| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Oh, incoming, three o’clock. | 三点钟方向 美女逼近 |
| [00:08] | If I were available, I’d be all over that. | 我要还单身 肯定立刻扑过去 |
| [00:11] | So being unavailable | 不单身 |
| [00:12] | is the only thing that’s stopping you? | 是唯一阻止你的理由吗 |
| [00:13] | Well, that and her obvious, but unvoiced contempt for me. | 还有她眼中明显的无声鄙视 |
| [00:19] | Why don’t you make a move? | 你怎么不去泡 |
| [00:21] | Aw, what’s the point? | 泡了干嘛 |
| [00:22] | Let’s say I start talking to her, and we hit it off. | 就算我真去泡了 然后两人好上 |
| [00:24] | And by “hit it off,” you mean | 你说的”好上” 是指 |
| [00:26] | hit it off. | 好好地”上”吧 |
| [00:30] | Hmm, more unvoiced contempt. Hmm. | 又是无声的鄙视啊 |
| [00:31] | I can voice it if you’d like. | 要有声的鄙视也行啊 |
| [00:33] | No, thanks. | 不用了 谢谢 |
| [00:36] | What do you think is gonna happen as soon as she finds out | 你觉得要是她知道了我的身家 |
| [00:38] | how much money I have in the bank? | 她会有何举动 |
| [00:39] | She’s gonna want you to make a deposit. | 她会想要给你存”精” |
| [00:43] | And there’s the problem. | 这就是问题所在啦 |
| [00:45] | I-I see no problem. | 完全看不出有何问题 |
| [00:47] | ‘Kay. It’s not me that she’d be interested in. | 问题就是 她喜欢的不会是我这个人 |
| [00:49] | It’s what I can do for her. It’s the lifestyle. | 而是我拥有的那些 我能提供她的物质 |
| [00:52] | So what? You still got laid. | 那又如何 还不都是打了炮 |
| [00:54] | Trust me, it gets old. | 相信我 你会腻的 |
| [00:56] | It’s like having a magic golf club: | 就像有一根魔法高球杆一样 |
| [00:57] | every time you take a shot, the ball just goes in the hole. | 你只要一挥杆 球就自动进洞 |
| [01:00] | Oh, yeah! Ker-plunk! | 爽啊 “球进洞” |
| [01:03] | Okay, apparently, you need a demonstration. | 看来不示范你是不会懂了 |
| [01:06] | And no more alcohol. | 还有 不许再喝了 |
| [01:09] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [01:11] | I’m Walden Schmidt. | 我是沃顿·施密特 |
| [01:13] | Hello. | 你好啊 |
| [01:15] | That’s “Schmidt,” S-C-H-M-I-D-T. | 是”S-C-H-M-I-D-T”拼法的施密特 |
| [01:17] | Uh, okay. It’s nice to meet you, Walden. | 好的 幸会啊 沃顿 |
| [01:20] | I’m Susan. S-U-S-A-N. | 我是苏珊 S-U-S-A-N |
| [01:25] | Can I buy you a drink, Susan? | 我能请你喝杯酒吗 苏珊 |
| [01:26] | No, thanks. I’m waiting for some friends. | 不用 谢了 我在等我朋友 |
| [01:29] | – No problem. – Excuse me. | -没问题 -失陪一下 |
| [01:31] | Hmm. There goe your theory. | 你的理论失效了吧 |
| [01:32] | You struck out! | 你被淘汰出局了 |
| [01:33] | Au contraire, mon frere. | 恕难同意啊 朋友 |
| [01:35] | Right now, she’s heading into the bathroom. | 她现在进了厕所 |
| [01:38] | What do you think she’s doing in there? | 你觉得她在里面干嘛 |
| [01:39] | Uh, I’m guessing tinkle. | 嘘嘘吧 |
| [01:41] | Girls poop at home. | 女生都在家大便 |
| [01:44] | No. She’s wondering, | 不 她正在好奇 |
| [01:45] | “Why did he spell his last name? | “他为什么要拼出自己的姓氏啊 |
| [01:48] | Maybe I should know who he is.” | 网上查查他是谁好了” |
| [01:49] | So, now, she’s taking out her phone and Googling me. | 然后她就拿出了手机 正在搜我是谁呢 |
| [01:52] | Oh, I tried that once,and I dropped my phone in the toilet. | 我也这么试过 结果不小心手机掉马桶了 |
| [01:54] | Fortunately, it was right after a courtesy flush. | 幸好是我拉到一半冲水后掉进去的 |
| [01:59] | The first hit on my name is the Forbes 500 Web site, | 第一个网站将会是福布斯500强网页 |
| [02:02] | at which point in time she finds out | 而很快她就会知道 |
| [02:03] | exactly how much money I make, | 我到底有多少身家 |
| [02:05] | she forgets to go to the bathroom, | 她就会忘了本来要嘘嘘的事 |
| [02:07] | along with everything she learned in Sunday school, | 然后连节操也统统都忘了 |
| [02:10] | slaps on some lipstick and comes back into the bar. | 然后擦上个口红就回到吧台来 |
| [02:15] | She probably unbuttons one button on her blouse… | 可能还顺便多解开一个上衣扣子 |
