| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Previously, on Two And A Half Men | 《好汉两个半》前情回顾 |
| [00:02] | It’s spring break this week, | 这周是春假 |
| [00:03] | so Zoey and her daughter are going to stay here. | 佐伊和她女儿要来这边住 |
| [00:06] | I’m going to need you to move out for the week. | 我想让你这个星期先搬出去住 |
| [00:09] | Where you staying? | 你准备住哪 |
| [00:10] | I’m just going to have to stay with Lindsey. | 我还是去琳赛家吧 |
| [00:11] | There’s someone in the house. Go look. | 有人进来屋子里了 你去看看 |
| [00:16] | What?! | 怎么了 |
| [00:17] | – Ball snag! – I’m sorry! | -拉链夹蛋了 -抱歉 |
| [00:19] | No, no, don’t touch it! | 别 别 别碰它 |
| [00:22] | I’m bored. | 我好无聊啊 |
| [00:30] | I can’t do this, Berta. | 我真的做不来 波塔 |
| [00:32] | It’s just too much. | 真的是太累人了 |
| [00:33] | She just never stops. | 她一刻也不消停 |
| [00:35] | So, how are things going living with Zoey and her daughter? | 你们三人住在一起感觉如何 |
| [00:38] | It’s good. It’s good. | 挺好的 挺好的 |
| [00:40] | How’s living with Lyndsey? | 你和琳赛过得呢 |
| [00:42] | – Oh, it’s terrific. – That’s great. | -好极了 -那就好 |
| [00:45] | So, if I could get rid of them… | 如果我能摆脱她俩… |
| [00:46] | Yes, 100 times yes. | 我愿意 大大地愿意 |
| [00:52] | Okay. | 好 |
| [00:56] | Zoey… | 佐伊 |
| [00:57] | you know I love you, and… | 你知道我是爱你的 而且 |
| [00:59] | I want to live with you forever. | 我愿意这辈子都和你住在一起 |
| [01:02] | But we got to lose the kid. | 可这孩子必须得甩掉 |
| [01:07] | Yeah, probably not. Okay. | 估计行不通 好 |
| [01:09] | Hey, have you ever thought of Swiss boarding schools? | 你有考虑过瑞士寄宿学校不 |
| [01:14] | – Hi! – Sh… | -我回来啦 -嘘 |
| [01:16] | She’s out like a light. | 她睡着了 |
| [01:17] | Really? How? Did you drug her? | 真的 怎么办到的 你给她下药啦 |
| [01:22] | I didn’t think we were allowed to drug her. | 我想法律不允许我们下药的吧 |
| [01:24] | She’s worn out from playing with you all day. | 她跟你玩了一整天 累坏了 |
| [01:27] | She’s not the only one. | 累坏的可不止她一人 |
| [01:31] | Listen… | 我说 |
| [01:32] | I’ve been thinking about this | 我一直在想着 |
| [01:34] | whole “moving in together” thing. | 咱们同居的这件事 |
| [01:37] | It’s all right. I admit, I had my doubts. | 没关系 我承认我之前有过疑虑 |
| [01:40] | But you have been so wonderful with her. | 可你和她相处得如此融洽 |
| [01:44] | Thank you. | 谢了啊 |
| [01:46] | This little girl loves you so much. | 这个小姑娘真心喜欢你 |
| [01:48] | Really… | 真的吗 |
| [01:49] | You’re all she talks about. | 她张口闭口谈的都是你 |
| [01:51] | The sun rises and sets with you. | 她的世界都是围着你转的 |
| [01:58] | Look at what she made for you. | 看看这是她为你画的 |
| [02:06] | So, you win. We’re all yours. | 所以 你赢了 我们都跟你过了 |
| [02:09] | I mean, | 我是说 |
| [02:10] | there’s a million details to figure out | 在我们永远定居下来之前 |
| [02:11] | before we can move in permanently. | 尚有无以计数的细节问题需要讨论 |
| [02:13] | First and foremost, where she’s going to go to school. | 第一条也是最重要的一条 她该上哪所学校 |
| [02:15] | Have you ever considered Switzerland? | 你有考虑过瑞士吗 |
| [02:18] | You’re kidding, right? | 你开玩笑的吧 |
| [02:20] | I’m ki.. of course! | 开 当然是开玩笑 |
| [02:22] | Why would I want her so far away? | 我哪里舍得让她离我如此遥远 |
