| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Hi, future me. | 嗨 将来的我 |
| [00:08] | This is 17-year-old you in your dorm room at M.I.T. | 我是十七岁的你 在麻省理工大学宿舍 |
| [00:14] | 著名校友有巴兹·奥尔德林 科菲·安南 波士顿吉他手汤姆·朔尔茨 | |
| [00:14] | Yeah, that’s right. | 你没看错 |
| [00:15] | I did my own Pop Up Video. | 我弄了弹出式视频 |
| [00:17] | How cool is that? | 超酷的 对不对 |
| [00:21] | Still is. | 酷劲依旧 |
| [00:23] | Hopefully you’re watching this from your implanted brain chip, | 希望你是从你大脑植入芯片中看到我的 |
| [00:26] | aka the “Tran-Schmidter,” | 即”转施密特” |
| [00:29] | running proprietary software | 运行专利软件 |
| [00:31] | developed by Walden Schmidt Enterprises. | 由沃顿·施密特企业开发 |
| [00:34] | Failing that, | 如果失败了 |
| [00:35] | hopefully you’ve at least seen a girl naked. | 希望你至少能有幸见到女人的裸体 |
| [00:38] | Hey, what you watching? | 你在看什么 |
| [00:40] | Check this out. | 快来看啊 |
| [00:41] | I had all my old videotapes digitized, and I found this. | 我把旧录像带数字化时 发现了这个 |
| [00:44] | Oh, my God, is that you? | 天啊 那是你吗 |
| [00:47] | You were nothing more than an awkward, | 你不过就是个笨手笨脚 |
| [00:49] | pimply-faced, goofy-looking teenager. | 满脸疙瘩 傻里傻气的青少年 |
| [00:55] | We would’ve been best friends. | 完全可以跟当时的我做死党 |
| [00:59] | Yeah, I made it when I was at M.I.T. | 是啊 这是我念麻省理工时录的 |
| [01:01] | It outlines everything I wanted to accomplish | 里面列出了我35岁之前 |
| [01:03] | by the time I turned 35. | 想要实现的目标 |
| [01:04] | Oh, I did a similar thing. | 我也干过这种事 |
| [01:06] | Well, it wasn’t so much a video as, uh, | 但不是录像 |
| [01:07] | something I wrote on a cocktail napkin. | 我写在了酒巾上 |
| [01:09] | “Don’t kill yourself. It’ll get better.” | “不要自杀 会好起来的” |
| [01:12] | I was so naive. | 当时太天真了 |
| [01:16] | I hope you’ve accomplished your first goal, | 希望你已经实现了第一个目标 |
| [01:18] | as previously stated, of seeing a girl naked. | 正如刚才说过 看见女人的裸体 |
| [01:21] | And I’m talking in person. | 一定要面对面那种才算哦 |
| [01:24] | Which I did a short 18 months later. | 我在短短18个月后做到了 |
| [01:27] | Goal number two: | 目标二 |
| [01:28] | Create your own software company | 创建自己的软件公司 |
| [01:30] | that revolutionizes the industry standard | 实现信息转移极速化 |
| [01:32] | for information transferral at blinding speeds. | 发动行业标准革命 |
| [01:40] | Hear that? | 听见了吗 |
| [01:41] | 56k dial-up. | 56k的速度拨号上网 |
| [01:43] | In four hours, | 四小时后 |
| [01:44] | I will have downloaded the entire Spice Girls album. | 整张辣妹组合的专辑就下好了 |
| [01:48] | 告诉你我想要什么 我最最想要的是什么 | |
| [01:56] | After building your company from the ground up, | 白手起家建立公司之后 |
| [01:59] | you will sell it for… | 你要卖个好价钱 就… |
| [02:01] | one million dollars. | 一百万吧 |
| [02:06] | Well, that didn’t happen. | 这个没做到 |
| [02:08] | I sold it for one billion dollars. | 因为我卖了十亿 |
| [02:13] | Yeah, baby! | 真有你的 宝贝 |
| [02:17] | Don’t. | 别这样 |
| [02:18] | Just… just don’t. | 就是 别这样 |
| [02:22] | Number three: | 目标三 |
| [02:23] | live in a beautiful beach house. | 住一套海滩豪宅 |
| [02:26] | Nailed it. | 搞定 |
| [02:27] | With the love of your life. | 和一生挚爱一起生活 |
| [02:29] | Nailed it. | 搞定 |
| [02:33] | Although it is kind of hard to meet someone | 尽管这条有点困难 |
| [02:36] | when you spend 20 hours a day in the computer lab. | 因为你每天有20小时泡在机房里 |
| [02:46] | Phyllis is now Phil. | 菲利斯现在变性 改叫菲尔了 |
| [02:48] | He’s a commercial fisherman in Baton Rouge. | 他跑去巴吞鲁日当鱼夫 |
