank you, but no, thank you. | 跟他说谢谢 但是没得谈 谢谢 |
| [02:39] | Got it. | 收到 |
| [02:40] | I wish him well, but I pass. | 我祝他一切顺利 但这句还是省了吧 |
| [02:42] | Fine. | 好的 |
| [02:43] | I’m flattered, but no can do. | 我倍感荣幸 但无法参与 |
| [02:45] | Understood. | 明白 |
| [02:46] | And if my eye is twitching, | 如果我的眼睑在痉挛 |
| [02:48] | it’s only because I have conjunctivitis. | 那是因为我有结膜炎 |
| [02:51] | You don’t have conjunctivitis, Walden. | 你才没有结膜炎呢 沃尔顿 |
| [02:53] | We’re not married anymore, Bridget. | 我们离婚了 布里奇特 |
| [02:54] | You have no idea what kind of diseases I have. | 我有什么病 关你屁事 |
| [02:57] | Good-bye. | 再见 |
| [03:02] | How about that? | 回击得不错 |
| [03:05] | Billy Stanhope. | 比利·斯坦霍普 |
| [03:21] | Everything okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [03:22] | Yeah. Why? | 没事 怎么了 |
| [03:26] | Uh… the blood-curdling scream? | 让人毛骨悚然的吼叫声 |
| [03:29] | Oh, yeah. Sorry. | 是呀 抱歉 |
| [03:32] | No, no, I often react that way after chatting with my ex-wife. | 没关系 我跟我前妻谈完话也这样 |
| [03:36] | This isn’t about my ex-wife. | 跟我前妻无关 |
| [03:38] | It’s about my ex-friend Billy Stanhope. | 是我的前朋友比利·斯坦霍普 |
| [03:41] | Oh, I’ve never heard you mention him before. | 我从来没听你提过他 |
| [03:43] | Have you ever heard me mention rectal cancer? | 那你有听我提过直肠癌吗 |
| [03:46] | No. | 没有 |
| [03:47] | Same principle. | 同一原理 |
| [03:49] | What went down between you two? | 你们之间有什么渊源 |
| [03:52] | Well, we built a software company in Bridget’s garage, | 我们在布里奇特的车库里开创了一家软件公司 |
| [03:55] | and then sold it for a couple billion dollars. | 然后卖了几十亿美元 |
| [03:57] | That son of a bitch. | 那个混蛋 |
| [04:00] | No wonder you hate him. | 怪不得你会恨他 |
| [04:02] | I don’t think you understand. | 你还没明白 |
| [04:03] | He didn’t want to sell, so when we did, he went crazy. | 是他不想卖 所以当我们卖掉时 他疯了 |
| [04:06] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [04:07] | Yeah, oh, yeah. Here, look, | 真的啊 给你看 |
| [04:08] | he put it on YouTube for the whole world to see. | 他还把怨气撒到网上 让全世界都看见 |
| [04:12] | Hello, world. | 全世界的人们好呀 |
| [04:14] | It’s me, Billy Stanhope, | 我是比利·斯坦霍普 |
| [04:16] | and I’m here to drop another smart bomb of truth! | 我是来投下另一枚真相的炸弹 |
| [04:23] | This is my ex-partner Walden Schmidt. | 这位是我的前搭档 沃尔顿·施密特 |
| [04:25] | Oh, isn’t he pretty? | 他是不是很漂亮呀 |
| [04:27] | Hey, Walden, tell everyone how pretty you are. | 沃尔顿 告诉大家你有多帅 |
| [04:32] | I’m pretty! | 我很帅气 |
| [04:35] | Yes, you are. You are pretty. | 对 你帅气 是个帅哥 |
| [04:38] | But that’s just on the outside. | 但那只是表面 |
| [04:40] | On the inside, you are a soul-sucking, | 内在的你就是一个敲骨吸髓 |
| [04:44] | money-grubbing sellout! | 只认钱不认人的卑鄙小人 |
| [04:47] | Oh, don’t forget giant douche. | 别忘了称我为”大混账” |
| [04:49] | I’m also a giant douche! | 我还是个大混账 |
| [04:52] | Thanks, buddy. | 谢谢 兄弟 |
| [04:52] | I’m always forgetting about your extreme doucheyness! | 我总是忘记你超级混帐的特质 |