| [02:19] | and… | 然后… |
| [02:20] | You know what? | 其实呢 |
| [02:21] | I changed my mind about that drink. | 我改变主意了 |
| [02:24] | I still don’t see the problem. | 我还是没觉得这有啥不对啊 |
| [02:42] | Can’t believe you’re coming home with me instead of that girl. | 不敢相信你是跟我 而不是带那女的回家 |
| [02:44] | Not that I’m not flattered. | 我也是感到很荣幸啦 |
| [02:46] | And not that I’m not willing to do things. | 我也没有说我不愿意”牺牲” |
| [02:50] | Just because a woman wants to have sex with me, | 一个女人想跟我上床 |
| [02:51] | doesn’t mean I want to have sex with her. | 不代表我也想跟她上床吧 |
| [02:53] | Okay, I hear the words coming out of your mouth, | 我听到了你嘴里说出来的话 |
| [02:55] | I just don’t understand them. | 但我完全理解无能 |
| [02:57] | It’s like watching HBO in Spanish. | 就像在看西班牙文的电影台一样 |
| [03:00] | Well, look, call me crazy, but I am determined to find | 当我是疯子也罢 但我就是想找一个 |
| [03:02] | someone who wants to be with me for who I am, not what I have. | 爱我的人 而非爱我的钱的女人好吧 |
| [03:06] | Hola, bienvenidos a HBO en espanol. | 您好 欢迎收看西语版电影台[西语] |
| [03:11] | Come on. | 拜托 |
| [03:12] | I bet you have no doubt as to whether or not Lyndsey loves you. | 我敢肯定你完全不用担心琳赛是否真心爱你 |
| [03:15] | I would guess that’s true. | 我猜应该是吧 |
| [03:17] | You don’t have to guess. | 你哪需要猜啊 |
| [03:18] | You have no money, no house, no future, no… | 你没钱 没房 没未来 没… |
| [03:20] | Okay, okay! Talking past the sale. | 行行行 解释过头了吧 |
| [03:24] | But if you think my life is so great, be my guest. | 你要真觉得我这生活这么好 |
| [03:25] | – Take it. – What? | -你拿去啊 -什么 |
| [03:27] | Pretend to be me. I can’t tell you how many times | 扮成我好啦 我都算不清自己 |
| [03:29] | I’ve pretended to be you. | 假扮成你多少次了 |
| [03:30] | And-And not just you. | 还不止假扮你呢 |
| [03:31] | Uh, I’ve also pretended to be a thoracic surgeon | 我还假扮过胸腔手术医生 |
| [03:35] | uh… a movie producer, a stockbroker, | 电影制片人 股票经纪人 |
| [03:37] | and on one occasion, a hand model. | 有一次特殊情况 扮了手部模特 |
| [03:40] | A hand model? | 为什么是手部模特 |
| [03:41] | Blind girl. Long story, didn’t end well. | 盲女 故事很长 反正没好结局 |
| [03:44] | My point is, you can be whoever you want to be. | 我的意思是 你想假扮成谁都行啊 |
| [03:48] | Never thought about it like that. | 还真没想过这招呢 |
| [03:49] | Course not. | 你当然没想过 |
| [03:50] | Why would Superman want to be Clark Kent? | 超人哪会想当克拉克·肯特[变身前] |
| [03:53] | Okay. Know what? I’m gonna do this. | 好吧 那我就来这么做吧 |
| [03:56] | First thing I need to do is create | 首先 我要先在网上 |
| [03:58] | an online presence for my fictional self. | 替自己的假身建立个身份 |
| [04:01] | Mm. That’s good. I usually just throw ketchup | 这不错 我通常就只是拿 |
| [04:03] | on some scrubs and say I came from surgery. | 番茄酱撒自己身上 说自己刚做完手术 |
| [04:06] | Okay. Let’s start by creating a Facebook page. | 先建立个脸书主页吧 |
| [04:10] | Uh, all right, if I was a struggling, broke-ass guy, | 我是个穷困潦倒的废柴 |
| [04:13] | what would my name be? | 我会叫什么名字 |
| [04:14] | Oh, and keep in mind, Alan Harper’s already taken. | 记得 艾伦·哈勃这名字已经被人占了 |
| [04:18] | Ooh! H-How about Derek Slade? | 叫德瑞克·斯莱德呢 |
| [04:20] | Uh, that’s a little gay. | 感觉有点基 |
| [04:23] | Um… Preston Burbank? | 普乐斯顿·勃班克 |
| [04:25] | That’s just gay from a different decade. | 感觉就只是另一个时代的基佬名字 |
| [04:28] | Um… Joey Proccosini. | 乔伊·波卡西尼 |
| [04:31] | Sounds like the guy that made | 听起来像是逼普乐斯顿·勃班克 |
| [04:31] | Preston Burbank his prison bitch. | 当他牢里女人的家伙 |
| [04:35] | How about your porn name? | 那你的黄片艺名呢 |
| [04:38] | My porn name? | 什么我的黄片艺名 |
| [04:38] | You know, when you want to know what your name would be as a porn star | 想知道如果自己当黄片演员会叫什么艺名 |
