| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Previously on Two and a Half Men… | 《好汉两个半》前情回顾 |
| [00:04] | I am gonna ask Lyndsey to marry me. | 我要向林赛求婚 |
| [00:06] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
| [00:08] | Yes, I will marry you! | 愿意 我愿意嫁给你 |
| [00:09] | I was wondering if you’d do me the honor | 我在想你是否愿意赏脸 |
| [00:11] | of being my best man. | 来当我的伴郎 |
| [00:12] | – What?! – What?! | -什么 -什么 |
| [00:13] | Larry, where can I put this poop? | 拉里 这个便便我放哪 |
| [00:15] | This is my sister Gretchen. She just moved here. | 这是我妹妹格雷琴 她刚搬过来 |
| [00:17] | Gretchen, this is Jeff Strongman. | 格雷琴 这是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [00:18] | I think the computer just read his thoughts. | 我想电脑刚刚读出了他的想法 |
| [00:22] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [00:23] | The guy I had dinner with last night offered me | 昨晚跟我吃饭的男人给我 |
| [00:26] | a job in San Francisco. | 在旧金山提供了一个职位 |
| [00:28] | Where does that leave us? | 那我们以后呢 |
| [00:29] | I have to take this. | 我一定要去 |
| [00:30] | I’m sorry, buddy. | 抱歉 哥们 |
| [00:31] | I’m here for you. | 我支持你 |
| [00:33] | If you wanted to go with her… | 如果你想跟她一起走 |
| [00:34] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [00:37] | I thought about what you said | 我一直在想你说的话 |
| [00:38] | I don’t want to work for Google. | 我不想为谷歌工作 |
| [00:40] | I want to stay and work with you. | 我要留下来和你一起工作 |
| [00:41] | We’re gonna do great things together. | 我们会一起创造传奇 |
| [00:43] | All right. | 好了 |
| [00:47] | So where do I sleep? | 那我睡哪里 |
| [00:57] | hello? | 你是… |
| [00:58] | Oh, hey. | 早 |
| [00:59] | Jake? | 杰克吗 |
| [01:02] | Barry. | 我是巴里 |
| [01:03] | Did you break into this house and kill Walden? | 你闯进房子里把沃顿杀了吗 |
| [01:09] | ‘Cause if you did, just know… | 因为如果你真做了 我想说 |
| [01:11] | I’m one hell of a roommate. | 我是个超棒的室友哦 |
| [01:14] | No, I’m a friend of Walden’s. | 不是 我是沃顿的朋友 |
| [01:15] | I’m gonna be crashing here for a few days. | 我会来这里暂住几天 |
| [01:18] | Actually, Walden would probably say I’m his best friend. | 其实 沃顿应该会说我是他最好的朋友 |
| [01:21] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [01:23] | ‘Cause I have a picture of us at Splash Mountain | 我可是有一张我跟他在迪士尼的合照 |
| [01:25] | that refutes that statement. | 你那句话我不敢苟同啊 |
| [01:29] | What’s that you’re cooking? | 你在煮什么呢 |
| [01:30] | Cinnamon French toast; Walden’s favorite. | 肉桂法式吐司 沃顿的最爱 |
| [01:32] | Walden’s allergic to cinnamon. | 沃顿对肉桂过敏 |
| [01:34] | – No, Walden is allergic to nutmeg. – Touche. | -不 沃顿是对肉豆蔻过敏 -不错嘛 |
| [01:39] | What’s his birthday, favorite color and worst fear? | 他的生日 最爱的颜色 最怕的事是什么 |
| [01:41] | July 12, forest green, dying in your arms. | 7月12日 森林绿 死在你怀里 |
| [01:45] | Coffee? Cream, two Splendas? | 喝咖啡吗 有奶油 两包代糖 |
| [01:47] | Wait, y-you know what I like, too? | 等等 你也知道我喜欢什么吗 |
| [01:49] | I know a lot of things. | 我知道的可多了 |
| [01:50] | I know that you’re sleeping with Lyndsey, | 我知道你在跟林赛”睡” |
| [01:52] | who is engaged to Larry, | 而她跟拉里订婚了 |
| [01:54] | who thinks you’re Jeff Strongman, | 拉里以为你是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [01:55] | and you just went on a date with Gretchen, Larry’s sister. | 而你还跟拉里的妹妹格雷琴搞上了 |
| [01:57] | And your worst fear is not dying in this house. | 而你最怕的事就是没死在这房子里 |
| [02:00] | Witch. | 你个巫婆 |
| [02:03] | Get out of my head. | 快从我脑子里滚出去 |
| [02:05] | Something smells good. | 闻起来好香啊 |
| [02:06] | That is the cinnamon French tatas. | 是肉桂法式奶子… |
| [02:10] | Hey, you-you must be Jake. | 你一定就是杰克了吧 |
| [02:12] | Give your cousin Jenny a hug. | 让堂姐抱一下 |
| [02:14] | – That’s not Jake. – Shut up, Dad. | -他不是杰克 -老爸快闭嘴 |
| [02:18] | Morning! | 早安 |
| [02:19] | Hey, Berta. | 波塔早啊 |
| [02:20] | Welcome home, Jake. | 欢迎回来 杰克 |
