| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Previously, on Two And A Half Men | 《好汉两个半》前情回顾 |
| [00:03] | Why don’t you move in with me? | 你何不搬过来跟我一起住 |
| [00:04] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:06] | Yeah, you and Ava move in with me. | 你和艾娃都搬来跟我住 |
| [00:08] | I love you, and I want you in my life. | 我爱你 我要你跟我一起生活 |
| [00:10] | I want to have a future with you. | 我希望能跟你共筑未来 |
| [00:12] | If Ava and I move in, | 如果艾娃和我搬过去 |
| [00:15] | isn’t somebody going to have to move out? | 某人是不是得搬走 |
| [00:25] | Oh, yeah, yeah. That’s the ticket. | 爽啊 太爽了 就是那里 |
| [00:32] | Yes. Out with the bad. | 太爽了 排毒养颜啊 |
| [00:36] | Morning. | 早啊 |
| [00:38] | Morning. | 早 |
| [00:39] | Hey, I’m glad you’re up. | 你醒了就好 |
| [00:40] | I wanted… | 我想 |
| [00:44] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [00:50] | Is that really a good workout? | 这样锻炼真的有用吗 |
| [00:52] | Oh, yeah, yeah. It’s great for the circulation, | 有啊 有助于血液循环 |
| [00:54] | stretches the spine. | 伸展脊柱 |
| [00:57] | Your ball is hanging out. | 你的蛋蛋跑出来了 |
| [00:59] | Oopsie-daisy. | 不好意思 |
| [01:01] | Back in the barn. | 回仓了 |
| [01:04] | Wha… All right, listen, uh, | 好吧 那个 |
| [01:06] | it’s spring break this week, | 这周是春假 |
| [01:07] | so Zoey and her daughter are going to stay here. | 佐伊和她女儿要来这边住 |
| [01:10] | Oh, that’s nice. | 那好啊 |
| [01:11] | Yeah, it’s kind of like a… trial run. | 其实这也算是一次试运行 |
| [01:14] | You know, see what it’s like to live together | 我们想在做长期打算之前 |
| [01:16] | before we decide to do anything permanent. | 先同居一段时间看看 |
| [01:19] | Oh, that’s a good idea. | 好主意 |
| [01:20] | Living together is tricky. | 同居是不容易啊 |
| [01:23] | Ball. | 蛋蛋 |
| [01:26] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [01:27] | Of course it’s going to be a little tight | 当然 我们全都住在这里 |
| [01:29] | with all of us living here. | 会稍微挤一点 |
| [01:30] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [01:32] | That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. | 这正是我想跟你说的 |
| [01:34] | Oh, don’t worry. I’ll tell Jake to go to his mom’s. | 别担心 我会叫杰克去他妈那里 |
| [01:37] | Good, good. | 好 好 |
| [01:39] | And I’ll make myself scarce. You won’t even know I’m here. | 我会避嫌 你们不会注意到我的存在 |
| [01:43] | Oop. Stepped on a duck. | 哎呀 不小心”漏气”了 |
| [01:47] | All right, actually, I’m going to need you to, uh, | 其实 我想让你这个星期 |
| [01:49] | move out for the week. | 先搬出去住 |
| [01:53] | What, wait, the whole week? | 等等 整个星期吗 |
| [01:54] | Yeah, you and Zoey don’t really gel, | 对 你和佐伊不太合得来 |
| [01:56] | so, I just thought it’d be for the best. | 所以 我觉得这样比较好 |
| [01:58] | Oh, oh, th’s fine. Uh, but, uh, you know, | 没关系 不过 |
| [02:00] | just for the record, I gel with pretty much everybody. | 说明一下 我跟大部分人都合得来 |
| [02:04] | I mean, ask around, I’m positively gelatinous. | 你可以去问问 我可和蔼可亲了 |
