| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:14] | Really? Do you have to do this right now? | 不是吧? 你非得现在打扫? |
| [00:18] | Wow,that’s the first time anyone ever complained | 哇哦 还是头一次有人抱怨 我活儿干多了啊 |
| [00:20] | about me doing too much work around here. | |
| [00:24] | Why don’t you go do that on the deck? | 你怎么不去阳台上练? |
| [00:26] | Because… this is my house. | 因为… 这是我家 |
| [00:28] | I can work out wherever I want. | 我想在哪练就在哪练 |
| [00:30] | Besides,when I do yoga on the deck,the kids on the beach call me gay. | 再说 我要是在阳台上练瑜伽 沙滩上的小屁孩们叫我基佬的 |
| [00:34] | You sure that’s not because you live with a middle-aged man? | 你确定不是因为 你跟个中年男人住一起吗? |
| [00:40] | Morning. | 早啊 |
| [00:41] | Morning. | 早啊 |
| [00:42] | Ooh,a little yoga? | 做瑜伽啊? |
| [00:44] | Yeah,I’m just trying to clear my head. | 恩 我想醒醒脑子 |
| [00:50] | Um,speaking of heads,Buddha’s poking his out of the temple. | 说到头 佛祖的头也从庙里探出来了 |
| [00:54] | You know what? If I lived here alone,it wouldn’t matter. | 知道吗? 要是我一个人住 就没关系了 |
| [00:56] | Right. Sorry. Namaste. | 是哦 不好意思 鞠个合十礼 |
| [01:01] | – What does “Namast” actually mean? – Get out! | – “双手合十”其实到底嘛意思? – 滚! |
| [01:04] | Okay. I’m gonna “nama-not-stay” right here. | 好吧 我这就”快走不留”了 |
| [01:08] | Okay,focus. I want peace… I want serenity… | 好了 专心 我但求平静… 我要宁静… |
| [01:15] | I want a murder weapon. | 我要个凶器 |
| [01:22] | Dude! You need to relax. Do some yoga or something. | 伙计! 别激动 去做点瑜伽什么的 |
| [01:26] | What is that? | 那是什么? |
| [01:27] | It’s a holistic hangover cure. | 用来全面治愈宿醉的 |
| [01:29] | Kale,wheatgrass,three shots of tequila. Cheers. | 甘蓝 麦草 三杯龙舌兰 干杯 |
| [01:34] | You know what? Screw it. I’m gonna stay drunk. | 知道吗? 去他的 我还是继续醉下去好了 |
| [01:40] | Oh,yikes. Think I ate a little too much ginger last night. | 呀 我可能昨晚红发女郎 吃得太多了 Ginger 原本是姜的意思 |
| [01:45] | Oh,you had sushi for dinner? | 你昨晚吃寿司了? |
| [01:48] | Yeah,let’s go with that. | 好吧 就当是吧 |
| [01:52] | It’s crazy,isn’t it? | 真是疯了 |
| [01:52] | We finally get rid of Jake,and now we got another one on our hands. | 我们好不容易摆脱了Jake 现在又来一个 |
| [01:55] | Yeah,about that… What is the long-range plan here? | 是啊 关于这事… 你的长远计划是什么? |
| [01:59] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [02:00] | I always thought we’d spend our golden years together. | 我一直觉得 我俩会一起过退休后的岁月 |
| [02:03] | Eventually,maybe sell the beach house,move to the desert, | 最终嘛 可能会卖了海景别墅 搬到沙漠里去 |
| [02:06] | spend our days toiling in our cactus garden. | 在我们的仙人掌花园里辛勤劳作 |
| [02:11] | Yeah,that sounds swell,but… | 听起来不错 但… |
| [02:12] | Go out to early bird dinners wearing matching jumpsuits… | 穿配套的连体裤一起外出就餐… |
| [02:14] | Okay. Look,I’m not gonna wear a jump… | 好了 听着 我才不要穿连体… |
| [02:16] | All right. You know what? | 好吧 这样 |
| [02:18] | Let’s try this another way. | 我换种方式问 |
| [02:20] | Uh,in your romantic fantasy of our future,where is Jenny? | 在你对我们未来的浪漫幻想中 Jenny是个什么角色? |
| [02:25] | She’ll spend Christmas with us, | 她会过来和我们过圣诞节 |
| [02:27] | but we’re gonna want our alone time. | 但我们会想多些二人世界 |
| [02:29] | Okay,let’s focus on that word “alone. | 好 说到二人世界 |
| [02:32] | Having house guests is the best. | 有客人留宿当然很好 |
| [02:34] | You know,you get excited to see them, | 就是 你见到他们会很兴奋 |
| [02:36] | you put out the fluffy towels,you hold your farts,everything’s nice… | 把上好毛巾给他们用 憋住不放屁 一切都很美好… |
