| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Previously on Two and a Half Men: | 《好汉两个半》前情回顾 |
| [00:02] | Larry, where can I put this poop? | 拉里 这个便便我放哪 |
| [00:04] | This is my sister Gretchen. She just moved here. | 这是我妹妹格雷琴 她刚搬过来 |
| [00:06] | Gretchen, this is Jeff Strongman. | 格雷琴 这是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [00:07] | Larry and Lyndsey are in Palm Springs for the weekend. | 拉里和林赛去棕榈泉过周末了 |
| [00:10] | You want to… come inside? | 你想”进来”吗 |
| [00:12] | That’s what she said! | 那妞也这么说过 |
| [00:15] | No, I really like Gretchen. | 我真的喜欢格雷琴 |
| [00:17] | I can’t do this. | 我不能这样做 |
| [00:18] | Jeff Strongman can’t. | 杰夫·斯壮曼不行 |
| [00:19] | But Alan Harper can. | 但艾伦·哈勃可以 |
| [00:21] | Works for me. | 这话我同意 |
| [00:28] | Oh, ho, ho, boy. | 有意思 |
| [00:29] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [00:31] | Just got an interesting e-mail. | 刚收到一封有意思的电邮 |
| [00:32] | If it says, “Local horny housewives looking for action,” | 如果是说”本地饥渴主妇寻求刺激” |
| [00:34] | it’s a lie. | 那是骗人的 |
| [00:37] | It should say, “Local police entrapping confused citizens.” | 那其实是”本地警察对糊涂市民下套” |
| [00:41] | It’s an Evite from Kate. | 是凯特寄来的电子邀请函 |
| [00:43] | She’s opening a boutique in LA. | 她要在洛杉矶开一家精品店 |
| [00:45] | Who’s Kate? | 谁是凯特啊 |
| [00:46] | Eh, it’s a long story. | 一言难尽 |
| [00:48] | It’s not that long. | 也没那么难尽 |
| [00:50] | Kate was the great love of Walden’s life | 凯特是沃顿生命中的一重要爱人 |
| [00:52] | who he met by pretending he was poor. | 他假扮穷小子与她认识的 |
| [00:54] | But by the time he told her the truth, | 但是当他告诉她事实的时候 |
| [00:55] | she’d become a successful clothing designer | 她已经成为了成功的服装设计师 |
| [00:57] | and moved to China. | 搬去了中国 |
| [00:58] | At first they e-mailed frequently but… | 一开始他们还常常互相发电邮 |
| [01:00] | you know, it tapered off over time. | 但随着时间也就慢慢淡了 |
| [01:02] | Now he just uses Google Earth to try to look | 现在他就用谷歌地球 |
| [01:03] | in her bedroom window, but the image hasn’t refreshed | 去看她卧室的窗户 可是上面的街景图 |
| [01:06] | in months, so he just stares for hours at this picture | 好几个月没更新了 所以他花了无数小时 |
| [01:08] | of this Hong Kong cab driver named Bai Ling, it’s… | 盯着那张只有名叫白灵的香港出租车司机图 |
| [01:13] | I never told you any of that. | 我从没跟你说过这些事啊 |
| [01:15] | Well, it’s kind of my job to know | 知道你生命中的大小事 |
| [01:16] | the ins and outs of your life. | 也是我工作的一部分啊 |
| [01:18] | No, it’s not. | 才不是呢 |
| [01:19] | Look, if you don’t want me know this stuff, | 你要是不想让我知道这些事 |
| [01:21] | come up with a harder password than | 电脑弄个难一点的密码啊 |
| [01:22] | “QD-backslash-seven-two-dollar symbol-big-C-little-K.” | “QD\72$Ck”也太简单了 |
| [01:27] | Look, she-she says, “I hope to see ya.” | 她说”我希望能见到哦” |
| [01:30] | That’s good, right? | 这是好事吧 |
| [01:31] | Is it “Ya,” Y-A, | 是”哦” |
| [01:34] | or “You,” Y-O-U? | 还是”哟” |
| [01:37] | “Ya.” Y-A. | 是”哦” |
| [01:39] | Why ehh? She hopes I can make it. | 干嘛这反应 她希望我能到场呢 |
| [01:41] | I say “Ya” when I want to blow somebody off. | 我说”哦”的时候 就是想甩人的时候 |
| [01:44] | See ya. | 再见哦 |
| [01:45] | Call ya. | 再联络哦 |
| [01:46] | I have “Chlamydi-ya.” | 我有性病哦 |
| [01:50] | She’s right. | 她说的有道理 |
| [01:51] | Get out of here, “Ya freak.” | 滚出去 你变态哦 |
| [01:52] | Never done this before, have “Ya”? | 你这是第一次哦 |
| [01:55] | I’m your cousin, what’s wrong with… | 我是你亲戚 你脑子 |
| [01:57] | “Ya”? | 有啥问题哦 |
| [02:01] | It doesn’t matter whether it’s you or ya. | 她写了”哟”还是”哦”根本无所谓 |
| [02:03] | The important thing is she wants me to go. | 重点是她想要我去 |
| [02:05] | On the other hand, | 但也有可能 |