| [02:51] | But I’m sure all this hard work will be worth it someday | 我相信今日所有的辛苦都是值得 |
| [02:54] | when you’re watching this video with your beautiful wife, | 以后你看这段录像时 你会拥有一位美娇妻 |
| [02:56] | four kids, two dogs and robot butler | 四个孩子 两条狗 还有一个 |
| [03:00] | developed by Walden Schmidt Enterprises. | 由沃顿·施密特企业开发的机器人管家 |
| [03:03] | Hello, Walden. | 沃顿 你好 |
| [03:05] | Would you like a root beer? | 想喝沙士吗 |
| [03:08] | Heck, yeah. | 当然想 |
| [03:12] | Where did my life take such a wrong turn? | 我的人生从何时开始走错方向 |
| [03:15] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呀 |
| [03:17] | I don’t have any of those things that matter. | 重要的东西我一个都没有 |
| [03:19] | No wife, no kids. | 没老婆 没孩子 |
| [03:21] | All I have is you. | 只有你 |
| [03:29] | We could adopt. | 我们可以领养啊 |
| [03:46] | …video with your beautiful wife, | 你会拥有一位美娇妻 |
| [03:47] | four kids, two dogs and robot butler | 四个孩子 两条狗 还有一个 |
| [03:51] | developed by Walden Schmidt Enterprises. | 由沃顿·施密特企业开发的机器人管家 |
| [03:56] | What are you doing up? | 你怎么起来了 |
| [03:57] | Alan is sleep-sobbing again. | 艾伦又在边睡边哭了 |
| [04:01] | You still watching this thing? | 你还在看这个啊 |
| [04:03] | I’m a failure, Lyndsey. | 我就是个失败者 林赛 |
| [04:05] | No, you’re not, Walden. | 不 你不是 沃顿 |
| [04:07] | Although you looked like one in college. | 虽然你大学时看着很像 |
| [04:11] | Yeah, I kind of did. | 是有点像 |
| [04:12] | I mean, I wouldn’t have slept with you, | 连我都不会想和当时的你上床 |
| [04:14] | and I slept with everybody. | 而我在大学的时候可是谁的床都上 |
| [04:17] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [04:18] | I even slept with the janitor in my dorm. | 我甚至上了我们宿舍门卫的床 |
| [04:21] | Is this supposed to cheer me up? | 你这是想让我开心点吗 |
| [04:22] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [04:25] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [04:25] | Look, when I was 18, | 我18岁时 |
| [04:27] | I was convinced I was gonna marry Axl Rose | 我坚信自己会嫁给艾克索·罗斯 |
| [04:30] | and have my own TV show. | 然后拥有自己的电视节目 |
| [04:31] | Well, they don’t give TV shows to people | 人们不会因为你长得好看 |
| [04:33] | just ’cause they’re good-looking. | 就随便让你做电视节目 |
| [04:40] | You know, Walden, just ’cause your life | 沃顿 你的生活没有 |
| [04:42] | didn’t turn out the way you thought, | 如你所愿 |
| [04:43] | doesn’t mean it’s not a success. | 并不意味着你不成功 |
| [04:45] | I mean, how many people can say they’re a billionaire? | 多少人敢说自己是亿万富翁啊 |
| [04:48] | 1,226. | 1226个 |
| [04:51] | Seriously? | 真的吗 |
| [04:53] | That’s a lot more than I thought. | 比我想象得多多了 |
| [04:56] | Do you know them all? | 你都认识吗 |
| [04:57] | Well, there’s not a club or anything. | 又没有个俱乐部之类的 |
| [05:00] | But Buffett does host a poker game once a month. | 可是巴菲特每个月都举办扑克牌游戏 |
| [05:03] | Last time, I won Guatemala. | 上次 我赢了整个危地马拉国 |
| [05:06] | And then I lost at the end | 最后我输给 |
| [05:07] | to the woman who invented Spanx. | 发明塑身内衣的那女人了 |
| [05:11] | Money doesn’t mean anything | 如果没有人可以分享 |
| [05:12] | if I don’t have anyone to share it with. | 那再有钱也没什么用 |
| [05:14] | Oh, I get that. | 我明白 |
| [05:15] | But you’re not going to meet anybody | 但你坐在沙发上自怜自哀 |
| [05:18] | sitting on your couch feeling sorry for yourself. | 是不可能会遇见心仪的人的 |
| [05:21] | Are you? | 还是有可能 |