| [04:56] | You know what I’m gonna do, Walden? | 你知道我准备干嘛吗 沃尔顿 |
| [04:58] | I… I’m gonna eat you, yeah. | 我要吃掉你 对 |
| [05:02] | I’m gonna eat you and chew you up, | 我要吃掉你 咬碎你 |
| [05:04] | and digest you and then go in the bathroom | 消化你 然后去厕所 |
| [05:07] | and take a big steaming Schmidt! | 拉出一坨热气腾腾的”屎密特” |
| [05:14] | You think that’s bad. | 你觉得不堪入目吗 |
| [05:14] | Watch this one. | 再看看这个 |
| [05:17] | Hey, folks! Walden Schmidt here. | 伙计们 沃尔顿·施密特在此 |
| [05:20] | I just wanted you to see me as I really am. | 我要让大家见识下 真正的我 |
| [05:25] | So he’s actually talking out of his ass? | 看来他真的是用屁股在说话 |
| [05:28] | He calls it “buttriloquism”. | 他称之为”屁眼口技” |
| [05:30] | That’s-That’s very disturbing. | 这真是 真是很恶心 |
| [05:33] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [05:34] | That’s the least disturbing | 这在屁话视频里 |
| [05:35] | of the ass-talking videos. | 恶心程度还算好的 |
| [05:37] | It-It’s crazy. | 真是离谱 |
| [05:40] | I made this guy, like, a billion dollars, | 我让这家伙 身家十亿 |
| [05:42] | and then he turns on me. | 他却反过来针对我 |
| [05:43] | And then he accuses me of being a sellout. | 而且指控我见钱眼开 |
| [05:46] | Talk about ingratitude. | 真是忘恩负义 |
| [05:48] | If you made me rich, | 如果你让我发了财 |
| [05:49] | the only thing I’d accuse you of | 我只会指控你 |
| [05:50] | is being the best… guy ever. | 是世界上最好的人 |
| [05:55] | Thanks. | 多谢 |
| [05:56] | Seriously. If you don’t believe it, | 说真的 如果你不信 |
| [05:57] | throw me a couple of mil and get ready for a tongue bath. | 砸我个几百万 我会给你来个”舌浴” |
| [06:00] | I doubt that will be necessary. | 没这个必要 |
| [06:01] | I am not talking just metaphorically. | 我没有打比方 |
| [06:03] | I will lick you from head to toe. | 我真会把你从头舔到脚 |
| [06:24] | Surprise. | 惊喜 |
| [06:26] | You gotta be kidding me. | 你还有脸上门 |
| [06:27] | Walden… | 沃顿 |
| [06:29] | Walden, come on! | 沃顿 开门 |
| [06:30] | Hey, who’s at the door? | 谁来了 |
| [06:31] | Rectal cancer! | 直肠癌 |
| [06:55] | I’m Billy Stanhope. | 我是比利·斯坦霍普 |
| [06:57] | Oh, yeah, yeah. I recognize you from the video. | 是的 我看过你的视频 |
| [07:00] | You look good. | 气色不错 |
| [07:02] | Well, you know, I cut out sugar and took up yoga, | 我不沾糖了 开始做瑜珈 |
| [07:06] | stopped smoking crack. | 也没磕药了 |
| [07:10] | Well, whatever it is you’re doing, it’s working. | 不管你用了什么方法 总之很有效 |
| [07:12] | Who are you? | 你哪位 |
| [07:14] | Oh, yeah, I’m Walden’s friend… | 我是沃顿的朋友 |
| [07:15] | confidante, mentor, gatekeeper. | 益友 良师 门房 |
| [07:19] | Oh, yeah, Bridget told me about you. | 布里奇特告诉过我 |
| [07:21] | Yeah, the leech. | 你是吃白饭的 |
| [07:24] | Alan Harper. Pleased to meet you. | 艾伦·哈勃 见到你很高兴 |
| [07:26] | Hey. Listen, gatekeeper, any way I could talk | 门房大哥 我可以 |
| [07:28] | to Walden for just five minutes? | 和沃顿聊上五分钟吗 |
| [07:30] | Oh, I don’t think so. He’s pretty peeved. | 我看没机会 他非常生气 |
| [07:32] | I got this billion-dollar idea | 我有个价值十亿的点子 |