| [02:41] | but,eventually,you have to fart. | 但你最终还是要放屁的 |
| [02:45] | Here’s what you do. | 你可以这么着 |
| [02:46] | Uh,you go out on the deck,and pretend to look at the ocean, | 走到阳台上 假装看大海 |
| [02:49] | wait for a big wave and when it breaks,so do you. | 等过来一个大波浪 浪下去时 你也顺着下吧 |
| [02:56] | Alan,I’m putting in a home gym. | Alan 我要建家庭健身房 |
| [02:58] | And it’s either going in Jenny’s room or Alan’s room. | 反正不是用Jenny的房间 就是用Alan的房间 |
| [03:01] | It’s your call. | 你自己决定 |
| [03:02] | Bitch be gone. | 这小贱人得走啊 |
| [03:15] | Two And a Half Men Season 11 Episode 2 | 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo 好汉两个半 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo |
| [03:18] | Here we go. | 走起 |
| [03:20] | An appletini a day keeps the doctor away. | 日饮苹果马提尼 大夫通通都远离 |
| [03:24] | Cute. And what keeps Alan away? | 真伶俐 那什么能让Alan远离? |
| [03:26] | You. | 你 |
| [03:27] | Touch . Why am I here? | 说得好 找我来干嘛? |
| [03:31] | Oh,I just thought we could get together. | 我就想一起坐坐 |
| [03:32] | Maybe find out what’s going on in each other’s lives. | 交流下彼此的生活状况 |
| [03:35] | There’s never anything going on in your life,Alan. | 你从来没什么生活可言 Alan |
| [03:38] | Okay,you start. | 那行 你先说 |
| [03:41] | All right,let’s see… | 好吧 我想想… |
| [03:42] | Well,my boyfriend Marty has just moved in. | 我男朋友Marty刚搬进来 |
| [03:45] | Moved in? That’s a little fast. | 搬进来? 有点太快了吧 |
| [03:47] | He’s 91 and a half. | 他都91岁半了 |
| [03:48] | He doesn’t do anything fast. | 他做什么事都快不起来 |
| [03:50] | So you two sleep in the same room? | 那你俩睡一个房间? |
| [03:52] | If you’re trying to find out if we have sex,yes,we do. | 如果你是想问我们有没有做爱 答案是有 |
| [03:54] | Frequently and nastily. | 频繁而且下流 |
| [03:57] | Good God! The man is in a wheelchair. | 上帝啊! 那家伙都坐轮椅了 |
| [03:59] | How do you think he got there? | 你觉得他是怎么坐上的? |
| [04:02] | No,I was asking if your guest room is available. | 不 我是问你的客房空着吗? |
| [04:05] | Darling,I-I would love for you to come stay with me, | 亲爱的 我很想你来跟我们住 |
| [04:08] | but with Marty there now,it’s-it’s impossible. | 但Marty已经搬进来了 那就不可能了 |
| [04:10] | Oh,not me. Jenny. | 哦 不是我 是Jenny |
| [04:12] | Oh,Jennifer can move in. | 哦 Jennifer能搬进来 |
| [04:14] | Wait. Why can she move in and not me? | 等等 为什么她能搬进去而我不行? |
| [04:17] | Darling,if you were a child,this would be one of those situations | 亲爱的 如果你还是个孩子 在这种情况下 |
| [04:20] | where I would give you five dollars to shut up. | 我会给你5块钱叫你闭嘴 |
| [04:24] | Well,I’m not a kid anymore,Mom. | 可我已经不是孩子了 妈妈 |
| [04:25] | How’s $20 sound? | 20块怎么样? |
| [04:27] | No,I want to have this conversation. | 不 我想和你谈谈这事 |
| [04:28] | – Forty. – We’re done. | – 40块 – 谈话结束 |
| [04:34] | All right,I’m out of here. | 好了 我要走了 |
| [04:36] | Don’t be a stranger,Jenny. | 咱别就此变陌生了 Jenny |
| [04:39] | I me,I know that you are one but that didn’t stop me from letting you stay here. | 当然对我来说你是陌生人 可我还是让你留下了 |
| [04:45] | And that didn’t stop me from throwing up in your… | 我也还是吐得你满… |
| [04:48] | Ah,you know,you’ll figure it out. | 算了 你迟早会发现的 |
| [04:51] | Um,h-have you got everything? | 东西都带齐了吗? |
| [04:52] | Yeah,I think so. | 恩 应该带齐了 |
| [04:54] | There’s a girl in my room,uh,Tara,Tanya… | 我房里有个女孩 Tara Tanya之类… |
