| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | I don’t usually meet women as beautiful as you | 我通常都没机会在科技展上认识 |
| [00:06] | at a tech convention. | 你这么漂亮的美女 |
| [00:07] | Aw, that’s very sweet. | 你嘴真甜 |
| [00:09] | And you were definitely the hottest guy there. | 你也是会上最帅的帅哥 |
| [00:11] | Thank you. Although, to be fair, | 谢谢 虽然说 |
| [00:13] | being the hottest guy at a tech convention is kind of like… | 当科技展上最帅的男的感觉… |
| [00:16] | well, being the hottest guy at a tech convention. | 就像是在科技展上当最帅的男的… |
| [00:20] | Although, once, I saw Justin Timberlake | 不过有一次我看到贾斯丁·汀布莱克[男星] |
| [00:22] | at a Microsoft party. | 出席微软的派对呢 |
| [00:24] | Lady boner! | 一泡一个准 |
| [00:27] | Yes, he did bring sexy back to Windows 8. | 他的确是为微软8系统带来了性感元素 |
| [00:31] | So, you said you work for Google? | 你说你是在谷歌工作吗 |
| [00:32] | That’s right, in the modeling department. | 是的 在模特[建模]部门 |
| [00:34] | Oh, that’s awesome. Like graphic rendering | 很不错啊 是例如图像渲染 |
| [00:36] | and 3-D imaging? | 与3D制图吗 |
| [00:37] | More like pointing. | 更像是在指手画脚啦 |
| [00:39] | “New from Google, | “谷歌全新推出 |
| [00:41] | confusing tech crap.” | 理解无能的科技玩意” |
| [00:44] | Oh, so you’re, like, a model-model? | 所以你是真模特 |
| [00:47] | Yep. You can’t spell Google without “Ogle.” | 谷歌谷歌 “鼓”起来高歌 |
| [00:50] | Can you? | 对吧 |
| [00:53] | No, you can’t. | 不对 |
| [00:55] | But being a model at tech shows isn’t what I really want to do. | 但其实我并不想在科技展上当模特 |
| [00:58] | I just do it to pay the bills. | 只是为了赚钱糊口而已 |
| [00:59] | Oh, I get it. What’s your ultimate goal? | 我懂 那你的终极梦想是什么 |
| [01:01] | I want to help teach people to read. | 我希望能教人们识字 |
| [01:03] | Oh, that’s noble. So, you want to be a teacher. | 好高尚的梦想 你想当老师啊 |
| [01:06] | No, I want to be the next Vanna White. | 我想当下一个字谜游戏的传奇女主持 |
| [01:12] | Oh, you’re serious. | 你是认真的啊 |
| [01:14] | Yeah. I mean, she has an amazing job, | 对啊 你看她有一份好工作 |
| [01:17] | she wears amazing outfits and she has amazing hair. | 总是穿得超漂亮 发型也超漂亮 |
| [01:20] | Somebody needs to buy a new, amazing adjective. | 某人也超需要学个新形容词啊 |
| [01:23] | You can’t buy adjectives. | 你不能买形容词 |
| [01:26] | You can only buy vowels. | 你只能买母音[节目游戏规则] |
| [01:29] | Right. | 好的 |
| [01:30] | Only vowels. | 只能卖母音 |
| [01:32] | Well, I owe you another drink. | 我还欠你一杯饮料 |
| [01:34] | “O.” “K.” | O K[猜字] |
| [01:39] | Certainly won’t be any “I” in “U” Tonight. | 今晚不会有I[我]进入U[你]的事情发生了 |
| [01:44] | Wow, that girl is gorgeous. | 那个妞真是美呆了 |
| [01:46] | Yeah, she’s a model. | 她是个模特儿 |
| [01:47] | We don’t really have a connection. | 我们之间不来电 |
| [01:49] | She’s not very bright. | 她脑子不太好 |
| [01:50] | I think she thinks Silicon Valley is the place | 我觉得她会认为矽谷是一个 |
| [01:52] | where women go to get a boob job. | 女人去做矽胶假奶的地方 |
| [01:55] | Oh, you want intellectual stimulation. | 你想要有智力上的刺激啊 |
| [01:57] | Uh, why don’t you watch an episode of Nova | 那你何不一边看着科研节目 |
| [01:58] | while you’re banging her brains out? | 一边操翻她呢 |
| [02:01] | No, I’m gonna go tell her it’s not gonna work out. | 我要去跟她说我们不来电了 |
| [02:03] | Well, if you don’t want her, can I have her? | 你不想上她 能让给我吗 |
| [02:05] | Oh, sure, let’s change shirts. Maybe she won’t notice. | 行啊 我们互换衣服 她一定”认不出” |
| [02:08] | Oh, she’s that dumb? | 她真笨成这样啊 |
| [02:10] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [02:12] | Walden! | 沃顿 |
| [02:13] | Look, a seagu… | 有海鸥… |
