| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | – Morning. – Morning. | -早安 -早安 |
| [00:06] | You, by chance, have the number of a good chiropractor? | 你那有好点的脊椎按摩师的电话吗 |
| [00:09] | What about Alan? | 艾伦呢 |
| [00:15] | Sorry. I couldn’t resist. | 抱歉 我忍不住要开这玩笑 |
| [00:18] | What, is your back out? | 怎么了 你的背扭到了吗 |
| [00:19] | Not yet, but I got a big date for Valentine’s Day. | 还没 但我情人节有个重要约会 |
| [00:22] | And if everything goes well, | 如果”进展”顺利 |
| [00:24] | I’ll need a chiropractor, | 我会需要一个脊椎按摩师 |
| [00:25] | a psychiatrist and a priest. | 一个精神病医师和一个牧师 |
| [00:29] | I can’t wait for this stupid holiday to be over | 我希望这个白痴的节日早点结束 |
| [00:30] | so we can celebrate something cool, like… | 好让我们可以庆祝点更酷的事情 比如 |
| [00:32] | Free Bobblehead at Dodger Stadium Day. | 道奇体育场摇头娃娃免费日 |
| [00:37] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
| [00:38] | Valentine’s Day. | 情人节 |
| [00:39] | Or what it should really be called: | 或是它应该被称为 |
| [00:41] | Dumb Greeting Card, Chocolate-Covered, | 傻逼贺卡 巧克力到处飞 |
| [00:42] | Overpriced Flowers, Can’t Get a Dinner Reservation, | 鲜花狂涨价 订不到位子吃饭 |
| [00:45] | I’m Probably Going to Die Alone Anyway Day. | 反正我还是会孤独死去节 |
| [00:49] | Sounds like Cupid’s arrow hit somebody | 似乎爱神丘比特的箭射中了 |
| [00:51] | right in the the bile sack. | 某人倒苦水的胆汁袋 |
| [00:52] | Don’t get my started on that fat, flying baby. | 别跟我提那个会飞的胖娃娃 |
| [00:55] | What could you possibly have against Cupid? | 你对丘比特还能有什么不满的 |
| [00:57] | First of all, he’s wearing a diaper. | 首先他穿着尿布 |
| [00:59] | Yeah, that’s sexy. | 没错 那真”性感” |
| [01:02] | And then he’s got wings, | 他还有翅膀 |
| [01:03] | which make you think of angels, which makes you think of God, | 这会让你天使 还会想到上帝 |
| [01:06] | which makes you feel guilty | 会让你一想到做爱 |
| [01:07] | about having sex in the first place. | 首先[第一地]冒出来的就是罪恶感 |
| [01:08] | And in the second place. | 其次[第二地点]也会 |
| [01:12] | Well, I, for one, am going all out for Lyndsey this year. | 我今年会倾尽所有给林赛过节 |
| [01:15] | Really? What’s that mean? | 真的吗 那是什么意思 |
| [01:17] | Cemetery flowers and a coupon for one free go-around | 墓地拿来的免费花 还有一张免费骑 |
| [01:20] | on Mr. Alan’s Wild Ride? | 艾伦小野马一次的优惠券吗 |
| [01:23] | I am sparing no expense. | 我会不惜血本 |
| [01:24] | Lyndsey deserves the best, | 林赛值得拥有最好的 |
| [01:25] | and I am finally going to give it to her. | 我终将会给她的 |
| [01:27] | Well, if you’re giving it to her, | 如果是你”给”的 |
| [01:28] | it’s not going to be the best. | 那肯定不是最好的 |
| [01:36] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [01:37] | I just got an e-mail from Kate. | 凯特给我发来封电邮 |
| [01:40] | She’s in town. She wants to see me. | 她回来了 她想见我 |
| [01:41] | – Did she say why? – No. | -她有说为什么 -没有 |
| [01:44] | Could be anything. | 一切皆有可能 |
| [01:46] | It could be nothing. | 也可能什么事都没有 |
| [01:48] | Could be something. | 也可能是某件事 |
| [01:50] | Could be something serious. | 可能是某件重要的事 |
| [01:51] | What if she’s dying? | 万一她要死了怎么办 |
| [01:53] | What if she’s pregnant? | 万一她怀孕了怎么办 |
| [01:54] | Wait, what if she’s dying to be pregnant? | 万一是她想怀孕想到要死了怎么办 |
| [01:57] | The woman I love wants to have my child. | 我爱的女人想怀我的孩子 |
| [02:00] | Oh, my God, I’m going to be a father. | 天啊 我要当爸爸了 |
| [02:04] | Advantage: fat, flying baby. | 飞天肥婴儿先驰得点 |
| [02:07] | You have the number of a good chiropractor? | 你有好点的脊椎按摩师的电话吗 |
| [02:28] | – Kate. – Sam. | -凯特 -山姆 |
| [02:30] | Oh… it’s… | 我是… |
| [02:32] | I’m kidding. | 我逗你的 |