| [02:08] | I know, it’s her. | 我知道 是她的问题 |
| [02:11] | So, the plan is, I come back after a week? | 那么 我一周后能回来吧 |
| [02:13] | Uh, you might want to think of this as a trial run of your own. | 你也可以把这当成你自力更生的试运行 |
| [02:16] | I mean, in case Zoey and I do decide to | 以免佐伊和我决定 |
| [02:18] | live together permanently. | 以后一起生活 |
| [02:20] | Sure, sure, I get it. | 当然 我明白 |
| [02:22] | Uh, and, uh, let me just add that | 我再补充一句 |
| [02:25] | no one is rooting for your personal happiness more than I am. | 没有人比我更支持你的个人幸福 |
| [02:28] | That’s good to hear. | 你能这么说 我很高兴 |
| [02:30] | – Thanks, man. – Oh, no, no, no. | -谢谢伙计 -别这么说 |
| [02:33] | Thank you, buddy. | 应该我谢谢你 |
| [02:40] | No reason to panic. | 没必要慌 |
| [02:42] | Just got to find a temporary new home… | 找个暂时落脚的新家就行了 |
| [02:56] | …and three new balls. | 还有三颗新蛋蛋[球] |
| [03:15] | – What are you doing? – I’m taking a break. | -你在干什么 -我休息一下 |
| [03:18] | – Didn’t you just get here? – Yeah. | -你不是刚到吗 -是啊 |
| [03:25] | Anyway, | 算了 |
| [03:27] | I just wanted to give you a heads up | 我想先给你提个醒 |
| [03:28] | that Zoey’s going to stay here for the week. | 这周佐伊要过来这边住 |
| [03:31] | – Uh-huh. – And she’s bringing her daughter. | -收到 -她会带女儿过来 |
| [03:33] | – How old? – Seven. | -多大 -七岁 |
| [03:35] | See ya in a week. | 我们一周后见 |
| [03:38] | Oh, come on, Berta. | 别这样 波塔 |
| [03:39] | You’ll love her. She’s adorable. | 你肯定会喜欢她的 她可爱极了 |
| [03:41] | Maybe to her mother, | 她妈肯定喜欢她 |
| [03:42] | and someone who’s trying to get into her mother’s pants. | 还有拼命想扒她妈裤子的某人 |
| [03:46] | All right, look, it’s not going to be any extra work for you. | 好吧 这不会给你加什么活的 |
| [03:48] | What ever Zoey doesn’t take care of, I’ll handle. | 任何佐伊照顾不了的 都由我来处理 |
| [03:50] | Really? | 真的假的 |
| [03:51] | You’re going to take care of a seven-year-old? | 你去照顾一个七岁的小姑娘 |
| [03:53] | Yeah. We get along great. | 对 我们处得挺好的 |
| [03:55] | And besides, I got to learn sometime. | 况且 我总要学会带小孩 |
| [03:57] | I mean, if Zoey and I get married, | 如果我和佐伊结婚了 |
| [03:59] | I’ll be Ava’s stepdad. | 我就是艾娃的后爸了 |
| [04:02] | You know, once upon a time, | 你知道吗 很久以前 |
| [04:05] | a cute little boy came to live in this house for a few days. | 一个可爱的小男孩在这里住了几天 |
| [04:09] | Maybe you’ve met him. | 你可能还见过他 |
| [04:11] | He’s the pot-soaked masturbating couch potato | 他现在成了吸大麻打飞机的沙发土豆 |
| [04:14] | who eats all your cookies. | 还吃光了你的曲奇 |
| [04:17] | Is he the one who finished off my macaroons? | 我的马卡龙也是他吃光的吗 |
| [04:19] | Your macaroons and my pot. | 你的马卡龙还有我的大麻 |
| [04:23] | My point being, fool me once, shame on you. | 在我看来 耍我一次 你可耻 |
| [04:27] | Fool me twice, I want a fully funded 401(k) and a Camaro. | 耍我两次 我就要全保养老金和一辆卡梅罗 |
| [04:33] | Come on, Berta, it’s just going to be for a week, | 拜托 就一周而已 |
| [04:36] | and it’s just the three of us. | 而且就我们三个人 |
| [04:37] | Really? Did Zippy finally hang himself? | 真的吗 废柴终于悬梁自尽了吗 |
