| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Tonight would be a great time | 今晚是个很好的时机 |
| [00:04] | to tell Larry that you’re not Jeff Strongman, | 来告诉拉里你不是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [00:06] | that you’re really Alan Harper. | 你其实是艾伦·哈勃 |
| [00:08] | If you tell Larry who you really are, | 如果你告诉拉里你的真实身份 |
| [00:10] | then he’s gonna wonder why I didn’t tell him. | 他就会问我为什么瞒着他 |
| [00:13] | Will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Alan Harper? | 你愿意嫁给我成为艾伦·哈勃太太吗 |
| [00:17] | Who the hell is Alan Harper? | 艾伦·哈勃是谁啊 |
| [00:19] | Larry! Look! Boobs! | 拉里 你看 奶子 |
| [00:25] | We can go in the other room and you can play with them. | 我们可以进房间 让你好好玩它们哦 |
| [00:28] | Really? In the middle of the day? | 真的吗 大中午就这样好吗 |
| [00:31] | Wait a minute. Who’s Alan Harper? | 等一下 谁是艾伦·哈勃 |
| [00:33] | Uh, I am gonna answer that, but before I do… | 我正要回答 但先等一下 |
| [00:36] | What do you say, Gretchie? | 你觉得如何 格雷琴 |
| [00:38] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
| [00:39] | Yes. | 愿意 |
| [00:41] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [00:45] | You’ve made me the-the happiest man in the world. | 你让我成为世界上最幸福的男人 |
| [00:48] | Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. | 别哭 别哭 |
| [00:51] | A-And for your question, Larry, | 至于你的问题 拉里 |
| [00:53] | I just want to say that everything you’ve known about me | 我只想说 你所知道的关于我的一切 |
| [00:56] | is a lie. | 都是个谎言 |
| [00:57] | My real name is Alan. | 我的真名是艾伦 |
| [00:59] | That’s okay. My real name is Lawrence. | 没关系 我真正的全名是拉伦斯 |
| [01:02] | All right, this is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. | 好吧 这比我想象中还要难解释 |
| [01:05] | Um, uh, Lyndsey is my ex-girlfriend. | 林赛是我的前女友 |
| [01:08] | When you and she got together, I made up a fake name | 当她和你在一起时 我取了个假名 |
| [01:11] | so that I could meet you and stay close to Lyndsey. | 好以新身份出现在你面前 同时又能在林赛身边 |
| [01:13] | But then it turns out I actually like you | 但后来我发现我喜欢你 |
| [01:15] | more than I like Lyndsey. | 多过喜欢林赛 |
| [01:16] | I like you more than Lyndsey, too! | 我喜欢你 也多过喜欢林赛 |
| [01:20] | What the hell is happening here?! | 这算怎么回事啊 |
| [01:23] | So your name’s not really Jeff Strongman, | 所以你的名字不是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [01:26] | it’s Alan Harper, and you used to date Lyndsey? | 而是艾伦·哈勃 你还是林赛的前男友 |
| [01:28] | For four years. | 我们谈了四年 |
| [01:29] | Did you know about this? | 这事你知道吗 |
| [01:33] | Yes. He was my boyfriend. | 知道 他的确是我前男友 |
| [01:35] | But-but I’m with you now, and only you. | 但现在我的男友是你 也只有你 |
| [01:38] | A-And I’m really, really sorry. | 真的非常对不起 |
| [01:39] | Oh, save it, Jeff– if that’s even your real name. | 省省吧 杰夫 如果这是你的真名 |
| [01:42] | I think I made it pretty clear it’s not, but o-okay. | 我刚已经说得很清楚了 但没关系啦 |
| [01:45] | I told Alan that I thought he should tell you the truth, | 是我觉得艾伦应该告诉你真相 |
| [01:47] | because I thought you deserved to know. | 因为你有必要知道 |
| [01:49] | How could you keep this from me? | 你怎么能一直瞒着我呢 |
| [01:51] | I would never lie to you. This is unbelievable! | 我从来不会对你有所隐瞒 这太过分了 |
| [01:53] | I never wanted any of this to happen. | 我也不想发生这种事 |
| [01:55] | Well, it did– and now I’ve lost my two best friends. | 可已经发生了 现在我失去了我的两位好友 |
| [01:58] | And this time I’m not talking about your boobs. | 这次我说的可不是你的奶子 |
| [02:01] | I don’t want to see either one of you again. | 我再也不想看到你们俩 |
| [02:03] | And I’m still not talking about your boobs! | 这次说的也不是你的奶子 |
| [02:06] | The wedding’s off! | 婚礼取消 |
| [02:08] | Larry, wait! | 拉里 等等 |
