| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [00:04] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [00:06] | Ooh, Cap’n Crunch. | 香脆上校[麦片] |
| [00:08] | That’s the only man I put in my mouth. | 那是我唯一放进嘴里的”男人” |
| [00:12] | It puts my relationship with Orville Redenbacher | 这让我从另一角度看待我和 |
| [00:14] | in a whole different light. | 奥利华·雷登巴赫[爆米花]的关系 |
| [00:17] | I’m partial to the U.P.S. Guy. | 我比较喜欢UPS的速递男 |
| [00:21] | We’re making food jokes here. | 我们这是拿食物开玩笑呢 |
| [00:23] | The U.P.S. Guy’s not food. | UPS速递男不是食物 |
| [00:24] | He is if you cover him with whipped cream. | 他是 前提是在他身上涂一层生奶油 |
| [00:29] | What can I say? | 我能说什么呢 |
| [00:30] | There’s just something about a man in brown shorts. | 女人都迷恋褐色短裤制服里面的壮硕身材 |
| [00:34] | Okay, I’m in big trouble. | 我有大麻烦了 |
| [00:35] | Speaking of a man with brown shorts. | 一说穿着褐色短裤[内裤]的人 那人就到 |
| [00:39] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [00:39] | Well, I just got a call from Lyndsey’s boyfriend Larry. | 刚林赛的男友拉里打给我 |
| [00:41] | And he wants to see me. | 他说想见我 |
| [00:42] | Well, he wants to see Jeff Strongman. | 他是要见杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [00:44] | Who’s Jeff Strongman? | 谁是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [00:46] | Oh, Jeff Strongman is Alan’s alter ego | 杰夫·斯壮曼是艾伦塑造的另一个自我 |
| [00:50] | he uses to meet Larry and fight crime. | 专门用来跟拉里见面和打击罪犯 |
| [00:54] | Wait, so, you use a fake name | 慢着 所以这个假名 |
| [00:56] | to sneak around with other men? | 是为了跟其他男人偷情时用的吗 |
| [00:59] | Where do you guys meet? A Lady Gaga concert? | 你们在哪里认识的 女神卡卡的演唱会吗 |
| [01:03] | It was a spin class if you must know. | 如果你非要知道 是在单车课上 |
| [01:06] | Now, what am I gonna do? | 那我现在应该怎么办 |
| [01:07] | I told you something like this was gonna happen. | 我早告诉你会发生这种事了 |
| [01:09] | “I told you something like this was gonna happen.” | “我早告诉你会发生这种事了” |
| [01:12] | Look, I am serious– | 我是说真的 |
| [01:13] | he wouldn’t tell me why he wanted to see me | 他不肯告诉我见面的原因 |
| [01:14] | and he sounded pretty upset. | 而且他听起来很不开心 |
| [01:15] | Well, what kind of world are we living in | 我们到底生活在什么样的世界 |
| [01:17] | where a guy is upset with another guy | 居然会有人因为其他男人 |
| [01:20] | for banging his girlfriend? | 睡了他的女朋友而不开心 |
| [01:23] | See, that’s why I love being gay. | 所以我才喜欢当同性恋 |
| [01:25] | A guy finds out I’m doing his girlfriend, | 男人一旦发现我睡了他的女朋友 |
| [01:27] | I don’t get an angry phone call. | 他们不会打电话来骂我 |
| [01:28] | I get a dozen roses and a copy of the video. | 相反我会收到玫瑰花 和交欢时的视频 |
| [01:34] | Too bad I can’t convince Larry I’m gay. | 真可惜 我不能说服拉里我是基 |
| [01:36] | Come on, Zippy, you’re making it too easy for us. | 得了吧 废柴 我们早被你说服了 |
| [01:47] | There he is. | 他来了 |
| [01:48] | My main man with a winter tan. | 那个皮肤苍白的男人 |
| [01:51] | Jeff. | 杰夫 |
| [01:52] | Uh, I got you a coffee. Can I get you anything else? | 我给你点了咖啡 你还要其他的吗 |
| [01:54] | Uh, one-one of these muffins? They’re bran. | 要不要来个玛芬蛋糕 麦麸做的哦 |
| [01:56] | Keeps your trains running on time. | 能让你的身体保持健康哦 |
| [01:59] | – I’m not hungry. – All right then, | -我不饿 -那好吧 |
| [02:01] | I’ll just sit across from you. | 我就坐在你对面 |
| [02:04] | Right here… | 坐在 |
| [02:05] | in front of all these witnesses. | 众多目击证人前 |
| [02:07] | You know my girlfriend Lyndsey? | 你知道我女朋友林赛吧 |
| [02:09] | Is it Lyndsey? | 她叫林赛吗 |
| [02:10] | I thought it was Linda. | 我以为叫琳达呢 |
| [02:11] | Glad you cleared that up before I saw her again… | 幸好在我下次见到她前 说清楚 |