| [02:07] | it could be a mass e-mail. | 这只是群发的邮件 |
| [02:08] | I’d hate to show up and have her talking to some guy | 我可不想去了之后看到她跟叫 |
| [02:10] | named Jacques or Filippo. | 雅克或费立波之类的男人亲近 |
| [02:12] | Okay, those names are awesome. | 那些名字很酷啊 |
| [02:14] | Hi, it’s-a me, Filippo. | 是我哇 费立波哇 |
| [02:16] | I live with my mother | 我还跟我妈妈同住 |
| [02:17] | but it’s-a not weird ’cause I’m Italian. | 意大利人嘛 不稀奇 |
| [02:21] | Maybe I’m wrong. | 也可能是我说错了 |
| [02:22] | Just go and see. | 就去看看吧 |
| [02:24] | And Filippo… | 费立波先生 |
| [02:25] | your fly’s open. | 你拉链没拉 |
| [02:28] | Scusi. | 对不起 |
| [02:33] | Is that your stuff? | 那是你的行李吗 |
| [02:35] | Is it… h-happening? | 这一天真的到来了吗 |
| [02:36] | Are you moving out? | 你要搬走了吗 |
| [02:38] | You’re cute. I’m not leaving till I’m in a box. | 真可爱 我入土为安之时才是我离开之日 |
| [02:42] | No, I, uh, I dug out all our old board games | 我就找出了我以前的旧桌游 |
| [02:44] | for my couples night with Larry. | 去拉里家的情侣之夜时玩 |
| [02:46] | You know, Monopoly, Parcheesi, Clue. | 大富翁 飞行棋 猜谜游戏之类的 |
| [02:48] | Wow, first you have sex with this guy’s girlfriend, | 你先跟人家的女朋友搞上 |
| [02:50] | now you’re having sex with his sister? | 现在还搞上人家妹妹啦 |
| [02:52] | I’m going with Larry, in the living room, with the lead pipe. | 我猜拉里家的客厅有含铅水管吧[影响智力] |
| [02:56] | Larry actually wants us to spend more time together | 在我跟格雷琴在一起后 拉里希望我们 |
| [02:57] | now that I’m dating Gretchen. | 能够多多在一起 |
| [02:59] | How’s Lyndsey taking you moving on? | 林赛对你展开新恋情有何感觉 |
| [03:01] | Pretty well. Uh, last night she said, “I still want you.” | 还不错啊 昨晚她对我说”我还想要你哟” |
| [03:05] | – “You.” – “You.” | -人家是”哟” -“哟” |
| [03:06] | I heard him, I heard him. | 我听到了 听到了 |
| [03:19] | Uh, it’s a movie. | 是一部电影 |
| [03:22] | West Side Story. | 《西区故事》 |
| [03:22] | Ah, ding, ding, ding, ding. | 中啦中啦中啦 |
| [03:24] | We have a winner. | 有人猜对啦 |
| [03:25] | How the hell did you get that? | 你怎么猜到的 |
| [03:27] | Oh, you know, fin, shark, Sharks and Jets, | 你看 鱼鳍 鲨鱼 西区故事里的帮派名 |
| [03:29] | and I know how my Jeffy loves his musicals. | 我也知道我的小杰夫多喜欢音乐剧 |
| [03:32] | My favorite musical is My Fair Lady ’cause | 我最喜欢的音乐剧是《窈窕淑女》 |
| [03:33] | it reminds me of my Gretchie. Aw. | 因为会让我想到我的小琴琴 |
| [03:36] | I think I’m gonna wretchie. | 我还想杀人人呢 |
| [03:40] | You guys are tough. | 你们真厉害 |
| [03:41] | Well, it’s like I can read her mind. | 就像我能读到她心思一样 |
| [03:42] | – I think it. – And I say it. | -我一动念头 -我就能说出来 |
| [03:44] | Larry and I are the same way. | 我跟拉里也是这样 |
| [03:45] | Watch. It’s a movie. | 看好了 是部电影 |
| [03:49] | A duck. A beak. A duck. | 鸭子 鸭嘴 鸭子 |
| [03:51] | Flying ducks. Uh… | 飞鸭 |
| [03:52] | Duck’s ahoy. Donald Duck. | 鸭子游戏 唐老鸭 |
| [03:54] | Daffy Duck. Duck and cover. | 达菲鸭 卧倒[鸭子]并掩护 |
| [03:56] | Duck, duck, goose. Duck Dynasty. | 点鸭鸭[游戏] 鸭子王朝[真人秀] |
| [03:58] | Mighty Ducks. | 《野鸭变凤凰》 |
| [04:00] | Mighty Ducks 2. | 《野鸭变凤凰2》 |
| [04:02] | Mighty Ducks 3. | 《野鸭变凤凰3》 |
| [04:03] | It’s not a duck. | 不是鸭子 |
| [04:06] | Aflac. | 艾佛列克 |
| [04:09] | Ben Affleck. | 班·艾佛列克[演员] |
| [04:11] | Good Will Hunting. | 《心灵捕手》 |
| [04:12] | Hunting ducks. | 猎鸭 |
| [04:13] | Ducky, from Pretty in Pink. | 《红粉佳人》里的达奇[鸭子] |
| [04:17] | It’s The Wizard of Oz. | 是《绿野仙踪》啦 |
| [04:19] | There’s no duck in The Wizard of Oz. | 《绿野仙踪》里没有鸭子啊 |
| [04:22] | What the duck is wrong with you? | 你鸭的脑子有病啊 |
| [04:25] | I need a drink. | 我得喝点酒 |
| [04:27] | Uh, anyone else want a refill? Gretchen? | 有人要再来一杯吗 格雷琴 |
| [04:30] | Why don’t you just read her mind? | 你干嘛不直接读她想法 |
| [04:32] | Oh, okay, um… | 可以啊 |
