| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:13] | Everything okay? | 你还好吧 |
| [00:14] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [00:16] | I just can’t remember what I came down here for. | 我突然忘了我下来干嘛了 |
| [00:22] | Oh. That happens to me all the time. | 我也经常这样 |
| [00:24] | I-I can’t remember a specific example, but yeah. | 经常到我都想不出例子了 不过我懂的 |
| [00:28] | Yeah, that’s annoying. | 确实很闹心 |
| [00:30] | Uh, maybe you were hungry. | 可能你是饿了 |
| [00:30] | Did you come down to get something to eat? | 是不是下来吃东西的 |
| [00:32] | No, I just ate. | 不对 我刚吃过 |
| [00:34] | Were you going to watch TV? | 那是下来看电视的吗 |
| [00:35] | No. I have a TV in my room. | 也不对 我卧室有电视啊 |
| [00:38] | This is very disconcerting. | 这感觉太吓人了 |
| [00:41] | Don’t panic. I mean, we’ll figure this out. | 别慌 咱们慢慢想 |
| [00:43] | Did you come down to give me the money you owe me? | 是不是下来还我钱的 |
| [00:47] | It’s worth a shot. | 值得一试嘛 |
| [00:48] | No. I was upstairs, and I thought to myself, | 没有 我刚在楼上 对自己说 |
| [00:51] | “I need to come downstairs and…” | “我得下楼去…” |
| [00:55] | and… | 去… |
| [00:58] | You know what might help? | 会不会是因为 |
| [00:59] | A little less… | 少这样… |
| [01:00] | “Whoa, dude, where’s my car?” | “喂 哥们儿 我的车呢” |
| [01:03] | No, it’s not the pot. | 不 不是大麻 |
| [01:04] | I’ve been smoking pot since… | 我吸大麻都吸了… |
| [01:06] | It’s… it’s not the pot. | 反正不是大麻的原因 |
| [01:09] | I… What did I come down here for? | 我 我到底下来干嘛来着 |
| [01:18] | Walden! | 沃顿 |
| [01:22] | I remember now. | 我现在想起来了 |
| [01:23] | We have a houseguest. | 咱们来客人了 |
| [02:00] | Thank you so much for sending that car for me. | 太谢谢你派那辆车来接我了 |
| [02:02] | I mean, I felt like a big ol’ movie star at the airport. | 在机场时 简直有种巨星驾到的感觉 |
| [02:05] | The driver held up a sign with my name on it, | 司机举着写有我名字的名牌 |
| [02:06] | carried my bags, and even gave me a bottle of water from Fiji. | 帮我拖着行李 递给我一瓶斐济的水 |
| [02:11] | It probably wasn’t from Fiji… | 应该不是斐济的… |
| [02:12] | Would you look at this house? | 瞧瞧你这房子啊 |
| [02:14] | I mean, right here on the ocean. | 瞅瞅这大海 |
| [02:15] | This is like something you would see in a magazine, | 这完全就是杂志里才会出现的画面啊 |
| [02:17] | except there would be famous people standing here instead of us. | 只是杂志里的人通常是明星而不是我们 |
| [02:21] | It is so nice to see you. | 太高兴见到你了 |
| [02:22] | Well, it is nice to see you, too. Let me… | 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [02:25] | Uh, Missi, let me introduce you to my friend… | 密西 给你介绍下我的朋友… |
| [02:25] | Hi, I’m Missi. | 你好 我是密西 |
| [02:27] | Everyone thinks it’s short for Melissa, | 人人都以为是密丽莎的简称 |
| [02:29] | but it’s actually short for Mississippi– | 其实是密西西比的简称 |
| [02:30] | the river not the state– | 密西西比河 不是密西西比州 |
| [02:31] | ’cause according to my parents, | 因为据我爹妈所说 |
| [02:32] | I was conceived on the deck of a gambling boat | 当时我爹赢了加勒比扑克的五千美金头奖 |
| [02:34] | when my daddy won a $5,000 jackpot on the Caribbean poker. | 于是我就在那条赌船的甲板上被”造”出来了 |
| [02:37] | – Wow, that’s a… – Have you ever been to the Caribbean? | -哇 这真是.. -你去过加勒比吗 |
| [02:39] | I went there three years ago for spring break, | 三年前我去过那里度春假 |
| [02:41] | and got stung by a jellyfish. | 结果被只水母给蛰了 |
| [02:43] | My friend had to pee on my leg. | 我朋友只好在我腿上尿了一泡 |
| [02:47] | Alan. | 他是艾伦 |
| [02:50] | – Uh, it’s nice to meet you. – It’s nice to meet you, too. | -很高兴见到你 -我也是 |
| [02:52] | Um, could you direct me to the little girl’s room? | 请问卫生间在哪 |
| [02:54] | I mean, unless one of y’all | 你们总不会也有人被水母蜇了 |
| [02:55] | have recently been stung by a jellyfish. | 需要我尿在你们腿上吧 |