| [04:41] | you use the name of your first pet, | 就用你第一个宠物的名称 |
| [04:43] | and the street you grew up on. | 再加你小时候家的街道名 |
| [04:45] | Unfortunately, I would be Rusty Knob. | 不幸的是 我的艺名会是”锈锈吉巴” |
| [04:48] | Mine would be Snowball Honeysuckle. | 我的会是 雪球吸蜜蜜 |
| [04:51] | That would be a great porn name | 如果迪士尼频道开始拍黄片 |
| [04:53] | if Disney Channel started making adult movies. | 你这艺名绝对超棒超适合啊 |
| [04:57] | No. It needs to be simple, | 不行 得简单寻常一点 |
| [04:58] | like something easy to believe. | 很容易让人相信那种 |
| [05:00] | John Doe. | 无名·氏 |
| [05:02] | No, it’s too simple. | 不 那个太简单了 |
| [05:03] | Bob Doe. | 鲍勃·氏 |
| [05:04] | No. | 不要 |
| [05:06] | It’s got to be, like, right down the middle. | 必需得够路人 |
| [05:08] | You know, like… Sam. | 比如说 山姆 |
| [05:10] | Doe. | 氏 |
| [05:13] | Wilson. | 威尔森 |
| [05:14] | – Sam Wilson. – Really? | -山姆·威尔森 -用这个啊 |
| [05:17] | There’s got to be, like, a million Sam Wilsons. | 这名字肯定有数以百万人在用 |
| [05:19] | No, exactly. I-I can get lost in a crowd. | 就要这样 在茫茫人海中找不到我 |
| [05:21] | Somebody Googles me, they’ll get a butt-load of responses. | 如果有人上网搜我 她们会搜到一大堆结果 |
| [05:24] | Same thing happens if you Google “Rusty Knob.” | 这就跟你搜”锈锈吉巴”一样 |
| [05:28] | Just FYI: do not hit “Images.” | 给你点意见 千万别点”图片”这一项 |
| [05:30] | You won’t sleep for a week. | 你会吓得一周都睡不着觉 |
| [05:33] | Okay, Sam Wilson, let’s create your life. | 好了 山姆·威尔森 开始编造你的人生吧 |
| [05:37] | Male. | 男性 |
| [05:38] | Straight. | 异性恋 |
| [05:40] | Single. | 单身 |
| [05:42] | 1/8 Apache Indian. | 有八分之一阿帕切印第安人血统 |
| [05:45] | Mix it up a little. | 有点小混血嘛 |
| [05:51] | How have I never heard of this place? | 我怎么会从来没听说过这个地方呢 |
| [05:54] | I mean, where else can you buy pants, shoes, lettuce, | 这个地方不但能买到裤子鞋子 |
| [05:56] | and a garden weasel under one roof? | 还能买到莴苣和园艺工具 |
| [06:00] | It gets better. | 还有更棒的地方呢 |
| [06:00] | On your way out, you can get a flu shot | 在出口那可以打抗流感针 |
| [06:02] | and a set of tires at the same price. | 也可以买一套轮胎 价格都一样哦 |
| [06:04] | This is… all right, | 这也太…好吧 |
| [06:06] | what would a down-on-his-luck Sam Wilson wear? Oh! | 时运不济的山姆·威尔森会穿什么呢 |
| [06:08] | Maybe something fringed to reflect his Indian heritage. | 穿点带流苏的 好让人知道他有印第安血统 |
| [06:13] | He’s not joining the Village People. | 他又不是要加入村民乐团 |
| [06:16] | Wait, check this out! | 等等 看这个 |
| [06:18] | A dozen socks for $2.49. | 一打袜子只要2.49美刀 |
| [06:21] | That’s 20 cents a pair. That’s ten cents a sock! | 相当于一双袜子20美分 一只袜子10美分啊 |
| [06:24] | I’m so getting these. | 我一定要买这个 |
| [06:25] | But you don’t wear socks. | 但是你不穿袜子啊 |
| [06:27] | Well, at these prices I can’t afford not to. | 这么心动的价格 想不穿都不行 |
| [06:30] | All right, looks like you’re getting the hang of this place. | 好吧 看来你已经开始摸清这地方了 |
| [06:32] | So, if you’ll excuse me, | 那允许我失陪一下 |
| [06:33] | I have a dentist appointment on aisle 3. | 我要去3号过道看牙医啦 |
| [06:36] | Don’t forget to floss on aisle 2. | 别忘了去2号过道买牙线 |
| [06:41] | A leather jacket for $49.99? | 皮衣只需49.99美刀 |
| [06:44] | Come to Papa. | 快来爸爸怀抱 |
| [06:51] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [06:52] | Yeah, hang on. Let me just… | 别动 让我来 |
| [06:53] | The jacket’s on a leash. | 这皮衣被拴住了 |
| [06:56] | I’ll just unlock the security cable here. | 我把防盗索解开就行 |
| [06:58] | Okay, that’s better. | 好的 好多了 |
| [07:01] | That looks really good on you. | 你穿起来真好看 |
| [07:03] | I bet you’ve said that before. | 这话你肯定也对别人说过 |
| [07:04] | About 80 times a day, but… | 一天得说个80遍吧 但是… |
