| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | What you working on? | 在忙什么呢 |
| [00:07] | Anything interesting? | 有啥有趣的吗 |
| [00:08] | Yeah, actually. | 其实还真有呢 |
| [00:10] | I’m-I’m building a new algorithm | 我在编构一个新算法 |
| [00:12] | that weights search results… | 来衡量搜索结果… |
| [00:12] | I’m gonna get laid. | 我今晚要开”搞”啦 |
| [00:15] | Congratulations. Which hand are you going to use? | 恭喜你啊 今晚用哪只手呀 |
| [00:19] | That’s, uh… that’s funny. | 这话其实挺好笑 |
| [00:21] | Because, um, you know, | 因为 |
| [00:22] | if someone were to look at the two of us, | 如果让别人看我们两个 |
| [00:24] | they’d probably think | 他们一定会觉得 |
| [00:24] | I’d be the one sitting home, on a Friday night | 我会是那个周五晚上寂寞在家 |
| [00:26] | babbling on about some geek nonsense, | 嘴里念叨着一些死宅的屁话 |
| [00:29] | and you’d be the one going out to, | 而你会是出去跟人… |
| [00:30] | you know, get laid. | “开搞’的那个 |
| [00:33] | Who’s the “Lucky lady”? | 谁是那幸运的”被搞女郎”啊 |
| [00:36] | Lyndsey is the lucky… | 琳赛就是那个幸运 |
| [00:37] | getting “laid-y.” | “被搞女郎” |
| [00:39] | Doesn’t it bother you that after she’s with you, | 你不觉得她跟你搞完后回家去找 |
| [00:41] | she goes home to her more handsome, successful boyfriend? | 比你更帅更有钱的男友 感觉很心烦吗 |
| [00:44] | Why? I do the same thing. | 怎么会 我也是这样啊 |
| [00:50] | How did Lyndsey end up with him? | 琳赛怎么会沦落到跟他在一起啊 |
| [00:53] | Well, how did I end up with him? | 我为啥也沦落到跟他住一起啊 |
| [00:55] | Hey, Walden. | 沃顿 |
| [00:59] | Michaela, Heidi, Sarah, this is Walden. | 米凯拉 海蒂 莎拉 他是沃顿 |
| [01:01] | He’s super hot, super rich and super single. | 他超帅 超有钱 超单身 |
| [01:03] | These are my friends, and we are all super high. | 她们都是我的朋友 我们也都超嗨 |
| [01:07] | Nice to meet you. | 幸会 |
| [01:08] | – Hi. – Nice house. | -你也好 -房子挺棒 |
| [01:10] | I am so wasted. | 我真是醉翻了 |
| [01:14] | What are you guys doing tonight? | 你们今晚打算干嘛 |
| [01:15] | Oh, we’re gonna play poker. | 我们打算打扑克 |
| [01:17] | You want to join? | 你要一起玩吗 |
| [01:17] | Yeah, come play with us! | 对啊 来跟我们一起玩嘛 |
| [01:19] | – It’ll be fun. – I am so wasted. | -超好玩哦 -我真的好醉啊 |
| [01:23] | You know what, I-I actually have a lot of work to do, | 其实我还有不少活儿要干 |
| [01:26] | and need to get to bed early, but… | 所以我得找点睡… |
| [01:28] | you guys have fun. | 你们玩得开心点 |
| [01:30] | We should play strip poker. | 我们应该玩脱衣扑克 |
| [01:32] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [01:33] | All right, ante up. | 好的 开始下注吧 |
| [01:53] | All right, let’s get it over with. | 好了 你要说就说吧 |
| [01:54] | Tell me all the disturbing details of how you “got laid.” | 告诉我你昨晚那些恶心人的”开搞”事吧 |
| [01:58] | She never showed. | 她压根就没来 |
| [02:00] | She couldn’t get away from Larry, | 她在拉里那边走不开 |
| [02:01] | so I spent half the night | 所以我半个晚上 |
| [02:02] | waiting for her in the parking lot of an ampm. | 在一家便利店的停车场外等她 |
| [02:07] | Wow, I’m actually enjoying one of your stories. | 我居然开始喜欢听你的故事了 |
| [02:09] | Please, continue. | 请继续说 |
| [02:12] | But on the plus side, | 但好的是 |
| [02:13] | On 12:01, all the donuts became half price. | 在半夜12点1分以后 所有的甜甜圈都半价 |
| [02:16] | By 12:19, I-I had made friends with the guy | 在半夜12点19分 我跟住在 |
| [02:18] | who lives in the men’s room, Raul. | 男厕里劳尔交上了朋友 |
| [02:21] | Is he looking for a roommate? | 他有在找合住室友吗 |
| [02:24] | You laugh, but he actually turned the changing table | 你就笑吧 但他还懂怎么把换尿布台 |
| [02:26] | into a Murphy bed. | 变成折叠床呢 |
| [02:28] | I’m sorry, but if I remember correctly, | 抱歉 但我要是没记错的话 |
| [02:31] | last night, you were pretty sure | 昨晚你不是很信誓旦旦地说 |
| [02:32] | that you were going to “get laid.” | 你要出征去”开搞”了吗 |
| [02:36] | But, in fact, you didn’t “Get laid.” | 但其实你没”开搞”成 |