| [02:26] | Let me put her up to bed. Then we can start making plans. | 等我把她抱上床 我们就能慢慢商议了 |
| [02:28] | Great. | 好 |
| [02:30] | Mommy? | 妈咪 |
| [02:31] | Where’s Walden? | 沃顿在哪里 |
| [02:32] | Oh, I’m right here. | 人在这儿呢 |
| [02:34] | I love you, Walden. | 我爱你 沃顿 |
| [02:37] | I love you… | 我也爱你 |
| [02:46] | Just like I planned it. | 真是”天随人愿”啊 |
| [02:53] | Hey, roomie! | 室友你好啊 |
| [02:55] | You got here quick. | 你来得还真快 |
| [02:56] | Yeah, Lyndsey asked me to fix the garbage disposal | 林赛让我帮她修垃圾处理器 |
| [02:59] | and I didn’t like the odds. | 而我人品向来不好 于是赶紧逃了 |
| [03:01] | So, uh, did you talk to Zoey yet? | 你和佐伊谈过了吗 |
| [03:03] | Yes, I did. | 谈过了 |
| [03:04] | How’d she take it? | 她对此反应如何 |
| [03:05] | Well, I… yeah, let’s… | 那个嘛 这个嘛 我们 |
| [03:07] | Did she cry? | 她哭没 |
| [03:09] | – No… – Yelling? | -没 -她喊没 |
| [03:11] | No. There was no yelling. | 没 没人大喊大叫 |
| [03:13] | Yeah, I know that I said that I wanted to get rid of her | 我是说了我想摆脱她 |
| [03:16] | and have you come back… | 让你回到这里来 |
| [03:17] | Oh, no! | 不会吧 |
| [03:19] | You know, I, I love her. | 你知道 我很爱她 |
| [03:21] | Oh, no! | 不是吧 |
| [03:22] | And I, I love the kid. | 我也爱她的孩子 |
| [03:24] | No! | 你少来 |
| [03:25] | I’m just going to have to make it work. | 我会努力克服这问题的 |
| [03:27] | No, no, no, no, no, no! | 不可以 决不许 我不干 |
| [03:29] | Alan, I’m sorry. | 艾伦 我很抱歉 |
| [03:33] | Okay, okay, I’ll… I’ll figure something out. | 好吧 好吧 我自己想办法解决 |
| [03:36] | If nothing else, I am a survivor. | 最起码我能活下去 |
| [03:46] | Okay, very funny. Survivor, I get it. | 好吧 很有趣 活下去 我懂了 |
| [03:51] | Oh, come on! I feel bad enough already. | 拜托 我已经很有罪恶感了 |
| [03:55] | Help me… | 救命啊 |
| [03:56] | 911! | 快打急救电话 |
| [03:57] | Oh, okay. I’ll play along. Here, | 好吧 就陪你玩下去 来 |
| [03:59] | would 100 dollars make you better? | 给你100元 感觉好点没 |
| [04:04] | You’re not kidding? | 你不是闹着玩啊 |
| [04:05] | Not kidding… | 不是闹着玩 |
| [04:06] | Don’t die. | 你可别死啊 |
| [04:34] | I want him to have the best possible care. | 我要让他接受最好的治疗 |
| [04:36] | So, whatever it takes, I’ll pay for it. | 不管要花多少钱都行 我付 |
| [04:39] | You’re going to have to. | 你想不付都不行 |
| [04:40] | The man’s got the worst insurance policy I’ve ever seen. | 这人的医疗保险是我见过最烂的 |
| [04:43] | – What do you mean? – He’s got a $500,000 deductable. | -什么意思 -低于50万的费用都该他自付 |
| [04:47] | A $500,000 ductable? | 低于50万都自付吗 |
| [04:49] | Even at our prices, he ain’t gonna | 哪怕是按我们的收费 他发一次 |
| [04:51] | hit that with one heart attack. | 心脏病也都达不到这个花费 |
| [04:53] | All right, ,ell, I’ll just… I’ll take care of it. | 好吧 我来处理这件事 |
| [04:55] | Just check the box “Domestic Partner.” | 在同居伴侣一栏打钩 |
| [04:59] | Oh, no, we’re just buddies. | 不 我们只是哥们而已 |
| [05:01] | We got no buddy forms. | 我们可没有哥们的表格 |
| [05:04] | – Yeah, but… – Just check the damn box. | -可是 -少废话 叫你打钩你就打 |
| [05:12] | Come out, come out, wherever you are. | 菊花残 满地伤 再不出柜就泛黄啰 |
| [05:16] | I guess there’s nothing to do now but wait. | 眼下除了等待 什么也做不了了 |
| [05:19] | Forgive me for being callous, | 原谅我如此冷酷无情 |