| [04:58] | I don’t really know what the hell her name is. | 不知道她具体叫什么 |
| [05:00] | It’s tattooed right above her ass. | 名字纹在她屁股上 |
| [05:02] | Anyway,when she wakes up,will you give her this for cab fare? | 随便啦 反正等她醒了 能把这钱给她打的吗? |
| [05:05] | And uh,uh… tell her I,”Mackenzie,” will call her if I get back from the Congo. | 告诉她 “Mackenzie” 也就是我 如果从刚果回来 会打给她的 |
| [05:14] | See you. | 再见了 |
| [05:16] | – Bye. – Take care. | – 拜 – 多保重 |
| [05:18] | Can you believe that? | 你能相信吗? |
| [05:20] | I know. A Harper left this house voluntarily. | 我知道 居然会有姓Harper的 自愿离开这房子 |
| [05:25] | And gave me money. | 还给了我钱 |
| [05:34] | Hi,Alan. | 嗨 Alan |
| [05:35] | Lyndsey. This is a surprise. | Lyndsey 真是稀客 |
| [05:37] | I know; I-I’m sorry. | 我知道 我很抱歉 |
| [05:39] | I just need to talk to you in person. | 我想找你当面谈谈 |
| [05:41] | Oh,yeah,yeah. Come on in. | 行啊 行啊 进来吧 |
| [05:42] | Are we alone? | 家里没人吗? |
| [05:43] | Never! | 从来不可能! |
| [05:47] | Hi,Walden. | 嗨 Walden |
| [05:49] | Can we talk in private? | 我们能私下谈谈吗? |
| [05:51] | Oh,sure,let’s go in my room. | 当然 去我房间吧 |
| [05:52] | Oh,uh,hold on a second. | 哦 等一下 |
| [06:08] | Okay,we’re all set. | 好了 一切就绪 |
| [06:10] | Aw,dude,come on! | 恶 老兄 拜托! |
| [06:14] | So what’s up? | 找我什么事呢? |
| [06:16] | Nipple! | 我奶头! |
| [06:19] | I am so mad at you. | 我好生你的气 |
| [06:21] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [06:21] | Because I-I’m with Larry now. | 因为我已经跟Larry在一起了 |
| [06:23] | He’s smart,handsome,successful… | 他聪明 英俊 还很成功… |
| [06:25] | God,you have a type. | 老天 你标准不低啊 |
| [06:27] | No. When I’m with him,I can’t stop fantasizing about you. | 不是 跟他在一起时 我老忍不住想着你 |
| [06:33] | Okay,I-I-I’m confused. | 好吧 我糊涂了 |
| [06:35] | I’m getting a chubby,but I’m confused. | 我有点勃起 但是好困惑 |
| [06:38] | So you want to get back together? | 你是想复合? |
| [06:39] | Oh,God,no. | 上帝 当然不是 |
| [06:41] | I just want to have sex with you. | 我就想跟你滚床单 |
| [06:42] | Why? And why am I asking? | 为什么? 这时候我干嘛问这个? |
| [06:46] | I don’t know. I just know that I do. | 我不知道 我就知道我要你 |
| [06:49] | Of course. Forbidden fruit is so much sweeter. | 当然了 禁果肯定是更甜美的 |
| [06:53] | Go on,pluck my forbidden fruit. | 来吧 来采我的禁果 |
| [06:57] | Pop my cherry. Peel my banana. | 摘我的小樱桃 剥我的香蕉皮 |
| [07:02] | Squeeze my fuzzy peaches. | 捏我毛茸茸的桃子 |
| [07:07] | In my fantasy… | 在我的幻想中 |
| [07:08] | you don’t talk. | 你是不说话的 |
| [07:15] | Bye,Walden. | 再见 Walden |
| [07:16] | Bye,Lyndsey. | 再见 Lyndsey |
| [07:22] | Um,is it hot in here or did I just have sex? | 是屋里特别热 还是我刚嘿咻完? |
| [07:26] | Did you guys get back together? | 你们复合了? |
| [07:27] | Better. | 比那更好 |
| [07:28] | She wants nothing from me except the old Harper harpoon. | 除了我的金箍棒 她啥也不要 |
| [07:37] | Know what I’m sayin’? | 懂我的意思不? |
| [07:39] | How is it possible that you’re having sex and I’m not? | 你有性生活而我没有 这怎么可能呢? |
| [07:43] | Well,apparently,her perfect boyfriend Larry has an Achilles heel… | 显然 她的完美男友也有弱点 |
| [07:47] | and it’s on his penis. | 弱点就在他的鸡鸡上 |
| [07:56] | have you guys seen Mackenzie? | 你们看到Mackenzie了吗? |
| [07:58] | – She went to Cabo. – Congo. | – 她去卡布了 – 是刚果 |
| [08:01] | – She’s not here. – She’s dead. | – 她不在这里 – 她死了 |
| [08:04] | In the Congo. | 死在刚果 |
| [08:06] | – Sorry,Tanya. – Tara. | – 很抱歉 Tanya |
| [08:10] | Alyssa. | 是Alyssa |