| [02:09] | Oh, God, see? | 天啊 看见了吗 |
| [02:10] | This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell him. | 所以我才不想告诉他 |
| [02:13] | Now both Lyndsey and Larry hate me, | 现在林赛和拉里都恨我 |
| [02:15] | and I’ve ruined the lives of two wonderful people. | 我毁掉了两个好人的生活 |
| [02:17] | I’ll never forget the look on– ooh, boobs. | 我永远也不会忘记…哇 奶子 |
| [02:34] | Say hello to my little friend. | 快来跟我的新朋友打招呼 |
| [02:37] | What is that? | 那是什么 |
| [02:38] | This is the most advanced | 这是现今世上 |
| [02:40] | robotic artificial intelligence today. | 最先进的机器人人工智能 |
| [02:43] | I call him WALD-E. | 我称他为沃力 |
| [02:44] | Get it? | 懂吗 |
| [02:45] | ‘Cause I’m Walden, | 因为我叫沃顿 |
| [02:47] | and the movie WALL-E? | 有部电影叫《机器人瓦力》 |
| [02:48] | Wald-e? | 所以叫”沃力” |
| [02:50] | Say hello to my friend Jenny. | 跟我朋友珍妮打声招呼 |
| [02:53] | Hello to my friend Jenny. | 你好 我的朋友珍妮 |
| [02:55] | I programmed him to be funny. | 我把他设定成有趣的机器人 |
| [02:58] | I beg to differ. | 我不敢苟同 |
| [02:59] | You’re just jealous ’cause you don’t have | 你只是出于嫉妒 因为你没有 |
| [03:01] | an electronic friend to play with. | 可以跟你玩的电子朋友 |
| [03:02] | Trust me, I have a whole drawer | 相信我 我有一抽屉的 |
| [03:05] | of electronic friends I can play with. | “电动友”可以跟我玩 |
| [03:07] | Then maybe we can have a zero-one-one-way. | 或许我们可以来个011式性爱 |
| [03:11] | That’s a three-way in binary. | 这是二进制中3P的表达方式 |
| [03:14] | Oh, WALD-E, good times ahead. | 沃力 看来你潜力无限啊 |
| [03:19] | Oh. Hey, check out my new robot. | 快来看我的新机器人 |
| [03:21] | I detect no sign of intelligent life. | 我检测不到任何”智能”生命体 |
| [03:25] | I’m not in the mood for this. Can you turn him off? | 我没心情跟他玩 能关掉他吗 |
| [03:27] | Can you turn him off? | 你能把他关掉吗 |
| [03:30] | I wish I could, WALD-E, I wish I could. | 我也希望 沃力 我真的希望 |
| [03:34] | – What’s going on? – Larry just texted me. | -怎么了 -拉里刚发短信给我 |
| [03:36] | He wants to see me. What do you think he wants? | 他想见我 你觉得他想干嘛 |
| [03:39] | Well, given the fact you blew up his entire life, | 鉴于你把他的生活整个搞炸营了 |
| [03:42] | I’m guessing he either wants to kick your ass, | 我猜他要么想踢爆你菊花 |
| [03:44] | or rip your face off so you can watch him kick your ass. | 要么就是把你的脸撕下来 让你看着他踢爆你菊花 |
| [03:48] | Oh, this is all my fault. | 这都是我的错 |
| [03:50] | I should have just been honest | 我不应该欺骗他 |
| [03:51] | and told the truth right from the start– | 我应该一开始就说实话 |
| [03:53] | lying is never the answer. | 撒谎不能解决问题 |
| [03:55] | Ooh, I know, I’ll tell him I’m sick. | 我知道了 我可以告诉他我病了 |
| [03:56] | What’s a trendy illness? | 最近的流行病是什么 |
| [03:58] | Alan, you have to man up | 艾伦 爷们点 |
| [03:59] | and face the consequences of your actions. | 为自己的所作所为负责 |
| [04:02] | Maybe you’re right. | 或许你是对的 |
| [04:03] | I at least owe him that much. | 至少那是我欠他的 |
| [04:05] | I’ll just go and… | 那我就去吧 |
| [04:10] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [04:10] | When people sneeze, they don’t say… | 通常人们打喷嚏时 不会这样 |
| [04:16] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:17] | But when he beats me within an inch of my life, | 但如果他把我打个半死 |
| [04:18] | you’re on bedpan duty. | 你就等着给我端屎端尿吧 |
| [04:20] | Okay, if it makes you feel better, I’ll come with you. | 好吧 如果能让你放心 我陪你去 |
| [04:23] | He only wants to go so when Larry beats you up, | 他想去是因为他想看你被拉里打 |
| [04:26] | he can say, “I told you so.” | 然后他可以说”我早告诉你了” |
| [04:27] | That is not true. | 才不是呢 |
| [04:29] | Even though I repeatedly | 即使我曾不断地 |
| [04:32] | told him to stop lying about who he was, | 告诉他不要再隐瞒自己的真实身份 |
| [04:34] | and deceiving the people around him, | 也不要再欺骗周围的人 |
| [04:36] | and eventually it would blow up in his face, | 否则最后会遭到报应的 |
