时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | Hey, Louis, check it out. | 路易斯 你看 |
[00:05] | This app will help you learn how to speak Mandarin Chinese. | 这个软件可以教你怎么说普通话哦 |
[00:08] | Are you sending me to China? | 你要把我送去中国吗 |
[00:10] | No, I’d never do that. | 我怎么可能会这么做呢 |
[00:12] | He sent his kid to Japan. | 他就把他孩子送去了日本 |
[00:15] | Oh, no, no. | 不是不是 |
[00:16] | The-the Army sent him to Japan. | 是部队把他送去日本 |
[00:17] | You’re sending me to the Army? | 你要把我送进部队吗 |
[00:19] | No, no, n-no. | 没有 没有 |
[00:20] | We’re not sending you anywhere. | 我们没有要把你送走 |
[00:22] | We-we just want to help you learn. | 只是想你多学习 |
[00:24] | So, check it out. | 你看啊 |
[00:25] | You can type in any phrase, | 你可以打进任何词 |
[00:27] | and the app will say it for you. | 软件就会念出来给你听哦 |
[00:34] | Ooh, what’d she say? | 她在说什么 |
[00:35] | She sounds pretty. | 听起来好性感 |
[00:36] | She said, “Alan, your fly is open.” | 她说 “艾伦 你的拉链开了” |
[00:39] | Uh, well, how do you tell her, “Thank you”? | 那怎么跟她说”谢谢” |
[00:41] | Uh, let’s find out. | 来试试 |
[00:44] | Xiexie. | 谢谢 |
[00:47] | That’s gonna blow their minds down at the Panda Express. | 中餐快餐店的员工一定会吓死 |
[00:49] | Extra orange chicken, xiexie. | 加一份橘子鸡肉 谢谢 |
[00:54] | Walden, I-I’m Chinese Elvis. | 沃顿 我是中国版猫王 |
[00:55] | Xiexie. Xiexie, very much. | 谢谢 谢谢 谢谢各位[猫王腔调] |
[00:58] | All right. | 好了 |
[00:59] | Let’s put on these headphones, | 来戴上耳机 |
[01:00] | and we’ll learn a little Chinese, huh? | 我们来学点中文吧 |
[01:04] | So, um, listen, g-going forward, | 问你啊 接下来 |
[01:07] | um, how are we gonna do this whole co-parenting thing? | 我们这共同养育的事情是要怎么处理 |
[01:09] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
[01:11] | Well, when you were gonna adopt a baby, | 我们一开始说领养一个小孩时 |
[01:12] | we were gonna get a divorce right after. | 本来是打算拿到孩子就离婚 |
[01:14] | But now, if we become Louis’s foster parents, | 可是现在我们要变成路易斯的养父母 |
[01:17] | we’re gonna have to be together for a minimum of six months. | 我们得继续在一起最少六个月 |
[01:19] | Uh, not that I’m complaining. | 我不是在抱怨 |
[01:20] | This is the happiest and most loving of | 这是我三段婚姻里 |
[01:22] | any of my three marriages. | 最开心有爱的一段了 |
[01:24] | I’m thinking it would just be the opposite of when Jake was here. | 我们大概就跟杰克在时差不多 不过角色对调一下 |
[01:27] | You were the dad, and I occasionally imparted wisdom, | 当时你是爸爸 我偶尔指点他一二 |
[01:29] | like… the skull and crossbones on a bottle | 比如告诉他 在厨房洗手台下 |
[01:32] | underneath the sink doesn’t mean that it’s pirate juice. | 有骷髅头跟交叉骨头的瓶子不是海盗果汁 |
[01:35] | Okay, well, uh, uh, | 好吧 行 行 |
[01:37] | then I will follow your lead with Louis. | 那教导路易斯的事 我全听你指挥 |
[01:39] | I will be the second in command, the-the copilot, | 我就当你副手 副机长 |
[01:42] | the, uh, the, uh, the lieutenant, if you will. | 你喜欢的话 我还可以是”路”[易斯]副队长 |
[01:45] | I won’t. | 不必 |
[01:48] | This is hard. | 这好难哦 |
[01:49] | Oh, all right, let me help you out here. | 来 我来帮帮你 |
[01:51] | Type in a phrase. | 输入一个词 |
[01:53] | Anything you want to say. | 任何你想说的都行 |