| [04:34] | Sex on the beach. | 激情海岸[在沙滩上做爱] |
| [04:35] | And not the drink. | 她想的不是鸡尾酒哦 |
| [04:37] | Looks like my fair lady is more like my naughty lady. | 看来我的窈窕淑女更像是淘气辣妹 |
| [04:41] | Can you guess what I’m thinking, Lyndsey? | 你能猜到我在想什么吗 林赛 |
| [04:44] | Ducks. | 鸭子 |
| [04:45] | Whoa, that is spooky. | 真是太神了 |
| [04:51] | Lyndsey! | 林赛 |
| [04:52] | Hey, Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [04:54] | Let’s see if you can read my mind. | 看看你能否读懂我的心 |
| [04:55] | I’ll give you a hint: it rhymes with duck. | 给你个提示 跟鸭子同韵[Fuck] |
| [04:59] | Oh, oh, I’m-I’m not sure that’s a good idea. | 我不确定这是否是个好主意 |
| [05:02] | I just came in for a little dessert. | 我只是进来吃点甜点 |
| [05:04] | Okay, uh, well, there’s, uh, there’s pie, there’s cake, | 好啊 有馅饼 蛋糕 |
| [05:08] | gluten-free cookies. | 无麸质饼干 |
| [05:11] | Hey, Jeff? | 杰夫 |
| [05:15] | Lyndsey? | 林赛 |
| [05:17] | Hey, hey, how did I get here? | 我怎么会在这里 |
| [05:18] | Am I sleepwalking? | 我在梦游吗 |
| [05:20] | Lyndsey? | 林赛 |
| [05:21] | Thi-This isn’t what it looks like. | 事情不是看上去的那样 |
| [05:24] | It looks like you’re cheating. | 你”偷吃”了 |
| [05:25] | O-Okay, I-I can explain, thi-thi… uh… | 我可以解释的 这… |
| [05:27] | I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on. | 我不傻 我看得出来是怎么回事 |
| [05:31] | You’re never gonna fit in that wedding dress | 你要是再继续这么偷吃东西 |
| [05:32] | if you keep cheating on your diet. | 你到时候铁定会穿不下婚纱 |
| [05:35] | Yes, the-the-the diet. | 没错 是在说偷吃东西 |
| [05:37] | He’s not stupid. | 他又不是傻子 |
| [05:39] | You’re right, honey. I am weak. | 你说的对 亲爱的 我意志不够坚定 |
| [05:41] | I-I… This is all my fault, Larry. | 都是我的错 拉里 |
| [05:43] | As best man, it’s my job to make sure that | 作为伴郎 我应该确保 |
| [05:44] | nothing goes into her mouth that shouldn’t be there. | 不该进她嘴里的”东西” 绝不能进去 |
| [05:48] | Exactly. You can’t let her blow it. | 没错 你不能让她乱”吃” |
| [05:58] | Oh, my God. I’m so nervous. | 天啊 我太紧张了 |
| [05:59] | Do I look nervous? | 我看起来紧张吗 |
| [06:00] | I don’t want to be nervous… | 我不想紧张啊 |
| [06:03] | Dry mouth, it’s… | 口干舌燥 |
| [06:07] | Is that weird? | 这样很奇怪吗 |
| [06:08] | I don’t want to be weird. Am I weird? | 我不想看起来像怪胎 我奇怪吗 |
| [06:13] | There she is. | 她在那里 |
| [06:17] | Hi, handsome. | 帅哥你好啊 |
| [06:18] | Hey, bring it in. | 抱一个 |
| [06:22] | I-I forgot how beautiful you are. | 我都忘了你有多美 |
| [06:24] | That’s a lie. | 那是假话 |
| [06:25] | I think about it every day. | 我每天都在想你 |
| [06:27] | – You look beautiful, too. – Thank you. | -你也很帅 -谢谢 |
| [06:29] | I’m using a new seaweed scrub. | 我在用一款新的海草护肤品 |
| [06:30] | It makes me smell like dead fish, but I get a glow. | 虽然闻起来像死鱼 但让我容光焕发 |
| [06:32] | This is Barry and Jenny. | 这是巴里和珍妮 |
| [06:34] | Uh, they’re my… | 他们是我的… |
| [06:36] | new Alans. | 新艾伦 |
| [06:38] | – Oh. Hi, it’s nice to meet you. – You, too. | -你们好 很高兴见到你们 -我也是 |
| [06:41] | – You look different than your satellite photos. – Whoa, Barry. | -你跟卫星地图上看到的样子不一样 -巴里 |
| [06:44] | Can you hang on one second? | 你能等我一下吗 |
| [06:45] | I just have to say good-bye to this magazine editor. | 我要跟那个杂志主编告个别 |
| [06:47] | – Uh, yeah, sure. – Okay, I’ll be right back. | -当然可以 -好的 我马上回来 |
| [06:48] | Okay. Oh, uh, uh, if you can’t find me, | 好的 如果找不到我的话 |
| [06:50] | just follow the smell of dead fish. | 寻着死鱼的味道就能找到了 |
| [06:52] | Oh, my God, if I die tonight, that’s gonna be | 天啊 如果我今晚死了 那将是 |
| [06:54] | the last thing she remembers me saying. | 我死前对她说的最后一句话 |
| [07:00] | Would you just relax? | 你可以放松一下吗 |
| [07:02] | She’s obviously into you. I mean, | 她明显喜欢你 |