| [04:38] | I’m not going to say, “I told you so.” | 但我是不会说”我早告诉你了”的 |
| [04:41] | Well, I appreciate that. | 那真是多谢了 |
| [04:42] | I want to film Larry kicking his ass | 我想拍下拉里痛打他的样子 |
| [04:45] | and then say, “I told you so”” | 然后说”我早告诉你了” |
| [04:49] | Hey, Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [04:50] | Oh, hey, hey, Larry! | 你好啊 拉里 |
| [04:57] | I don’t have a weapon. | 我没带武器 |
| [04:59] | Hi. I’m Walden, | 你好 我是沃顿 |
| [05:00] | Alan’s friend. | 艾伦的朋友 |
| [05:01] | Uh, just act like I’m not here, | 就当我不存在 |
| [05:03] | and punch like no one’s watchin’. | 旁若无人地使劲揍他吧 |
| [05:06] | And… action. | 开拍 |
| [05:08] | So, you, uh, you said you wanted to talk? | 你说你想谈谈 |
| [05:10] | No, no, no, louder. | 不不 大声点 |
| [05:12] | I’m sorry. What? | 抱歉 你说什么 |
| [05:13] | Louder. There’s a lot of ambient noise in here. | 大声点 这里很多杂音 |
| [05:16] | So, so, you said you wanted to talk? | 你说你想谈谈吗 |
| [05:18] | Yeah, I actually came here to tell you that I forgive you! | 是啊 我其实是来告诉你我原谅你了 |
| [05:21] | No! Cut! Cut! | 不 停 停 |
| [05:23] | What’s… Wait, wait, you forgive him? | 等等 你原谅了他吗 |
| [05:25] | Yeah, I realized all this anger isn’t good. | 是啊 我发现这种愤怒并不好 |
| [05:26] | I had to let it all go. | 我得放下这种愤怒 |
| [05:28] | No! | 不要啊 |
| [05:30] | He’s not gonna learn his lesson if you forgive him. | 如果你原谅了他 他就没法学到教训了 |
| [05:32] | The only way he’s gonna learn a lesson | 他唯一学到教训的方法 |
| [05:34] | is through pain and suffering | 就是通过痛苦和折磨 |
| [05:36] | and possibly losing a tooth. | 也许还得掉颗牙 |
| [05:38] | No, no. He’s gonna be my brother-in-law | 不 他即将成为我的妹夫 |
| [05:40] | and make an honest woman out of Gretchen. | 让格雷琴成为正直的女人 |
| [05:43] | She’s not gonna be an honest woman on our wedding night. | 我们新婚之夜时 她可不会正直 |
| [05:46] | That’s the guy I know and love who’s banging my sister. | 这才是我认识和喜欢的那个搞我妹的朋友 |
| [05:49] | I do love banging your sister. | 我的确喜欢搞你妹 |
| [05:52] | No, the only banging I want to see is you banging his face! | 我唯一想看的搞头 就是你冲着他的脸来一发 |
| [05:56] | Oh, that didn’t come out right. | 这话说出来怪怪的 |
| [05:59] | Gretchen is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. | 格雷琴是我见过的最棒的女人 |
| [06:02] | I-I just have to scrape together enough money for the wedding. | 我得东拼西凑去筹婚礼钱 |
| [06:04] | Oh, I know what you mean– mine and Lyndsey’s | 我知道你的意思 我和林赛的婚礼 |
| [06:06] | was costing me a fortune. | 花了我一大笔钱 |
| [06:07] | I already paid for the flowers, the cake, the tux. | 我已经付了鲜花 蛋糕和西服的钱 |
| [06:10] | Too bad you can’t just take his wedding. | 真可惜你没法借用他的婚礼 |
| [06:13] | Or can I? | 是吗 |
| [06:15] | I was kidding. | 我开玩笑啦 |
| [06:16] | Well, why not? I mean, this cup says “Peter” On it, | 为什么不呢 这个杯子上有”彼得” |
| [06:19] | but Peter wasn’t there to get it. | 但是喝着饮料的不是彼得 |
| [06:23] | I’m not gonna use it. Me and Lyndsey are through, | 我用不上了 我和林赛玩完了 |
| [06:25] | so you might as well. | 不如送你 |
| [06:26] | You can’t mooch a wedding that you just destroyed. | 你可不能毁了人婚礼 还占人便宜啊 |
| [06:30] | I know. How great is that? | 我知道啊 这真是太棒了 |
| [06:32] | Classic Alan Harper. | 典型的艾伦·哈勃作风 |
| [06:34] | Jeff Strongman. | 杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [06:36] | I don’t know how I didn’t see through it sooner. | 我不明白我为什么没有早点看穿 |
| [06:38] | It’s such an obviously made-up name. | 这显然是个瞎编的名字 |
| [06:40] | – Yeah. – Jeff. | -是啊 -杰夫 |
| [06:46] | Mom, this is my fiancee, Gretchen Martin. | 妈妈 这是我的未婚妻格雷琴·马丁 |
| [06:50] | It is so nice to finally meet you, Evelyn. | 终于见到你真好 伊芙琳 |
| [06:53] | Oh, you, too, dear. | 我也是 亲爱的 |
| [06:54] | – How far along are you? – What? | -你怀孕多久了 -什么 |