| [02:39] | Are you done? | 你够了没 |
| [02:39] | Are you done not “getting laid”? | 你”没开搞”够了吗 |
| [02:43] | Seriously, why are you doing this? | 说实在的 你何苦这样 |
| [02:44] | Because I get to have sex with Lyndsey. | 因为我能跟林赛上床啊 |
| [02:46] | But you didn’t have sex. | 但是你也没上到啊 |
| [02:48] | You ended up shame-eating stale donuts | 你沦落到跟一个住在男厕里的流浪汉 |
| [02:50] | and talking to a homeless guy in a men’s room. | 一起吃过期甜甜圈的下场 |
| [02:52] | They were not stale, | 它们没有过期 |
| [02:53] | and Raul has a name. | 而人家也有个名字叫劳尔 |
| [02:56] | You can’t let Lyndsey treat you like this. | 你不能让琳赛这么玩弄你 |
| [02:57] | You deserve better. | 太不值了 |
| [02:58] | I know. Raul said the same thing. | 我知道 劳尔也这么说了 |
| [03:02] | Well, I had a great night last night. | 我昨晚倒是过得挺欢 |
| [03:04] | I ended up playing strip poker | 我后来跟四位 |
| [03:06] | with four incredibly beautiful women. | 超级美丽的女性玩了脱衣扑克 |
| [03:08] | Oh, yeah, I’ve been on that site. | 我懂 我也上过那网站 |
| [03:10] | No, it was Jenny and her friends. | 才不是 是珍妮与她的朋友 |
| [03:12] | Wait a sec, is that the charge on my card | 等等 这就是我信用卡账单上那笔 |
| [03:14] | for TexasSqueezeEm.Com? | “德州抓两把扑克网站”的费用吗 |
| [03:19] | Wait, you played strip poker with my niece? | 等等 你跟我侄女玩了脱衣扑克吗 |
| [03:22] | She was the dealer. | 她是发牌员 |
| [03:23] | But she did flop a great pair. | 但她也开了”一对”很棒的奶 |
| [03:26] | Walden, Jenny is family. | 沃顿 珍妮是我的家人 |
| [03:28] | If you cross that line, | 如果你犯了禁忌 |
| [03:29] | I am not gonna be your friend anymore. | 我就再也不跟你做朋友了 |
| [03:31] | I mean, I’m still gonna live here, | 我还是会继续住在这里 |
| [03:32] | but I’m not gonna be your friend anymore. | 但我再也不是你的朋友了 |
| [03:34] | Relax, it was harmless fun. | 别紧张 无伤大雅玩玩啦 |
| [03:36] | Look who’s got his clothes on. Uh… | 看看谁现在穿着衣服呢 |
| [03:39] | I had clothes on last night. | 我昨晚身上也有衣物啊 |
| [03:41] | Yeah, you were wearing a sock. | 是啊 你昨晚穿着袜子 |
| [03:43] | and not on your foot. | 而且袜子还不是穿在脚上 |
| [03:46] | It looked like Santa filled | 感觉像是圣诞老人 |
| [03:47] | a stocking at Elton John’s house. | 把基佬明星家里的袜子塞满了”礼物” |
| [03:50] | “Harmless fun”? | “无伤大雅”吗 |
| [03:51] | No, she did not see Bennie or the Jets. | 她没看到”本尼”或那对喷射机 |
| [03:56] | Hey, we’re gonna hang out again tonight | 我们今晚还要一起玩 |
| [03:57] | – if you want to join us. – Yeah, sure. | -你想来一起玩吗 -好啊 |
| [03:59] | Cool. I’ll see you at 11:00. | 好 那今晚11点见 |
| [04:01] | 11:00? | 11点吗 |
| [04:02] | What is it, New Year’s Eve? | 干啥啊 除夕派对吗 |
| [04:04] | Bring your sock. | 带上你的袜子 |
| [04:08] | You’re not really going out with them, are you? | 你不是真的要跟她们一起出去玩吧 |
| [04:10] | Is this about Jenny? Will you stop it? | 就因为珍妮吗 你能别这样吗 |
| [04:12] | I’m not the creepy guy who wants to sleep with your niece. | 我不那种会跟你侄女睡的变态男好吗 |
| [04:15] | I’m the creepy guy | 我只是想跟你 |
| [04:16] | who wants to sleep with your niece’s friends. | 侄女朋友睡的变态男 |
| [04:19] | And don’t you think that’s a little sad? | 你不觉得这样很可悲吗 |
| [04:20] | I mean, a 35-year-old man | 一个35岁的男人 |
| [04:21] | hanging out with a bunch of hot young girls | 跟一群跟只想着喝酒 派对 |
| [04:23] | who just want to drink, party, get naked… | 脱光光的年轻美眉鬼混 |
| [04:25] | and anything I say after this point | 说玩脱光 其他的事 |
| [04:26] | doesn’t really matter, does it? | 好像也无所谓了 对吧 |
| [04:28] | It doesn’t. | 的确无所谓 |
| [04:29] | I’ve never had this in my life. | 我这辈子从没这么玩过 |
| [04:30] | Wh-When I was her age, | 我在她那年纪时 |
| [04:32] | I’d already dropped out of M.I.T., | 已经从麻省理工休学 |
| [04:33] | gotten married and started my own business. | 结了婚然后开创了自己的公司 |
| [04:36] | I was delivering pizza, going to junior college | 我那年纪时是在送披萨 上大专 |