| [07:04] | she looks at you the way that… | 她看你的眼神就像… |
| [07:06] | he looks at me. | 他看我一样 |
| [07:09] | Like… she wants to eat me? | 就像…她想吃了我吗 |
| [07:11] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [07:12] | Barry, when I said, “bite me,” | 巴里 我说的”不爽咬我” |
| [07:14] | it didn’t mean what you think it means. | 完全不是你想的那个意思 |
| [07:17] | Just-Just ask her out. | 直接去约她 |
| [07:19] | What… And then what? Then she goes back to China, | 然后呢 然后她回中国 |
| [07:21] | and I get left heartbroken again? | 我再心碎一回吗 |
| [07:23] | Think about it this way: | 你可以这样想 |
| [07:24] | You can either spend the next two days hanging out with her | 你要么跟她约会两天 |
| [07:26] | or the next two days hanging out with us. | 要么跟我们俩待两天 |
| [07:31] | Kate…? | 凯特 |
| [07:33] | Come on, Barry. | 走 巴里 |
| [07:34] | Let’s get drunk and grope models. | 喝醉了好对模特们毛手毛脚 |
| [07:39] | That’s nice. | 这件不错 |
| [07:44] | What… Walden? Sorry. | 怎么了 沃顿 抱歉 |
| [07:46] | I… So my date’s a little tipsy. | 我的女伴有点醉了 |
| [07:48] | Don’t worry, she’s not driving. | 别担心 我会送她回家 |
| [07:52] | Hey, do you want to go out? | 你想跟我一起出去吗 |
| [07:55] | I don’t know, for-for dinner or something? | 吃个饭 或做点别的 |
| [07:57] | I mean, no pressure. Just two old friends catching up. | 不要有压力 只是两个老朋友叙叙旧 |
| [08:01] | Yeah. Two old friends who’ve… | 好啊 两个给对方 |
| [08:03] | taken pictures of each other naked. | 拍过裸照的老朋友 |
| [08:05] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [08:07] | – I deleted those photos. – I didn’t. | -那些照片我删了 -我没删 |
| [08:09] | Me neither. | 我也没删 |
| [08:12] | Well, I do want to hear what’s been going on. | 我的确有想听你说说近况 |
| [08:14] | I’ve got so much to tell you. | 我有很多话想跟你说 |
| [08:16] | So let’s-let’s do it. | 那就走吧 |
| [08:18] | Okay. Dinner. | 好啊 吃饭 |
| [08:20] | Conversation. No sex. | 只说话 不做爱 |
| [08:22] | Get rid of the conversation and we can pretend we’re married. | 不做爱再加上不讲话 我们都能扮已婚夫妇了 |
| [08:27] | Well, thanks again. This was fun. | 再次感谢 今晚很开心 |
| [08:28] | I’m gonna walk Jeff out. | 我送杰夫出去 |
| [08:30] | Oh, right, you guys probably want some privacy | 也对 你们或许需要点私人空间 |
| [08:31] | so you can play tonsil hockey. | 用舌头进行道别 |
| [08:35] | Seriously, Larry? | 真的吗 拉里 |
| [08:37] | What? It’s not like we don’t know they’re having sex. | 怎么了 我们又不是不知道他们已经上床了 |
| [08:39] | Remember the other night when I was like, | 记不记得前几天晚上我说 |
| [08:40] | “Wow, they’re really going at it,” | “他们搞得真火热” |
| [08:41] | And you were like, “Larry,” And I was like, “What?,” | 你就说”拉里” 我说”怎么了” |
| [08:43] | And you were like “focus on me,” | 你说”专心搞我” |
| [08:44] | And I was like, “Why? I already finished,” | 我说”为什么 我已经爽完了” |
| [08:46] | – and you were like… – I remember. | -然后你说… -我记得 |
| [08:50] | Why don’t I get the door for you? | 我帮你们开门吧 |
| [08:52] | Well, uh, once again, we had a lovely | 再次感谢你们 我们度过了一个愉快的 |
| [08:54] | – evening, it was a very nice… – Yeah, yeah, see ya. | -夜晚 很高兴… -是啊是啊 再见 |
| [08:58] | Wow. That was uncomfortable. | 真让人不舒服 |
| [09:00] | I think Lyndsey’s tired of having me around. | 我觉得林赛不喜欢我住在这里 |
| [09:02] | I’ve been living in the guest room for two weeks. | 我在客房住了两周了 |
| [09:04] | Doesn’t seem so long to me. | 我觉得两周不久啊 |
| [09:06] | Hey, how about tomorrow night, we go to your place? | 明天晚上我们去你家怎么样 |
| [09:08] | Uh, my place? | 我家吗 |
| [09:10] | Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. | 好啊 当然可以 |
| [09:11] | Oh, oh, but, uh, but what about Larry? | 但是拉里怎么办 |
| [09:14] | I mean, he-he seems to really enjoy hearing us have sex. | 他似乎很喜欢听我们做爱 |