| [02:13] | which I haven’t, and why would I? | 不过我见不着她 我干嘛要见她 |
| [02:15] | She’s been cheating on me. | 她背着我偷人 |
| [02:20] | Mmm, sorry. Just a little… | 抱歉 有点噎着了 |
| [02:23] | Why do you think she’s cheating on you? | 你为什么觉得她背着你偷人 |
| [02:25] | I hired a private investigator to follow her. | 我找了个私家侦探跟踪她 |
| [02:30] | Uh, do you mind? | 你不介意吧 |
| [02:32] | She’s been meeting him at a house in Malibu. | 她一直去马里布的别墅跟他私会 |
| [02:37] | Sorry, sorry, I’m just a little shocked. | 抱歉 我只是有点震惊 |
| [02:39] | Imagine how I feel. | 想象下我的感受 |
| [02:41] | Well, I-I can’t, uh, uh, but I do know | 想象不到 但我知道 |
| [02:43] | that in situations like this, it’s the woman who’s to blame. | 在这种情况下 要怪就怪那个女人 |
| [02:46] | She’s not the only one. | 不止该怪她 |
| [02:49] | Please, I have a son! | 求你了 我还有个儿子要养活 |
| [02:51] | This is the guy. | 这就是那个奸夫 |
| [02:54] | – Wait, this is the guy? – Yeah. | -等等 是这家伙吗 -是的 |
| [02:58] | This is guy you think banging your girlfriend? | 你认为是这家伙睡了你的女朋友 |
| [02:59] | I know he is. | 我知道是他 |
| [03:01] | And only him? | 只有他 |
| [03:02] | Nobody else? | 没别人了吗 |
| [03:03] | Isn’t this bad enough? | 这还不够糟吗 |
| [03:05] | Well, sure. | 说的也是 |
| [03:07] | But, you know, there could also be another explanation. | 但应该有其他合理的解释 |
| [03:10] | I mean, maybe she’s just lost | 我是说 或许是她迷路了 |
| [03:12] | and she’s asking this guy for directions. | 然后向这家伙问路呢 |
| [03:14] | Right, “Excuse me, sir, | 是啊 “不好意思 先生 |
| [03:15] | can you help me find my G-spot?” | 能帮我找到去G点的路吗” |
| [03:18] | It’s not just this photo. | 证据不光是这张照片 |
| [03:20] | It’s the late night errands. | 晚上出去办事 |
| [03:21] | Hiding her phone. | 把手机藏起来 |
| [03:23] | Plus, we haven’t had sex in forever! | 还有我们好久没做爱了 |
| [03:24] | Wow, that’s rough. | 那是挺惨的 |
| [03:26] | I guess this guy, whoever he is, | 我猜 不管这个男人是谁 |
| [03:29] | satisfies her every need. | 他满足了她的所有需求 |
| [03:33] | I want to kill him. | 我想杀了他 |
| [03:34] | I hate being lied to like this. | 我讨厌被人这样欺骗 |
| [03:35] | I get it, you know. | 我懂 |
| [03:37] | Sometimes you think you know a person, but you don’t. | 有时就是知人知面不知心啊 |
| [03:39] | Panini for Strongman. | 斯壮曼的意式三文治 |
| [03:45] | – Jeff, that’s you. – What? | -杰夫 在叫你呢 -什么 |
| [03:47] | Oh, oh, yeah, that’s me. | 对 对 是我 |
| [03:50] | Jeff Strongman. | 杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [03:52] | Someone who’s not banging anyone’s girlfriend. | 没有睡任何人的女朋友 |
| [04:18] | Oh, no, there’s a stranger in my house. | 天啊 我家进了个陌生人 |
| [04:21] | And it’s possibly a gay porn star from the ’70s. | 可能是70年代同性恋黄片的明星 |
| [04:25] | It’s me, Alan. | 是我啦 艾伦 |
| [04:26] | I-I believe you’re supposed to say, | 我想你刚说的是 |
| [04:28] | “It’s-a me, a-Mario!” | “是我啦 马里奥” |
| [04:34] | So, I take it things didn’t go great with Larry? | 所以你和拉里的会面并不愉快吗 |
| [04:36] | Well, he does know that Lyndsey’s cheating on him, | 他的确知道了林赛背着他偷人 |
| [04:38] | but the good news is he doesn’t know that it’s with me. | 但好消息是他不知道奸夫是我 |
| [04:41] | So, why do you look like one of | 那你为什么打扮得像 |
| [04:41] | 村民乐队是1970年代的经典男子演唱组合 成员分别装扮成警官 印第安酋长 建筑工人 士兵 摩托车手和牛仔 | |
| [04:43] | the Village People in street clothes? | 穿着便装的村民乐队成员 |
| [04:46] | Ah, well, uh, he hired a, uh, a private detective, | 他找了个私家侦探 |
| [04:48] | uh, to watch the house because, uh, | 监视这个房子 因为 |
| [04:49] | and here’s where it gets really funny, | 有意思的地方来了 |
| [04:53] | he thinks that Lyndsey is cheating on him with… | 他认为林赛的奸夫是 |