| [05:21] | but don’t you think this heart attack is a bit convenient? | 可你不觉得这心脏病发得也太及时了吧 |
| [05:24] | – What? – Come on. | -什么 -拜托 |
| [05:26] | He tries to weasel his way back into the house. | 他想找机会溜回来 |
| [05:28] | You tell him no | 你拒绝了他 |
| [05:29] | and he falls to the ground, clutching his chest. | 于是他倒在地上 紧捂胸口 |
| [05:32] | You think he faked a heart attack? | 你是说他的心脏病是假装的吗 |
| [05:34] | I think he’d fake a shark attack. | 他连被鲨鱼袭击都能装得出来 |
| [05:37] | How do you fake a shark attack? | 鲨鱼袭击要如何假装 |
| [05:39] | I don’t know. Ask Alan. | 我怎么会知道 问艾伦去 |
| [05:42] | Harper? | 哈勃 |
| [05:44] | Yeah, right here. | 在这里 |
| [05:46] | Okay, well, your boyfriend’s going to be fine. | 好 你的男朋友不会有事的 |
| [05:49] | That’s great. | 太好了 |
| [05:49] | Uh, he’s not my… | 他不是我的 |
| [05:51] | It’s great. | 算了 |
| [05:53] | It was the form. It was just easier. | 是表格的缘故 这么填写比较方便 |
| [05:56] | Um, did he actually have a heart attack? | 他真的犯心脏病了吗 |
| [05:59] | – It was a mild one, but yes. – Told you. | -虽然是轻度 但是是真的 -我就说嘛 |
| [06:02] | He should be fine. He’s just going to need rest | 他没事的 他需要多休息 |
| [06:04] | and as little stress as possible. | 少受点压力比较好 |
| [06:06] | For how long? | 多久呢 |
| [06:07] | I don’t know, at least a month or two. | 不知道 一到两个月吧 |
| [06:10] | Great… | 这下好了吧 |
| [06:11] | That’s why we gave up women. Am I right? | 所以我们才不入花丛入菊丛 对吧 |
| [06:15] | It’s a compelling argument. | 还真挺有说服力的 |
| [06:26] | Hi, Walden. | 沃顿 |
| [06:28] | How ya feelin’? | 你感觉如何啊 |
| [06:30] | Fantastic. | 感觉棒极了 |
| [06:32] | I’m on a morphine drip. | 我打着吗啡点滴 |
| [06:37] | Everyone should have a morphine drip. | 每个人都应该来打个吗啡点滴 |
| [06:41] | There would be no more war. | 世界将会永保和平 |
| [06:44] | Listen, the doctor said | 那个 医生说 |
| [06:46] | that you… had a little heart attack, | 你犯了点 心脏病 |
| [06:49] | but you’re going to be fine. | 不过没什么大碍 |
| [06:52] | Oh, yeah. | 对 |
| [06:53] | Yeah, I remember now. | 没错 我想起来了 |
| [06:56] | Zoey’s moving in and… | 佐伊搬进咱家 然后 |
| [06:58] | I’m… I’m moving out. | 我就被踢了出来 |
| [07:03] | No, you’re not moving out. | 你没有被踢出去 |
| [07:05] | I’m-I’m not? | 我没有吗 |
| [07:07] | No, you can stay as long as you want. As long as you need. | 你想呆多久就呆多久 随你高兴 |
| [07:10] | Oh. | 这样啊 |
| [07:14] | Oh, that’s… that’s so good to hear. | 真高兴听到你这么说 |
| [07:18] | Thataboy. | 好家伙 |
| [07:20] | I just… I just want you to not worry about anything. | 你现在什么都不要担心 |
| [07:23] | – I won’t. – Okay. | -我不会的 -好吧 |
| [07:26] | You just relax and feel better, okay? | 你好好放松 安心养病 好吗 |
| [07:29] | Okeydokey. | 好的咧 |
| [07:33] | Hey, Walden. Guess what? | 沃顿 你知道吗 |
| [07:35] | What? | 知道什么 |
| [07:36] | I’m peeing right now. | 我一边说话一边尿着呢 |
| [07:40] | No kidding. | 真的吗 |
| [07:42] | But it’s okay. | 完全不用担心 |
| [07:44] | There’s a tube attached to my wiener. | 因为我的小鸡鸡上接着一根尿管 |
| [07:52] | I don’t think there is. | 没见着尿管啊 |
| [08:03] | – My God. He’s going to be okay? – Yeah. | -天啊 他会没事的吧 -会没事的 |
| [08:05] | He just needs to take it easy. | 他放轻松好好休养就行 |