| [08:15] | So… Evy tells me you want to be an actress. | Evy告诉我你想当演员 |
| [08:19] | I figured with my daddy issues,it was either that or stripping. | 鉴于缺乏父爱 我只能要么演戏要么跳脱衣舞了 |
| [08:22] | You’ve certainly got the rack for either one. | 凭你的资质 那两行都能干 |
| [08:25] | Bless your heart. | 你心肠真好 菩萨保佑你 |
| [08:26] | My heart is in a landfill. | 我的原装心肠埋在垃圾场里 |
| [08:29] | This baby belonged to a drunken quarterback from Alabama. | 现在这颗是移植一个 阿拉巴马酒鬼四分卫的 |
| [08:33] | Roll Tide! | 红潮! |
| [08:36] | You know,Marty is a television legend. | Marty是电视界的传奇人物 |
| [08:37] | He created Here Comes Pleshkin. | 他创作了”普希金来了” |
| [08:39] | I love that show. | 我爱死那个节目了 |
| [08:42] | Th-That was a drinking game in college. | 在大学里有个喝酒比赛 |
| [08:44] | Every time someone would yell “Pleshkin! | 每当有人喊普希金 |
| [08:46] | ” I would take a shot. | 我就干掉一杯 |
| [08:48] | I had so much drunken sex because of your show. | 因为你的节目 我有过无数次酒后乱性 |
| [08:51] | It was a piece of crap,but it paid for my first six… | 那节目就是渣渣 可我赚足了养头六个妻子的钱 |
| [08:55] | seven wives. | 是七个 |
| [08:58] | And Pleshkin? Hermaphrodite. | 至于普希金? 他是雌雄同体 |
| [09:00] | Once,he comes in three hours late. | 有一次 他来晚了三小时 |
| [09:03] | I tell him to go screw himself. | 我让他自己草自己去 |
| [09:06] | He says,”Why do you think I’m three hours late? | 他说”不然你以为我为什么迟到” |
| [09:10] | ” That’s a joke,sweetheart. Feel free to laugh. | 我开玩笑的 亲爱的 想笑就笑吧 |
| [09:14] | Is this thing on? Roll Tide! | 这玩意还管用吗? 红潮! |
| [09:18] | Pleshkin! | 普希金! |
| [09:22] | I need another one. Marty? | 我还要来一杯 Marty? |
| [09:24] | Why not? | 为什么不呢? |
| [09:25] | I got my liver from a narcoleptic Vietnamese rickshaw driver. | 我的肝脏来自一个患嗜睡症 骑黄包车的越南人 |
| [09:30] | Evy,that’s the best gift you have ever given me. | Evy 这是你送我最好的礼物 |
| [09:33] | What do you mean? | 什么意思? |
| [09:33] | You,me,Jenny,a handful of little blue pills… | 你 我还有Jenny 加一把蓝色小药丸 |
| [09:37] | It’s like the Spring Break of ’43 all over again! | 就像回到1943年的春假一样 |
| [09:41] | Marty,she’s my granddaughter. | Marty 她是我的孙女 |
| [09:43] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [09:45] | I have had some of the most decadent sexual encounters imaginable: | 我的性爱史堕落不堪 |
| [09:51] | mother/daughter,twins,triplets,Pleshkin. | 和母女啊 双胞胎啊 三胞胎啊 普希金啊 |
| [09:55] | But never the elusive grandmother/granddaughter combo. | 却从没试过罕见的祖孙档 |
| [10:01] | She’s gay. | 她是同性恋 |
| [10:03] | It just keeps getting better. | 那就更锦上添花了 |
| [10:05] | Sweetheart,while-while I normally love your unique brand of depravity, | 亲爱的 尽管一般来说 我是喜欢你独特堕落行为的 |
| [10:09] | this is where I draw the line. | 但这里就是我的底线了 |
| [10:11] | So when it’s me and the plumber,it’s fine. | 所以我俩和水管工就没问题? |
| [10:14] | You wanted that as much as I did. | 你当时和我一样”性奋” |
| [10:16] | I had my eye on his kidney. | 我看上他的肾了 |
| [10:20] | This is so exciting. | 太刺激了 |
| [10:22] | – Another man’s bed,another man’s woman,another man’s… – Home! | – 别人的床 别人的马子 别人的… – 家! |
| [10:26] | I know,it’s so dirty. | 我知道 太下流了 |
| [10:28] | No,no,no,the garage door just opened! | 不是 车库门开了! |
| [10:30] | And here comes the car. | 车车要来咯 |
| [10:31] | Beep! Beep! | 哔 哔 |
| [10:32] | No,Larry’s home! Get out! | 不是 Larry回来了 快出去 |
| [10:35] | What do I do? What do I do? Uh… | 我该怎么办? 该怎么办? |