| [02:24] | That’s not Jake. | 他不是杰克 |
| [02:25] | That’s Walden’s friend Barry. | 他是沃顿的朋友巴里 |
| [02:27] | Uh, Berta, | 波塔 |
| [02:27] | making a special batch of French toast for you | 正在给你做一份特别的法式吐司哦 |
| [02:29] | topped with a dollop of marijuana butter. | 上面加一大勺大麻奶油 |
| [02:31] | I like “not Jake.” | 我喜欢这位”不是杰克” |
| [02:34] | All right, who wants the first batch? | 好了 谁想要第一批 |
| [02:40] | Aw, hell, no. | 靠 不是吧 |
| [03:01] | Extra! Extra! | 号外号外 |
| [03:02] | Alan boards the Titanic! | 艾伦要登上泰坦尼克号啦 |
| [03:05] | Read all about it! | 详情请阅读本报 |
| [03:07] | You’re just jealous. | 你是在嫉妒我 |
| [03:08] | Jealous of what? Your up-and-coming role | 嫉妒你什么 你在新版音乐剧 |
| [03:11] | in the Newsies remake? | 报童传奇里得到出演机会吗 |
| [03:13] | I will have you know that the salesgirl at Goodwill said | 慈善二手店的柜台姑娘说我 |
| [03:16] | that I look dashing. | 看起来很犀利 |
| [03:18] | Why are you wearing this outfit? | 你为啥穿成这样 |
| [03:20] | I’m going out with Gretchen again tonight. | 我今晚要跟格雷琴去约会 |
| [03:21] | As her date or her caddie? | 她的约会对象还是杆弟啊 |
| [03:25] | Oh, that reminds me– I gotta get a cover for my wood. | 这倒提醒了我给我的木杆[鸡鸡]买套子 |
| [03:31] | Why are you going out with her again? | 你为什么又要跟她约会 |
| [03:32] | What do you mean? I like her, she likes me– | 你什么意思 我喜欢她 她也喜欢我 |
| [03:35] | honestly, I can see myself spending the rest | 说实话 我能想象杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [03:37] | of Jeff Strongman’s life with her. | 与她共度余生的画面 |
| [03:39] | Okay, unlike Jeff Strongman, | 但与杰夫·斯壮曼不同的是 |
| [03:42] | she is a real person. | 她是真实存在的人 |
| [03:44] | With real feelings. | 她是有真实感情的 |
| [03:46] | And real… | 还有真实的一对… |
| [03:49] | I know, I know. I… I don’t want to hurt her. | 我知道 我明白 我也不想伤害她 |
| [03:51] | If that’s the case, then you need to walk away. | 如果你有这么想 那就离开她吧 |
| [03:54] | I-I will, I will. You’re right. | 会的 你说的很对 |
| [03:55] | Right after I have sex with her. | 我跟她做完爱就离开她 |
| [03:58] | No! | 不行 |
| [03:59] | Well, I’m not gonna walk away while I’m having sex with her. | 那我不可能在跟她做到一半的时候离开啊 |
| [04:02] | That would be rude. | 太没礼貌了 |
| [04:03] | Hey, Jeff Strongman looks good in that hat. | 杰夫·斯壮曼戴这帽子很帅啊 |
| [04:05] | Top of the day to you, too, sir. | 感谢夸奖 您也很帅 |
| [04:08] | Wait, you can tell when he’s not Alan? | 等等 你看得出他现在是哪个人格吗 |
| [04:10] | Oh, yeah. I mean, Jeff exudes a quiet confidence, | 当然啊 杰夫浑身散发自信 |
| [04:13] | whereas Alan just… | 而艾伦就只有… |
| [04:14] | exudes. | 散发… |
| [04:17] | – Is there a shower I can use? – Uh, oh, yeah. | -有我可以用的浴室吗 -有 |
| [04:20] | Uh, Alan’s room’s down the hall on the left. | 走廊到底左边就是艾伦的房间 |
| [04:22] | Whoa, whoa. What about Jenny’s? | 不能用珍妮房间的吗 |
| [04:24] | She’s in there with Brooke. | 人家跟布鲁克在房里呢 |
| [04:25] | Yeah, I don’t think I can go in there again “by accident.” | 我不能再不小心”走错”进去了 |
| [04:30] | But-but, uh, wh-what about your bathroom? | 但 但是你的浴室呢 |
| [04:32] | They’re all my bathrooms! | 这房子里的浴室全是我的 |
| [04:36] | – Alan’s shower. – Great. | -去艾伦的浴室 -谢了 |
| [04:39] | So, is this a “pee in the shower” | 所以你那边规矩是可以尿在淋浴间里 |
| [04:41] | or “not pee in the shower” household? | 还是不可以尿在淋浴间里 |
| [04:43] | “Not pee in the shower.” | 不可以尿在淋浴间里 |
| [04:45] | So it’s a “pee in the shower and lie about it” household. | 所以是尿在里面却不承认的规矩 |
| [04:49] | And don’t touch my shower porn! | 不许碰我的浴室黄书 |
| [04:53] | That stuff took a long time to laminate. | 我可是费了好大的功夫才统统贴好膜 |
| [04:56] | Everything… you… say… is… weird. | 你嘴里吐出来的话都很恶心 |
| [04:59] | Look, look, I know you’re upset about Barry moving in with us, | 我知道你因为巴里也搬进来住很不开心 |
| [05:02] | but hitting me with a 25-cent hat | 但用一顶两毛五的帽子打我 |
| [05:04] | is not gonna solve anything. | 解决不了任何问题 |
| [05:06] | He’s not moving in. | 他不是要搬进来 |
