| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | I know that I said that I wanted | 我知道我说过 |
| [00:04] | -to get rid of her and have you come back… -Oh, no! | -摆脱她然后让你住回来 -天啊不要 |
| [00:07] | I’m just going to have to make it work. No, no, no, no, no! | -我只是想一切都顺利 -不 不 不 不 不 |
| [00:10] | I’m sorry! | 对不起 |
| [00:11] | Okay, I’ll figure something out. | 算了 我会想到一个办法的 |
| [00:14] | If nothing else, I am a survivor. | 如果没办法 我也能扛下来 |
| [00:21] | Doctor said you had a little heart attack. | 医生说你心脏病犯了 |
| [00:24] | I remember that | 我记得也是 |
| [00:27] | Zoey’s moving in… | 佐伊搬进来了 |
| [00:29] | and I’m moving out… | 我必须要搬走 |
| [00:36] | No… | 不是的 |
| [00:36] | No… you’re not moving out. | 你错了 你不用搬走 |
| [00:38] | -I’m not? -No, you can stay as long as you want, | -我不用搬走 -你想住多久 |
| [00:40] | as long as you need. | 都随便你 |
| [00:42] | Oh, that’s… that’s so good to hear. | 真是个好消息啊 |
| [00:47] | Really, you don’t have to carryy bags. | 真的 你不用替我拿着包包 |
| [00:49] | Alan, you had a heart attack, okay? | 艾伦你得了心脏病啊 |
| [00:51] | You need to take it easy. | 你要放松点 |
| [00:51] | Well, I appreciate it, but I’m fine. | 我很感激你的关心 可是我挺好的 |
| [00:53] | Whoa, do not say that. | 打住 不许说那个 |
| [00:57] | Why not? | 为啥不 |
| [00:57] | Let me tell you about my Grandma Abigail. | 让我给你讲讲我的阿比盖尔奶奶的事情 |
| [00:59] | When I was a kid, she came to move in with us. | 我小的时候 她搬到我家 |
| [01:01] | And one day I said, “How ya doingGrandma?” | 一天我问她 奶奶你好吗 |
| [01:04] | And she said, “Fine.” And then she dropped dead. | 她说我挺好的 然后她就死翘翘了 |
| [01:08] | You’re kidding. | 真的吗 |
| [01:09] | No, face down in my Legos. | 直接拍在我的乐高玩具上 |
| [01:13] | Well, that’s terrible. | 太可怕了 |
| [01:14] | But I’m fine. Do not say that! | -但是我真的挺好 -闭嘴 |
| [01:18] | My Uncle Hal? | 我的哈尔叔叔 |
| [01:19] | When I was a kid, he used to spend Thanksgivings us, | 在我小的时候常常到我家过感恩节 |
| [01:21] | and one year, we’re at dinner and… | 有一次我们正在吃饭 |
| [01:23] | you know, like football and turkey and the whole bit, | 你懂的 就是看看橄榄球吃吃火鸡那些啦 |
| [01:25] | and I said, “How ya doing, Uncle Hal”” | 然后我问了句哈尔叔叔你好吧 |
| [01:27] | And he said, “Fine”” | 他说我挺好的 |
| [01:28] | And then he went to the bathroom, | 然后他去了厕所 |
| [01:31] | and he crapped out his small intestines. | 然后把自己的肠子拉了出来 |
| [01:34] | Oh, oh… okay, t-that’s horrible, | 太恐怖了 |
| [01:36] | but I promise you, I am fine. | 但是我发誓 我真的挺好 |
| [01:38] | Surprise! | 意外惊喜啊 |
| [01:43] | I told you not to say it! | 我都说了别说那句 |
| [02:00] | somebody call 911. | 谁给911打个电话 |
| [02:01] | Gotcha. | 吓到你们了吧 |
| [02:02] | Oh… | 哦 |
| [02:04] | Alan, don’t you ever do that to me again. | 艾伦 你再也不能这样吓唬我们了 |
| [02:09] | I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 对不起 对不起 |
| [02:10] | So a you guys came just to welcome me back? | 你们就是过来欢迎我回家的吗 |
| [02:13] | Of course we did, darling. We were worried about you. | 对啊 我们都好担心你啊 |
| [02:15] | Yeah, I’ve been beside myself with concern. | 我就是过来打酱油的 |
| [02:19] | I don’t know what to say. I’m really touched. | 我都不知道说什么好了 好感动 |
| [02:22] | Come here, Alan. | 艾伦到这里来 |
