| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Okay, salute the sun. | 向太阳致敬式 |
| [00:10] | Deep cleansing breath. | 排毒深呼吸 |
| [00:15] | Release your negative energy. | 驱散你的负面能量 |
| [00:17] | Oh, I’d better not. | 我就算了吧 |
| [00:20] | The only thing holding me together is negative energy. | 维持我的正是我的负面能量 |
| [00:22] | And into downward dog. | 然后是下犬式 |
| [00:28] | Knees straight. | 膝盖伸直 |
| [00:29] | Extend your hips. | 延展你的臀部 |
| [00:31] | I’m trying, I’m trying. | 我尽量了 在努力呢 |
| [00:32] | I can’t… I can’t straighten my legs. | 我的腿没法伸直啊 |
| [00:34] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [00:35] | Let me just help you out here. | 我来帮你一把吧 |
| [00:39] | That’s it. | 就是这样 |
| [00:40] | That’s it. Just let it go. | 就这样 放出来吧 |
| [00:44] | Let it go. | 统统释放出来 |
| [00:47] | Shall I light some candles and put on some music? | 要我点上蜡烛 放音乐吗 |
| [00:52] | We’re doing yoga. | 我们是在做瑜伽啦 |
| [00:53] | It’s none of my business– just put a towel down. | 我不管是干嘛 记得地上垫个毛巾就对了 |
| [00:57] | Oh, Berta, that’s the doorbell. | 波塔 门铃响了 |
| [00:59] | Heard it– not getting it. | 听到了 我才不去开 |
| [01:02] | Yeah, I’ll get it. | 好吧 我去开 |
| [01:03] | I need a break anyway. | 我也需要休息一下了 |
| [01:05] | It’s only been five minutes. | 经常有人这么说我 |
| [01:07] | Uh, not the first time I’ve heard that. | 这话我不是第一次听了 |
| [01:10] | Hey, Al. | 艾伦 |
| [01:11] | Oh, hey, Herb, what brings you by? | 赫伯 你怎么来了 |
| [01:12] | Oh, you, uh, left your wallet at my house. | 你把你的皮夹忘在我家了 |
| [01:15] | I didn’t even notice it was missing. | 我都没意识到我钱包掉了呢 |
| [01:16] | Really? It’s been over a week. | 真的吗 都一周多了呢 |
| [01:21] | Hard to notice something’s missing when you never use it. | 从来不用的东西 很难会发现不见了 |
| [01:25] | – Well, thank you. – Oh, no problem. | -谢啦 -没事 |
| [01:27] | Hey, I want to apologize for my behavior lately. | 我想为我最近的那些举动致歉 |
| [01:29] | I’ve been in a real dark place since Judith left. | 朱蒂丝走了之后 我就有点阴暗 |
| [01:32] | No apologies necessary. | 完全不需要道歉啊 |
| [01:33] | Uh, the important thing is you’re feeling better. | 你人没事比较重要 |
| [01:35] | Well, I’m not putting her nightgown on a pillow | 我没有再把她的睡衣套上枕头 |
| [01:37] | and spooning it anymore so, uh, | 然后抱着它爱抚了 |
| [01:39] | yeah, coming out of the darkness. | 所以应该算是恢复了吧 |
| [01:41] | Oh, God. Oh, God. | 天啊 老天啊 |
| [01:45] | Wh-what is it? Is it your back? | 怎么了 你背后伤到了吗 |
| [01:46] | No, it’s my front. | 是我前面 |
| [01:49] | – I need a Doctor. – Right here. | -我要医生 -我就是啊 |
| [01:50] | No, a real doctor. | 我要的是真正的医生 |
| [01:52] | Right here, right here. | 在这里 在这里呢 |
| [01:53] | Where does it hurt? | 你哪里疼 |
| [01:54] | Uh, it’s my balls. | 是我的蛋蛋疼 |
| [01:56] | I’m gonna have to stick my hands down your pants. | 那我得把手伸进你裤子里触诊一下 |
| [01:59] | For once I’m glad I didn’t make it into medical school. | 唯一一次让我庆幸没考进医校的时刻 |
| [02:02] | Make it stop, make it stop. | 让我止痛吧 拜托你了 |