| [04:42] | No. | 没有 |
| [04:43] | He’s going to stay somewhere else. | 他会去别的地方 |
| [04:44] | Zoey and I want to see what it’s like to live like a family, | 佐伊和我想试试同居的家庭生活 |
| [04:47] | with a housekeeper. | 加个管家 |
| [04:48] | Who’s got a retirement plan and a muscle car. | 有养老金计划和一辆肌肉车的管家 |
| [04:52] | All right, look, Berta, if you don’t want to help me with this, | 波塔 如果你这次不帮我 |
| [04:54] | I will find another housekeeper | 我会再找一个 |
| [04:55] | who’s willing to do very little work for a very large salary | 愿意在马里布海滨别墅拿着丰厚薪水 |
| [04:58] | in a Malibu beach house. | 却只要做很少活的管家 |
| [05:01] | You’re cute, but you got a mean streak. | 人长得挺帅的 心眼咋这么小 |
| [05:09] | All right, here we are. | 好了 我们到了 |
| [05:11] | What do you think? | 你喜欢吗 |
| [05:12] | Oh, boy, the ocean! | 哇 大海耶 |
| [05:14] | Stay on the deck! | 在露台上玩 |
| [05:16] | Oh, she’s so excited, she didn’t sleep at all last night. | 她太兴奋了 昨晚一直没睡 |
| [05:20] | Yeah, I’m kind of excited, too. | 我也挺兴奋的 |
| [05:21] | – Really? I’m terrified. – Why? | -真的吗 我挺担心的 -为什么 |
| [05:24] | Well, because if this little experiment doesn’t work, | 因为如果这次尝试不成功 |
| [05:27] | it pretty much means we’re done, doesn’t it? | 那我们就等于玩完了 不是吗 |
| [05:30] | Wow, now I’m terrified, too. | 我现在也担心了 |
| [05:33] | Oh, hey, there she is, | 终于来了 |
| [05:35] | the new queen of the castle, | 城堡的新女王 |
| [05:37] | uh, milady. | 女王陛下 |
| [05:40] | Hello, Alan. | 你好 艾伦 |
| [05:41] | Thank you so much for letting my boyfriend | 真谢谢你 这周能让我的男朋友 |
| [05:42] | use his own house for the week. | 用回自己的房子 |
| [05:44] | Snidely put. | 讽得巧妙 |
| [05:46] | Thank you. So, where are you staying? | 谢谢 你准备住哪 |
| [05:48] | Uh, well, I was thinking that I was going to rent a suite | 我本来想去贝莱尔酒店租一套房 |
| [05:51] | at the Bel Air Hotel, uh, but then I realized | 不过我又想起来那得花钱 |
| [05:53] | that cost money and I have none. | 而我又身无分文 |
| [05:55] | So, um, I’m just going to stay with Lyndsey. | 所以我还是去琳赛家吧 |
| [05:58] | How wonderful for her. | 她可真是大方 |
| [06:04] | Al right, I will, uh, I will see you in a week. | 好了 我们一周后见 |
| [06:07] | – See ya. – In a week. | -再见 -一周后再见 |
| [06:08] | – Yeah. – Say it. | -对 -说出来 |
| [06:12] | I’ll see ya in a week. | 我们一周后再见 |
| [06:13] | – Okay, you two have fun. – All right. | -你们玩得开心点 -好的 |
| [06:16] | Oh, oh, wait. What room are you planning | 等等 你打算让那个小姑娘 |
| [06:18] | – to put the little girl in? – Yours. | -住谁的房间 -你的 |
| [06:20] | Oh, oh, well, then I better get a few things out of there. | 那我最好还是把一些东西拿出去 |
| [06:26] | Mostly magazines. | 大部分是杂志 |
| [06:29] | Maybe we should put her in Jake’s room. | 要不让她住杰克房间吧 |
| [06:30] | No, that’s actually worse. | 不行 那样更糟 |
| [06:36] | You ready for another beer? | 想再来一瓶啤酒吗 |
| [06:38] | Oh, aren’t you a doll. | 你太善解人意啦 |
| [06:41] | You know…Eldridge is with his father this week. | 埃尔德里奇这周和他爸爸一起 |