| [02:15] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [02:17] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [02:18] | We didn’t switch shirts yet. | 我们还没互换衣服呢 |
| [02:36] | Hey, what’s going on? | 在干嘛呢 |
| [02:37] | I was cleaning out my closet | 刚才在清理我的衣橱 |
| [02:39] | and I found a box of Jake’s old stuff. | 发现了一箱杰克的旧东西 |
| [02:41] | Aw, that’s sweet. | 那挺好啊 |
| [02:43] | Who’s Jake? | 谁是杰克啊 |
| [02:46] | My son. Y-Your cousin. | 我儿子 你堂弟 |
| [02:47] | Oh, right. | 对哦 |
| [02:50] | Oh, and how did he die? | 他是怎么死的 |
| [02:53] | Oh, no, h-he’s not dead. He’s in the Army. | 他没死呢 他参军去了 |
| [02:57] | Ah. Nice bong. | 好烟斗 |
| [02:59] | Guess he’s not fighting the war on drugs. | 想必他打的不是抗毒的战争 |
| [03:03] | No, that-that is a hummingbird feeder. | 那是蜂鸟喂食器 |
| [03:05] | He made it in art class. | 他在美术课上做的 |
| [03:06] | And in shop class, I made a train whistle. | 手工艺课上 我也做了一个火车笛 |
| [03:08] | Weed, weed! | 呜呜[大麻 大麻] |
| [03:11] | No, no, seriously. | 我不是开玩笑 |
| [03:12] | Uh, one summer, back in high school, | 在他读高中时的有一年暑假 |
| [03:14] | he and his friends got into bird watching. | 他跟他朋友喜欢上了赏鸟 |
| [03:16] | They’d spend all day out in the woods, and they’d… | 他们会一整天都在森林里混… |
| [03:20] | they’d come back laughing and… | 笑开怀地回家 |
| [03:24] | Oh, God, I’m an idiot. | 天啊 我真是个傻逼 |
| [03:27] | Don’t worry. All parents are idiots. | 别担心 所有家长都是傻逼 |
| [03:30] | My mom used to think I was locked in the bathroom all day | 我妈以前也以为我只是被反锁在浴室里 |
| [03:32] | with an electric toothbrush. | 然后里面有只电动牙刷 |
| [03:37] | My first wife was always using her electric tooth… | 我第一任妻子也总是在用她的电动牙… |
| [03:39] | God, I am an idiot. | 天啊 我是超级大傻逼 |
| [03:42] | Oh, look at this. One of his old report cards. | 你看 他以前的成绩单 |
| [03:45] | Oh, you can still see where he tried to change his grades. | 还看得到他想偷换成绩的印子 |
| [03:48] | Yeah, he changed the C’s. | 他把所有的C |
| [03:51] | To D’s. | 都换成了D |
| [03:53] | Yeah. That was the year his bus got a little shorter. | 不过那年接他的校车的确换成接智障的小校车 |
| [03:56] | But, you know, in his defense, | 不过 也不是那么坏 |
| [03:58] | his teacher changed that year, too. | 他的老师那年也有变化 |
| [04:00] | She went from C’s to D’s. | 也从C变成了D[罩杯] |
| [04:02] | Is this how you’re spending your night? | 你晚上都是干这种无聊事度过的吗 |
| [04:04] | Oh, no, no. Later, I’m going to shave my back. | 不不 等会我还打算刮背毛 |
| [04:06] | Oh, actually, if you’re not busy… | 如果你不忙的话… |
| [04:07] | I am. And so are you. | 我忙 你也得忙 |
| [04:09] | I’m gonna get a drink. Where’s Walden? | 我要去喝酒 沃顿呢 |
| [04:11] | Oh, he had to take his date to the hospital. | 他得把他的女伴送去医院 |
| [04:14] | Ooh, what are they pulling out, and from where? | 有东西卡在她身体里的哪个洞里了吗 |
| [04:16] | No, it-it’s nothing like that. | 不是你想的那样 |
| [04:18] | She was looking up at the sky and she fell off the deck. | 她当时在看天空 然后摔下了阳台 |
| [04:20] | – High? – No. | -嗑药了吗 -没有 |
| [04:21] | – Drunk? – No. | -喝醉了吗 -没有 |
| [04:23] | – Model? – Yeah. | -模特吗 -是的 |
| [04:28] | How you feeling? | 你还好吗 |
| [04:29] | I’m all right. | 我没事 |
| [04:30] | Uh, well, we need to fill out this paperwork. | 我们得填一下这个表 |
| [04:32] | So, uh, first name, Nadine. | 名字是 纳丁 |
| [04:36] | This is awkward. I don’t know your last name. | 这有点尴尬 我不知道你的姓 |
| [04:40] | It’s H-O-R-E. | 是H O R E |
| [04:43] | H O R E H-o-r-e. | |
| [04:48] | Like “Hooray”? | 音似胡儿[欢呼]吗 |