| [02:33] | Oh. Hi, Walden. | 你好 沃顿 |
| [02:40] | I, uh… I got you your favorite coffee. | 我帮你点了你最爱喝的咖啡 |
| [02:41] | Hey, how’d you remember? | 你怎么会记得 |
| [02:43] | Please, how hard is it to remember | 拜托 这个是有多难记 |
| [02:44] | a grande, extra hot, decaf, | 大杯 超烫 无咖啡因 |
| [02:46] | triple shot, five pump | 三份浓缩咖啡 五勺糖浆 |
| [02:47] | vanilla, nonfat, no foam, | 香草味 低脂 无沫 |
| [02:49] | whip cream, caramel macchiato? | 鲜奶油的焦糖玛奇朵 |
| [02:51] | Actually, I switched to tea. | 其实我现在改喝茶了 |
| [02:54] | It’s a joke. | 开玩笑啦 |
| [02:57] | Well, you look great. | 你看起来不错 |
| [03:01] | Success is really working for you. | 看来成功让你容光焕发 |
| [03:03] | Then again, you’d look great with a bag over your head. | 如果你的头罩着袋子 会更好看 |
| [03:06] | That didn’t come off as charming as I wanted it to. | 这句话说出来没我想的那么迷人 |
| [03:10] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:11] | – I can’t believe how lucky I’ve been. – Lucky? | -真不敢相信我是如此幸运 -幸运 |
| [03:13] | Come on, you have real talent. | 拜托 你是真的很有天赋 |
| [03:16] | I-I actually bought one of your dresses | 老实说我还在你的网站上 |
| [03:18] | – off your Web site. – Seriously? | -买了一条你做的裙子 -真的吗 |
| [03:20] | Yeah, I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet. | 真的 我只是还没机会穿 |
| [03:23] | I’ve been waiting for the perfect occasion. | 我一直在等着最佳场合 |
| [03:27] | I was really surprised that you called me. | 你打给我让我又惊又喜 |
| [03:31] | Yeah, I’m actually in town for a couple of days on business, | 我其实是回来出差的 就待几天 |
| [03:35] | – and I wanted to see you. – You did? | -我想见你 -真的吗 |
| [03:38] | Me, too. | 我也想见你 |
| [03:39] | I mean, other than stalking you on Facebook. | 总好过在你脸书上跟踪你 |
| [03:43] | Well, I wanted to give you this. | 我想给你这个 |
| [03:47] | It’s the money you invested in me. | 这是你投资给我的那笔钱 |
| [03:50] | Oh, Kate. | 凯特 |
| [03:52] | I gave this to my girlfriend | 这笔钱我是给我女朋友的 |
| [03:53] | so she could follow her dreams. | 好让她能追求自己的梦想 |
| [03:54] | And I am paying back my investor | 我把这笔钱还给我的投资人 |
| [03:56] | so I don’t owe him anything. | 好让我跟他两不相欠 |
| [03:59] | S-So this is why you wanted to see me. | 这就是你想见我的理由吗 |
| [04:01] | Walden, we broke up. | 沃顿 我们分手了 |
| [04:03] | When you break up, | 人们一旦分手 |
| [04:04] | you give the other person their stuff back. | 就会把对方的东西还回去 |
| [04:06] | Yes, but it’s usually a cell phone charger | 没错 但那通常是手机充电器 |
| [04:08] | and a bite guard. | 和护牙器 |
| [04:10] | Well, in this case, it’s $100,000. | 既然如此 我还你10万 |
| [04:12] | Well, I don’t want it. | 我不要 |
| [04:13] | But I do want my bite guard back. | 但我的确想要回我的护牙器 |
| [04:15] | Buy another one. | 再买一个 |
| [04:16] | Or 1,000 of them. | 或者拿这钱买一千个 |
| [04:18] | Kate, just put the money into your business. | 凯特 把这钱投进你的生意 |
| [04:21] | It’ll help you get to the next level. | 这能帮你越做越大 |
| [04:23] | I don’t need it. | 我不需要 |
| [04:26] | I’ve actually found a new investor. | 其实我找了一个新的投资人 |
| [04:27] | That’s how I’m able to pay you back. | 所以我才能把钱还给你 |
| [04:30] | So, we’re no longer business partners. | 所以我们再也不是生意伙伴了 |
| [04:33] | We are not. | 不是了 |
| [04:37] | Well, that’s great. | 那更好 |
| [04:38] | That frees us up to be two young, | 那我们可以成为两个相爱的 |
| [04:40] | – crazy dreamers in love. – No. | -年轻而疯狂追梦人 -也不是 |
| [04:43] | Okay, how about two cautiously optimistic adults | 好吧 那两个谨慎乐观的成年人 |
| [04:46] | sharing dinner? | 共进晚餐如何 |
| [04:48] | I don’t think that’s a good idea. | 我觉得这样不好 |
| [04:49] | Give me one more run at this. | 让我再试一遍 |
