| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | I’m talking about making a long-term commitment to each other. | 我是说对彼此许下一辈子的承诺 |
| [00:05] | You mean like marriage? | 啥意思 结婚吗 |
| [00:06] | I just don’t understand why we can’t | 我就是不能理解 |
| [00:07] | keep things the way they are. | 我们现在这样不好吗 |
| [00:09] | You mean living day-to-day, | 你是说 每天混日子吗 |
| [00:10] | never knowing what kind of future you have | 永远不知道你已经相处了3年的人 |
| [00:12] | with the person you’ve been in a relationship with the past three years? | 将会和你有什么结果吗 |
| [00:15] | Okay, I-I prefer to think of it as cherishing each day– | 我宁愿称之为珍惜每一天 |
| [00:18] | nay, each moment– with the woman I love | 每一刻 与我爱的女人在一起 |
| [00:21] | because it-it could all disappear in-in the blink of an eye. | 因为很可能眨个眼 彼此就挂了呢 |
| [00:24] | You mean like this? | 这么”挂”吗 |
| [00:27] | How was your day? | 你今天过得如何 |
| [00:28] | I’m pretty sure Lyndsey and I broke up. | 我很确定我和琳赛闹掰了 |
| [00:30] | I really like Lyndsey. I thought she was great. | 我真的蛮喜欢琳赛的 我觉得她不错 |
| [00:31] | She is great. | 她是不错 |
| [00:32] | But I’m not gonna be bullied into spending the rest | 但我不能因为这样 |
| [00:34] | of my life with somebody just ’cause they’re great. | 就听她威胁 牺牲自己的下半辈子 |
| [00:38] | – Alan. – We need to talk. | -艾伦 -我们得谈谈 |
| [00:39] | Go ahead. | 说吧 |
| [00:40] | I-I want to be with you forever. | 我想永远和你在一起 |
| [00:43] | That’s all I ever wanted to hear. | 我就想听到这句 |
| [00:45] | I love you, Lyndsey, | 我爱你 琳赛 |
| [00:46] | and as soon as I can save enough money, | 只要我存够钱 |
| [00:49] | I’m gonna… | 我就会 |
| [00:51] | put a deposit down on an engagement ring. | 去付订婚戒指的定金 |
| [00:54] | You don’t have to buy me some dumb ring. | 你不用给我买什么破戒指 |
| [00:56] | That’s all I ever wanted to hear. | 我就想听到这句 |
| [01:03] | Oh! Oh, hey, Jake. | 你好啊 杰克 |
| [01:04] | – Hey, Dad. – What’s going on? | -老爸 -怎么啦 |
| [01:06] | Oh, I’ve got good news. I’ve got a girlfriend. | 我有个好消息 我有新女朋友啦 |
| [01:08] | Oh, oh, that’s great. | 那很好啊 |
| [01:10] | And it gets better. | 还有更好的消息 |
| [01:11] | She gave me the clap. | 她传染了淋病给我 |
| [01:14] | Wait, wait, how’s that better? | 等等 这算是哪门子好消息 |
| [01:16] | It’s a sexually transmitted disease, Dad. | 这是性交传染的疾病呢 老爸 |
| [01:21] | Sexually transmitted. | 性交传染 |
| [01:24] | Disease. | 的疾病啊 |
| [01:27] | Yeah. So you get it. | 你懂我意思啊 |
| [01:29] | And now everybody knows that I’m getting it. | 现在大家都知道我有了 |
| [01:32] | Wait. Wait, y-you’re telling people? | 等等 你还宣传这事啊 |
| [01:34] | No, I don’t have to, ’cause I scream when I pee. | 我没宣传啊 我一尿尿就嘶吼[会有灼烧感] |
| [01:39] | I’m literally speechless, Jake. | 我无话可说了 杰克 |
| [01:42] | Hey, Walden! | 沃顿 |
| [01:43] | Oh, hey, Jake. | 杰克 |
| [01:45] | I got the clap! | 我染上淋病了 |
| [01:51] | Uh… congratulations. | 恭… 恭喜啊 |
| [01:53] | Thanks, man. | 谢啦 |
| [01:54] | All right, gotta run, Dad. I’ll talk to you later. | 好啦 老爸 我得走了 之后聊 |
| [01:56] | I’m going to SeaWorld with my girlfriend and her three kids. | 我要跟我女朋友以及她三个孩子去海洋世界 |
| [02:01] | It’s too bad antibiotics can’t cure stupidity. | 抗生素不能治脑残 我很遗憾 |
| [02:04] | Hey, that’s my son you’re… | 喂 你说的是我儿… |