| [02:05] | A little swampy down here. | 怎么有点湿啊 |
| [02:06] | I wasn’t expecting company. | 我没想到会有人”光临”嘛 |
| [02:09] | Oh, oh, I see. | 我知道原因了 |
| [02:11] | You’ve got a twist in your spermatic chord. | 你的精索扭曲了 |
| [02:14] | I’m gonna have to perform | 我会实施一个 |
| [02:15] | a manual detorsion on your testes. | 睾丸人工扭转矫正法 |
| [02:17] | What does that mean? | 什么意思 |
| [02:18] | Your nuts are in a knot– I need to untie them. | 你的蛋蛋里有个结 我得解结 |
| [02:20] | No, no, no. | 不行不行 |
| [02:22] | Look, it’s either that or your blood supply’ll be cut off. | 要么让我做 要么你无法供血 |
| [02:24] | You might lose a testicle. | 最后可能得切除蛋蛋 |
| [02:26] | Go, man, go. | 那你快弄吧 |
| [02:27] | Uh, remember, righty tighty, lefty loosey. | 记得顺时针转紧 逆时针转松 |
| [02:31] | This reminds me of the summers of my youth. | 这让我想起我青年时期的暑假 |
| [02:33] | I used to pick peaches on my… | 我以前回去帮忙摘桃… |
| [02:35] | Will you just do it?! | 你能快点动手吗 |
| [02:40] | Ah, that feels good. | 真是太爽了 |
| [02:41] | Ah, I love you, Herb. | 我爱死你了 赫伯 |
| [02:44] | We’re gonna need a code word | 我们得弄个暗语 |
| [02:46] | so I stop walking in on this stuff. | 以免我以后又撞见你们的好事 |
| [03:03] | Got the ice. It’s crushed. | 冰块来了 弄成碎冰了 |
| [03:06] | Kind of like your balls. | 跟你的蛋蛋一样 |
| [03:08] | That is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. | 这是我这辈子遭遇过痛的一次了 |
| [03:10] | Says the only guy in this room | 这话居然出自 |
| [03:11] | who wasn’t married to Judith. | 没跟朱蒂丝结过婚的人之口 |
| [03:19] | There you go. | 冰敷吧 |
| [03:20] | And just like that, I’m a grower, not a shower. | 就这一下 就让我大炮变鸟枪了 |
| [03:22] | I know it’s uncomfortable | 我知道这不太舒服 |
| [03:24] | but you need to ice the soreness | 但是你得每隔几个小时 |
| [03:25] | for 20 minutes every couple hours | 就冰敷20分钟来镇痛 |
| [03:27] | and avoid sudden movements. | 而且要避免突然地快速动作 |
| [03:28] | How did this happen? | 怎么会发生这事啊 |
| [03:30] | Well, imagine your testicles | 想象一下你的蛋蛋 |
| [03:33] | hanging like wind chimes. | 就像是挂着的风铃 |
| [03:35] | Most days they sway gently | 大多数时候轻轻摇摆 |
| [03:37] | and you hear a beautiful melody. | 发出优美旋律 |
| [03:40] | Other days the wind kicks up and, | 某些日子狂风吹起 |
| [03:42] | uh, they get twisted | 风铃就缠住了 |
| [03:43] | and it sounds like a washing machine full of cowbells. | 然后声音听起来像塞满牛铃的洗衣机 |
| [03:47] | Am I gonna be okay? | 我不会有事吧 |
| [03:48] | Oh, yeah, don’t worry, but just to make sure | 别担心 但要记得 |
| [03:49] | you should stop by my office tomorrow. | 明天来我办公室一趟 |
| [03:51] | We’ll do an ultrasound. | 我给你照个超音波 |
| [03:52] | Why do you need an ultrasound in a pediatrician’s office? | 你个儿科诊所为啥会需要超音波仪器 |
| [03:55] | Well, when a kid swallows a Matchbox car, | 当小孩吞下了一盒火柴 |
| [03:57] | you need to know whether it’s gonna drive out on its own | 你得确认他能自己拉出来 |
| [03:59] | or has to be airlifted. | 还是得从嘴伸入取出啊 |
| [04:09] | Well, good news. | 好消息 |
| [04:11] | Everything looks completely normal. | 一切都显示十分正常 |
| [04:12] | And speaking as a medical professional, | 而我以一个医学专业人士表示 |