| [02:57] | Oh, it’s right here. | 就在那里 |
| [02:58] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [03:03] | She’s a pistol. | 她像连珠炮似的 |
| [03:04] | More like an AK-47. | 是机关枪吧 |
| [03:08] | So, uh, what’s, uh… what’s the story here? | 所以… 有什么背后的故事 |
| [03:09] | Uh, you and her…? | 你跟她… |
| [03:11] | No. She’s my old friend Jerry’s daughter… | 不 她是我老朋友杰瑞的女儿 |
| [03:14] | …and she’s thinking about moving here, | 她想搬到这一带来住 |
| [03:15] | so I told him she could stay here for a couple days, | 所以我让她先来呆几天 |
| [03:17] | and I’d show her around. | 带她四处看看 |
| [03:19] | Mm. She’s very pretty. | 她很漂亮哦 |
| [03:25] | Yeah? | 那又怎样 |
| [03:27] | How old do you think she is? | 你觉得她有多大了 |
| [03:30] | Like, 18 or 19. | 18 9岁吧 |
| [03:32] | Oh, perfect. You might lose a friend, | 那太好了 你可能会失去一个朋友 |
| [03:34] | but you won’t go to jail. | 但总不至于进监狱 |
| [03:39] | Ow! Hey! Hey, hey, don’t hit me ’cause you can’t hit that. | 别打炮不到就打我啊 |
| [03:50] | Oh, my,God, the weather here is amazing. | 老 天 啊 这里天气简直好到爆 |
| [03:54] | You know, I could just lay out in the sun all day | 我可以像大蜥蜴一样 |
| [03:56] | just like a big ol’ lizard. | 在这阳光下晒上一整天 |
| [03:57] | Back home, I have to get a spray tan, and | 在我家那里 我只能用美黑喷雾 |
| [03:59] | sometimes it comes out a little orange, | 有时候还会变得橙不拉唧的 |
| [04:00] | which is totally fine during Halloween | 不过万圣节期间就没关系了 |
| [04:01] | ’cause I can always say that I’m going as a pumpkin. | 我可以说我扮的是南瓜 |
| [04:03] | I love Halloween. | 我 爱 万圣节 |
| [04:06] | Last year, I went to this party as a slutty nurse, | 去年我扮的是风骚小护士 |
| [04:08] | and then, the year before that, I was a slutty cat, | 前年我扮的是风骚小野猫 |
| [04:10] | and the year before that, I was a ladybug. | 再前年我扮的是瓢虫 |
| [04:11] | A slutty ladybug? | 风骚小瓢虫吗 |
| [04:13] | What? No! Why would I be a slutty ladybug? | 什么 才不是 扮瓢虫为毛还要性感啊 |
| [04:17] | Oh, I just …thought since you were… | 我只是 惯性思考… |
| [04:20] | So…what’s the deal with this Alan guy anyways? | 话说 那个艾伦什么来头 |
| [04:22] | Y’all, like, gay for each other or something? | 你俩难不成是好基友 |
| [04:24] | I mean, it’s totally fine if you are. | 如果是的话 我完全能接受 |
| [04:25] | I have a gay friend. His name is Russell. | 我有个基友 叫拉塞尔 |
| [04:27] | I got him to make out with me one time, but it didn’t take. | 我让他跟我亲热过一次 不过没成 |
| [04:30] | No. We… we are not gay. | 我 我们不是基友 |
| [04:33] | We are definitely not gay. | 我们绝对不是基 |
| [04:37] | So, your dad tells me that you’re, um… | 对了 你爸告诉我 |
| [04:39] | you’re thinking about relocating. | 你在考虑搬家啊 |
| [04:41] | Well, to be honest with you, | 跟你说实话吧 |
| [04:41] | I’m not really sure what I want to do. | 我也不知道自己想怎样 |
| [04:43] | You know, I can always keep working as a dental assistant. | 我可以一直当个牙医助理 |
| [04:45] | You know, that person that sucks the spit out of your mouth | 你懂的 就是用那个小吸水器 |
| [04:47] | with that little wet vac. | 一直帮你吸口水 |
| [04:48] | and then gives you the free toothbrush and the lollipop. | 还会送你”大根”和”棒棒”糖的人 |
| [04:50] | You do know what the lollipop’s for, right? | 你知道”棒棒”糖是干嘛的吧 |
| [04:53] | – Well, I’m assuming… – Repeat business. | -我猜是… -制造回头客 |
| [04:56] | You know,if it were up to me, | 要是让我做主 |
| [04:57] | I’d just give them caramel apple or a little taffy or something. | 我肯定会送焦糖苹果或者太妃糖之类的 |
| [05:00] | Pull their teeth right out of their little heads. | 直接把他们的牙给粘掉 |
| [05:02] | Now, that’s how you make money off children. | 小孩钱就是这么赚的 |
| [05:03] | Well, that and baby beauty pageants. | 当然 还有少儿选美大赛 |
| [05:07] | Right. | 是的 |
| [05:09] | Do you have a girlfriend? | 你有女友吗 |
| [05:13] | Uh… no, I do not. | 没 我没有 |