[01:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[01:57] | “I… want to quit.” | “我… 不想学了” |
[02:02] | Okay, uh… | 好吧 |
[02:08] | Uh, excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
[02:10] | If you’re trying to say, “I want to quit,” | 如果你是想要说”我想要退出” |
[02:11] | it’s pronounced… | 你应该说 |
[02:14] | What you asked for is a lap dance. | 而你刚才说的是我想要个大腿舞 |
[02:18] | Oh, my God, I’m sorry. | 天啊 真抱歉 |
[02:19] | It’s okay, I wasn’t offended. | 没事 我不介意 |
[02:21] | Oh, well, in that case… | 那如果是这样的话… |
[02:27] | I’m Jean. | 我叫珍 |
[02:28] | I’m Walden. | 我叫沃顿 |
[02:30] | Oh, and, uh, this is Louis and Alan. | 他们是路易斯与艾伦 |
[02:32] | – Hi. – Nice to meet you. | -你好 -幸会 |
[02:34] | So, you’re teaching Louis Mandarin? | 你在教路易斯普通话吗 |
[02:36] | Well, I bought him, uh, an app for 99 cents, | 我给他买了个九毛九的软件 |
[02:39] | so, yeah, I’m teaching him. | 所以 是的 我在教他 |
[02:43] | Well, I speak fluent Mandarin, so if you need any help | 我普通话说得很溜 如果有需要帮忙 |
[02:48] | with anything… | 任何事情都行 |
[02:51] | give me a call. | 记得打给我 |
[02:53] | Ah, well, I could always use a helping hand. | 我随时都欢迎有人”帮手” |
[03:06] | Nice meeting you. | 很高兴认识你 |
[03:10] | What happened? | 怎么回事 |
[03:11] | What did you say? | 你说什么了 |
[03:13] | He said, “They’re married.” | 他说”他们结婚了” |
[03:16] | And if he hadn’t, I was about to. | 如果他不说 我都准备要说了 |
[03:33] | How’s it going out there? | 情况怎么样了 |
[03:35] | I don’t know. I’m trying to read their lips. | 不知道 我在试着读他们的唇 |
[03:36] | He either said, “I really like it here,” | 他不是说”我真的喜欢这里” |
[03:38] | or “I’d really like a beer.” | 就是说了”我真的很想喝啤酒” |
[03:41] | I-I’m sure he’s saying good things. | 我确定他是在说我们好话 |
[03:43] | You know, how-how you’re teaching him Chinese, | 说你想教他学中文 |
[03:45] | how I’m teaching him environmental awareness. | 或我教他要有环境保护意识 |
[03:47] | You taught him to pee in the shower to save water. | 你教他洗澡的时候顺便尿尿能省水 |
[03:51] | And you know what our Mother Earth says to that? | 你知道地球母亲会对这事说什么吗 |
[03:53] | Xiexie. | 谢谢 |
[03:57] | I got to tell you, I’ve already grown attached to this kid. | 我不得不说 我已经离不开这孩子了 |
[04:00] | And if she does try to take him away, | 如果她想把这孩子带走 |
[04:02] | I know a guy who can get him back. | 我有认识人可以把他抢回来 |
[04:04] | You’re kidding, right? | 你是在开玩笑对吧 |
[04:05] | Right, kidding. | 是啊 开玩笑 |
[04:08] | But if I find an envelope in my car with, say, two grand in it, | 但如果有天我在我车里突然多了两千块 |
[04:12] | I have no way of knowing where it came from. | 我也绝对不知道是从哪冒出来的 |
[04:16] | Can I talk to you guys for a second? | 我能跟你们聊两句吗 |
[04:17] | Uh, yeah, sure. | 当然 没问题 |
[04:19] | Uh, Berta, could you watch Louis? | 波塔 你能看一下路易斯吗 |
[04:20] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
[04:22] | We’ll be in the car with the engine running. | 我们会坐在发动好的车里等你们消息 |
[04:24] | No reason. | 没特别原因哦 |
[04:26] | So, I talked to Louis about his weekend here. | 我跟路易斯聊了聊他这个周末过得如何 |
[04:30] | Uh, did he answer you in English or Mandarin? | 他是用英文还是用普通话回你的 |
[04:32] | English. | 英文 |
[04:33] | Though I’m very impressed you’re teaching him Chinese. | 不过我觉得你教他中文这事很棒 |