| [04:14] | your junk is extraordinary. | 你得大雕超威猛啊 |
| [04:17] | Uh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [04:18] | I didn’t know whether to examine it | 刚都不知道是该给你检查 |
| [04:20] | or feed it a peanut. | 还是喂花生呢[大象] |
| [04:24] | Okay, I’m gonna… | 我要… |
| [04:25] | I’m gonna put my clothes on now. | 我要穿衣了 |
| [04:27] | You should avoid strenuous activity and I’d, uh, | 你应该避免激烈运动 |
| [04:29] | like to schedule a follow-up in a couple weeks. | 然后排定一下几周后回诊 |
| [04:31] | Sounds good. | 没问题 |
| [04:32] | Hey, while you’re here, uh, | 趁你在这里 |
| [04:34] | can I ask you a little personal advice? | 我能够问你个私人问题吗 |
| [04:36] | You had my hands down my pants on two separate occasions. | 你在两次不同的场合把手伸入我裤裆里 |
| [04:38] | If you were a woman, I’d be meeting your parents now. | 如果你是个女人 我都可以见你爸妈了 |
| [04:41] | Well, you’ve been dumped a lot, right? | 你被人甩的经验挺丰富吧 |
| [04:43] | No. | 没有啊 |
| [04:44] | I mean, what’s “a lot”? I… | 什么叫很丰富啊 |
| [04:46] | Yes, I have. | 好啦 的确是 |
| [04:47] | How did you get over your wife leaving you? | 那你是怎么撑过你妻子离你而去这件事的 |
| [04:52] | You know the five stages of grief? | 你知道悲伤的五个阶段吗 |
| [04:54] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [04:55] | They left out the three best ones– | 他们漏掉了最棒的三个阶段 |
| [04:57] | pot, one-night stands and buying a beach house. | 抽大麻 一夜情 以及买间海边别墅 |
| [05:00] | I don’t know, I’m not sure that’s me. | 我不知道这是不是我的风格呢 |
| [05:03] | You can’t just sit around feeling sorry for yourself. | 但你也总不能老独自自怨自艾吧 |
| [05:05] | I’m getting so good at it. | 这事我倒是越来越拿手了呢 |
| [05:07] | Well, it gets better. | 会好起来的 |
| [05:08] | You just got to get out there and meet somebody new. | 出去外面寻欢作乐 认识新女人 |
| [05:10] | It’s tough– Judith and I were together a long time. | 这不容易啊 朱蒂丝跟我好多年了呢 |
| [05:13] | I get it. | 我明白 |
| [05:14] | She was your world. | 她曾是你的全世界 |
| [05:16] | But trust me. | 但相信我 |
| [05:18] | You will meet someone else to spend | 你会遇到另一个会与你 |
| [05:19] | the rest of your life with. | 共度一生的人 |
| [05:21] | In my case it was Alan. | 而我那个人是艾伦 |
| [05:24] | Yeah, I’m surrounded by sick kids all day. | 我整天只能碰见病恹恹的孩子 |
| [05:26] | Where am I gonna meet someone? | 我能去哪里认识新女人啊 |
| [05:27] | You just got to keep your heart | 只要保持开阔心态 |
| [05:28] | and your eyes open. | 然后睁开双眼就行了 |
| [05:34] | Who are they? | 她们是谁啊 |
| [05:35] | Oh, they’re pharmaceutical reps. | 她们是药厂的代表业务 |
| [05:37] | They come by and give away free drugs. | 她们就来送免费药物的 |
| [05:41] | Yeah, where are you gonna meet someone? | 你说你能去哪碰见新女孩呢 |
| [05:47] | Okay, I got a good feeling about this one. | 我有预感这间很有可能哦 |
| [05:55] | This is my house. | 这间是我家了 |
| [05:58] | Okay, Mr. Driver, we’re good. | 好了 司机先生 我们到了 |
| [06:01] | Bye-bye. | 再见啦 |
| [06:02] | Ladies, I must warn you | 女士们 我得先警告你们 |
| [06:05] | that once you cross this threshold | 一旦踏进了这个门 |
