时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | So, Marty, uh, what are we celebrating? | 马蒂 今天是庆祝什么呢 |
[00:05] | My prostate exam. | 我的前列腺检查结果 |
[00:08] | Doctor gave me a thumbs up. | 医生给了我个”大拇指” |
[00:11] | At least it felt like a thumb. | 至少感觉起来像是大拇指吧 |
[00:13] | Well, I’m glad to hear you’re in good health. | 我听到你健康 很开心 |
[00:15] | Yes, he said I could live another ten years | 他说如果我不再喝酒的话 |
[00:18] | if I give up alcohol. | 还能多活10年 |
[00:20] | Yeah, but you’re drinking Scotch. | 但你不是正喝着威士忌吗 |
[00:21] | He had a finger up my keister. | 他当时手指就在我屁眼里 |
[00:23] | What, am I gonna argue? | 难道我还跟他吵吗 |
[00:26] | It’s true; he never complains when I put my… | 这是真的 我放进他那里时 他也从不… |
[00:30] | What is that, the horrifying conversation alarm? | 啥声音 可怕聊天内容警报器吗 |
[00:34] | I was hoping it was a truck about to back over me. | 我还希望是在倒车要碾死我的卡车警示声呢 |
[00:37] | It’s time for my pills. | 是我该吃药了 |
[00:39] | Evy, I think I left them in the car. | 小伊 我放车上了 |
[00:40] | – Would you get them? – Of course, dear. | -能帮我拿吗 -当然没问题 |
[00:42] | I think the keys are in my pocket. | 钥匙好像在我口袋里 |
[00:44] | You may have to root around for them. | 你伸手进去掏吧 |
[00:46] | Really nice try. | 你想得美 |
[00:48] | I-I got to remember that. | 我得记住这招 |
[00:49] | That’s a good one. | 这招高啊 |
[00:51] | You actually have to own something to have keys. | 你得真拥有着什么才会有钥匙 |
[00:55] | Okay, let me tell you why I’m really here. | 我要告诉你们今天来的真实理由 |
[00:58] | You know I have been dating your mother for some time now. | 知道我跟你们妈在一起一段时间了吧 |
[01:01] | Uh, actually, she’s not my mom. | 其实她不是我妈 |
[01:03] | Yeah, or mine. | 也不是我妈 |
[01:04] | Well, you boys are a couple and she’s your daughter, | 你们俩是一对 她是你们女儿 |
[01:07] | so we’re like family. | 所以我们就像一家人嘛 |
[01:11] | No, we’re-we’re not married. | 我们没有结婚 |
[01:13] | Oh, but someday. | 有天会的 |
[01:15] | No, no, we-we don’t want to get married. | 没 我们没有想要结婚 |
[01:18] | So why did you guys fight so hard for it? | 那你们基佬干嘛这么尽力争取 |
[01:21] | Yeah, come on, Walden. | 对啊 沃顿 |
[01:23] | You’re here, you’re queer, get used to it. | 你存在 你是基 不要歧视 |
[01:26] | As I was saying, | 言归正传 |
[01:28] | your mother is a beautiful, warm, compassionate woman. | 你妈妈是个美丽 温暖 富同情心的女人 |
[01:32] | Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. | 每个人都能有自己的看法 |
[01:35] | I would like to ask for her hand in marriage. | 我想要跟她求婚 |
[01:38] | What? | 什么 |
[01:39] | So, what do you say? | 你们怎么说 |
[01:41] | Can I make an honest woman out of your mother? | 同意我让你们妈妈跟我白头偕老吗 |
[01:44] | I doubt it. | 这话说不准 |
[01:47] | But you have my blessing. | 但是我祝福你 |
[01:50] | Mine, too. Congratulations. | 我也祝福你 恭喜 |
[01:51] | Uh, wait, not-not so fast. | 等等 别这么着急 |
[01:53] | I have a question first. | 我想先问个问题 |
[01:54] | Would you allow her son to come and live with you | 如果你的继子现在居住的房间 |
[01:57] | if his current living quarters were to, say, | 突然变成了桑拿房 |
[01:58] | suddenly become a sauna? | 你同意他去你家住吗 |
[02:02] | Any son of Evelyn’s | 只要是伊芙琳的孩子 |
[02:04] | always has a place in my home. | 我家大门永远为他敞开 |
[02:07] | Welcome to the family, Dad. | 欢迎来到我们家 老爹 |
[02:11] | Here are your pills, dear. | 亲爱的 你的药来了 |
[02:12] | Look at that, a hot chick carrying a bag of drugs. | 快看 靓妞拿着一大包药[毒品] |
[02:16] | It’s like 1970 all over again. | 感觉又回到1970年啊 |
[02:20] | Let’s start with the muscle relaxers. | 先吃肌肉松弛剂吧 |
[02:22] | One for you, two for me. | 你一颗 我两颗 |
[02:26] | What are all those for? | 这些药都是干嘛的 |