| [02:06] | eh, you’re right. | 你说得也没错 |
| [02:11] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [02:12] | I just got an E-mail from my ex-wife. | 收到我前妻的电邮 |
| [02:15] | She wants to meet me for coffee. | 她想约我喝杯咖啡 |
| [02:17] | Judith? | 朱迪丝 |
| [02:18] | Oh, no, no, m-my second wife. | 不是啦 是我第二任前期 |
| [02:20] | You got two women to marry you? | 居然会有两个女人愿意嫁给你啊 |
| [02:23] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:24] | I had to get the taste of Judith out of my mouth. | 我当时想换口味 摆脱朱迪丝 |
| [02:28] | How come you never told me about the second one? | 你怎么从没跟我说过你第二任妻子啊 |
| [02:30] | Ah, there wasn’t much to tell. | 没什么好说的啊 |
| [02:31] | I mean, we got married in Vegas, | 我们在赌城结了婚 |
| [02:32] | won a half a million dollar jackpot, | 赢了五十万美元的大奖 |
| [02:34] | she dumped me, took the money, | 她甩了我 卷款而去 |
| [02:35] | and moved to New York and became a TV star. | 搬到纽约然后变成了电视明星 |
| [02:38] | This might be the first interesting story you’ve ever told. | 这是你第一个告诉我的有趣故事 |
| [02:43] | Was she really a TV star? | 她真的是电视明星吗 |
| [02:44] | Yeah, she’s on that cop show Stiffs. | 她在那个”僵尸探长”节目呢 |
| [02:48] | “If you’re not one of the suspects, | “你如果不是疑犯之一 |
| [02:49] | you’re one of the Stiffs.” | 那你就是尸体之一” |
| [02:51] | I love that show. | 我超爱看那节目 |
| [02:53] | Who does she play? | 她是里面的谁啊 |
| [02:55] | Detective Jane Risotto. | 简·意饭探长 |
| [02:58] | Wait a minute! | 等等 |
| [03:00] | You were married to tough-talkin’, smooth-walkin’, | 你娶过硬汉嘴 美女身 |
| [03:02] | pistol-packin’ Jane Risotto? | 裤头上面挂把枪的简·意饭啊 |
| [03:05] | Guilty. | 我认罪 |
| [03:06] | Guilty of being with the hottest woman on Earth. | 认了与世界上最性感女人厮混过的罪吧 |
| [03:08] | I-I know. | 是啦 是啦 |
| [03:09] | Hold on… | 等等 |
| [03:10] | – Wait, her? – Yes. | -是她吗 -没错 |
| [03:13] | You? | 就你 |
| [03:15] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [03:17] | No… | 不可能 |
| [03:19] | – Yes. – No! | -是真的 -我不信 |
| [03:21] | And you wonder why I didn’t tell you about this. | 知道我为什么不跟你说了吧 |
| [03:25] | No! | 不可能 |
| [03:26] | Yes! | 就是的 |
| [03:29] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不可能的 |
| [04:09] | Kandi, over here. | 坎蒂 这边 |
| [04:10] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [04:12] | Look at you. You look terrific. | 瞧你 看起来很不错哦 |
| [04:14] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [04:15] | And you look… Wow. | 你看起来也… 哇 |
| [04:18] | That-that dress fits you like a… | 那件洋装就像… |
| [04:20] | spray-on tan. | 皮肤一样”合身”啊 |
| [04:23] | It’s so good to see you. | 再见到你真好 |
| [04:25] | Well, you, too. So, uh, what are you doing here? | 是啊 你怎么会来这里呢 |
| [04:28] | Meeting you for coffee. Duh. | 来找你喝咖啡啊 小笨蛋 |
| [04:31] | Uh, n-no, I meant what are you doing here in L.A.? | 我是说 你来洛杉矶做什么呢 |
| [04:34] | Oh. I’m in the new James Cameron movie. Oh! | 我要在詹姆斯·卡梅隆的新电影亮相哦 |
| [04:37] | I’m gonna be in 3-D. | 我会变成3D的哦 |
| [04:38] | You’ll certainly pop right off the screen. | 肯定会”爆”出屏幕啊 |
| [04:41] | Pop, pop. | 爆 爆 |
| [04:44] | Thanks. | 谢啦 |
| [04:45] | So, what’s up with you? How’s Jake? | 你近来如何啊 杰克好吗 |