| [04:38] | and dating a melon. | 跟香瓜约会 |
| [04:40] | Oh, God! | 我的天啊 |
| [04:43] | I called her my little honeydew. | 我都叫她”我的小香香” |
| [04:50] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [04:51] | I’m up. Let’s party. | 我醒了 来玩吧 |
| [04:52] | Jagerbombs, bottle service. | 喝混酒 订桌开玩吧 |
| [04:55] | What’s going on? | 你怎么了 |
| [04:56] | I thought you were going out with the girls. | 你今晚不是跟小姑娘们出去玩吗 |
| [04:58] | I am, but not until 11:00. | 是啊 但得等到11点 |
| [05:01] | What is it… 9:00? | 现在几… 才9点啊 |
| [05:04] | How can I be so sleepy? | 我怎么就这么困了 |
| [05:05] | I’ve already had two naps and three Red Bulls. | 我都小睡两回 外加喝了三瓶红牛了 |
| [05:08] | Uh, my brother Charlie had a great trick for staying awake. | 我哥查理有个保持精神的妙招 |
| [05:10] | Two hookers and an eight ball. | 两个妓女加一颗撞球 |
| [05:13] | I’ll pass. | 不用了 |
| [05:14] | What’s with the bag? | 你提着包要干嘛 |
| [05:15] | Oh, my God, are you moving in with Raul? | 天啊 你要搬去跟劳尔住了吗 |
| [05:19] | No, Lyndsey felt guilty about last night | 不是 林赛对昨晚的事情感到抱歉 |
| [05:22] | and Larry is on a business trip, | 而今晚拉里出差了 |
| [05:23] | so she is treating me to a romantic rendezvous | 她就请我去一家海边四星旅馆 |
| [05:25] | at a four-star hotel at the beach. | 来一场浪漫的私会 |
| [05:29] | Oh, come on, man. | 不是吧 兄弟 |
| [05:29] | She’s treating you like a piece of meat. | 她就帮你当一个玩物而已 |
| [05:31] | I know, it’s great. | 我是到 爽歪了 |
| [05:34] | Plus, I have already masturbated so I can hit the sweet spot | 我还先打了一回飞机 晚上能搞到她 |
| [05:36] | between “You’re done already?” and “Enough already.” | 喊出”你搞完了没”与”放过我吧”的境界 |
| [05:39] | Enough already. | 放过我吧 |
| [05:42] | Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her. | 别担心 我会跟她谈的 |
| [05:43] | Okay, well, good luck. | 好吧 祝你好运 |
| [05:44] | And give Lyndsey my best. | 帮我跟林赛也问个好 |
| [05:46] | Sure, right after I give her my best. | 在我赏完她我最”好”的那一炮后吧 |
| [05:48] | Boo-ya! | 牛吧 |
| [05:54] | Hi. | 你好吗 |
| [05:55] | Oh, so you did decide to show up tonight. | 你终于千呼万唤始出来啦 |
| [05:58] | I know. Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉 我迟到了 |
| [06:00] | It’s fine. | 没事 |
| [06:02] | You just turned happy hour into miffed hour. | 你让开心时段变成伤心时段了 |
| [06:05] | And four-dollar pot stickers into eight-dollar pot stickers. | 而开心时段半价的锅贴也恢复原价了 |
| [06:08] | Well, the important thing is I’m here now, | 最重要的是我现在到了嘛 |
| [06:10] | and you look really nice tonight. | 你今晚看起来也好帅 |
| [06:12] | Did you do something different with your hair? | 你是不是弄了头发 |
| [06:13] | You don’t have to flatter me. | 少拍我马屁 |
| [06:15] | You know I’m gonna give it up. | 你明知道我会心软 |
| [06:18] | But we do need to talk. | 但我们还是得谈谈 |
| [06:20] | I said I was sorry. | 我说对不起了 |
| [06:21] | It’s not just that; it’s everything. | 不指这件事 是所有事 |
| [06:23] | It’s the… it’s the sneaking around, | 是这私下偷情 |
| [06:24] | it’s the curt texts, it’s the going Dutch. | 短信也得小心发 还有各付各的钱 |
| [06:27] | Alan, you know this is complicated. | 艾伦 你知道状况很复杂 |
| [06:30] | I have a boyfriend. | 我有个男朋友 |
| [06:31] | Yes, and I have feelings. | 我也有个小心肝呢 |
| [06:32] | And I am feeling disrespected. | 我的小心肝觉得好不受尊重 |
| [06:35] | I hear you, | 我明白你意思了 |
| [06:36] | and I will work harder to make sure that | 我也会努力不让你觉得 |
| [06:37] | you don’t feel taken for granted. | 自己被玩弄占便宜了 |
| [06:40] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [06:41] | Now, why don’t we go up to our room | 现在我们何不上房间 |
| [06:43] | and respectfully disrespect each other? | 然后在尊重对方的情况下 “做”些不敬的事呢 |
| [06:46] | Ooh, someone wants a spanking. | 看来有人想被打屁屁哦 |
| [06:48] | I know. | 对啊 |
| [06:49] | Can it be me this time? | 这次能不能让我来 |