[02:28] | It’s a combination. | 包罗万象 |
[02:29] | Hardeners and softeners. | 让某些部分硬 或某些部分软 |
[02:31] | I-I have to take these or… | 我得吃这些 不然… |
[02:36] | – Marty, are you okay? – Quick, quick. | -马蒂 你还好吧 快 快 |
[02:38] | P-Press the medic alert. | 快按我的紧急医疗通知器 |
[02:42] | What is this? | 这是什么 |
[02:44] | This is a ring. | 这是个戒指 |
[02:47] | I’ve fallen for you, and I can’t get up. | 我为你坠入了爱河 从此出不来了 |
[02:50] | What are you saying? | 你是什么意思 |
[02:52] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
[02:53] | I can’t believe this. | 我真不敢相信 |
[02:55] | You are so romantic. | 你真是太浪漫了 |
[02:58] | Will I have to sign a prenup? | 我需要签婚前契约吗 |
[02:59] | Of course not. | 当然不用 |
[03:00] | Then yes, yes. | 那当然好 |
[03:02] | And I want your son to be my best man. | 我还想请你儿子当我的伴郎 |
[03:05] | Oh, my God, really? | 真的吗 |
[03:07] | Not you; pretty boy over there. | 不是你 是旁边的小帅哥 |
[03:12] | In my heart, I knew. | 其实我心里早知道了 |
[03:16] | Okay, but at the ceremony, | 行 但在婚礼时 |
[03:18] | I’m not gonna root around in your pocket for the ring. | 我可不会伸手进你口袋里掏戒指啊 |
[03:21] | And, Jennifer, you’ll be my maid of honor? | 珍妮佛 你能当我的伴娘吗 |
[03:23] | Of course. It’s like I’m not even here. | 我就知道 完全当我是透明人 |
[03:25] | Sweet. I love straight weddings. | 太好了 我喜欢异性恋的婚礼 |
[03:28] | A bunch of drunk bridesmaids crying | 一帮喝醉的伴娘嚎啕大哭 |
[03:30] | because they don’t have a man. | 因为她们还是单身 |
[03:31] | It’s like eating fish in a barrel. | 一泡一个准 得来全不费功夫 |
[03:34] | So, where are we gonna have the ceremony? | 所以我们要去哪里办婚礼呢 |
[03:36] | Why don’t we just have it here at our place? | 为什么不在我们家这里办呢 |
[03:38] | Uh, maybe we should discuss this | 或许”我们”应该在你提议 |
[03:41] | before we offer up our place. | 在”我们”家举办前 商量一下 |
[03:43] | Do what I do; just go along with it, | 学我嘛 她说啥就是啥 |
[03:45] | and later, take it out on him in the bedroom. | 等晚点再拉上床好好”教训”他 |
[04:04] | Oh, Berta, uh, can I try something out on you? | 波塔 我能跟你试个东西吗 |
[04:06] | There isn’t enough alcohol in the world. | 全世界的酒灌我都不够让我跟你”试” |
[04:09] | No, I’m writing a toast for my mother’s wedding. | 我为我妈的婚礼写了点祝词 |
[04:11] | Uh, so far I’ve got, uh, | 目前我写了 |
[04:12] | “Ladies and gentlemen, I am so pleased | “先生女士们 我今天很高兴 |
[04:14] | to welcome Marty Pepper to our family. | 能欢迎马蒂·佩珀加入我们家 |
[04:16] | Uh, to know Marty is to love him. | 马蒂十分人见人爱 |
[04:18] | He’s a kind, sweet and generous man, | 他是个很和蔼 很亲切 也很大方的人 |
[04:20] | which proves once and for all | 这也再次证明了 |
[04:21] | that opposites really do attract.” | 异性真的会相吸” |
[04:23] | So, you’re telling everyone you’re a son of a bitch. | 所以你想告诉大家你是个贱人的儿子 |
[04:27] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
[04:30] | Hey, Alan, I need your help | 艾伦 我需要你帮忙 |
[04:32] | planning this geriatric bachelor party. | 安排这个老年人单身汉派对 |
[04:34] | I started reaching out to the guys | 我已经开始在联系那些 |
[04:35] | on Marty’s invite list, | 马蒂的亲友了 |
[04:37] | and so far I got dead, dead, coma, Florida. | 目前有 死了 死了 昏迷 佛罗里达 |
[04:41] | Hey, uh, where you thinking about having this thing anyway? | 你打算去哪里办这个派对呢 |
[04:44] | Well, at this point, either Boca | 目前看来 去博卡庆祝 |
[04:45] | or the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. | 不然就是得去好莱坞墓园了 |
[04:48] | How about a strip club? | 去脱衣舞吧如何 |
[04:49] | I know a place with a great all-you-can-eat buffet. | 我知道有一家里面还有吃到饱自助 |
[04:52] | Two things you never want to hear together. | 有两样东西是不该一起出现的 |
[04:53] | “Strip club” and “all-you-can-eat”” | “脱衣舞吧”跟”吃到饱” |