| [05:14] | I just went through a breakup. | 我刚经历了一次分手 |
| [05:16] | Oh, you poor baby. | 可怜的孩子 |
| [05:17] | I am so sorry. | 我深表同情 |
| [05:19] | Could you put some suntan lotion on my back? | 能帮我背上抹点防晒油吗 |
| [05:21] | Uh, sure. | 当然 |
| [05:22] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [05:28] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [05:30] | Well, don’t forget to rubba-dub-dub. | 还得左搓搓右揉揉啊 |
| [05:33] | Rubba-dub-dub? | 左搓搓右揉揉 |
| [05:33] | Yeah, you got to rub it in. | 得按摩让它吸收啊 |
| [05:36] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:40] | Would you be offended if I popped the girls out? | 会介意我让姑娘们出来透透气吗 |
| [05:42] | What? | 啥 |
| [05:43] | You know, get a little color on Kim and Khloe. | 你懂的 让乃乃和咪咪也晒晒太阳 |
| [05:48] | Oh, yeah, go ahead. | 哦 当然 请便 |
| [05:53] | where you going? | 你去哪 |
| [05:54] | Uh, I just need to do this thing that I need to do. | 去忙一件我要做的事 |
| [06:01] | Okay. I’ll be right here. Take care. | 马上回来 你保重 |
| [06:06] | You know,I had an electric car, too, when I was little. | 我小时候也有辆电动车 |
| [06:08] | You know, like one of those little Barbie Jeeps. | 就是那种少女小吉普 |
| [06:11] | But this one time, I left it out in the rain, | 有一次我把它忘在雨里了 |
| [06:13] | so the battery died. Uh-huh. | 结果电池就没法用了 |
| [06:14] | So my dad had to drill two little holes in the floorboard | 所以我爸在地板上挖了两大洞 |
| [06:16] | so I could stick my feet through | 让我能用脚跑来让车移动 |
| [06:17] | and pedal it just like Fred Flintstone. | 就像《摩登原始人》里的弗雷德一样 |
| [06:19] | Yabba-dabba-doo! | 呀吧哒吧嘟[卡通台词] |
| [06:22] | Hey. Where have you guys been? | 你们去哪了 |
| [06:24] | – Uh, we went… – Walden took me to the Santa Monica Pier. | -我们… -沃顿带我去圣莫妮卡码头了 |
| [06:26] | I actually got one of those churros. | 我还吃了根西班牙糖条 |
| [06:27] | You know, it’s like a… like a doughnut, but long and Mexican. | 就是那种 油条的造型 但是外面沾满糖 |
| [06:32] | Oh, hey. I’m Missi. | 你好 我是密西 |
| [06:33] | Are you Alan’s girlfriend? | 你是艾伦的女朋友吗 |
| [06:35] | Hell, no! No! | 果断不可能啊 |
| [06:37] | No, Berta is my housekeeper. | 不是 波塔是我的女管家 |
| [06:39] | Oh, cool. | 真酷 |
| [06:40] | When I was in high school, | 我上高中的时候 |
| [06:41] | I used to clean rooms at the Howard Johnson Hotel. | 在豪生酒店当过清洁工 |
| [06:43] | People are disgusting. | 那些开房的人太恶心了 |
| [06:44] | I walked into a bathroom one time, | 有一次我走进一间房的厕所 |
| [06:45] | and it looked like a cow had exploded. | 里面就像有头牛爆炸了一样 |
| [06:48] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [06:49] | That churro’s heading back to the border. | 糖条要拉出的时辰到了 |
| [06:53] | That, my friends, is what you get | 朋友 她就是 |
| [06:55] | when hillbillies have unprotected sex with hummingbirds. | 乡巴佬和蜂鸟无套性交的后果 |
| [07:02] | No. No trouble at all, Jerry. | 不 一点都不麻烦 杰瑞 |
| [07:04] | She’s a great kid. | 她是个很听话的小孩 |
| [07:05] | Takes after her old man. | 有其父必有其女嘛 |
| [07:20] | Uh, hey, Jerry, I’m getting another call. I got… | 杰瑞 又有一通电话找我 我得… |
| [07:28] | You know, I love you dearly, Jerry, but you got to shut up. | 我很爱你 杰瑞 但你得闭嘴了 |
| [07:34] | Okay, I’ll talk to you, buddy. | 好的 我下次再找你聊 老兄 |
| [07:38] | Yeah? | 什么事 |
| [07:42] | Hey, I just got off the phone with your dad. | 我刚跟你爸讲完电话 |
| [07:44] | – He was just calling to see how… – Oh, Lord,that man can talk. | -他打来想看看 -老天 他总是滔滔不绝 |
| [07:46] | I swear, he doesn’t even pause to take a breath. | 他废话连篇时 气都不用喘一口 |
| [07:48] | Do you have a sec? | 你现在有空吗 |
| [07:50] | Uh, sure. | 当然 |
| [07:54] | Okay, yeah, have-have a seat. | 好吧 行 你请坐吧 |
| [07:57] | This is a nice bed. | 真是张好床啊 |
| [07:59] | I bet you could do some serious drilling | 这么好的”工作台” “大干特干” |