| [06:51] | Oh, yeah, we can play naughty school girl | 好啊 我们可以玩淘气学生妹 |
| [06:53] | and no-nonsense math teacher. | 和严肃数学老师的戏码 |
| [06:55] | Oh, no. | 不是吧 |
| [06:56] | – Oh, yes, 138 divided by two is 69. – No. | -138除以2等于69[体位] -不是这个 |
| [07:01] | It’s Stephanie Chapman. | 斯蒂芬妮·查普曼在那边 |
| [07:02] | Shh. Maybe she won’t see us. | 别出声 或许她不会看见我们 |
| [07:03] | Lyndsey, Alan! | 林赛 艾伦 |
| [07:05] | Stephanie, hi. | 斯蒂芬妮 你好啊 |
| [07:07] | Oh, wow, uh, l-look at you, you look great. | 哇 瞧瞧你 看起来变化真大 |
| [07:09] | I should. I got the lap-Band, | 当然 我做了胃束带手术 |
| [07:11] | and I dropped 172 pounds. | 然后减了156斤 |
| [07:13] | Good for you. | 太棒了 |
| [07:14] | Hold your applause till the end. | 等我把话说完 你们再惊叹 |
| [07:16] | This is the end. | 这就是完结[屁股]的地方 |
| [07:18] | So, what are you two doing here? | 你们俩在这里干什么 |
| [07:20] | Oh, well… There… | 这个嘛 |
| [07:21] | – Are you guys back together? – No, no, | -你们俩复合了吗 -没有 |
| [07:22] | – we’re just… – Did you split up with Larry? | -我们只是 -你跟拉里分开了吗 |
| [07:23] | No, Alan and I are just friends and… | 没有 我跟艾伦只是朋友而已 |
| [07:25] | Wine, hotel? | 葡萄酒和酒店 |
| [07:26] | I smell a hookup. | 我闻到了”偷腥”的味道 |
| [07:29] | Oh, we are… we are definitely not together. | 我们绝对没有在一起 |
| [07:32] | Wh-What you smell are eight-dollar pot stickers. | 你闻到的腥味是8块钱的锅贴味吧 |
| [07:35] | So, wh-what brings you here? | 那你来这里干嘛 |
| [07:37] | Uh, there is a singles’ mixer, | 这里有单身交谊会 |
| [07:39] | and this former fatty is looking for a sugar daddy. | 这位前胖妞想来这里找个干爹 |
| [07:43] | Make sure he’s a-a sugar-free daddy. | 你要确保你的干[甜]爹是无糖的 |
| [07:46] | You are adorable. I could just eat you up. | 你真可爱 真想一口吃了你 |
| [07:49] | I don’t know, I’d probably just taste like chicken. | 我的肉可能吃起来像鸡肉 |
| [07:52] | I’ll bring the biscuits and you bring the gravy. | 那我出饼干 你出肉”汁” |
| [07:58] | Okay, I’m gonna leave you two “Friends” alone. | 好了 我就不打扰你们俩”朋友”了 |
| [08:02] | Hashtag “Suspicious.” | “可疑的朋友” |
| [08:04] | – Great seeing you. – You, too. | -很高兴见到你 -我也是 |
| [08:06] | – Oh, take care. – I know you’re gonna hate to see me go, | -保重 -我知道你不想我走 |
| [08:07] | but you’re gonna love watching me walk away. | 但你肯定会喜欢看我走时销魂的背影 |
| [08:13] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [08:13] | She is the most annoying woman on the planet. | 她是这世界上最讨人厌的女人 |
| [08:15] | Yeah, she is horrible. | 对啊 她太可怕了 |
| [08:17] | – You have to go out with her. – What? | -你一定要跟她约会 -什么 |
| [08:19] | She totally suspects we’re having an affair. | 她在怀疑我们俩在偷情 |
| [08:21] | The only way to convince her we’re not a couple | 唯一让她相信咱俩不是一对的方法 |
| [08:23] | is for you to ask her out. | 就是你跟她约会 |
| [08:25] | No. | 不要 |
| [08:26] | Forget her stomach. | 先别说她的胃了 |
| [08:27] | They should’ve stapled her mouth shut. | 医生应该把她的嘴巴缝起来 |
| [08:29] | That’s exactly the problem. | 这就是问题所在 |
| [08:30] | She’ll tell Larry. | 她会告诉拉里 |
| [08:31] | Oh-oh, no, no, | 不会的 |
| [08:32] | there-there has to be an easier way. | 肯定有更简单的方法 |
| [08:34] | Can’t I just kill her? | 我不能直接杀了她吗 |
| [08:35] | It’d be a much smaller grave to dig now. | 现在杀她灭口 坑都不用挖那么大了 |
| [08:38] | I’m serious, | 我是说真的 |
| [08:39] | if you ever want to have sex with me again, | 如果你以后还想跟我上床 |
| [08:40] | you will ask her out. | 就得跟她约会 |
| [08:41] | Oh, fine, fine, I’ll-I’ll ask her out. | 好吧 我会跟她约会 |
| [08:43] | Now let’s go upstairs. | 那我们先上楼吧 |
| [08:44] | Oh, it’s not gonna happen. | 不行了 |
| [08:45] | She’s right over there. | 她就在那边呢 |
| [08:47] | I’m going home. | 我要回家了 |
| [08:48] | But-but I thought we were gonna… | 但我以为我们要… |
| [08:49] | Good-bye. | 再见 |
| [09:09] | Wow, this is a beautiful house! | 这房子太漂亮了 |