| [06:57] | Uh, my mother assumes that since you agreed to marry me, | 我妈妈想着既然你同意嫁给我 |
| [06:59] | you must be pregnant. | 你一定是怀孕了 |
| [07:01] | No, I’m not pregnant. | 不 你没怀孕 |
| [07:02] | – Are you after my money? – Of course not. | -你想要我的钱吗 -当然不是 |
| [07:04] | Estas buscando trabajo en el mundo nuevo? | 你是不是在找新工作[西语] |
| [07:08] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:09] | Not looking for a green card, either. | 你也不是为了绿卡 |
| [07:12] | – You must genuinely like Alan. – Yeah. | -你一定是真的爱艾伦 -是啊 |
| [07:14] | This is uncharted territory for me. | 这对我来说是未知领域 |
| [07:17] | I know. She actually loves me for me. | 就是啊 她爱的是我这个人 |
| [07:19] | I mean, I had to pretend to be another person | 我是说 我得假装成另一个人 |
| [07:21] | to make it all happen, but still. | 才能让她爱上我 但这还是太神奇 |
| [07:23] | Oh, that is some ring you bought her. | 你给她买的戒指不错啊 |
| [07:25] | Oh, actually, that’s the ring my ex-husband got me. | 其实这戒指是我前夫送我的 |
| [07:28] | But I still had it– | 但还在我手上 |
| [07:28] | I figured why make Alan buy another one? | 所以就不用再让艾伦买了 |
| [07:32] | My God, you’ve found your soul mate. | 天啊 你找到了你的灵魂伴侣 |
| [07:34] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [07:34] | Our honeymoon is at her cousin’s time-share. | 我们的蜜月是在她表哥分时享用的度假屋 |
| [07:37] | He can’t use it, ’cause he had a heart attack. | 他不能去 因为他心脏病发作了 |
| [07:39] | We’re so blessed. | 我们真是饱受祝福啊 |
| [07:41] | Speaking of blessings, | 说到祝福 |
| [07:43] | I just want to thank you for raising such a caring, | 我想谢谢你抚养了一个如此关怀备至 |
| [07:45] | thoughtful, intelligent son. | 体贴周到 聪明伶俐的儿子 |
| [07:50] | Oh, you’re serious. | 你不是讽刺啊 |
| [07:53] | So, when’s the big day? | 你们什么时候举办婚礼 |
| [07:55] | Oh, uh, it’s next Saturday. | 下个星期六 |
| [07:57] | We’re just gonna have a small affair here at the house. | 我们在家里举办一场小型婚礼 |
| [07:59] | We’re trying to keep costs down. | 我们要节约开支 |
| [08:01] | Are your parents coming? | 你父母来吗 |
| [08:02] | Oh, no, my parents have passed away. | 不 我父母去世了 |
| [08:04] | Again, we’re so blessed. | 再说一次 我们真是饱受祝福啊 |
| [08:08] | So, where are you planning on living after you marry? | 你们结婚后打算住在哪里 |
| [08:11] | Oh, we’re not in a rush to go anywhere. | 我们不急着找地方住 |
| [08:12] | I mean, beach house, no rent… | 海滨别墅 没房租 |
| [08:16] | Don’t be ridiculous– you need your own place. | 别傻了 你们需要自己的家 |
| [08:18] | Well, that’s easier said than done, Mom. | 说着容易办起来难 妈妈 |
| [08:21] | How about for your wedding if I give you a down payment | 不如我帮你们的家付首付吧 |
| [08:23] | – towards your own… – Oh, I love you, Mom! | -作为礼物 -我爱你 妈妈 |
| [08:28] | I won’t go that far, but thank you. | 我不会那么激动 但是谢谢 |
| [08:38] | Walden. | 沃顿 |
| [08:39] | Oh, don’t worry, Alan’s not with me. | 别担心 艾伦没和我在一起 |
| [08:41] | Wow, it’s amazing how infrequently I actually get to say that. | 我真是时不时就要说这句话啊 |
| [08:45] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [08:47] | I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. | 我想来看看你有没有事 |
| [08:49] | That’s sweet, but I’m fine. | 你真好 但我没事 |
| [08:51] | When I get dumped, I usually end up sobbing in a bathtub, | 我被甩后 总是在浴缸里哭泣 |
| [08:54] | listening to Michael Buble. | 听着麦可布雷的情歌 |
| [08:56] | I call it my “Buble bath.” | 我称其为我的布雷洗浴 |
| [08:59] | – You sure you’re all right? – Yeah. | -你确定你没事吗 -是啊 |
| [09:01] | I was about to marry Larry, | 我即将要嫁给拉里 |
| [09:03] | a guy who once called venetian blind cleaners | 他有次叫来了软百叶帘清洁工[威尼斯瞎子] |
| [09:05] | because he wanted to help handicapped Italians. | 因为他想帮助残疾的意大利人 |
| [09:08] | Look, if Alan and Gretchen are supposed to be together, | 如果艾伦和格雷琴注定在一起 |