| [04:56] | No. | 不是吧 |
| [04:59] | No, no, no. | 不 不 |
| [05:01] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 不 不 不 这样不行 |
| [05:04] | It’s crazy, right? | 很扯吧 |
| [05:06] | Why didn’t you tell him the truth? | 你干嘛不告诉他真相 |
| [05:09] | Fear, cowardice. | 害怕 胆小 |
| [05:12] | Lack of a dental plan. | 没有给牙齿买保险 |
| [05:14] | Uh, besides, he-he just lost Lyndsey, | 再说了 他都失去林赛了 |
| [05:16] | I didn’t want him to lose his best friend. | 我不想他再失去他最好的朋友 |
| [05:18] | Okay, well, you’re gonna lose your best friend | 好吧 如果你不处理好这件事 |
| [05:19] | if you don’t fix this! | 你会失去你最好的朋友 |
| [05:20] | Oh, I’m your best friend? | 原来我是你最好的朋友啊 |
| [05:23] | Alan, I am serious. | 艾伦 我说真的 |
| [05:24] | I do not want a private detective watching this house. | 我不想让私家侦探监视我的房子 |
| [05:26] | And I… and I definitely don’t want | 我也绝对不想 |
| [05:28] | an angry boyfriend after me. | 被愤怒的男友追杀 |
| [05:30] | Well, you should’ve thought of that | 你之前跟林赛上床时 |
| [05:31] | before you slept with Lyndsey. | 就应该想到这一点 |
| [05:34] | I’ve got some work to do. | 我还有事情要做 |
| [05:36] | And I’m gonna go out and run some errands. | 我要出去处理点事 |
| [05:38] | And when I get back, this better be cleaned up. | 等我回来时 这事最好已经解决了 |
| [05:40] | Oh, oh, don’t worry, I’m on it. | 别担心 我马上处理 |
| [05:42] | Oh, oh, but just in case. | 以防万一 |
| [05:47] | Oh, God! | 天啊 |
| [05:49] | Is there any look you can’t pull off? | 有什么是你这英俊的脸蛋不能驾驭的吗 |
| [05:52] | I’m-a gonna kill you. | 我要杀了你 |
| [06:03] | What the hell? | 你要踢死我啊 |
| [06:04] | Alan, what are you doing? | 艾伦 你在干什么 |
| [06:07] | At the moment, looking for my left ball. | 此时此刻 我在找我左边的蛋蛋 |
| [06:11] | Larry just dropped me off. He could’ve seen you. | 拉里刚送我回来 他会看见你的 |
| [06:13] | That’s why I’m here. | 所以我才来的 |
| [06:14] | Larry thinks you’re having an affair with Walden. | 拉里觉得你跟沃顿在偷情 |
| [06:16] | What? Why would he think that? | 什么 他干嘛那样想 |
| [06:18] | Well, because he he hired a P.I. | 因为他请的私家侦探 |
| [06:19] | who t a picture of the two of you together. | 拍了一张你们俩在一起的照片 |
| [06:21] | And by the way, it looked like it was a cold day. | 对了 从照片看那天很冷啊 |
| [06:25] | – You’re an idiot. – I know. | -你个白痴 -我知道 |
| [06:27] | So, what-what are we gonna do? | 那我们应该怎么办 |
| [06:29] | Okay, look, I’ve done this plenty of times before. | 没事 这方面我超有经验 |
| [06:32] | The first thing you do is deny everything. | 首先要做的就是否认 |
| [06:34] | Right, denial. Wait. | 好的 否认 等等 |
| [06:35] | You’ve done this plenty of times before? | 你这方面超有经验 |
| [06:37] | Did you ever cheat on me? | 你是不是也背着我偷人 |
| [06:38] | Never. | 没有 |
| [06:41] | Okay, good. | 好的 |
| [06:44] | Oh, it’s Larry. | 是拉里 |
| [06:45] | What does he want? | 他找你干嘛 |
| [06:46] | Uh, well, let’s see. | 我看一下 |
| [06:47] | Uh, “Just dropped off the cheating whor… | “刚把那个偷人的妓… |
| [06:49] | Lyndsey.” | 林赛送回家” |
| [06:51] | “Want to grab a drink?” | “想出来喝一杯吗” |
| [06:52] | Okay, you go play the sympathetic friend, | 你继续扮演同情他的好朋友 |
| [06:54] | calm him down. | 安抚他 |
| [06:55] | I’ll figure something out. | 我来想办法 |
| [06:56] | Sounds good, uh… | 听起来不错 |
| [06:57] | “No problem, bro.” | “没问题 哥们” |
| [07:01] | Cocktail glass emoji. | 加上鸡尾酒杯的图案 |
| [07:03] | – Stall him as long as you can. – Right. | -尽量拖延时间 -好的 |
| [07:06] | I’m sorry I kicked you in the balls– | 很抱歉踢了你蛋蛋 |
| [07:08] | is there anything I can do? | 你想我怎么补偿你 |
| [07:09] | You could kiss it and make it better. | 你可以亲亲它 让它好受点 |
| [07:12] | Good-bye, Alan. | 再见 艾伦 |