| [05:24] | -I guess not. – Damn. | -不可能 -没上位成功 |
| [05:28] | I just don’t get relationships. | 我真搞不懂男女关系 |
| [05:30] | Nobody does. | 没人能搞懂 |
| [05:31] | They’re scary and messy. | 又可怕又复杂 |
| [05:34] | And sometimes you get involved with somebody | 有时候你会和自己不喜欢的人 |
| [05:37] | you don’t really like. | 搞上关系 |
| [05:38] | And… one day, you find yourself peeing on a stick, | 没准某天你发现自己用验孕棒验尿 |
| [05:42] | and the plus sign shows up | 两条杠杠出现时 |
| [05:44] | and you have to give up your dreams of being an actress | 你不得不放弃做演员的梦想 |
| [05:45] | so you can raise a kid who can only do math | 就为了养大你那个只有在 |
| [05:47] | when he’s figuring out the cost of weed. | 算大麻价格时才会算术的孩子 |
| [05:51] | Pep talks really aren’t your strong suit, are they? | 你实在是不擅长鼓励别人 是吧 |
| [05:55] | I’m just saying, | 我只是说 |
| [05:56] | things happen, but you can’t give up. | 世事无常 你不能就此放弃 |
| [05:59] | I mean, if I had stopped looking, | 要是我当年自暴自弃 |
| [06:00] | I never would’ve found my amazing, wonderful boyfriend. | 就不可能遇见我这个又好又棒的男友了 |
| [06:05] | Oh, you’re cheating on Alan? | 你背着艾伦和别人好上了吗 |
| [06:12] | Uh, would you eat expired pudding? | 你会吃过期的布丁吗 |
| [06:24] | No. | 不吃 |
| [06:25] | Oh, good. Then I can have it. | 好 那我吃了 |
| [06:27] | Knock yourself out. | 尽管吃吧 |
| [06:29] | What you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [06:30] | I’m looking for this card, and I can’t… | 我在找一张名片 怎么都找不到 |
| [06:33] | Ah, there it is. | 在这里 |
| [06:34] | “Emily’s Elite and Discreet Introductions.” | “艾米丽精英私密介绍服务” |
| [06:38] | Oh, fancy call girls. I like it. | 哇 高级应召女郎 我喜欢 |
| [06:41] | No, it’s a dating service. | 不 这是个交友相亲的服务 |
| [06:43] | Oh, right. | 好吧 |
| [06:44] | “Dating service.” Wink-wink. | “交友相亲的服务” 才怪 |
| [06:47] | You know, I want to like you, | 我努力想要喜欢你 |
| [06:48] | but sometimes you make it so hard. | 但实在是喜欢不起来 |
| [06:52] | “Substantial relationships for substantial people.” | “本钱丰厚的你 值得丰厚的爱” |
| [06:55] | Ah, big girls. | 肥妞 |
| [06:59] | Get your smoosh on. | 准备大干一场 |
| [07:02] | They throw mixers for single rich people. | 他们安排有钱的单身人士在一起聚会 |
| [07:04] | I wouldn’t think you’d be into that kind of thing. | 我不觉得你会喜欢这种事 |
| [07:06] | You’ve always been a… a “fate” Kind of guy. | 你这人总是比较看重 缘分 |
| [07:08] | Yeah, well, I’m gonna create my own fate. | 这次我要一手打造自己的缘分了 |
| [07:09] | Lyndsey’s right. | 林赛说得对 |
| [07:10] | I’m not gonna find anyone | 在家自哀自怜 |
| [07:11] | sitting around here feeling sorry for myself. | 是找不到心仪的人的 |
| [07:14] | No, you’re not. | 对 是找不到 |
| [07:15] | Are you? | 真的找不到吗 |
| [07:19] | – What? – Nothing. | -什么 -没什么 |
| [07:21] | Hey, uh, can I go along? | 我能跟你一起去吗 |
| [07:22] | No, you have Lyndsey. | 不 你已经有林赛了 |
| [07:24] | I’d be doing it for her. | 我这也是为了她好 |
| [07:25] | Look, I’ll find a rich, 90-year-old woman | 如果我钓到了个多金又心脏不好的 |
| [07:28] | with a bad ticker, | 90岁老太 |
| [07:29] | give her the best three minutes of her life, | 让她体验一次她一生中最爽的三分钟 |
| [07:31] | and then, you know, send her out with a bang… | 然后一”炮”送她上西天 |
| [07:34] | …then spend my inheritance on Lyndsey. | 然后我会把继承的遗产都花在林赛身上 |
| [07:36] | Or whatever’s left after my grief cruise. | 或者我悲痛巡游旅程之后剩下的钱 |
| [07:41] | Again, you make it really hard to like you. | 我对你实在喜欢不起来 |
| [07:45] | I just want a sugar mama. | 我只是想找一个有钱的干妈 |