| [07:34] | that can’t move forward without him. | 没他的话不能实现 |
| [07:36] | But, look, if he won’t see me, he won’t see me, so… | 既然他不想见我 那就不见吧 |
| [07:38] | Hold up, Billy. | 等等 比利 |
| [07:40] | Come on in. Come on in. | 请进 请进 |
| [07:41] | Uh, talk to me. | 跟我说说 |
| [07:42] | So, uh, a billion dollars, you say? | 价值十亿吗 |
| [07:45] | At least. | 至少 |
| [07:48] | What could possibly be worth a billion dollars? | 有什么东西可以值十亿 |
| [07:50] | It’s simple, really. | 其实挺简单 |
| [07:51] | I mean, are you familiar with | 你知道 |
| [07:52] | web-based aggregate upstream power grid manipulation? | 基于web端的聚合电网操控吗 |
| [07:57] | Uh… I-I have Netflix. | 我知道Netfix网站 |
| [08:01] | Okay, look, it’s not important. | 这不是重点 |
| [08:02] | If you could just… | 只需要 |
| [08:03] | I just need to talk to him for five minutes. | 我只需要和他聊上五分钟 |
| [08:05] | I don’t think that’s gonna happen. | 我觉得不可能 |
| [08:06] | All right. Here’s $50.00. | 好吧 给你50 |
| [08:07] | Wait right here. | 在这儿等着 |
| [08:14] | Yeah? | 什么事 |
| [08:15] | Got a second? | 有时间吗 |
| [08:16] | Yeah, come in. | 进来 |
| [08:19] | Whatcha doin’? | 做什么呢 |
| [08:20] | Playing a racing game. | 玩赛车游戏 |
| [08:21] | Ah, that’s fun. | 好玩儿 |
| [08:23] | Uh, after my divorce, I played “World of Warcraft” for a while, | 我离婚后 曾玩过一段时间的”魔兽世界” |
| [08:26] | hoping to meet girls. | 希望能钓到妹子 |
| [08:29] | Did you meet any? | 钓到了吗 |
| [08:30] | Well, let’s just say, if you’re lonely enough | 这样说吧 如果你孤单够久 |
| [08:32] | and drunk enough, everybody’s a girl. | 喝得够醉 见人都能当妹子 |
| [08:36] | So, listen, um, I was having | 听我说 我刚才 |
| [08:40] | a very interesting conversation with your former compadre. | 和你的前至交进行了一番有趣的对话 |
| [08:46] | You let that son of a bitch in my house? | 你把那个狗娘养的放进了我家 |
| [08:48] | Uh, well, yeah, I-I was just… | 是啊 我只是 |
| [08:50] | You let him in my house?! | 你把他放进了我家 |
| [08:52] | Well, I didn’t see any harm. | 没什么坏处啊 |
| [08:53] | I kinda felt sorry for the guy. | 我觉得他很可怜 |
| [08:54] | I thought I could trust you, Alan! | 我以为我可以相信你 艾伦 |
| [08:55] | You can! I just got sucked in by the words | 你可以 我只是被”价值十亿点子” |
| [08:57] | “billion dollar idea.” | 蒙了心 |
| [09:05] | What idea? | 什么点子 |
| [09:06] | Uh, something about, uh, | 关于什么 |
| [09:08] | upstream grid perambulation? | 电网晃荡 |
| [09:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:14] | Uh, in-in-incubation… ma… ma-masturbation… | 孵孵 孵化 打 打飞机 |
| [09:19] | I don’t know! | 我不知道 |
| [09:21] | Was it web-based aggregated | 是不是基于web端的 |
| [09:22] | upstream power grid manipulation? | 聚合电网操控 |
| [09:24] | Yes, that’s it. | 对 就是这个 |
| [09:25] | Oh, my god… | 老天 |
| [09:28] | He figured out The Electric Suitcase. | 他琢磨出了”电箱” |
| [09:29] | Is it really worth a billion dollars? | 真值十亿吗 |
| [09:31] | Oh, yeah. | 是的 |
| [09:35] | Probably should’ve held out for more than 50. | 敲50块的竹杠太少了 |