| [08:01] | on a workbench like this, huh? | “钻洞”活绝对没问题 |
| [08:05] | Yeah. So you wanted to talk to me about something? | 是啊 你想跟我说什么来着 |
| [08:08] | Do you remember the last time that we saw each other? | 你记得我们上次见面的情形吗 |
| [08:10] | At dinner? | 刚晚餐时吗 |
| [08:11] | No, silly. I’m talking about | 不 蠢蛋 我说的是 |
| [08:14] | when I was, like, eight years old, | 我大概8岁的时候 |
| [08:15] | and you came to visit us, | 你来我家拜访 |
| [08:16] | and we all went to the state fair. | 然后我们一起去参加农牧产品交易会 |
| [08:18] | Okay, I remember that. | 好吧 我记得 |
| [08:19] | Remember you had to take me and my mom | 记得你不得不带着我和我妈去 |
| [08:21] | ’cause my dad was working late? | 因为我爸要加班吗 |
| [08:22] | And we ate cotton candy for dinner, and then you won me | 我们吃棉花糖当晚饭 然后你在 |
| [08:24] | that little stuffed pig in the squirt-gun horse race? | 喷射枪游戏中给我赢了个毛绒猪玩具 |
| [08:27] | I used to practice my kissing on him. | 我常用它来练习吻技哦 |
| [08:30] | That’s a lucky pig. | 真是头幸运的猪啊 |
| [08:32] | Eventually, I wore out all the terry cloth on his snout, | 练到后来 我把它鼻头上的毛绒都磨光了 |
| [08:34] | but it was actually okay, | 其实也没什么大不了的 |
| [08:35] | cause by that time, I changed over to real boys, | 因为当时我已经开始吻现实中的男孩了 |
| [08:37] | which, turns out a couple of them were pigs, too. | 不过 有几个男孩也是猪头 |
| [08:40] | Yeah, pigs. | 是啊 猪头 |
| [08:41] | Do you want a robe or a blanket or a suit of armor? | 你想套个睡袍 毯子或者盔甲吗 |
| [08:45] | Oh, no, no, no, no.I’m fine. | 不不不 我没事 |
| [08:48] | And remember, I wanted to go on the tilt-a-whirl, | 记得吗 当时我想玩游乐设施 |
| [08:49] | but my mom was too scared, | 但我妈会怕 |
| [08:51] | so you said you’d sit next to her, | 所以你就说你坐她旁边 |
| [08:52] | but I wanted you to sit next to me, so you sat in between us, | 但我希望你坐我旁边 最后你就坐在我们中间 |
| [08:54] | and you held both of our hands? | 你握住我们两个人的手 |
| [08:55] | But actually, you were the one that got scared | 但其实 害怕的人是你 |
| [08:56] | and started praying real loud. | 然后开始大声祈祷 |
| [08:57] | “Oh, Lord, please get me off this ride!” | “主啊 快让我下去吧” |
| [09:00] | I think you even tinkled a little bit. | 你好像还”漏了几滴”吧 |
| [09:03] | Oh, it’s a good memory. | 真是美好的记忆啊 |
| [09:05] | I remember ’cause it was one of the best days ever. | 我记得是因为那是最美好的日子之一 |
| [09:12] | Are you lonely? | 你寂寞吗 |
| [09:16] | Uh, you know, I-I got Alan. | 其实 我有艾伦的 |
| [09:20] | Yeah, but Alan doesn’t keep you warm at night. | 但是 艾伦可不会晚上帮你暖床哦 |
| [09:23] | You’d be surprised. | 这难说哦 |
| [09:26] | Listen, um, I have this idea. | 听着 我有个想法 |
| [09:30] | You know, you might think that it’s kind of crazy. | 你可能会觉得有点疯狂 |
| [09:33] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:34] | I was just thinking, you know, since you’re single, | 我在想 既然你是单身 |
| [09:37] | and-and you’re super hot and a really nice guy… | 又超级性感 而且是个好男人 |
| [09:41] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:42] | That, you know, maybe | 那个 或许 |
| [09:45] | you’d like to hook up with my mom. | 你愿意跟我妈凑一对 |
| [09:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:57] | She’s been all alone ever since my daddy ran off | 她已经独身多年了 自从我爸 |
| [09:59] | with that lady from the dry cleaners– | 被那个干洗店的女人拐跑了以后… |
| [10:00] | you know, the one with that weird eye | 就是那个眼睛长得很奇怪 |
| [10:01] | that won’t quite open all the way. | 似乎没办法完全睁开的那个 |
| [10:03] | Probably from all them dry cleaning fumes. | 可能是干洗剂的烟气熏的 |
| [10:04] | You know, we should have seen it coming. | 其实我们早该料到有那么一天的 |
| [10:05] | She gave him all the clothes that nobody claimed. | 她把没人认领的衣服全送给我爸 |
| [10:07] | He had, like, four tuxedos. | 他大概有4件燕尾服 |
| [10:10] | Wait. Wait. | 等下 等下 |