| [04:52] | Two old friends, chance encounter, bus stop, | 两位老朋友 意外相遇公交站 |
| [04:56] | sharing a bag of tacos. | 同吃一包玉米片 |
| [04:58] | Not going to happen. | 不可能 |
| [04:59] | Too bad. | 太可惜了 |
| [05:01] | I was really looking for an excuse to wear my new dress. | 我真的很想找个理由穿我的新裙子 |
| [05:09] | I am interested in doing something special | 我想情人节跟我最好的伴侣 |
| [05:12] | for my best gal on Valentine’s Day. | 做一些特别的事情 |
| [05:14] | Uh, how much is your Presidential Suite? | 你们的总统套房多少钱 |
| [05:20] | Uh-huh, I-I see. | 我知道 |
| [05:22] | Um, do you, by any chance, | 那你们… |
| [05:23] | have a Secretary of Agriculture Suite? | 有没有农业大臣套房呢 |
| [05:29] | All right, all right, you know what, let me just book | 好吧 好吧 那就给我来个 |
| [05:31] | your best regular-people room, and, uh, | 你们最好的普通人套房吧 |
| [05:33] | would it be possible to, uh, split the deposit | 你们那边接不接受我用三张卡 |
| [05:37] | over three credit cards? | 来付订金呢 |
| [05:40] | Oh, oh, sure, I’ll hold. | 没问题 我可以稍等 |
| [05:44] | Oh, oh, hey, how’d it go with Kate? | 跟凯特怎么样了 |
| [05:46] | Let’s just say she doesn’t want me in her business. | 她不想我跟她插手她的生意 |
| [05:49] | Financial or lady. | 或插入”那里” |
| [05:51] | Oh, oh, I’m sorry. | 我很遗憾 |
| [05:53] | Yeah, the only reason she wanted to see me | 她唯一愿意要见我的理由 |
| [05:55] | was to give me this stupid check for $100,000. | 是想给我这张傻逼十万块的支票 |
| [06:03] | You’re not stupid to me. | 你才不傻呢 |
| [06:07] | So, uh, what’s the next step? | 那你下一步打算怎么做 |
| [06:08] | There is no next step. | 没下一步了 |
| [06:10] | – It’s over. – What are you talking about? | -结束了都 -你说啥呢 |
| [06:12] | She doesn’t want anything to do with me. | 她不想跟我有任何牵扯 |
| [06:14] | Well, there’s a good attitude. | 你这态度还真”好” |
| [06:16] | Let me ask you something. | 让我问你个问题 |
| [06:18] | Was it over for Lyndsey and me | 琳赛跟我在一起 |
| [06:20] | when I burned her house to the ground? | 我烧了她家 有因此告终吗 |
| [06:23] | No. | 没有 |
| [06:24] | Was it over for us | 那我介绍 |
| [06:25] | when I introduced her mom to my mom, | 她妈跟我妈认识后 |
| [06:27] | who subsequently turned her into a rapacious lesbian? No. | 害人家妈妈变成情欲拉拉 有分手吗 没有 |
| [06:31] | And-and-and what about me living in this house? | 那我住在你家呢 |
| [06:33] | Was it over when my brother died and you bought the place? | 有因为我哥死掉 你买下这房子就结束吗 |
| [06:35] | Sadly, no. | 很悲剧 并没有 |
| [06:37] | Right, because I am not a quitter. | 没错 因为我永不放弃 |
| [06:40] | And you aren’t, either. | 所以你也不该放弃 |
| [06:41] | You’re Walden Schmidt, captain of industry. | 因为你是沃顿·施密特 业界大佬 |
| [06:44] | Titan of technology. | 科技巨人 |
| [06:46] | Head honcho of… | 帅气界的… |
| [06:50] | …handsomeness. | 大头 |
| [06:51] | – Ran out of steam? – Yes, | -编不下去了吗 -是的 |
| [06:53] | but you’ll notice I did not quit. | 但你看我也没放弃啊 |
| [06:57] | Maybe you’re right. | 你说得不无道理 |
| [06:58] | Of course I’m right. | 我说的当然有道理 |
| [06:59] | Nothing is over until you say it’s over. | 事情只有你自己都放弃才会结束 |
| [07:02] | With the possible exception of me moving out, | 就像我搬走的唯一可能性 |
| [07:04] | which will only happen when you wheel me | 只有可能是你推着坐轮椅的我 |
| [07:05] | into the assisted living facility. | 进入养老院 |
| [07:07] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [07:08] | I’m going to go talk to her. | 我要再去找她谈 |
| [07:09] | Thank you, Alan. | 谢谢你 艾伦 |
| [07:10] | No problem, buddy. | 兄弟 小意思 |
| [07:12] | I will always be here for you. | 我永远都会在这挺你 |
| [07:16] | Literally. | 永不离开哦 |
| [07:19] | Oh, uh, hello. | 是的 |