| [09:38] | All right, let’s hear it. | 好吧 说来听听 |
| [09:40] | Oh, you look good without the beard. | 刮了胡子看起来不错嘛 |
| [09:42] | And you look good without the crack pipe. | 你不磕药了看起来也不错 |
| [09:48] | You really think we can finally build The Electric Suitcase? | 你真觉得我们可以完成”电箱”吗 |
| [09:50] | Yes. We have the technology now. | 是的 现在已经有这技术了 |
| [09:52] | I-I just need you to help me write the code. | 我需要你帮忙写代码 |
| [09:57] | Really? | 是嘛 |
| [09:58] | You need my help? | 你需要我的帮助 |
| [10:00] | ‘Cause I-I thought I was just a pretty face, | 你不是说我只是个小白脸吗 |
| [10:02] | and you were the brains behind the operation. | 而你才是智慧头脑 |
| [10:03] | Okay, we both know that was Class-A narcotics | 我们都知道那是A级毒品 |
| [10:05] | and psychotic jealousy joining forces to… | 加疯狂嫉妒的作用 促使我 |
| [10:10] | to tell the truth. | 说出真话 |
| [10:13] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [10:14] | Say you’re sorry and… we’ll get to work. | 向我道歉 我们就能合作 |
| [10:17] | I’m here, isn’t that enough? | 我人都来了 这还不够吗 |
| [10:18] | – Nope. Get out. – Okay. | -不行 出去 -好的 |
| [10:20] | Wait, what-whatever. | 等等 随你啦 |
| [10:21] | Fine. | 好的 |
| [10:25] | I’m… | 我 |
| [10:25] | Oh, wait. | 等下 |
| [10:26] | Wald, come on, man. | 沃顿 有这必要吗 |
| [10:28] | Okay. Go. | 好了 开始 |
| [10:30] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [10:32] | I’m sorry to who? | 对不起谁 |
| [10:34] | I’m sorry to Walden Schmidt. | 对不起沃顿·施密特 |
| [10:37] | For? | 原因 |
| [10:38] | For calling him names. | 叫他难听的绰号 |
| [10:40] | And? | 还有呢 |
| [10:43] | Frivolously suing him for $100 million. | 失心疯控告他索赔一亿 |
| [10:47] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [10:49] | Now cross your eyes, stick out your tongue, | 现在做斗鸡眼 伸出舌头 |
| [10:50] | and dance like a monkey. | 跳猴子舞 |
| [10:53] | I will rip your throat out! | 老子宰了你 |
| [10:54] | Bring it on, Poppin’ Fresh! | 来啊 你这个死胖子 |
| [10:55] | – I will do it! – Fellas! Fellas! | -我杀了你 -哥们 哥们 |
| [10:56] | I will do it! | 我杀了你 |
| [10:58] | Oh, wait! | 别打了 |
| [11:05] | I’m getting too old for this crap. | 我已经老到经不起这种摧残了 |
| [11:14] | Now, come on, shake hands. | 拜托 握握手吧 |
| [11:17] | I don’t wanna. | 人家不要 |
| [11:20] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:21] | Walden, you want to be the bigger man? | 沃顿 大肚点怎么样 |
| [11:23] | I am the bigger man. | 我本来就”大”过他 |
| [11:25] | Oh, that’s– yeah, with the short jokes, okay. | 笑我矮是吧 |
| [11:26] | No, you are a short joke. | 你本来就矮 |
| [11:28] | “You are a short joke.” | 你本来就矮 |
| [11:29] | Walden, that’s not helping. | 沃顿 别火上浇油 |
| [11:30] | Now, come on, guys, this is silly! | 别这样 伙计们 太傻了 |
| [11:31] | Now, you’ve got a billion-dollar idea waiting for us. | 数十亿的生意在等着咱们呢 |
| [11:34] | – Us? – Us? | -咱们 -咱们 |
| [11:36] | Okay, you. Bring it in. | 好吧 你们 快握手 |
| [11:43] | See, see? Was that so hard? | 看吧 和好并不难吧 |
| [11:45] | Guess not. | 不难吧 |