| [02:23] | Sit down. I made you some tea. | 坐下吧 我给你倒一杯茶 |
| [02:25] | Wait, did you just call me Alan? | 你叫我艾伦 |
| [02:26] | Well, that’s your name, isn’t it? | 那是你的名字啊 |
| [02:28] | Yeah, but you always call me Zippy. | 可是以前你一直叫我衰仔啊 |
| [02:29] | I know, but I’ve got a little rule. | 但是我是有原则的人 |
| [02:31] | I never make fun of someone who could come back and haunt me. | 我从来不欺负随时可以变鬼缠着我的人 |
| [02:36] | Sugar or honey? | 糖还是蜂蜜啊 |
| [02:38] | I thought we decided on Alan? | 我觉得还是艾伦决定吧 |
| [02:42] | Do you want me to turn up the heat? | 你要不要我把温度调高 |
| [02:44] | I’m fine. Okay | 我真的没事的 |
| [02:48] | Why don’t you just lay down. | 你躺下好不好 |
| [02:49] | Uh, no, really, I’m good. I’ve been in bed for a week. | 不用的 我都躺了一个礼拜了 |
| [02:52] | Do it for me. | 为了我躺下吧 |
| [02:53] | Uh, okay, but let me just point out | 我不得不指出 |
| [02:55] | that that never works when I say that to you. | 我说这话你从来都不听的 |
| [02:59] | Guess what. While you were in the hospital, | 你住院的时候 |
| [03:00] | I aced all my final exams. | 我搞定了所有的期末考试 |
| [03:02] | Really?! I don’t believe it! | 真的吗 我真的不敢相信啊 |
| [03:04] | I told you he wouldn’t buy it. | 我都说了他不会信的 |
| [03:07] | Wait, waitwait. You lied to me? | 等下 你是骗我的 |
| [03:09] | Uh, I told him to. I thought the truth might kill you. | 我让他撒谎的 真话可能会搞死你 |
| [03:13] | -But there is some real good news, -What’s that? | -但是还是有真的好消息 -是什么 |
| [03:15] | I found out for sure I’m not gay. | 我确定我不是同性恋 |
| [03:18] | But why’s that good news? | 这算什么好消息 |
| [03:19] | It’s mostly good news for gay people. | 这个对同性恋讲是个好消息 |
| [03:24] | A-A-All right, look, I appreciate | 好吧 感谢各位 |
| [03:26] | all the trouble you’re taking to welcome me home, | 感谢你们欢迎我回家做的一切 |
| [03:28] | but if you don’t mind, I’d just like to go back to my room. | 如果你们不介意 我就回房间了 |
| [03:31] | Oh, you heard him. | 没问题 |
| [03:32] | He wants to go to his room. Here, Zoey. | 艾伦要回房间了 佐伊 |
| [03:34] | Take the tea. | 你拿着茶 |
| [03:35] | Walden, I can walk on my own. | 沃顿我自己能走的 |
| [03:38] | That’s what my blind Aunt Shirley said. | 我瞎了眼睛的雪梨阿姨也这么讲 |
| [03:40] | And then we went to Miami | 我们圣诞节的时候 |
| [03:42] | on Christmas vacation, | 一起去了迈阿密 |
| [03:43] | and then “Blam”” | 结果轰的一下 |
| [03:44] | Greyhound came out of nowhere and flattened her. | 灰狗不知道从哪里跑了出来放平了她 |
| [03:46] | She got hit by a bus? | 被公交撞了吗（北美的巴士叫灰狗） |
| [03:47] | No, she wandered onto the dog track | 她溜达到了赛狗场 |
| [03:49] | in the middle of the ninth race. | 走到了第九赛道中间 |
| [03:51] | Technically, she came in third. | 实际上是第三赛道 |
| [03:55] | Anyway, I got a little * surprise for you. * | 总之我给你准备了一个意外之喜啊 |
| [03:57] | Oh, Walden, you’ve already done so much. | 沃顿你做的够多了 |
| [03:59] | I dot know what else you could possibly… | 我实在不想麻烦你了 |
| [04:04] | A real bed! Yeah. | 一个真的床 |
| [04:06] | It’s not just a bed. Get on it. Check it out. | 不仅仅是床哦 你上去试试 |
| [04:08] | Oh, my golly. | 上帝啊 |
| [04:14] | The bed is becoming tumescent. | 我的床会自己充气 |
| [04:15] | Yeah…! | 不咋样 |
| [04:17] | Pretty cool, uh? | 不错吧 |
| [04:19] | See, so you don’t have to exert yourself | 这下你进来或者出去的时候 |