[04:36] | And to pee in the shower. | 以及边洗澡边尿尿 |
[04:39] | That’s mine. | 那是我教的 |
[04:40] | I’m also teaching him to dance like no one is watching. | 我也教导他勇敢跳舞 像没别人看着他一样 |
[04:45] | Well, he seems to have settled in nicely. | 感觉他挺适应这里的 |
[04:48] | He feels very happy and safe with you guys, | 他跟你们在一起很开心也很安心 |
[04:50] | so I see no reason why I shouldn’t approve you | 所以我也想不到任何理由 |
[04:53] | to be Louis’s foster parents. | 不批准你们成为路易斯养父母 |
[04:54] | – Really? – Are you serious? | -真的吗 -你是说认真的吗 |
[04:55] | I rarely lie about these things. | 我不太在这种事上说谎的 |
[04:57] | I did it once, and it did not go well. | 我试过一次 下场很不好 |
[05:00] | This-this is great! | 这真是太好了 |
[05:01] | I-I know. I-I’ve never been approved for anything, ever. | 对啊 我这辈子啥都没被批准过 |
[05:05] | Bite me, Discover Card. | 现在你傻了吧 发现信用卡 |
[05:07] | – Congratulations! – Thank you! | -恭喜你 -谢谢 |
[05:08] | This is my favorite part of the job. | 这是我工作中最好的一部分 |
[05:10] | Well, that and doughnut Friday. | 还有周五的甜甜圈日 |
[05:12] | Oh, God, my life is empty. | 我的人生真是空虚 |
[05:15] | Oh, wait, d-does Louis know? | 等等 路易斯知道这事吗 |
[05:16] | No, he thinks I’m happy. | 不 他以为我开心着呢 |
[05:20] | Oh, you mean about him here. | 哦 你是说他能留在这里的事 |
[05:23] | Uh, no, you should tell him. | 不 应该由你告诉他 |
[05:24] | But before you do, just remember, | 但在这之前 你要记着 |
[05:27] | kids who’ve been in the foster system as long as he has can be | 长期生活在寄养之家中辗转的孩子 |
[05:30] | a little withdrawn or manipulative, | 可能会有点冷漠或是工于心计 |
[05:32] | so don’t be surprised if he acts out. | 所以如果他有这些表现 别被吓到 |
[05:33] | It’s okay. I was a rebel when I was a kid. | 没关系 我小时候也叛逆着呢 |
[05:35] | One night, I took my mom’s car for a joyride. | 有天晚上 我开着我妈的车出去玩 |
[05:38] | The cops would have never caught me | 要不是图书馆关门了 |
[05:40] | if the library hadn’t been closed. | 警察绝对抓不到我 |
[05:42] | Well, call me if you need anything. | 有事你就给我打电话 |
[05:44] | I got to run. I got to hit the craft store. | 我得走了 我还得去手工商店 |
[05:46] | I am making each one of my cats a Christmas stocking. | 我要给我家的每只猫都织个圣诞袜子 |
[05:50] | I should have stopped at “I got to run.” | 我说完”我得走了”时就该闭嘴了 |
[05:53] | Anyway, congratulations. | 总之 恭喜你们了 |
[05:57] | Oh, hey, uh, Louis, could you come in here? | 路易斯 你能过来一下吗 |
[05:59] | Oh, my God, we should tell him he can’t stay. | 我们应该骗他说他不能留下 |
[06:01] | How funny would that be? | 他的反应得有多好玩啊 |
[06:05] | I’ll follow your lead. | 我还是听你安排吧 |
[06:09] | Hey, Louis, um, | 路易斯 |
[06:12] | so Ms. McMartin said that you like it here | 麦克马丁小姐说你喜欢这里 |
[06:15] | and you want to stay. | 你想要留下来 |
[06:16] | I do. | 是的 |
[06:17] | Well, we told her that we want you to stay, | 我们也告诉她 我们想让你留下来 |
[06:20] | and she said… okay! | 她说…没问题 |
[06:23] | Really? Cool! | 真的吗 太酷了 |
[06:25] | Yeah. We should celebrate. | 是的 我们好好庆祝一下吧 |
[06:26] | Can we get pizza, Zippy? | 我们可以订披萨吗 废柴 |
[06:30] | That turned out funnier than I thought it would. | 这比我想象中好笑得多了 |
[06:37] | You know, when my son was your age, | 我儿子像你这么大的时候 |