| [07:21] | Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | 还在 还在 |
| [07:22] | Um, I have a MasterCard, | 我有一张万事达卡 |
| [07:25] | a Discover card and my mom’s Visa. | 一张发现卡 以及一张我妈的维萨卡 |
| [07:35] | Walden. | 沃顿 |
| [07:35] | Great, you’ve already showered. | 很好 你洗好澡了 |
| [07:37] | Now, get dressed. We’re going to dinner. | 现在去穿好衣服 我们去吃晚饭 |
| [07:38] | What? No. | 什么 不要 |
| [07:40] | Sorry, wrong answer. | 抱歉 答错了 |
| [07:43] | The head honcho of handsomeness | 帅气界的大头 |
| [07:44] | rejects your rejection. | 拒绝你的拒绝 |
| [07:46] | Is that a title you gave yourself? | 这称号是你自封的吗 |
| [07:48] | No, it was given to me by the man I live with. | 不 是住我家的那人封给我的 |
| [07:53] | How did you find my room? | 你怎么知道我住这 |
| [07:54] | They told me at the front desk. | 前台的人告诉我的 |
| [07:55] | They’re not supposed to do that. | 他们不能这样的 |
| [07:56] | They’re also not supposed to accept bribes, | 他们也不能接受贿赂啊 |
| [07:58] | but here I am. | 但我还不是在这了 |
| [08:00] | I am not going to dinner with you. | 我不会跟你去共进晚餐的 |
| [08:02] | Fine. | 行 |
| [08:04] | You don’t want to go to dinner with me, then… | 你不跟我出去吃饭 |
| [08:07] | …then we will have dinner right here. | 那我们就在这里吃晚饭 |
| [08:11] | Look, your favorite: a half-eaten lobster | 你看 你的最爱 吃过的龙虾 |
| [08:14] | with a cigarette butt in it. | 配一个烟头 |
| [08:15] | Oh, I was really hoping for coleslaw | 我本来还很期待要吃 |
| [08:18] | with a Band-Aid in it. | 凉拌卷心菜配邦迪呢 |
| [08:22] | Come on, Kate, go to dinner with him. | 来嘛 凯特 跟他一起去吃晚饭 |
| [08:24] | Don’t be so shellfish. | 别这么贝类[自私] |
| [08:28] | You know you’re an idiot, right? | 你知道你就跟白痴一样嘛 |
| [08:30] | I’m a persistent idiot. | 但我是个不放弃的白痴 |
| [08:33] | Let me get dressed. | 让我去换个衣服吧 |
| [08:44] | Why would I do that? | 我干嘛犯这种傻 |
| [08:50] | Oh, hey, there’s my valentine. | 这不是我的情人嘛 |
| [08:52] | Will you be mine? | 你愿意当吗 |
| [08:54] | Hi, Alan. Yes, I will. | 艾伦 我当然愿意啊 |
| [08:56] | Great, ’cause I got something special planned. | 太好了 因为我有神秘惊喜要给你呢 |
| [08:57] | Is this going to be another scavenger hunt | 不会又是个寻宝游戏 |
| [08:59] | that ends in your pants? Ah… | 最后宝藏是你裤里的东西吧 |
| [09:00] | No, no, this year, | 不不不 今年 |
| [09:02] | I booked us a room at the Bel-Air Hotel | 我在高档酒店 |
| [09:04] | with the full romance package. | 订了一个浪漫套餐 |
| [09:05] | Oh, my God, are you serious? | 天啊 你是说真的吗 |
| [09:07] | Oh, yeah, uh, candlelight dinner, dancing, | 当然啊 烛光晚餐 舞池 |
| [09:10] | couples massage, followed by savage sex | 情侣按摩 以及与你梦中情人的 |
| [09:12] | with the man of your dreams. | 激情之夜 |
| [09:13] | Steve Buscemi’s going to be there? | 史蒂夫·布西密[演员]会来吗 |
| [09:17] | That sounds amazing. | 听起来很棒的夜晚呢 |
| [09:18] | But how can you afford it? | 不过你怎么付得起啊 |
| [09:20] | Ah, bup, bup, bup. | 别说了 |
| [09:21] | Nothing is too good for milady. | 对我的宝贝 再多钱也值得 |
| [09:23] | Besides, a month without antidepressants | 而且一个月不吃抗忧郁药 |
| [09:24] | isn’t going to kill me. | 也死不了的啦 |
| [09:26] | I don’t know what to say. | 我都不知道说什么好了 |
| [09:28] | Oh, you don’t have to say anything. | 你什么都不用说 |
| [09:29] | Just pack your bag, | 收拾好行李 |
| [09:30] | and your chariot will arrive at 6:00. | 我会在六点来接你 |
| [09:32] | Yeah, would it be okay if we took my chariot? | 我们能开我的车吗 |
| [09:35] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [09:36] | Really, I have to say it out loud? | 这还要问 你真要我直说吗 |
| [09:38] | I don’t want to pull up | 我不想坐着 |
| [09:40] | to the Bel-Air Hotel in your piece-of-crap car. | 你那台狗屎烂车到人家高档酒店 |