| [09:13] | Who lives here? | 这是谁的家 |
| [09:14] | You do. | 你的 |
| [09:15] | Whoa, I must be rich! | 哇 那我一定很有钱 |
| [09:18] | You are. | 你就是啊 |
| [09:19] | Oh, yeah! | 太棒了 |
| [09:21] | Whoa, my fingers are glowing! | 我的手指在发光 |
| [09:24] | I’m so rich I have rainbow fingers! | 我有钱到拥有彩虹般的手指 |
| [09:26] | Hey, let’s get some music going. | 来点音乐 |
| [09:28] | – Yeah! – Yeah! | -好的 -好 |
| [09:32] | This is the greatest song I’ve ever heard! | 这是我这辈子听过最棒的歌 |
| [09:36] | Walden? Jenny? | 沃顿 珍妮 |
| [09:38] | It’s 3:00 in the morning. | 现在都凌晨3点了 |
| [09:39] | I know, and I’m still awake! | 我知道 我居然还醒着 |
| [09:41] | And I’m still wasted! | 而我居然还醉醺醺的 |
| [09:44] | Oh, no, your fingers aren’t glowing! | 天啊 你的手指怎么不发光 |
| [09:46] | Oh, that’s because he’s poor. | 因为他是穷人 |
| [09:49] | Oh, I am sorry, Alan. | 对不起 艾伦 |
| [09:55] | Your skin is so soft. | 你的皮肤好柔软 |
| [09:56] | Guys, feel Alan’s skin. It’s so soft. | 快来摸艾伦的皮肤 超柔软 |
| [10:00] | – It’s so soft. – Okay, okay, okay! | -果然很柔软 -好了 好了 |
| [10:01] | Everybody stop touching me. | 各位不要再摸我了 |
| [10:03] | Except you. | 除了你 |
| [10:05] | Hi. I’m Alan. | 你好 我是艾伦 |
| [10:07] | Alan, I’m high. | 艾伦 我是喝高了 |
| [10:11] | What-what is going on? | 到底怎么回事 |
| [10:12] | Oh, Alan, we were at a party, | 艾伦 我们刚才在一个派对 |
| [10:14] | and we were drinking and smoking, | 我们一起喝酒和抽烟 |
| [10:15] | and then I ate a tiny pill off of someone’s nipple. | 然后我在某人的奶头上吃了一片小药片 |
| [10:18] | It was like a nipple Pez dispenser. | 感觉就像奶头糖果盒 |
| [10:21] | Okay, okay, it’s time for the party to end, | 好了 派对也该结束了 |
| [10:23] | and everybody to just sleep this off. | 各位洗洗睡吧 |
| [10:24] | Yeah, Alan’s right. | 艾伦说得对 |
| [10:26] | We should get naked and go skinny-dipping in the ocean! | 我们应该脱光光 去大海里裸泳 |
| [10:29] | Yeah, Sarah’s right. Come on. | 莎拉说得对 走吧 |
| [10:35] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [10:40] | He’s going skinny-dipping with the hot chicks, | 他跟辣妹去裸泳 |
| [10:43] | and my girlfriend’s banging another dude. | 而我女朋友却跟其他男人上床 |
| [10:46] | Can you throw me a bone, God? | 上帝 你就不能分我一杯羹吗 |
| [10:50] | Oh, I didn’t forget about you, Alan. | 我没有忘记你 艾伦 |
| [10:51] | There’s a new melon in the fridge. | 冰箱里有个新香瓜哦 |
| [11:08] | Oh, crap. | 完蛋了 |
| [11:20] | Don’t be naked, don’t be naked. | 千万别是裸体 千万别是裸体 |
| [11:23] | Damn. | 靠 |
| [11:27] | Don’t be naked, don’t be naked. | 千万别是裸体 千万别是裸体 |
| [11:29] | Damn. | 靠 |
| [11:31] | Damn! | 靠 |
| [11:45] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [11:46] | – We’re naked. – Yes, we are. | -咱俩都是全裸 -对的 |
| [11:49] | How did we get here? | 怎么会这样呢 |
| [11:50] | The last thing I remember was asking some chick, | 我记得的最后一件事是我问某个小妞 |
| [11:53] | “Can you mix these with alcohol?” | “你能把这跟酒混在一起吗” |
| [11:56] | Apparently the answer is no. | 显然答案是不能 |
| [11:59] | Okay, ’cause the… | 好吧 因为 |
| [12:00] | ’cause the last thing I remember | 因为我记得的最后一件事 |
| [12:01] | is you looking in a mirror saying, | 是你对着镜子说 |
| [12:03] | “Can we mix these with alcohol” | “你能把这跟酒混在一起吗” |
| [12:06] | Don’t worry. Nothing could’ve happened. | 别担心 不会怎么样啦 |
| [12:08] | I’m gay. | 我是同性恋 |
| [12:10] | Ah, that’s right. | 没错 |
| [12:11] | You’re gay. | 你是同性恋 |
| [12:14] | Wait. How gay? | 等下 你是哪个等级 |
| [12:16] | Like, one being, “Yay, it’s college!” | 一级是”太棒了 是大学耶” |
| [12:18] | Or ten being, “I’m going Subaru shopping | 十级是”我要和艾伦和罗茜 |
| [12:22] | with Ellen and Rosie.” | 去看看斯巴鲁的车” |
| [12:25] | I’m closer to a nine. | 我比较接近九级 |
| [12:27] | I mean, I make my own soap, | 我自己会做肥皂 |
| [12:28] | but I don’t sell it at the Lilith Fair. | 但我不会把它拿到莉莉丝音乐节上卖 |