| [07:06] | this is the first time I’ve meant it. | 这是我第一次发自内心觉得好看 |
| [07:07] | Yeah, it’s nice, but I… | 真好 但我… |
| [07:10] | I probably shouldn’t. I mean, for the price of this jacket, | 可能不买 因为这皮衣的价格 |
| [07:12] | I can buy 240 pairs of socks. | 我都可以买240双袜子了 |
| [07:14] | And your Christmas shopping is done. | 那你的圣诞礼物一下子都买齐了 |
| [07:17] | Act surprised when you open them. | 当你拆礼物时 记得假装惊喜哦 |
| [07:19] | Yeah, actually, I need to buy a little bit of everything. | 老实说 我需要每样都买一点 |
| [07:22] | Okay, I can help you out with that. | 好 我可以帮你 |
| [07:24] | I appreciate it… Kate. | 谢谢你 凯特 |
| [07:26] | Not a problem. | 没问题 |
| [07:29] | Sam… Sam Wilson. | 我叫山姆 山姆·威尔森 |
| [07:31] | All right, Sam Wilson. | 好的 山姆·威尔森 |
| [07:34] | Um, how about we start with some… | 要不我们先从… |
| [07:35] | corduroy pants? | 灯芯绒裤子开始 |
| [07:38] | Eh, I’m not a big fan of corduroy. | 我不太喜欢灯芯绒 |
| [07:39] | They’re on sale, two for $19.99. | 在打折哦 两条只要19.99美刀 |
| [07:42] | People change. | 人是会变的 |
| [07:47] | Anyway, after it got ripped off on the barbed wire, | 总之那玩意被带刺铁丝网扯掉后 |
| [07:49] | we started calling him “One Nut Johnson.” | 我们就开始叫他”孤蛋侠棍棍” |
| [07:53] | Uh… that’s terrible. | 这也太可怜了吧 |
| [07:55] | Well, it could have been worse. | 还能更倒霉呢 |
| [07:57] | An inch to the right, | 如果再往右一英尺 |
| [07:58] | and he would have been “No Johnson Johnson.” | 他就要变成”无棍侠”了 |
| [08:01] | Um, uh, you know what? Why don’t we change the subject? | 不如我们换个话题吧 |
| [08:03] | So, um, how are things with your girlfriend? | 你跟你女朋友最近如何 |
| [08:06] | Pretty good. | 很好 |
| [08:07] | We’re finally gonna get some time alone this weekend. | 我们这周末终于有时间独处了 |
| [08:09] | Her kids are gonna stay with their dads. | 她的孩子各找各爹去了 |
| [08:12] | “Dads”? Plural? | “各找各爹” 不是同一个爹吗 |
| [08:14] | Yeah, well, before me, she picked some real losers. | 是啊 在我之前她遇到过几个真正的废柴 |
| [08:18] | Sure, sure. Um, so… | 那是那是 那.. |
| [08:21] | …so what’s it like, dating someone with kids? | 跟有孩子的人约会 感觉如何 |
| [08:23] | It’s tough. They’re pretty protective. | 很难 孩子的保护欲都很强 |
| [08:25] | I mean, I’m the guy dating their mom. | 我是那个要抢走他们妈妈的家伙 |
| [08:28] | Makes sense. | 也难怪 |
| [08:29] | But her oldest son’s pretty cool. | 但她最大的儿子挺酷的 |
| [08:30] | He buys me beer. | 他还请我喝啤酒呢 |
| [08:34] | How old is this woman? | 那女人有多大啊 |
| [08:35] | Back off, Dad. She’s taken. | 想都别想 老爸 她是我的 |
| [08:38] | No, no, I wasn’t… I’m… | 不不 我不是那个意思… |
| [08:40] | You know what? I’ll talk to you later. | 算了 晚点再聊 |
| [08:43] | – Okay. Bye, Dad. – Bye. | -好吧 再见 老爸 -再见 |
| [08:46] | Yeah… she picked a real winner this time. | 没错 她这次选了个”极品”啊 |
| [08:51] | Check it out. | 快看 |
| [09:00] | You look like me when I Photoshop my head | 你看起来就像我把自己的头 |
| [09:02] | on your body– I’ve never done that. | PS到你身上一样… 我没做过哦 |
| [09:05] | Head to toe, including undergarments: $32. | 从头到脚 包括内裤 一共32美刀 |
| [09:09] | Plus the haircut: $232. | 加上剪头发的200 一共232美刀 |
| [09:12] | Nice. | 很好 |
| [09:14] | Check this out. | 再看这个 |
| [09:17] | Velcro. Very classy. | 魔术贴钱包 真经典 |
| [09:19] | – It’s got a change pouch. – Ooh, you got the deluxe model. | -还有个放零钱的地方哦 -哇 你的是豪华版 |
| [09:22] | I still can’t believe we both went to the superstore, | 我还是不敢相信 你我同去一家大型超市 |
| [09:24] | you got a hot date | 你把到辣妹 |
| [09:25] | and I got a root canal on the wrong tooth. | 而我的根管治疗却弄错牙齿 |
| [09:28] | I didn’t get a date. Sam Wilson got a date. | 不是我把到妹子 是山姆把到妹子 |
| [09:32] | – You know what? Switch watches with me. – Why? | -把你的平价手表给我 -为什么 |
| [09:34] | ‘Cause Sam Wilson doesn’t have a $50,000 watch. | 因为山姆·威尔森不可能戴一个价值5万的贵货 |