| [11:48] | Remember the fight we had | 还记得给咱们 |
| [11:49] | over what to name our first piece of software? | 第一个软件取名时 咱俩大吵一架吗 |
| [11:53] | Yeah. | 记得 |
| [11:54] | You wanted to call it MusicAlgorithm.com. | 你想命名为”MUSIC算法.COM” |
| [11:56] | Yeah, because that’s what it was. | 本来就是MUSIC算法 |
| [11:58] | What it was was boring. | 可这名字逊毙了 |
| [12:00] | Yeah, it was a lot better than SongSnatch. | 总强过”咕歌” |
| [12:02] | Whoa, hey! | 怎么啦 |
| [12:02] | SongSnatch is catchy. | “咕歌”这名字很好记 |
| [12:05] | Oh, yeah, so is herpes! | 疱疹也很好记 |
| [12:06] | Why didn’t we call it Herpes.com?! | 干脆叫”疱疹.COM”好了 |
| [12:08] | Because it was taken! | 这名字已经被人用了 |
| [12:10] | Guys, guys, let’s-let’s bring it back, okay? | 哥们 别跑题了 行吗 |
| [12:12] | Easy does it, guys. | 冷静点 哥们 |
| [12:16] | Right. | 好的 |
| [12:17] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [12:17] | So what did you end up calling it? | 那最后取的什么名字 |
| [12:19] | Blungogo. | 快放手 |
| [12:21] | How’d you come up with that? | 这名字什么来头 |
| [12:23] | It was the sound that Billy was making | 这是我想掐死比利时 |
| [12:24] | when I was trying to choke him to death. | 他发出的声音 |
| [12:26] | Blungogo! | 快放手 |
| [12:29] | I heard that, I knew that was the name. | 我一听见 就知道该叫这名字 |
| [12:32] | Yeah. Way to go, partner. | 取得好 搭档 |
| [12:34] | Hey, if you hadn’t been trying to kill me, | 如果你没想杀死我 |
| [12:35] | it never would’ve come out of my mouth. | 我也不可能说出这句话 |
| [12:39] | You really think we can build this thing? | 你真觉得我们可以成功吗 |
| [12:41] | If anybody can do it, it’s us. | 如果有人能完成 一定是我们 |
| [12:43] | All right, where would we start? | 好的 从哪里着手 |
| [12:45] | Well, first thing, we’d go over | 首先 我们要 |
| [12:46] | the original design for the code, | 看下原始代码 |
| [12:48] | split it up into little chunks that can be handled | 分解成小的功能模 |
| [12:50] | by multiple parallel processors. | 用多个线程同时处理 |
| [12:52] | Sounds good. | 不错 |
| [12:53] | Yeah, that’s what I would do, yeah. | 是啊 换我也会这么做 |
| [12:57] | Then we can start compiling the modules, | 接着编译模块 |
| [12:58] | testing them, see if we can get them to talk to each other. | 测试它们能否互相起作用 |
| [13:00] | Yeah, exactly. | 正是 |
| [13:01] | No brainer. | 显而易见 |
| [13:03] | Maybe the way to start is I’ll set up the testing sandbox, | 不如我先设置测试沙盒 |
| [13:06] | and you set up the I/O module, | 你设置I/O模块 |
| [13:08] | and then we’ll just go from there. | 然后在这基础上开始 |
| [13:09] | Good. | 很好 |
| [13:09] | What do I do? | 我做什么 |
| [13:11] | What can you do? | 你能做什么 |
| [13:14] | I-I can make cookies. | 我会做饼干 |
| [13:15] | You like cookies? | 你喜欢吃饼干吗 |
| [13:18] | Anyway, it’s a multi- billion-dollar idea | 总之 要不是我让这两个家伙和好的话 |
| [13:21] | that doesn’t have a prayer | 这个价值数十亿的点子 |
| [13:22] | unless I get these two guys together. | 根本没戏 |
| [13:23] | And how do they thank me? | 他们是怎么感谢我的 |
| [13:25] | They eat my cookies and send me to 7-Eleven | 吃完我做的饼干 又使唤我去便利店 |