| [09:10] | I wish them the best. | 我祝他们幸福 |
| [09:12] | If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. | 如果你需要什么 就立马给我打电话 |
| [09:15] | – Thanks. – Okay. | -谢谢 -好 |
| [09:23] | Siri, remind me to draw a Buble bath tonight. | Siri 记得提醒我今晚进行布雷洗浴 |
| [09:31] | Mm, what’s that, Larry? | 什么 拉里 |
| [09:33] | You forgive me and you still want to marry me? | 你原谅了我 还想娶我吗 |
| [09:37] | Oh, Alan… | 艾伦 |
| [09:38] | you never stopped loving me and you want to marry me, too? | 你一直爱着我 也想娶我吗 |
| [09:43] | I am the luckiest woman in the world. | 我真是世界上最幸运的女人 |
| [10:07] | Everybody, freeze. | 大家都不许动 |
| [10:09] | What the hell? | 搞什么 |
| [10:10] | Berta, I know where you hide your pot. | 波塔 我知道你把大麻藏哪儿了 |
| [10:15] | Wald-E! | 沃力 |
| [10:17] | No…! | 不要啊 |
| [10:18] | Now, that’s how you deal with a DEA drone. | 你就该这样对付缉毒局的无人机 |
| [10:21] | No! | 不 |
| [10:23] | It’s my robot! | 这是我的机器人 |
| [10:25] | I was playing a joke. | 我刚才是在开玩笑呢 |
| [10:28] | It was funny. | 真好笑 |
| [10:33] | Don’t worry, little ro-buddy. | 别担心 机器人小弟 |
| [10:35] | We’ll get you on life support. | 我这就给你接上生命维持系统 |
| [10:37] | Or tech support. | 应该说是技术支持系统 |
| [10:39] | Oh, he would’ve loved that joke. | 他肯定会爱死这个笑话的 |
| [10:41] | I lost the head of one of my toys once. | 我的玩具也掉过”头” |
| [10:44] | Of course, I had to go to the emergency room to get it out. | 我得去急诊室把它挖出来 |
| [10:49] | Um, listen, I know this may not be an opportune moment, | 我知道现在时机不好 |
| [10:51] | but, um, I was wondering, | 但我想问问 |
| [10:54] | would you do me the honor of… | 你愿不愿意 |
| [10:56] | being my best man? | 做我的伴郎 |
| [10:58] | Of course. I would have been hurt if you didn’t ask. | 当然愿意 你要不这么问我我才伤心呢 |
| [11:00] | Oh, thanks, thanks. Great, man. | 太好了 谢了 |
| [11:02] | Uh, oh, and better get your speech ready | 快准备一下祝福语吧 |
| [11:03] | for the rehearsal dinner. | 今晚要彩排 |
| [11:04] | I’m taking everybody to Souplantation. | 我要请大家去吃烤串儿 |
| [11:06] | Fingers crossed we all end up at the same table. | 希望咱们能拼到一桌上 |
| [11:08] | Come on, come on, come on. We… | 拜托 别这样 |
| [11:09] | we got to go someplace fancier. | 我们得去好点的地方吧 |
| [11:11] | Well, I would love to, but I can’t affo… | 我也想啊 但我付不起… |
| [11:12] | I’ll pay for it. | 我出钱 |
| [11:13] | Great. We’ve got reservations 7:30 at La Dolce. | 太好了 我们在高档旋转餐厅预约了七点半的位 |
| [11:21] | I would like to make a toast to the bride and groom. | 我想给新郎新娘祝酒 |
| [11:24] | Um, I don’t look at this | 与其说你们结婚 |
| [11:27] | as losing a friend | 是失去了一位朋友 |
| [11:29] | so much as gaining a guest room. | 不如说是收回了客房 |
| [11:33] | I don’t see this as losing a friend either. | 我也不认为是失去了一位朋友 |
| [11:38] | Anyway, uh, to the happy couple. | 不管怎样 敬这对新人 |
| [11:40] | Uh, Alan, | 艾伦 |
| [11:41] | you’re like a brother to me. | 你就像我哥哥 |
| [11:43] | And, Gretchen, you… | 格雷琴 你 |
| [11:46] | have a smile that lights up those around you | 有着能感染周围人的灿烂笑容 |
| [11:50] | and a heart big enough to let them all in. | 以及包容一切的广阔胸怀 |
| [11:53] | So… | 那么 |
| [11:54] | cheers. | 干杯 |
| [11:56] | That was so sweet. | 这话说得真好 |
| [11:58] | Is he gay? | 他是不是基佬啊 |
| [11:59] | If he was, you think I’d be with you right now? | 他要是基佬 我现在还会跟你结婚吗 |
| [12:07] | Um, occupied. | 有人了 |
| [12:10] | Ocupado. | 有人[西语] |
| [12:14] | S-Sprechen Sie poopin. | 有人在拉屎[德语] |
| [12:18] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [12:20] | Lyndsey?! | 林赛 |
| [12:21] | I need to talk to you. | 我要跟你谈谈 |
| [12:22] | You scared the crap out of me. Literally. | 你真的把我吓”屎”了 |
| [12:25] | This’ll just take a sec. | 很快就好 |