| [09:37] | Ah, course. Here you go. | 当然 给你 |
| [09:40] | Casio? | 卡西欧的啊 |
| [09:42] | I had this watch in seventh grade! | 这种手表我七年级就有了 |
| [09:43] | So did I. | 我也是啊 |
| [09:46] | Okay… | 好了 |
| [09:47] | Oh, you know what? We should also switch cars. | 对了 我们也得交换一下车 |
| [09:50] | Yes! Yes. Oh, and you know what else we should do? | 对的对的 你知道我们还应该干嘛吗 |
| [09:52] | Uh, you should deposit all your money in my bank account. | 你应该把你所有的钱都存到我账户里来 |
| [09:57] | Just trying to help you out, buddy. | 我这不是想帮你嘛 兄弟 |
| [10:00] | Thank you. | 还是谢了 |
| [10:00] | Oh, where you taking her? | 你这是要带她上哪儿 |
| [10:02] | This, uh, Italian place in Santa Monica. DiFilipo’s. | 圣塔莫妮卡的意大利餐馆 蒂波利伯 |
| [10:04] | Oh, you are in luck. I have a coupon. | 算你好运 我有优惠券 |
| [10:09] | Buy one entree, get one free. | 主菜买一送一 |
| [10:10] | Sweet. Thanks. | 真好 谢谢你 |
| [10:14] | And remember, uh, poor guys don’t valet park | 记好了 穷人是不会让人代客停车的 |
| [10:16] | unless they’re wearing a red vest. | 除非他们自己就是停车小弟 |
| [10:17] | Got it. | 懂了 |
| [10:22] | $50,000. | 五万美元 |
| [10:26] | What is wrong with me that I want to masturbate with this on? | 我脑子是哪里有病 居然想戴着这个打飞机 |
| [10:37] | Nothing. | 没啥 |
| [10:43] | For a man on a budget, this is a little pricey. | 对省钱的人来说 这里可不便宜啊 |
| [10:47] | Oh, don’t worry. I have a coupon. | 别担心 我有优惠券 |
| [10:51] | Sexy. | 真性感 |
| [10:54] | So, Sam, tell me about yourself. | 山姆 介绍一下你自己吧 |
| [11:00] | There’s not much to tell. | 我没什么好说的啊 |
| [11:02] | Uh, I was born in Iowa. | 我出生在爱荷华州 |
| [11:04] | At age seven, I was taken away from my parents | 七岁的时候和父母分离 |
| [11:07] | and trained to be a government assassin. | 被训练成政府刺客 |
| [11:10] | Intriguing. | 有点意思 |
| [11:11] | Oh, it gets better. | 还不止呢 |
| [11:12] | It wasn’t our government. | 我说的政府不是我们的政府 |
| [11:16] | And I only found out later, they weren’t my parents. | 而且我后来才发现我父母也是假的 |
| [11:19] | Which made killing them that much easier. | 不过也让我下手杀他们时容易许多 |
| [11:22] | Tell me about you. | 现在说你吧 |
| [11:23] | Well, I had a fairly typical childhood in Riverside, California | 我在加州河滨市过着很普通的童年 |
| [11:28] | until my parents were killed by an assassin. | 直到一个刺客干掉了我父母 |
| [11:33] | I’ve spent the rest of my life tracking him down, | 之后我一直全力搜捕那个刺客 |
| [11:35] | and here we are. | 然后就是现在了 |
| [11:42] | Well, the Riverside part’s true, | 河滨市的部分是真的啦 |
| [11:44] | and then I spent two years in New York studying fashion. | 后来我在纽约呆了两年 学习时装 |
| [11:47] | Ah. Then I came out here to design clothes for the movies. | 接着我来这为电影设计服装 |
| [11:50] | And how did that go? | 情况如何 |
| [11:51] | I designed this dress and wore it to the movies. | 我设计了这条裙子并且穿着它去看电影 |
| [11:54] | So the dream is still alive. | 所以梦想还在继续呢 |
| [11:56] | Indeed it is. | 的确是啊 |
| [11:59] | I got to tell you, it’s refreshing, | 我必须告诉你 |
| [12:02] | talking to someone like you for a change. | 偶尔和你这样的人聊天挺舒服的 |
| [12:05] | Someone like me? | 我这样的是指… |
| [12:06] | Yeah, someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously | 对啊 不太把自己当回事儿 |
| [12:09] | and who’s not constantly trying to impress me | 不会刻意显摆东西还是财产 |
| [12:11] | with how much stuff he’s got. | 来讨好我的人 |
| [12:12] | What, so, wait, my coupon didn’t impress you? | 等等 我的优惠券没讨好到你吗 |
| [12:17] | Well, I don’t have much stuff. | 其实我也算是两袖清风了 |
| [12:19] | What you see is what you get. | 你能看到的差不多就是我的一切了 |
| [12:21] | And so far I like what I see. | 我挺喜欢的我看到的这一切 |
| [12:23] | I like what I see. | 我也喜欢我看到的 |