| [05:07] | He’s just staying here for a couple days | 他只是在这暂住几天 |
| [05:09] | while we brainstorm some new tech ideas. | 方便我们集思广益 想一些科技新点子 |
| [05:11] | Oh, Walden, you’re such a pushover. | 沃顿 你真是太容易相信别人了 |
| [05:14] | Somebody else said they were only gonna stay in the house | 曾经也有人说自己只在这 |
| [05:16] | for a few days. Remember that? | 暂住几天 还记得吗 |
| [05:17] | Oh, believe me, I remember. | 相信我 我记得清清楚楚 |
| [05:20] | And now, here we are, four months later, | 而现在 都四个月过去了 |
| [05:22] | and Jenny’s still living with us. | 珍妮还跟我们住在一起 |
| [05:26] | Why… can’t… you… hear… yourself? | 你怎么就不说说你自己呢 |
| [05:31] | * Summer lovin’ * | * 夏日恋曲 * |
| [05:32] | * had me a blast * | * 犹如一阵狂风 * |
| [05:35] | * Summer lovin’* | * 夏日恋曲 * |
| [05:36] | * Happened so fa-ast * | * 让我措手不及 * |
| [05:39] | * I met a girl crazy for me * | * 我遇到一个为我疯狂的女孩 * |
| [05:43] | * Met a boy cute as can be * | * 我遇到一个帅气无比的男孩 * |
| [05:47] | Maybe we should start again. | 或许我们应该重唱一遍 |
| [05:49] | Why, was I pitchy? | 为什么 我跑调了吗 |
| [05:51] | You are so adorable. | 你真是可爱 |
| [05:52] | Oh, and you have broccoli in your teeth. | 你的牙齿上有西兰花 |
| [05:54] | Oh… You want to get it for me? | 你想帮我弄出来吗 |
| [05:56] | Ooh, a kiss and a free meal. | 一个吻和一顿免费的夜宵 |
| [06:01] | Yum. | 真好吃 |
| [06:02] | I’ve never had broccoli and tongue before. | 我从来没有试过西兰花和舌头一起吃 |
| [06:05] | I gotta say, I love that hat on you. | 不得不说 我真喜欢你头上那顶帽子 |
| [06:06] | You know, it’s funny, I gave one just like that to Goodwill. | 有趣的是 我捐了一顶一样的给慈善二手店 |
| [06:09] | Yeah, yeah, this is the same one. | 没错 这就是你那顶 |
| [06:12] | Well, uh, thanks again for dinner tonight. | 多谢今晚请我吃晚餐 |
| [06:15] | Oh, yeah. | 是哦 |
| [06:16] | Next one’s on you, though. | 下一顿轮到你请 |
| [06:17] | Absolutely. Um, speaking of which, | 当然 说到这个 |
| [06:19] | I’m not sure we should keep seeing each other. | 我觉得我们不应该继续来往了 |
| [06:22] | What? We don’t have to go somewhere expensive. | 为什么 我们不一定要去高级餐厅啊 |
| [06:24] | Oh, God, you’re making this so hard. | 天啊 请你不要让我这么难做[硬] |
| [06:27] | That’s what he said! | 别的男人也这么说过 |
| [06:29] | Oh, peas, pod. | 那说明我们一样 |
| [06:32] | No, it’s… it’s just, you know, | 不是这样的 只是 |
| [06:34] | I’m Larry’s best man and you’re his sister. | 我是拉里的伴郎 而你是他的妹妹 |
| [06:36] | I mean, what if things go wrong and we screw up the wedding? | 万一我们进展不顺利 我怕会把婚礼搞砸了 |
| [06:40] | Look, I like you | 听着 我喜欢你 |
| [06:42] | and I think you like me, | 我觉得你也喜欢我 |
| [06:44] | and if it’ll make you more comfortable, | 如果这么做能让你觉得好点 |
| [06:45] | we can keep it a secret for now. | 我们可以从现在开始转为地下情 |
| [06:47] | I mean, if you’re good at keeping secrets. | 如果你擅长保守秘密的话 |
| [06:50] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [06:51] | “Strongman” in German means “Honest man.” | “斯壮曼”在德语里是”诚实的人”的意思 |
| [06:54] | Is that true? | 真的吗 |
| [06:55] | Jawohl. | 是的[德语] |
| [06:57] | But I suppose we could keep it… | 但我觉得我们可以转为 |
| [06:59] | under ze radar. | 地下情[德语腔] |
| [07:03] | So you know, uh… | 对了 |
| [07:04] | Larry and Lyndsey are in Palm Springs for the weekend. | 拉里和琳赛去棕榈泉过周末了 |
| [07:06] | – They are? – Yeah. | -是吗 -嗯 |
| [07:08] | You want to… come inside? | 你想”进来”吗 |
| [07:11] | That’s what she said! | 那妞也这么说过 |
| [07:17] | This is awesome. | 这太棒了 |
| [07:20] | These are the best graphics I’ve ever seen. | 这些是我见过最棒画质的游戏 |
| [07:23] | The cops shot my tires out. Now I’m runnin’. | 警察打爆我的轮胎了 我得跑了 |
| [07:27] | Oh… Wait, this isn’t a video game. | 慢着 这不是电子游戏 |
| [07:30] | We’re watching a car chase on the news. | 我们看的是汽车追逐新闻 |
| [07:35] | So I probably didn’t score that three-pointer | 所以可能我玩篮球游戏的时候 |
| [07:37] | to win the Laker game, either. | 也没有投入那个三分球 |
| [07:39] | Are you sure you’re not Jake? | 你确定你不是杰克吗 |