| [13:27] | for Red Bull and Hot Pockets. | 买红牛和馅饼 |
| [13:28] | I got to tell you, | 我告诉你 |
| [13:30] | my feelings are a little bit hurt. | 我的心灵受到了小小的伤害 |
| [13:32] | I mean, I thought Walden and I | 我本以为沃顿和我 |
| [13:34] | were, like, best friends, but it turns out, | 是最好的朋友 结果却是 |
| [13:36] | this Billy guy is really his best friend. | 比利才是他最好的朋友 |
| [13:38] | Well, old friends are hard to compete with. | 论交情是人不如故的 |
| [13:41] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [13:44] | The sad thing is I don’t really have any old friends. | 可悲的是 我没有老朋友 |
| [13:47] | What about the people you went to school with? | 你的旧同学呢 |
| [13:49] | My social life at school was mostly running and hiding. | 我的学生生涯基本上是逃命与藏匿 |
| [13:53] | Summer camp? | 夏令营呢 |
| [13:54] | Oh, I still get Christmas cards | 我现在还有收到辅导员 |
| [13:55] | from this one counselor who’s in prison. | 从监狱寄来的圣诞卡 |
| [13:57] | Prison? | 监狱? |
| [13:58] | Pedophile. | 恋童癖 |
| [14:01] | So, what happened to your girlfriend? | 那你女朋友呢 |
| [14:03] | Oh, she’s on vacation. | 度假去了 |
| [14:04] | Oh, where’d she go? | 去哪里了 |
| [14:05] | Wouldn’t say. | 她没说 |
| [14:07] | It’s kind of a vacation from me. | 摆脱我是度假的目的 |
| [14:10] | So what you’re saying is there’s absolutely no one in your life | 这么说在你生命中完全没有 |
| [14:13] | who you consider a close friend? | 能称为好朋友的人 |
| [14:16] | I don’t count. | 不能算我 |
| [14:18] | Well, there is one person I have a lot of history with. | 有个人和我挺有渊源的 |
| [14:22] | Hey, pal, what’s up? | 姐们儿 还好吗 |
| [14:31] | Hey, don’t forget to declare the routine global. | 嘿 别忘了申明例行全域 |
| [14:33] | Yeah, do I look like my e-mail address is at AOL.com? | 你以为我是电脑白痴吗 |
| [14:37] | Man, I’ve had to pee for, like, an hour. | 我想尿尿得有个把小时了 |
| [14:39] | I’ve had to pee for two hours. | 我都憋了两小时的尿了 |
| [14:40] | If you really have to go, | 如果你真想尿尿 |
| [14:41] | there’s a bathroom down the hallway. | 走廊到底有个卫生间 |
| [14:43] | Oh, hey, I can hold it. | 嘿 我能hold住 |
| [14:44] | If you have to use it though, go right ahead. | 不过要是你想去的话 就去好了 |
| [14:45] | Oh, no, I can hold it. | 免了 我也能hold住 |
| [14:47] | All right, fine. | 行啊 |
| [14:51] | You really are a competitive son of a bitch, aren’t you? | 你这混帐还真是什么都要跟我争 对吧 |
| [14:53] | Hey, don’t rag on me just ’cause you have a girlie bladder. | 你有个小女生似的膀胱别跟我唠叨 |
| [14:56] | We’ll see who’s got the girlie bladder. | 咱看看谁是小女生的膀胱 |
| [14:58] | Oh, okay. Well, all right. | 行啊 没问题 |
| [15:14] | I don’t have to cross my legs. | 我可用不着翘二郎腿 |
| [15:18] | I don’t have to cross my legs, either. | 我也用不着翘二郎腿 |
| [15:49] | You know what, I think I’m going to | 我要把这个程序打印出来 |
| [15:51] | print this routine as a backup. | 做一下备份 |
| [15:56] | Control… P. | 控制键P |
| [16:00] | That’s a good idea. | 好主意 |
| [16:02] | I think I’m gonna print up all of my routines. | 我要把我的程序全打出来 |