| [07:47] | Yeah, you have one. | 你已经找到一个了 |
| [07:48] | Her name is Walden. | 她叫做沃尔顿 |
| [07:57] | Walden, we have a great mixer tonight. | 沃尔顿 今晚我们玩得很愉快 |
| [07:59] | I hope you’re ready to meet some substantial women. | 我希望你已经遇到几个不错的姑娘了 |
| [08:01] | Yep, I’m ready to get my smoosh on. | 我已经准备开始大干一场了 |
| [08:06] | I’m sorry. I’m just really nervous. | 抱歉 我是真的很紧张 |
| [08:09] | Don’t be. | 别紧张 |
| [08:09] | Everyone here is rich and looking for love. | 来这儿的人是有有钱又想寻找真爱的 |
| [08:11] | The only woman in this room | 在场唯一一名 |
| [08:13] | who wants you for your money is me. | 看中你的钱的女人 就是我 |
| [08:15] | Happy mingling. | 开心地认识姑娘吧 |
| [08:27] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [08:28] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [08:30] | Trust fund or tech? | 信托基金还是高科技 |
| [08:32] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [08:33] | The way you’re dressed means | 你这身的行头说明 |
| [08:34] | you’re either the beneficiary of a trust fund | 你不是靠信托基金吃饭 |
| [08:36] | or in the tech business. | 就是搞高科技的 |
| [08:37] | Unless you’re working here, | 除非你是在这里打工的 |
| [08:38] | in which case I need another drink. | 如果那样的话 再给我来一杯 |
| [08:39] | Ac-Actually, I’m in tech. | 其实 我是高科技行业的 |
| [08:41] | I started my own company when I was… | 我白手起家开启公司的时候才只有 |
| [08:43] | What do your Fridays look like? | 你一般周五都干什么 |
| [08:45] | Uh, a lot like my Thursdays, just one day later. | 和周四差不多 除了晚一天而已 |
| [08:50] | A sense of humor. | 有点幽默感 |
| [08:51] | Some people find that attractive. | 有些人觉得这点很吸引人 |
| [08:55] | Are you one of them? | 你觉得呢 |
| [08:58] | I love to laugh. | 我喜欢哈哈大笑 |
| [08:59] | Now, I’ve got Friday evenings, | 我周五晚上 |
| [09:01] | Sunday afternoons and ski season. | 周日下午和滑雪季节都有空 |
| [09:03] | How does that work for you? | 你意下如何 |
| [09:04] | What…? So… | 什么 那个 |
| [09:05] | Don’t you want to at least know my name? | 你不想问问我的名字吗 |
| [09:07] | Really? | 你说真的吗 |
| [09:10] | We have to do all this? | 我们非得做完这些过场吗 |
| [09:12] | All right, I’m Sylvia Miller, | 好吧 我叫西尔维娅·米勒 |
| [09:13] | and I’m the CEO of a major pharmaceutical company. | 我是一家大型制药公司的总裁 |
| [09:16] | – Wow, very impressive. – Yes. | -真不错 -是的 |
| [09:18] | Every time you get an erection, you owe me ten dollars. | 你每”举”一次 都欠我十块钱呢 |
| [09:22] | See? Sense of humor. | 看到没 幽默感 |
| [09:23] | Now, Fridays and Sundays. | 周五和周日 怎么样 |
| [09:26] | I just thought maybe we could | 我觉得我们也许可以 |
| [09:27] | spend some time getting to know each… | 花点时间了解一下对方 |
| [09:28] | Nice talking to you. | 很高兴和你聊天 |
| [09:32] | Okay, I’ll put her on the “maybe” pile. | 我还是把她列入”有可能发展”那一堆里吧 |
| [09:34] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [09:35] | How you doing? | 你好吗 |
| [09:36] | Oh, hi. I’m Walden Schmidt. | 你好 我是沃尔顿·施密特 |
| [09:38] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [09:39] | TC Randall. | 缇西·兰德尔 |
| [09:42] | You’re the TC Randall? | 你就是缇西·兰德尔吗 |
| [09:44] | Author of Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries? | 《龙沃顿中学奇遇》的作者 |
| [09:47] | I-I’ve read all your books. | 我读过你所有的书呢 |
| [09:49] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [09:51] | Yeah, I… Who hasn’t? | 当然 谁没读过啊 |
| [09:52] | Grown men. | 成年人 |
| [09:55] | Their loss. | 那是他们的损失 |