| [06:44] | Whoo, and Jake’s with his mother. Mmm. | 杰克和他妈妈在一起 |
| [06:47] | So, I guess we can do anything we want. | 我们可以为所欲为了 |
| [06:49] | Yeah, and what do you want, you dirty girl? | 你想要什么啊 小坏蛋 |
| [06:54] | Well, you know what would make me really happy? | 你知道什么会让我开心吗 |
| [06:56] | Whatever it is, I’ll do it. | 无论什么我都做 |
| [06:58] | The guest toilet is broken. I want you to fix it. | 客房厕所坏了 想要你修理下 |
| [07:04] | Uh, are we role-playing? | 我们现在玩角色扮演吗 |
| [07:08] | Am I the naughty plumber | 我是个色色的水管工 |
| [07:10] | here to snake your drain? | 来”疏通”你的”管道”吗 |
| [07:14] | No. | 不是的 |
| [07:16] | You’re the loving boyfriend here to fix my toilet. | 你是来帮我修厕所的可爱男朋友 |
| [07:21] | Seriously? | 不开玩笑吗 |
| [07:22] | Seriously. | 绝对认真 |
| [07:24] | -Now? -Now. | -现在吗 -就现在 |
| [07:26] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [07:31] | Hey, uh, when you’re done with that, | 等你修好了 |
| [07:32] | would you take the patio furniture out of the garage | 能不能把露台家具从车库拿出来 |
| [07:34] | -and put it in the backyard? -Sure. | -然后抬到院子吗 -没问题 |
| [07:37] | Make sure you wash it first. | 记得先洗一下 |
| [07:39] | You got it. | 解决 |
| [07:40] | Yep, I got it all right. | 轻松解决 |
| [07:50] | I forgot a few things. I’m going to run to the store. | 我少带了点东西 要去下商店 |
| [07:52] | Oh, you know, relax. I’ll go for you. | 我去帮你买吧 |
| [07:54] | Actually, there’s things I need to buy | 我要买的东西 |
| [07:56] | that I’d rather you not know I need. | 是不想让你看见的 |
| [07:58] | Say no more. | 当我没说 |
| [08:00] | -Put your coat on, Ava. -I don’t want to go– I’m playing. | -艾娃穿上你的外套 -我不出去 我要玩 |
| [08:02] | -Ava, come on. -No, she’s fine. | -听话 -没事的 |
| [08:04] | -I’ll watch her. -You sure? | -我会看着她 -你确定吗 |
| [08:07] | Yeah, of course. It’s no big deal. | 没问题 小事一桩 |
| [08:09] | Do you want to stay here with Walden? | 你愿意和沃顿在家玩吗 |
| [08:10] | Yes, please. | 好啊 |
| [08:12] | Okay. See you in about an hour. | 那就一小时后见 |
| [08:14] | -Bye. -Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
| [08:19] | The sweet, sweet smell of freedom. | 人世间最美好的就是自由啊 |
| [08:30] | -Hi. -I’m bored. | -嗨 -我好无聊啊 |
| [08:33] | I thought you were playing with your dolls. | 你不是和你的娃娃一起玩呢 |
| [08:35] | I finished. | 玩完了 |
| [08:38] | What do you want to do? | 你想做什么 |
| [08:40] | Well… | 这个嘛… |
| [08:58] | * I come home in the morning light * | * 彻夜不归 清晨返家 * |
| [09:01] | * My mother says, “when you gonna live your life right?” * | * 老妈念叨 何时学乖 * |
| [09:05] | * Oh, mother dear, we’re not the fortunate ones * | * 我的老妈 人生苦短* |
| [09:09] | * And girls, they want to have fun * | * 青春女孩 都想嬉戏 * |
| [09:12] | * Oh, girls just want to have fun * | * 青春女孩 只想嬉戏 * |
| [09:23] | * The phone rings in the middle of the night * | * 午夜时分 电话响起 * |
| [09:27] | * My father yells, “what you gonna do with your life?” * | * 老爹怒问 人生目标 * |