| [07:13] | Oh, come on! | 别这样嘛 |
| [07:15] | It’s not like I could do it myself. | 我自己又亲不到 |
| [07:18] | God knows I’ve tried. | 天知道我曾试过 |
| [07:25] | – Get in the car! – Rose? | -上车 -罗斯 |
| [07:27] | What are you doing? | 你怎么在这里 |
| [07:28] | Someone’s following you. | 有人在跟踪你 |
| [07:30] | Yeah, you! | 没错 你嘛 |
| [07:32] | There’s no time for this, you’re in danger. | 没时间说那么多 你现在很危险 |
| [07:35] | Yeah, from you! | 没错 因为你嘛 |
| [07:37] | Just get in. | 快上车吧 |
| [07:38] | Why would I get in your car? | 我为什么要上你的车 |
| [07:40] | I mean, the last time i tried to trust you… | 上一次我试图相信你 |
| [07:42] | What? What are you looking at? | 怎么 你在看什么 |
| [07:45] | You got a little spot on your shirt. | 你衬衣上有个小点 |
| [07:49] | Drive! Drive! Drive! | 开车 开车 开车 |
| [07:51] | Drive! Drive! | 快开车 |
| [07:55] | I found out more about this guy. | 我又发现一些新信息 |
| [07:56] | His name is Walden Schmidt. | 他的名字是沃顿·施密特 |
| [07:59] | More like lying sack of Schmidt. | 更像是一吨·特坏屎 |
| [08:01] | Am I right? | 对不对 |
| [08:03] | Turns out he’s some kind of stupid Internet billionaire. | 原来他是个靠网络发家的亿万暴发户 |
| [08:06] | Don’t you hate when guys don’t work for a living | 你不觉得不用为生活而工作的人很讨厌吗 |
| [08:08] | like you and me? | 就像咱俩 |
| [08:09] | Amen, Jeff Strongman. | 没错 杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [08:11] | Hey, come on, you know, | 振作点 |
| [08:12] | this isn’t the worst thing in the world. | 这并不是世界上最糟糕的事 |
| [08:14] | You’re gonna bounce back. | 你会重新振作起来 |
| [08:15] | I guess, I mean, I should’ve seen it coming. | 我早该猜到会有这么一天 |
| [08:17] | I mean, she cheated on her last boyfriend with me. | 她当初就是背着她前男友跟我偷情 |
| [08:21] | Her-her last boyfriend? | 你是说她前男友 |
| [08:22] | Yeah, I guess the guy was a real loser. | 是啊 那个家伙就是个屌丝 |
| [08:24] | A pathetic freeloader. | 白吃白喝的可怜虫 |
| [08:28] | Well, that’s just conjecture. | 那也只是猜测 |
| [08:30] | I mean, you know, maybe he’s a-a really great guy | 也许他是很棒的人 |
| [08:32] | and she’s just a crazy lying bitch. | 而她只是个爱说谎话的贱女人 |
| [08:35] | I’m not gonna take it lying down | 我不会像她前男友那样 |
| [08:36] | like the pansy she was dating before me. | 娘娘腔似的忍气吞声 |
| [08:38] | Is “pansy” your word or hers? | “娘娘腔”是你说的 还是她说的 |
| [08:42] | Hers. | 她说的 |
| [08:42] | I’m going to the head. | 我要杀去他们私会的地方 |
| [08:43] | You get the check | 你买单 |
| [08:44] | and we’ll go pay this bastard a visit. | 等会我们去会会这个混蛋 |
| [08:46] | Take your time. | 慢慢来 |
| [08:48] | No rush. | 别着急 |
| [08:52] | Oh, come on, Lyndsey, pick up, pick up, pick up! | 快点 林赛 接电话 快接电话啊 |
| [08:55] | Of course, voice mail. | 就知道会是语音信箱 |
| [08:58] | Lyndsey, things have gone from bad to worse. | 林赛 情况更糟了 |
| [09:00] | Larry is gonna confront Walden, | 拉里要找沃顿当面对质 |
| [09:01] | and I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道该怎么办 |
| [09:02] | Call me back. | 快回电话 |
| [09:04] | Oh, and PS– you and I have | PS 咱俩之间 |
| [09:05] | a little issue to discuss ourselves. | 有点小问题需要讨论一下 |
| [09:07] | Oh, and PPS– the “P” Stands for “Pansy.” | PPS “P”代表”娘娘腔” |
| [09:14] | Looks like we lost him. | 好像甩掉他了 |
| [09:15] | What the hell is going on? | 到底发生什么事了 |
| [09:18] | Well, I’m pretty sure Larry hired a hit man. | 我很确定拉里雇了一个杀手 |
| [09:21] | How do you know about Larry? | 你怎么知道拉里这个人 |
| [09:22] | Because he’s stalking you. | 因为他在跟踪你啊 |
| [09:24] | How do you know that? | 你怎么知道他在跟踪我 |
| [09:26] | Because I’m stalking you. | 因为我在跟踪你啊 |
| [09:28] | Okay, okay, you know, this is ridiculous. | 好吧 这太荒唐了 |