| [08:07] | I don’t know what I would do | 我要是失去他 |
| [08:08] | if anything happened to him. | 我真不知道该怎么办了 |
| [08:12] | I’ve already lost my good son! | 我好的那个儿子都已经死了 |
| [08:18] | Do you happen to know if they validate parking? | 你知道他们这里探病可以抵停车费吗 |
| [08:24] | So, are those tubes putting stuff in | 这些管子 是输液 |
| [08:26] | or taking stuff out? | 还是吸液啊 |
| [08:27] | I think a little bit of both. | 两者都有吧 |
| [08:29] | Oh, I get it. | 我懂了 |
| [08:30] | It’s like eating on the toilet. | 就跟吃屎一样 自给自足 |
| [08:33] | So, what did the doctor say? | 医生怎么说啊 |
| [08:35] | Uh, he just said he needs to take it easy. | 说他得放轻松 |
| [08:37] | You know, no stress. | 别给他太大的压力 |
| [08:38] | Then I guess we shouldn’t tell him | 那我们还是先别告诉他 |
| [08:40] | about what happened at school. | 我在学校的事情吧 |
| [08:41] | No, we definitely should not. | 不能说 打死都不能说 |
| [08:44] | Honest to God, someone put that pot in my locker. | 我对天发誓 那大麻是别人塞我置物柜的 |
| [08:49] | Why would they do that? | 别人干嘛白送你啊 |
| [08:50] | That, my friend, is the million-dollar question. | 亲爱的朋友 这就是价值百万的未知之谜啊 |
| [08:57] | Look, Lyndsey, | 琳赛 |
| [08:58] | I know you’re his girlfriend, | 我知道你是他的女朋友 |
| [08:59] | and I know you’d like to take care of him, but… | 我也明白你会想照顾他 |
| [09:02] | I kind of feel responsible for this. | 但是我觉得这次的事情得怪我 |
| [09:04] | And I’d like him to stay with me until he recovers. | 我希望能把他留在我家直到康复为止 |
| [09:07] | Fine. Let’s go get some coffee. | 那行 咱们去喝杯咖啡吧 |
| [09:17] | Wake up, Alan. | 起床啦 艾伦 |
| [09:21] | Is it spongebath time again? | 又到了擦澡的时间了吗 |
| [09:24] | You wish. | 你想得美 |
| [09:32] | What’s going on? | 这是干嘛 |
| [09:34] | Who are you? | 你是谁啊 |
| [09:35] | Ah, Alan, that hurts. | 艾伦 太伤我心了吧 |
| [09:38] | Don’t you recognize your own brother? | 连自己的亲兄弟都认不出来啊 |
| [09:53] | What is this, some kind of sick joke? | 你说什么 是在恶整我吗 |
| [09:56] | Charlie’s dead. | 查理早去世了 |
| [09:57] | You’re dubious. Understandable. | 你心存疑虑 我明白 |
| [10:00] | When you were 14 years old, | 你14岁的时候 |
| [10:02] | you went to your first boy girl party, | 要第一次去男女聚会 |
| [10:04] | and you were really nervous | 你当时很紧张 |
| [10:05] | because they were going to play spin the bottle. | 因为他们说要玩转轮盘 大冒险 |
| [10:06] | Yeah? | 然后呢 |
| [10:07] | So, before you left the house, | 我在你离家前 |
| [10:08] | I convinced you that the grownup way to French-kiss | 我骗你说大人的法式热吻 |
| [10:11] | was to spit in the other person’s mouth. | 就得把口水吐到对方的嘴里 |
| [10:15] | You hocked a big loogie down Marcy Bilson’s throat | 你吐了一口浓痰进人家马希·比尔森的喉咙 |
| [10:18] | and she’d kicked you in the nuts. | 然后她狠狠地踢了你的蛋蛋 |
| [10:20] | Ah, come on, everybody in high school knew that story. | 这有什么 全高中的人都知道这事情 |
| [10:23] | Answer me this: | 回答我这个问题: |
| [10:25] | What are your five favorite words to hear from a woman? | 查理最喜欢从女人嘴里听到哪五个字 |
| [10:28] | “I can’t spend the night.” | “我做完得走” |
| [10:32] | Charlie… | 查理 |
| [10:34] | At your service. | 如假包换 |
| [10:37] | I don’t… I don’t understand. | 这 这怎么可能啊 |
| [10:38] | Are you reincarnated or something? | 你是重生了还是怎么了 |