| [09:31] | * Oh, daddy dear, you know you’re still number one * | * 我的老爹 我最爱你 * |
| [09:35] | * But girls, they want to have fun * | * 青春女孩 都想嬉戏 * |
| [09:38] | * Oh, girls, just want to have fun * | * 青春女孩 只想嬉戏 * |
| [09:41] | * That’s all they really want * | * 别无所求 只想嬉戏 * |
| [09:45] | * Some fun * | * 小小嬉戏 * |
| [09:49] | * When the working day is done * | * 忙碌过后 * |
| [09:52] | * Oh, girls, they want to have fun * | * 就想嬉戏 * |
| [09:56] | * Oh, girls just want to have… * | * 只想嬉戏 * |
| [09:59] | There’s my good girl. | 真是我的乖女儿 |
| [10:01] | Hi, Mommy. | 你好 老妈 |
| [10:03] | Where’s Walden? | 沃顿呢 |
| [10:04] | Right there. | 就在这 |
| [10:08] | He said it’s his nap time. | 他说 到他午睡时间了 |
| [10:16] | I think I found your problem! | 我发现是哪里的问题了 |
| [10:18] | You have got a blown out fuse! | 保险丝烧坏了 |
| [10:20] | Can you fix it? | 你会修吗 |
| [10:21] | I don’t see any spare fuses but, uh, | 没见你有多余的保险丝啊 |
| [10:26] | -I do know a little tick. -What’s that? | -不过我知道一个小秘方 -是什么 |
| [10:27] | Well, most people don’t know this, | 大多数人都不知道 |
| [10:28] | but you can use an ordinary copper penny | 可以用普通的铜质硬币 |
| [10:31] | -to replace a fuse. -No kidding? | -代替保险丝 -没开玩笑吧 |
| [10:34] | Yeah, electricians won’t tell you | 电工可不会告诉你这个窍门啊 |
| [10:36] | ’cause they want to charge you… | 因为他们想收你的钱 |
| [10:44] | It worked! The TV’s back on! | 管用啦 电视又可以看了 |
| [10:58] | “They were married soon after, | 最后他们结婚了 |
| [11:00] | “and lived happily together for many, many years. | 永远幸福的生活在一起 |
| [11:03] | The end.” | 完 |
| [11:05] | Big surprise, huh? | 结局很意外是吧 |
| [11:12] | Thank God. | 感谢上帝 |
| [11:22] | It’s too dark. | 太黑了 |
| [11:25] | Oh, sorry. Here you go. | 对不起啊 我开灯 |
| [11:28] | That’s too bright. | 又太亮了 |
| [11:32] | Okay. Uh… how about… | 这样吧 |
| [11:35] | I turn the bathroom light on | 我把厕所灯打开 |
| [11:36] | -and leave the door open a crack? -All right. | -然后开着厕所门好吗 -好的 |
| [11:41] | How’s that? | 现在如何 |
| [11:42] | Better. | 好多了 |
| [11:43] | All right. | 那就这样 |
| [11:44] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [11:45] | Did you look under the bed? | 你检查床底下了吗 |
| [11:47] | No. Why, did you find some funny magazines? | 没有啊 你看到什么奇怪的杂志吗 |
| [11:51] | You have to check for monsters. | 你得检查有没有怪物 |
| [11:59] | Nope, no monsters. | 没有 没有怪物 |
| [12:01] | Okay. Good night. | 好吧晚安 |
| [12:03] | What about the closet? | 衣柜里呢 |
| [12:05] | What about it? | 衣柜咋啦 |
| [12:06] | Monsters. | 怪物啊 |
| [12:10] | -I don’t want to have nightmares. -Right. | -我不想做恶梦啊 -懂了 |
| [12:14] | It’s all clear. | 没问题 |
| [12:19] | Aah… great. | 太棒了 |
| [12:21] | Now I’m gonna have nightmares. | 换我得做恶梦了 |
| [12:23] | Okay, okay, good night. | 现在可以晚安了 |
| [12:25] | I’m thirsty. | 我口渴了 |
| [12:28] | You’re joking. | 别开玩笑了 |
| [12:30] | Why would I joke about thirsty? | 干嘛要开我口渴的玩笑啊 |
| [12:32] | Thirsty isn’t funny. | 口渴又没笑点 |