| [12:29] | Such a shame I’m gonna have to kill you. | 真遗憾 我待会必须要干掉你 |
| [12:32] | Too late. I already poisoned your wine. | 太晚了 我已经在你的酒里下毒了 |
| [12:45] | – Okay, you see the Big Dipper? – Yeah. | -你看到北斗七星了吗 -看到了 |
| [12:47] | All right, you see the last star on the handle? | 那你看北斗七星尾巴最后那一颗 |
| [12:50] | Follow that five stars to the right. | 往右五颗星 |
| [12:52] | – Okay. – Up three. | -好 -那上三颗 |
| [12:55] | – Got it. – Two to the left and down one. | -看到了 -再往左两颗 然后往下的那颗 |
| [12:58] | That’s my star. | 那就是我的星星 |
| [13:00] | I got it for Christmas when I was 12 years old. | 那是我12岁时得到的圣诞礼物 |
| [13:03] | That’s sweet. | 真棒啊 |
| [13:04] | Yeah, sure, now. | 现在看自然棒 |
| [13:05] | When I was 12 I wanted a dirt bike. | 但我12岁时想要的是轻型摩托车 |
| [13:08] | Can’t pop a wheelie on a star. | 你又不能用星星上玩后轮滑 |
| [13:15] | I’m kind of glad your car broke down. | 我有点庆幸你的车抛锚了 |
| [13:20] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [13:22] | You want to make a wish on my star? | 你想对我的星星许个愿吗 |
| [13:24] | I already did. | 已经许了 |
| [13:33] | For crying out loud, Sam, | 我求你了啊 山姆 |
| [13:35] | when you going to buy a decent car? | 你什么时候去搞辆正经的车啊 |
| [13:41] | Kate, this is my friend Alan. | 凯特 这是我的朋友艾伦 |
| [13:43] | Thanks so much for picking us up. | 谢谢你来接我们 |
| [13:45] | Yeah, this clown rents a room from me, | 这小废柴从我这租了间房 |
| [13:46] | suddenly I’m running a taxi service. | 我还得附赠叫车服务了 |
| [13:50] | Yeah, I’m sorry. My car is a piece of crap. | 不好意思啊 我的车太烂了 |
| [13:52] | Of course, I don’t do myself any favors | 当然 我从来不换机油 |
| [13:54] | by never changing the oil– ever. | 还真不是件好事 |
| [13:59] | Well, I like your car. | 我喜欢你的车 |
| [14:01] | – Thank you. – Thank you. | -多谢 – 多谢 |
| [14:04] | Uh, so Sam tells me you have a beach house. | 山姆告诉我你有栋海边别墅 |
| [14:07] | I do. I do. It’s gorgeous. | 是啊是啊 超赞的 |
| [14:09] | Uh, it was very expensive, | 当时超贵的 |
| [14:10] | but I bought it at the bottom of the market | 但我是在市场最低价的时候购入的 |
| [14:12] | and then I sold it and bought it again at the top of the market | 然后我卖掉它 等市场最高价时再买了它 |
| [14:15] | simply because I can. | 因为老子就是钱多 |
| [14:19] | Well, I’m sure at some point you’ll sell it again | 我想你肯定还会再卖掉它的 |
| [14:21] | and we’ll go our separate ways. | 然后我们就要分开了 |
| [14:23] | Oh, no, no, no, I’m gonna die in that house. | 不不不 我要在那房子里赖到死 |
| [14:25] | Oh, and, uh, that reminds me, uh, your rent is late again. | 哦我想起来了 你房租还欠着呢 |
| [14:30] | Right, I’ll have it for you tomorrow. | 我明天就付 |
| [14:31] | Today would be better. | 今天付比较好 |
| [14:33] | Fine, today. | 好 就今天 |
| [14:35] | He’s a good kid. | 他是个好孩子 |
| [14:37] | Give you the shirt off his back. | 他会把衣服都脱给你[他会为你做任何事] |
| [14:39] | It’s a crappy shirt, but he’ll give it to you. | 虽然衣服有点烂 但他还是会给你 |
| [14:43] | Would you look at the time? | 你看看几点了 |
| [14:45] | It is almost 10:00. | 快十点了 |
| [14:46] | I-I can tell ’cause the, uh, | 我能轻松告诉你 |
| [14:47] | the big hand is near the big diamond. | 是因为长指针快靠近大钻石了 |
| [14:49] | Check it out. | 瞧 |
| [14:50] | Yeah, it’s nice. | 挺不错的 |
| [14:51] | Damn right. | 废话 |
| [14:55] | So, Kate, Sam tells me you’re poor like him. | 凯特 山姆告诉我你和他一样穷 |
| [15:03] | I had a really nice time tonight. | 我今晚很开心 |
| [15:04] | Me, too, | 我也是 |
| [15:06] | but what’s with this guy Alan? | 但那个艾伦是怎么回事 |
| [15:08] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [15:10] | He recently came into a lot of money | 他是个刚刚发家的暴发户 |
| [15:11] | and he’s not really handling it well. | 所以还不太懂得如何做人 |
| [15:14] | Not handling it well? | 哪是不太懂 |