| [09:29] | I’m calling the police. | 我要报警 |
| [09:31] | And tell them what? | 你要跟警察说什么 |
| [09:32] | We have no proof of anything. | 我们什么证据也没有 |
| [09:35] | And besides, how helpful were the police | 而且 上次你因为我报警 |
| [09:36] | when you called them on me? | 他们也没帮上什么忙啊 |
| [09:38] | Uh, I got them to issue a restraining order. | 我向警察申请了对你的禁止令 |
| [09:41] | Hi. | 你觉得管用吗 |
| [09:44] | Okay, I… | 好吧 我 |
| [09:46] | Uh-oh, he’s back. | 他又来了 |
| [09:47] | I don’t know how he keeps finding us. | 我不知道为什么他总能找到我们 |
| [09:50] | I’ll tell you how. | 我来告诉你为什么 |
| [09:52] | The GPS on my cell phone. | 我手机上有GPS定位 |
| [09:54] | Give me that. | 手机给我 |
| [09:57] | I was gonna turn it off, but okay. | 我本来只想关机 不过好吧 |
| [10:01] | Hang on. | 抓紧 |
| [10:02] | What? Why? | 什么 为什么 |
| [10:09] | That ought to do it. | 应该可以甩掉他了 |
| [10:12] | Okay, you know… this is nonsense! | 听我说 这真是胡闹 |
| [10:13] | Take me home. | 送我回家 |
| [10:15] | Okay, homeward bound. | 好吧 送你回家 |
| [10:17] | And gagged. | 然后被人塞住嘴 |
| [10:18] | And tortured for days. | 折磨好几天 |
| [10:20] | Okay, well, fine, then take me to a hotel. | 那好吧 送我去酒店 |
| [10:23] | Beverly Hills Hotel okay? | 贝弗利山酒店如何 |
| [10:25] | It’s perfect. | 很好 |
| [10:26] | And bang, you’re dead. | 砰的一声 你就被人射死了 |
| [10:28] | You need to get off the grid. | 你需要摆脱惯性思维 |
| [10:29] | Someplace they don’t expect you. | 去一个他们想不到的地方 |
| [10:31] | A place they can’t track your credit cards. | 也查不到你信用卡的地方 |
| [10:33] | Nobody is tracking my credit cards. | 没人在查我的信用卡 |
| [10:36] | Oh, that wasn’t you last night getting a coffee colonic? | 昨晚你不是还刷卡做了咖啡灌肠吗 |
| [10:40] | I will not apologize for a healthy colon. | 我那是为了大肠健康 |
| [10:49] | Okay, here we go. | 好了 到了 |
| [10:51] | This place looks perfect. | 这个地方看起来不错 |
| [10:52] | – This place is a dump. – Exactly, | -这简直就是个垃圾场 -没错 |
| [10:54] | and it’s the last place anyone would look for you. | 所以没人会来这地方找你 |
| [10:58] | Yeah, but it’s the first place | 对啊 但是肝炎 |
| [10:59] | that hepatitis would look for me. | 肯定会来这找我 |
| [11:01] | Okay, this is only temporary. | 好吧 这只是暂时的 |
| [11:03] | You lay low, and I will straighten this out. | 你保持低调 我来帮你解决 |
| [11:06] | Why in God’s name would I trust you? | 我究竟凭什么要相信你 |
| [11:08] | Look, Walden, I know that I’ve caused you | 沃顿 我知道以前给你 |
| [11:10] | some tiny problems in the past, but… | 造成了一些小困扰 但是 |
| [11:12] | Wha…? Tiny? | 你说小困扰吗 |
| [11:13] | You pretended to be pregnant to scare my girlfriend away. | 你假装怀孕吓走了我女朋友 |
| [11:16] | You sicced rabid ferrets on me! | 你让那只疯狂的雪貂攻击我 |
| [11:20] | You tied me to my bed | 你把我绑在床上 |
| [11:22] | and tried to violate me with a leaf blower! | 试图用吹叶机猥亵我 |
| [11:26] | It’s so sweet you remember everything. | 你真贴心 居然都记得 |
| [11:30] | But I can make up for all of that now. | 但是现在我可以弥补过去的事情 |
| [11:32] | Look, when your sink is clogged, you call a plumber. | 你看 下水道堵了要找水管工 |
| [11:36] | When your car breaks down, you call a mechanic. | 车子坏了要找修车工 |
| [11:38] | When you have a dangerous psychopath after you, | 当一个危险的变态跟踪你时 |
| [11:40] | you call me. | 你要找我 |
| [11:43] | All right, fine. | 好吧 |
| [11:43] | I am gonna kill Alan. | 我要杀了艾伦 |
| [11:45] | Oh, if you survive tonight, you should hire Larry’s guy. | 如果你活过了今晚 可以找拉里雇的杀手 |
| [11:48] | He’s good. | 他很出色 |
| [12:01] | Here you go. | 就是这里了 |
| [12:06] | This is, uh, this is the best room you got? | 这是你们这里最好的房间吗 |
| [12:09] | It’s the presidential suite. | 这间是总统套房 |