| [09:56] | I mean, you’re-you’re an amazing author. | 你是个超级棒的作家 |
| [09:58] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [09:59] | Oh, you know, I do have one question, though. | 不过我还真的有个问题 |
| [10:02] | In-in book three, the dragons inexplicably | 在第三本书里 那些龙令人费解地 |
| [10:05] | lose their ability to breathe fire | 失去了喷火的能力 |
| [10:07] | when clearly, in book two, | 但在第二本书里清楚地提到过 |
| [10:08] | the wizards gave them that ability. | 巫师们给了他们这种能力 |
| [10:09] | Was that a setup for book four | 这是为了第四本书做铺陈 |
| [10:12] | or an oversight? | 还是一个小疏忽 |
| [10:14] | They’re children’s books. | 这些都只是儿童读物 |
| [10:17] | Well, it says on the cover | 书的封面明确写了 |
| [10:18] | they’re for wizards, dragon trainers and kids of all ages. | 适合任何年纪的巫师 驯龙师和儿童阅读 |
| [10:22] | Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. | 你说得对 抱歉了 |
| [10:24] | Um, the dragons lost their ability to breathe fire | 龙是在混沌山洞里失去的 |
| [10:28] | in the Caverns of Chaos. | 喷火本领 |
| [10:30] | Ah, come on. | 拜托 |
| [10:31] | They didn’t even go to the Caverns of Chaos | 解开迷失地图之谜前 |
| [10:33] | until they solved the mystery of the missing map. | 它们根本没去过混沌山洞 |
| [10:36] | All right, you know what? | 好吧 我告诉你 |
| [10:37] | When I wrote those books, I was addicted to painkillers. | 写那些书的时候 我正对止痛药上瘾 |
| [10:41] | They make no sense, but they make me a ton of money, | 书虽然前后矛盾 却让我成了富婆 |
| [10:43] | so cut me some slack. | 所以拜托你多担待了 |
| [10:48] | Probably got the painkillers from the pharmaceutical chick. | 可能是从卖药小妞那儿买的药 |
| [10:54] | So, any luck so far? | 有没有什么收获 |
| [10:55] | No, not yet. | 还没 |
| [10:56] | Oh, well, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [10:57] | There are plenty of women here. | 这儿有很多女人 |
| [10:59] | Well, how about them? | 她们怎么样 |
| [11:00] | Um, Sarah’s oil money, uh, | 莎拉是石油大亨 |
| [11:02] | Stephanie is a tobacco heiress, | 斯蒂芬妮是烟草公司继承人 |
| [11:04] | and Amy had sex with a senator and owns the video. | 艾米跟一位议员有一腿 手里还有上床视频哦 |
| [11:09] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [11:10] | I don’t care how; I care how much. | 我不管手段 只管她有多少 |
| [11:13] | Uh, no. The… woman in the green dress. | 我是说 那个穿绿色裙子的女人 |
| [11:16] | I used to be married to her. | 是我的前妻 |
| [11:19] | Oh, oh, I’m sorry. | 很抱歉 |
| [11:21] | I-I try to avoid situations like this. | 我努力避免类似的情况了 |
| [11:23] | No. You know what? It’s fine. I’ll… | 不用 没关系 |
| [11:25] | I’ll just go say hello. | 我过去打个招呼 |
| [11:27] | Sure. What’s the worst that can happen? | 好的 还能有什么更糟糕的事 |
| [11:29] | She’s already got half your money. | 她已经拿走你一半家产了 |
| [11:41] | Bridget? | 布里奇特 |
| [11:42] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [11:44] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么在这儿啊 |
| [11:47] | Just… drinking a beer, | 喝杯啤酒 |
| [11:49] | losing faith in humanity, | 对人生失去了信心 |
| [11:51] | planning to die alone. | 打算一个人孤苦而终而已 |
| [11:54] | I get it. These people are awful. | 我懂的 这些人太差劲了 |
| [11:56] | The last guy I talked to offered to give me a boob job. | 我刚刚交谈过的一个男的要我去隆乳 |
| [11:59] | A plastic surgeon? | 他是整形医生吗 |
| [12:00] | Unfortunately, no. | 可惜不是 |
| [12:02] | So, you haven’t met anyone, either? | 你也没碰到合适的吗 |
| [12:05] | No. I’m actually thinking about going next door. | 没有 我正在考虑去隔壁看看 |