| [04:47] | Oh, good. Uh, he’s in the army. | 很好啊 他参军了 |
| [04:49] | – Wow! – Yeah. | -想不到啊 -是啊 |
| [04:51] | Which one? | 哪国军队 |
| [04:55] | – Um… ours. – Oh, phew. | -我国 -那就好 |
| [04:59] | So, look at you, Little Miss Hollywood. | 瞧你啊 成了好莱坞大碗 |
| [05:01] | Oh, please, I haven’t changed at all. | 别这么说 我还是当初的那小姑娘呢 |
| [05:03] | I’d like a nonfat, decaf latte with just a whisper of foam. | 给我来一个脱脂脱因拿铁 少许泡沫便可 |
| [05:07] | Um, Kandi, he doesn’t work here. | 坎蒂 他不是店员啊 |
| [05:11] | – Is that a problem? – Nope. | -不行吗 -没问题 |
| [05:17] | So, did you ever get remarried? | 你后来有再娶吗 |
| [05:20] | Oh, oh, no, but, uh… but I do have a lovely girlfriend. | 没有没有 但我有个很相爱的女友 |
| [05:25] | Good for you. | 恭喜你啊 |
| [05:26] | Thanks. So, how about you? You seeing anyone? | 谢谢 你呢 有对象吗 |
| [05:29] | No. Most guys just want a piece of Detective Jane Risotto. | 没 大多数男人都只是想染指简·意饭探长 |
| [05:35] | Well, as pieces go, that’s a good one. | 想染指也是无可厚非嘛 |
| [05:37] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [05:39] | I never told you this, | 我从没跟你说过 |
| [05:40] | but you’re the best lover I ever had. | 但你是我最棒的爱人 |
| [05:43] | Oh, oh, geez, uh… I don’t know what to say. | 是吗 我受宠若惊啊 |
| [05:46] | Uh, but, you know, I certainly gave it 110% every time. | 但我的确都是110%的”努力付出” |
| [05:52] | Imagine if you had given it your all. | 那你要是”百分百”付出还得了 |
| [05:58] | I’m sorry, you’re in a relationship. | 抱歉 你都有对象了 |
| [06:00] | We shouldn’t even be talking about this stuff. | 我不应该跟你说这种话的 |
| [06:02] | That’s right. It’s just not appropriate. | 是啊 是有点不太恰当 |
| [06:03] | So, um… so, didn’t you date Derek Jeter for a while? | 那你… 你不是跟德瑞克·基特约会过吗 |
| [06:07] | I did. | 对的 |
| [06:19] | Hi! What are you doing here? | 你怎么来了 |
| [06:21] | Well, something weird just happened, | 发生了一件怪事 |
| [06:22] | and I wanted to talk to you about it. | 我想来跟你谈谈 |
| [06:24] | You okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [06:25] | Oh, oh, yeah, everything’s fine. | 没事 我没什么事 |
| [06:26] | It’s just, uh… | 只是… |
| [06:28] | Uh, well, come here, sit down. | 过来坐下吧 |
| [06:30] | What’s going on? | 怎么啦 |
| [06:32] | Uh, well, okay, here’s the deal. I… | 事情是这样的 我… |
| [06:34] | I just… met my ex-wife for coffee and she… | 我跟我前妻去喝了杯咖啡 |
| [06:38] | got a little flirtatious with me, | 她试图对我调了情 |
| [06:39] | and it kind of freaked me out. | 有点把我吓到了 |
| [06:41] | Wait, Judith got flirtatious with you? | 朱迪丝跟你调情吗 |
| [06:44] | Oh, oh, no, it wasn’t Judith. | 不是 不是朱迪丝 |
| [06:45] | It was the hot one? | 性感的那个吗 |
| [06:47] | Okay, I don’t think Judith would appreciate that, but, uh… | 朱迪丝听到这话应该不会高兴 |
| [06:51] | but, yes, I-it was the-the hot one. | 但没错 是性感的那个 |
| [06:53] | What do you mean she was flirtatious? | 那你说她调情是什么意思 |
| [06:56] | Oh, oh, the details are unimportant. | 细节不重要啦 |
| [06:57] | I mean, she said I was better in bed than Derek Jeter, | 反正就说我床上比基特还猛之类的 |
| [07:00] | but whatever, um… | 随便啦 |
| [07:01] | Wait a second, you want me to believe | 等等 你是要我相信 |
| [07:03] | that one of the sexiest women in the world hit on you | 世界上最性感的女人之一挑逗你 |