| [12:26] | Wh-What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [12:27] | My whole family’s here in the restaurant. | 我一家人都在餐厅等我呢 |
| [12:29] | I’m here to say yes. | 我是来答应你的 |
| [12:32] | To what? | 答应我什么 |
| [12:34] | Your proposal. | 你的求婚啊 |
| [12:35] | I want to be your wife. | 我想成为你的妻子 |
| [12:37] | I am yours forever and ever and ever. | 跟你永结同心 白头偕老 |
| [12:40] | I am crazy for you. | 我为你着了魔 |
| [12:43] | Oh, I don’t doubt that. | 看得出来 |
| [12:45] | You know you still want me. | 你依然想要我的 |
| [12:47] | Fate has brought us here together. | 命运将我们一起带来这里 |
| [12:49] | Uh, actually, my lactose intolerance | 其实是我的乳糖不耐症 |
| [12:51] | has brought us here together. | 把我们带来这里的 |
| [12:53] | Whatever. It was meant to be. | 随便了 这是天意 |
| [12:55] | Um, Lyndsey, Lyndsey, | 林赛 林赛 |
| [12:57] | a-as romantic as this moment is, | 虽然此刻浪漫无比 |
| [13:00] | um, uh, I-I’m in love with Gretchen. | 但我已经爱上格雷琴了 |
| [13:05] | What happened to me? | 我是怎么回事 |
| [13:08] | I was the prize. | 我本是头奖 |
| [13:10] | Men were fighting over me. | 男人为争我大打出手 |
| [13:13] | Am I not hot anymore? | 我是不再性感了吗 |
| [13:19] | Oh, I’m gonna need that. | 这个我等下要用 |
| [13:25] | Here. | 给你 |
| [13:26] | They’re sanitized for your protection. | 为保护你的健康 它们已经消过毒了 |
| [13:31] | Look, I-I still care about you and… | 我依旧很在乎你… |
| [13:33] | Oh, stop it. | 别说了 |
| [13:35] | I don’t want your pity. | 我不要你的同情 |
| [13:37] | I’m gonna get out of here while I still have my dignity. | 我要趁还没自尊扫地之前离开这里 |
| [13:47] | Oh, great. | 这下可好 |
| [13:48] | Now everyone at the table’s gonna know I was pooping. | 外面的人都知道我是在拉屎了 |
| [13:55] | Hey, Alan, | 艾伦 |
| [13:56] | I have a little surprise for your big day. | 在你的大日子 我有份礼物要送你 |
| [13:59] | Oh! Cash or check? | 现金还是支票 |
| [14:01] | I brought Jake to the wedding. | 我带杰克来观礼了 |
| [14:03] | My son. Yes. Yes. | 我儿子 是啊 |
| [14:05] | Yes, that’s-that’s way better than cash. | 这可比现金好多了 |
| [14:08] | Um, uh, where is he? | 他在哪呢 |
| [14:11] | Hi, Dad. | 老爸 |
| [14:13] | Pull my finger. | 拉我的手指 |
| [14:19] | Classic Robot Jake. | 经典的机器人杰克 |
| [14:22] | Alan, can I see you a second? | 艾伦 能跟你谈谈吗 |
| [14:23] | Oh, did you see Jake came to the wedding? | 你看到杰克来观礼了吗 |
| [14:25] | Sure, of course. Hello, Jake. | 当然 你好啊 杰克 |
| [14:34] | Hey, Larry. | 拉里 |
| [14:37] | You’re looking… pretty pensive. | 你看起来 很忧郁啊[音似昂贵] |
| [14:40] | Oh, thanks, it’s a rental. | 谢了 这套西服是租的 |
| [14:43] | You look pretty pensive, too. | 你看起来也是 |
| [14:46] | Actually… | 事实上… |
| [14:49] | Thank you. | 多谢夸奖 |
| [14:51] | Uh, hey, I just wanted to say that it’s, um…. | 我就想跟你说 |
| [14:54] | it’s pretty big of you to forgive Alan the way you did. | 你原谅艾伦的所作所为真的很大度 |
| [14:58] | I mean, after hearing that he was still sleeping with Lyndsey | 你听说了在你和林赛约会时 |
| [15:01] | when you two were dating… | 他俩还在上床 |
| [15:04] | is apparently something you’re hearing | 显然这是你 |
| [15:06] | for the first time right now. | 第一次听说这事 |
| [15:08] | Are you freakin’ kidding me? They were cheating?! | 你他妈在逗我呢 他俩当时有一腿 |
| [15:10] | I’ll kill him! | 我要杀了他 |
| [15:11] | Larry, Larry, | 拉里 拉里 |
| [15:13] | – I’m sorry. – For what? | -我很抱歉 -为什么 |
| [15:15] | This. | 为这个 |
| [15:21] | Okay, let’s get this show on the road! | 好了 赶紧开始婚礼吧 |
| [15:23] | What-What’s the rush? | 急什么啊 |
| [15:25] | Oh, uh, I accidentally told Larry | 我不小心告诉拉里 |
| [15:27] | that you and Lyndsey were cheating on him, | 你当时背着他跟林赛有一腿了 |
| [15:29] | so he wanted to kill you so I pushed him off the deck. | 他想杀了你 我就把他推下阳台了 |
| [15:32] | Let’s go! Showtime! Chop, chop! Come on! | 赶紧的 开始吧 快快快 |
| [15:40] | Wow, so pensive. | 真”洋气” |