[06:39] | we used to play video games just like this. | 我们会像这样一起玩游戏机 |
[06:41] | – Really? – Yes, and I used to let him win, | -真的吗 -真的 我还经常让他赢 |
[06:44] | just like I’m letting you win… | 就像我现在让你赢一样 |
[06:45] | Hey! | 喂 |
[06:46] | How’d you blow up my car?! | 你怎么把我的车炸掉的 |
[06:48] | All right, Louis, time to get ready for bed. | 好了 路易斯 该睡觉了 |
[06:51] | Five more minutes? | 再玩五分钟吧 |
[06:52] | No. You know the deal. | 不行 你知道规矩的 |
[06:54] | One hour of video games a night. Now it’s bedtime. | 每天晚上只能玩一小时游戏 该睡觉了 |
[06:56] | Aw, no fair. | 真不公平 |
[06:58] | Well, life isn’t fair. | 人生就是这样不公平 |
[06:59] | Look at my face, look at his. | 看看我这熊样 再看看他 |
[07:02] | All right, I’m gonna go run you a bath. | 好了 我带你去洗澡 |
[07:04] | Put your dishes in the sink and put away the controllers. | 把盘子放在水槽里 把游戏柄放下 |
[07:06] | And, Louis, you help him. | 路易斯 你帮着他做 |
[07:12] | Oh, I know you’re upset, but rules are important. | 我知道你不开心 但规矩是最重要的 |
[07:16] | It’s just, we never got to play video games in the group home. | 我们在领养之家里从来没玩过游戏 |
[07:20] | Oh, of course. | 是吗 |
[07:23] | The group home. | 领养之家 |
[07:27] | Okay, what if we just snuck in a few more minutes? | 好吧 那就再玩几分钟 |
[07:30] | – Really? – Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, uh… | -真的吗 -真的 不过 |
[07:32] | but you can’t tell Walden, | 你不能告诉沃顿 |
[07:33] | and we have to play it really quietly. | 我们得悄悄地玩 |
[07:35] | You’re the coolest. | 你最酷了 |
[07:37] | I’m the cool dad. | 我是酷爸爸 |
[07:40] | I’m the cool dad. | 我是酷爸爸 |
[07:47] | Oh, hey there, kiddo. | 起来啦 孩子 |
[07:48] | How’d you sleep? | 你睡得如何 |
[07:49] | With my eyes closed. | 闭着眼睛睡啊 |
[07:51] | Ah, kicking it old school. | 老哏笑话 |
[07:53] | I respect that. | 佩服佩服 |
[07:54] | Can I have breakfast? | 我能吃早饭吗 |
[07:55] | Sure. How about some oatmeal? | 当然 想吃燕麦片吗 |
[07:58] | Cookies! | 我要吃饼干 |
[08:00] | – Well, do you like oatmeal cookies? – Yes. | -你喜欢燕麦饼干吗 -喜欢 |
[08:03] | Well, this is a sugarless oatmeal cookie | 这是无糖的燕麦饼干 |
[08:05] | in wet, pasty form. | 比较湿 比较稀的版本 |
[08:07] | Why can’t I have cookies? | 我为什么不能吃饼干 |
[08:08] | Well, because cookies aren’t breakfast food. | 因为饼干不是早餐吃的 |
[08:10] | And remember what Walden said about eating healthy. | 还记得沃顿说过要注意饮食健康吗 |
[08:12] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
[08:13] | My last foster family wouldn’t give me cookies either. | 上一户寄养之家也不让我吃饼干 |
[08:22] | I suppose one wouldn’t hurt. | 吃一片也不会死人吧 |
[08:27] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[08:29] | Hey, Louis, are you up yet? | 路易斯 你起来了吗 |
[08:31] | Oh. Uh, in here! | 在这里呢 |
[08:33] | Eat it. Wipe your mouth. | 快吃掉 擦干净嘴 |
[08:35] | Chocolate lips sink ships. | 千万别暴露你的巧克力嘴 |
[08:38] | – Morning. – Morning. | -早安 -早 |
[08:39] | Just making Louis some oatmeal. | 我在给路易斯弄燕麦片呢 |
[08:41] | That’s good, ’cause we got a big day for you, big guy. | 真好 我们今天要做的事还多呢 |
[08:43] | I got a bunch of errands to run, | 我有好多事要办 |
[08:45] | but Alan is gonna take you to the store | 艾伦会带你去商店 |