| [10:37] | Hide in the closet? Uh… under the bed? | 躲衣柜里? 床底下? |
| [10:39] | Ooh,I could put on a wig and a dress and pretend I’m one of your friends. | 我可以披上假发和裙子 假装是你的女性朋友 |
| [10:43] | Out the window! | 从窗户出去 |
| [10:44] | Right,good call. | 对哦 好主意 |
| [10:45] | Whoa,we are up there. Oh,beautiful view. | 哇 好高哦 好漂亮的风景 |
| [10:49] | Hey,is that the Hollywood sign… | 那是好莱坞标志吗? |
| [11:03] | What happened to you? | 你怎么了? |
| [11:04] | Oh,these? | 这些伤? |
| [11:06] | I was with Lyndsey last night,at her boyfriend’s house, | 昨晚我和Lyndsey在她男友家嘿咻 |
| [11:09] | and he came home early,and I had to jump out the window. | 他提早回家了 我得从窗户跳出去 |
| [11:13] | Alan Harper: Love Burglar. | Alan Harper之”爱的夜贼” |
| [11:16] | I like it better than Alan Harper: Roommate. | 总比Alan Harper之”同居密友”好 |
| [11:20] | It’s just so much fun to be thought of as a piece of meat. | 被当做性爱工具感觉真好 |
| [11:22] | She doesn’t care about what I think or what I say. | 她不在乎我想什么 说什么 |
| [11:25] | I know how she feels. | 我感同身受 |
| [11:28] | Let me ask you something. | 我想问你点事 |
| [11:29] | How would you like it if you were the poor schmuck being cheated on? | 如果你是那个被戴绿帽的可怜虫 你会是什么感觉? |
| [11:32] | I’ve always been the poor schmuck. | 我一直都是那个可怜虫 |
| [11:34] | And how did it feel? | 那是什么感觉呢? |
| [11:35] | Horrible. | 很糟糕 |
| [11:37] | Ha-ha,suck it,Larry! | 哈哈活该 Larry! |
| [11:41] | I know you’re having fun,Alan,but sooner or later, | 我知道你乐在其中 Alan |
| [11:43] | somebody’s gonna get hurt. | 但迟早有人会受伤的 |
| [11:45] | Oh,believe me,someone got hurt last night. | 相信我 昨晚就有人受伤了 |
| [11:46] | Boom,boom,boom! | |
| [11:49] | Know what I’m saying? | 懂我的意思? |
| [11:51] | Okay,from now on, | 好吧 从现在开始 |
| [11:52] | let’s just assume that I know what you’re saying and I don’t like it. | 就当我懂你的意思 可我一点也不喜欢 |
| [12:01] | All right,you are hair-free. | 好了 毛都剃光咯 |
| [12:03] | You missed a spot. | 你漏了一个地方 |
| [12:06] | You are a dirty old man. | 你真是个下流的老头子 |
| [12:08] | If I’m such a dirty old man,maybe it’s time for my sponge bath. | 如果我真是个肮脏的老头 那是时候给我洗个海绵浴了 |
| [12:13] | Paging Nurse Evelyn! Report to Marty’s crotch with a loofah! | 呼叫Evelyn护士! 带上丝瓜络到Marty的裤裆报到! |
| [12:21] | You ready to go? | 准备好了吗? |
| [12:22] | I’ll be right with you,dear. | 我马上就来 亲爱的 |
| [12:23] | Where are you going? | 你要去哪? |
| [12:24] | What about rubba-dub-dub,Marty’s in the tub? | “啦啦帮 Marty在浴缸”怎么办? |
| [12:27] | I’ll be right back. We’re just going to the spa. | 我很快就回来 我们只是去做Spa |
| [12:29] | Yeah,Marty,you’ll be happy. | 是啊 Marty 你会很喜欢的 |
| [12:31] | When I she comes back,she’ll have less hair than your ears. | 她回来时 全身的毛会比你耳朵里的还少 |
| [12:34] | But this is date night. | 但今晚是约会之夜 |
| [12:35] | I’ll be back by 8:00. | 8点前我会回来的 |
| [12:37] | That’s after Wheel. I’ll be asleep. | 太晚了 我都睡着了 |
| [12:40] | I’ll make it up to you in the morning. | 那我明早补偿你 |
| [12:44] | I’m 91-and-a-half! | 我都91岁半了! |
| [12:46] | I can’t plan that far ahead! | 不能做这么长远的计划! |
| [12:51] | That was amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [12:52] | It was. You seen my underwear? | 是的 你看到我内裤了吗? |
| [12:54] | Do you mean… these? | 你是指 这条吗? |
| [13:00] | You know what? Keep ’em. | 算了 你留着吧 |
| [13:02] | Ooh,thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [13:04] | Where you going? | 你去哪? |