| [04:20] | when you’re getting in and out. | 就不用再折叠床了 |
| [04:23] | and what pray tell is that? | 那又是什么 |
| [04:25] | That is a 46″ High-definition plasma screen TV, | 那是台46寸高清等离子电视 |
| [04:29] | complete with a deluxe sports satellite package | 配备豪华卫星体育节目套餐 |
| [04:32] | Nice! No movies? | 帅啊 没电影吗 |
| [04:36] | No, we could switch it to a movie package. | 没 不过可以换成电影套餐 |
| [04:38] | Or you could add it. | 不用 直接加上去 |
| [04:41] | Oh, okay, we’ll add it. | 好吧 加上去 |
| [04:43] | And don’t forget the adult channels. | 别忘了加成人频道 |
| [04:46] | No problem. | 没问题 |
| [04:47] | You have to ask for them specifically. | 你要明确跟他们说 |
| [04:48] | Otherwise they block them. | 不然会被屏蔽掉 |
| [04:50] | Right. | 好 |
| [04:51] | Hey, why don’t you take a nap until dinner? | 要不你晚饭前先睡一下吧 |
| [04:53] | I’m not tired. | 我不累 |
| [04:55] | That’s what my cousin Earl said | 我表哥厄尔 |
| [04:57] | right before he fell asleep with a cigarette in his hand. | 吸着烟睡着之前也这么说 |
| [04:59] | Set his bed on fire? | 他把床点着了 |
| [05:00] | No, his fireworks stand. | 不 他点着了他的烟花摊 |
| [05:03] | I was standing across the street | 我当时就站在对面街上 |
| [05:04] | yelling at him to wake up | 叫着喊他快点醒来 |
| [05:05] | when the first rocket went off, | 眼见第一支火箭爆炸 |
| [05:07] | followed by 800 Roman candles. | 接着是八百发罗马烛光 |
| [05:10] | It was horrifying | 场面非常吓人 |
| [05:12] | and really cool at the same time. | 不过同时又异常壮观 |
| [05:15] | Okay, I’ll take a nap. | 好吧 我先睡一会儿 |
| [05:16] | Good, good, good, you just… | 好好好 |
| [05:18] | I don’t want you to do anything. | 不要去做任何事 |
| [05:18] | Just relax and get better. | 只管休养身体就好 |
| [05:20] | That’s a nice thought, Walden, | 沃顿 话虽这么说 |
| [05:21] | but I got a lot of work to do. | 可我还有很多事要做 |
| [05:22] | I got bills to pay. | 很多帐单还等着我结呢 |
| [05:23] | No, don’t worry about the bills. | 不 账单的事不用你担心 |
| [05:24] | I’ll take care of everything. | 一切都由我来搞定 |
| [05:25] | Walden, I can’t let you just take care of everything. | 沃顿 我不能把一切都扔给你 |
| [05:27] | Listen, I made a promise to myself when I was 11 years old | 听着 我11岁的时候就跟自己发誓 |
| [05:30] | and salmonella decimated my father’s entire side | 那年的复活节寻彩蛋活动上 |
| [05:32] | of the family at the annl Easter egg hunt. | 沙门氏菌夺走了我父亲家族的生命 |
| [05:35] | Nobody else dies on my watch. | 我发誓不让任何人在我眼皮底下死去 |
| [05:40] | Poor guy, living with all that guilt. | 可怜的娃 背负那么多的愧疚 |
| [05:45] | I can exploit that. | 不过益我了 |
| [05:49] | How come you’re not coming over? | 你怎么不过来 |
| [05:50] | I can’t. I have Ava. | 我不行 我要照顾艾娃 |
| [05:52] | Why don’t you come over here? | 要不你过来 |
| [05:53] | I can’t. I have Alan. | 我不行 我要照顾艾伦 |
| [05:55] | Oh, for God’s sake. | 老天爷 |
| [05:57] | Well, he had a heart attack, Zoey. | 佐伊 他刚刚心脏病发作呢 |
| [05:59] | Oh, bollocks. | 胡扯 |
| [06:00] | He’s going to outlive us all. | 他肯定能比我们长命 |
| [06:02] | A week after nuclear Armageddon, the world will be populated | 要是核战真的爆发了 一个星期之后 |
| [06:05] | by nothing but cockroaches and Alan Harper. | 世界上会只剩蟑螂和艾伦还活着 |
| [06:08] | Wow, that is a side of you that is not attractive. | 你这个阴暗面可真不讨人喜欢 |