| [04:50] | No, like “Whore.” | 不 音似霍尔[妓女] |
| [04:54] | You think I should change it? | 你觉得我该改吗 |
| [04:55] | No, be proud. | 不 你该自豪 |
| [04:57] | I’m sure you come from a long line of… Hores. | 这名字可是从你祖上流传下来的 霍尔 |
| [05:02] | Uh, any relatives I can call? | 你这里有亲戚吗 |
| [05:04] | No, they’re all back east. | 没有 他们都在东边 |
| [05:05] | I’m the only Hore in Los Angeles. | 洛杉矶只有我一个霍尔[妓女] |
| [05:09] | Agree to disagree. | 我还是保留意见吧 |
| [05:12] | Emergency contacts. Okay, so no family. | 紧急情况联系人 没有家人的话 |
| [05:14] | Uh, friends? Roommates? | 那你有朋友吗 室友呢 |
| [05:17] | Anyone you’ve gone on more than one date with? | 除了初次约会对象 有其他熟人吗 |
| [05:20] | Not really. | 没有 |
| [05:21] | I live alone. | 我一个人住 |
| [05:22] | I’ve only been in L.A. a couple weeks. | 我来洛杉矶没几周 |
| [05:24] | The only men in my life are you and Frank. | 我认识的男人只有你和弗兰克 |
| [05:27] | Oh, all right. How do I get a hold of Frank? | 好吧 那弗兰克的联系方式是… |
| [05:29] | He’s a pig. | 他是头猪[坏男人] |
| [05:31] | He’s a pig, you’re a Hore. | 他是猪 你是霍尔[鸡] |
| [05:32] | No one’s judging. | 没人会说三道四的 |
| [05:34] | No, he’s my pet pig. | 不 它是我的宠物猪 |
| [05:35] | My little frankfurter. | 我的小猪肠 |
| [05:38] | A pig. | 一只猪啊 |
| [05:39] | Does he sleep in a blanket? | 他睡在毛毯里吗 |
| [05:42] | Yeah, he totally hogs the covers. | 是啊 他每次都会把毛毯顶起来 |
| [05:45] | Hogs. Good one. | “顶”起来 说得好 |
| [05:49] | Never mind. | 当我没说 |
| [05:51] | Uh, what about medications? | 那药物呢 |
| [05:53] | Love ’em. | 超爱的 |
| [05:55] | No, I-I think they mean “Are you taking any now?” | 不是 我是问”现在有在服用其他药物” |
| [05:58] | Oh, let’s see, there’s plaxitril for my depression, | 我相信啊 我有在吃治疗抑郁症的药 |
| [06:01] | zaxaprin for my anxiety, | 治疗焦虑症的药 |
| [06:03] | dilapamin for my insomnia, | 治疗失眠的药 |
| [06:06] | and clodex for my occasional bouts of rage. | 还有治疗间歇性失控行为的药 |
| [06:09] | No one likes an angry Hore. | 谁都不喜欢愤怒的霍尔[妓女] |
| [06:19] | Why didn’t you tell me we were going to a gay bar? | 你怎么不早说咱们来的是同志酒吧 |
| [06:21] | ‘Cause if I told you, you wouldn’t have come. | 我要是早告诉你 你肯定不来了 |
| [06:22] | Yes, I would. I just would’ve dressed better. | 我肯定会来 而且会穿得更好看点 |
| [06:26] | And just to be clear, | 不过先说清楚 |
| [06:27] | you do know I’m not gay, right? | 你知道我不是同性恋吧 |
| [06:29] | I don’t think you’re gay. | 我觉得你不是同性恋啊 |
| [06:30] | I-I mean, do I know guys that act less gay | 虽然我也认识很多行为爷们 |
| [06:33] | that have sex with other guys? Sure. | 但是会跟男人做爱的男人 |
| [06:37] | But I know you’re straight. | 不过我知道你是直男 |
| [06:38] | So, why bring me here? | 那你带我来干什么 |
| [06:40] | Look around this room. | 你扫一眼这里 |
| [06:42] | – See all the women here? – Yeah. | -看到那些女人了吗 -看到了 |
| [06:44] | Well, some of them are gay. Those are mine. | 有些女人是同性恋 她们是我的 |
| [06:46] | The rest are straight. | 剩下的就是异性恋 |
| [06:48] | Some of those are mine, too. | 当然 其中也有一些是我的 |
| [06:50] | And everyone who’s left | 最后落单的那些女人 |
| [06:52] | is gonna be drunk and horny by the end of the night | 在打烊的时候就会喝得烂醉如泥 欲火焚身 |
| [06:54] | and looking for someone who doesn’t think vaginas are yucky. | 然后会寻找那些不觉得阴道很”不好吃”的人 |
| [07:00] | Oh, oh, you mean me. | 原来你是在说我 |
| [07:02] | Yay. | 好棒哦 |
| [07:04] | I mean, yay. | 我是说 不错 |
| [07:10] | Okay, be careful. | 小心点 |
| [07:12] | Watch your leg. | 小心腿 |
| [07:13] | – You smell so good. – Thank you. | -你身上好香 -谢谢 |
| [07:17] | Let’s see how you taste. | 让我来尝尝你的味道 |
| [07:20] | Okay. All right. | 行了 行了 |