[04:56] | Besides, Marty doesn’t want strippers. | 而且马蒂也不会要脱衣舞女 |
[04:57] | You can’t have a bachelor party without strippers. | 没有脱衣舞女的单身汉派对算什么嘛 |
[04:59] | But more importantly, | 但更重要的是 |
[05:00] | we can’t let the last naked woman this man sees | 我们不能让这男人最后看到的裸女 |
[05:02] | be my mother. | 是我妈啊 |
[05:05] | My granddaughters do a great two-for-one show. | 我的孙女很会搞二合一表演 |
[05:08] | I can get you a family discount. | 我能帮你们弄亲属折扣 |
[05:11] | No, no. | 不要 不要 |
[05:12] | We… no strippers. | 我们不请脱衣舞女 |
[05:13] | We’re just doing a nice steak dinner. | 我们就好好吃一顿温馨牛排晚餐 |
[05:15] | Well, if there’s not gonna be any strippers, | 如果没有脱衣舞女来 |
[05:16] | then I’m not going. | 那我不去了 |
[05:18] | Actually, you’re not on the list. | 本来就没有要请你啊 |
[05:22] | Okay, okay, one more time. | 好 好 再说一次 |
[05:24] | I want a nice filet, medium-rare, | 一块上好菲力牛排 4分熟 |
[05:27] | and then you give it a nice sear, | 高速加温封住肉汁 |
[05:29] | and then you put it in the food processor, | 然后放进食物处理器 |
[05:32] | and you give it a pump | 然后按下按钮 |
[05:33] | three times on chop– boom, boom, boom– | 剁肉模式3下 剁剁剁 |
[05:35] | and two times on dice– boom, boom. | 切丁模式两下 切 切 |
[05:38] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[05:42] | Is, uh, this the party | 这里是派对现场 |
[05:44] | or the bathroom? | 还是厕所 |
[05:46] | Here. Over here, Tim. | 来 过来坐 蒂姆 |
[05:49] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[05:50] | What’s with the glasses? | 戴啥眼睛啊 |
[05:51] | You look like Bono. | 你以为你是博诺啊[U2乐团主唱] |
[05:53] | I was fortunate enough to work with Bono. | 我曾经跟他合作过 |
[05:56] | Yeah, and, uh, at the time, he was married to Cher. | 那时候他还跟雪儿在一起呢 |
[06:00] | I just got back from the eye doctor. | 我刚才去看了眼科 |
[06:02] | Boy, he robbed me blind. | 把我敲诈到眼都要瞎了 |
[06:05] | Can only read the top line of the eye chart. | 我只能看到视力检查表的最上一层 |
[06:08] | It says P. | 是个P[与尿尿同音] |
[06:10] | Then I have to. | 然后我就忍不住要去尿尿了 |
[06:13] | I-I’d like to, uh, to propose a toast. | 我有一段祝酒词 |
[06:15] | Uh, first to Walden | 首先要敬沃顿 |
[06:17] | for putting all this together at the last minute. | 这么短的时间内安排了这么好的派对 |
[06:19] | Well, it was tough, but I managed to get a table | 虽然很不容易 但我还是在周四下午3点 |
[06:21] | 3:00 P.M. on a Thursday. | 订到一张桌子 |
[06:24] | To Walden and his wife Alan. | 敬沃顿与他妻子艾伦 |
[06:29] | That is one ugly woman. | 他这老婆可真是够丑 |
[06:33] | Um, my, uh, | 我… |
[06:35] | my mother and I have had our ups and downs, | 与我妈妈有过好日子 也有过争执 |
[06:37] | but I love her, and I want her to be happy. | 但我爱她 也希望她开心 |
[06:41] | And you, Marty Pepper, make her happy, | 而你 马蒂·佩珀 让她开心 |
[06:43] | which means I love you. | 所以我也爱你 |
[06:47] | I thought we said no broads. | 我以为说好了不带女人来的 |
[06:51] | I had a gay friend who was arrested for sodomy, | 我有个同志朋友因鸡奸被逮捕 |
[06:54] | and he had the charge reduced to following too closely. | 最后他让指控罪名减轻到为”走得太近” |
[06:58] | Uh, anyway, | 总而言之 |
[06:59] | um, I want to wish you both the best. Cheers. | 祝你们俩一切都好 干杯 |
[07:03] | Tim needs a drink. | 蒂姆来一杯吧 |
[07:04] | No, no, no, no, uh, I’m driving. | 不了不了 我还得开车呢 |
[07:08] | Marty, last time I saw you, | 马蒂 我最后一次见你 |
[07:11] | we were in a threesome with that cute little redhead. | 还是跟一个红发小妞玩3P的时候 |
[07:14] | What ever happened to her? | 她后来怎么样了 |
[07:16] | I’m marrying her. | 我现在娶的就是她啊 |
[07:17] | Nice girl. | 那妞不错 |
[07:19] | Hard worker. | “干活”很努力 |
[07:22] | Well, I’d like to say on behalf of all of us, | 我想代表在座的各位说一句 |
[07:25] | getting married? | 结婚 |