| [06:12] | It’s the lawyer side of me. | 这是我作为律师的一面 |
| [06:13] | Yeah, yuck. | 啧啧 真难看 |
| [06:15] | Look, I see these kind of scam artists all the time | 平日里我见多了这种诈骗老手 |
| [06:18] | and I don’t want you being taken advantage of. | 我只是不希望你被人占便宜 |
| [06:21] | I am just taking care of my friend. | 我只是在照顾我的朋友 |
| [06:23] | No, you are providing food, shelter, and satellite TV | 不 你是在给一只蟑螂提供吃住 |
| [06:27] | to a cockroach. | 还有卫星电视 |
| [06:29] | Hello, anybody? | 有没有人啊 |
| [06:32] | Getting kind of hungry in here. | 人家快饿晕了 |
| [06:34] | Uh, B-Berta, Alan’s hungry. | 波塔 艾伦饿了 |
| [06:36] | Is his dinner ready yet? | 晚饭做好了吗 |
| [06:37] | Coming up. | 马上就来 |
| [06:40] | Really? | 有没有搞错 |
| [06:41] | He gets room service? | 他还要客房服务 |
| [06:42] | Did I ever tell you about my Aunt Phyllis? | 我有没有跟你说过菲莉丝姨妈的事 |
| [06:46] | When I was a kid she took me on a trip to New York, | 我小的时候 她带我去纽约旅行 |
| [06:48] | and we were staying at the Waldorf-Astoria, | 我们住在华道夫-阿斯多里亚酒店 |
| [06:50] | and she didn’t want to wait for room service, | 她没有等客房服务 |
| [06:52] | so she headed down to the restaurant | 自己去楼下的餐厅 |
| [06:53] | and she fell 24 stories down an empty elevator shaft. | 结果从24层楼高的空电梯井里掉了下去 |
| [06:59] | We never got to see Cats. | 我们没看成《猫》音乐剧 |
| [07:02] | So you’re afraid Alan is going to fall into an elevator shaft? | 你担心艾伦会掉进电梯井里 |
| [07:05] | Don’t poke at it, Zoey. The wound is still fresh. | 别揭人家的伤疤 伤口还没愈合呢 |
| [07:15] | Come in. | 进来 |
| [07:18] | Did my little buddy save room for dessert? | 小伙子还吃得下甜点吗 |
| [07:20] | I sure did, Skipper. | 绝对能 队长 |
| [07:22] | Good, ’cause I made your favorite. | 那就好 我做了你的最爱 |
| [07:23] | – Peach cobbler? – Yep. | -蜜桃甜糕 -没错 |
| [07:25] | Warm with ice cream? | 热浇冰淇淋 |
| [07:26] | I’ll be right back. | 我去去就回 |
| [07:28] | I’m not going anywhere. | 我哪也不会去哦 |
| [07:31] | Okay, let’s see what’s on those adult channels. | 看看成人频道有什么好看的 |
| [07:36] | Avatart. | 阿凡塔 |
| [07:38] | Oh, in 3D. | 还是3D版的 |
| [07:44] | Come in. | 进来 |
| [07:47] | Hey, you. | 你好啊 |
| [07:48] | Judith, what a, what a nice surprise. | 朱蒂丝 没想到是你 |
| [07:50] | How are you feeling? | 你感觉怎么样 |
| [07:52] | Not bad, all things considered. | 总的来说 还行 |
| [07:54] | Oh, you’re so brave. | 你真勇敢 |
| [07:56] | Now, listen, there’s something we need to talk about. | 有件事我们要商量一下 |
| [07:58] | Look, I know the child support checks are late, | 我知道杰克的抚养费还没给你 |
| [08:00] | but, but please allow me to get back to my job. | 等我回去工作以后一定补上 |
| [08:07] | Forget the child support. | 你别管抚养费了 |
| [08:12] | You just get better. | 你尽管好好休养 |
| [08:13] | I can manage fine without your money. | 你不给我也可以搞定 |
| [08:15] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [08:16] | I always suspected as much, but thank you. | 我一直怀疑是这样 不过谢谢 |
| [08:18] | And Herb and I have the condo in Palm Springs, | 赫伯和我在棕榈泉有套公寓 |
| [08:20] | so you’re certainly welcome to use it | 你在养病的时候 |
| [08:22] | while you’re recuperating. | 随时可以过去住 |
| [08:23] | How can you afford a condo in Palm Springs? | 你们怎么买得起棕榈泉的公寓 |