| [07:43] | I’m not sure. | 我不确定 |
| [07:45] | Hey, are you guys really lesbians? | 你们俩真的是拉拉吗 |
| [07:46] | Or are you like those “Lesbian” From Craigslist | 或者你们是广告网上的那种”拉拉” |
| [07:48] | that came over and tied me up and stole my laptop? | 会来我家把我绑起来 再偷走我的笔记本电脑 |
| [07:55] | If we weren’t, would we do this? | 如果不是 我们会这么做吗 |
| [07:58] | Okay, brain, you are high, | 好吧 大脑 我知道你很兴奋 |
| [08:00] | but I need you to remember this. | 但我要你记住这一幕 |
| [08:01] | Forget calculus if you have to. | 必要的话 可以把微积分的空间腾出来 |
| [08:04] | Nobody heard the pizza guy at the door? | 没有人听见送披萨的按门铃吗 |
| [08:06] | I told you we wouldn’t have to get up. | 都说不必我们起身去取吧 |
| [08:09] | Told you we wouldn’t have to pay for it. | 都说不必我们付披萨钱吧 |
| [08:12] | Is this all you guys have been doing the whole day? | 你们这帮家伙整天就在干这个吗 |
| [08:14] | No, we spent an hour | 不 我们花了一个小时 |
| [08:16] | trying to find where you hid your bong. | 去找你藏的大麻烟筒 |
| [08:18] | Which knocked me into overtime, FYI. | 对了 所以你要给我加班费 |
| [08:23] | Walden, I am loving it here. | 沃顿 我喜欢这里 |
| [08:25] | I mean, pizza, lesbians, | 这里有披萨 拉拉 |
| [08:27] | weed scavenger hunts… | 寻大麻游戏 |
| [08:29] | Nobody paying rent… | 还没人付房租 |
| [08:30] | It just keeps getting better. | 优点越来越多了 |
| [08:34] | Hey, Barry, can I talk to you for a second? | 巴里 我能跟你说几句话吗 |
| [08:35] | Ooh, you’re in trouble! | 你有麻烦了 |
| [08:44] | Is this why you’re here? | 你来这里目的就是这个吗 |
| [08:45] | Just to hang out and get high and eat pizza? | 就是为了玩 抽大麻和吃披萨吗 |
| [08:50] | I feel like this is a trick question. | 我觉得这是个陷阱题 |
| [08:52] | ‘Cause I thought you were here | 我本以为你来我家 |
| [08:53] | to work on a new project with me. | 是为了要跟我研发新项目的 |
| [08:55] | No, no, no, I am! | 是啊 我是 |
| [08:56] | I am. Okay, okay, check out this idea: | 真的 好吧 听听这个想法 |
| [08:59] | So I was watching Brooke and Jenny make out earlier, | 我刚才看布鲁克和珍妮亲热 |
| [09:01] | and I thought to myself, | 然后我就想到 |
| [09:03] | what if we filmed lesbians | 我们可以把拉拉 |
| [09:06] | doing stuff to each other… | 做爱的过程拍下来 |
| [09:09] | and then we put that on the Internet? | 然后把视频放到网上卖 |
| [09:13] | How has no one thought of that? | 怎么以前会”没有人”想到这点呢 |
| [09:16] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [09:17] | You know what? | 你知道个屁 |
| [09:18] | It’s too late for them. | 她们已经无药可救了 |
| [09:20] | They’re a lost cause. | 烂泥扶不上墙 |
| [09:22] | We can hear you. | 我们听得一清二楚 |
| [09:23] | I will give any of you… $100. | 我会给你们任何一人100块 |
| [09:27] | All you have to do is | 前提是你们 |
| [09:28] | come up here and take it from me. | 起身来我这里拿 |
| [09:30] | – Later. – Nah, I’m fine. | -晚点吧 -这钱我不要了 |
| [09:33] | Do you see that? | 看见了吗 |
| [09:34] | Don’t be them! | 不要像她们这样 |
| [09:36] | I only let you stay here | 我让你待在这几天 |
| [09:37] | for a few days to help you transition. | 只是作为过渡而已 |
| [09:40] | Okay, okay. I got another idea. | 好吧 我又有个想法 |
| [09:42] | Uh… bacon-flavored eggs. | 培根口味的鸡蛋 |
| [09:44] | All me and you got to figure out | 我们只需想办法 |
| [09:46] | is how to make the chicken and the pig have sex. | 让鸡和猪交配 |
| [09:51] | Well, maybe you could show ’em the lesbian porn. | 或许你应该让它们看拉拉黄片 |
| [10:04] | Wait, wait, wait. | 等下 等下 |
| [10:05] | I have an idea. | 我有个想法 |
| [10:06] | What if you got the chickens drunk? | 如果把那些鸡灌醉呢 |
| [10:09] | Would that work? | 能行得通吗 |
| [10:10] | I’ve gotten laid a lot by getting chicks drunk. | 我经常把妞[鸡]灌醉后就上了她们 |
| [10:14] | Hey, Berta, what about you? | 波塔 那你呢 |
| [10:15] | You ever been with a woman? | 你有跟女人在一起过吗 |
| [10:17] | Have you? | 你有吗 |
| [10:22] | There you are. | 你在这啊 |
| [10:24] | Get down off that couch, you naughty boy. | 快从沙发上下来 淘气鬼 |
| [10:32] | Ooh, a quarter. | 25美分 |
| [10:34] | Hey, this hat just paid for itself. | 正好抵了这帽子的钱 |