| [12:12] | The president of what? | 哪国的总统 |
| [12:13] | Crap-o-slovakia? | 斯洛伐克鸟国吗 |
| [12:15] | I could offer you the honeymoon suite. | 我可以给你提供蜜月套房 |
| [12:17] | You know, if you don’t mind the smell of love. | 如果你闻得惯”爱情的味道”的话 |
| [12:22] | No, no… this is, uh… | 不了 这里 |
| [12:24] | this is fine. | 这里就行 |
| [12:27] | Do you, uh, do you have room service? | 你们有客房服务吗 |
| [12:32] | I might have something you might want to eat. | 我这里或许有你想吃的”东西” |
| [12:36] | I don’t think you do. | 我不想吃 |
| [12:41] | Listen, uh, if-if anyone comes here asking about me, | 听着 如果有人来打听我 |
| [12:45] | I-I’m not here. | 就说我不在这里 |
| [12:46] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [12:48] | No one will ever find you. | 永远不会有人找到你 |
| [12:56] | Hey, uh, if you get lonely later on, | 如果等会你寂寞了 |
| [12:59] | I’m in the apartment behind the building. | 我就在楼后面的公寓里 |
| [13:02] | Yeah, okay. | 好 我知道了 |
| [13:04] | It’s nothing fancy, but I’ve got some good weed | 我家也没什么好东西 但我有些好大麻 |
| [13:06] | and… a spa tub. | 还有水疗浴缸 |
| [13:09] | I’ll, uh, keep that in mind. | 我都记住了 |
| [13:12] | There’s a Live Feed on channel 14 | 14频道在播《生存恐惧》 |
| [13:14] | if you want to check it out. | 喜欢就看看 |
| [13:22] | Great, now I got to hide from him, too. | 这下可好 还得躲着他了 |
| [13:29] | This Walden guy is gonna regret the day he stole my girlfriend. | 沃顿这家伙会后悔当初偷了我的女友 |
| [13:32] | Oh, it’s-it’s not stealing. | 这不是偷 |
| [13:33] | It-It’s more like borrowing. | 应该算是借 |
| [13:34] | – Like-like renting a car. – Yeah, but when you rent a car | -就像租车一样 -可当你租车后 |
| [13:37] | you know there’s been other guys inside it, | 知道以前有其他男人在里面坐过 |
| [13:39] | turning the knobs, playing with the seat, | 扭扭凸起的把手 摆弄摆弄座位 |
| [13:41] | – shoving stuff in the trunk. – Okay, okay, | -还把东西塞进后备箱 -好了 好了 |
| [13:44] | maybe that’s a bad analogy. | 这个类比不恰当 |
| [13:45] | But that doesn’t change the fact | 但你去找他对质 |
| [13:46] | that going over there to confront him | 也于事无补 |
| [13:48] | is not gonna help anything. | 更不会改变事实 |
| [13:49] | You got a better idea? | 你有更好的主意吗 |
| [13:50] | Uh, I-I do. | 我有 |
| [13:51] | How about you forget about Lyndsey | 不如你忘记林赛 |
| [13:53] | and we go out to a bar and pick up some women. | 咱们去酒吧泡妞 |
| [13:56] | You know, Larry and Jeff out on the prowl. | 拉里和杰夫出外活动 |
| [14:00] | Jeff, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. | 杰夫 很感谢你一番好意 |
| [14:01] | But I’m afraid if I don’t do this, | 但恐怕如果我不这样做 |
| [14:03] | I won’t be able to live with myself. | 我就永远无法安心 |
| [14:06] | And I’m afraid if you do this, | 恐怕你这样做 |
| [14:08] | I’ll have to live by myself. | 我就永远无法安生了 |
| [14:17] | Oh, no! Channel 14! | 不 14频道 |
| [14:28] | Oh, God! | 老天 |
| [14:32] | Who is it? | 谁啊 |
| [14:34] | It’s Larry, I’m here to kill you, Walden. | 拉里 我是来杀你的 沃顿 |
| [14:37] | Mr. Walden, he die. | 沃顿先生已经死了 |
| [14:39] | I clean room. | 我是打扫卫生的 |
| [14:41] | No, silly rabbit, it’s just me. | 不 小傻瓜 是我 |
| [14:43] | Wha…? Rose? | 什么 是罗斯吗 |
| [14:45] | Is that…? | 是… |
| [14:47] | Are you alone? | 你一个人吗 |
| [14:49] | Yeah, but a nice man did just invite me into his spa tub. | 是 但刚才有个好人邀请我去泡水疗浴缸 |
| [14:55] | Here, I brought some food. | 我买了些吃的 |
| [14:57] | – Yeah, I can’t eat. – Why not? | -我不能吃东西 -为什么 |
| [14:59] | Well, because if I do, | 如果我吃了 |
| [15:01] | eventually I’ll have to go in there. | 最终就会去那里 |
| [15:04] | And I’m not going in there. | 打死我都不会进去 |
| [15:07] | Uh, so, did you find anything out? | 有什么新情况吗 |