| [10:12] | You want to set me up with your mom? | 你想撮合我和你妈 |
| [10:13] | She kind of always had a thing for you, | 她似乎一直对你挺有好感的 |
| [10:15] | but she would kill me if I told you. | 她要知道是我漏口风 会杀了我 |
| [10:17] | Okay, Missi, I don’t think that’s a good idea… | 好吧 密西 我觉得这不是个好主意 |
| [10:19] | Just think about it, okay? | 就考虑一下 好吗 |
| [10:22] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:23] | Great. | 很好 |
| [10:26] | Oh, and if it helps at all, | 不知道这条信息有没有用 |
| [10:27] | she actually just got her boobs done. | 她最近刚隆了胸呢 |
| [10:29] | They actually used mine as a model. | 医生还用了我的胸当模型 |
| [10:30] | The doctor even put ’em in his catalogue– | 甚至将之放在了他的产品目录上 |
| [10:31] | number 244. | 第244号 |
| [10:33] | Anyone can’t get ’em, | 任何人都可以做成我这样 |
| [10:34] | but it’s kind of weird now when I walk around town | 但现在我走在大街上 |
| [10:36] | I just keep thinking I see my boobs everywhere. | 总觉得到处都看到我自己的胸 |
| [10:38] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [10:44] | Her mom? | 她老妈 |
| [10:49] | When did I become the guy | 我什么时候变成了那种 |
| [10:51] | that the hot 19-year-old looks at and goes, | 19岁的性感少女见了会说 |
| [10:53] | “Hey, you’d be great for my mom”? | “嘿 你跟我妈挺配的” |
| [10:56] | Count your blessings. | 你算是幸福的了 |
| [10:57] | One of my patients tried to set me up | 我的一个病人甚至想撮合 |
| [10:59] | with her 70-year-old grandmother. | 我和她70岁的奶奶 |
| [11:01] | No… | 不是吧 |
| [11:02] | Yeah, yeah, we dated for three months, | 是真的 我们约会了3个月 |
| [11:03] | and then, um… | 然后… |
| [11:05] | one day I showed up | 有一天我去找她 |
| [11:06] | and she couldn’t remember who I was. | 她想不起来我是谁 |
| [11:08] | So we dated another two months. | 然后我们又约会了两个月 |
| [11:10] | And, um… | 然后… |
| [11:12] | every day was new again | 每天都是全新的一天 |
| [11:13] | until finally I got tired of introducing myself. | 直到最后我都厌倦了做自我介绍 |
| [11:17] | But then six months later, | 但是6个月后 |
| [11:19] | she sent me a ten-dollar check on my birthday. | 她寄给我一张10块钱的支票做生日礼物 |
| [11:23] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [11:26] | Jake? | 杰克 |
| [11:30] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么回来了 |
| [11:32] | I got a weekend pass, | 我这周末可以外出 |
| [11:33] | so I took a train in to surprise you guys. | 就坐火车回来给你们一个惊喜 |
| [11:35] | Hi, soldier! | 嗨 大兵哥 |
| [11:36] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [11:37] | You must be Jake. | 你一定是杰克吧 |
| [11:38] | I’m sleeping in your room. | 我睡在你的房里 |
| [11:40] | Well, God bless America. | 天佑美国啊 |
| [11:55] | It is so nice to meet you. I’m Missi. | 很高兴见到你 我叫密西 |
| [11:57] | Short for Mississippi, not Melissa. | 是密西西比的简称 不是密丽莎 |
| [11:58] | She got stung by a jellyfish and peed-on. | 她被水母蜇过 又被淋尿 |
| [12:01] | Thank you. | 多谢 |
| [12:03] | Are you, like, one of those Navy seal guys? | 你是海豹特种部队的吗 |
| [12:05] | They are so awesome. | 他们真是酷毙了 |
| [12:06] | No, I’m just a cook. | 不 我只是个厨师 |
| [12:08] | Well, that’s cool, too. | 那也挺酷的 |
| [12:09] | Without food, everybody dies. | 没有饭吃 谁都得死 |
| [12:11] | – That’s so… – This one time, | -那真是… -有一次 |
| [12:12] | I found this little baby bird that fell out of a tree | 我发现一只从树上摔下来的鸟 |
| [12:14] | and landed in my backyard and he was almost dead. | 摔在了我家后院里 奄奄一息 |
| [12:16] | So I started feeding him with this little eyedropper full of warm milk. | 我就用滴眼药器装满牛奶喂它 |
| [12:19] | “Eat little bird, eat little bird.” | “快吃吧小鸟 快吃吧小鸟” |
| [12:21] | And eat he did. Within a week, | 它还真吃了 一周后 |
| [12:22] | I was chewing up crackers and spitting ’em right in his mouth. | 就复原到可以吃我嚼碎的饼干了 |
| [12:25] | And when he finally had enough strength to fly on his own, | 它最终吃饱喝足有劲飞了 |