| [12:30] | Oh, great, great. | 好 太好了 |
| [12:32] | I mean, granted you’re prettier | 假定你比我泡过的 |
| [12:33] | than a lot of the women I’ve dated, | 很多女人都漂亮 |
| [12:34] | but you have an outie and I’m into innies. | 但是你的是”棒棒糖” 而我的是”海鲜” |
| [12:38] | Okay, okay, so we didn’t have sex. | 好的 所以我们没有做爱 |
| [12:39] | That is a load off. | 真是如释重负[释放了一炮] |
| [12:41] | Uh, that’s a poor choice of words. | 刚才那句话又歧义 |
| [12:43] | Although sometimes I date an innie | 虽然有时候跟我约会的”海鲜” |
| [12:46] | who has an outtie in her purse. | 会在包里收一根”棒棒糖” |
| [12:49] | What is that supposed to mean? | 这话是什么意思 |
| [12:51] | I don’t know, I’m just saying it’s possible. | 我也不知道 我只是我们有可能做了 |
| [12:55] | Oh, God, if Alan finds out, he’s gonna freak out. | 天啊 如果艾伦知道了 他一定会吓死的 |
| [12:57] | He won’t move out, but he will freak out. | 但他就算吓死了 也不会搬出去的 |
| [12:59] | Okay, settle down. | 好啦 淡定点 |
| [13:00] | We don’t even know if there’s anything to freak out about. | 我们现在还不确定有什么好怕的 |
| [13:03] | Hello. | 你好呀 |
| [13:04] | – Hello. – Stop that! | -你好 -别玩了 |
| [13:06] | We got to figure out what to do. | 我们得想想该怎么做 |
| [13:08] | Okay, what we’re gonna do is never talk about this again. | 我们再也不提这件事 不就得了 |
| [13:11] | So, you’re just saying deny | 你是说否认我们俩 |
| [13:13] | that we ever woke up in bed naked together? | 曾经全裸在同一张床醒来的事实吗 |
| [13:15] | I have a motto for situations like this. | 对于这种情况 我有句箴言 |
| [13:17] | What happens in Jenny, | 发生在珍妮身上的事 |
| [13:19] | stays in Jenny. | 只有珍妮知道[将会留在珍妮体内] |
| [13:25] | So, I was really surprised you called me. | 真惊讶你会打给我 |
| [13:28] | Well, I-I couldn’t get your voice out of my head. | 你的声音在我脑海里挥之不去 |
| [13:31] | You’re not the first one to say that. | 你不是第一个说这话的人 |
| [13:34] | There it goes again. | 就是这声音 |
| [13:37] | No, I was surprised | 我很惊讶 |
| [13:38] | because I was vibing there was definitely | 是因为我明显地感觉到 |
| [13:40] | something going on between you and Lyndsey. | 你和林赛之间肯定有猫腻 |
| [13:42] | No, we’re-we’re just friends. | 不 我们只是朋友 |
| [13:43] | And-and barely that. | 甚至连朋友都算不上 |
| [13:46] | She’s a drunk, you know? | 她是酒鬼 你知道吧 |
| [13:48] | Oh, believe me, I know. | 相信我 我知道 |
| [13:50] | You should hear wine bottles in her trash bins on Friday morning. | 听她周五早收垃圾时 她垃圾桶里的酒瓶声 |
| [13:52] | I mean, clank, clank, drunken skank! | 叮当叮当 酒鬼骚货 |
| [13:55] | Yeah, she’s a whore, too. | 对 她还是个淫妇 |
| [13:59] | I don’t know why she ever let you go. | 我不明白她为什么会抛弃你 |
| [14:00] | You are quite the catch. | 你是个值得拥有的好男人 |
| [14:03] | Uh, I know I present that way, | 我知道我给人这种感觉 |
| [14:05] | but I’m more catch and release. | 但其实我更像是”先捕后放”的男人 |
| [14:07] | Well, I am not releasing. | 我可不会放掉哦 |
| [14:18] | – You are so cute. – Thank you. | -你太可爱了 -多谢夸奖 |
| [14:20] | Uh, you’re not eating your food. | 你怎么不吃东西 |
| [14:22] | Do you not like Souplantation? | 你不爱吃自助吗 |
| [14:23] | No, I love it, but since the surgery, | 我喜欢 但手术后 |
| [14:26] | I can’t eat a portion larger than my fist. | 我不能吃大过拳头的东西 |
| [14:30] | But don’t worry. | 但别担心 |
| [14:31] | That only applies to food. | 这条只对食物适用 |
| [14:40] | How are you still single? | 你怎么会还是单身呢 |
| [14:51] | So, listen. | 听着 |
| [14:54] | Uh, about that thing that didn’t happen… | 那件没有发生的事 |
| [14:59] | I have a way to figure out if it happened. | 我有办法知道是否真的发生过 |
| [15:02] | I’m not peeing on any sticks. | 我不会在尿在任何”棒”上[验孕棒] |
| [15:05] | No. | 不用 |
| [15:06] | There is a camera in my room. | 我的房间有摄像头 |
| [15:11] | And that’s why I don’t sleep with guys. | 所以我才不跟男人上床 |
| [15:14] | It was your dad’s. | 那是你爸爸的 |