| [12:35] | I’ll get you a glass of water. | 我给你倒一杯水 |
| [12:37] | No, I want fizzy water. | 我要起泡水 |
| [12:40] | You want Perrier? | 你喝沛绿雅吗 |
| [12:42] | Pellegrino would be fine. | 圣培露最好 |
| [12:46] | Okay. | 没问题 |
| [12:47] | I’ll go see what we have. | 我去看看有啥 |
| [12:51] | How did the story end? | 故事是什么结局 |
| [12:54] | Uh… they got married, | 他们结婚了 |
| [12:56] | and they lived happily together for many, many years. | 他们永远幸福的生活在一起 |
| [13:01] | Till they had kids. | 直到他们有了孩子 |
| [13:07] | How are you feeling? | 你感觉咋样 |
| [13:08] | All right. | 还好 |
| [13:09] | My hand’s still a little numb. | 手还是有点麻 |
| [13:13] | Well, let’s see if I can make it all better. | 看看我能不能让你感觉好点 |
| [13:17] | Make it all better. | 让我的”感觉”大好特好吧 |
| [13:18] | Daddy like. Mmm… | 小爷喜欢 |
| [13:22] | Did you hear something? | 你听见什么声音了吗 |
| [13:23] | Mm, nothing but the rustling in my jammies. | 只有我裤里雄起的声音啊 |
| [13:27] | No! | 不是的 |
| [13:28] | There’s someone downstairs. | 楼下有人 |
| [13:30] | -No, there isn’t. -Come on, make it all better. | -真的有啊 -来啊 快让我”感觉好点” |
| [13:32] | Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [13:33] | There’s someone in the house. Go look. | 有人进来屋子里了 你去看看 |
| [13:36] | Really? With a dead hand and the beginnings of an erection? | 一手废了 小弟”初勃”都不放过我啊 |
| [13:40] | Go. | 快去 |
| [13:46] | And thus ends the erection. | 现在初勃变不勃了 |
| [14:14] | Who keeps their weed in the crisper? | 谁会把大麻放保鲜柜里 |
| [14:16] | What, you want to get crispy, don’t you? | 咱不就图一个欲仙欲死嘛 对吧 |
| [14:34] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [14:38] | It’s still dark out. | 天还黑着呢 |
| [14:40] | It’s breakfast time. | 早餐时间到啦 |
| [14:41] | Maybe in London. | 你过的是伦敦时间吧 |
| [14:44] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [14:46] | She wants breakfast. | 你女儿想吃早餐 |
| [14:50] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [14:51] | Just give me a minute. | 我再眯一会儿就起来 |
| [14:53] | No, you sleep; I’ll get it. | 没事你接着睡 不如让我来吧 |
| [14:55] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:58] | That’s it? No argument? | 这么干脆 不跟我争下吗 |
| [15:06] | All right. | 那好吧 |
| [15:08] | What do you want? | 想吃点什么啊你 |
| [15:09] | Corn Flakes or Cheerios or… | 玉米片还是燕麦片还是… |
| [15:12] | Eggs Benedict. | 火腿蛋松饼 |
| [15:14] | Of course. | 你就爱麻烦的 |
| [15:19] | Watch your step. | 小心脚下 |
| [15:21] | Yeah, wouldn’t want to get hurt. | 是啊 再来一下可伤不起了 |
| [15:28] | Those pain pills starting to kick in yet? | 那些止痛药起效果了吗 |
| [15:29] | Oh, yeah. | 当然 |
| [15:30] | You could spread me on a toast. | 你直接把我摊平夹面包里都行 |
| [15:35] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [15:36] | Let’s get you into bed. | 我把你弄上床休息吧 |
| [15:38] | No, no. | 非也非也 |
| [15:39] | Let’s get you into bed. | 让我把你”弄”上床吧 |
| [15:41] | Seriously? | 你不是吧 |
| [15:42] | You want to fool around? | 你这情况还”性致勃勃”呢 |
| [15:44] | Parts of me do. | 局部地区表示同意 |