| [09:42] | Oh, oh, uh, we can use your car. | 那好 就开你的车 |
| [09:45] | Oh, and if the front desk refers to you as Evelyn Harper, | 还有 如果前台称呼你是伊芙琳·哈勃 |
| [09:48] | just roll with it. | 你就顺着应声就行了 |
| [09:49] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:50] | Well, I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [09:52] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [09:55] | That went well. | 跟她说得挺顺利 |
| [09:57] | I won’t be needing these clues for the scavenger hunt. | 这些寻宝游戏的提示看来是不要了 |
| [10:03] | Wasn’t that better than sitting in your room | 比你自己坐在房间里 |
| [10:05] | all alone watching porn? | 孤独看黄片好很多吧 |
| [10:08] | Is that what you do? | 你都是这样的吗 |
| [10:09] | What, me? No… | 我吗 才不是呢 |
| [10:12] | I’m a Bible guy. | 我都看《圣经》的好吗 |
| [10:16] | Well, thanks. | 好啦 今晚谢了 |
| [10:18] | I had a really nice time. | 我今晚玩得很开心 |
| [10:19] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [10:25] | Well, good night. | 晚安啦 |
| [10:29] | Uh, but… | 这样… |
| [10:30] | – good night? – Yeah. | -就晚安啦 -对啊 |
| [10:32] | Oh, I was hoping that maybe we could… | 我本来还想说我们可以… |
| [10:35] | you know, have hotel fun. | 来点酒店”娱乐” |
| [10:38] | I don’t sleep with guys on the first date. | 我不跟第一次约会的男人”睡” |
| [10:40] | First date? | 第一次约会吗 |
| [10:41] | We lived together. | 我们都同住过了 |
| [10:42] | No, I lived with Sam Wilson. | 不 我是跟山姆·威尔森住过 |
| [10:45] | Who you bare an uncanny resemblance to, | 虽然你跟他非比寻常的相似 |
| [10:48] | but… still, I think we should take it slow. | 但我们… 还是慢慢发展吧 |
| [10:52] | Okay, I get it. | 好吧 我明白 |
| [10:56] | Good night. | 晚安啦 |
| [11:07] | Kate. | 凯特 |
| [11:08] | What do you want, Walden? | 又有什么事啊 沃顿 |
| [11:09] | Oh, uh… it’s not Walden; it’s Sam Wilson. | 不是沃顿 是山姆·威尔森 |
| [11:13] | Go away. | 快回家啦 |
| [11:14] | Eh, it was worth a shot. | 碰碰运气嘛 |
| [11:27] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [11:29] | Oh, there he is. | 你来啦 |
| [11:30] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [11:31] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [11:32] | Just come here. | 过来就对了 |
| [11:39] | Oh, what a lovely way to start the day. | 大早上就这样 真有爱的早晨 |
| [11:43] | Don’t kiss me. I have morning breath. | 别亲我 我早晨有口臭 |
| [11:45] | – Thank you. – You’re welcome. | -谢谢你 -不用客气 |
| [11:47] | – What did I do? – You were right. | -我做什么了 -你说得对 |
| [11:49] | Kate and I wound up having a great time last night. | 凯特和我享受了一个开心的夜晚 |
| [11:52] | – Congratulations. – Yeah. | -恭喜你啦 -对啊 |
| [11:54] | It was perfect. | 超完美的夜晚 |
| [11:55] | I mean, it was the same… | 我们之间的那… |
| [11:56] | chemistry, the same connection. | 情愫还是一样 心灵还是相同 |
| [11:59] | Hmm, when you say “connection,” | 你说”相通的时候” |
| [12:00] | are we talking “love connection”? | 是说”爱情相通”吗 |
| [12:02] | And by “Love connection,” | 那说”爱情相通” |
| [12:03] | I mean, “Brown chicken, brown cow.” | 也就是”床上私通”吧 |
| [12:07] | – No. – No? | -没 -没吗 |
| [12:09] | Nah, I didn’t want to. | 没 我不想要 |
| [12:12] | You know, I just wanted to take it slow. | 我只是想跟她慢慢好好发展 |
| [12:14] | So we could connect on a more emotional, spiritual level. | 所以我们可以在心灵 灵魂上更相容 |
| [12:17] | Sounds pretty gay to me, but… all right. | 感觉挺像基佬说的话 不过好吧 |
| [12:21] | So when are you gonna see her again? | 那你们什么时候再见啊 |
| [12:22] | – Tonight. – On Valentine’s Day? | -今晚 -情人节之夜吗 |
| [12:23] | Yep. | 对啊 |
| [12:24] | Ooh, that’s a terrific day not to get laid. | 还真是个不做爱的”好日子”啊 |