[08:48] | and buy you a new backpack. | 给你买个新书包 |
[08:49] | I saw one that looks just like Yoda. | 我看到有个书包就像尤达大师一样 |
[08:52] | To school you will wear it. | 背着它上学 |
[08:54] | Okay. Hmm. | 好吧 |
[08:56] | What are you eating? | 你在吃什么 |
[08:58] | Show it to me. | 给我看看 |
[09:01] | Is that a cookie? | 这是饼干吗 |
[09:03] | Where did you get a cookie? | 你从哪里拿到的饼干 |
[09:09] | Louis, where did you get a cookie? | 路易斯 你从哪里拿到的饼干 |
[09:13] | Hey, uh, Louis, why don’t you go get dressed | 路易斯 你去换衣服吧 |
[09:16] | and-and I’ll make you some oatmeal, | 我再帮你弄点燕麦片 |
[09:18] | and then you can get going. | 然后你就可以出发了 |
[09:19] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[09:20] | Oh, and-and don’t forget to brush your teeth. | 别忘了刷牙哦 |
[09:23] | And-and wash your hands. | 还有要洗手 |
[09:24] | Oh, and put on clean underwear. | 还要换干净内裤 |
[09:27] | Clean underwear? | 干净内裤 |
[09:28] | We’re going to Target, not the White House. | 我们去百货而已 又不是去白宫 |
[09:31] | Why would you give him a cookie for breakfast? | 你为什么让他早餐吃饼干 |
[09:33] | I couldn’t help it. He gave me orphan face. | 我没办法啊 他摆出孤儿的可怜脸 |
[09:37] | Please, sir, can I have a cookie? | 拜托 先生 能给我块饼干吗[雾都孤儿] |
[09:39] | Me tum-tum is all empty and growly. | 人家肚肚都饿瘪了 |
[09:42] | When it comes to Louis, we have to be a team. | 在教育路易斯的问题上 我们必须团结一致 |
[09:45] | If I make a rule, you got to have my back. | 我定了规矩 你就得照我的来 |
[09:47] | You’re right, you’re right, and-and from now on, | 你说得对 你说得对 从现在开始 |
[09:49] | I will ignore him like I ignore all those calls | 我会像无视讨债公司的电话一样 |
[09:51] | from the collection agency. | 无视他 |
[09:53] | Great. | 很好 |
[09:53] | Okay, now, please, today, just take him to the store, | 拜托今天带他去商店 |
[09:57] | get him a backpack, and then bring him home. | 给他买个背包 然后就带他回家 |
[09:59] | I want to do something fun later. | 晚点我想做点有趣的事 |
[10:00] | has to do with miniature golf | 和小型高尔夫游戏有关 |
[10:03] | and it rhymes with “What-what.” | 而且与”What-what”押韵 |
[10:06] | That sounds great. | 听起来不错 |
[10:07] | I’ll, uh, take him out right after breakfast. | 我早饭后就带他出去 |
[10:09] | And while you’re out, get some more of these cookies. | 出去的时候 再买点这种饼干 |
[10:11] | They make me tum-tum all smiley, governor. | 它们让我的肚肚都笑起来了 长官[雾都孤儿] |
[10:14] | See, I can do accents. | 瞧 我也可以模仿英国口音 |
[10:19] | Okay, here’s the fun part. Wait. Wait. | 好玩的部分来了 等着 |
[10:22] | * – Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Domo. – Domo. * | * -非常感谢 机器人先生 非常 -非常 * |
[10:27] | * – Domo. – Domo. * | * -非常 -非常 * |
[10:29] | * – Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Domo. – Domo. * | * -非常感谢 机器人先生 非常 -非常 * |
[10:34] | * – Domo. – Domo. * | * -非常 -非常 * |
[10:37] | I like that song. It’s about robots. | 我喜欢这首歌 写的是机器人 |
[10:39] | Yup. If you have to have one cassette stuck in your dash, | 对 如果只能挑一卷卡带永远卡在机器里 |
[10:42] | make it Styx. | 非”冥河乐队”莫属 |
[10:44] | Look, laser tag! Can we go? | 真人CS 我们能去玩吗 |
[10:46] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. | 不不不 |
[10:48] | We’re just gonna go buy a backpack and go straight home. | 我们去买了背包 就得马上回家 |