| [12:27] | I opened up that box and set him free. | 我把盒子打开 将它放生了 |
| [12:29] | – No kidding. – It was one of the | -开玩笑吧 -那是我见过的 |
| [12:30] | most beautiful things I had ever seen. | 最美丽的情景之一 |
| [12:33] | But he got about ten feet up in the air | 但它刚飞到10英尺高 |
| [12:34] | before my cat launched himself off that picnic table | 我家猫就从野餐桌上腾空而起 |
| [12:37] | and caught him right in midair. | 在半空中将它逮个正着 |
| [12:38] | I mean, he didn’t even have to chew– | 它连嚼都不用嚼 |
| [12:39] | just one gulp and that bird was gone. | 使劲一吞 那小鸟就没影了 |
| [12:41] | But… I didn’t have to feed Mr. Mittens that day. | 好处就是我那天就不用喂他了 |
| [12:43] | So I know how important food is. | 所以我知道食物有多重要 |
| [12:47] | Thanks. Uh, if you’re hungry, | 谢谢 如果你饿了 |
| [12:48] | – I could… – I would love something to eat! | -我可以… -我正想吃东西呢 |
| [12:50] | Oh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [12:54] | All right, well, uh… | 好吧 那个… |
| [12:55] | welcome back! | 欢迎回家 |
| [12:57] | Good catching up. | 叙旧真愉快 |
| [13:00] | That was like being there the first time Beavis met Butthead. | 刚就像亲身经历瘪四和大头蛋初次见面的场景 |
| [13:04] | Wait till Beavis sees Butthead in a bikini. | 等瘪四见到大头蛋穿比基尼再说吧 |
| [13:07] | God. | 老天 |
| [13:08] | You remember falling that hard and fast for a girl? | 记得以前年少轻狂 火速坠入爱河吗 |
| [13:11] | I remember the fast part. | 我只记得火速”完事”的部分 |
| [13:13] | Kind of a relief those days are behind us, huh? | 那些日子一去不返也算是松一口气啊 |
| [13:16] | Behind you. | 对你来说一去不返而已 |
| [13:17] | These are my days. | 我正年少轻狂着呢 |
| [13:19] | – Oh, no, I wasn’t saying… – No, I am young, Alan. | -不 我不是说 -不 我年轻的很 艾伦 |
| [13:22] | I am young! | 我很年轻的 |
| [13:23] | Fine, fine, you’re young. | 行吧行吧 你很年轻 |
| [13:25] | Where you going? | 你去哪 |
| [13:27] | I don’t remember. | 我不记得了 |
| [13:35] | Kid makes good chili. | 小家伙做的辣酱不错 |
| [13:36] | Glad you like it. | 你喜欢真是太好了 |
| [13:38] | We have enough… | 存货够吃 |
| [13:39] | for a month. | 一个月 |
| [13:43] | Why? | 怎么做了这么多 |
| [13:44] | The recipe was for a platoon, | 配方的量是给一个排的 |
| [13:45] | and math is not his strong suit. | 而数学不是他的强项 |
| [13:49] | Where’d he take “Oh, my God, this place is beautiful. | 他把”我的天 这地方太美了 |
| [13:51] | Does that ocean go all the way to Hawaii? I love Hawaii. | 这片海洋一直通到夏威夷吗 我爱夏威夷 |
| [13:54] | You know ‘aloha’ means ‘hello’ and ‘good-bye'”? | 阿洛哈是”你好”也是”再见”哦”去哪了 |
| [13:57] | They went for a walk on the beach, | 他们去海滩上散步了 |
| [13:59] | which, you know, has more grains of sand | 你知道吗 沙滩上的沙 |
| [14:00] | than there are stars in the entire Milky Way. | 多过整个银河系的星星 |
| [14:02] | Speaking of which, do you like Snickers or Milky Way? | 说到这个 你喜欢士力架还是银河巧克力棒 |
| [14:04] | I like Three Musketeers. | 我喜欢”三个火枪手”牌的 |
| [14:06] | Even though I don’t know what nougat is. | 哪怕我根本不知道牛轧糖是什么意思 |
| [14:13] | Hey, what you doing? | 你干嘛呢 |
| [14:14] | Missi and I are hanging out on the beach. | 密西和我在沙滩上玩 |
| [14:15] | Am I gonna see you at all while you’re home? | 你在家时能陪我待会儿吗 |
| [14:17] | Oh, uh-huh, yeah, sure. | 好 当然了 |
| [14:19] | You’re never gonna see him. | 他绝对不会陪你的 |
| [14:22] | Hey, Missi told me she’s trying to set you up with her mom. | 密西告诉我 她想撮合你和她妈妈 |
| [14:24] | How cool would that be? | 这真是太酷了 |
| [14:25] | If you married her mom and I married Missi, | 如果你娶了她妈 我娶了密西 |
| [14:27] | you’d be my stepdad. | 你就是我继父了 |
| [14:30] | Yeah, really cool. | 是啊 超酷 |
| [14:31] | All right. See you later, Dad. | 好啦 回见 爸 |
| [14:33] | And Dad. | 还有这个后爸 |
| [14:37] | You know, if they have kids, we’d be their grandpappies. | 如果他们有了孩子 我们就做爷爷了 |