| [12:07] | The Goldberg Bar Mitzvah seems like it’s going off. | 犹太老板家的成年礼好像差不多了 |
| [12:10] | Mmm. Well, good luck to you. | 祝你好运 |
| [12:12] | I hope you find what you’re looking for. | 祝你找到你要找的东西 |
| [12:16] | So, did I find what I was looking for? | 我找到我要找的东西了吗 |
| [12:19] | Oh, yeah. | 是的 |
| [12:30] | – So… – Yeah. | -所以 -对啊 |
| [12:32] | That happened. | “来”了 |
| [12:35] | Twice. | 两次 |
| [12:36] | Three for me. | 我有三次 |
| [12:38] | – Oh, that’s great. – Yeah. | -太好了 -是啊 |
| [12:40] | The third time, I thought you were screaming | 你第三次叫的时候 |
| [12:42] | just ’cause I was on your hair. | 我以为是我压着你的头发了 |
| [12:46] | – Can I ask you a question? – Sure. | -我能问个问题吗 -当然 |
| [12:48] | What does this mean? | 这意味着什么 |
| [12:50] | It means we both paid $1,000 | 意味着我们各花了一千块 |
| [12:52] | to meet someone we already slept with. | 来见以前就睡过的人 |
| [12:57] | Wait, you paid $1,000? | 等等 你花了一千块吗 |
| [12:59] | I paid $2,000. | 我花了两千块呢 |
| [13:00] | Looks like you got screwed a lot tonight. | 看来你今晚被人占了很多”便宜”啊 |
| [13:05] | The answer is… | 其实我的回答是 |
| [13:07] | I don’t know what it means. | 我不知道这意味着什么 |
| [13:09] | I just know it feels right. | 我只知道这是对的 |
| [13:11] | It does. | 确实是 |
| [13:12] | Which is odd because we just did | 这很奇怪 因为我们刚刚干了 |
| [13:13] | a couple things that were very, very wrong. | 一些非常非常坏的事 |
| [13:18] | So, how do we make sure | 那么我们怎么保证 |
| [13:19] | we don’t end up where we were before? | 这次的结局不会像以前一样 |
| [13:21] | Well, that’s… | 那是 |
| [13:23] | Everything that happened before was your fault, | 以前的一切都是你的错 |
| [13:25] | so it’s kind of up to you. | 所以怎么做就看你的了 |
| [13:29] | I’m a different person than I was when we split up. | 我已经不是分手时的我了 |
| [13:31] | That’s good. | 那很好啊 |
| [13:33] | ‘Cause towards the end, | 因为到了最后 |
| [13:33] | I felt more like your mother than your wife. | 我觉得自己更像你的妈妈 而不是妻子 |
| [13:36] | Oh, you’re a much better kisser than my mom. | 你的吻技比我妈的好太多了 |
| [13:39] | So are you. | 你也不赖 |
| [13:42] | Uh, the truth is… | 事实是 |
| [13:43] | I’ve grown up a lot since then. | 我比当时成熟了很多 |
| [13:46] | I don’t need anyone to take care of me now. | 现在我不需要人照顾我了 |
| [13:48] | So I don’t have to check under the bed for monsters anymore? | 所以我不用检查床底下有没有怪兽了吗 |
| [13:50] | No, of course not. Alan does that. | 当然不用了 艾伦就会检查 |
| [13:53] | Does Alan do this? | 艾伦干这个吗 |
| [13:55] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [14:01] | Uh, he does not do that. | 他不干那个 |
| [14:07] | Can’t believe you guys are back together. | 真不敢相信你们俩复合了 |
| [14:09] | Walden and Bridget. Bridget and Walden. | 沃顿和布里奇特 布里奇特和沃顿 |
| [14:12] | And Alan. | 和艾伦 |
| [14:13] | The… three musketeers. | 三个火枪手 |
| [14:15] | Or three’s a crowd. | 或是第三者插足 |
| [14:16] | Or three’s company. | 或是三人行 |
| [14:17] | Or three strikes and you’re out. | 或是三振你就出局 |
| [14:19] | Okay, okay. Just play nice. | 好了好了 客气点 |
| [14:23] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [14:24] | So, uh, Bridget, uh… | 布里奇特 |
| [14:27] | after you and Walden broke up, | 你和沃顿分手后 |
| [14:29] | didn’t you immediately start dating his best friend | 是不是马上跟他最好的哥们 |
| [14:31] | and business partner, Billy? | 兼商业伙伴比利好上了 |
| [14:33] | I did, but in hindsight, I realize | 是 但后来我发现 |