[10:51] | Please? | 求你了 |
[10:52] | Oh, no, do not give me that face. | 别 别那样看着我 |
[10:55] | It is not gonna work. | 没用的 |
[10:56] | I thought you were cool. | 我还以为你很酷 |
[10:59] | Well… I suppose one game of laser tag couldn’t hurt. | 好吧 玩一局真人CS也没什么 |
[11:03] | Awesome! | 太棒了 |
[11:04] | But it has to be a… | 不过这得是… |
[11:07] | * Secret, secret, I got a secret… * | * 秘密 秘密 我有个秘密… * |
[11:21] | Go tell your mommies you got shot by CoolDad47. | 快去告诉你们的妈妈 你们被酷爹47打中了 |
[11:27] | Hey, hey, who hit me? | 谁打我 |
[11:29] | – I got you. – Oh. I’m gonna get you. | -我打中你了 -我会打中你的 |
[11:32] | I’m gonna get you. | -我会打中你的 |
[11:33] | Yeah, yeah, you better run. | 你最好还是跑吧 |
[11:34] | Better run faster. | 最好跑快点 |
[11:36] | Ow, my head! | 我的头 |
[11:38] | Louis? | 路易斯 |
[11:39] | Louis, are you okay? | 路易斯 你没事吧 |
[11:40] | Wait, wait, don’t shoot! Uh, my kid is hurt. | 等等 别开枪 我孩子受伤了 |
[11:46] | Ha, ha. Sucker. | 蠢妞 |
[11:57] | Hey. I got here as quick as I could. | 我尽快赶来了 |
[11:59] | Are you okay, buddy? What happened? | 你没事吧 小家伙 怎么回事 |
[12:00] | He’s fine. It’s typical kid stuff, you know? | 他没事 就是小孩常有的事 |
[12:02] | He was running a little too fast, | 他当时跑得太快了 |
[12:03] | and he tripped and bumped his head. | 摔了一跤 撞到了头 |
[12:05] | And then Alan shot a little girl. | 然后艾伦”射”了一个小女孩 |
[12:10] | – What? – We played laser tag. | -什么 -我们在玩真人CS |
[12:12] | * Secret, secret, It was a secret. * | * 秘密 秘密 这是个秘密 * |
[12:16] | Alan, can I talk to you in the hallway? | 艾伦 能来走廊说两句吗 |
[12:20] | Ooh, you’re in trouble. | 你有麻烦了 |
[12:31] | I really hope you have a good explanation | 希望你能好好解释一下 |
[12:33] | for taking him to laser tag. | 带他去玩真人CS这事儿 |
[12:35] | Uh, okay, j-just out of curiosity, | 好 纯粹出于好奇 |
[12:38] | um, uh, what, in your opinion, | 在你看来 |
[12:40] | would qualify as a good explanation? | 什么才算是一个好的解释 |
[12:42] | I don’t know. Y-Your car broke down | 我不知道 比如说你的车 |
[12:44] | outside of the place. | 在路上坏了 |
[12:46] | And then the tornado was coming, so you took shelter inside. | 然后龙卷风来了 所以你们得去室内避难 |
[12:48] | And then once you got in there, you contracted a rare disease | 你们刚进屋 就得了一种罕见的病 |
[12:51] | that could only be cured by playing laser tag. | 只有玩真人CS才能痊愈 |
[12:54] | Wow, it’s like you were there. | 太准了 就像你当时也在场似的 |
[12:57] | What the hell, man? | 你搞什么啊 |
[12:58] | You said you had my back. | 你说你会照我的规矩来 |
[13:00] | Why do you keep doing this? | 那你为什么老是反着来 |
[13:01] | He thinks I’m cool. | 他觉得我很酷 |
[13:02] | I mean, when Jake was a kid, | 杰克小的时候 |
[13:03] | he thought Charlie was the cool one. | 他觉得查理才酷 |
[13:05] | When you moved in, Jake thought you were the cool one. | 你搬进来后 杰克觉得你最酷 |
[13:07] | Now it’s my turn. | 现在也该轮到我了 |
[13:08] | Louis thinks I’m Al-Al Cool Dad. | 路易斯觉得我是艾艾酷爹 |
[13:11] | No, he doesn’t. | 不 他不这么觉得 |
[13:13] | He’s using this to manipulate you | 他这么说是为了利用你 |
[13:15] | just like Ms. McMartin said he would. | 正如麦克马丁小姐说的那样 |
[13:18] | Oh, so the-the only possible reason that someone would like me | 有人喜欢我的唯一原因 |