| [09:17] | Jeff, do you not want me to see your place? | 杰夫 你不想让我看到你家吗 |
| [09:20] | I mean, If you’re worried about getting rid of your porn, don’t. | 如果你担心得藏你的黄片 大可不必 |
| [09:22] | I love porn. | 我喜欢黄片 |
| [09:23] | You’re perfect. | 你真完美 |
| [09:25] | Did someone make you in the lab | 你是实验室特制的 |
| [09:27] | or were you sent directly from Heaven? | 还是天堂下凡的 |
| [09:28] | That’s me. | 这就是我啊 |
| [09:29] | I am a robot angel | 我是喜欢 |
| [09:31] | who loves masturbating to pornography. | 看黄片自慰的机器天使 |
| [09:34] | My place it is. Tomorrow night. | 那明晚就去我家 |
| [09:37] | Great. | 好的 |
| [09:38] | I can’t wait to see what your place looks like. | 我等不及要看你家什么样了 |
| [09:43] | Neither can I. | 我也是 |
| [09:51] | Oh, uh, quick, Barry, call the police. | 巴里 快报警 |
| [09:52] | A male model is robbing us | 一位男模正在打劫我们 |
| [09:54] | and he’s already stolen my heart. | 而他早已偷走了我的心 |
| [09:56] | What do you want? | 你想要什么 |
| [09:58] | My heart back. | 想要回我的心 |
| [10:00] | Also, uh, Gretchen is coming over tonight. | 还有 格雷琴今晚要过来 |
| [10:03] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [10:04] | She wants to see Jeff Strongman’s place. | 她想看看杰夫·斯壮曼的家 |
| [10:07] | This isn’t even Alan Harper’s place. | 这里连艾伦·哈勃的家都不是 |
| [10:11] | Ooh, “Alan Harper’s Place.” That’s a… | “艾伦·哈勃之家” 这名字不错 |
| [10:13] | That’s a good name for a sitcom. | 可以作为情景喜剧的名字了 |
| [10:15] | Alan Harper’s Place | 《艾伦·哈勃之家》 |
| [10:16] | is filmed before a live studio audience. | 摄制于现场观众面前 |
| [10:19] | That’s funny. Anyway… | 真好笑 总之… |
| [10:21] | Just while she’s here, just call me Jeff. | 她在这里的时候 就叫我杰夫 |
| [10:24] | Or Mr. Strongman, J-Dawg, you know, whatever. | 或斯壮曼先生 J狗 随便啦 |
| [10:26] | Just have fun with it. | 发挥想象力吧 |
| [10:28] | Okay, I’m gonna go on my date now. | 好了 我现在要去约会 |
| [10:30] | And when I get back, I don’t want to see Gretchen | 等我回来的时候 别让我看到格雷琴 |
| [10:32] | or Jeff or J-Dawg | 或杰夫 或J狗 |
| [10:36] | or DJ Strongman. | 或斯壮曼DJ |
| [10:39] | Word. | 同意 |
| [10:40] | Yeah. You know, in fact, I don’t even want to see Alan | 事实上 最好也别让我见到艾伦 |
| [10:42] | or A-Dawg or any of the cast of Alan Harper’s place. | 或A狗 或是任何《艾伦·哈勃之家》的演员 |
| [10:48] | You know… if I had a place to sleep here, | 如果这里有地方给我睡觉 |
| [10:51] | my apartment would be free. | 那我的公寓就能空出来给你用 |
| [10:54] | You had me at “free.” | 你说空出来[免费]时我就决定了 |
| [10:59] | So, have you traveled around China at all? | 你有没有环游中国 |
| [11:01] | Did you get to see the Great Wall? | 去看万里[很棒]长城了吗 |
| [11:02] | Yeah, I saw it. | 看了 |
| [11:03] | It’s a good wall. | 还挺不错的长城 |
| [11:04] | It’s not great. | 但没到很棒啦 |
| [11:06] | I felt the same way about the Grand Canyon. | 我觉得科罗拉多大峡谷起名也太夸张了 |
| [11:08] | More like the Bland Canyon. | 更像是科罗拉多平峡谷吧 |
| [11:10] | I’m glad we came back here. | 很高兴我们回到这里 |
| [11:12] | I thought it was appropriate to come back to the place | 我觉得回到我们第一次约会的地方 |
| [11:14] | we had our first date. | 还挺合适 |
| [11:15] | Yeah, it’s very sweet. | 是 很贴心 |
| [11:16] | Of course, that’s when I thought you were poor. | 当然 那时候我以为你很穷 |
| [11:18] | Now you’re just cheap. | 现在你就是小气了 |
| [11:20] | Well, I figured since we’re not having sex, | 反正我们也不会做爱 |
| [11:23] | why bother spending a lot of money on dinner? | 何必花大钱请你吃饭呢 |
| [11:25] | Tonight just kind of feels right, you know? | 今晚气氛很对 |
| [11:28] | Totally. And, honestly, | 是啊 说实话 |
| [11:30] | the no sex thing isn’t weird at all. | 不做爱完全不会觉得奇怪 |
| [11:32] | I didn’t even have to shave my legs. | 我都不必刮腿毛 |
| [11:34] | I did, but that was more of a personal choice. | 我刮了 不过那算是个人选择 |