| [07:05] | and you turned her down? | 然后你拒绝了人家吗 |
| [07:07] | Well, yes, yes, I-I did. | 是啊 我拒绝了她 |
| [07:08] | I-I told Kandi that I am in a committed relationship | 我对坎蒂说我有一段认真的感情 |
| [07:11] | with a woman that I-I truly love, | 我十分深爱我的伴侣 |
| [07:13] | and-and I just wanted to tell you | 那我现在告诉你 |
| [07:15] | because I don’t want us to have any secrets. | 只是希望我们之间没有秘密 |
| [07:18] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [07:18] | Yeah. I don’t need a young, rich, gorgeous movie star | 我不需要一个年轻 多金 貌美 |
| [07:22] | with flawless skin and a great body. | 皮肤无暇 身材火辣的电影明星 |
| [07:24] | I have you. | 我有你了嘛 |
| [07:29] | Okay, l-let me try that again. | 让我再重新说一遍 |
| [07:38] | Oh, hey, you should take tomorrow off. | 你明天休一天假吧 |
| [07:40] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [07:41] | It’s your birthday. | 你生日嘛 |
| [07:42] | Nobody should have to work on their birthday. | 没有人应该在生日当天还工作 |
| [07:44] | Who the hell told you it was my birthday? | 谁告诉你我生日日期的 |
| [07:46] | You did, when we put you on my company health plan. | 你啊 帮你弄的健保时 你说的 |
| [07:48] | Damn it, I should’ve just lived with that hernia. | 靠 早知道我就忍着那疝气了 |
| [07:52] | Come on, birthdays are terrific. It’s… | 别这样 生日很棒的啊 |
| [07:54] | all your loved ones celebrating how great you are. | 所有你爱的人庆祝你的好 |
| [07:58] | It’s like Christmas, except you’re the savior of the world. | 就像圣诞节一样 但生日那天你才是救世主 |
| [08:01] | Sounds good, | 乍听不错 |
| [08:02] | but all my loved ones are in jail, rehab, or dead. | 但我爱的人都在监狱 勒戒所 或坟里 |
| [08:06] | I can’t think of anything I’m less interested in than my birthday. | 没有比我生日更让我无趣的事情了 |
| [08:11] | Boy, do I have a story for you. | 我有个事要告诉你们 |
| [08:12] | I stand corrected. | 我错了 更无趣的在这 |
| [08:16] | What’s going on? | 怎么样 |
| [08:16] | So, I go meet Kandi for coffee. | 我跟坎蒂喝了杯咖啡 |
| [08:18] | Yeah. It turns out she wants me. | 结果发现她是想上我 |
| [08:21] | – No. – Yeah. | -不是吧 -是的 |
| [08:22] | – No! – Oh, yeah. | -不可能 -千真万确 |
| [08:24] | So did you? | 先”干”为敬了吗 |
| [08:24] | – No. – No?! | -没 -没有吗 |
| [08:25] | Yes! | 有 |
| [08:27] | Uh, hold on, I’m lost. | 等等 我绕晕了 |
| [08:29] | So, when I tell Lyndsey | 我后来去告诉琳赛 |
| [08:30] | that I turned down Kandi because of her, | 我为了她而拒绝了坎蒂 |
| [08:32] | Lyndsey bangs my brains out. | 琳赛跟我激情了数百回合啊 |
| [08:35] | In the middle of the day. | 还是大白天呢 |
| [08:36] | She could see everything and she kept going. | 她看得到我这副样子 还欲罢不能呢 |
| [08:39] | – No! – Yes! But let’s not get caught in this loop again. | -不是吧 -是的 但我们别再绕了 |
| [08:42] | I-I mean, all my life, | 我想说 我这辈子 |
| [08:43] | I’ve had to lie to women to have fantastic sex. | 一直在骗女人 只求她们跟我激情大战 |
| [08:45] | Turns out, all I had to do was be honest. | 现在才发现 原来只需说实话 |
| [08:48] | It’s almost ridiculous in its simplicity. | 真是简单到好可笑啊 |
| [08:50] | From now on, I’m just gonna be totally honest with women. | 从今往后 我只会对女人说实话 |
| [08:53] | Well, until they catch on to that scam. | 直到她们发现你这招的那天 |
| [08:55] | Exactly. Then it’s back to Alan Harper, astronaut. | 没错 那我再回到太空人艾伦·哈勃吧 |
| [09:11] | Hello? | 哪位 |
| [09:13] | Kandi? | 坎蒂 |