| [15:45] | Mr. Nose says, “No,” | 大鼻哥说 不要 |
| [15:47] | but Mr. Hose says: “Yes”” | 水管兄说 我要 |
| [15:51] | Tell you what, | 不如这样 |
| [15:52] | why don’t you just lie down and let me take care of you. | 你在床上好好躺着 让我来”照顾”你 |
| [15:56] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [15:58] | You took care of me when I thought | 我觉得有人闯进家门时 |
| [15:59] | there was someone in the house. | 是你站出来 照顾了我 |
| [16:00] | Oh, right, right, I did. | 是啊 是啊 我就是那么做的 |
| [16:01] | I was brave. | 哥勇猛果敢呢 |
| [16:04] | Let’s just get this belt and zipper undone. | 先让我把这些皮带和拉链一一解开 |
| [16:07] | Good thing you could breathe through your nose. | 幸好你的鼻子还能呼吸 嘴巴能干别的”活” |
| [16:10] | – What?! – Ball snag! | -怎么了 -拉链夹蛋了 |
| [16:12] | – Oh, sorry! – No, no, don’t touch it! | -抱歉 -别 别 别碰它 |
| [16:14] | Don’t…! | 别… |
| [16:18] | I think I broke Mr.Hose. | 水管兄也阵亡了 |
| [16:34] | What? | 咋了 |
| [16:35] | What in the hell happened here? | 这里他妈的发生什么事情了 |
| [16:37] | I tried to make breakfast for the kid. | 我试着给那小姑娘做早餐来着 |
| [16:39] | “Tried”? | “试着” |
| [16:41] | Yeah. The eggs were too runny, | 我煎的蛋 没弄熟 |
| [16:44] | so I made oatmeal that was too dry, | 我泡的燕麦片 太干涩 |
| [16:48] | so I made waffles that were– and I quote– | 我做的华夫饼 用她的话说就是 |
| [16:51] | “Bloody dreadful.” | “招糕透顶” |
| [16:54] | Where is she now? | 小姑娘人哪去了 |
| [16:56] | I don’t know; I don’t care. | 我不清楚 也不在乎 |
| [17:00] | I can’t do this, Berta. | 我真的做不来 波塔 |
| [17:01] | It’s just… it’s too much. | 真的是… 真的是太累人了 |
| [17:03] | She just never stops. | 她一刻也停不下来 |
| [17:04] | Yeah, I raised four daughters. | 可不是嘛 我家可是四千金 |
| [17:07] | The only thing that slows them down is jail and johnsons. | 能让她们不乱跑的 只有大牢和大屌了 |
| [17:13] | I told Zoey we were gonna be a family. | 我可是信誓旦旦告诉佐伊要组建家庭的 |
| [17:15] | What am I gonna do? | 现在让我怎么办 |
| [17:16] | – The kid’s seven? – Yeah. | -小姑娘七岁吗 -是啊 |
| [17:19] | Wait nine years. | 再等上个九年 |
| [17:21] | What happens in nine years? | 九年后会怎么样呢 |
| [17:22] | If you’re lucky, | 够幸运的话 |
| [17:23] | she runs away with a coke-addled bass player. | 她会和一个吸毒的贝斯手跑了 |
| [17:27] | And if I’m not lucky? | 要是不够走运会怎么样 |
| [17:28] | A drummer. | 摊上鼓手 |
| [17:39] | Oh, you’re up. | 你起来啦 |
| [17:41] | How are you feeling? | 感觉如何 |
| [17:43] | A little better. | 好一点了 |
| [17:44] | I’m glad. | 那就好 |
| [17:45] | Not looking forward to ripping the Band-Aid | 还是不敢想从蛋蛋上把创口贴 |
| [17:47] | off my scrotum, but… | 撕下来的那一刻 不过 |
| [17:50] | we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. | 走一步算一步吧 |
| [17:52] | I’m so, so sorry. | 我真的是 太抱歉了 |
| [17:55] | Yeah, just… | 等等… |
| [17:56] | FYI, if you’d like to try again, | 仅供参考 你要实在想再试一下 |
| [17:58] | I’m wearing sweatpants. | 我已经换上运动裤了 |
| [18:02] | No zipper. | 没有拉链 |
| [18:03] | I cannot believe you’re still horny. | 真不敢相信 你还饥渴着呢 |
| [18:06] | Me neither, but there it is. | 我也不敢相信 但小弟不撒谎 |