| [12:26] | I know, right? | 是吧 |
| [12:27] | Oh, oh, hey, can I ask your opinion about something? | 对了 我有个东西想问问你的看法 |
| [12:29] | – Yeah, of course. – Great. | -行啊 没问题 -太好了 |
| [12:30] | What-what do you think of this? | 你觉得这个如何 |
| [12:31] | Whoa! Dude! | 哇靠 你搞毛啊 |
| [12:33] | What the hell? | 你干啥呢 |
| [12:34] | Oh, uh, I-I did a little manscaping | 我试着整理了下阴毛嘛 |
| [12:36] | for my, uh… my big night with Lyndsey tonight. | 为今晚跟琳赛的大日子做点准备 |
| [12:38] | I wanted to surprise her. | 我想给她个惊喜 |
| [12:40] | Uh… does this look like a heart? | 你觉得看起来像爱心吗 |
| [12:43] | Yeah, it looks great. I love it. | 看起来很棒 我觉得不错 |
| [12:45] | You’re not even looking. | 你都没正眼瞧 |
| [12:45] | Come on, I had your back. | 我可是在你背后支持过你呢 |
| [12:46] | Yeah, well, I don’t want to have your front. | 但我不想要你的正面啊 |
| [12:51] | Please? | 拜托嘛 |
| [12:52] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [12:54] | But I’m going to restrict my response | 但我的评论只会对 |
| [12:55] | to only the nest. | “鸟窝”作评论 |
| [12:57] | I’m not going to comment | 至于鸟窝里 |
| [12:58] | on the baby bird sitting on top of the eggs. | 坐在”鸟蛋”上的”鸟”作评论 |
| [13:00] | That’s all I ask. | 那就够了 |
| [13:09] | No. | 不 |
| [13:10] | Doesn’t look like a heart. | 这看起来不像爱心 |
| [13:13] | What? It-it doesn’t? | 什么 不像吗 |
| [13:14] | No. There’s no… | 不像 没有个… |
| [13:16] | cleavage, there’s no dip. | 凹 没有心的那个凹 |
| [13:18] | It’s just… there. | 就只是一坨而已 |
| [13:20] | Wait, what are you talking about? | 等等 你说啥呢 |
| [13:22] | There’s a… there’s a curve right there. | 这里有个凹的呀 |
| [13:23] | The whole thing is lopsided. | 但你整坨都歪了啊 |
| [13:25] | Oh, no. It just looks that way | 不是啦 会歪只是因为 |
| [13:27] | ’cause I haven’t fluffed. | 我还没给它拍松 |
| [13:28] | See? | 现在呢 |
| [13:31] | No, it still doesn’t look like a heart. | 还是看起来不像爱心啊 |
| [13:33] | Fine, I’ll keep working on it. | 好吧 那我继续再弄弄 |
| [13:35] | But it is very difficult to manscape from this angle. | 但我从这个视角 很难修建那个毛啊 |
| [13:37] | – No, it’s not. – Uh, yeah, it is. | -才不会呢 -是很难好吗 |
| [13:39] | Okay, just for a frame of reference… | 为了证明一下我说的 |
| [13:42] | check out my manscaping. | 让你看看我的”草坪”吧 |
| [13:44] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [13:46] | It’s beautiful. | 太完美了 |
| [13:49] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [13:50] | So that’s how you pay the rent. | 你就是这么付房租的 |
| [14:00] | Alan, come on, let’s go. | 艾伦 该出发啦 |
| [14:02] | I want to spend every possible minute in that hotel room. | 我不想浪费能待在那酒店房里的每分每秒 |
| [14:06] | One second! Just finishing off | 在一下 马上搞定了 |
| [14:08] | one last Valentine’s surp… | 我最后一样情人节惊… |
| [14:10] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [14:14] | Oh, my God, what happened? | 天啊 怎么啦 |
| [14:16] | Manscaping… | 我在修毛… |
| [14:18] | Balls… | 蛋蛋… |
| [14:19] | Hospital! | 医院啊 |
| [14:27] | Well, I believe we just combined Valentine’s Day | 我觉得我们刚把情人节跟国庆日的 |
| [14:28] | with the Fourth of July. | “欢乐”凑一起了 |
| [14:31] | What do you say we throw in Groundhog Day and do it again? | 要不要再加个节日 再来一次啊 |
| [14:36] | You know… | 你知道吗 |
| [14:37] | I had no intention of sleeping with you. | 我本来没打算跟你”睡”的 |
| [14:40] | I even wore my granny panties. | 我都穿了我的老太内裤了 |
| [14:42] | Well, the joke’s on you, | 那你糗了吧 |
| [14:44] | ’cause I like a sensible, full-coverage brief. | 我最爱的可就是全包覆式的内裤 |
| [14:49] | I really missed you. | 我真的好想你哦 |