| [15:44] | Where’s my brother? | 我哥呢 |
| [15:48] | Uh, he was overcome with emotion. | 他激动的心情难以抑制 |
| [15:51] | So he hit the beach. | 所以就跳下沙滩了 |
| [15:54] | Uh, but don’t worry. I’m filming it. | 别担心 我录着呢 |
| [15:55] | Oh, by the way, if you trip on your dress | 顺便一说 要是你被裙角绊倒 |
| [15:58] | and accidentally flash us, just go with it. | 不小心走光了 直接过去就好了 |
| [16:02] | A-All right, honey, you look beautiful, | 好了 亲爱的 你看起来真美 |
| [16:04] | but let’s move it along, please. | 但快点开始吧 |
| [16:07] | Uh, Jenny, hit it. | 珍妮 开始吧 |
| [16:09] | “Daughters, mothers, sisters, we gather here, | 女儿们 母亲们 姐妹们 今天我们齐聚一堂 |
| [16:12] | safe from the patriarchy and the oppression of its penises…” | 远离父权制以及阳物的迫害 |
| [16:16] | Oh, I really should’ve revised this | 我应该在主持非蕾丝婚礼前 |
| [16:17] | before doing a straight wedding. | 修改一下内容 |
| [16:19] | Um, wh-why don’t we, uh, skip to the vows that you guys wrote? | 不如直接念你们写的婚誓吧 |
| [16:22] | All right. Um… | 好的 |
| [16:24] | I, Gretchen, do swear to honor and cherish you. | 我 格雷琴 发誓尊重珍惜你 |
| [16:29] | You asked me to go down the road of life with you, | 你请我与你在人生路上同行下去 |
| [16:32] | and I am answering. | 我现在回答 |
| [16:34] | I will go down. | 我会下去[口交] |
| [16:36] | That’s what she said. | 那妹子是这么说的 |
| [16:39] | And I, Alan, do swear to honor, | 我 艾伦 发誓尊重 |
| [16:42] | cherish and stand behind you | 珍惜支持你 |
| [16:44] | whether things are easy | 无论是顺境 |
| [16:45] | or things are hard. | 还是逆境[硬] |
| [16:47] | That’s what he said. | 那汉子也这样说过 |
| [16:50] | Alan, do you take Gretchen to be your… | 艾伦 你愿意接受格雷琴为你的… |
| [16:52] | I object! | 我反对 |
| [16:55] | Lyndsey? | 林赛 |
| [16:59] | Lyndsey, Lyndsey, you can’t be here. | 林赛 你不能来这里 |
| [17:00] | Aren’t I a pretty, pretty bride, Alan? | 我是不是美丽的新娘 艾伦 |
| [17:03] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [17:04] | You look insanely beautiful. | 你看起来美”疯”了 |
| [17:06] | Uh, now let’s turn you around | 现在转身 |
| [17:08] | and get you in a cab. How ’bout… | 去坐计程车回家吧 |
| [17:09] | No! | 不 |
| [17:12] | This was supposed to be my day! | 今天应该是我的大喜之日 |
| [17:14] | My wedding! | 我的婚礼 |
| [17:16] | My groom! | 我的新郎 |
| [17:17] | My f… Wait. | 我的… 慢着 |
| [17:20] | Those are my flowers. | 这些是我的花 |
| [17:23] | That’s my food! | 我的食物 |
| [17:27] | Those are my linens. | 这是我的桌布 |
| [17:29] | That’s my… | 这是我的 |
| [17:33] | I think she was gonna say “cake”! | 我想她要说的是”蛋糕” |
| [17:40] | I always liked her. | 我一直挺喜欢她的 |
| [17:43] | So, uh… so where were we? | 我们的仪式到哪里了 |
| [17:45] | Gretchen? | 格雷琴 |
| [17:47] | Derek? | 德里克 |
| [17:48] | Who’s this guy? | 这家伙是谁 |
| [17:49] | He’s my ex-husband. | 我前夫 |
| [17:51] | Oh, come on! | 好狗血啊 |
| [17:54] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么来了 |
| [17:56] | Some crazy lady called and said you were getting married. | 一个疯女人打电话来说你要结婚 |
| [18:00] | Well, actually, | 其实 |
| [18:00] | what she said was, | 她说的是 |
| [18:02] | “Gretchen, pretty, pretty brid” | 格雷琴 漂亮漂亮新亮 |
| [18:04] | followed by two minutes of intense vomiting. | 接着是两分钟剧烈呕吐 |
| [18:07] | Pretty sure that was her. | 相当肯定是她 |
| [18:09] | Boo-ya! | 是滴 |
| [18:11] | Gretchen, I know I made some horrible mistakes. | 格雷琴 我知道我犯了可怕的错误 |
| [18:13] | I drank too much, I wrecked your truck, | 我酗酒 撞了你的车 |
| [18:15] | I cheated on you with your best friend. | 我背着你和你最好的朋友偷情 |
| [18:17] | In your truck. While I was drunk. | 还是在你车里 我当时醉了 |
| [18:19] | Which is why I wrecked it. | 所以我才把车撞了 |
| [18:21] | Lose your dog and you got a country song. | 再失去一只狗 一首乡村歌曲就出来了 |
| [18:23] | I wouldn’t know. I’m more into hip-hop. | 不知道 我更喜欢嘻哈音乐 |