| [07:23] | I see the painkillers have kicked in. | 看来止痛药有效果了 |
| [07:25] | Oh, they sure did. | 当然有效果 |
| [07:26] | Right now, you could do anything to me | 现在 你可以对我做任何事 |
| [07:30] | and I wouldn’t remember. | 而且我都不会记得哦 |
| [07:35] | Did I wink? ‘Cause I was trying to wink. | 刚我抛媚眼了吗 我想抛来着 |
| [07:38] | Okay, let’s-let’s get you on the couch, huh? | 行了 你先去沙发上坐会吧 |
| [07:40] | – Hey, let’s get you on Nadine. – Oh, okay. | -那你在我身上”做”会吧 -好吧 |
| [07:43] | All right, fine. Let’s… just rest. | 行了 先 先歇一会吧 |
| [07:48] | Thank you so much for taking care of me. | 真的很感谢你照顾我 |
| [07:52] | Well, you have a broken leg. | 毕竟 你断了一条腿 |
| [07:54] | You don’t have any family or friends | 而且没有家人 没有朋友 |
| [07:57] | and you live on the fourth floor of a building with no elevator. | 而且你住在四楼 还没有电梯 |
| [07:59] | So, I couldn’t just leave you on the street. | 我总不能把你扔在大街上吧 |
| [08:05] | Could I? | 可以吗 |
| [08:06] | – You’re handsome. – Yeah. | -你好帅哦 -我知道 |
| [08:09] | You’re… drooling. | 你…在流口水 |
| [08:11] | I’m gonna get you some food. | 我去给你拿点吃的 |
| [08:13] | All right, but I have certain dietary constrictions. | 好吧 不过我饮食有忌口 |
| [08:17] | I don’t eat wheat, dairy, or anything with a face. | 我不吃小麦 不吃乳制品 也不吃带脸的 |
| [08:21] | Although… | 不过 |
| [08:22] | I would make an exception for you. | 我可以为了你破戒 |
| [08:28] | So, you’re here with your niece? | 所以你跟侄女一起来的吗 |
| [08:30] | Uh, yeah, she just recently came out of the closet | 是啊 她最近刚出柜 |
| [08:32] | and she’s painfully shy. | 而且她非常害羞 |
| [08:39] | Now, that’s what I call breast-feeding. | 这才叫母乳喂养[吮吸胸部] |
| [08:43] | She’s, uh, still trying to find her gay legs. | 她还在慢慢适应的过程中 |
| [08:46] | Ah. Well, she’s lucky she has an uncle who’s found his. | 是吗 所幸她叔叔已经完全适应了 |
| [08:50] | No, I’m straight. | 不 我是直男 |
| [08:52] | Why does everybody think I’m gay? | 为什么大家都觉得我是同性恋 |
| [08:53] | Oh, that is way too tart. | 哎哟 这个好酸哦 |
| [08:57] | Um, so, Paula, | 宝拉 |
| [08:59] | what do you do? | 你是做什么的 |
| [09:00] | I’m an investment banker. | 我是个投资银行家 |
| [09:02] | Oh, okay, maybe you can answer a question I’ve always had. | 那你能不能回答我一个一直想问的问题 |
| [09:05] | What’s the penalty for early withdrawal? | 提前取款[抽出]有什么后果吗 |
| [09:07] | Well, uh, that depends. | 这要看情况 |
| [09:09] | How big is your deposit? | 你的”存款”有多大 |
| [09:13] | Oh, interest is rising. | 利息[性趣]多”起来”了 |
| [09:16] | You know, the longer you keep it in, | 其实呢 在”里面”存得越久 |
| [09:18] | the bigger your reward. | “收益”就会越多 |
| [09:22] | Sometimes, the market collapses | 可是有时 市场会”疲软倒下” |
| [09:23] | and there’s nothing you can do about it. | 而你却也无力改变 |
| [09:26] | Uh, wait. Are-are we doing sexual innuendo | 等一下 这段对话到底是性暗示 |
| [09:28] | or are you asking for free financial advice? | 还是你在咨询我免费的理财建议 |
| [09:31] | Why can’t it be both? | 不能两者皆是吗 |
| [09:34] | You know, if you’re interested, | 其实 如果你有兴趣的话 |
| [09:36] | I’ve got a Malibu beach house. | 我在马里布海滩有栋别墅 |
| [09:38] | Well, if you’re interested, I’ve got very loose morals. | 如果你有兴趣的话 我没什么道德底线 |
| [09:41] | Yay. | 好棒哦 |
| [09:44] | I mean, yay. | 应该是 不错 |
| [09:55] | That was amazing. | 刚刚好爽哦 |
| [09:59] | Wait, it wasn’t? ‘Cause I can do better. | 你不喜欢吗 我可以做得更好的 |
| [10:01] | No, you were great. | 不 你做得很好 |
| [10:03] | Oh, thank God, ’cause I can’t do better. | 谢天谢地 因为刚才就做到最好了 |
| [10:06] | But there is something I probably should’ve told you | 不过有件事在上床前 |