| [13:05] | What do you mean? Home. We’re done. | 什么意思? 回家啊 我们完事了 |
| [13:07] | So it’s just wham,bam,thank you… | 你就只会说 嘿咻 谢谢你… |
| [13:09] | incredibly powerful,yet sensitive lover man? | 无比强大又敏感的爱人? |
| [13:12] | Aw,don’t get my panties in a bunch. | 还有 别把我的内裤弄成一团 |
| [13:15] | I’m serious. We never talk. | 我说真的 我们都没好好聊聊 |
| [13:17] | Because we’re not dating. | 因为我们不是在谈恋爱 |
| [13:19] | I thought you were okay with this. | 我以为你不介意的 |
| [13:21] | I am. That doesn’t mean we can’t take an interest in each others’ lives. | 是的 可我们还是能相互了解下啊 |
| [13:25] | For example,did you know Charlie had a daughter? | 比如说 你知道Charlie有个女儿吗 |
| [13:27] | – Really? – Yeah! | – 真的吗? – 是的! |
| [13:28] | That’s great! You can talk to her. | 好极了 你去和她聊吧 |
| [13:32] | Fine. Whatever. | 好吧 随便 |
| [13:35] | Oh,for the love of God! What do you want from me? | 受不了了! 你想我怎么样? |
| [13:38] | Well,if you must know,she’s coming over for dinner tomorrow night, | 你要真想知道 她明天会来家里吃晚餐 |
| [13:41] | and I just thought that maybe you’d like to join us. | 我想着你可能会想来 |
| [13:44] | Dinner? Seriously? | 晚餐? 有没搞错? |
| [13:45] | Forget I mentioned it. | 当我没说 |
| [13:47] | Okay,look,I’ll see what I can do. | 好吧 我尽量 |
| [13:49] | – Really? – I’ll try. | – 真的? – 我尽量 |
| [13:51] | Oh,thank you. You’ve made me so happy. | 谢谢 我好开心 |
| [13:54] | Great. See ya. | 行了 拜 |
| [13:58] | I should’ve just bought a damn vibrator. | 当初不如买个该死的震动棒 |
| [14:04] | Here ya go,Marty. | 给你 Marty |
| [14:06] | Just the way you like it– scotch and Metamucil. | 你的最爱– 威士忌和便秘舒 |
| [14:12] | Why aren’t we eating? It’s almost 6:00. | 怎么还不开饭? 都快6点了 |
| [14:15] | Where are we,France? | 我们在哪 法国吗? |
| [14:17] | We’re waiting for Alan’s girlfriend. | 我们在等Alan的女朋友 |
| [14:20] | I thought he was Alan’s girlfriend? | 我以为他是Alan的女朋友 |
| [14:27] | No. I own the house. It’s actually a funny story. | 不 我是房主 这事说来好笑 |
| [14:31] | I was on the beach and I went… | 我当时在沙滩上正准备… |
| [14:32] | Don’t care. | 没兴趣 |
| [14:35] | Marty,don’t be rude. | Marty 放礼貌些 |
| [14:37] | I’m sorry. Low blood sugar. | 不好意思 低血糖犯了 |
| [14:40] | Plus,I really don’t care. | 另外 我真的没兴趣 |
| [14:44] | Unbelievable. | 不敢相信 |
| [14:45] | Lyndsey’s not answering any of my calls and she hasn’t returned any of my texts. | Lyndsey不接电话也不回短信 |
| [14:48] | I told you you were gonna get hurt. | 我说过你会受伤害的 |
| [14:50] | I told you you were gonna get hurt. | “我说过你会受伤害的” |
| [14:53] | You know what? I’m gonna go get her. | 知道吗? 我要去找她 |
| [14:55] | And don’t try to stop me. | 都别拦着我 |
| [14:57] | – Okay. – No problem. | – 好的 – 没问题 |
| [15:01] | Now that buzzkill is gone… anyone want to get high? | 扫兴鬼终于走了… 有人想嗨一下吗? |
| [15:06] | Roll joint! | 一品大麻! |
| [15:13] | You think Alan’s gonna mind that we started without him? | 你们说Alan会介意 我们没等他就开饭吗? |
| [15:16] | Who’s Alan? | Alan是谁? |
| [15:18] | You know… I think I banged Lucille Ball in this house. | 知道不… 我好像在这屋里上过Lucille Ball |
| [15:25] | She was my second-favorite redhead. | 她是我第二喜爱的红发女人 |
| [15:27] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [15:30] | Wait a second. It’s night. | 等会儿 都大晚上了 |
| [15:34] | Why am I still here? | 我怎么还在这儿? |
| [15:36] | I’ll see you tomorrow. | 明天见 |
| [15:38] | Are you okay to drive? | 你这样能开车吗? |
| [15:40] | I’m fine. | 没问题 |