| [14:35] | it was just a pathetic attempt to stay close to Walden. | 那只是企图接近沃顿的可怜之举 |
| [14:37] | You know what that’s like, don’t you, Alan? | 你也熟悉这种招式吧 艾伦 |
| [14:42] | All right, that was a good one. | 说得好 |
| [14:45] | What are you eating? | 你在吃什么 |
| [14:49] | Oh. It’s a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich | 这是火腿鸡蛋奶酪三明治 |
| [14:50] | with pancakes as the bread. | 还用薄饼替代面包片 |
| [14:52] | I call it a McWalden. | 我叫它麦沃顿 |
| [14:54] | I call it a McBypass. | 我叫它麦超重 |
| [14:57] | It has all the basic food groups: | 这里基本的食物组成都有 |
| [14:59] | protein, dairy… | 蛋白质 奶制品 |
| [15:01] | syrup. | 糖 |
| [15:04] | If you don’t eat properly, | 如果你不控制饮食 |
| [15:05] | your immune system can’t do its job. | 免疫系统就失灵 |
| [15:08] | I have had more colds this year. | 我今年感冒次数增加了 |
| [15:09] | See? I’m gonna pour you a glass | 知道了吧 我给你倒杯 |
| [15:12] | of fresh orange juice to wash that down. | 鲜橙汁来配着吃 |
| [15:14] | She’s doing it again. | 她又来了 |
| [15:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:17] | Telling you what to do. | 对你呼来喝去 |
| [15:20] | She just cares about me. | 她只是关心我 |
| [15:24] | Here you go. | 给你 |
| [15:26] | Okay, I think you’re all done with that. | 好了 这个吃够了 |
| [15:27] | Oh, um, actually, I was not… | 我还没有… |
| [15:28] | – Drink your juice. – Okay. | -喝你的果汁 -好的 |
| [15:30] | And when you’re done, | 喝完后 |
| [15:30] | I want you to go upstairs and make your bed. | 给我上楼去把床铺好 |
| [15:33] | – But Berta does it. – No buts. | -但是波塔会铺的 -没有但是 |
| [15:35] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [15:38] | Run… | 快逃 |
| [15:46] | I’m so… glad that we found each other again. | 我真开心 我们又找到了彼此 |
| [15:50] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [15:54] | I want to try something. | 我想尝试下新花样 |
| [15:56] | Whatever it is, I am in. | 无论是什么 我都加”入” |
| [15:59] | – It’s pretty extreme. – Oh, yay! | -相当极端哦 -好耶 |
| [16:04] | Are you ready to have your mind blown? | 你准备好大开眼界吗 |
| [16:06] | Among other things. | 大开的又何止眼界 |
| [16:12] | Let’s… wait. | 我们 等等 |
| [16:19] | For what? | 等什么 |
| [16:22] | Let’s not have sex tonight. | 我们今晚不做爱 |
| [16:25] | Let’s wait. | 我们等等 |
| [16:28] | I’m not sure that I follow. | 我不太确定是否听懂了 |
| [16:32] | Imagine how much deeper | 想像下如果我们不是 |
| [16:33] | we could connect on an emotional level | 自己欲望的囚犯 我们在精神层面上 |
| [16:36] | if we weren’t prisoners of our pelvis. | 可以结合得有多深 |
| [16:39] | But I like that prison. | 但我喜欢欲望的监狱 |
| [16:41] | I just… I just don’t want to be in solitary. | 我只是不希望被单独囚禁 |
| [16:44] | I’m serious, Walden. | 我是认真的 沃顿 |
| [16:46] | I want sex to be more than just a physical release. | 我希望性爱不仅是身体欲望的释放 |
| [16:49] | I want it to be a special event. | 我希望做爱是特别的 |
| [16:51] | Okay, are we talking special event like… | 这个”特别” 是像 |
| [16:55] | Monday Night Football? | 每周一橄榄球之夜 |
| [16:56] | Or special event like Halley’s Comet? | 还是特别到犹如哈雷彗星 |
| [17:00] | I’ll let you know. | 我会让你知道的 |
| [17:02] | But in the meantime, there’s other stuff we could do. | 但与此同时 我们还有其它事可以做 |
| [17:05] | Oh, I like other stuff. | 我喜欢”其它事” |
| [17:07] | What do you have in mind? | 你有什么建议 |
| [17:09] | We can cuddle. | 我们可以抱抱 |
| [17:12] | Cuddle? | 抱抱 |
| [17:13] | I think it would really help us connect. | 我认为这会让我们更亲近 |