| [14:44] | Well, to make a long story short, | 长话短说 |
| [14:46] | I ate all the wafers, | 我把所有的威化饼都吃了 |
| [14:47] | which is why you should never smoke pot before you go to church. | 所以在去教堂前不能抽大麻 |
| [14:50] | That’s funny. This one time, me and my friend… | 真搞笑 有次我和我朋友… |
| [14:52] | Do you want to hear a joke? | 你想听个笑话吗 |
| [14:55] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [14:56] | – What do gay horse eat? – What? | -同性恋马吃什么 -什么 |
| [14:57] | Haaaaay! | 吃草[双关同性恋的语气] |
| [15:00] | Can I ask you something? | 能问你件事吗 |
| [15:01] | Do you think I talk too much? | 你觉得我话太多了吗 |
| [15:03] | No, I love listening to you talk. | 不 我喜欢听你说话 |
| [15:05] | I mean, it’s funny. Normally… | 很有趣 通常… |
| [15:07] | You are just so sweet. | 你真是个小甜心 |
| [15:08] | I swear I could just eat you up, | 我发誓我可以一口吞下你 |
| [15:09] | but, you know, then I’d probably get a sugar rush, | 但吃你会害我糖分过高爽翻天 |
| [15:11] | ’cause you are just so sweet, | 因为你太甜了 |
| [15:12] | and if you think I talk a lot now, | 如果你现在觉得我话太多 |
| [15:13] | you should really hear me after I… | 那你应该听我说完… |
| [15:17] | Well, I am definitely gonna shut up now, | 我现在绝对会闭嘴 |
| [15:18] | ’cause you’re a really good kisser, | 因为你吻技太好了 |
| [15:19] | and the last thing I want to do is… | 我最不想做的事就是… |
| [15:27] | Look at you making breakfast. | 你居然在做早餐啊 |
| [15:29] | It’s what the army trains you to do | 你总是把上膛的枪弄掉地上时 |
| [15:30] | when you keep dropping a loaded gun. | 军队就会训练你做这个 |
| [15:33] | Here, have a cup of coffee. | 来 喝杯咖啡 |
| [15:34] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [15:35] | – You want to hear a joke? – Sure. | -想听个笑话吗 -当然 |
| [15:37] | What do gay horses eat? | 同性恋马吃什么 |
| [15:39] | Hay. | 草 |
| [15:52] | So, uh, when do you leave for the base? | 你什么时候回基地 |
| [15:55] | Oh, my train leaves at 4:00. | 火车是四点的 |
| [15:57] | I’ll give you a ride to the station. | 我送你去车站 |
| [15:59] | Thanks. | 多谢 |
| [16:00] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [16:00] | It’s the only time I’m gonna get to spend with you. | 送你去车站才能在车上和你说会儿话 |
| [16:02] | So, uh, how was sleeping on that couch last night? | 昨晚在沙发上睡得好吗 |
| [16:05] | Oh, you know, it was a little lumpy, but… | 不太平坦 不过 |
| [16:09] | better than sleeping with 60 guys | 总强过和60个男生睡一块儿 |
| [16:11] | coughing, farting, and getting all romantic with themselves. | 咳嗽 放屁 自己跟自己”找乐子” |
| [16:16] | Missi still sleeping? | 密西还在睡觉吗 |
| [16:17] | No, she’s in the shower. | 不 她在冲澡 |
| [16:23] | Oops. | 穿帮了 |
| [16:26] | No, it’s fine. | 没事 |
| [16:27] | Sh-She seems like a nice girl. | 她是个不错的女生 |
| [16:29] | You have no idea. | 她的好你不知道 |
| [16:32] | Well, if you’ll excuse me, | 我不陪你聊了 |
| [16:34] | I’m gonna take her some breakfast. | 我去给她送早餐 |
| [16:36] | As you can imagine, we worked up quite the appetite. | 你可以想象的到 我们有了相当好的胃口 |
| [16:40] | Right. | 是啊 |
| [16:43] | And… when I say “Worked up an appetite,” | 我说”有了相当好的胃口” |
| [16:45] | – you understand… – I got it, I got it. | -你明白是指… -明白 明白 |
| [16:51] | I really loved hanging out with you this weekend. | 这周末和你在一起很开心 |
| [16:55] | Cool. | 很好 |
| [16:57] | Uh… yeah. | 是的 |
| [16:59] | So, listen, I get another pass in, like, a month, | 听我说 我一个月后又有休假 |
| [17:01] | so maybe we can see each other then. | 我们到时再见可以吗 |
| [17:03] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [17:05] | Are… you feeling all right? | 你还好吗 |
| [17:07] | You’re awful quiet. | 你的话相当少啊 |
| [17:09] | Well, here’s the thing, Jake. | 事情是这样的 杰克 |
| [17:11] | Hang on, Dad! There’s a thing! | 等等 爸 有事情 |
| [17:14] | What’s the thing? | 什么事 |