| [10:37] | Give me that. | 给我 |
| [10:39] | Drop it. | 放下 |
| [11:00] | So, how was Palm Springs? | 棕榈泉怎么样 |
| [11:03] | What the hell’s going on here? | 这什么情况 |
| [11:04] | It-it isn’t what it looks like. | 事实不是你们看上去这样的 |
| [11:06] | It looks like you’re having kinky sex with my sister. | 看上去你在跟我妹玩变态性游戏 |
| [11:08] | Then it is what it looks like. | 那的确是看上去这样 |
| [11:11] | I can’t believe this. | 不敢相信 |
| [11:12] | Me, neither. | 我也是 |
| [11:13] | This is the best day of my life! | 这简直是我这辈子最棒的一天 |
| [11:17] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:18] | What guy doesn’t want to see his best friend bang his sister? | 哪个男人不想看见老友搞上自己的妹妹啊 |
| [11:23] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:24] | My two favorite people in the world got together. | 这世上我最爱的两个人在一起了 |
| [11:27] | Those are your two favorite people? | 他俩是你最爱的两个人吗 |
| [11:29] | Don’t worry. You’re number three. | 别担心 你排第三 |
| [11:33] | If you were banging my sister, you’d be number one. | 如果你搞上了我妹 那你就是第一了 |
| [11:36] | Well, I’m-I’m glad you’re so excited about this. | 很高兴你对这件事这么激动 |
| [11:39] | I was worried you were gonna punch me in the face. | 我还担心你会一拳挥上来呢 |
| [11:41] | Ah, if anything, I’d maybe | 就算要揍你 |
| [11:42] | swat you on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. | 那也是用卷起来的报纸打你的鼻子 |
| [11:46] | Or cut off your balls. | 或者割了你的蛋蛋 |
| [11:49] | Well, I’m gonna go get dressed. | 我要去穿衣服了 |
| [11:50] | I have to take Jeff for a walk. | 得带杰夫出去遛遛呢 |
| [11:55] | Hey, you know that special bottle of champagne | 咱们特意留到婚礼喝的 |
| [11:57] | we were saving for our wedding? | 那瓶香槟酒 |
| [11:59] | Let’s pop it now! | 现在开了吧 |
| [12:01] | Why not? I just popped your sister five minutes ago. | 为什么不呢 我五分钟前还”开”了你妹呢 |
| [12:04] | Jeff, you are the king! | 杰夫 你最棒了 |
| [12:09] | Really? What are you doing with Larry’s sister? | 搞毛啊 你跟拉里的妹妹在干什么 |
| [12:12] | Just a little game. | 就是个小游戏 |
| [12:13] | You know, I-I pretend I’m a dog, and she rescues me, | 我装成狗狗 她救了我 |
| [12:15] | and then I give her my bone. | 然后我把我的”骨头”[鸡鸡]给她 |
| [12:19] | All right, Alan, you know what? Stop. | 好了 艾伦 你得停下 |
| [12:22] | Stop being friends with my fiance, | 别再跟我的未婚夫做朋友 |
| [12:24] | stop dating my fiance’s sister, and stop poking me on Facebook. | 别再跟他妹约会 也别在脸书上”戳”我 |
| [12:27] | It doesn’t mean what you think it does. | 那不是你想象中那个意思[只是打招呼] |
| [12:29] | You know what? You can’t tell me what to do. | 我告诉你 你不能对我指手划脚 |
| [12:31] | I am my own man. | 我有自己的想法 |
| [12:32] | I will do what I want with whomever I want whenever I want. | 我想跟谁搞就跟谁搞 想啥时搞就啥时搞 |
| [12:35] | Now, excuse me. | 失陪了 |
| [12:41] | You’re standing on my leash. | 你踩着我的狗绳了 |
| [12:48] | * All the single Barrys, all the single Barrys * | * 所有单身巴里 所有单身巴里 * |
| [12:51] | * Make a turkey sandwich, make a turkey sandwich * | * 做个火鸡三明治 做个火鸡三明治 * |
| [12:53] | * If you like it then you should have put some cheese on it * | * 如果你喜欢它 就为它加上芝士 * |
| [12:55] | * If you like it then you should have put some cheese on it * | * 如果你喜欢它 就为它加上芝士 * |
| [12:57] | * May-a-o, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh… * | * 蛋黄酱… * |
| [13:04] | Bare, can I talk to you? | 巴里 能跟你谈谈吗 |
| [13:06] | Sure. What’s up? | 好的 怎么了 |
| [13:07] | Let me ask you something. | 问你点事 |
| [13:09] | Suppose you had someone living with you, | 假设有个人住在你家 |
| [13:11] | and you wanted them to leave. | 你想让他搬走 |
| [13:14] | How would you go about making that clear? | 你会怎么让他明白呢 |
| [13:17] | Well, I don’t like confrontation, | 我不喜欢当面挑明 |
| [13:19] | so I’d probably do something passive-aggressive | 所以我也许会表现得委婉一点 |
| [13:21] | like sit them down | 比如请他们坐下 |
| [13:21] | and ask them how they would approach… | 问他们会怎么让… |