| [10:41] | Nah, I’m in hell. | 没有 我还在地狱里呢 |
| [10:45] | Walking around in his old broad’s body | 强制附身在一个老女人的身体里 |
| [10:48] | is supposed to be some kind of eternal damnation. | 也是地狱的一种永恒放逐方式 |
| [10:52] | You know what? | 你猜怎么着 |
| [10:53] | The joke’s on them. | 他们大错特错了 |
| [10:55] | Boobs are still boobs. | 有奶子就是有奶子 |
| [11:00] | So, why are you here? | 那你怎么游荡到这里来了 |
| [11:01] | I thought you could use a little help. | 我想你可能需要有人指点迷津嘛 |
| [11:03] | I have been through a rough patch. | 最近的确是诸事不顺没错 |
| [11:05] | You look like you’ve been through a propeller. | 你看起来是像被螺旋桨碎尸万段过吧 |
| [11:08] | I came here to tell you it’s not too late | 我是来提点你 扭转人生 |
| [11:10] | to turn your life around. | 为时不晚 |
| [11:11] | How? | 怎么扭转 |
| [11:12] | Stop being a parasite. | 别再当寄生虫了 |
| [11:14] | Step up. Be a man. Grow a pair. | 挺起胸膛 长点志气 做个有卵蛋的男人 |
| [11:17] | Uh, parenthetically, this body actually has a pair. | 顺便告诉你 这幅身躯也有一对卵蛋呢 |
| [11:22] | They dangle right under my hooha. | 在我的洞洞下晃着 |
| [11:29] | Did not need to know that. | 其实你可以不用说 |
| [11:31] | Point being, you lived off me for eight years | 重点是 你寄生了我八年 |
| [11:33] | and now you’re living off this new guy. | 现在又换个宿主寄生 |
| [11:35] | Now, now, hang on. W-Walden’s my friend. | 等等 沃顿是我的朋友 |
| [11:37] | He invited me to stay with him. | 是他邀请我同住 |
| [11:39] | Oh, kiss my surprisingly tight ass. | 亲老娘其实很紧的小屁屁吧 |
| [11:42] | You’re nobody’s friend. | 放屁 谁跟你是朋友啊 |
| [11:44] | You’re a useless appendix, like tonsils, | 你就像盲肠 扁桃体 |
| [11:47] | or the nutsack under my hooha. | 或我洞洞下的蛋蛋 全都没毛用 |
| [11:51] | I see hell hasn’t mellowed you out any. | 看来地狱也挫不掉你的锐气啊 |
| [11:54] | Listen to me, you got to get out | 听我的劝 回新宿主的家里 |
| [11:55] | of that guy’s house and make a life for yourself. | 跟人家说清 然后出来自立门户吧 |
| [11:58] | I suppose I could go live with Lyndsey. | 我是也可以去跟琳赛住啦 |
| [12:00] | You’re missing my point. | 你没听懂我说的 |
| [12:01] | I’m not suggesting that the tapeworm | 我不是让你这个寄生虫 |
| [12:04] | find a new colon to crawl into. | 换个新大肠寄生 |
| [12:07] | Hold out your hand. | 伸出你的手 |
| [12:11] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [12:14] | This is your last chance, Alan. | 这是你人生最后一次机会啊 艾伦 |
| [12:15] | Move out of that house. Get your own place. | 搬出旧家 自立门户 |
| [12:18] | Start pulling your own weight in the world. | 别再给这个世界制造负担了 |
| [12:19] | Okay. I will. | 好的 我听你的 |
| [12:21] | You’ll see. I can change. | 看着吧 我会变的 |
| [12:23] | Good. | 很好 |
| [12:24] | Then my work here is done. | 那我的劝告就告一段落了 |
| [12:26] | Well, thanks, Charlie. | 谢了 查理 |
| [12:28] | You got it. | 别客气 |
| [12:32] | Before I go… | 我走之前呢 |
| [12:35] | you gotta check this out. | 给你看这个吧 |
| [12:40] | Was I lying? | 没骗你吧 |
| [12:41] | Tell me that’s not disturbing. | 你敢说这不够变态恶心吗 |
| [12:53] | What do you want me to do, Zoey? | 我能怎么办啊 佐伊 |
| [12:55] | The last time I asked him to leave, he almost died. | 我上次叫他收拾包袱 他就差点挂了 |
| [12:57] | What does that mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [12:58] | He lives with you until he actually does die? | 你是打算让他寄生到他死掉那天吗 |