| [06:07] | you waive your right to sobriety, | 你们将放弃清醒 |
| [06:09] | chastity, | 贞洁 |
| [06:11] | dignity, | 尊严 |
| [06:14] | and a couple other “Ity-ties.” | 还有其他装矜持的条件 |
| [06:16] | – Waived. – Yeah, me, too. | -我放弃 -我也是 |
| [06:22] | This is so cool. | 这房子太棒了 |
| [06:23] | Oh, my God, I can’t believe this is happening. | 天啊 真不敢相信会有这种好事 |
| [06:26] | – Oh, it’s happening. – Okay. | -确实有 -好的 |
| [06:28] | What’s the plan– are we, uh, | 计划是什么 我们 |
| [06:29] | are we two twosomes? | 我们各玩各的 |
| [06:30] | Or a foursome? | 还是四个一起玩 |
| [06:33] | Or do you want to have a threesome | 还是你想玩3P |
| [06:34] | with them while I watch? | 我在旁边看着 |
| [06:35] | ‘Cause I’m fine with that. | 因为我完全不介意 |
| [06:36] | I’m not. | 我才不会 |
| [06:38] | Oh, okay, I’ll just take the tall one. | 好 那我要那个高妹 |
| [06:42] | Which one’s the tall one? | 哪个是高妹 |
| [06:46] | I got this. | 我来吧 |
| [06:47] | Okay, ladies. | 女士们 |
| [06:50] | Alcohol is this way. | 酒在这边 |
| [06:51] | We don’t want anyone sobering up and thinking things through. | 我们不想有人能清醒地思考问题 |
| [06:55] | Hey, Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [06:58] | Hey, uh, uh, who are your friends? | 你们的朋友都是谁 |
| [07:01] | Oh, this is Plaxitril | 这是小药片克里斯汀 |
| [07:03] | and she sells Kristen. | 她专卖小女孩 |
| [07:05] | No, no, no, I’m Kristen. | 不 不 我是克里斯汀 |
| [07:06] | I sell Plaxitril. | 我是买药片的小女孩 |
| [07:08] | I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around. | 我确信应该是卖女孩的小药片 |
| [07:12] | It’s, uh, it’s nice to meet you, Kristen. | 很高兴认识你 克里斯汀 |
| [07:16] | Oh, and this is Morgan. | 这位是摩根 |
| [07:17] | I sell boner pills and baby laxatives. | 我卖伟哥和婴儿泻药 |
| [07:22] | – And I’m Herb. – Hi, Herb. | -我是赫伯 -你好 赫伯 |
| [07:24] | Yes, I am. | 我是很好 |
| [07:26] | Okay. Salt, check, uh… | 好的 盐有了 |
| [07:29] | Limes, check. | 莱姆 有了 |
| [07:32] | Tequila, check. | 龙舌兰酒 有了 |
| [07:34] | Two gorgeous ladies. | 两位美女 |
| [07:35] | – Check. – Check. | -到 -到 |
| [07:37] | The doctor’s ready to administer some shots. | 医生准备好打针[喝烈酒]啦 |
| [07:40] | Some body shots. | 从你们身上喝哦 |
| [07:55] | I guess I am gonna masturbate tonight. | 看来我今晚要打飞机了 |
| [08:02] | Hey, did I tell you that I was a gymnast? | 我有告诉你 我是体操运动员吗 |
| [08:05] | – You’re kidding. – Nope. | -真的假的 -真的 |
| [08:08] | I was an alternate for the Olympic team. | 我曾是奥运队的候补员 |
| [08:10] | I can totally put both of my legs behind my head. | 我完全可以把双腿缠到脑后 |
| [08:15] | Watch. | 瞧 |
| [08:16] | U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! | 美国加油 美国加油 |
| [08:21] | I can’t do that, | 我不行 |
| [08:23] | but I can put my entire fist in my mouth. | 但我可以把我的整个拳头塞嘴里 |
| [08:26] | Check it out. | 你们看 |
| [08:29] | – Beautiful and talented. – Thank you. | -美貌与才能兼备 -谢谢 |
| [08:34] | Yup, definitely masturbating. | 没错 不打一发不行了 |
| [08:42] | Hey, Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [08:46] | Hey, uh, you guys having fun? | 你们玩得开心吗 |