[07:25] | What the hell are you doing, Marty? | 你脑子进水啦 马蒂 |
[07:28] | Why do you need seven wives? | 你为什么需要7个老婆 |
[07:29] | You can barely get through nine holes of golf! | 你练习高尔夫时 连9个洞都打不完 |
[07:33] | She’s a sweet kid, and I need a little warmth | 她是个小甜心 在人生的最后 |
[07:37] | and comfort at the end of the day. | 我想要点温暖和安慰 |
[07:39] | Have you ever considered a nice piece of toast? | 你有没有考虑过来一片烤面包 |
[07:44] | Uh, well, I would like to say something. | 我有话想说 |
[07:47] | Uh… I might be in the minority here, | 我可能是这里年纪最小 |
[07:50] | but I still believe in love, | 但我仍相信爱情 |
[07:52] | and it’s inspiring to know | 即使在您这么大的年纪 |
[07:55] | that even at your age, you can still find it. | 还能找到爱情 真是十分鼓舞人心 |
[07:58] | Now we have two broads. | 现在有两位多愁善感的女人了 |
[08:01] | The kid is right. | 这孩子说得对 |
[08:03] | Nothing is more important than love, | 没有什么比爱更重要 |
[08:06] | except a good opening weekend. | 除了一部好电影的首映周末 |
[08:10] | And salt. | 还有盐 |
[08:13] | Damn it, I really miss salt. | 靠 我太怀念盐的味道了 |
[08:16] | Okay, we’re here because we love this man. | 我们之所以在这里 是因为我们爱这个男人 |
[08:18] | You know, not the way you two love each other. | 虽然不像两位同志对彼此的那种爱 |
[08:23] | But… | 但 |
[08:23] | love, n-nonetheless. | 两者都是爱 |
[08:28] | We’re also here for the free steak, am I right? | 我们也是为了免费的牛排来这里的 对吧 |
[08:31] | Excuse me. | 打断一下 |
[08:34] | Who is this kid? | 这是谁的孩子 |
[08:35] | He’s Evelyn’s son. | 他是伊芙琳的儿子 |
[08:37] | Who’s Evelyn? | 谁是伊芙琳 |
[08:39] | The woman I’m marrying. | 就是我要娶那女人啊 |
[08:41] | You’re getting married? | 你居然要结婚了啊 |
[08:42] | Mazel tov! | 恭喜你 |
[08:47] | Which one of you guys is… Marty? | 请问在座哪位是 马蒂 |
[08:53] | I’m Sugar. | 我是小蜜糖 |
[08:54] | I’m Cinnamon. | 我是小肉桂 |
[08:55] | – I’m rich! – I’m richer! | -我是土豪 -我是款爷 |
[08:59] | Hey, I thought we said no strippers. | 我们说过不请脱衣舞娘的 |
[09:00] | It’s a bachelor party; loosen up. | 这可是单身派对 放轻松 |
[09:02] | Hey, uh, Marty, you up for a lap dance? | 马蒂 你准备好来一段大腿舞了吗 |
[09:04] | I haven’t been up for a lap dance | 我从里根执政时期[1976年] |
[09:07] | since the Reagan Administration. | 就没有享受过大腿舞了 |
[09:09] | Governor Reagan’s. | 那时他还是加州州长 |
[09:11] | I think I wrote that joke. | 这个哏是我想出来的吧 |
[09:14] | Girls, give him something to remember. | 姑娘们 给他点东西回忆回忆 |
[09:16] | Uh, they’re the green ones. | 记住 是绿色的小药片 |
[09:20] | Oh, uh, and don’t forget, | 被忘了 |
[09:21] | I’m only paying for an hour, | 我只付你们一个小时的钱 |
[09:22] | so whether you’re in the middle of a lap dance or CPR, | 时间一到 无论是在跳大腿舞还是在抢救他 |
[09:24] | you got to get out of there. | 你们必须从里面出来 |
[09:30] | I want to find something Marty will like. | 我得挑一件马蒂喜欢的 |
[09:33] | I wonder if they have edible underwear for diabetics. | 不知道这里有没有给糖尿病患者的可食用内衣 |
[09:36] | Well, they do have something called | 这里的确有名为 |
[09:37] | “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Body Butter.” | “真不敢相信这不是润肤乳”的玩意儿 |
[09:41] | Hey, you’d look good in these. | 你穿这套会很好看 |
[09:42] | No, dear, Marty would look good in them. | 不 宝贝 是马蒂穿起来会很好看 |
[09:46] | Oh, you guys are kinky. | 你们俩好恶趣味哦 |
[09:48] | If we got any kinkier, we’d upset the animal rights people. | 如果我们更恶趣味一点 那些保护动物的人该不爽我们了 |
[09:54] | So, how about you, Jennifer? | 你呢 珍妮佛 |
[09:57] | Are there wedding bells in your future? | 你未来会计划结婚吗 |
[09:58] | It is legal now. | 现在同性恋是合法的了 |
[10:00] | Oh, don’t remind me. | 别跟我提这茬 |
[10:01] | I used to have the perfect get-out-of-relationship-free card. | 我以前有着完美的”甩妞”免死金牌 |