| [08:25] | We made a judgment call with Jake’s college fund. | 反正杰克也考不上大学 就用他的学费买的 |
| [08:29] | Anyway, you’re welcome to use it. | 总之我们随时欢迎你 |
| [08:31] | Wow, thank you, th-that’s very generous. | 谢谢 你们真是大方 |
| [08:33] | Well, look, I know we’ve obviously had our differences. | 我知道我们以前有过分歧 |
| [08:36] | We have. | 确实 |
| [08:38] | And I haven’t always been very nice to you. | 我对你一直也不怎么好 |
| [08:40] | I just figured you didn’t like me. | 我知道你不怎么待见我 |
| [08:43] | Alan, we were married for 12 years. | 艾伦 我们做了12年夫妻 |
| [08:45] | You’re the father of my son. | 你还是我儿子的爸爸 |
| [08:46] | Just because I couldn’t stay married to you | 虽说咱俩的婚姻一拍两散 |
| [08:48] | doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. | 但并不代表我就不再爱你 |
| [08:49] | Gee, it sure felt that way. | 老天 我也是这么想的 |
| [08:52] | Oh, I’m sorry for that. | 知道你病了我很难过 |
| [08:54] | You just get well, okay? | 早日康复 好吗 |
| [08:57] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [09:03] | A house in Malibu, no child support, | 马里布的豪宅 不用付赡养费 |
| [09:06] | free condo in Palm Springs. | 棕泉市的免费公寓 |
| [09:09] | Why would anyone want to eliminate heart disease? | 怎么会有人想根除心脏病的 |
| [09:16] | Don’t worry, you lovely blue ladies, | 别担心 全身蓝色的小妞们 |
| [09:18] | as soon as my right hand is free, | 一旦我右手闲下来 |
| [09:20] | I’ll be giving you my full attention. | 就让本尊来好好临幸你们 |
| [09:24] | Rats. | 讨厌 |
| [09:28] | Come in. | 请进 |
| [09:31] | How’s my man? | 我家男人怎么样了 |
| [09:32] | Oh, you know, okay | 还说得过去吧 |
| [09:35] | for a guy who recently stare into the jaws of death. | 对一个最近才独闯鬼门关的人来说 |
| [09:38] | That’s why I’m here. | 所以我才来陪你 |
| [09:39] | I want to help with your recovery. | 帮助你早日康复 |
| [09:41] | Really, what’d you have in mind? | 是吗 你想怎么个帮法 |
| [09:43] | I-I’m not supposed to exert myself. | 我应该不用自己动脑想吧 |
| [09:45] | Don’t worry, you don’t have to do a thing. | 别担心 你什么都不需要做 |
| [09:48] | Just lie back and I’ll do all the work. | 乖乖躺好 剩下来的事交给我了 |
| [09:51] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [09:51] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [09:53] | Uh, let me put my cobbler down. | 我先把我这蜜桃甜糕放到一边 |
| [09:54] | No, no, no, keep it. | 别 别 别 拿着 |
| [09:56] | You sure? | 你确定 |
| [09:57] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| [09:59] | It’d be rude for me to eat alone. | 就我一个人在”吃” 太没礼貌了 |
| [10:06] | All righty then. | 那好吧 |
| [10:09] | You got any porn on this thing? | 这玩意儿里有黄片不 |
| [10:11] | Uh, gee, I, I don’t know. | 老天 我还真不知道 |
| [10:16] | Why don’t you check? | 不试试怎么知道 |
| [10:17] | Shake things up a bit. | 看看黄片助助兴嘛 |
| [10:19] | Oh, gosh, well, I, yeah, | 天啊 这敢情好 |
| [10:21] | I guess I, I guess I, I-I could do that. | 这个 这个 我办得到 |
| [10:25] | Oh, look, there’s some now. | 快看啊 刚巧在放哎 |
| [10:29] | How fortuitous. | 怎么这么巧 |
| [10:30] | Now, just relax and enjoy your cobbler. | 放轻松 好好吃你的蜜桃甜糕 |
| [10:36] | Right back at you. | 彼此彼此 |
| [10:41] | This is the best day of my entire life. | 这是我此生最棒的一天了 |
| [10:57] | All right, Mr. Harper. | 好了 哈勃先生 |
| [11:04] | Well, I’ve got some good news. | 我这有些好消息 |