| [17:15] | Let’s try it. | 我们来试试 |
| [17:21] | See? Isn’t this nice? | 瞧 是不是很舒服 |
| [17:25] | This is… so much better than having nasty old sex. | 这比做什么讨厌的爱真是好太多了 |
| [17:39] | So, how do we know when we’re done? | 那我们怎么知道何时”满足”了 |
| [17:46] | There you are, Alan. | 你来啦 艾伦 |
| [17:48] | Come. Join us, please. | 过来 和我们坐一起 |
| [17:55] | Oh, this can’t be good. | 准没好事 |
| [18:00] | So, uh… | 那么… |
| [18:03] | what’s going on? | 有什么事 |
| [18:04] | Walden. | 沃顿 |
| [18:13] | First, I would like to say | 首先 我想说 |
| [18:15] | that I appreciate | 我很感谢 |
| [18:18] | what a great friend you are. | 有你这样一位好朋友 |
| [18:21] | Thank you? | 谢谢 |
| [18:25] | Uh, which makes it hard for me… | 这也让我很难开口说 |
| [18:27] | Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | 不 别说别说 |
| [18:31] | Bridget feels that… | 布丽奇特觉得 |
| [18:33] | We feel… | 我们觉得 |
| [18:35] | that you living here is no longer beneficial | 你继续住在这里不利于 |
| [18:39] | to the goals of this household. | 这个家的发展 |
| [18:43] | Buh-bye. | 慢走不送 |
| [18:47] | Fine, fine. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [18:48] | Let me just say one thing. | 我只想说一件事 |
| [18:50] | Okay, when you guys broke up the first time, | 你们第一次分手 |
| [18:52] | it’s because Bridget thought you were a child. | 是因为布丽奇特认为你是个孩子 |
| [18:54] | Turns out she’s the one who keeps you a child | 原来是她通过控制你的一切言行 |
| [18:56] | by controlling everything you do. | 让你永远是个孩子 |
| [18:58] | Nuh-uh. | 才不是 |
| [19:00] | Mark my words. | 记住我的话 |
| [19:01] | Next, she’ll start withholding sex. | 接下来 她会以不做爱为要挟 |
| [19:06] | You’ll be like a dog begging for a bone. | 你就会变成乞求骨头的可怜狗 |
| [19:08] | Or a dog with a bone. | 或是一骨总是擎天的可怜狗 |
| [19:09] | Either way, a bone will be involved. | 总之 反正就是有骨头 |
| [19:14] | Why is Zippy so upset? | 为什么废柴这么生气 |
| [19:16] | Walden asked him to move out. | 沃顿叫他搬出去 |
| [19:19] | It’s about time. | 也是时候了 |
| [19:20] | Hey, Berta? | 波塔 |
| [19:21] | Yeah? | 什么事 |
| [19:22] | Um, why don’t you have a seat? | 过来坐下好吗 |
| [19:25] | Ah, crap. | 你妹的 |
| [19:37] | Hi, sleepyhead. | 小懒虫 |
| [19:40] | Isn’t this nice? | 这样是不是很好 |
| [19:41] | Just the two of us? | 只有我们俩 |
| [19:44] | I’m a little groggy. | 我有些晕乎乎的 |
| [19:46] | What happened? | 出什么事了 |
| [19:47] | I have a little surprise for you. | 我有个惊喜给你 |
| [19:52] | What is it? | 是什么 |
| [19:57] | My balls? | 我的蛋蛋 |
| [20:00] | No, sweetie. | 不 亲爱的 |
| [20:01] | My balls. | 这是我的蛋[我说了算] |
| [20:15] | How’d it go with your ex-wife? | 和你前妻怎么样了 |
| [20:16] | It was a nightmare. | 噩梦一场 |
| [20:26] | Uh, hello, future Alan Harper. | 你好 未来的艾伦·哈勃 |
| [20:29] | Uh, it’s you from the past, | 我是过去的你 |
| [20:31] | uh, outlining my goals for the next 50 years. | 描述一下50年后的目标 |
| [20:35] | Uh, I hope this finds you still | 希望你依然坐在 |
| [20:38] | on this comfortable couch, | 这张舒服的沙发上 |
| [20:40] | in this lovely beach house, | 住在这间漂亮的海边别墅 |
| [20:42] | um, hopefully, uh, with Walden | 最还 还是和沃顿一起 |
| [20:44] | or whoever moves in after him. | 或是他之后搬进来的谁都行 |
| [20:49] | Nailed it. | 搞定 |
| [20:53] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:55] | I-I said, | 我说 |
| [20:57] | “nailed it.” | 搞定 |
| [21:03] | If you want coffee, go make coffee! | 如果你要喝咖啡 自己去冲 |
| [21:09] | Buffalo! | 水牛 |