| [14:51] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [14:52] | – Can I tell you a secret, though? – Sure. | -我能告诉你个秘密吗 -没问题 |
| [14:55] | Sam Wilson is a much better lover than you. | 山姆·威尔森比你的床技猛多了 |
| [15:00] | I’m sorry. | 是我的错 |
| [15:02] | I couldn’t get my mind off of Alan’s penis. | 艾伦鸡鸡的画面在我脑海里一直作怪 |
| [15:11] | Oh, please drive faster. | 开快点好吗 |
| [15:12] | I’m bleeding out… | 我的… |
| [15:13] | of my scrotum. | 阴囊在喷血咧 |
| [15:15] | Where in the world did you get the idea | 你是从哪来的想法 |
| [15:17] | to shave your pubic hair into a heart? | 要把阴毛剃成爱心的啊 |
| [15:19] | I read about it in a magazine. | 我在杂志上看到的 |
| [15:21] | What magazine? | 哪个杂志 |
| [15:22] | Marie Claire. | 《嘉人》杂志 |
| [15:24] | Doesn’t look much like a heart. | 看起来也不像心 |
| [15:26] | Well, it’s bleeding like one. | 但像心一样在流着血可以了吧 |
| [15:31] | Oh. Oh, my God. | 老天爷啊 |
| [15:32] | This is the end. | 我要死啦 |
| [15:33] | I’m seeing lights. | 我看到奇怪光芒了 |
| [15:34] | You’re not dying. | 你不是要死掉 |
| [15:36] | We’re getting pulled over. | 只是被警察拦下而已 |
| [15:37] | Oh, nice job, lead foot. | “干得好”啊 快车手 |
| [15:40] | Do you want to keep your other ball? | 你还想保留你另一颗蛋吗 |
| [15:43] | Evening, ma’am. | 女士 晚上好 |
| [15:44] | Do you know why I pulled you over? | 知道为什么拦你下来吗 |
| [15:45] | I know I was speeding, | 我知道我超速了 |
| [15:46] | but I have a very good excuse. | 但是我有个很好的理由 |
| [15:48] | Is that so? | 是吗 |
| [15:49] | Show him, Alan. | 艾伦 给他看看 |
| [15:50] | What? No! | 什么 不要 |
| [15:51] | Show him. | 快给他看 |
| [15:54] | Oh, sweet mother of God! | 哇靠 我的老天爷啊 |
| [15:58] | Is that a heart? | 那是个爱心吗 |
| [16:02] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [16:07] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [16:08] | Wha…? Alan, no. | 什么 艾伦 不要 |
| [16:14] | Sorry. What’s… what’s going on? | 抱歉 怎么啦 |
| [16:16] | You’re not going to believe this. | 你不会相信这个的 |
| [16:17] | My business partner just found a factory. | 我的生意伙伴找到了工厂 |
| [16:19] | We can start production on my line immediately. | 我们能立刻开始生产我们的服饰了 |
| [16:22] | That’s great. | 那很好啊 |
| [16:24] | Congratulations. | 恭喜你 |
| [16:25] | Oh, my God, this is so exciting. | 天啊 我好兴奋啊 |
| [16:27] | We leave for China tomorrow. | 我们明天就得飞中国一趟 |
| [16:30] | Tomorrow? | 明天吗 |
| [16:32] | Oh, you know what? Wait… | 你等等 我看看 |
| [16:35] | I’m gonna be in Japan | 我两周后 |
| [16:37] | in two weeks on business. | 要去日本出差 |
| [16:40] | I could hop over to China. | 我可以顺道过境中国啊 |
| [16:41] | We could get some kung pao chicken, | 我们可以一起吃个宫保鸡丁 |
| [16:42] | maybe adopt a baby. | 顺便领养个中国娃之类的 |
| [16:45] | Kung pao chicken is such a commitment. | 一起吃宫保鸡丁这承诺有点重大啊 |
| [16:49] | Ah, wait. | 等等 |
| [16:50] | In two weeks, I have to be back here. | 但两周后 我就回来了 |
| [16:53] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:54] | Oh, how about the week of the tenth? | 那10号那周呢 |
| [16:56] | I have a tech conference in Austin. | 我在奥斯丁有个科技大会 |
| [16:58] | You could come with me. | 你可以一起来啊 |
| [16:59] | Oh. Let me check. | 我看看 |
| [17:00] | I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a tech conference, | 我不知道你去过科技大会没有 |
| [17:02] | but picture a comic book convention with nerdier guys. | 就想像一个漫画大会 但是成员更宅就对了 |
| [17:05] | You would be their queen. | 你去了肯定就像女皇一样 |
| [17:09] | Ah, no, that won’t work. | 这个就算了吧 |
| [17:12] | How about first week in May? | 五月的第一周呢 |
| [17:13] | I can do the second. | 第二周我有空 |
| [17:15] | And I can’t. | 但我没空 |
| [17:19] | This was a lot easier when we were both broke. | 我们两个都一穷二白时 一切都简单多了 |