| [11:37] | It’s like friends with no benefits. | 我们就是无炮之友 |
| [11:40] | Yeah, I actually kind of prefer it. | 是啊 我还挺喜欢这样的 |
| [11:41] | – I mean, there’s no pressure. – No nerves. | -没有压力 -没有紧张 |
| [11:43] | No walk of shame. | 没有过夜羞耻 |
| [11:45] | No massages. | 没有按摩 |
| [11:47] | No… hot oil. | 没有 热油 |
| [11:49] | No kisses on my neck. | 没有我颈间的亲吻 |
| [11:51] | No fingers running down my spine. | 没有摸索我脊柱的手指 |
| [11:55] | No orgasms. | 没有高潮 |
| [11:57] | No idea why we’re not having sex right now. | 我们到底为什么不立马干一炮 |
| [12:01] | – I’ll race you to the car. – I’m right behind you. | -比谁先去拿车 -我马上就来 |
| [12:12] | Oh, God, I’ve been waiting a year for this. | 天啊 我等今天都等了一年了 |
| [12:14] | It feels so great to be with you again. | 跟你重归于好的感觉太棒了 |
| [12:17] | That’s against the rules. No feelings. | 这么说可是坏规矩的 不能讨论感受 |
| [12:19] | So you don’t want me to feel this? | 那你也不想我感受一下这家伙了 |
| [12:23] | Apparently, the rules can be bent. | 显然 “规矩”是可以歪曲的 |
| [12:26] | And straightened. | 然后再撸直 |
| [12:34] | Was that… you or me? | 那是你还是我 |
| [12:35] | Girls don’t make sounds like that, Walden. | 女生可不会发出这样的声音 沃顿 |
| [12:43] | That was you! | 是你发出的 |
| [12:52] | Did I make it to the toilet? | 那”我”有来得及吐到马桶里吗 |
| [13:03] | Oh, this is a cute place. | 这地方真不错 |
| [13:05] | Yeah, it really is cute, isn’t it? | 是啊 挺不错的 对吧 |
| [13:07] | I really like what I’ve done with it. | 我真喜欢我家的装修 |
| [13:11] | Oh, and you have a cat. | 你还养猫呢 |
| [13:13] | Apparently I do. | 显然是的 |
| [13:15] | What’s his name? | 它叫什么 |
| [13:17] | Uh, his name is… Mister… | 它叫 猫… |
| [13:19] | Cat. | 猫先生 |
| [13:21] | You are terrible at coming up with names, Jeff Strongman. | 你可真不会取名 杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [13:26] | Hey, you didn’t tell me you went to MIT. | 你都没说过你是麻省理工的 |
| [13:28] | Uh, well, you know, I don’t like to brag. | 我不喜欢吹嘘嘛 |
| [13:30] | Well, what’d you major in? | 你什么专业的 |
| [13:32] | Uh… math. | 数学 |
| [13:35] | With a-a focus on… numbers. | 数字方向 |
| [13:40] | I’m terrible at math. | 我数学超烂 |
| [13:41] | Every time I count to 100, I keep getting stuck on 69. | 每次数100 我都会卡在”69″ |
| [13:46] | Ooh, dirty math jokes. | 数学荤段子 |
| [13:48] | Let’s see how many times your orgasms multiply. | 我们来看看你的高潮能成几倍增长 |
| [13:54] | We really are perfect for each other. | 我俩真是天生一对 |
| [13:56] | I know, right? | 可不是 |
| [13:58] | Can I tell you something? | 能跟你说件事吗 |
| [14:00] | Yeah, of course, anything. | 当然 你说 |
| [14:01] | You are the first man I have trusted since my divorce. | 你是我离婚以来第一个信任的男人 |
| [14:04] | Well, uh, you know, MIT stands for “Man I Trust,” so… | MIT就代表”可靠男” 所以… |
| [14:10] | No, it’s… it’s more than that. | 不 不仅如此 |
| [14:12] | My husband was a liar and a cheater. | 我丈夫欺骗我 还出轨 |
| [14:15] | He was not the man I thought he was. | 他不是我以为的那个人 |
| [14:17] | Well, you know, some guys can be real jerks. | 有些男人就是混蛋 |
| [14:20] | Well, thank God you’re not like that, Jeff. | 谢天谢地你不是其中之一 杰夫 |
| [14:23] | Yeah. Thank God. | 是啊 且行且珍惜 |
| [14:26] | I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring us down. It just… | 不好意思 我不是故意扫兴的 只是 |
| [14:29] | feels so good to open up and let somebody in again, you know? | 再次敞开自己心扉 让人进入的感觉真好 |
| [14:32] | Aw, well, I’m glad you did. | 很高兴你这么做了 |
| [14:34] | In fact, I’m not even gonna make a dirty joke | 我都不会开你玩笑 |
| [14:35] | about you opening up and letting me in. | “敞开自己 让我进入” |
| [14:38] | You care enough about me to pass up sexy wordplay. | 你这么在乎我 连淫荡双关语都放弃不说了 |