| [15:15] | He’s a big, fizzy douche. | 他就是个大傻逼 |
| [15:18] | I mean, the way he was showing off his car. | 你看他炫耀他车的那死德性呢 |
| [15:21] | Geez, how small is his penis? | 天哪 谁知道他小鸡鸡有多小 |
| [15:25] | Those two things aren’t always related. | 这两个好像没关系吧 |
| [15:28] | Okay, I-I don’t know, that watch | 好吧 但是你看他那手表 |
| [15:30] | is definitely overcompensating for something. | 绝对是欲盖弥彰 |
| [15:32] | Some people just like nice stuff, | 有些人只是喜欢好的东西 |
| [15:35] | even people with really big penises. | “小弟”过人的人也一样 |
| [15:38] | Well, everyone likes nice stuff, | 所有人都喜欢好的东西 |
| [15:40] | but he didn’t have to be such a jackass about it. | 但他不用像混蛋一样炫耀吧 |
| [15:43] | I know, but, I mean, he’s helping me out, | 我知道 但是他帮了我一把 |
| [15:45] | letting me live with him. | 让我和他一起住 |
| [15:47] | I get it. | 我懂 |
| [15:48] | It still doesn’t give him the right | 但这也没有给他权利 |
| [15:49] | to treat you the way he does. | 这样对待你 |
| [15:50] | You should say something. | 你应该出声抗议 |
| [15:52] | Oh, I intend to. | 正有此意 |
| [15:55] | You know, before he arrived, | 在他到之前 |
| [15:58] | I was about to do something. | 我正准备做一件事 |
| [16:00] | So was I. | 我也是 |
| [16:03] | Come on, Sam! | 快点 山姆 |
| [16:05] | Time is money, and you’re out of both. | 时间就是金钱 而你两样全无 |
| [16:09] | You’re right. He’s a big, fizzy douche. | 你说得对 他就是个大傻逼 |
| [16:15] | Hey, looking good. | 哎哟 很帅哦 |
| [16:19] | Where you going? | 准备去哪里 |
| [16:20] | Oh, I’m packing a picnic for me and Kate. | 我准备和凯特去野餐 |
| [16:23] | We’re going to a free concert in the park. | 去听公园里的免费演唱会 |
| [16:25] | It’s a Van Halen tribute band. | “范海伦乐队”的翻唱表演 |
| [16:27] | Well, actually, it’s not a band. | 事实上不是乐队 |
| [16:28] | It’s just a guy named Dan Halen. | 就是一个叫丹·海伦的家伙 |
| [16:30] | Unbelievable. You’re having fun living my life. | 难以置信 你过我的日子也能过得如此滋润 |
| [16:33] | I’ve never had that experience. | 我从没有过这样的体验 |
| [16:35] | Well, it’s all because of Kate. | 这都是因为凯特 |
| [16:36] | And the best part is, | 最棒之处在于 |
| [16:37] | she likes me for me. | 她喜欢的就是我 |
| [16:39] | Uh, technically, she likes you for me. | 正确来说 她喜欢的是你扮演的我 |
| [16:41] | Which is ironic ’cause she doesn’t like you at all. | 讽刺的是 她很讨厌你 |
| [16:45] | So, uh, what’s the plan here? | 那你有什么计划 |
| [16:47] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [16:48] | Well, I mean, this girl’s been dating Sam Wilson | 她已经跟山姆·威尔森 |
| [16:50] | for a couple of weeks. | 好上几个星期了 |
| [16:51] | When are you going to introduce her to Walden Schmidt? | 你什么时候介绍她认识沃顿·施密特 |
| [16:53] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [16:54] | Haven’t really thought that far ahead. | 还没想过那么远 |
| [16:56] | Actually, I’m kind of afraid to think that far ahead. | 事实上我有点不敢想那么远 |
| [16:57] | How long do you think | 你觉得你可以 |
| [16:58] | you can keep up this Prince and the Pauper charade? | 玩这个”王子与乞儿”的游戏多久 |
| [17:00] | How long do you think you can keep living here for free? | 你觉得你可以在这里白吃白住多久 |
| [17:02] | Godspeed, Sam Wilson. | 我主保佑 山姆·威尔森 |
| [17:11] | Well, that was fun on a budget. | 没钱也可以玩得很高兴啊 |
| [17:14] | Yeah, we certainly got more bang for our buck, didn’t we? | 对 “性”价比的确很高 |
| [17:19] | Oh. I’m sorry. I just… | 抱歉 我得… |
| [17:25] | Ah, great. | 好极了 |
| [17:27] | Everything okay? | 有事吗 |
| [17:27] | Yeah. Alan wants me to pick up some hemorrhoid cream on the way home. | 艾伦让我回家时带些痔疮膏 |
| [17:32] | Well, he is a pain in the ass. | 他的确是混蛋[屁眼里的疼] |
| [17:37] | He’s not that bad. | 他没那么差劲 |
| [17:38] | Oh, yeah? Then why don’t we ever spend the night | 是吗 那我们怎么从来不在他那间 |