| [09:15] | Wait, wh-why are you crying? | 慢着 你怎么在哭 |
| [09:17] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. | 慢慢说 慢慢说 |
| [09:21] | Okay, not that slow. | 好 没必要这么慢 |
| [09:25] | How many drinks have you had? | 你喝了多少酒 |
| [09:29] | All right, “Schlebbin” is not a real number, | 好吧 “猴多”不是个数字 |
| [09:32] | but it sounds like it was a lot. | 不过听上去你喝得挺多 |
| [09:35] | Oh, n-no, no, d-don’t talk like that. | 不 不 别这么说 |
| [09:39] | You’ve got plenty to live for. | 很多人事物都需要你的啊 |
| [09:41] | All right, all right, d-don’t do anything stupid. | 好吧 好吧 别做傻事 |
| [09:43] | I-I’ll be right over. | 我马上过来 |
| [09:46] | This is the price I pay for being the best lover ever. | 身为最佳情人 真是无可奈何 |
| [09:55] | Where you going? | 你要去哪儿 |
| [09:56] | Oh, I, uh, got to take care of my drunk, hysterical ex-wife. | 去照顾那个醉气熏天 歇斯底里的前妻 |
| [10:00] | What are you doing up? | 你这么晚在干嘛 |
| [10:02] | Checking the stock market in London. | 看看伦敦的股市行情 |
| [10:06] | You’re watching porn, aren’t you? | 你在看黄片 是吧 |
| [10:09] | I have more than one window open, yes. | 我开了几个窗口 是的 |
| [10:14] | Okay, I’ll see you. | 好吧 回见 |
| [10:15] | Wait, hey, you-you want me to come with you? | 等等 你要我跟你一起去吗 |
| [10:18] | Oh, no, no, I think I can handle it. | 不用 不用 我想我应付得来 |
| [10:20] | You think you might get laid. | 你是在想自己能打一炮吧 |
| [10:23] | I have more than one window open, yes. | 是 我也有不少”机会”窗口嘛 |
| [10:38] | It’s open. | 门没锁 |
| [10:42] | Kandi? | 坎蒂 |
| [10:46] | Are-are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [10:47] | I am now that you’re here. | 把你拐过来啦 |
| [10:50] | Wait a minute, wh-what’s going on? | 慢着 到底怎么回事 |
| [10:52] | On the phone, | 电话里 |
| [10:53] | you were drunk and practically suicidal. | 你醉醺醺的还想寻短见 |
| [10:55] | I was acting. | 我在演戏嘛 |
| [10:59] | A-Acting? | 演戏 |
| [11:00] | Alan, you don’t get a People’s Choice Award for nothing. | 艾伦 “人民选择奖”可不是白拿的 |
| [11:04] | So this whole thing was a setup just to get me over here? | 所以这一切都是圈套 就为把我引过来 |
| [11:07] | I’m used to getting what I want. | 我想要什么就要得到 |
| [11:09] | Well, uh, yeah, yeah, Kandi, | 是嘛 是嘛 坎蒂 |
| [11:12] | but I told you before, I-I have a girlfriend. | 但是我告诉过你 我有个女朋友 |
| [11:14] | And-and-and, oh, God, you smell good. | 还有 还有 老天啊 你真香 |
| [11:17] | Kind of, kind of like | 好像是 |
| [11:17] | a combination of pineapple and… | 什么混合香气 菠萝和… |
| [11:20] | hope. | 希望 |
| [11:23] | I have a couple of old friends here | 我这有两位老朋友 |
| [11:25] | who want to say hello! | 想跟你打声招呼 |
| [11:28] | Hello. | 你们好 |
| [11:29] | Hello. | 你们好 |
| [11:32] | Why don’t we continue this conversation in the bedroom? | 我们何不去卧室继续谈谈心 |
| [11:35] | Oh. Oh, Kandi, I… I-I can’t. | 坎蒂 我 我不可以 |
| [11:38] | Um, I, I mean, I mean, I can. | 我是说 我可以 |
| [11:40] | Parts of me already did, but, uh, I-I have to leave. | 我身体某部分已经答应了 但我得走了 |
| [11:44] | All right, fine. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [11:47] | You must really love her. | 你一定很爱她 |
| [11:49] | That’s the only explanation I can come up with. | 这是我能想到的唯一理由了 |
| [11:54] | Geez, the fact that you don’t want to sleep with me | 天哪 你不想跟我上床 |