| [15:41] | Well,let me know when you get home. | 好吧 到家了跟我说一声 |
| [15:44] | I’m home. | 到家了啊 |
| [15:47] | Your father would’ve loved this night. | 你父亲一定会喜欢这个夜晚的 |
| [15:49] | We’re all drunk,we’re all high,and Alan’s not here. | 我们全都喝醉了 嗨大了 而且Alan也不在 |
| [15:53] | Wait– who’s Alan? | 停 Alan是谁? |
| [15:55] | You know what we should do tomorrow? | 知道我们明天该去干嘛? |
| [15:57] | Go to the Malibu Police Station. | 去马里布警察局 |
| [15:58] | They took more pictures of your dad than I did. | 警察给他拍的照片比我还多 |
| [16:01] | Again? I want to stay home and play naked Jeopardy. | 闹哪样? 我想在家玩裸版智力问答 |
| [16:06] | I want to spend time with my daughter. | 我想多陪陪我女儿 |
| [16:08] | Granddaughter. | 是孙女 |
| [16:09] | Oh,please,nobody’s buying that. | 得了吧 没人信 |
| [16:13] | I am going into the living room,Evelyn. I suggest you push me there. | 我要去客厅 Evelyn 我建议你推我过去 |
| [16:17] | We need to talk. | 我们得谈谈 |
| [16:20] | Be back in a minute. There’s a 50-50 chance he won’t remember what he wants. | 一会儿就回来 有一半可能他会忘记他要干嘛 |
| [16:24] | If you’re gonna talk about me,you shouldn’t shave my ears first. | 早知要说我坏话 你就不该刮我耳毛 |
| [16:31] | He’s great. | 他可真棒 |
| [16:32] | Wonder what it’s like to be 91. | 真想知道活到91岁是啥感觉 |
| [16:35] | I imagine that you’re wet in the places you used to be | 我猜应该是 你该干的地方湿了 |
| [16:38] | dry and dry in the places you used to be wet. | 该湿的地方干了 |
| [16:43] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了? |
| [16:45] | Your granddaughter is coming between us… | 你孙女夹在我们中间了… |
| [16:48] | and not in the good way. | 不是那种让人享受的夹法 |
| [16:50] | Look,Marty,she just came into my life. | 听着 Marty 她刚刚进入我的生活 |
| [16:54] | And believe it or not, | 信不信由你 |
| [16:55] | I wasn’t always the best mom to Charlie or-or the other one. | 我从来都不是一个称职的母亲 无论是对Charlie还是那谁 |
| [16:59] | Jennifer is my second chance. | Jennifer是我的第二次机会 |
| [17:02] | You got to make a choice. It’s me or the kid. | 你必须做出选择 我 还是那孩子 |
| [17:05] | I love you,Marty,but I have to pick my granddaughter. | 我爱你 Marty 但我必须选我孙女 |
| [17:09] | You know,I have $400 million. | 你要知道我有4亿美金身家 |
| [17:14] | I’m not saying it isn’t close. | 你俩伯仲难分 我的选择很艰难 |
| [17:17] | It’s over. | 都结束了 |
| [17:21] | Okay,I’m bluffing. I really miss you. | 好吧 我在虚张声势 我真的很想你 |
| [17:26] | I miss you too,money… honey. | 我也想你 钱爱… 亲爱的 |
| [17:31] | Maybe I can make it up to you. | 也许我能补偿给你 |
| [17:33] | If you can make it down to me,you can make it up to me. | 如果你从我下面入手 就能补偿给我 |
| [17:41] | Something tells me that Marty doesn’t want me around. | 我感觉Marty不喜欢我在身边 |
| [17:45] | What?! I can’t imagine anyone not wanting you around. | 啥?! 我想不出谁会不喜欢你在身边 |
| [17:48] | Really? Because I’m pretty sure I’m staying at my grandmother’s | 真的? 我相当肯定 我之所以住在奶奶家 |
| [17:52] | because you don’t want me around. | 是因为你不想让我在你这 |
| [17:54] | No… Maybe… Yes… | 不… 可能吧… 是的… |
| [18:02] | I get it. | 我理解 |
| [18:04] | You already have Alan. | 你已经有Alan了 |
| [18:06] | I do. | 是啊 |
| [18:07] | Hey,do you think I’d look good in a jumpsuit? | 你觉得我穿连衣裤会好看吗? |
| [18:10] | You’d look good in anything. | 你穿什么都好看 |
| [18:12] | That’s ’cause I’m good-looking. | 那是因为我人美 |
| [18:13] | I pretend like I don’t know. | 我装作不知道的 |
| [18:17] | Seriously,if you want privacy,then why do you have a roommate? | 说真的 如果你想要私人空间 为什么还留他做室友? |