| [13:23] | Oh, you’re asking me to move out. | 你要我搬走 |
| [13:25] | No, no, no, no, I’m not asking you to move out. | 不不不 我不是要你搬走 |
| [13:28] | I’m-I’m asking you to move in… | 我想让你搬进 |
| [13:32] | to the… outside. | 外面的世界 |
| [13:37] | Boy, man, I’m so sorry. | 老兄 很抱歉 |
| [13:38] | I just have been having a lot of fun here, you know. | 只是我在这里真的太开心了 |
| [13:40] | Everybody’s so nice, and you’ve been so welcoming. | 大家都很友善 你又这么欢迎我 |
| [13:43] | Up until just now when you told me to get the hell out. | 直到刚才你叫我收拾东西滚蛋 |
| [13:46] | Don’t get me wrong. | 别误会 |
| [13:47] | It’s not that I don’t love having you here. | 我不是不喜欢你住在这儿 |
| [13:48] | It’s just that I don’t think that I can legally | 只是除了收养之外 |
| [13:51] | have anyone else live here unless I adopt them. | 再让人住进我家都会算违法 |
| [13:55] | I’m down for that. | 收养我吧 |
| [13:57] | Okay, well, let’s table that, | 这事先搁置一下 |
| [13:59] | but in-in the meantime, we’ll look for an apartment for you. | 但同时 我们要给你找间公寓 |
| [14:03] | Uh, well, I mean, today is kind of already shot. | 今天都快过完了 |
| [14:06] | Maybe pick it up tomorrow? | 不如明天开始吧 |
| [14:08] | Yeah. Okay, yeah. | 好吧 行 |
| [14:09] | I mean, it’s-it’s 10:30. | 现在是十点半 |
| [14:14] | In the morning. | 早上十点半 |
| [14:16] | Great. Uh, I’m gonna go get high | 太好了 我要去露台上 |
| [14:18] | and eat my sandwich out on the deck. | 抽大麻 吃三明治了 |
| [14:20] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [14:25] | He’s never moving out. | 他绝对不会搬出去了 |
| [14:29] | Wait. Are you just getting back from your date with Gretchen? | 慢着 你是刚跟格雷琴约完会回来吗 |
| [14:32] | No. No, no. I had to go back to the restaurant. | 不不 我跑回餐厅一趟 |
| [14:35] | I left my hat at the valet stand. | 把帽子落在泊车员那里的衣帽架了 |
| [14:37] | Liar! | 骗子 |
| [14:39] | You would never pay for parking. | 你怎么可能会付愿意停车费 |
| [14:42] | All right, admit it, you slept with Gretchen. | 你就承认吧 你跟格雷琴上床了 |
| [14:45] | You’re right, I slept with her. | 你说对了 我跟她上床了 |
| [14:47] | And I found a broken meter two blocks from the restaurant. | 而且我在餐厅两个街区外找到坏了的收费表 |
| [14:50] | I thought you were calling it off with her. | 你不是说要跟她分手吗 |
| [14:52] | Well, I started to, but you-you know how breakups go. | 本来是的 但你也知道分手这种事嘛 |
| [14:55] | I mean, you try to be considerate | 你想体贴一点 |
| [14:57] | and let her down easy, and next thing you know, | 给她留点面子 接着就发现 |
| [14:59] | you’re wearing a dog collar and a leash | 你戴着项圈 牵着狗绳 |
| [15:01] | while she lets you lick peanut butter | 而她用双峰夹着一个磨牙玩具 |
| [15:04] | out of a chew toy between her boobs. | 让你舔上面的花生酱 |
| [15:15] | Look at this place. | 瞧瞧这地方啊 |
| [15:17] | Hello, apartment, good-bye panties, huh? | 你好啊 公寓 再见了 小裤裤 |
| [15:20] | I don’t think this place is for me. | 我觉得这地方不适合我 |
| [15:22] | It just doesn’t scream “Barry.” | 它没有呼唤着我的名字 |
| [15:24] | It will when the panties come off. | 等姑娘小裤裤脱下来的时候就会了 |
| [15:27] | No. Plus, the feng shui is just off. | 而且这里的风水也不好 |
| [15:30] | All right. | 行了 |
| [15:30] | This is the sixth place you didn’t like. | 这已经是第六间你不喜欢的公寓了 |
| [15:32] | And the last one you said was in a bad school district. | 上一间你还说那里是在烂校的学区里 |
| [15:37] | What’s going on here? | 怎么回事 |
| [15:38] | Nothing. Nothing’s going on. I just… | 没什么 没事 只是… |
| [15:41] | I’ve never really lived alone before. | 我还从没一个人住过 |
| [15:43] | Never? | 从来没有吗 |
| [15:44] | Well, when my dad left, I lived with my mom, | 我爸离开以后 我就跟我妈住 |
| [15:46] | and then boarding school, | 接着去了寄宿学校 |
| [15:48] | and then, in college, I always had roommates, | 然后又是大学 我一直有室友 |
| [15:49] | and then after college, I lived with Nicole. | 大学毕业后 我就跟妮可一起住了 |
| [15:52] | I mean, I’m like a baby duck, Walden. | 我就像只小鸭子 沃顿 |
| [15:53] | When Mama Duck leaves, I cling to the next mama duck. | 母鸭离开以后 我就会跟着下一只母鸭 |