| [08:48] | Yeah, I was just getting more tequila. | 开心 我进来拿多点酒 |
| [08:50] | How are you? | 你过得如何 |
| [08:54] | I’m good. Just watching Downton Abbey. | 还行 在看《唐顿庄园》 |
| [08:57] | Big episode. | 关键的一集呢 |
| [08:57] | Someone stole a spoon. | 有人偷了一个勺子 |
| [09:01] | Walden, get the video camera! | 沃顿 把摄像机拿出来 |
| [09:04] | Aw, good idea. | 好主意 |
| [09:06] | There’s gonna be a video. | 要录香艳视频哦 |
| [09:14] | Hey, Alan? Do you got any Crisco? | 艾伦 你有蔬菜油吗 |
| [09:21] | Uh, there’s some olive oil by the stove. | 烤箱旁边有瓶橄榄油 |
| [09:23] | That’ll work. | 那也行 |
| [09:32] | Have you seen my bra? | 你有看见我的胸罩吗 |
| [09:35] | Uh, uh, no. | 没有 |
| [09:36] | Your son hid it somewhere. | 你儿子藏起来了 |
| [09:39] | I’m sorry, my son? | 你说什么 我的儿子 |
| [09:41] | Yeah, Walden. | 对啊 沃顿嘛 |
| [09:47] | Hey, Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [09:52] | Have you seen Plaxitril? | 你有看见小药片吗 |
| [10:09] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [10:10] | Hey, what’s that for? | 这是干什么 |
| [10:13] | You can’t carry a toilet bowl. | 马桶又不能抱着到处走 |
| [10:17] | Are you drunk or hungover? | 你是喝醉了 还是宿醉呢 |
| [10:20] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [10:23] | What happened last night? | 昨晚发生什么事 |
| [10:25] | A lot of gray areas. | 很多记不清了 |
| [10:29] | There was tequila. | 我只记得有酒 |
| [10:36] | A walk on the beach. | 在沙滩上散步 |
| [10:38] | And then the coast guard escorted | 然后海岸警卫队护送 |
| [10:40] | our boat back to shore. | 我们的船回岸边 |
| [10:43] | Wait, your boat? | 等等 你的船 |
| [10:45] | Well, not technically. | 其实不是 |
| [10:48] | I commandeered it. | 是我征用别人的 |
| [10:51] | Apparently Plaxitril has a pirate side effect. | 显然那些药片会有成为海盗的副作用 |
| [10:56] | Top of the morning to you. | 早上好 两位 |
| [11:00] | How are you in such a good mood? | 你怎么会这么精神 |
| [11:02] | Three pills, two pukes and a poo | 三片药 吐两次 拉泡屎 |
| [11:04] | and I’m good to go. | 我就什么事都没了 |
| [11:08] | You know what? You were right. | 你说得对 |
| [11:09] | I can’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. | 我不能坐在原地自怨自艾 |
| [11:12] | Last night was a revelation for me. | 昨晚我发现了新大陆 |
| [11:13] | I have never felt so alive. | 我从不曾觉得如此有活力 |
| [11:15] | Which is ironic, because I believe | 讽刺的是 昨晚有一瞬间 |
| [11:16] | for a few minutes last night I was legally dead. | 我以为我已经死了呢 |
| [11:20] | Now who wants a Bloody Mary? | 谁想来杯血腥玛丽 |
| [11:24] | I’ll have one. | 给我来一杯 |
| [11:27] | Don’t judge me. You stole a boat. | 你没资格说我 你还偷人家船呢 |
| [11:31] | Attaboy. How about you, Walden? | 好小子 你呢 沃顿 |
| [11:33] | I don’t think I can have any more alcohol. | 我觉得我不能再喝酒了 |
| [11:35] | I don’t think I can have any more alcohol. | 我觉得我不能再喝酒了 |
| [11:39] | Man up. I didn’t fix those nuts | 爷们点 我修好你的蛋 |
| [11:41] | so you could grow a vagina. | 不是为了让你变娘们的 |
| [11:46] | – All right, I’ll have one. – Attagirl. | -好吧 我也要 -乖妹子 |