| [10:09] | before we slept together. | 我就应该告诉你的 |
| [10:10] | Oh, God, husband or herpes? | 是有老公了 还是有性病 |
| [10:13] | Well, there was another guy. Paul. | 有个男人 他叫保罗 |
| [10:16] | Paul. Paula. That must have been confusing… | 保罗 宝拉 肯定不容易分清 |
| [10:19] | Very, yeah. Um… | 是啊 |
| [10:21] | You see, for the first 40 years of my life, | 其实 在40岁以前 |
| [10:25] | I was a man named Paul. | 我是一个叫保罗的男人 |
| [10:37] | You don’t look… 40. | 你看起来不像…40岁 |
| [10:50] | So, so, you were a guy? | 这么说 你以前也是个男人 |
| [10:52] | With, you know, an Adam’s apple and facial hair, | 也有喉结和胡子吗 |
| [10:54] | and the whole kit and kaboodle? | 还有下面那整套装备吗 |
| [10:58] | Yep, I had a kit and two kaboodles. | 是的 那整套装备我都有 |
| [11:01] | So, so, how did you get that? | 那你怎么变成这样了 |
| [11:03] | I mean, did you have to get a donor? | 我是说 你用找人捐赠器官吗 |
| [11:05] | ‘Cause I’ve never seen that box | 拿驾照要填以后捐不捐器官的时候 |
| [11:07] | to check on a driver’s license. | 我没见过有捐”那部分”的选项啊 |
| [11:10] | Actually, uh, I-I… I donated my own organ. | 事实上 是我把器官捐给别人了 |
| [11:14] | You see, what they do, they take your penis, all right? | 我要做的就是切掉鸡鸡 懂吗 |
| [11:17] | They slice it right down the middle… | 对准中央 一刀切下 |
| [11:21] | Okay, I’ll-I’ll spare you the details | 好吧 我蛋蛋具体经历了什么 |
| [11:23] | on what happened to my balls. | 就不给你讲那么详细了 |
| [11:26] | Well, I know what just happened to mine. | 我倒清楚我蛋蛋怎么了 |
| [11:29] | Look, I-I know I should have told you earlier. | 我知道应该早点告诉你的 |
| [11:31] | I just didn’t want to scare you away. I really like you. | 我只是不想把你吓跑 我真的喜欢你 |
| [11:34] | Oh, and I like you. I mean, we have a lot in common. | 我也喜欢你 我们有很多相似之处 |
| [11:37] | Clearly more than I realized. | 而且比我知道的还”多” |
| [11:40] | Maybe it’s best if I go. | 或许我该离开 |
| [11:41] | Oh, no, no, don’t do. | 不 不 不要走 |
| [11:42] | You sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [11:43] | Yeah, yeah, no, I like you. | 对啊 别走 我喜欢你 |
| [11:44] | I’m just, I’m trying to process this whole thing. | 我只是在尽力消化这件事 |
| [11:47] | I mean, for instance, | 我是说 比如 |
| [11:49] | there’s no chance it’ll grow back, right? | 你的鸡鸡不会再长回来了 对吧 |
| [11:52] | What, like-like a salamander’s tail? | 就像蜥蜴的尾巴那样吗 |
| [11:54] | No. Uh-uh. | 不会 |
| [11:55] | So one day you’re not gonna, you know, sneeze real hard | 你不会有一天打喷嚏用力过猛 |
| [11:57] | and suddenly I’m dating a dude? | 突然把鸡鸡喷出来吧 |
| [12:00] | Alan, I am as much a woman as you’ve ever dated. | 艾伦 我跟你以前的女人没有区别 |
| [12:04] | But if you’re not okay with this, it’s… | 但是如果你不能接受我的过去 那… |
| [12:06] | No, no, no, you know what? | 不 不 算了 |
| [12:07] | I am not going to let one little thing come between us. | 我不会让一点小事影响我们的关系 |
| [12:10] | Oh, it wasn’t little. | 我那”事”可不算小 |
| [12:13] | Okay, uh, Paula, bit of, uh, relationship advice? | 宝拉 算是两性关系建议吧 |
| [12:16] | Uh, no guy likes to hear | 没有一个男人希望听到 |
| [12:17] | that his girlfriend had a bigger penis than he does. | 女朋友的鸡鸡比他大 |
| [12:20] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [12:21] | I’m sorry. | 很抱歉 |
| [12:29] | Gesundheit. | 保重身体[德语] |
| [12:35] | -Morning. -Morning. | -早安 -早安 |
| [12:37] | Oh great, we’re out of bacon. | 妈的 培根没了 |
| [12:44] | We’re out of naked Heidi Klum. | 裸体超模也没了 |
| [12:48] | Damn. | 靠 |
| [12:50] | That’s Frank. He belongs to my date Nadine. | 这是弗兰克 是我女伴纳丁养的宠物 |