| [11:57] | makes me want you even more. | 让我更想得到你了 |
| [11:59] | But if you did sleep with me, you’d be like all the others, | 但你要真跟我睡了 就跟其他人没区别 |
| [12:03] | and then I wouldn’t want to sleep with you. | 我也不想再跟你上床了 |
| [12:05] | So if you really don’t want to sleep with me, | 所以要是你真不想跟我上床 |
| [12:08] | you should sleep with me. | 你就应该跟我上床 |
| [12:10] | The scary part is that makes perfect sense. | 可怕的是 这还真有点道理 |
| [12:15] | Um, good-bye, Kandi. | 再见了 坎蒂 |
| [12:17] | Don’t forget me, Alan. | 别忘了我 艾伦 |
| [12:21] | As long as there’s a slow, soapy shower in the world, | 只要世界上慢慢洗的泡泡浴 |
| [12:23] | you will never be forgotten. | 你就永远不会被遗忘 |
| [12:31] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [12:33] | Oh, hey, how’d it go with Kandi last night? | 昨晚和坎蒂怎么样 |
| [12:35] | Horrible– she wanted to have sex with me. | 真糟糕 她想跟我上床 |
| [12:39] | Why do bad things happen to good people? | 为什么好人总要受尽磨难 |
| [12:42] | Bottom line is, | 让我懊恼的是 |
| [12:43] | I took the high road, and it sucks. | 我选了道德之路 却感觉糟透了 |
| [12:45] | That’s why it’s the road less traveled. | 这就是为什么那么多人绕道而行 |
| [12:47] | Hey, let me ask you a question. | 我来问你个问题 |
| [12:49] | Yes, they’re spectacular. | 是的 它们[胸]美不胜收 |
| [12:52] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [12:54] | Now, my question: | 我的问题是 |
| [12:55] | what do you usually do for Berta’s birthday? | 你通常怎么庆祝波塔的生日 |
| [12:57] | Oh, uh, well, my brother would stuff a card full of cash | 我哥哥通常会弄张生日贺卡塞满钱 |
| [13:00] | and then, after he passed out, | 后来他去世了 |
| [13:01] | I’d steam it open, take a few 20s, and sign it. | 我就把卡片拆开 抽走几张20美元再签字 |
| [13:06] | Yeah, I kind of get a feeling that | 是啊 我感觉好像没有人在 |
| [13:08] | she doesn’t have anybody doing anything special for her. | 精心为她准备什么 |
| [13:10] | Yeah, I don’t think she does. | 是啊 是没有 |
| [13:13] | Let me know if you want to give her cash; I’ll buy the card. | 要是你想给她红包告诉我 我去买贺卡 |
| [13:20] | Hey, Lyndsey. | 喂 琳赛 |
| [13:22] | Whoa, whoa, c-c-calm down. | 慢点 慢点 冷静点 |
| [13:26] | Kandi’s hotel room? | 凯蒂的宾馆 |
| [13:28] | What, what makes you think I was there? | 你怎么会觉得我去过那儿 |
| [13:32] | Paparazzi photos on the Internet? | 网上狗仔队的偷拍照 |
| [13:34] | Uh, wow, that, that is just, that is crazy, Lyndsey. | 那真是 那纯属瞎扯 琳赛 |
| [13:37] | I, I, I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我 我 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [13:41] | Hmm, maybe it’s this. | 也许是在说这个 |
| [13:43] | Oh, crap. | 惨了 |
| [13:45] | Um, uh, well, all right, all right, all right, | 好吧 好吧 好吧 |
| [13:46] | I-I-I can explain that. | 听我解释 |
| [13:48] | Uh, uh, she, she called me at 2:00 in the morning, | 她 她凌晨2点打电话给我 |
| [13:50] | and I-I thought she was drunk and suicidal, | 我以为她喝醉了想自杀 |
| [13:51] | but it turns out she was just acting. | 可后来才知道她是在演戏 |
| [13:53] | Did you know she won a People’s Choice? | 你知道她得过”人民选择奖”吗 |
| [13:56] | B-B-But I swear nothing happened. | 不过我发誓 我们什么都没做 |
| [13:58] | This doesn’t look like nothing. | 这张看上去可不像什么都没做 |
| [14:03] | Uh, okay, okay, but, but, but what you can’t see | 好吧 好吧 但是你在照片中看不到 |