| [15:57] | Okay, but my flock is too big, | 好吧 但我的鸭群太大了 |
| [15:59] | so, you gotta get the flock out of my house. | 所以你”它鸭的”得搬出我家 |
| [16:03] | I don’t know if I can make it on my own. | 我不知道能不能独立生活 |
| [16:05] | Okay, listen, I know what’s going on. | 我明白你的情况 |
| [16:06] | I know how you feel. | 我懂你的感受 |
| [16:07] | I felt the same way when my wife walked out on me. | 我妻子离开我的时候 我也是这种感觉 |
| [16:10] | What did you do? | 你后来怎么好的 |
| [16:10] | I bought a house | 我买了一栋房子 |
| [16:13] | and let a 45-year-old man and his son live there. | 让一个45岁的大叔和他儿子住在那儿 |
| [16:16] | Wow. A real Scared Straight moment here. | 真是一堂生动的现身说法课 |
| [16:18] | Let’s grab up a pizza on the way back to the beach. | 咱们回海边别墅时 买个披萨回去 |
| [16:20] | Barry, listen to me. | 巴里 听我说 |
| [16:21] | I’m going to say something to you | 我要对你说一句 |
| [16:22] | that I have never said before in my life. | 我这辈子还没说过的话 |
| [16:25] | You can’t live with me. | 你不能和我一起住 |
| [16:26] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [16:32] | I did it. | 我做到了 |
| [16:33] | I’m sorry. You’re-You’re my first. | 对不起 你是我的第一个 |
| [16:35] | No, no, no, I don’t want to be your first. | 不 我不想做你的第一个 |
| [16:37] | Your first should be someone special, | 你的第一个应该是很特别的人 |
| [16:38] | like a whore that your stepdad buys you. | 比如说你继父为你出钱召的妓 |
| [16:42] | …is an example I just made up. | 这是我瞎掰的一个例子 |
| [16:44] | Listen, Barry, you’re… you are gonna be okay. | 听着 巴里 你不会有事的 |
| [16:47] | And you can come and visit anytime that you want. | 你想过来看望大家可以随时过来 |
| [16:50] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [16:51] | Yeah, just stop on by. | 对 过来呗 |
| [16:53] | But you can’t live with me! | 但你不能和我住在一起 |
| [16:55] | Now or ever. | 永远不行 |
| [16:56] | Okay, but I can’t just stay here. | 好吧 但我不能留在这里 |
| [16:58] | Yes, you can! | 你可以的 |
| [16:59] | I’m gonna take care of the paperwork, | 我去搞定手续 |
| [17:01] | and then I’ll send your stuff over. | 然后把你的东西送过来 |
| [17:03] | You just make yourself at home. | 你就舒心地住在这里吧 |
| [17:04] | But you can’t live with me! | 但你不能和我住在一起 |
| [17:07] | All right, message received. | 好吧 我明白了 |
| [17:08] | Okay, I’m sorry– I’m just… I’m really excited. | 抱歉 我只是太激动了 |
| [17:10] | This is a big moment for me. | 这对我来说是重大时刻 |
| [17:12] | I’m gonna go find Alan. | 我要去找艾伦 |
| [17:13] | You can’t live with me! | 你不能和我一起住 |
| [17:17] | You can’t live with me! | 你不能和我一起住 |
| [17:18] | Oh, I’m sorry, sir. | 对不起 先生 |
| [17:19] | But you can’t live with me! | 但你不能和我一起住 |
| [17:22] | I can’t tell you how happy I am you guys are dating. | 你们约会我真是太高兴了 |
| [17:26] | No offense, Sis, but some of the guys you’ve brought home– | 别介意 老妹 但有些你带回家的男人 |
| [17:28] | I mean, no job, no house, no car. | 没工作 没房子 没车 |
| [17:31] | Real losers. | 真正的窝囊废 |
| [17:34] | Wow, sounds like the deadbeats | 听起来像是我认识拉里前 |
| [17:36] | I used to date before I found Larry. | 约会的那些游手好闲的家伙 |
| [17:38] | Well, I’ve, uh, I’ve had some real winners in my past, too. | 我过去约会的妞也不是什么好货 |
| [17:41] | Cheaters, drunks, | 出轨 酗酒 |
| [17:43] | 45-year-old women trying to pass as 38. | 45岁女人却扮嫩说只有38岁 |
| [17:46] | Lyndsey just turned 38! | 林赛刚满38岁呢 |
| [17:49] | Well, luckily, those people are out of our lives now. | 好在这些人现在滚出我们的生活了 |
| [17:53] | Yeah, but sometimes I swear | 但我发誓有时候 |
| [17:55] | I can see their stupid faces right in front of me. | 他们的蠢样子依然出现在我眼前 |
| [17:58] | That might be a wine-induced hallucination. | 这可能是酗酒引发的幻觉 |
| [18:00] | Speaking of wine, a toast to the four of us. | 说到酒 为我们四人干一杯 |
| [18:03] | May this be the first of many dinners, celebrations, | 愿这次以后 有无数晚餐 庆祝 |
| [18:06] | holidays, vacations, anniversaries… | 节日 度假 周年庆 |
| [18:09] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. | 可以了 我们明白了 |