| [18:11] | Well, I do owe you one. | 也是 这是我欠你的 |
| [18:14] | Oh, boy. | 哦 天哪 |
| [18:15] | Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. | 天哪 天哪 天哪 |
| [18:21] | Do you smell that? | 这是什么味道 |
| [18:21] | Oh, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [18:22] | That’s just the Neosporin. | 是抗生素软膏的怪味儿 |
| [18:25] | No. | 不是 |
| [18:26] | It-it smells like something dead. | 就… 就像什么东西死了一样 |
| [18:28] | It’s not Mr. Hose. | 那不可能是水管兄 |
| [18:32] | He’s very much alive. | 他可还生龙活虎着呢 |
| [18:35] | Go ahead. Check. | 要不信 自己看 |
| [18:37] | I think it’s coming from under the house. | 我觉得是房子下面散上来的 |
| [18:40] | I’m sorry, I-I really can’t smell anything | 不好意思 我实在什么都闻不到 |
| [18:42] | ’cause of my broken nose… | 因为我这受伤的鼻子 |
| [18:44] | ’cause of what you owe me. | 更因为你所亏欠我的 |
| [18:46] | It-it’s probably just a raccoon or a possum. | 可…可能只是一个浣熊或者负鼠吧 |
| [18:49] | Hang on one sec. | 稍等片刻 |
| [18:50] | Let me call the exterminator. | 我喊个灭害虫的人来 |
| [18:51] | Oh, no, no, no, that’s going to take too long. | 不用不用 那样有的等了 |
| [18:54] | I’ll ju… I’ll just get a shovel and a garbage bag | 待我… 待我拿个铁铲加个垃圾袋 |
| [18:57] | and deal with it. | 去去就来 |
| [18:59] | You’re that horny? | 你当真饥渴成那样 |
| [19:01] | I know, it’s starting to worry me, too. | 不用你说 我自己也觉得不大正常了 |
| [19:08] | You okay down there? | 下面还好吧 |
| [19:09] | Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it. | 没事没事 我应该是看到了 |
| [19:15] | Looks like a-a dead possum. | 看起来是死负鼠 |
| [19:17] | Be careful. | 小心点 |
| [19:19] | Oh, don’t worry about it. | 不用担心没事 |
| [19:20] | I-I’m just going to shovel him into my… | 我只要将他的尸体扫进… |
| [19:22] | Not dead! Not dead! | 还没死 还没死 |
| [19:26] | I’m sorry! I’m sorry! | 大哥饶命 大哥饶命 |
| [19:29] | I didn’t mean… | 我不是故意… |
| [19:31] | Come on! | 没必要吧 |
| [19:32] | Oh, that’s going to get infected. | 这下肯定要被感染了 |
| [19:44] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:53] | Oh, hey. Thanks for meeting me, man. | 谢谢你能来见我 |
| [19:58] | What happened to you? | 你这是怎么了 |
| [20:00] | Well, let’s see, uh… | 让我们来回顾一下 |
| [20:02] | Electrocuted, got my nose bashed in, | 先是触电 然后被正中面门 |
| [20:05] | and possibly rabies. | 可能还得了狂犬病 |
| [20:17] | How are you? | 你怎么样呢 |
| [20:19] | I am really tired. | 我真的快累死了 |
| [20:21] | My heart bleeds for you. | 我心为你淌血 |
| [20:24] | Also my left ball sack. | 左蛋蛋也淌着血 |
| [20:28] | What’s that smell? | 这是什么味儿 |
| [20:30] | Oh, Neosporin, which just a hint of possum. | 抗生素软膏 混杂着一丝负鼠的气味 |
| [20:36] | So, uh, how are things going living with Zoey and her daughter? | 你们三人住在一起感觉如何 |
| [20:40] | It’s good, it’s good. | 挺好的 挺好的 |
| [20:43] | – How’s living with Lyndsey? – Oh, it’s terrific. | -你和琳赛过得呢 -好极了 |
| [20:49] | That’s great. | 那就好 |
| [20:55] | If I could get rid of them… | 如果我能摆脱她俩… |
| [20:56] | Yes! A hundred times yes! | 我愿意 大大地愿意 |