| [16:07] | P-P-P P-P-P… | |
| [16:09] | P-P-P P-P… P… | |
| [16:11] | P-P-P P-P! P… | |
| [16:13] | Soup? | 汤? |
| [16:14] | Why’d you bring me soup? | 你干嘛给我带汤来 |
| [16:15] | ‘Cause you’re sick. | 你不是病了么 |
| [16:16] | Oh, right. | 哦 对 |
| [16:18] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [16:22] | And let’s face it, | 可不是嘛 |
| [16:23] | friends should take care of each other. | 朋友间就该友爱互助啊 |
| [16:25] | We’re friends? | 我们是朋友? |
| [16:26] | Oh, come on, Berta. | 拜托 波塔 |
| [16:27] | How many years have we known each other? | 咱都认识多少年了? |
| [16:29] | That-That’s got to count for something. | 抬头不见低头见的 |
| [16:30] | You have been in my life longer than both my husbands | 你在我生命中占据的时间比我两任老公 |
| [16:33] | and most of my underwear. | 甚至我的内衣都长 |
| [16:36] | Come here, friend. | 来吧 老朋友 |
| [16:38] | Now we’re hugging friends. | 那我们的确算老朋友吧 |
| [16:41] | Those hands start to wander, this friendship is over. | 你的手要是敢乱摸 马上跟你绝交 |
| [16:45] | Excuse me. | 抱歉 |
| [16:47] | You know, that’s-that’s what I love about you. | 我就喜欢你这一点 |
| [16:50] | You know, the salty sense of humor, | 挖苦人的幽默感啦 |
| [16:51] | poking fun at me. | 取笑我啦 |
| [16:53] | That’s the glue that binds us together. | 真是这一点把咱们紧紧联系在一起 |
| [16:55] | Right. | 行啦 |
| [16:59] | Gracias. | 谢谢 |
| [17:01] | Adios. | 再见 |
| [17:04] | What was that? | 那是啥 |
| [17:05] | It’s Mexican Halloween. | 墨西哥版的万圣节 |
| [17:12] | So, listen, friend, I wonder if you’d do me a little favor. | 听着 朋友 你看你能不能帮我点小忙 |
| [17:16] | Uh, sure, name it. | 当然 你说话 |
| [17:17] | I need you to go to this address, | 我要你去这个地址 |
| [17:20] | ask for Shermie and give him this envelope. | 找雪米 把这个信封给他 |
| [17:24] | Oh, happy to. | 很乐意 |
| [17:25] | No one else, only Shermie. | 不要给别人 只给雪米 |
| [17:27] | Okay. | 行啊 |
| [17:29] | Who’s Shermie? | 雪米是谁 |
| [17:30] | Just a guy I owe some money to. | 我欠他些钱 |
| [17:32] | So this is the money. | 这里面是钱 |
| [17:33] | Most of it. | 多数是 |
| [17:43] | Ow! Oh! Okay… | 哦 哦 行了 |
| [17:46] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [17:51] | Sometimes peeing’s better than sex. | 有时尿尿比做爱还爽 |
| [17:53] | Absolutely. | 绝对的 |
| [17:55] | Although, when I was smoking crack, | 不过呢 我嗑药磕嗨的时候 |
| [17:56] | a lot of times peeing and sex were the same thing. | 很多时候尿尿和做爱是一回事 |
| [18:02] | Hey, uh, while we’re on the subject… | 嘿 既然我们说到这个话题了 |
| [18:04] | What, peeing? | 什么 尿尿吗 |
| [18:05] | No, sex. | 不 做爱 |
| [18:06] | Something you should know. | 有件事要告诉你 |
| [18:08] | About sex? | 关于做爱的? |
| [18:09] | I think I’m okay. | 我觉得我没问题 |
| [18:10] | Yeah, we’ve all seen the python. | 我们都见过你的巨蟒了 |
| [18:15] | What can I tell you, it’s factory equipment. | 我能怎么说呢 这是原厂原配的 |
| [18:17] | Right, great, no. | 行行 不是那事 |
| [18:18] | It’s about your ex-wife. | 你前妻额度时 |
| [18:20] | What, Bridget? | 怎么 布里奇特? |
| [18:21] | Yeah, I’m, uh… kinda sleeping with her. | 我…跟她搞上了 |