| [11:05] | Let me have it. | 告诉我吧 |
| [11:06] | I’m banging my receptionist. | 我把我的前台给上了 |
| [11:11] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [11:12] | I… I never get tired of that one. | 这笑话我怎么也说不腻 |
| [11:15] | That-that’s funny, but, uh, what about me? | 的确挺搞笑 不过 那我呢 |
| [11:17] | No, you don’t have a chance with her. | 不 你跟她没戏 |
| [11:19] | She likes rich guys. | 她爱有钱人 |
| [11:23] | All right, back to your, uh, heart. | 好吧 言归正传 你的心脏 |
| [11:26] | It’s looking good. | 没什么问题 |
| [11:27] | Uh, are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [11:28] | Tests show you’ve had no damage. | 测试显示你没有任何损伤 |
| [11:31] | Your cholesterol looks normal. | 胆固醇量也正常 |
| [11:32] | It’s like the heart attack never even happened. | 你这心脏病突发就像不曾发生一样 |
| [11:36] | And you’re not happy about that? | 而你似乎对这结果不大满意 |
| [11:39] | NoI-I am. | 没有的事 |
| [11:40] | Um, uh, is this confidential, what we’re saying? | 这是保密的吗 我俩之间的对话 |
| [11:44] | Think of me as a priest. | 你就把我当成神父吧 |
| [11:46] | Except, when I touch your nuts, | 不同之处在于当我手伸进你裤裆时 |
| [11:47] | it’s strictly business. | 只是公事公办而已 |
| [11:50] | Okay, uh… uh, uh, here it is. | 好的 呃… 事情是这样的 |
| [11:53] | Um, ever since the heart attack, | 自从我有了心脏病 |
| [11:55] | uh, my life has actually gotten better. | 我的生活似乎开始好转 |
| [11:57] | Uh, my girlfriend, my ex-wife, | 我的女友 我的前妻 |
| [11:59] | even my mother have all been showering me | 甚至我的母亲都开始不吝惜 |
| [12:01] | with love and attention. | 她们对我的关爱 |
| [12:02] | Well, they were afraid they were losing you. | 她们这是怕失去你 |
| [12:04] | Have you ever had oral sex and peach cobbler? | 你曾经边口交边吃着蜜桃甜糕吗 |
| [12:08] | At the same time? | 同时吗 |
| [12:12] | Can’t say that I have. | 还真不能说我有过 |
| [12:14] | Well, I have. | 我有过 |
| [12:15] | And once my girlfriend finds out that I’m healthy, | 一旦我女友发现我大病初愈 |
| [12:17] | I’m back to sucking Life Savers and humping my pillow. | 我就要滚回去”自给自足”了 |
| [12:22] | Well, as your doctor, all I can tell you | 作为你的医生 我能告诉你的是 |
| [12:25] | is you’re perfectly healthy. | 你身体健康得很 |
| [12:26] | Can I get a second opinion? | 能给一些补充意见吗 |
| [12:27] | Yes, you’re ugly, too. | 同时你还很丑 |
| [12:32] | I joke. | 玩笑而已 |
| [12:35] | again, as your doctor, | 再一次 作为你的医生 |
| [12:36] | I have to tell you you’re in great shape. | 我必须告诉你 你现在状况良好 |
| [12:38] | But, uh… | 不过呢 |
| [12:41] | as a guy who’s banging his receptionist, | 作为一个干翻前台 |
| [12:44] | two pharmaceutical reps | 外加俩医药代表 |
| [12:45] | and, uh, on occasion, his bloated, rich wife, | 还时不时临幸下他臃肿却多金的老婆之人 |
| [12:50] | let me add: | 我多一句嘴 |
| [12:52] | Don’t be a schmuck. | 脑子一定要放清楚 |
| [12:53] | Lie your ass off. | 扯谎扯到天荒地老吧 |
| [12:56] | Thanks, Doc. That’s good advice. | 谢谢医生 真是金玉良言 |
| [13:07] | Jeanine, hi. | 珍宁 嗨 |
| [13:09] | Uh, listen, could you run down to the deli | 听着 帮我跑一趟熟食店 |
| [13:11] | and pick up a peach cobbler | 给我带一份蜜桃甜糕回来 |
| [13:13] | and meet me in exam room 2. | 然后在第二检查室那等我 |
| [13:24] | How’d it go? | 结果如何 |
| [13:25] | Good news? | 好消息吗 |
| [13:26] | It’s bad, Mom. | 不大好 妈妈 |
| [13:28] | It’s real bad. | 真的很糟 |