| [15:08] | Still no sign of Larry. He could be anywhere. | 还是没找到拉里 他去哪里都有可能 |
| [15:11] | God, Alan was supposed to take care of this. | 老天 艾伦应该处理好这件事的 |
| [15:13] | Well, yeah, he also told you he was only gonna live | 是啊 他还告诉你他只会 |
| [15:14] | and here we are at day 800 and… | 在你家住几天 但现在已经过去了八百 |
| [15:18] | 43. | 四十三天 |
| [15:21] | Oh, I almost forgot. | 我差点忘记了 |
| [15:22] | I got us some candy bars. | 我买了巧克力条 |
| [15:24] | Mounds for you, ’cause it’s your favorite. | 椰子口味是你的 这是你的最爱 |
| [15:27] | Almond Joy for me | 杏仁是我的 |
| [15:28] | ’cause, you know… nuts. | 你也知道 果仁嘛[疯子] |
| [15:33] | Hey, why are you being so nice to me? | 你为什么对我这么好 |
| [15:37] | You know, I’ll admit that you hurt me. | 我得承认你伤害过我 |
| [15:39] | And I did some things that I’m not proud of. | 我也做过不光彩的事情 |
| [15:43] | But just because you took a restraining order | 但就因为你申请了针对我的 |
| [15:45] | out against me… | 限制令 |
| [15:47] | doesn’t mean that I can restrain my feelings for you. | 并不代表我可以限制自己对你的感情 |
| [15:51] | That is the sweetest, | 这是我听过的 |
| [15:53] | most terrifying thing I’ve ever heard. | 最甜蜜最恐怖的话 |
| [15:59] | Are you really scared of me? | 你真的怕我吗 |
| [16:02] | You’re not even the scariest person I’ve met in this room. | 我在这房间里碰到的人 你都不算最恐怖的 |
| [16:08] | And the truth is, I’m-I’m not blameless. | 事实是 我也有错 |
| [16:10] | I mean, I chose another girl over you, | 我选择了其他的女生 |
| [16:12] | and look who’s here with me now? | 但看现在是谁陪在我身边 |
| [16:17] | I never really left you. | 我从未真正离开过你 |
| [16:21] | Literally. | 还真是这样 |
| [16:26] | File this under things I’m gonna regret. | 我知道我会后悔的 |
| [16:33] | Damn it, should’ve brought my leaf blower. | 见鬼 应该把吹叶机带来 |
| [16:43] | Oh, uh, the doorbell doesn’t work. | 门铃没用 |
| [16:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:46] | I mean, uh, that-that does not work | 我是说这样没用 |
| [16:49] | if you want to send a message that there’s a man here. | 如果你想来个强势登场的话 |
| [16:54] | Ding-dong. | 叮当 |
| [16:54] | “I’m gonna kick your tushie.” | 我要踢你屁屁 |
| [16:56] | You’re right. | 有道理 |
| [17:00] | Okay, now, listen, now-now, this could get crazy. | 听我说 可能不好收场 |
| [17:02] | I mean, there’s gonna be a lot of name calling– | 可能会互相进行人身攻击 |
| [17:03] | uh, uh, jerk, uh, idiot, uh, Alan. | 混蛋 白痴 艾伦 |
| [17:08] | – Larry? – Lyndsey? | -拉里 -林赛 |
| [17:10] | I know exactly what’s going on | 你和沃顿·施密特的事 |
| [17:12] | between you and Walden Schmidt. | 老子一清二楚 |
| [17:14] | Now, where is he? | 他在哪里 |
| [17:15] | Wow! This house is amazing. | 哇 好漂亮的房子 |
| [17:22] | Larry, this isn’t what you think. | 拉里 不是你想的那样 |
| [17:23] | It’s exactly what I think. | 就是我想的这样 |
| [17:25] | I have pictures. | 我有照片 |
| [17:26] | We’re standing in his house! | 我们现在站在他的家 |
| [17:28] | Okay, it-it’s time for me to tell you the truth. | 是时候告诉你真相了 |
| [17:30] | Don’t believe her! She’s a cheating, drunk whore! | 别相信她 她是个酗酒的劈腿荡妇 |
| [17:36] | Larry, listen to me. | 拉里 听我说 |
| [17:37] | I’m not here to sleep with Walden Schmidt. | 我不是来和沃顿·施密特上床的 |
| [17:40] | I’m here to sleep with someone else. | 我是来这里和其他人上床的 |
| [17:42] | – What?! – What?! | -什么 -什么 |
| [17:43] | Remember you told me | 还记得你跟我说过 |
| [17:44] | your fantasy was to see me with another woman? | 你的性幻想就是看到我和别的女人在一起吗 |
| [17:46] | – Yeah? – Yeah? | -怎样 -怎样 |
| [17:49] | I’ve arranged for your dream to come true. | 我做了安排 令你的梦想成真 |
| [17:52] | – You did?! – You did?! | -是吗 -是吗 |
| [17:53] | Yes, that’s why I rented this beautiful beach house | 对 所以我才从沃顿·施密特手中 |