| [12:02] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [12:04] | Wha…? | 干嘛 |
| [12:08] | What time is it? | 现在几点了 |
| [12:19] | 6:30. | 六点半 |
| [12:21] | Is the sun going up or down? | 是早上还是傍晚 |
| [12:32] | Not a clue. | 不清楚 |
| [12:41] | What the hell? | 搞什么 |
| [12:50] | Look who finally woke up. | 瞧瞧谁终于醒了 |
| [12:52] | What’s going on? | 发生什么事了 |
| [12:53] | We’re having a party. | 我们在开派对 |
| [12:55] | How?! | 怎么搞的 |
| [12:57] | Well, Morgan and Kristen came over. | 摩根和克里斯丁过来了 |
| [12:59] | I sent out a couple tweets. | 我就发了几条微博 |
| [13:01] | I posted a couple pictures on Instagram. | 我就上传了几张照片 |
| [13:03] | Bing-bang-boom, here we are. | 然后大家就来啦 |
| [13:06] | I chat on AOL a lot. | 我经常去聊天室聊天 |
| [13:10] | Okay, I think we need to shut this down. | 我觉得该把音乐关掉 |
| [13:13] | Yeah, yeah, we’re fried. | 对啊 我们喝醉了 |
| [13:15] | Oh, here, these’ll fix you up. | 给 吃了这个就没事了 |
| [13:17] | Are you a pharmaceutical rep, too? | 你也是个医药销售吗 |
| [13:20] | No. I’m a junior at Pepperdine. | 不 我是佩珀代因大学的大二生 |
| [13:24] | Pepperdine’s a good school. | 佩珀代因是个好学校 |
| [13:49] | This looks like Charlie Sheen’s house. | 看起来跟查理·辛的家一样 |
| [13:57] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [14:00] | Alan, wake up. | 艾伦 快醒醒 |
| [14:04] | Pepperdine is not a good school. | 佩珀代因不是个好学校 |
| [14:08] | Why am I face down | 为什么我会脸朝下 |
| [14:10] | on the back of the sofa in my underwear? | 穿着内裤躺在沙发上 |
| [14:13] | Because I was kind enough to put underwear on you. | 因为我好心给你穿上了内裤 |
| [14:21] | How did this happen? | 怎么会这样 |
| [14:25] | Herb. | 赫伯 |
| [14:26] | Oh, that guy’s out of control. | 那个家伙完全失控了 |
| [14:29] | This house is a mess. | 屋里乱死了 |
| [14:32] | Maybe I should just cut my losses and sell it. | 也许为了减少损失 我该卖了这房子 |
| [14:34] | Don’t even joke like that. | 千万别开那种玩笑 |
| [14:40] | Oh, Berta, thank God you’re here. | 波塔 感谢上帝你来了 |
| [14:42] | Aw, hell no. | 我不会帮你打扫的 |
| [14:57] | Th-This was a very good idea. | 这个主意不错 |
| [15:01] | Yeah. It’s like an adult diaper for your mouth. | 对 像是给嘴用的成人纸尿裤 |
| [15:08] | Swimming in the ocean is the best cure for a hangover. | 在海里游泳真是治疗宿醉的良药 |
| [15:12] | Well, that and pharmaceutical cocaine. | 对咖啡因也有效 |
| [15:16] | Time to have the talk? | 该跟他谈谈了吧 |
| [15:18] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [15:20] | – Hey, Herb, you got a sec? – Sure. | -赫伯 你现在有时间吗 -有 |
| [15:26] | You’re gonna have to come to us. | 你得到我们跟前 |
| [15:31] | What’s up? | 什么事 |
| [15:47] | Alan has something he wants to tell you. | 艾伦有话要跟你说 |
| [15:53] | You know, you know, Herb, | 是这样 赫伯 |
| [15:55] | we-we, we think you’re a lot of fun. | 我们认为你是个很有趣的人 |
| [16:00] | Yeah, the last few weeks have been a blast. | 过去的这几个周历历在目 |
| [16:02] | It’s been two days. | 只有两天 |
| [16:03] | Oh, good Lord. | 主啊 |
| [16:06] | I guess what we’re saying is | 我们要说的是 |
| [16:08] | maybe it’s time to get back to our regular lives. | 或许应该回归正常生活了 |