| [13:30] | Darling, I am so sorry. | 亲爱的 真替你难过 |
| [13:33] | Hey, I know what would cheer you up. | 嘿 我知道什么能让你开心起来 |
| [13:36] | So do I. | 我也是 |
| [13:38] | No, I was thinking I could take you shopping. | 不 我是说带你去购物 |
| [13:40] | Come on, now. | 现在就走 |
| [13:41] | There must be something I can get you | 我一定能给你找到个什么东西 |
| [13:42] | that would turn that from upside down. | 能让你感觉好一些的 |
| [13:45] | Well, uh, remember when I was a kid | 呃 还记得小时候 |
| [13:47] | how I always wanted to be a cowboy? | 我一直都想做一个牛仔吗 |
| [13:50] | I’m not going to buy you a horse, Alan. | 我才不会给你买匹马 艾伦 |
| [13:53] | Of course not. | 当然 |
| [13:54] | Guess I’ll just have to be a cowboy in Heaven. | 看来我只能到天堂再做牛仔了 |
| [14:01] | Are your eyes closed? | 眼睛闭好了吗 |
| [14:02] | Yep, they’re closed. | 闭好了 |
| [14:12] | Open. | 睁开吧 |
| [14:18] | You must be kidding me. | 你疯了吧 |
| [14:21] | It’s the safest way for Alan to get up and down the stairs. | 这样艾伦上下楼梯最安全 |
| [14:24] | Why does he have to get up and down the stairs? | 他要上下楼干什么 |
| [14:26] | So he can use my whirlpool tub. | 用我的冲浪浴缸啊 |
| [14:29] | Oh, dear Lord. | 天哪 |
| [14:30] | He needs it for his circulation. | 这样能加强血液循环 |
| [14:32] | He said he’s starting to get bed sores. | 他说他躺得都长褥疮了 |
| [14:34] | Then you tell him to get out of bed. | 那你该让他别一天到晚躺在床上 |
| [14:36] | You don’t build him his own private escalator. | 而不是给他做个专用电梯 |
| [14:48] | Howdy, pardner. | 哈喽 伙计 |
| [14:52] | Ma’am. | 女士 |
| [14:55] | You look great. | 很帅气嘛 |
| [14:56] | Just checking it off my bucket list. | 我的遗愿清单可以划去一项了 |
| [14:59] | What’d the doctor say? | 医生怎么说 |
| [15:00] | It’s not good. | 不太乐观 |
| [15:02] | I might have to have a transplant. | 可能需要器官移植 |
| [15:07] | I’m sorry. | 我真替你难过 |
| [15:09] | Let’s just hope that somewhere | 现在只能盼着 |
| [15:10] | there’s a baboon with a healthy heart | 哪有个心脏健康的二缺 |
| [15:11] | riding a motorcycle without a helmet. | 不戴头盔去飙摩托了 |
| [15:16] | For God’s sake. | 靠 有完没完 |
| [15:18] | Excuse me. I’m going to take a whirlpool | 不好意思 我先去泡个浪浴 |
| [15:19] | until my masseuse gets here. | 等我的按摩师来 |
| [15:22] | You got him a masseuse? | 你还给他请按摩师 |
| [15:24] | It helps prevent blood clots. | 能预防形成血栓 |
| [15:33] | My Uncle Fred had a blood clot in his leg, | 我弗雷德叔叔腿上就有个血栓 |
| [15:35] | and when I was little, he took me | 小时候他带我去圣塔莫妮卡码头游乐场 |
| [15:36] | to the Santa Monica Pier, and we went on the Tilt-A-Whirl, | 我们坐勇敢者转盘的时候 |
| [15:39] | and the centrifugal force shot the clot into his brain. | 血块受离心作用直冲大脑 |
| [15:44] | It was the worst birthday ever. | 那是我过得最糟糕的生日 |
| [15:46] | He’s seen a lot of tragedy, Zoey. | 他经历过很多不幸 佐伊 |
| [15:49] | Be nice to him. | 请对他好一点 |
| [16:00] | Too hard? | 太用力了吗 |
| [16:02] | Nah, dig in. I like it rough. | 没 继续 我就喜欢重口味 |
| [16:06] | Brought your banana smoothie. | 给你拿了杯香蕉冰沙 |
| [16:07] | Oh, thank you, Zoey. | 太谢谢了 佐伊 |
| [16:09] | Um, would you mind | 能不能帮我 |
| [16:10] | sticking the straw in my donut hole? | 把吸管塞进我的小洞洞 |
| [16:14] | Oh, I would love to. | 非常乐意 |
| [16:18] | Tasty. | 真好喝 |