| [14:06] | in that picture is, is what I was thinking, | 我内心的想法 |
| [14:08] | and what I was thinking about was you, | 我当时心中想的是你 |
| [14:11] | the woman I lo… Hello? | 我深爱的女… 喂 |
| [14:14] | – Oh, man. – Mm-mm, I’m sorry, buddy. | -老天 -同情你 老兄 |
| [14:17] | Oh, look, you’ve been identified | 看啊 他们称你是 |
| [14:18] | as “Matthew Broderick’s father”” | “马修·布罗德里克的老爹” |
| [14:29] | There’s the birthday girl. | 瞧啊 寿星女孩儿 |
| [14:33] | I’m not in the mood, Walden. | 我没心情过生日 沃顿 |
| [14:35] | There is a ton of weed in this. | 这个的主要原料是大麻 |
| [14:38] | Happy birthday to me. | 祝我生日快乐 |
| [14:45] | These photos are all over the Internet. | 这些照片在网上疯传 |
| [14:46] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [14:48] | Oh, my boobs look good in this one. | 这张我的咪咪好漂亮 |
| [14:51] | Yeah, your boobs look good, your life is perfect, | 是 你的咪咪很漂亮 人生很完美 |
| [14:53] | and I’m going to die alone. | 而我却要孤独终老 |
| [14:54] | Oh, Alan, I’m so sorry. | 艾伦 真是对不起 |
| [14:56] | What can I do to help? | 有什么我能帮你的 |
| [14:57] | Talk to Lyndsey, tell her nothing happened. | 告诉琳赛 什么事都没有发生 |
| [15:00] | She won’t listen to me. | 她不想听我解释 |
| [15:01] | – Of course. – Thank you. | -好的 -谢谢 |
| [15:06] | It’s her voice mail. | 是留言信箱 |
| [15:08] | She sounds very pretty. | 听声音是个美女 |
| [15:10] | Just leave a message. | 留下口信吧 |
| [15:12] | Oh, hi, Lyndsey. | 你好 琳赛 |
| [15:14] | It’s Kandi, Alan’s ex-wife and TV’s Jane Risotto. | 我是坎蒂 艾伦的前妻兼电视角色简·意饭 |
| [15:17] | I’m here with Alan in my hotel room and… | 我和艾伦在我的酒店房间里 |
| [15:19] | – No. – What? | -不 -什么 |
| [15:21] | I’m not here. | 我不在 |
| [15:22] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [15:24] | Sorry, wrong number. | 抱歉 打错了 |
| [15:32] | So, basically, the search results | 所以基本上 |
| [15:35] | are processed through the neural back end, | 通过后端的搜索结果 |
| [15:38] | which allows us to serve ads | 允许我们基于趋势 |
| [15:40] | that are based on trends that are personalized for the user. | 为用户提供个性化广告 |
| [15:46] | Halfway through that, your head turned into a taco. | 听到一半 你的头就变成了玉米卷饼 |
| [15:56] | How cool is that? | 好酷啊 |
| [15:57] | A talking taco. | 会说话的玉米卷饼 |
| [16:01] | Talking taco, talking taco, | 会说话的玉米卷饼 会说话的玉米卷饼 |
| [16:03] | talking taco. | 会说话的玉米卷饼 |
| [16:05] | Oh, geez, I am really high. | 老天 我真是嗨高了 |
| [16:10] | There must have been a cat tranquilizer in that cupcake. | 那个纸杯蛋糕里肯定有猫类镇静剂 |
| [16:13] | Woof. | 汪汪 |
| [16:25] | I got to tell you, Walden, | 我得跟你说 沃顿 |
| [16:27] | I never thought that I could work for anybody but Charlie, | 我从没想过除了查理 我还会为其他人工作 |
| [16:31] | but | 但是 |
| [16:33] | you’re a good guy. | 你是个好人 |
| [16:35] | That means a lot. | 这句话意义太重大了 |
| [16:37] | And if truth be told, | 而且说实话 |
| [16:39] | I don’t even mind seeing Zippy every day. | 我甚至不介意每天见到废柴 |
| [16:45] | I must be higher than I thought. | 我肯定是比我想像得更嗨 |
| [16:54] | You know… | 知道吗 |
| [16:56] | when I met you, I was at a real low point, | 我认识你时 正处在人生的低谷 |
| [17:00] | but you and Alan | 但你和艾伦 |
| [17:02] | took care of me. | 照顾了我 |