| [17:21] | It was. | 的确 |
| [17:24] | How about this? | 这个呢 |
| [17:26] | Are you free for sex in 30 seconds? | 你30秒后 有空做爱吗 |
| [17:29] | I have an opening. | 我有空哦 |
| [17:33] | Let me check. | 我看看 |
| [17:35] | Well, I’ll have to move | 我得改变一些日程 |
| [17:37] | a few things around, but yes, I am. | 但是没问题 我能来 |
| [17:47] | How you doing? | 你还好吗 |
| [17:48] | I’m high, | 我又亢奋[止疼毒品] |
| [17:49] | humiliated and hairless. | 又觉得羞耻 又无毛 |
| [17:53] | I’m sorry I ruined Valentine’s Day. | 抱歉我毁了我们的情人节 |
| [17:55] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [17:56] | Well, I wanted it to be special because, you know, | 我一直很希望带你过得特别的情人节 |
| [17:59] | I haven’t always been the best boyfriend, | 因为我一直都不是最佳男友 |
| [18:02] | or even a good boyfriend. | 也算不上好男友 |
| [18:05] | Or even an adequate boyfr… | 连一个还行的男友都… |
| [18:07] | Feel free to stop me at any time. | 你随时可以打断我的啊 |
| [18:10] | I’m just teasing you. | 我只是在跟你闹着玩啦 |
| [18:12] | The fact that you even tried means everything to me. | 你有这个心我就已经很开心了啊 |
| [18:14] | – Really? – Really. | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [18:16] | And driving 95 miles an hour behind a police escort? | 而且警车护送 以每小时95英里的速度飙车 |
| [18:19] | Best Valentine’s Day ever. | 最棒的情人节了好吗 |
| [18:24] | Oh, hey, you know, uh… | 你知道吗 |
| [18:25] | we could pull this curtain. | 我们可以拉上这帘子 来… |
| [18:28] | Seriously? | 你确定想要吗 |
| [18:29] | They just put ten stitches in your junk. | 你那里刚缝了10针呢 |
| [18:32] | I thought we could take advantage of the swelling. | 手术后肿胀这副作用不要浪费嘛 |
| [18:36] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:42] | You ready? | 要来了吗 |
| [18:47] | Ow! Don’t-don’t stop. | 疼啊 但别停 |
| [19:02] | I know I’m going to regret asking this, but… | 我知道我一定会后悔问这个问题 但… |
| [19:05] | how’s your ball? | 你的蛋蛋还好吗 |
| [19:08] | Throbbing and green. | 又疼又发青 |
| [19:10] | So what’s going on with you and Kate? | 那你跟凯特怎么样了 |
| [19:12] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [19:14] | It’s going to be hard to make a relationship work | 要跟她维系一段感情很不容易呢 |
| [19:16] | with her traveling all around the world. | 她现在要满世界到处飞 |
| [19:17] | Mmm, that’s rough. | 的确是不容易 |
| [19:19] | Not “tetanus shot in your sack” rough, but… | 虽然比不上”蛋蛋打了针破伤风”这么惨烈… |
| [19:24] | Hey, how’s she affording all this? | 她怎么付得起这些钱啊 |
| [19:26] | She’s got some new investor with a lot of money. | 她找了个有钱的新投资者 |
| [19:28] | Oh, that’s nice. | 那挺好的啊 |
| [19:29] | Yeah, except I don’t know if I’m ever gonna see her again. | 但我不知道还有没有机会见到凯特了 |
| [19:32] | If you don’t leave it alone, it’ll never heal. | 你要是老在那磨蹭 它永远也好不了 |
| [19:37] | If you don’t stop doing that, | 你再不住手 |
| [19:38] | I’m gonna make you wear a cone around it. | 我就让你戴个隔离罩 |
| [19:44] | What a stroke of luck, you finding that factory in China. | 你找到那个在中国的厂家真是太好运了 |
| [19:47] | I know. | 对啊 |
| [19:51] | Sometimes fate steps in and makes things happen. | 有时命运之神眷顾 让你美梦成真 |
| [19:55] | I’m not gonna lie– | 但说实话 |
| [19:56] | I wish the timing were better. | 如果时间点不是现在有多好 |
| [19:58] | Well, if he really loves you, he’ll wait for you. | 如果他真的很爱你 他就会等你 |
| [20:02] | How did you know I have a boyfriend? | 你怎么知道我有男朋友 |
| [20:04] | Oh, a pretty girl like you? | 你这么个美人 |
| [20:05] | You’d have to have a boyfriend. | 肯定是有男朋友的啦 |
| [20:08] | He’s amazing. | 他人超棒的 |
| [20:09] | I’m crazy about him. | 我为他痴迷 |
| [20:11] | Been there. | 我也有过 |