| [16:11] | My regular life sucks. | 我的正常生活糟透了 |
| [16:14] | No, it doesn’t. | 不糟 |
| [16:15] | You’re-you’re just upset because Judith left you. | 只是朱蒂丝走了 你难过而已 |
| [16:18] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [16:19] | And I haven’t thought about her at all the last two days. | 而且这两天我一点都不想她 |
| [16:22] | Or weeks. Whichever we agreed is real. | 或者说这几周 怎么说都行 |
| [16:26] | And-and that’s great, but, you know, we just… | 这挺好的 但是我们 |
| [16:27] | we have to slow down a bit. | 应该悠着点 |
| [16:30] | Yeah, just take a break. | 没错 你要休息一下 |
| [16:32] | You know, get back to normal. | 回归正轨 |
| [16:33] | You know, sleep, eat, bathe. | 睡觉 吃饭 洗澡 |
| [16:37] | Pass a field sobriety test. | 做个现场酒测 |
| [16:41] | Wait. Are you kicking me out? | 等一下 你们要赶我走吗 |
| [16:44] | Oh, no… Uh, uh… | 不 不 |
| [16:46] | No, we’re not kicking you out so much as… | 不 我们不是在赶你走 |
| [16:50] | Yeah, we’re kicking you out. | 是 我们是在赶你走 |
| [16:54] | I see. | 我明白了 |
| [16:55] | I mean, it’s nothing personal. | 其实不是针对你 |
| [16:57] | Just, you know, sometimes… | 只是 有时候 |
| [17:00] | Yes, it’s personal. | 对 就是针对你 |
| [17:03] | Well, say no more. | 别再说了 |
| [17:05] | I know when it’s time to go. | 我知道什么时候该走人 |
| [17:09] | I’m-I’m sorry, Herb. | 我很抱歉 赫伯 |
| [17:10] | I said say no more! | 我说了别再说了 |
| [17:19] | Oh, hey. I got new trash cans. | 我买了两个新垃圾桶 |
| [17:23] | They’re wicker. | 柳条编的 |
| [17:25] | What’s the problem? | 不行吗 |
| [17:26] | You can’t puke in wicker. | 不能吐在柳条筐里啊 |
| [17:29] | It’s like using a mesh condom. | 就像用有孔的避孕套 |
| [17:32] | All the important stuff gets through. | 重要的东西都漏出来了 |
| [17:36] | Fine. I’ll return them. | 好吧 我去退货 |
| [17:38] | Of course, I’ll need to hold onto your credit card for a few more days. | 那你的信用卡要多给我用几天 |
| [17:43] | Of course you will. | 你当然会多用几天 |
| [17:45] | Hey, you haven’t talked to Herb lately, have you? | 你最近没跟赫伯说过话吧 |
| [17:47] | No. I texted him a couple days ago, | 没有 几天前我给他发了个短信 |
| [17:49] | but he never responded. | 但他没有回复 |
| [17:51] | Hmm. I called him, invited him over for dinner | 我给他打电话 请他过来吃晚饭 |
| [17:54] | and I never heard back. | 也没收到回信 |
| [17:56] | You think he’s okay, right? | 你觉得他没事吧 |
| [17:57] | Yeah. Why wouldn’t he be? | 是啊 能有什么事呢 |
| [17:59] | Exactly. | 也对 |
| [18:00] | I mean, you know, other than the fact | 我是说 他只是 |
| [18:02] | that his marriage just fell apart. | 婚姻刚刚破裂 |
| [18:05] | And the last time we saw him | 还有上次我们看见他 |
| [18:06] | he was counteracting pharmaceutical cocaine | 他在吸食猫用镇定剂 |
| [18:09] | by snorting cat tranquilizers. | 抵消咖啡因的作用 |
| [18:13] | And then we go kick him out. | 然后我们就赶他走了 |
| [18:15] | Oh, my God, we killed Herb. | 天啊 我们把赫伯害死了 |
| [18:19] | No, no, that’s not true. | 不 不对 |
| [18:21] | You killed Herb. | 是你害死了赫伯 |
| [18:31] | It’s pretty cool that you can track somebody | 通过信用卡就能找到一个人 |
| [18:32] | from their credit card. | 你真是厉害 |