| [14:42] | And it was very hard on me. | 对我可真”坚”难呢 |
| [14:44] | – You said “Hard on.” – Kiss me. | -你说了”坚” -吻我 |
| [14:51] | How you doing in there? You okay? | 你在里面还好吗 |
| [14:53] | Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. | 天啊 天啊 天啊 |
| [14:57] | You know, if someone read a transcript of this date, | 如果别人只是看我们约会的对白 |
| [15:00] | it’d sound like we were having hot sex. | 一定以为我们正在大战三百回合 |
| [15:03] | Oh, God, it’s in my hair. | 天啊 都粘在我头发上了 |
| [15:06] | That sounds like we just finished having hot sex. | 而现在我们刚结束了三百回合的大战 |
| [15:12] | What was that? | 什么声音 |
| [15:14] | Hold on. I think Alan just saw a spider again. | 等一下 可能是艾伦又看到蜘蛛了 |
| [15:18] | What the hell is going on? | 出什么事了 |
| [15:19] | Whoa. Lyndsey. | 林赛 |
| [15:21] | Barry! | 巴里 |
| [15:24] | Wait, you two didn’t… | 你们不会… |
| [15:24] | Are you kidding? No! | 开什么玩笑 当然没有 |
| [15:26] | Third base. | 上了三垒 |
| [15:28] | I got into bed to surprise Alan, and… | 我想来给艾伦一个惊喜 |
| [15:31] | Scusi. | 对不起 |
| [15:33] | Where is Alan? | 艾伦在哪里 |
| [15:34] | Uh, he’s at my place. | 他在我的公寓 |
| [15:36] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:41] | What the hell was that? | 那是什么声音 |
| [15:42] | Oh, God. | 老天 |
| [15:47] | So… you ready for a ride on the Barry-go-round? | 那么 准备骑着巴里来一圈吗 |
| [15:59] | I really regret buying a wicker wastebasket right now. | 现在我真的很后悔买的是柳条垃圾桶 |
| [16:05] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [16:06] | I can’t help feeling this is my fault. | 我总觉得这是我的错 |
| [16:08] | Why? Just ’cause you ordered the squid surprise? | 为什么 就因为你点了”鱿鱼惊喜”吗 |
| [16:12] | “Try it, Walden, it won’t kill you.” | “尝一口吧 沃顿 又不会要你的命” |
| [16:14] | I wish it had. | 现在还不如死了算了 |
| [16:17] | Only you could make me smile when I’m this sick. | 我病成这样时 只有你能逗我笑 |
| [16:20] | I really missed you. | 我真的很想你 |
| [16:22] | I’ve missed you, too. | 我也想你 |
| [16:24] | Even if this is the way that | 哪怕你在这里的几天 我们全是 |
| [16:26] | we spend the whole time that you’re here… | 这样度过 |
| [16:29] | …I’m just glad that we’re together. | 我也很高兴我们在一起 |
| [16:32] | You are so sweet. | 你真好 |
| [16:34] | Hey, uh, you know right after you throw up, | 知道吗 在呕吐之后 |
| [16:36] | how there’s that 20-minute window when you feel better? | 会有20分钟感觉好些的间隔期 |
| [16:39] | Yeah…? | 怎样 |
| [16:40] | I’m in mine. | 我正处在间隔期 |
| [16:42] | So… | 那么 |
| [16:43] | if you’re in yours… | 如果你也处在间隔期 |
| [16:46] | Then you could put yours in mine. | 那”你的”就可以进入”我的” |
| [16:50] | Exactly. | 正是 |
| [16:55] | Window’s closing! | 间隔期结束了 |
| [16:59] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [17:04] | Ooh, squid. | 鱿鱼 |
| [17:08] | Shrimp’s sexy sister. | 虾类性感的姐妹 |
| [17:21] | Tastes a little odd, but, eh, | 味道有些怪 但是 |
| [17:23] | Alans can’t be choosers. | 艾伦们没资格挑剔 |
| [17:31] | Oh, hey, Lyndsey, what’s up? | 林赛 什么事 |
| [17:32] | – Where were you last night? – Last night? | -你昨晚在哪里 -昨晚吗 |
| [17:34] | And don’t do that thing where you ask questions | 别耍花招 反问问题 |
| [17:35] | while you think of a lie. | 却想着谎言 |
| [17:37] | That thing where I ask questions while I think of a lie? | 我反问问题却想着谎言的花招 |
| [17:41] | I was with Gretchen. | 我和格雷琴在一起 |
| [17:42] | I see. Well, I snuck into your room | 我知道了 我溜进你的房间 |
| [17:44] | to give you a little surprise | 想给你一点小惊喜 |
| [17:45] | and molested the kid sleeping in your bed. | 然后调戏了睡在你床上的孩子 |
| [17:49] | Please tell me he’s 18. | 拜托告诉我他满18岁了 |
| [17:51] | Honestly, if you told me he was anywhere from 12 to 60 | 说实话 如果你告诉我他的年纪是12至60 |
| [17:54] | I’d believe you. | 我都会相信 |