| [12:53] | Alan told me about her. | 艾伦跟我说了 |
| [12:55] | That’s the model you took to the emergency room. | 就是那个被你带去急诊室的模特 |
| [12:57] | Twice. She calls it our “special place.” | 而且是两次 她称之为我们的”定情地” |
| [13:01] | It’s the worst date of my life. | 这是我人生中最糟糕的一次约会 |
| [13:02] | Is her mouth broken? | 你撑烂了她的嘴吗 |
| [13:05] | No. | 不是 |
| [13:06] | So what’s the problem? | 那问题是什么 |
| [13:07] | The problem is, we have no connection. | 问题在于 我们不来电 |
| [13:09] | How can I be attracted to a woman’s body | 如果不爱一个女人的心灵 |
| [13:11] | if I’m not attracted to her mind? | 又怎能爱上她的身体呢 |
| [13:12] | Sounds kind of gay, but all right. | 听起来有点像同性恋 不过也没什么 |
| [13:16] | Hey, Walden. | 早啊 沃顿 |
| [13:17] | Jenny. | 珍妮 |
| [13:21] | Zippy. | 废柴[艾伦] |
| [13:23] | Just a heads-up, there’s a girl asleep on the couch. | 友情提示 有个女孩睡在沙发上 |
| [13:26] | Don’t worry, I know the drill, boss. | 放心老板 我知道怎么做 |
| [13:29] | Give her 500 bucks, pat her down for silverware | 给她500块 搜她身上有没有偷银具 |
| [13:32] | and throw her in a taxi. | 然后丢进计程车 |
| [13:34] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:36] | Sorry. Charlie flashback. | 抱歉 突然想到了查理 |
| [13:41] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [13:45] | That’s a pig. | 这是一头猪啊 |
| [13:46] | Whoa! That’s a leech. | 这是一只吸血虫啊 |
| [13:50] | Long story, crazy night. | 说来话长 离谱的一晚 |
| [13:51] | Pig or no pig, not as crazy as mine. | 不管有没有猪 你都没我离谱 |
| [13:54] | 100 bucks says mine beats yours. | 100块赌我比你离谱 |
| [13:56] | I had sex with a woman who used to be a man. | 我跟一个曾经是男人的女人上床了 |
| [13:59] | And we have a winner. | 胜负见分晓啦 |
| [14:02] | What, really? | 真的吗 |
| [14:04] | I can’t believe that you would… | 我不相信你会… |
| [14:05] | Well, ah, then again, it’s you. | 不过转念一想 也不出奇 |
| [14:07] | Hey, hey, say what you want, | 随你怎么说 |
| [14:10] | but she really knows her way around a man. | 但她真的很懂怎么侍候男人 |
| [14:11] | It’s like climbing Mount Everest with a really good Sherpa. | 就像跟优秀的西藏向导一起爬珠峰 |
| [14:15] | Yeah, but you don’t shtup the Sherpa. | 是啊 但你不和西藏向导上床啊 |
| [14:18] | How did it work? Like, where did it… go? | 怎么变性啊 那玩意去哪儿了呢 |
| [14:21] | Oh, that’s easy. See, what they do is, | 很容易的 只需 |
| [14:22] | they slice the penis down the middle… | 对准中央 一刀切下 |
| [14:27] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [14:29] | Is there somewhere I can take a bath? | 我能不能洗个澡呢 |
| [14:32] | Oh, yeah, upstairs. Here, I’ll help you. | 当然 在楼上 我来帮你 |
| [14:34] | No. | 不 |
| [14:35] | I will never get out of here | 如果我什么事都靠你 |
| [14:36] | if I don’t start to do things on my own. | 就永远不能离开这里 |
| [14:39] | Unless you don’t want me to leave. | 除非你不想让我离开 |
| [14:43] | Top of the stairs, on the left. | 楼上 左手边 |
| [14:47] | That girl is really messed up. | 这个女孩伤得太重了 |
| [14:49] | The only thing wrong with mine | 我那位唯一让我不爽的 |
| [14:50] | is the occasional five o’clock shadow. | 就是她偶尔新长出的胡须 |
| [14:52] | You know, I’ve got to say, Alan, | 我要说 艾伦 |
| [14:54] | you going out with a post-op transgendered person | 你和一个术后变性人约会 |
| [14:57] | without any judgment– | 而心中没有任何偏见 |
| [14:58] | very enlightened. | 我觉得很赞 |
| [14:59] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [15:00] | And you should see her boobs. | 你该见识见识她的咪咪 |
| [15:07] | You’re getting a call from a “Hore?” | 一个叫霍尔[妓女]的打来电话 |
| [15:12] | Hi, Nadine. | 喂 纳丁 |
| [15:15] | You got… you got it stuck where? | 你把它卡到哪里了 |