| [17:04] | I got to say, other than my mother, | 我得说 除了我妈 |
| [17:07] | you’re the closest thing I have to a family. | 你是最接近我家人的人了 |
| [17:13] | I love you, Berta. | 我爱你 波塔 |
| [17:16] | You’re a sentimental little taco, aren’t you? | 你真是个多愁善感的玉米卷饼啊 |
| [17:27] | Hi, we need to talk. | 我们得谈谈 |
| [17:29] | Go ahead. | 说吧 |
| [17:30] | I know you’re really upset, but I promise, | 我知道你很生气 但我发誓 |
| [17:33] | nothing happened between me and Alan. | 我和艾伦什么事也没发生 |
| [17:34] | I saw the pictures. | 我看到了照片 |
| [17:36] | Pictures lie. | 照片不可信 |
| [17:37] | So do boyfriends. | 男朋友也一样 |
| [17:38] | But not Alan. | 但艾伦可信 |
| [17:40] | Did you really try to seduce him? | 你真的有色诱他吗 |
| [17:42] | I did, but he turned me down. | 我有 但他拒绝了 |
| [17:45] | I was as surprised as you are. | 我和你一样惊讶 |
| [17:49] | What about all that stuff about you enjoying sex | 那你的那段和艾伦上床 |
| [17:51] | with Alan more than with Derek Jeter? | 比跟德瑞克·基特上还爽是真是假 |
| [17:53] | Oh, honey, you know better than that. | 亲爱的 你应该心知肚明吧 |
| [18:00] | Hola, Berta. | 你好 波塔 |
| [18:02] | Feliz birthday-o. | 生日快乐哦 |
| [18:05] | Stop, you’re freaking me out. | 快停下 你吓死我了 |
| [18:11] | Okay, all right, I’m gonna call a cab. | 好了 我要叫计程车 |
| [18:13] | I’m too stoned to drive. | 太嗨了没法开车 |
| [18:19] | I may be too stoned to call a cab. | 我可能嗨到不能叫计程车了 |
| [18:23] | What about your car? | 那你的车呢 |
| [18:25] | Oh, you know, just drive it to my house tomorrow. | 你明天开到我家吧 |
| [18:27] | I don’t know how to drive that thing. | 我不知道怎么开 |
| [18:30] | Oh, come on, it’s easy, I’ll show you. | 来吧 很简单 我告诉你 |
| [18:35] | Help me out here. | 帮我一下 |
| [18:37] | Where is your door? | 你家大门在哪里 |
| [18:43] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [18:46] | Sweet Georgia Brown, | 亲娘老子 |
| [18:48] | you’d better not be screwing with me. | 你最好别和我开玩笑 |
| [18:50] | Nope, you always said it was your dream car. | 没有 你总说这是你梦想的车 |
| [18:52] | Well, today your dreams come true. | 今天你的梦想成真了 |
| [18:55] | Come here, you big old talking taco. | 抱一下 你这个大个儿会说话的玉米卷饼 |
| [19:01] | Oh, oh, there’s one condition. | 有个条件 |
| [19:03] | Okay, you want to do it in the house | 好的 在屋里”做” |
| [19:04] | or on the hood of the car? | 还是引擎盖上 |
| [19:07] | No. | 不是 |
| [19:08] | Hey, Alan can never find out about this. | 这事绝对不能让艾伦知道 |
| [19:12] | Alan can never find out about this. | 这事绝对不能让艾伦知道 |
| [19:26] | Oh, that is great, honey. | 太好了 亲爱的 |
| [19:28] | Well, I-I will talk to you later. | 我们回头再聊 |
| [19:30] | Okay, okay, bye-bye. | 好的 拜拜 |
| [19:33] | Wow, Lyndsey’s in a better mood. | 琳赛心情大好啊 |
| [19:37] | It’s like her head is in a whole different place. | 好像完全转了个弯 |
| [19:42] | Uh, uh, it’s on. | 开始了 |
| [19:44] | If you’re not one of the suspects… | 你如果不是疑犯之一 |
| [19:46] | You’re one of the Stiffs. | 那你就是尸体之一 |
| [19:53] | God, she’s hot. | 老天 她好正点 |
| [19:55] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [19:56] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [20:00] | Excuse me, I’m gonna go check the stock market. | 失陪 我要去”看看股市” |
| [20:06] | Guess what Walden bought me for my birthday. | 猜猜沃顿送我的生日礼物是什么 |