| [17:56] | from Walden Schmidt as a birthday surprise. | 租下这间漂亮的海边别墅 作为生日惊喜 |
| [17:59] | I also got us something else. | 我还准备了其它的惊喜 |
| [18:00] | So, which one is watching us? | 在旁边观战的是哪一个 |
| [18:04] | If it’s him, I’m gonna have to charge extra. | 如果是他 我要加钱 |
| [18:09] | Wait a minute. Is this for real? | 等等 这是真的吗 |
| [18:11] | Happy birthday, baby. | 生日快乐 宝贝 |
| [18:15] | 3P A threesome. | |
| [18:16] | That is quite a gift. | 好大的礼啊 |
| [18:18] | Well, it was last minute, | 时间仓促 |
| [18:20] | and I had to think of something. | 我必须想出点什么 |
| [18:23] | A nice cardigan wouldn’t have done the trick? | 一件漂亮的羊毛衫不算厚礼吗 |
| [18:25] | God, I feel so stupid. | 老天 我觉得自己好蠢 |
| [18:27] | I even hired someone to follow you. | 我甚至雇了人跟踪你 |
| [18:28] | Well, why don’t you call them off, | 你打电话让他们走人吧 |
| [18:30] | and we’ll all go sit down | 我们进去坐下来 |
| [18:31] | and talk about the things you want to see? | 好好谈谈你想看到的事情 |
| [18:35] | Bye, Jeff. | 再见 杰夫 |
| [18:36] | Yeah, bye, Jeff. | 再见 杰夫 |
| [18:37] | I’ll send you a copy of the video. | 我会寄给你一份视频拷贝 |
| [18:41] | Wait. Thi-Thi… Wait. This is | 等等 这个 等等 这个 |
| [18:42] | really… happening? | 是真的吗 |
| [18:43] | I mean, you-you-you and-and-and her? | 你是说 你和她吗 |
| [18:45] | And-and… and him? | 还有 还有他吗 |
| [18:47] | And-and-and here? | 还有 在这里吗 |
| [18:49] | While… while I…? | 而 而我 |
| [18:52] | Son of a bitch! | 这招太贱了 |
| [18:55] | This is crazy. | 真是疯了 |
| [18:56] | You know, I’ll… I’ll bet | 我打赌 |
| [18:57] | if Lyndsey had been sleeping with somebody else, | 如果林赛真的是偷汉子了 |
| [18:59] | he’d be really, really mad. | 那个男的现在一定非常非常生气 |
| [19:03] | I know. Isn’t this great, Jeff? | 我知道 是不是好棒 杰夫 |
| [19:05] | She’s not a cheating whore. She’s just a whore. | 她不是劈腿的荡妇 她只是荡妇而已 |
| [19:09] | Hi. It’s Larry Martin. | 你好 我是拉里·马丁 |
| [19:10] | Oh, hey. | 是你啊 |
| [19:13] | Listen, I’m not going to be needing your services anymore, | 我不再需要你的服务了 |
| [19:15] | but I appreciate all your help. | 很感谢你的帮忙 |
| [19:17] | No problem. | 不客气 |
| [19:18] | It was my pleasure. | 我很荣幸 |
| [19:19] | Good-bye. | 再见 |
| [19:23] | That was Alan. | 艾伦打来的 |
| [19:25] | What did he say? | 他说了什么 |
| [19:26] | Well, he, uh, thanked me for protecting you. | 他感谢我保护你 |
| [19:30] | But there’s still no sign of Larry. | 但还是没找到拉里 |
| [19:32] | And as long as he’s out there, you’re not safe. | 只要他还不知所踪 你就不安全 |
| [19:34] | I’m gonna go get us some supplies. | 我去买点必需品 |
| [19:36] | No, don’t go! | 别走 |
| [19:38] | We’re having a good time. | 我们这么开心 |
| [19:39] | You’re just a sticky little honey bun, aren’t you? | 你真是黏人的小可爱啊 |
| [19:42] | Now, don’t try to get in touch with anyone, | 千万别试图联系任何人 |
| [19:44] | or Larry will kill you. | 否则拉里会杀了你 |
| [19:47] | Kisses. | 亲亲 |
| [19:54] | I got to go to the bathroom. | 我得去厕所了 |
| [19:58] | Screw it. I’ll just pee the bed. | 妈的 我就尿床好了 |
| [20:11] | Rose? | 罗斯 |
| [20:15] | All right, come on, Rose. | 别闹了 罗斯 |
| [20:16] | This… this… It’s not funny. | 这样不好玩 |
| [20:24] | Larry?! | 拉里 |
| [20:27] | Listen, we can… we can… we can work this out! | 听我说 我们可以说清楚的 |
| [20:29] | It’s-it’s just a little misunderstanding. | 只是一点小误会 |
| [20:33] | Oh, God! I… | 老天 我… |
| [20:42] | Well, that was rude. | 真没礼貌 |
| [20:44] | Looks like I took a shower for nothing. | 看来我的澡白洗了 |
| [20:59] | Come out, come out, wherever you are! | 无论你在哪里 出来吧 出来吧 |
| [21:07] | I hate you, Jeff Strongman. | 我恨你 杰夫·斯壮曼 |