[10:04] | “Oh, I’d love to marry you, | “我真的很想跟你结婚 |
[10:07] | but darn all that prejudice and intolerance. | 可惜这世俗那么多的歧视与偏见 |
[10:10] | bite me, Supreme Court.” | 要怪就怪最高法院” |
[10:12] | Well, you never know. | 世事难料啊 |
[10:14] | I didn’t expect to find love this late in life, | 我也没想到年纪这么大了还能找到真爱 |
[10:16] | but there’s just something about Marty. | 但马蒂的确有吸引我的地方 |
[10:18] | Yeah, there’s just 400 million things about Marty. | 是啊 他身上有”4亿处”吸引你的地方 |
[10:22] | Yes, but I would love him | 话虽如此 但如果他身家 |
[10:23] | if he was only worth 200 million. | 只有2亿 我也照样爱他 |
[10:27] | You know, I was really touched | 当你邀请我当你的伴娘时 |
[10:29] | when you asked me to be your maid of honor. | 说实话 我当时真的很感动 |
[10:31] | Well, you’re the daughter of my only son. | 你是我唯一儿子的女儿 |
[10:33] | Well, what about Alan? | 那艾伦呢 |
[10:35] | Don’t spoil my day, dear. | 别破坏我今天的心情 亲爱的 |
[10:37] | And having you with me is like | 让你陪着我就好像 |
[10:39] | having Charlie around. | 查理也来出席了 |
[10:41] | This will be the only one of my weddings without him. | 这将会是我唯一一个没有他出席的婚礼 |
[10:43] | Well, except the first one, of course. | 当然 除了你初次结婚的时候 |
[10:45] | Oh, no, dear, he was there. | 不 亲爱的 他在我肚子里呢 |
[10:47] | It was the first time we got drunk together. | 那是我们第一次一起喝醉 |
[10:53] | Where’s Marty? | 马蒂去哪儿了 |
[10:54] | Nobody likes a stripper hog. | 不懂分享妞的男人大家都讨厌 |
[10:56] | Oh, speaking of hogs, | 说到猪[不懂分享妞] |
[10:58] | I once did a show with Miss Piggy. | 我又一次跟猪小姐合作节目 |
[11:00] | You know there’s a guy under there? | 你知道她的配音员其实是男人吗 |
[11:04] | You know, maybe we should go check on him. | 或许我们该去看看他 |
[11:06] | I’m fine! | 我没事 |
[11:08] | Best present that I ever had in my whole life. | 这是我这辈子收到最棒的礼物 |
[11:11] | Thank you, Walden. | 谢谢你 沃顿 |
[11:12] | Actually, the strippers were my idea. | 其实 请脱衣舞娘是我的主意 |
[11:14] | Oh, well, then you tell your mother | 那你回去告诉你妈 |
[11:16] | the wedding is off. | 婚礼取消 |
[11:18] | Tell her what? | 告诉她什么 |
[11:19] | The wedding is off. | 婚礼取消 |
[11:22] | Okay. Wedding pool. | 果然 结不成婚的赌盘 |
[11:24] | I have “misplaces teeth | 我写的是”假牙装错 |
[11:26] | and can’t recite the vows.” | 和不能背出婚礼誓词” |
[11:30] | I had, uh… | 我写的是 |
[11:33] | “Died during the lap dance.” | “在享受大腿舞时死了” |
[11:39] | I had “This man’s name is Gary. | 我写的是 “此人名叫盖里 |
[11:42] | If found, | 如你发现他 |
[11:44] | Take him to 104 North Beverly Drive. | 请把他送回比弗利山庄北路104号 |
[11:48] | Do not give him Scotch” | 千万别让他喝威士忌酒” |
[11:52] | Well, I have… | 我写的是 |
[11:53] | “Alan will screw this up somehow.” | “艾伦一定会坏事的” |
[11:55] | I win. | 我猜中了 |
[11:57] | Are you serious? | 你是说真的吗 |
[11:58] | You can’t call off the wedding. | 婚礼你不能随便取消 |
[11:59] | You’re not thinking clearly. | 你现在是脑子不清楚 |
[12:00] | I have never been more clear about anything in my life, | 我这辈子脑子从来没有这么清楚过 |
[12:04] | except casting Ralph Macchio. | 除了选演员时没选拉尔夫·马奇奥 |
[12:06] | Kid was a born star. | 那孩子天生就是个明星 |
[12:09] | Well, I think the party is over. | 派对结束了 |
[12:11] | Can somebody please drive me to, uh, | 有人能开车送我回 |
[12:14] | 104 North Beverly Drive? | 比弗利山庄北路104号吗 |
[12:19] | I gotcha. | 我送你吧 |
[12:20] | Listen, maybe on the way home, | 或许在回家的路上 |
[12:22] | we can pick up some Scotch. | 我们可以顺便买威士忌酒 |
[12:25] | Wait, wait, not so fast! | 等等 别走这么快 |
[12:27] | I got a catheter. | 我身上绑着导尿管呢 |
[12:38] | I can’t believe Marty called off the wedding. | 真不敢相信马蒂取消了婚礼 |
[12:41] | I can’t believe I left a bachelor party | 我才不敢相信这场单身派对 |