| [18:24] | What?! | 什么 |
| [18:25] | Hey, watch where you’re pointing that thing! | 嘿 你那老二别瞎指啊 |
| [18:29] | When did this start? | 什么时候开始的 |
| [18:30] | Well, you know I always had a thing for her. | 你知道我一直都对她有感觉的 |
| [18:32] | And when you guys broke up, I took her out, you know, | 你们俩分手的时候 我约她了 |
| [18:35] | gave her a shoulder to cry on, | 给了她一个可以依靠的肩膀 |
| [18:36] | and she just kind of worked her way down. | 然后她就投怀送抱了 |
| [18:40] | So when she called me about you…? | 这么说她打电话来说你的事的时候 |
| [18:42] | I was there. | 我在她那儿 |
| [18:45] | Oh, man. | 该死的 |
| [18:45] | Hey, I wasn’t listening. | 我没在听 |
| [18:47] | Her thighs were covering my ears. | 她的大腿正好遮住我耳朵了 |
| [18:50] | Oh, you son of a bitch! | 你个狗娘养的 |
| [18:51] | Hey! Okay, okay! | 嘿 好吧 |
| [18:55] | I swear to God, Shermie! | 向老天发誓 雪米 |
| [18:56] | That’s all she gave me! | 她就给了我这么多 |
| [19:00] | Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap. | 该死的 该死的 该死的 该死的 |
| [19:05] | Oh, crap, oh, crap. | 该死的 该死的 |
| [19:13] | You still mad about me and Bridget? | 你还在生我和布里奇特的气吗 |
| [19:15] | I hate your guts. | 我恨死你了 |
| [19:17] | Good, that’s what I was going for. | 很好 要的就是这效果 |
| [19:27] | What… what happened to your pants? | 你的裤子咋的了 |
| [19:30] | Uh, I had a little accident. | 出了一点小意外 |
| [19:33] | Why are you wearing robes? | 你们怎么穿浴袍 |
| [19:35] | Uh, we had a little accident, too. | 我们也出了点小意外 |
| [19:39] | H-H-How are you guys doing? | 你们俩干得怎么样了 |
| [19:41] | Oh, hey, we’re good, man. | 很好 老兄 |
| [19:43] | We’re about to, uh, about to test the first module. | 我们就要 测试第一模组了 |
| [19:45] | Walden, would you do the honors? | 沃顿 您先请 |
| [19:47] | Oh, no, please. | 不 请吧 |
| [19:48] | No, it was your vision. | 不 这是你的设想 |
| [19:49] | Yeah, but it was your expertise. | 不过是靠你的技术才成的 |
| [19:51] | Yeah, but I’m banging your ex-wife. | 对 不过我搞了你前妻 |
| [19:54] | All the while wondering if she misses the python. | 她肯定想死我的巨蟒了 |
| [19:58] | Press the damn button. | 按那该死的按钮把 |
| [19:59] | Fine. | 行啊 |
| [20:02] | Behold the birth | 让你见识下 |
| [20:05] | of The Stanhope-Schmidt Electric Suitcase. | 斯坦霍普-施密特电箱的诞生 |
| [20:11] | Yes! Yes! | -成功了 -成功了 |
| [20:15] | That’s it? | 就这样? |
| [20:17] | I mean, I have an iPhone app | 我是说 我有个iPhone程序 |
| [20:19] | that’ll turn out the house lights. | 也能把房子灯灭了 |
| [20:21] | No, no, no, no. It’s much more than that. | 不不 不只是这个 |
| [20:23] | Name a state. | 说个州(状态) |
| [20:24] | Engorged. | 勃起 |
| [20:28] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [20:29] | Uh, Florida. | 佛罗里达 |
| [20:34] | Okay, I’m-I’m sorry, guys, | 抱歉 伙计们 |
| [20:35] | I just don’t get it. | 我还是不明白 |
| [20:36] | I’m going to bed. | 我上床去了 |
| [20:38] | Oh, try Canada. | 试试加拿大 |
| [20:39] | Lights “oot.” | 咩灯 |
| [20:44] | Okay, now… the master switch. | 现在…主开关 |
| [20:49] | Awesome! | 碉堡了 |