| [18:21] | Oh,you know,Alan’s way more than a roommate. | 你懂的 Alan远不止是室友 |
| [18:24] | He’s my best friend. | 他是我最好的朋友 |
| [18:26] | He was there for me when I was all alone. | 当我寂寞孤单时 他总陪在我身边 |
| [18:31] | He even took me into my own house. | 是他收留我在我自己房子里的 |
| [18:34] | You know,him and-and his stoner son and his horny mom and your dead dad. | 你懂的 他和他那嗑嗨了的儿子 还有他的色老娘和你的死老爹 |
| [18:41] | I mean,they’ve really become my family. | 他们都成我的家人了 |
| [18:44] | Mine,too. | 也是我的 |
| [18:46] | I guess that means you’re becoming part of my family. | 我猜这意味着 你也成为我家人了 |
| [18:53] | I’m the most masculine person in this house. | 我是这家里最有男子气概的了 |
| [18:59] | I like you,Jenny. | 我很喜欢你 Jenny |
| [19:01] | I like you,Walden. | 我也喜欢你 Walden |
| [19:02] | If you were a chick,I would totally do you. | 你要是个女人 我绝对会上你 |
| [19:06] | Aw! You,too! | 彼此彼此! |
| [19:10] | Hey,you’re welcome to crash here any time you need a break from Evelyn and… | 嘿 欢迎你任何时候来过夜 如果你想从Evelyn和… |
| [19:17] | 91-and-a-half shades of gray. | 91岁半灰之间逃出来喘口气的话 |
| [19:20] | Seriously? | 真的吗? |
| [19:22] | Yeah. You know,I was thinking about putting in a home gym,but big deal. | 我原先想在家里弄个健身房 但那不重要了 |
| [19:28] | I’d rather have a Jenny than a gym. | 宁要Jenny不要健身 |
| [19:30] | You and me both. | 这点我们一样 |
| [19:34] | I get it. ‘Cause Jim and gym are homonyms and | 我懂了 因为Jim和健身房是”同音词” |
| [19:39] | you’re a “hamma-sexual”” | 而你又是 “同性恋” |
| [19:44] | It’s awfully quiet in there. Did they leave? | 那边好安静 他们走了吗? |
| [19:47] | I don’t know. Let me go look. | 不知道诶 我去看看 |
| [19:53] | I shouldn’t have looked. | 我不该去看的 |
| [20:00] | No matter what she says,do not cry. | 不论她说什么 忍住眼泪不要哭 |
| [20:02] | You’re the prize here. | 你才是战利品 |
| [20:05] | Alan,what are you doing here? | Alan 你在这儿干嘛? |
| [20:07] | What are you doing here? | 你在这儿干嘛? |
| [20:08] | You’re supposed to be at my house for dinner. | 你应该在我家吃晚餐的 |
| [20:10] | I said I would try. | 我说了我会尽量 |
| [20:11] | And I said I wouldn’t cry. | 我也说了我不会哭 |
| [20:13] | And I guess we’re both liars now. | 我想我们现在都成骗子了 |
| [20:16] | Would you keep it down? Larry’s here. | 你能小点声吗? Larry在家呢 |
| [20:18] | What? You don’t want him to hear your whore? | 什么? 你不想他听到你的慰安夫? |
| [20:22] | ‘Cause that’s all I am to you– your whore! | 因为对你来说我就是– 你的慰安夫! |
| [20:27] | We agreed this was just about sex. | 我们说好只谈性不谈爱的 |
| [20:29] | Well,forgive me for falling in love. | 好吧 原谅我坠入爱河 |
| [20:30] | Alan,if you don’t leave right now,you’re never gonna see this again. | Alan 如果你还不走 就甭想再看到这个 |
| [20:36] | Call at your convenience. | 方便的时候给我打个电话 |
| [20:50] | I’ll get that. | 我来开门 |
| [20:50] | It’s probably Lyndsey looking for a little morning wood to start her fire. | 可能是Lyndsey大早上 想找点干柴点燃她的烈火 |
| [20:53] | Know what I’m saying? | 你们懂? |
| [20:55] | I know what you’re saying,I just don’t know why you’re saying it. | 我知道你在说什么 就是不知道你为啥要说 |
| [21:01] | Uh,hello? | 你好? |
| [21:02] | Mackenzie,you lying bitch! | Mackenzie 你个谎话精! |
| [21:04] | Congo,my ass! Don’t run! You don’t want to run! | 刚果你大爷! 别跑! 别想跑掉! |
| [21:12] | Yeah,it feels like home again. | 没错 又找到家的感觉了 禁止任何商业用途否则后果自负 |
| [21:25] | Two And a Half Men Season 11 Episode 2 | 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo 好汉两个半 720p版本调校：C.Ronaldo |