| [18:11] | To us. Bottoms up. | 祝我们 干杯[屁屁朝上] |
| [18:13] | I know mine will be. | 我知道我的会 |
| [18:15] | You are a bad girl. | 你真坏 |
| [18:20] | I think we’re making them uncomfortable. | 我想我们让他们不好意思了 |
| [18:22] | Not as uncomfortable as last night, | 哪有昨晚那么不好意思啊 |
| [18:24] | having sex with your butt on a hot stove. | 你一屁股坐上热炉子上做爱 |
| [18:27] | We were fooling around in the kitchen, | 我们在厨房亲热 |
| [18:29] | and I picked him up in a moment of passion. | 一时兴起就把他抱起来了 |
| [18:33] | I loved it. | 我爱死了 |
| [18:37] | Lyndsey doesn’t use the stove for cooking or sex. | 林赛既不用炉子做饭 也不用来做爱 |
| [18:43] | Sweetie, sweetie, what are you doing? | 亲爱的 你做什么呢 |
| [18:46] | Don’t forget the little butter packets. | 别忘了黄油包 |
| [18:50] | You’re my little butter packet. | 你就是我的黄油包 |
| [18:53] | Doesn’t look like they’re thinking | 他们现在的样子 |
| [18:54] | about any of their exes now. | 可不像想着前任 |
| [18:56] | No, it doesn’t. | 不像 |
| [18:57] | He’s thinking about banging my sister. | 他在想着上我妹妹 |
| [18:59] | I know what he’s thinking! | 我知道他在想什么 |
| [19:05] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:05] | One roommate down, two to go. | 一个室友走了 还剩两个要赶 |
| [19:07] | Alan, where are you? | 艾伦 你在哪里 |
| [19:10] | Hey, there he is. | 他回来啦 |
| [19:13] | Barry? | 巴里 |
| [19:14] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么在这里 |
| [19:15] | Well, you said I could stop by anytime I wanted, so… | 你说了我随时想来都行 所以… |
| [19:19] | Yeah, but I-I just left you. | 但我刚离开你 |
| [19:21] | 17 minutes ago. | 17分钟 |
| [19:23] | I know. I missed you, too. | 我知道 我也想你 |
| [19:26] | Walden, are you done? We’re in the middle of a game. | 沃顿 说完了吗 我们正玩游戏呢 |
| [19:28] | Hey, can you go on a beer run? | 你能去买啤酒吗 |
| [19:29] | What the hell is going on here? | 这里到底是怎么了 |
| [19:31] | This is my house! | 这是我的房子 |
| [19:33] | Do you mind?! | 叫什么叫 |
| [19:34] | Some of us are trying to nap! | 有人想打个盹呢 |
| [19:42] | Oh, oh, well, then put up a sign that says | 贴个牌子啊 |
| [19:43] | only one roll of mints per customer. | 注明一个顾客只能拿一卷薄荷糖 |
| [19:49] | Lyndsey. | 林赛 |
| [19:51] | Are you waiting? | 你在排队吗 |
| [19:53] | Someone pooping in there? | 有人大便吗 |
| [19:55] | What the hell was that about? | 到底什么意思 |
| [19:57] | “You’re my little butter packet.” | “你是我的黄油包” |
| [19:59] | What upset you more? | 什么更让你生气 |
| [20:00] | That she stole that bread… | 她偷了面包 |
| [20:01] | or my heart? | 还是我的心 |
| [20:03] | So you are doing this just to make me jealous. | 这么说 你这么做只是让我嫉妒 |
| [20:05] | No, that’s not it at all. | 不 完全不是 |
| [20:06] | Too bad, ’cause it’s working. | 太糟糕了 因为挺管用的 |
| [20:09] | I’m sorry, I… | 对不起 我… |
| [20:10] | No, I-I really like Gretchen. | 我真的喜欢格雷琴 |
| [20:12] | I-I can’t do this. | 我不能这样做 |
| [20:13] | Jeff Strongman can’t. | 杰夫·斯壮曼不行 |
| [20:15] | But Alan Harper can. | 但艾伦·哈勃可以 |
| [20:17] | Works for me. | 这话我同意 |
| [20:21] | Is that a roll of mints in your pocket | 你裤袋里有一卷薄荷糖 |
| [20:22] | or are you just happy to see me? | 还是你看到我太兴奋了 |
| [20:24] | Actually, it is a roll of mints. | 其实是薄荷糖 |
| [20:27] | And a comb. | 一把梳子 |
| [20:29] | And a bottle of Paco Rabanne. | 还有一瓶帕高香水 |
| [20:42] | All right, the shot for the win. | 好啦 致胜的一投 |
| [20:45] | Be the ball, see the cups. | 人球合一 看清楚杯子 |
| [20:47] | Hey, Barry, check out these cups. | 巴里 看这些罩”杯” |
| [20:50] | Ball to the face. | 球[蛋]砸到脸上 |
| [20:52] | First time for everything. | 都是头一次 |
| [20:55] | I may need to see that again and again. | 我可能需要重复观看 |
| [20:58] | Walden, we have security cameras, right? | 沃顿 家里装了监控镜头对吗 |
| [21:01] | Where’s Walden? | 沃顿去哪里了 |
| [21:06] | I could totally live here. | 我完全可以住在这里 |
| [21:09] | Screech, will you never learn? | 锐锐 你怎么就学不乖呢 |