| [15:17] | Don’t move, I’ll be right there. | 不要动 我马上过去 |
| [15:22] | Nadine got her boot caught in the banister. | 纳丁的护靴卡到楼梯扶栏里了 |
| [15:26] | Excuse me. | 失陪了 |
| [15:28] | Never mind, I got it. | 不用了 我搞定了 |
| [15:35] | 500 bucks and cab fare, and he’d be out of this. | 给个500块加计程车费 他早脱身了 |
| [15:40] | I can’t believe how easily we agreed on a movie. | 真不敢相信我们这么容易就选定电影了 |
| [15:42] | I know, men and women aren’t usually on the same page. | 就是啊 男人和女人总是很难达成一致 |
| [15:44] | Oh, oh, here it is. | 就是这里 |
| [15:45] | Uh, theater three, Julia Roberts in Hashtag: I Love You. | 三号厅 《茱丽娅·罗伯茨我爱你》 |
| [15:49] | Listen, I’m gonna get a soda. Do you want something? | 我去买汽水 你要不要来点什么 |
| [15:51] | Oh, sure. Uh, oh, let me see what I’m in the mood for. | 当然 我看看我想吃什么 |
| [15:53] | Oh, uh, want to split a hot dog? | 想分着吃热狗吗[剪开鸡鸡] |
| [15:55] | Oh, I am so sorry. | 太对不起了 |
| [15:57] | It’s fine. | 没事 |
| [15:58] | Hi. Uh, can we have two Diet Cokes | 你好 麻烦给我两杯健怡可乐 |
| [16:00] | and a hot dog, please? | 一份热狗 |
| [16:01] | Don’t worry, I got it. | 不用了 我来 |
| [16:03] | Okay, but I’m used to paying. | 好吧 但我习惯了男人付钱 |
| [16:09] | This is… this is so weird. | 这真是太奇怪了 |
| [16:12] | Sorry, just, you know, old habits from when I was Paul. | 对不起 这是保罗的旧习惯 |
| [16:14] | I-I hope you’re okay with that. | 我希望你没有意见 |
| [16:16] | I think it’s pretty clear that I’m willing | 我想很明显我很乐意 |
| [16:17] | to work around things in this relationship. | 适应这段关系 |
| [16:20] | Well, I appreciate it, | 太感谢了 |
| [16:20] | because I’m having a great time with you. | 因为我和你在一起很开心 |
| [16:22] | Oh, well, so am I. | 我也是 |
| [16:24] | Uh, but going forward, you’re gonna have to learn | 但往后 你得学会 |
| [16:25] | to embrace my masculinity and, you know, accept the fact | 适应我的男子气概 接受这个事实 |
| [16:28] | that I’m the– thank you– | 我才是 谢谢 |
| [16:29] | man in this relationship. | 这段关系里的男性角色 |
| [16:32] | Oh, it’s chilly in here. | 这里好冷 |
| [16:33] | Oh, here. Take my jacket. | 给 外套给你 |
| [16:36] | Oh. Cozy. | 好温暖哦 |
| [16:52] | Who’s there? | 是谁 |
| [16:58] | It’s just me, silly. | 是我 小傻瓜 |
| [17:02] | Is everything all right? | 你还好吗 |
| [17:05] | You’ve taken such good care of me, | 你把我照顾得这么好 |
| [17:08] | I thought it was time for me | 我想是时候 |
| [17:11] | to take good care of you. | 我来好好”照顾”你 |
| [17:14] | Oh, that’s not necessary. | 没这个必要 |
| [17:16] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [17:18] | We could play doctor. | 我们可以扮医生 |
| [17:19] | Haven’t you seen enough doctors? | 你看医生还没看够吗 |
| [17:22] | Okay, we could play Pat and Vanna. | 好吧 我们扮演帕特和瓦娜 |
| [17:24] | The clue is “Things people do naked.” | 线索是 人们脱光了做的事 |
| [17:30] | Okay, Nadine, just stop. | 纳丁 别这样 |
| [17:33] | What’s wrong? | 有什么不对 |
| [17:35] | We’re not gonna sleep together. | 我不会和你上床的 |
| [17:39] | Are you saying | 你是说 |
| [17:41] | that you don’t want any of this? | 你不想要这个尤物吗 |
| [17:49] | “N,” And I’d like to buy five O’s. | 不想 一百万个不情愿 |
| [17:55] | Look, we-we just don’t click. | 我们之间不来电 |
| [17:57] | I can’t believe you led me on. | 你居然这样误导我 |
| [17:59] | Led you on? I let you in. I was trying to help you. | 哪有 我是让你进门 帮助你 |
| [18:03] | Do I look like I need your help? | 我看起来需要你的帮助吗 |
| [18:24] | Yeah? No, I’m not doing anything. | 喂 我没做什么 |
| [18:27] | Seriously? | 不是吧 |
| [18:28] | I know, I know. I should say something. | 就是啊 我应该出个声 |