| [17:16] | I sort of have a boyfriend. | 我算是有男朋友吧 |
| [17:18] | A boyfriend? | 男朋友 |
| [17:20] | Well, technically we broke up | 其实我们分手了 |
| [17:22] | because I was tired of him always putting his career ahead of me. | 因为我厌倦了他总是重视工作多过于我 |
| [17:24] | He’s a doctor. | 他是医生 |
| [17:25] | Well, not a real doctor, a glass doctor. | 不是真正的医生 是玻璃医生 |
| [17:28] | You know, like if you get a crack in your windshield, | 比如说你车上的挡风玻璃裂了 |
| [17:29] | he will come right to your driveway and fix it | 他会马上到你家车道上修理 |
| [17:31] | in less than half an hour, guaranteed. | 保证半小时内服务上门 |
| [17:33] | So… | 那么… |
| [17:33] | Anyway, he sent me this e-mail this morning | 总之 他今早发了邮件给我 |
| [17:35] | saying that he wants to try things again, but… | 说他想再续前缘 但是 |
| [17:38] | now I really like you. It’s just that… | 现在我真的很喜欢你 只是… |
| [17:41] | Zach and I have been together for, like, six months, | 扎克和我在一起有半年了 |
| [17:43] | and we even went to a wedding together. | 我们甚至一起出席过婚宴呢 |
| [17:45] | I can’t just throw that away. | 我不能把这段感情说扔就扔 |
| [17:48] | But, I thought you… | 但是 我以为你… |
| [17:51] | Good-bye, Jake. | 再见 杰克 |
| [17:55] | Don’t be a hero. | 别逞强做英雄哦 |
| [18:03] | What the hell just happened? | 这他娘的是咋回事 |
| [18:16] | You and Missi make plans to see each other again? | 你和密西有约好再见面吗 |
| [18:18] | No. | 没 |
| [18:20] | Why? I-I thought you two were, uh… | 为什么 我以为你们两个… |
| [18:22] | I thought so, too. | 我也这样以为 |
| [18:29] | If it helps… | 如果能让你好过些 |
| [18:29] | It doesn’t. | 不会的 |
| [18:33] | Okay. Okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [18:38] | I remember my first… | 我记得我第一次… |
| [18:38] | Dad. | 爸 |
| [18:40] | Gotcha. | 我不多嘴了 |
| [18:47] | Does it get any easier? | 以后会感觉好些吗 |
| [18:48] | Oh, God, no. | 老天 不会 |
| [18:50] | But… the human mind is a wonderful thing. | 但是 人脑是个很奇妙的东西 |
| [18:53] | It forgets pain, so you can… | 会忘记伤痛 所以你可以 |
| [18:55] | go out and get some more. | 再出去承受更多的伤痛 |
| [18:59] | She has a boyfriend back home. | 她在老家有个男朋友 |
| [19:00] | A doctor. | 是个医生 |
| [19:04] | How am I supposed to compete with that? | 我怎么能和那样的人竞争啊 |
| [19:06] | Let me ask you something, Jake. | 问你件事 杰克 |
| [19:08] | Knowing what you know now, | 知道了现实的残酷 |
| [19:10] | and feeling how you feel now, | 感受到了心碎的感觉 |
| [19:12] | would you have done anything differently? | 你会想改变之前的做法吗 |
| [19:15] | No. | 不会 |
| [19:17] | I just would’ve done it a few more times. | 我只是会多”做”几次 |
| [19:20] | There you go. | 这就对了 |
| [19:22] | That’s what love’s all about. | 这就是爱情的真谛 |
| [19:29] | So, I just got off the phone with my mom. | 我刚和我妈通完电话 |
| [19:31] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
| [19:32] | She’s really looking forward to hearing from you. | 她非常期待听到你的回音 |
| [19:36] | Gee, I-I don’t know, Missi. | 我真不知道怎么说 密西 |
| [19:38] | I’m… I’m not sure it’s a good idea. | 我不太确定这是个好主意 |
| [19:40] | I mean, I know your mom and dad aren’t together anymore, | 我知道你爸妈分开了 |
| [19:43] | but your dad’s an old friend and… | 但你爸是我的老朋友 |
| [19:45] | Here’s a recent picture of her. | 这是她的近照 |
| [19:51] | Then again, I haven’t seen him in years. | 但话说回来 我和你爸多年未见了 |
| [19:54] | Great. I’ll go tell her that you’re gonna call. | 很好 我告诉我妈你会打给她 |
| [19:57] | Hey, wait. Wait a second. I… | 等等 等一下 我… |
| [19:58] | Yeah? | 什么事 |
| [20:00] | I’m flattered that you think I’d be good for your mom, | 我很荣幸你觉得我很适合你妈妈 |
| [20:04] | but I was just curious | 我只是很好奇 |
| [20:07] | at any point in time, did you think that… | 你可曾想过… |
| [20:10] | maybe you and me…? | 也许你和我 |
| [20:12] | Ew. | 恶心 |
| [20:19] | A simple “no” would suffice. | 说个”不”就行了嘛 |