| [18:26] | I miss you, baby. I want you back. | 我想你 宝贝 我要追回你 |
| [18:28] | Hey, Derek, | 德里克 |
| [18:29] | if you want her back, | 如果你要追回她 |
| [18:30] | you’re gonna have to go through me. | 你得先放倒我 |
| [18:32] | Fine by me. | 我没意见 |
| [18:33] | And him. | 还有他 |
| [18:35] | Look, seeing you in that white dress | 我等下要痛扁两个傻逼 |
| [18:37] | right before I beat up two goobers reminds me of our wedding. | 但刚才看到你一身白纱 让我想起我们的婚礼 |
| [18:41] | But this time the cake’s not in the shape of Dale Jr., | 但这次蛋糕不是戴尔二世的造型[名赛车手] |
| [18:43] | which is a huge oversight. | 真是婚礼的败笔 |
| [18:48] | Derek… | 德里克 |
| [18:49] | You’re not actually considering this, are you? | 你不会真的要考虑一下吧 |
| [18:51] | I don’t know. I’m so confused. | 我不知道 我好困惑 |
| [18:52] | I mean, Derek and I have so much history together. | 德里克和我有那么多的过去 |
| [18:55] | This is really hard. | 要我决定太难了[硬] |
| [18:57] | That’s what she said. | 那妹子是这么说的 |
| [19:00] | That’s what they say. | 他们就是这样说的 |
| [19:03] | I’m sorry, Alan. I-I at least have to talk to him. | 对不起 艾伦 我至少得先和他谈谈 |
| [19:08] | Gretchen, wait! | 格雷琴 等等 |
| [19:09] | It’s times like this a son needs his mother. | 貌似到了儿子需要母亲的时候 |
| [19:12] | I’m gonna slip out the back. | 我从后门溜了 |
| [19:14] | Serves you right, you bastard. | 整你没商量 你这个混蛋 |
| [19:18] | I mean, I love you. | 我是说 我爱你 |
| [19:19] | Let’s work this out. | 我们会有办法的 |
| [19:23] | Best wedding ever! | 史上最棒的婚礼 |
| [19:25] | Yep! And I got the whole thing on… | 没错 整个过程我… |
| [19:28] | Aw, crap, I had it on photo. | 妈的 我点的是拍照模式 |
| [19:41] | How you doing? | 你还好吗 |
| [19:43] | I’ve had better days. | 什么大风大浪没见过 |
| [19:45] | Hey, I’m sorry, buddy. | 太遗憾了 兄弟 |
| [19:48] | Later, I’ll run you a Buble bath. | 等下 我帮你准备布雷洗浴 |
| [19:52] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [19:53] | Gretchen called. | 格雷琴打电话了 |
| [19:55] | She said it’s not over. | 她说我们并没有结束 |
| [19:56] | She’s just sorting things out. | 她只是需要时间整理一下 |
| [19:59] | Oh, buddy. | 哥们 |
| [20:01] | “Sorting things out” is just people’s way | 整理一下 是人们不想直接说 |
| [20:04] | of not giving you bad news. | 坏消息的委婉说法 |
| [20:08] | So I take it your… | 我想你的 |
| [20:10] | mom’s not gonna give you the money for your own place? | 妈妈不会给钱你买房子了 |
| [20:15] | I’m just sorting things out. | 我只是需要整理一下 |
| [20:19] | You know what? | 算了 |
| [20:21] | I didn’t really want you to leave anyway. | 反正我也不想让你离开 |
| [20:23] | Aw. Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [20:26] | Can you believe it? | 你能相信吗 |
| [20:29] | We’re still together, three years later. | 我们还在一起 都三年了 |
| [20:31] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:33] | I thought for sure it was over when Charlie died. | 查理死的时候 我确信自己的好日子结束了 |
| [20:37] | Thank God I showed up. | 谢天谢地我出现了 |
| [20:42] | You’re telling me. | 那可不是 |
| [20:44] | I… You know, I’ve been so busy lately. | 我最近太忙了 |
| [20:46] | I-I really miss hanging out with you. | 我真的想念我们混在一起的时光 |
| [20:47] | Yeah. Me, too. You know, we should pick a night | 我也是 我们应该选一晚 |
| [20:50] | where we just always get together. | 我们一直这样在一起 |
| [20:52] | No matter what’s going on, once a week, we just do this. | 无论发生什么事 一周一次 我们这样在一起 |
| [20:56] | Okay, I like it. I like it. | 我喜欢 我喜欢这样 |
| [20:57] | How ’bout, uh, here every Thursday night? | 每周四晚上这里如何 |
| [21:00] | 9:00. | 九点 |
| [21:01] | It’s a date. | 约好了 |
| [21:02] | Uh, don’t call it a date. | 别管这叫约会 |
| [21:03] | Just call it… two men hanging out. | 就叫做 两个好汉夜 |
| [21:07] | Hey. What about me? | 喂 那我呢 |
| [21:10] | Okay, fine. Two and a half men. | 好吧 好汉两个半 |