| [16:24] | I want you to listen to me very carefully. | 你给我仔细听好了 |
| [16:27] | You may have everyone else around here fooled, | 你骗的了别人可骗不了我 |
| [16:29] | but I know you’re full of crap. | 一撅屁股我就知道你拉的什么屎 |
| [16:32] | Beg pardon? | 你说啥 |
| [16:34] | What you do with your family | 你怎么耍你家人 |
| [16:35] | and your girlfriend is your business, | 耍你女友都是你的事 |
| [16:37] | but I want you to stop taking advantage of Walden. | 但你最好别再琢磨占沃顿的便宜 |
| [16:40] | I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [16:41] | You know exactly what I’m talking about. | 你完全知道我在说什么 |
| [16:43] | I-I’m sorry. I really don’t know what you’re… | 对不起 我真不知道… |
| [16:44] | You’ve been warned. | 总之我警告过你了 |
| [16:50] | Well, thanks for the… the smoothie, Zoey. | 谢谢你的冰沙 佐伊 |
| [16:56] | That bitch has got to go. | 这个贱女人必须滚蛋 |
| [17:04] | How about that? | 我就说嘛 |
| [17:05] | Stars really are just like us. | 明星跟我们也没什么两样 |
| [17:09] | – Alan. – Oh! | -艾伦 -哦 |
| [17:12] | Oh, my. | 都来了啊 |
| [17:14] | Careful. | 小心哦 |
| [17:15] | You don’t want to give me a heart attack. | 你们可不想让我心脏病发 |
| [17:17] | We need to talk to you. | 我们有话跟你说 |
| [17:19] | Oh, yeah, sure. | 哦 好的 |
| [17:23] | I’ll be right back. | 马上回来 |
| [17:25] | Um, think I left the tub running, so… | 我好像没关浴缸… |
| [17:27] | Stop. | 站住 |
| [17:30] | Now, get out of that chair and get down here. | 从椅子上起来 赶紧滚下来 |
| [17:34] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:36] | The queen has spoken. | 既然女王殿下发话了 |
| [17:43] | My legs are still a little al dente. | 我的腿还有点拧劲 |
| [17:49] | So… | 那个… |
| [17:51] | what up? | 肿么啦 |
| [17:54] | I’ll tell you “What up.” | 我告诉你”肿么啦” |
| [17:56] | I asked one of the private investigators for my law firm | 我让我们事务所一个私家侦探 |
| [17:59] | to follow you for a few days. | 跟踪了你几天 |
| [18:01] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [18:03] | Uh, uh, wh-which days in particular? | 具…具体哪几天 |
| [18:07] | This is from last Monday, | 这是上周一 |
| [18:08] | when you said you were going | 你说你要去沙滩散步 |
| [18:09] | for a therapeutic walk on the beach. | 帮助治疗 |
| [18:43] | Okay. Okay. | 行 行 |
| [18:44] | Yeah, yeah, you know… | 这个吧… |
| [18:46] | I can see | 我知道 |
| [18:48] | how this looks, | 这个看起来… |
| [18:50] | but, you know, actually, | 但其实… |
| [18:52] | there is a-a-a very… | 这个很… |
| [18:54] | a very simple, uh, uh, explanation. | 很好解释 |
| [19:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:10] | Well… | 那… |
| [19:11] | we got cobbler in the kitchen. | 厨房有水果派 |
| [19:23] | 911? | 谁打下911 |
| [19:26] | Anybody? | 有人吗 |
| [19:58] | How long do you plan on lying there? | 你还打算趴到什么时候 |
| [20:00] | Until the shame passes. | 到不再觉得丢脸 |
| [20:03] | So a while? | 那还得有一阵子咯 |
| [20:04] | Oh, yeah. | 嗯哪 |
| [20:06] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [20:08] | Well… | 那… |
| [20:11] | sleep well. | 晚安了 |
| [20:12] | Thanks. You, too. | 谢了 你也安 |
| [20:17] | * Memories * | *回忆* |
| [20:20] | * light the corners of my mind * | *照亮我心中的角落* |
| [20:26] | * Misty watercolored memories of the way we were… * | *那里珍藏着我们水彩般迷朦的岁月* |