| [18:34] | Yeah. I’d track you if you ever used one. | 要是你用过信用卡 我也能找到你 |
| [18:40] | Alan, Walden, what are you doing here? | 艾伦 沃顿 你们怎么来了 |
| [18:44] | We were worried about you. | 我们挺担心你的 |
| [18:45] | No need. Me and the girls were just about to eat. | 没必要 我和女孩们马上要吃饭了 |
| [18:48] | – Lobster? – No. | -吃龙虾吗 -不是 |
| [18:52] | You’re still partying with the pharmaceutical reps? | 你还跟那些医药代表们在一起吗 |
| [18:54] | They bailed. These chicks came with the room. | 她们走了 跟那个房间一起不属于我了 |
| [18:58] | Okay, Herb, it’s time for the party to end. | 好了 赫伯 派对该结束了 |
| [19:00] | We’re way past partying. Welcome to the freak show! | 我们早就不搞派对了 欢迎参加畸形秀 |
| [19:04] | You’re right about that! | 你参加正合适 |
| [19:07] | Herb, you need help. | 赫伯 你需要帮助 |
| [19:08] | No, no, I don’t. All I need is more Plaxitril | 我不需要 我需要的只是药片 |
| [19:11] | and possibly a hepatitis test. | 或许再来个肝炎测试 |
| [19:15] | So long. | 再见了 |
| [19:21] | And we were worried. | 我们白担心了 |
| [19:33] | Well, if it isn’t Mr. And Mrs. Buzzkill. | 这不是扫兴夫妻档吗 |
| [19:38] | You’re the Mrs. | 你是那位太太 |
| [19:41] | Why are you wearing a diaper? | 你为什么穿着纸尿裤 |
| [19:42] | Saves time. | 节省时间 |
| [19:46] | All right, enough is enough, Herb. | 好了 够了 赫伯 |
| [19:48] | It’s time to put your life back together. | 你的生活该回归正轨了 |
| [19:50] | You need to go home. | 你应该回家 |
| [19:51] | I don’t think so. | 我不回 |
| [19:52] | You see, out there, I’m just Herb, | 在家里我只是赫伯 |
| [19:54] | but here in room 204 at the Budget Motor Inn I’m God. | 但是在汽车旅馆204房 我就是上帝 |
| [19:58] | And nobody tells God what to do. Nobody! | 没人可以对上帝指手划脚 没有人 |
| [20:03] | Judith? | 朱蒂丝 |
| [20:04] | Cut the crap, Herb. Let’s go. | 少废话 赫伯 走吧 |
| [20:06] | Okay. | 好 |
| [20:08] | – I missed you. – Shut up! | -我想你 -闭嘴 |
| [20:15] | You think we did the right thing? | 你觉得我们这样做对吗 |
| [20:16] | Oh, definitely. If he would have kept this up, | 当然了 如果他这样下去 |
| [20:18] | he wouldn’t have lasted a week. | 用不了一周就倒下了 |
| [20:19] | True. Now he’ll only be dead on the inside. | 没错 现在他只是心死了而已 |
| [20:25] | Walk, walk, walk. | 走吧 走吧 |
| [20:26] | Was that sheep wearing lipstick? | 那只羊抹的口红吗 |
| [20:28] | Don’t look back. | 别回头 |
| [20:39] | Well, everything still looks fine. | 一切正常 |
| [20:41] | No more follow-ups? | 不用再来检查了 |
| [20:42] | Nope. Dumbo’s good to go. | 不用了 大象可以上战场了 |
| [20:47] | So how are things with you? | 你最近还好吗 |
| [20:48] | Oh, could not be better. | 好极了 |
| [20:50] | I really appreciate what you and Alan did for me. | 我真的很感谢你和艾伦对我的帮助 |
| [20:52] | That’s what friends are for. | 朋友之间应该的 |
| [20:53] | Plus, Judith and I are back together. | 还有 我和朱蒂丝和好了 |
| [20:55] | – I’m a happy man, Walden. – Nice. | -我很幸福 沃顿 -挺好 |
| [20:57] | Come in. | 进来 |
| [21:00] | Dr. Melnick? | 梅尔尼克医生 |
| [21:01] | – Here’s that chart you asked for. – Thank you. | -这是你要的表 -谢谢 |
| [21:05] | Isn’t that the girl from Pepper… | 这不是佩珀代因毕业的… |