[12:42] | 4:45 in the afternoon. | 居然在下午4点45分就结束了 |
[12:45] | My mom is gonna be very upset with us. | 我妈肯定会恨死我们的 |
[12:48] | “Us”? | “我们” |
[12:48] | You threw the bachelor party. | 单身派对是你的主意 |
[12:50] | You hired strippers! | 请脱衣舞娘是你的主意 |
[12:52] | That’s why I said “us.” | 所以我才说怪”我们”嘛 |
[12:54] | You know what, it ultimately doesn’t matter | 算了 无所谓谁对谁错 |
[12:56] | because in your mother’s eyes. It’s all your fault. | 因为在你妈眼里 这肯定是你的错 |
[12:58] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
[12:59] | She has never forgiven me for her prolapsed vagina. | 她因为阴道脱垂就从未原谅过我 |
[13:02] | And I’m never gonna forgive you | 现在我也永远无法原谅你 |
[13:03] | for putting that picture in my head. | 把那画面硬塞进我脑海里 |
[13:05] | It’s not my fault my ears got caught. | 又不是我的错 是我耳朵卡到了 |
[13:09] | She’s gonna be crushed, and it’s all because of us. | 她会崩溃的 这都是我们害的 |
[13:11] | Will you stop saying that! | 你能不能别这么说了 |
[13:12] | It’s because of you! | 这都是你害的 |
[13:13] | First you destroyed her vagina, | 你首先害她阴道脱垂 |
[13:16] | – and now it’s her dreams. – Really? | -现在又毁掉了她的美梦 -是吗 |
[13:19] | I thought, as partners, we shared the burdens of life | 我还以为无论祸福与共 我们在一起 |
[13:21] | for better or for worse. | 就应该共同分担生活的担子 |
[13:22] | Or were they just empty vows? | 或那誓言只是空头支票 |
[13:24] | We’re not married! | 我们没有结婚 |
[13:27] | Oh, you don’t have to remind me of that. | 这点无需你提醒我 |
[13:29] | We’re not gay! | 我们不是同性恋 |
[13:32] | I can see why we have to tell other people that, | 我可以理解为什么我们得跟别人解释 |
[13:34] | but we shouldn’t have to tell each other! | 但我不理解为什么还要跟彼此解释这点 |
[13:39] | Oh, hey, Alan, look who’s here. | 艾伦 瞧瞧谁回来了 |
[13:41] | Hello, boys. | 你们好啊 |
[13:42] | Hey, you want a drink? | 想来一杯吗 |
[13:45] | I know, stupid question. | 我知道 问得真傻 |
[13:47] | Hey, Mommy, did you have fun shopping? | 妈咪 购物开心吗 |
[13:49] | What’s wrong? | 出什么事了 |
[13:51] | What-what do you mean, “What’s wrong”? | 你干嘛突然这么问 |
[13:52] | You’re using that same whiny voice | 你以前在芭蕾课上 |
[13:54] | you used when you pooped your pants in ballet class. | 把屎拉在裤子里 也是这种语气 |
[13:56] | – Good Lord. – I was a kid! | -老天爷 -我当时只是个孩子 |
[13:58] | You were 14. | 你14岁了 |
[14:01] | You finally had a bulge in your tights, | 你的紧身裤里终于有了突起 |
[14:02] | and it was on the wrong side. | 可惜不在前面 |
[14:05] | Okay, you know, I thought this was gonna be difficult, | 我本以为这事会难以开口 |
[14:06] | but maybe not. | 但也许不是 |
[14:08] | Marty ran off with a couple of strippers. | 马蒂和两个脱衣舞女跑了 |
[14:10] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
[14:12] | Things got a little crazy at the bachelor party. | 单身派对有些失控 |
[14:15] | What happened? | 出什么事了 |
[14:16] | Did he eat sugar? | 他是不是吃”糖” 兴奋过头吗 |
[14:18] | He may have. | 也许有吧 |
[14:23] | All right. | 好吧 |
[14:24] | Well, I guess he’s having one last little fling | 我想他只是在婚礼前 |
[14:26] | before the wedding. | 最后放纵一次 |
[14:27] | Um, y-yeah, about the wedding. | 对 关于婚礼 |
[14:30] | There’s that same tutu-crapping voice again. | 又是这种芭蕾裤里拉了屎的声调 |
[14:35] | He called it off. | 他取消了 |
[14:36] | What? | 什么 |
[14:39] | Sorry, Evelyn. | 很遗憾 伊芙琳 |
[14:40] | But… | 但是 |
[14:41] | the strippers have his medication, | 脱衣舞女有他的药 |
[14:43] | and I think one of them has a nurse’s outfit. | 我想其中一个穿了护士服 |
[14:47] | You know, I-I think if you went over there and talked to him, | 我想如果你过去找他谈 |
[14:49] | you might be able to change his mind. | 也许能让他改变主意 |
[14:51] | He may have even forgotten he called off the wedding. | 他甚至也许忘记取消婚礼这事了 |