| [15:15] | And that’s why I drink. | 所以我酗酒 |
| [15:19] | So we could watch the video back | 所以我们可以看视频 |
| [15:23] | and know for sure. | 知道真相 |
| [15:24] | Or… | 或者 |
| [15:25] | we could erase it | 我们可以删掉 |
| [15:27] | and continue to deny that anything ever happened. | 继续否认发生过任何事 |
| [15:33] | Play it. | 放吧 |
| [15:33] | Ah, damn it. | 见鬼 |
| [15:35] | I was sure you were gonna say erase it. | 我还以为你会说删掉呢 |
| [15:37] | No, I want to watch it. | 不 我想看 |
| [15:38] | It’ll be like a quarterback watching game film. | 就像四分卫看比赛回放一样 |
| [15:40] | Only the quarterback’s a lesbian. | 只不过这个四分卫是个女同 |
| [15:43] | And the game’s boning a dude. | 而这项体育是她在上一个男的 |
| [15:46] | – Exactly. – Okay. | -没错 -好吧 |
| [15:50] | Here we go. | 开始 |
| [15:53] | – Wait! – Erase it? | -等等 -删掉吗 |
| [15:55] | No, I want to make popcorn. | 不 我去弄点爆米花 |
| [15:59] | So both of my ex-husbands turned out to be gay. | 我两任前夫都是同志 |
| [16:02] | But the weird thing is… is after I divorced them, | 但奇怪的是 在我和他们离婚后 |
| [16:05] | they both turned straight again. | 他们又变成直男了 |
| [16:08] | What are the odds? | 这几率还真少见 |
| [16:09] | Uh, well, this has been great. | 今晚很愉快 |
| [16:12] | Whoa, somebody’s fresh. | 某人真没经验 |
| [16:17] | Come on in. | 请进 |
| [16:19] | I would love to take you up on that, | 我也想进去 |
| [16:20] | but, you know, it’s, uh…. | 但现在已经 |
| [16:22] | 6:45… | 6点45了 |
| [16:25] | and, uh, I have got to go home | 我得回家 |
| [16:27] | and, uh, hit the hay. | 上床睡觉了 |
| [16:29] | Oh, I have hay here. | 我这里也有床 |
| [16:30] | And I will definitely let you “Hit it.” | 我也绝对会让你”上” |
| [16:33] | That is tempting. | 真吸引人 |
| [16:35] | Uh, and I am definitely gonna have to come | 如果我是和尚 |
| [16:37] | to terms with that while I’m in the monastery. | 我一定为你动了凡心 |
| [16:41] | All right, I get it. | 好啦 我懂了 |
| [16:42] | You’re making excuses | 你在找借口 |
| [16:44] | because you’re still in love with Lyndsey. | 因为你依然爱着林赛 |
| [16:45] | God, no, we’re-we’re just friends. | 当然不是 我们只是朋友 |
| [16:47] | Yeah, and I didn’t just fart in your car. | 我也没有在你车上放屁 |
| [16:51] | It’s fine, okay? I get it. | 没关系 好吗 我明白 |
| [16:53] | I just feel bad for her boyfriend. | 我只是为她的男友难过 |
| [16:56] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [16:58] | Uh, if-if I was still in love with Lyndsey, | 如果我依然爱着林赛 |
| [16:59] | would I do this? | 我会这样做吗 |
| [17:04] | Do that again, but keep your eyes open and say my name. | 再亲一遍 这次睁着眼说我的名字 |
| [17:09] | – Stephanie? – Yeah. | -斯蒂芬妮 -对 |
| [17:16] | Are you sure about this? | 你确定要这样做吗 |
| [17:17] | Because once we see it, we can’t un-see it. | 一旦看了 就不能当没事发生了 |
| [17:20] | Yeah, worst-case scenario, it’s a video | 最坏的情况 也就是 |
| [17:22] | of two hot people having sex. | 两个俊男美女做爱的视频 |
| [17:24] | Well, I’m just gonna say… | 我只想说 |
| [17:26] | if I had sex with one Harper in this house, | 如果我要这房子里和一个姓哈勃的做爱 |
| [17:29] | thank God it was you. | 谢天谢地这个人是你 |
| [17:34] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:36] | Oh, this is not a good start. | 开局不太妙 |
| [17:40] | Would you stop that? | 你别这样好吗 |
| [17:43] | Oh, having sex with a guy in my dad’s bed. | 和男人在我爸的床上做爱 |
| [17:46] | Paging Dr. Freud, huh? | 快传呼弗洛伊德医生吧 |
| [17:49] | You know what? Let’s just go back to denial. | 算了 我们继续否认好了 |
| [17:50] | No, wait, wait! | 等等 |
| [17:51] | Wait, that is not me. | 这不是我 |
| [17:53] | I don’t have a Fred Flintstone tattoo. | 我没有摩登原始人那个爸爸的纹身 |
| [17:56] | Well, if that’s not you, then who is she? | 如果不是你 那是谁 |
| [17:59] | You’re the one yabba-dabba-doin’ her. | 把她上得花枝乱颤的人是你耶 |
| [18:04] | I don’t know who that is. | 我不知道这是谁 |