| [13:01] | No, just until he gets back on his feet. | 就到他能重新站起来的那天嘛 |
| [13:04] | The man has no feet. | 他又没腿 站个屁啊 |
| [13:05] | He is a footless man. | 他就是个无腿的残疾人 |
| [13:08] | Okay, come on. | 拜托哦 |
| [13:09] | What about his mother? Why doesn’t he live with her? | 他不是还有个妈吗 干吗不去寄生他妈啊 |
| [13:12] | They don’t really get along. | 他们关系不好 |
| [13:13] | What about his girlfriend? | 那他女朋友呢 |
| [13:15] | They don’t really get along. | 他们关系也不好 |
| [13:17] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [13:18] | So we’re stuck with him forever. | 所以我们就得被他寄生一辈子了吗 |
| [13:20] | The man is the herpes of houseguests. | 这男的简直就是家里客人界的疱疹嘛 |
| [13:25] | Come on. That is not fair. | 你这么说是不对的 |
| [13:27] | You’re right. | 你说的 |
| [13:28] | Herpes sometimes disappears for a while. | 好歹疱疹还销声匿迹过 |
| [13:32] | Surprise! | 惊喜 |
| [13:33] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [13:35] | Herpes. | 疱疹 |
| [13:37] | What? They let you out? | 怎么了 他们怎么让你出院了 |
| [13:38] | Oh, no, no. I checked myself out. | 没 是我自己退病房的 |
| [13:40] | I didn’t want you to have to pay one more penny for me. | 我不想要你在我身上多花一分钱了 |
| [13:42] | Oh, come on. | 别这么说嘛 |
| [13:42] | The money is not important. | 钱是小事 |
| [13:44] | What’s important is your health. | 你的健康才是大事 |
| [13:45] | No, what’s important is that I stop being a parasite | 不 我一直当寄生虫才是大事 |
| [13:47] | and stand on my own two feet. | 我得靠自己站起来 |
| [13:48] | You have no feet. | 你又没脚 站个屁啊 |
| [13:51] | What was that? | 什么声音 |
| [13:53] | It’s Zoey. | 是佐伊 |
| [13:54] | I’ll be right there, honey. | 我马上来 宝贝 |
| [13:56] | I’m just going to grab my stuff, and I’ll get out of your hair. | 我去收拾收拾我的包袱 收拾完我就走 |
| [13:59] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [14:00] | I am positive, Walden. I-I have had an epiphany. | 确定一定肯定 沃顿 我被高人点醒了 |
| [14:03] | I need to make a big change in my life. | 我要让我的生活彻底改观 |
| [14:06] | Where will you go? | 你要去哪儿呢 |
| [14:07] | Oh, I found a cute little place online. | 我在网上找到一个小房子 |
| [14:09] | Uh, you know, it’s not much, | 也许不算大 |
| [14:10] | but, uh, at least I’ll have my pride. | 不过至少还能捍卫我的自尊 |
| [14:13] | I don’t know, Alan. | 我不知道啊 艾伦 |
| [14:14] | Let the man have his pride! | 让那男人有点自尊好不好 |
| [14:18] | Uh, here’s my address for mailing stuff. | 如果需要寄东西的话 这是我地址 |
| [14:23] | If this is what you want… | 如果你真想这样的话 |
| [14:24] | It’s what I want. | 我就希望这样 |
| [14:25] | It’s what everybody wants! | 所有人都希望这样 |
| [14:29] | Don’t listen to her. | 别听她的 |
| [14:30] | Oh, no, no. She’s right. | 不不 她说得对 |
| [14:33] | She’s an angry, cold-hearted tea bag! | 她是包愤怒狠心肠的茶袋 |
| [14:36] | But she’s right. | 不过她说得对 |
| [14:38] | What did he say? | 他说什么 |
| [14:41] | He said that you were right. | 他说你说得对 |
| [14:48] | No, Jake. | 不 杰克 |
| [14:49] | If I’m not living at the beach house, | 既然我不住在那海滩别墅里 |
| [14:50] | you’re not living at the beach house. | 你也不能住海滩别墅 |
| [14:52] | Yeah, well, sometimes life just isn’t fair. | 有时生活就是充满了不公平 |