| [18:30] | No, no, it’s fine. | 不 算了 |
| [18:31] | I’ll come over after the movie. | 我看完电影后过去 |
| [18:33] | He should go now. | 他现在就该走 |
| [18:35] | What’s that? | 你说什么 |
| [18:37] | Just ignore him. People can only make you angry | 无视他就行 你搭理他 |
| [18:39] | with your permission. | 只会让你生气 |
| [18:41] | Right. But if he opens his mouth again, I will get the usher. | 好 但如果他再开口 我就去找引座员 |
| [18:45] | I got my review. | 我的影评就是 |
| [18:46] | Hashtag piece of crap. | #一部烂片 |
| [18:49] | All right, you know what? That’s it. | 好吧 受够了 |
| [18:51] | Oh, wait, oh, no, no, no, Let me do this. | 慢着 别这样 让我来 |
| [18:52] | Alan, Alan, you don’t have to do this. | 艾伦 你不用这么做 |
| [18:53] | Yes, I do. I’m the man | 我是男人 |
| [18:55] | and this is what a man does. Now, hold my Jujubes. | 这是男人做的事 帮我拿着果胶软糖 |
| [18:59] | – Uh, excuse me, sir? – What? | -不好意思 先生 -什么事 |
| [19:01] | Um, uh, we’re all trying to watch the movie | 大家在看电影呢 |
| [19:03] | and I don’t know if you remember what the, uh, | 我不知道你是否记得 |
| [19:05] | the little cartoon popcorn bucket said, | 卡通爆米花桶提醒过 |
| [19:07] | but “Silence is golden.” | 沉默是金 |
| [19:10] | Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? | 是吗 你想怎样 |
| [19:13] | Uh, well, I just did it | 我已经做了 |
| [19:14] | and it didn’t seem very effective, so… | 但没啥成效 所以… |
| [19:17] | Go sit down. | 回去坐下吧 |
| [19:20] | Okay, you know what? Why don’t you sit down? | 知道吗 不如你坐下吧 |
| [19:22] | What the… What… | 搞什么 搞什么 |
| [19:23] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:25] | Don’t apologize. | 不用道歉 |
| [19:27] | Paula? Hashtag I love you. | 宝拉 我爱你 |
| [19:34] | I thought this relationship was going somewhere. | 我还以为这段关系能够有结果[去哪里] |
| [19:37] | Okay, seriously? The only place this relationship is going | 你说真的吗 这段关系唯一去的地方 |
| [19:40] | is the emergency room. | 就是急诊室 |
| [19:42] | I thought this was something special. | 我以为咱们之间是特别的 |
| [19:43] | I thought I was going to be Mrs. Nadine Hore-Schmidt. | 我以为我会成为纳丁·霍尔施密特[马屎]夫人 |
| [19:48] | Okay, this is crazy. | 这也太疯狂了 |
| [19:50] | I mean, we wouldn’t have gotten past the first date | 如果你没有从我家阳台上掉下去 |
| [19:52] | if you hadn’t fallen off my deck. | 我们第一次约会早不了了之了 |
| [19:55] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [19:56] | I did fall off your deck. | 我的确从你家阳台上掉下去了 |
| [19:58] | I’ll be sure to mention that to my lawyer. | 我会向我的律师提到这点的 |
| [20:00] | Your lawyer? | 你的律师 |
| [20:01] | You heard me. | 没错 |
| [20:02] | Perhaps you’ve seen his picture on the side of the bus? | 也许你在巴士车身上见过他的照片 |
| [20:05] | You don’t get to be the numero uno accidente lawyer | 成为顶级意外事故律师 |
| [20:07] | by accident. | 可不是靠意外的 |
| [20:09] | Come on, Frank. | 走吧 弗兰克 |
| [20:15] | Take care of yourself, Frank. | 你多保重 弗兰克 |
| [20:21] | What’s going on? | 出什么事了 |
| [20:22] | Oh, Nadine is going to sue me | 纳丁准备告我 |
| [20:25] | because I won’t sleep with her. | 因为我不愿意和她上床 |
| [20:26] | Oh, that’s a thing? | 还有这种事啊 |
| [20:28] | Don’t tell Alan. | 别告诉艾伦 |
| [20:35] | Oh, that can’t be. | 不可能吧 |
| [20:44] | Hi, Nadine. | 你好 纳丁 |
| [20:47] | I’ll be right there. | 我马上过去 |
| [20:50] | Nadine got hit by a bus. | 纳丁被巴士撞了 |
| [20:53] | Back to our special place. | 又要回到我和她的定情地了 |
| [21:07] | What do you want to watch? | 你想看什么 |
| [21:08] | I know someone wants to watch Babe again. | 我知道有人想再看一遍《小猪宝贝》 |