[14:54] | No, if he doesn’t want to get married, that’s fine. | 不 如果他不想结婚 没关系 |
[14:58] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
[14:59] | I mean, is there anything we can do? | 我们能做些什么吗 |
[15:00] | I’m all right. | 我没事 |
[15:02] | You can’t force someone to love you. | 你不能逼别人爱你 |
[15:07] | Excuse me. | 失陪了 |
[15:11] | What did I miss? | 我错过了什么 |
[15:13] | Well, the wedding’s off, | 婚礼取消了 |
[15:14] | and Alan crapped his pants in ballet class. | 艾伦在上芭蕾课时把屎拉裤子里了 |
[15:22] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[15:23] | If I inherit this place, | 如果我继承了这个地方 |
[15:24] | there’s a guest room with your name on it. | 一定会给你留一间客房 |
[15:28] | Man, he bought this with sitcom money. | 他用赚情景喜剧的钱买了这里 |
[15:32] | I am in the wrong business. | 我入错行了 |
[15:37] | May I help you? | 有什么事 |
[15:38] | Uh, we’re here to see Marty. | 我们是来见马蒂的 |
[15:40] | I’m sorry, Mr. Pepper is busy. | 不好意思 佩珀先生很忙 |
[15:42] | Really? Uh, he doesn’t have time | 是吗 他没有时间 |
[15:44] | to visit with Ralph Macchio? | 见雷夫·马奇奥吗 |
[15:47] | A thousand apologies, Mr. Macchio. | 非常抱歉了 马奇奥先生 |
[15:49] | Right this way. | 这边请 |
[15:51] | After you, Daniel-san. | 您先请 丹尼尔先生 |
[16:00] | We’re going to take a bath. | 我们要去洗澡了 |
[16:01] | You can start washing each other. | 你们先互相洗 |
[16:05] | But save the dirty parts for me. | 但要把”脏”的地方留给我洗 |
[16:10] | Who’s there? | 谁啊 |
[16:11] | Uh, it’s Alan and Walden. | 艾伦和沃顿 |
[16:13] | Who? | 谁 |
[16:17] | Evelyn’s gay son and his boyfriend. | 伊芙琳的同志儿子和他男友 |
[16:20] | All right, come on in. | 好吧 进来 |
[16:24] | If you’re here to change my mind, | 如果你们是来劝我改主意的 |
[16:27] | forget it. | 想都别想 |
[16:28] | But I-I thought you loved my mother. | 但你不是爱我母亲吗 |
[16:30] | I do, | 我是爱 |
[16:31] | but I’m not ready to settle down. | 但我还没准备好安定下来 |
[16:35] | Maybe when I get a little older. | 也许等我再老一点再说吧 |
[16:38] | Marty, I don’t say this unkindly, | 马蒂 我说这话不是刻薄 |
[16:41] | but if you get any older, you’ll be soil. | 如果你再老一些 就土归土了 |
[16:47] | Besides, you know my mother. | 而且 你了解我母亲 |
[16:48] | She’d sleep with you and the strippers. | 她会和你还有脱衣舞女一起上床 |
[16:50] | – Oh, yeah, she’s a big whore. – Yeah. | -对 她可放荡了 -没错 |
[16:53] | I’m not saying she doesn’t have her charms. | 我没说她不够魅力 |
[16:57] | So, what’s the problem? | 那到底是什么问题 |
[16:58] | The truth is, | 事实是 |
[17:00] | I’m a six-time loser at marriage, | 我经历了六次失败的婚姻 |
[17:02] | and I don’t want to go for a seventh. | 我不想再经历第七次了 |
[17:06] | I get it. | 我明白了 |
[17:07] | You’re-you’re scared. | 你害怕了 |
[17:10] | But, you know, in-in love, | 但对于爱情 |
[17:12] | you have to take a leap and hope for the best. | 你得大胆尝试 尽量往好处想 |
[17:15] | That should be written on a pillow– | 这话应该绣在枕头上 |
[17:17] | the pillow you can bite when you and your buddy are… | 你和你兄弟那啥的时候 你可以咬的枕头 |
[17:20] | All right, all right. | 好了好了 |
[17:25] | No, all-all I’m saying is is that marriage | 我要说的是 婚姻 |
[17:29] | can be a beautiful thing. | 可以是一件美好的事 |
[17:31] | So, why aren’t you two married? | 那你们两个为什么没结婚 |
[17:35] | Yeah. | 对 |
[17:36] | Why aren’t we married, Walden? | 我们为什么没结婚 沃顿 |
[17:39] | This isn’t what you think it is. | 这不是你想的那样 |
[17:41] | Right. | 对 |
[17:43] | I don’t understand you, but you understand me. | 我不了解你 但你了解我 |
[17:48] | You’re right. | 你是对的 |
[17:49] | He’s right. | 他是对的 |
[17:50] | I-I don’t want to end up alone | 我不想最后变成像马蒂这样 |
[17:54] | and a-afraid of commitment like Marty. | 孤单一人 害怕承诺 |
[18:00] | Alan… | 艾伦 |