| [18:06] | God, I love living at the beach. | 老天 我爱住在海边 |
| [18:10] | That’s Heidi! | 这是海蒂 |
| [18:11] | – You banged Heidi. – Really? | -你上了海蒂 -是吗 |
| [18:13] | Yes! Good going. | 是的 做得好 |
| [18:16] | So, how did I end up in your bed? | 那我为什么会在你床上呢 |
| [18:18] | I don’t… Uh, wait. | 我不… 等等 |
| [18:20] | – Is that you? – Yeah. | -这是你吗 -是的 |
| [18:22] | Well, who are you with? | 你和谁在亲热 |
| [18:23] | Oops, I turned Sarah. | 哎呀 我把莎拉掰弯了 |
| [18:27] | Nice! | 不错 |
| [18:31] | Wh-Whoa, who are those people? | 这些人是谁 |
| [18:34] | Do you remember the bonfire on the beach? | 你还记得海滩上的篝火会吗 |
| [18:35] | Yeah, the Italian exchange students! | 对 意大利交换生 |
| [18:38] | “I no have-ah the bus fare-ah.” | 我没有公车钱 |
| [18:39] | They no have-ah no pants-ah! | 他们没有穿裤子 |
| [18:43] | – Did we invite them back to the house? – I guess so– | -我们有邀请他们来家里吗 -是吧 |
| [18:44] | I mean, that is a big pile of naked. | 好多光屁股啊 |
| [18:48] | Oh… oh, man. | 我的天 |
| [18:49] | Now Heidi’s with the guy that looks like James Franco. | 海蒂现在和像詹姆斯·弗兰科的人在一起 |
| [18:54] | Wait, that is James Franco! | 等等 那就是詹姆斯·弗兰科 |
| [18:58] | That guy is in everything! | 他怎么无处不在啊[演员主持作家] |
| [19:02] | Wait a second, who am I with now? | 等等 我和谁在一起 |
| [19:04] | Oh, now you’re with Sarah. | 你和莎拉在一起 |
| [19:07] | Turned her back– wah! | 我又把她掰直了 |
| [19:10] | That is some Game of Thrones stuff there. | 床戏堪比《权力的游戏》的啊 |
| [19:13] | Yeah, but we didn’t, uh…? | 我们没有… |
| [19:15] | No, I guess not. | 我想没有 |
| [19:17] | Oh, well, maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [19:20] | That is my ass. | 那是我的屁屁 |
| [19:22] | No, that’s my ass. | 不 那是我的屁屁 |
| [19:28] | Is that your arm? | 那是你的胳膊吗 |
| [19:30] | – Uh, no, that is my… – What are you doing? | -不 那是我的… -你们在做什么 |
| [19:33] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [19:34] | – Hanging out. – Okay. | -就一起玩而已 -好吧 |
| [19:36] | So, listen. | 听好了 |
| [19:38] | Are we all gonna talk about the orgy we had last night? | 我们要谈谈昨晚的纵欲大狂欢吗 |
| [19:46] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:49] | Y-You were there? | 你也在吗 |
| [19:50] | Hell, yeah. | 当然啦 |
| [19:51] | I banged James Franco. | 我上了詹姆斯·弗兰科 |
| [20:03] | I’m so glad you were able to get away. | 真开心你可以偷溜出来 |
| [20:04] | I owe you one for going out with Stephanie. | 让你和斯蒂芬妮约会 这次算我欠你的 |
| [20:08] | The only way I got through it… | 当时我能挺过去的唯一办法 |
| [20:09] | was by thinking of you. | 就是想着你 |
| [20:10] | Through what? | 挺过去什么 |
| [20:11] | You know, Stephanie. | 斯蒂芬妮啊 |
| [20:13] | I took one for the team. | 我为了我们 牺牲了小我 |
| [20:15] | Rather I, uh, gave one for the team. | 可以说 是贡献了小弟 |
| [20:16] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. | 等等 |
| [20:18] | You had sex with her? | 你和她上床了吗 |
| [20:19] | Yeah, the second time was not easy. | 对 第二次时可不容易 |
| [20:22] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [20:24] | What? Wasn’t I supposed to? | 什么 我不应该上吗 |
| [20:25] | No, you were supposed to take her out, | 当然不 你应该只带她出去 |
| [20:26] | go to a movie or something. | 看看电影什么的 |
| [20:27] | Oh, I don’t think I could’ve sat through a movie with her. | 我不觉得我能跟她看完一部电影 |
| [20:30] | You are unbelievable. I’m out of here. | 你太无耻了 我走了 |
| [20:32] | B-But I thought we were gonna… | 我还以为我们会… |
| [20:33] | Oh, no. God, no. | 不 想都别想 |
| [20:35] | But… but… | 但是 但是 |
| [20:36] | but you have a boyfriend! | 但你有男友 |
| [20:47] | Hello, uh, Stephanie? | 你好 斯蒂芬妮 |
| [20:48] | Yeah, it-it’s Alan. | 我是艾伦 |
| [20:50] | Uh, turns out, uh, the doctor read my MRI wrong. | 原来医生看错了我的核磁共振结果 |
| [20:53] | I will be free tonight. | 我今晚没事 |