| [17:56] | Okay, fine. L-Let’s not waste time fighting. | 好了 咱们别浪费时间吵架 |
| [17:58] | I have a half hour till I have to go meet Larry. | 我去见莱瑞前还有半小时 |
| [18:00] | He’s in the park feeding the frickin’ ducks. | 他在公园喂该死的鸭子 |
| [18:02] | Oh. Oh, no, no. Lyndsey, wait. Um… | 不行 林赛 等等 |
| [18:05] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [18:06] | I can’t do this. | 我做不了 |
| [18:07] | What do you need: pills, porn or pinky? | 你需要什么 壮阳药 A片还是小指 |
| [18:11] | No… no, I’m-I’m-I’m not gonna have-have sex with you. | 不 我不会和你做爱 |
| [18:13] | I-I really like Gretchen. | 我真的喜欢格雷琴 |
| [18:15] | I’m-I’m not gonna cheat on her. | 我不想背叛她 |
| [18:20] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:21] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [18:24] | So, I-I guess this is good-bye. | 那么 我想我们只能再见了 |
| [18:27] | Well, I’m still gonna be the best man at your wedding. | 我依然会在你的婚礼上担任伴郎 |
| [18:32] | Good-bye, Alan. | 再见 艾伦 |
| [18:35] | Well, well, look who’s back for more. | 瞧啊 看谁回来想索要更多 |
| [18:38] | Get away from me, ya freak. | 滚远点 你是变态哦 |
| [18:41] | Wait, did you say “Ya” or “You”? | 慢着 你说的是”哦”还是”哟” |
| [18:47] | Well… | 好啦 |
| [18:48] | this has been horrible. | 这次太可怕了 |
| [18:50] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [18:51] | But from now on, every time you see a toilet, | 但从今以后 你每次见到马桶 |
| [18:54] | you’ll think of me. | 就会想起我 |
| [18:56] | And every time you hear a woman say | 你每次听到一个女人说 |
| [18:58] | “Hold my hair out of the puke water,” | 挽起我的头发 别掉进呕吐水里 |
| [19:00] | you’ll think of me. | 你就会想起我 |
| [19:03] | So, listen, | 听着 |
| [19:04] | next time we see each other, if we’re still single, | 下次我们见面时 如果我们依然都是单身 |
| [19:07] | we’ll forget all the rules and just… bang our brains out. | 我们抛开所有的规矩 做它一个天崩地裂 |
| [19:11] | At the very least, I’ll get an air mattress | 至少我会在厕所地板上 |
| [19:13] | – for the bathroom floor. – Agreed. | -放张充气床 -同意 |
| [19:17] | Let’s not make a big deal of this. | 别弄得太伤感了 |
| [19:18] | Let’s just… kiss and say good-bye. | 我们吻别吧 |
| [19:26] | – Bye. – Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
| [19:32] | Sorry about that. | 太遗憾了 |
| [19:36] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [19:38] | By the way, I saw your bathroom. | 对了 我看到厕所的情况了 |
| [19:40] | I quit. | 我不干了 |
| [19:46] | Screw China. | 不去中国了 |
| [19:47] | Let’s do it right now. | 我们现在就做吧 |
| [19:50] | You’re lighter than I remember. | 你比我印象中轻了 |
| [19:52] | I’m not lighter, I’m just empty. | 我不是轻了 我是吐光了 |
| [19:58] | Puking all night and screwing all day. | 吐一整晚 干一整天 |
| [20:01] | It’s like Charlie never left. | 查理从未离开过啊 |
| [20:13] | D-Down, Mr. Cat. | 安静 猫先生 |
| [20:15] | Down! Down! | 安静 安静 |
| [20:18] | I really love that little guy. | 我好喜欢那个小家伙 |
| [20:20] | You want some breakfast? | 要来点早餐吗 |
| [20:21] | Uh, sure, if it comes with a side order of Gretchen. | 当然 只要配菜是格雷琴就行 |
| [20:24] | You can serve me over easy. | 你可以给我来份”双面奸蛋” |
| [20:26] | And you can serve me sunny-side all up in your bid-ness. | 你可以给我来份”单面奸蛋” |
| [20:33] | Oh. Hey. | 你们好 |
| [20:35] | – Who the hell are you? – No, it-it’s okay, it’s okay. | -你是谁啊 -没事 没事 |
| [20:37] | This is my… | 这是我的 |
| [20:39] | …son. | 儿子 |
| [20:42] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [20:44] | Jimmy Strongman. | 吉米·斯壮曼 |
| [20:46] | It’s Jim, Dad. I’m not a little kid anymore. | 我叫吉姆 爸 我不再是小孩子了 |
| [20:52] | Oh, God. | 老天 |
| [20:53] | What was that? | 怎么了 |
| [20:55] | Squid! | 鱿鱼 |
| [21:00] | My other mom never dressed like that. | 我另一位妈妈从来不这样穿 |