[18:02] | …for the last three years of my life, | 我人生的过去三年 |
[18:05] | you have… | 你 |
[18:07] | always been there. | 一直在我身边 |
[18:09] | Every day. | 每一天 |
[18:10] | When I wake up in the morning, when I go to bed at night, | 当我早上醒来时 当我夜晚入睡时 |
[18:13] | there you are. | 总能看见你 |
[18:17] | So, nobody is more surprised | 所以没人会比我更意外 |
[18:19] | to hear this coming out of my mouth than me. | 听到这句话从我嘴里说出来 |
[18:23] | This is not happening. | 这不是真的吧 |
[18:26] | Alan Harper… | 艾伦·哈勃 |
[18:28] | will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
[18:30] | Yes! Yes! | 愿意 愿意 |
[18:32] | A billion times, yes! | 无数个愿意 愿意 |
[18:33] | Okay, okay. | 好啦好啦 |
[18:34] | All right, okay. | 好啦 |
[18:35] | Let’s save something for the honeymoon. | 留点热情给蜜月吧 |
[18:37] | Ibiza, it has to be Ibiza. | 伊比沙岛 一定得是伊比沙岛 |
[18:39] | You’re right. | 你是对的 |
[18:41] | Excluding my heart, kidney and liver, | 不包括我的心肾肝 |
[18:44] | I’m not a young man anymore. | 我不再是一个年轻人了 |
[18:49] | I’m gonna call your mother. | 我要打电话给你妈妈 |
[18:51] | Marty, | 马蒂 |
[18:52] | come find the ducky. | 过来找小鸭子啦 |
[18:55] | We-we should probably go break the news to them. | 也许我们应该把这消息告诉她们 |
[18:57] | Yeah, yeah, that’d probably be the proper thing to do. | 对 也许应该这样做 |
[19:02] | Just so you know, | 告诉你一声 |
[19:03] | this is not happening when we’re married. | 咱们结婚后 可不能发生这种事 |
[19:17] | Marty, | 马蒂 |
[19:18] | I love you more than words could ever say. | 我对你的爱 用言语无法表达 |
[19:21] | From the moment I took off my blindfold, turned around | 从我取下眼罩的那一刻 转身 |
[19:25] | and saw you behind me for the first time, | 第一次看到你在我身后 |
[19:28] | I knew I’d never need a safe word again. | 我知道我再也不需要性爱下限暗号了 |
[19:33] | I wish I had one of those right now. | 我希望我现在有这个 |
[19:35] | Which? The blindfold or the safe word? | 哪一个 眼罩还是下限暗号 |
[19:38] | Yes. | 是的 |
[19:40] | Evelyn, I’m so happy you’re in my life. | 伊芙琳 我真开心人生中有你 |
[19:43] | When I’m with you, I feel like I’m 85 again. | 我和你在一起时 感觉又回到了85岁 |
[19:46] | You’re the perfect girl for me. | 你是最适合我的女人 |
[19:48] | You make my heart skip a beat, | 你让我的心停止跳动 |
[19:50] | and you know how to use a defribrillator. | 却又知道如何使用起”勃”器 |
[19:55] | I wrote that joke. | 这笑话是我写的 |
[19:58] | Last night, I only got up one time to pee. | 昨晚 我只起来一次去小便 |
[20:02] | I peed a second time, but I-I didn’t get up. | 第二次小便时 我没有起来 |
[20:08] | Ashes to ashes, | 尘归尘 |
[20:10] | and dust to dust… | 土归土[葬礼词] |
[20:12] | Oh, I’m sorry. I skipped a page there. | 对不起 我看漏了一页 |
[20:16] | You may now kiss the bride. | 你现在可以亲吻新娘了 |
[20:24] | Congratulations, Evelyn, on a beautiful ceremony. | 恭喜 伊芙琳 好美的仪式 |
[20:28] | Yeah. Can’t wait for the next one. | 对 等不及看下一次的了 |
[20:32] | I just have to tell you, | 我必须得告诉你 |
[20:33] | – I am a huge fan. – Thank you very much. | -我是你的忠实粉丝 -非常感谢 |
[20:35] | I lost my virginity to one of your records. | 我是听着你的歌失身的 |
[20:38] | A-side and B-side, if you know what I mean. | AB前后两面 你懂我意思吧 |
[20:42] | Oh, I just became a big fan of yours, baby. | 我刚成了你的忠实粉丝 宝贝 |
[20:47] | And I just want to say one thing. | 我只想说一件事 |
[20:50] | None of this would’ve happened without these two. | 没有他们两个 就没有这场婚礼 |
[20:53] | And as my present to you, | 作为我送你们的礼物 |
[20:56] | I’ve arranged for Tim | 我安排让蒂姆 |
[20:58] | to perform one more wedding ceremony. | 多主持一场婚礼仪式 |
[21:07] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 我的天 我的天 |
[21:10] | – Oh, my God. – Oh, my God. | -我的天 -我的天 |