| [14:56] | Well, sure you can visit me where I’m living now. | 你当然可以来我现在住的地方 |
| [14:58] | But, uh, you’re not going to have your own room | 不过 你没有自己的房间 |
| [15:00] | or your own bed or your own bathroom | 自己的床或者自己的卫生间 |
| [15:02] | and… you might need to have a tetanus shot. | 还有 你也许得先打破伤风预防针 |
| [15:07] | But I’d love to have you. | 但我很希望你能来 |
| [15:10] | Okay, you let me know. | 行 来的话说一声 |
| [15:12] | Okay, good night. | 好 晚安 |
| [15:19] | All right. | 行啊 |
| [15:21] | It’s not much, but… | 不算大 但 |
| [15:23] | it’s mine. | 是我自个的了 |
| [15:26] | I am self-sufficient. | 我自力更生 |
| [15:31] | And beholden to no one. | 无牵无挂 |
| [15:42] | Oh, that’s not a good sign. | 哦 这可不是好兆头 |
| [15:50] | It’s odd… | 很奇怪 |
| [15:51] | But now that Alan’s finally gone, | 艾伦总算走了 |
| [15:53] | I actually kind of miss him. | 我却有点想他 |
| [15:54] | Yeah, me too. | 是啊 我也是 |
| [15:56] | Walden, I’m kidding. | 沃顿 我开玩笑呢 |
| [15:59] | Oh, yeah, me too. | 是嘛 我也是 |
| [16:04] | So… | 那么 |
| [16:06] | Now that we have the house to ourselves, | 总算能过二人世界了 |
| [16:08] | what would you like to do? | 你想干些什么呢 |
| [16:09] | What I would like to do | 我最想”干”的 |
| [16:11] | is you. | 是你 |
| [16:14] | And where I would like to do it, | 至于在哪里”干” |
| [16:16] | is on every flat surface | 是这个房子里的每个房间里 |
| [16:18] | in every room of this house. | 的每块地板上 |
| [16:22] | Woo. Hey. | 喔 嘿 |
| [16:24] | Oh. Jake. | 哦 杰克 |
| [16:26] | This is my friend, Gabby. | 这是我朋友 嘉比 |
| [16:27] | Hi! | 嗨 |
| [16:30] | We’re going to go hang out in my room. | 我们回我房里待着去 |
| [16:32] | Uh, Jake, uh, | 杰克 这个嘛 |
| [16:34] | hold on. | 慢着 |
| [16:35] | Have you spoken to your father lately? | 你最近没跟你爸爸说过话吗 |
| [16:38] | No, I don’t believe I have. | 没 应该是没吧 |
| [16:43] | Look at the bright side. | 看看好的一面 |
| [16:44] | What bright side? | 什么好的一面 |
| [16:46] | He might share some of his pot with us. | 他也许会跟我们分享他的大麻 |
| [16:56] | Wake up, buttercup. | 醒醒 睡美人 |
| [17:00] | Oh. Hey, Charlie. | 嘿 查理 |
| [17:05] | So, what do you think? | 你觉得怎样 |
| [17:08] | I finally got my own place. | 我终于有自己的家了 |
| [17:10] | Fantastic. | 太棒了 |
| [17:12] | You’re not sponging off that rat, are you? | 你没有再寄生人家老鼠了吧 |
| [17:16] | There’s a rat? | 有老鼠? |
| [17:17] | Nah, I’m just kiddin’. | 没 逗你玩呢 |
| [17:18] | He’s dead. | 已经死了 |
| [17:21] | But aren’t you proud of me? I mean, I did what you said. | 可难道你不以我为豪吗 我照你说的做了 |
| [17:24] | I’m standing on my own two feet. | 我现在自力更生了 |
| [17:26] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [17:29] | Sucker. | 傻逼 |
| [17:33] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:33] | I had to come back from hell to do it, | 我特地从地狱赶回来 |
| [17:35] | but I finally gotcha out of my freakin’ house! | 就为把你从我别墅里赶出来 |
| [17:40] | But I-I-I thought you wanted me to be a better person. | 可是 我以为你希望我能成为真汉子 |
| [17:43] | Nope. | 没 |
| [17:45] | What? So you were just screwing with me? | 什么 那你就单纯为了耍我 |