| [17:40] | at his Malibu beach house? | 马里布海滩豪宅过夜啊 |
| [17:42] | He doesn’t like it when I have guests. | 他不喜欢我有访客 |
| [17:44] | Douche. | 王八蛋 |
| [17:48] | You should move out. | 你应该搬出来 |
| [17:50] | Can’t afford to. | 我没钱 |
| [17:52] | Well, um, | 那么 |
| [17:55] | maybe you could crash here. | 也许你可以住我这里 |
| [17:59] | What… what are you saying,like… | 你是说… |
| [18:02] | move in? | 我搬来住吗 |
| [18:03] | Yeah, just until you have enough money to afford your own place. | 直到你有钱租自己的房子为止 |
| [18:07] | That might be a while. | 可能要些时日呢 |
| [18:08] | I knew I shouldn’t have bought that Dan Halen T-shirt. | 我就知道我不该买那件丹·海伦T恤 |
| [18:13] | So, what, we’d be, like, roommates? | 那我们成室友了吗 |
| [18:15] | With benefits. | 各取所需的室友 |
| [18:17] | Oh. I like the sound of benefits. | 我喜欢各取所”需” |
| [18:19] | Good, ’cause they include washing the dishes | 很好 因为需要包括洗碗 |
| [18:21] | and taking out the trash. | 和扔垃圾 |
| [18:23] | Okay, clearly we differ in our definition of “benefits.” | 很显然 我们对各取所”需”的定义不同 |
| [18:29] | Can I think about it? | 我考虑下好吗 |
| [18:31] | By all means. | 当然可以 |
| [18:40] | Okay, I got to tell you, | 好了 我得告诉你 |
| [18:41] | you are much better kisser than Alan. | 你的吻技比艾伦好多了 |
| [18:49] | Are you sure about this? | 你确定要这样做吗 |
| [18:51] | It’s like Dan Halen says, “Might as well jump.” | 就像丹·海伦说的 “不妨跳吧” |
| [18:55] | Well, when are you coming back? | 那你什么时候回来 |
| [18:57] | – I don’t know. – Walden, have you really thought this through? | -不知道 -沃顿 你真的想清楚了吗 |
| [19:00] | I know it’s crazy, but I got to see where this goes with Kate. | 我知道这很疯 但我想知道我与凯特的结果 |
| [19:04] | All right, I’m just concerned about my friend. | 好吧 我只是替你担心 |
| [19:07] | I appreciate that. | 多谢你了 |
| [19:09] | I’m gonna be fine. | 我不会有事的 |
| [19:10] | Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [19:11] | And, uh, don’t worry about anything here. | 别担心家里 |
| [19:13] | Yeah. Thanks, buddy. | 好 多谢了 哥们 |
| [19:14] | – Well, bye. – Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
| [19:18] | Finally, you’re mine! You’re all mine! | 豪宅终于是我的了 我一个人的 |
| [19:30] | So my porn name would be Snowball Honeysuckle. | 所以我的黄片艺名会是雪球吸蜜蜜 |
| [19:34] | Oh, that is so cute. | 太可爱了 |
| [19:36] | I would download every one of your films. | 我一定会下载你所有的电影 |
| [19:39] | What would yours be? | 你的是什么 |
| [19:40] | Beebo Eighty-ninth Street. | 比波89街 |
| [19:43] | Guess it’s not a foolproof system. | 看来这取名方法不够科学 |
| [19:46] | Hey, I have to ask you a question. | 我得问你个问题 |
| [19:48] | He was a fish. | 我养的是鱼 |
| [19:51] | Thanks, but no. | 谢谢 不是这个 |
| [19:55] | Why are you with me? | 你为什么和我在一起 |
| [19:56] | What kind of a question is that? | 这是什么问题 |
| [20:00] | I don’t know. Just, I don’t have much to offer, | 我不知道 只是我没什么能给你的 |
| [20:03] | and a beautiful, smart girl like you | 像你这样美丽聪明的女生 |
| [20:06] | could probably get any guy she wants. | 想和任何男生在一起都不成问题 |
| [20:08] | But I did get the guy I want. | 我想要的已经到手了 |
| [20:10] | Good answer. | 答得真好 |
| [20:13] | Just promise me one thing. | 向我保证一件事就好 |
| [20:15] | – What’s that? – That we’re always honest with each other. | -什么事 -永远对彼此诚实 |
| [20:21] | No secrets, no lies. | 没有秘密 没有谎言 |
| [20:28] | You got it. | 没问题 |
| [20:33] | Good night, Kate. | 晚安 凯特 |
| [20:33] | Good night, Sam. | 晚安 山姆 |
| [20:45] | Kate? | 凯特 |
| [20:46] | Yeah? | 什么事 |
| [20:48] | I’m a billionaire. | 我是亿万富翁 |
| [20:49] | Of course you are, Snowball. | 你当然是的 雪球 |
| [20:54] | Hey, you kids, get off my beach! | 小屁孩 滚出我家海滩 |