| [17:47] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [17:50] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [17:51] | I’m in hell, Alan. That’s kind of what we do. | 我在地狱里 艾伦 咱就是干这个的 |
| [17:55] | Whoa! | 哇 |
| [17:57] | What a horrible dream. | 好恐怖的梦啊 |
| [17:59] | What’s so horrible about it? | 有啥好恐怖的 |
| [18:07] | Still here. | 还在哦 |
| [18:12] | I can do this all night. | 我能玩你一整晚呢 |
| [18:24] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:27] | How do we sell this? Uh… | 怎么说才好呢 |
| [18:35] | 911… | 快打911 |
| [18:39] | Come on. You can do better than that. Uh… | 拜托 这也太次了点 |
| [18:48] | Help me. | 救救我 |
| [18:49] | Call 911. | 快打911 |
| [18:52] | Am I dying or taking a dump? | 我是快死了还是在拉屎啊 |
| [19:00] | Call 911… Call 911… | 快打911 快打911 |
| [19:04] | Yeah, that’s it. Okay. | 就这了 好 |
| [19:06] | Showtime. | 表演时间 |
| [19:13] | Alan… | 艾伦 |
| [19:13] | Don’t, don’t worry. I’m not moving back in. | 别担心 我不是要搬回来 |
| [19:15] | I just forgot a few things. | 只是落了点东西在这儿 |
| [19:17] | Yeah, like your son? | 比如你儿子 |
| [19:19] | Wait. Jake’s here? | 慢着 杰克在这儿? |
| [19:20] | Yeah, and his girlfriend. | 是啊 还有他小女朋友 |
| [19:22] | Ah, you know, damn that kid. | 啊 这死小孩 |
| [19:24] | I told him I was moving out and he was not to come back here. | 我跟他说了我搬出去了 他不能再来这儿 |
| [19:27] | But does he listen to me? No. | 可他听我话吗 不 |
| [19:29] | You know, no one ever listens to me and I… | 没人听过我的话 可我 |
| [19:36] | Call 911. | 快打911 |
| [19:37] | Call 911. Oh, no, not again. | -快打911 -别又来一次 |
| [19:38] | Hold on. I’ll get help. | 坚持住 我去打电话 |
| [19:42] | Son of a bitch. | 这狗娘养的 |
| [19:45] | What’s the matter? Couldn’t find a shark? | 怎么回事啊 找不到鲨鱼吗 |
| [19:58] | So, what do you think, Doc? | 医生 他现在怎么样 |
| [20:00] | We won’t know until we get all the tests back, | 测试结果出来之前我们也不清楚 |
| [20:02] | but right now, his heart appears to be perfectly fine. | 不过现在而言 他的心脏好得很 |
| [20:04] | Thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [20:06] | – So how long before I can take him home? – Walden? | -我什么时候能接他回家 -沃顿 |
| [20:08] | I am sorry, Zoey, but I am not going to have | 我很抱歉 佐伊 可我不能让他 |
| [20:10] | this man’s death on my conscience. | 死在我的手上 |
| [20:19] | I’d like to thank the Academy. | 我想感谢奥斯卡学院 |
| [20:24] | There are no small parts… | 没有不重要的角色 |
| [20:26] | only small apartments. | 只有不够大的公寓 |
| [20:37] | I don’t think you’re allowed to smoke in here. | 这里好像不能吸烟吧 |
| [20:40] | Does that include the joint you just blew in the bathroom? | 你刚不也在厕所里抽大麻吗 |
| [20:43] | How’d you know about that? | 这你怎么知道的 |
| [20:45] | Call it women’s intuition, taterhead. | 这叫做女人的直觉 土豆脑袋 |
| [20:48] | Whoa, the only person that ever called me “Taterhead” | 只有一个人管我叫土豆脑袋 |
| [20:50] | was my uncle Charlie. | 我的伯伯查理 |
| [20:51] | So, what does that tell ya? | 所以… |
| [20:55] | I have no idea. | 我不知道 |
| [20:58] | Screw it. I’m going back to hell. | 去他的 我回地狱去了 |
| [21:03] | Ready, ladies? | 准备好了没 姑娘们 |
| [21:05] | You bet. We are. | -当然 -没错 |
| [21:06] | Then let’s go. | 咱们走 |
| [21:10] | And me with just a nutsack. | 爽啊 |