[13:21] | is because they’re trying to manipulate me? | 是他们想利用我 |
[13:22] | Yes, that’s right! | 对 没错 |
[13:24] | You’re not Al-Al Cool Dad, you’re just Weird Al. | 你不是艾艾酷爹 你只是怪艾 |
[13:24] | Weird Al也指”怪人奥尔”扬科 美国创作型恶搞歌手 音乐制作人 演员 | |
[13:30] | Okay, first of all, | 好了 首先 |
[13:31] | that’s a compliment to a lover of puns. | 这是对双关语爱好者的夸奖 |
[13:33] | Secondly, you’re overreacting. | 第二 你的反应太夸张了 |
[13:36] | Overreacting? | 太夸张了 |
[13:38] | I asked you to get Louis a backpack. | 我让你带路易斯去买背包 |
[13:40] | Instead you got him stitches! | 你却让他受伤缝针 |
[13:42] | Uh, actually, it’s a liquid band. | 那其实是液体创可贴 |
[13:44] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
[13:46] | Louis is fine. | 路易斯没事 |
[13:48] | Kids get hurt all the time, especially boys. | 孩子受伤很正常 特别是男孩 |
[13:50] | Jake was constantly banging his head. | 杰克经常撞到头 |
[13:51] | Okay, I really don’t think you should be using Jake as an example. | 你真不应该拿杰克的例子来说 |
[13:53] | Oh, so what are you saying? That I did a bad job raising my son? | 你是什么意思 我的儿子没有养好吗 |
[13:56] | Jake is great, | 杰克很好 |
[13:57] | but he did just send you a photo from Tokyo | 不过他才从东京给你寄了张照片 |
[14:00] | and said– and I quote– | 我复述下上面写的话 |
[14:01] | “Look at what a great job they did | “看他们把哥斯拉破坏的城市 |
[14:03] | rebuilding the city after Godzilla.” | 重建得多么美好” |
[14:07] | Okay, I may not be the best parent in the world, | 好吧 我可能不是世界上最好的父亲 |
[14:09] | but at least I found a woman willing to have a kid with me. | 至少我找到了一个愿意给我生孩子的女人 |
[14:12] | Okay, you know what, we should drop this. | 行了 我们还是别斗嘴[掉]了 |
[14:14] | Like you did Jake, on his head, repeatedly. | 就像你老是把杰克掉地下 撞到他的头 |
[14:16] | Yeah. I don’t have to take this. | 我才不要忍气吞声 |
[14:18] | So I am just gonna walk away. | 所以我要离开了 |
[14:19] | Like every woman you’ve ever dated. | 就像你之前约会过的女人一样 |
[14:21] | Oh, no, you’re gonna walk away? | 不是吧 你要离开了 |
[14:24] | Well, when am I gonna see you again? | 那我什么时候才能见到你 |
[14:26] | Oh, I know. In 20 minutes, | 我知道了 20分钟后 |
[14:28] | at my house, where you live rent-free. | 在我的房子里 你免费住的地方 |
[14:31] | Proctology is on the eighth floor, Walden! | 肛门科在八楼 沃顿 |
[14:33] | In case you’d like to get that stick removed. | 你个屁精有病想治的话 记得上楼去 |
[14:37] | Al-Al Cool Dad, out. | 艾艾酷爹 走了 |
[14:48] | – Morning. – Morning. | -早安 -早 |
[14:51] | I want you to know I spent a lot of time thinking | 我花了很多的时间思考 |
[14:52] | about everything last night. | 昨晚发生的事情 |
[14:54] | And? | 然后 |
[14:55] | And I think an apology is sufficient. | 我觉得道歉就足够了 |
[14:58] | I don’t need a gift. | 我不要你的礼物 |
[15:01] | Although I certainly wouldn’t refuse a new panini press. | 虽然我不会拒绝一台新帕尼尼烧烤机 |
[15:04] | That’s a great idea. | 这是个好主意 |
[15:05] | You know, if I bought you a panini press, | 如果我给你买了帕尼尼烧烤机 |
[15:07] | would you smash your balls between the hot metal grates? | 你能不能把蛋蛋夹到滚烫的烤盘里压碎 |
[15:11] | Oh, okay. | 好的 |
[15:12] | I see I’m the only one capable of being a mature adult, | 看出来了 只有我才是成熟懂事的大人 |
[15:15] | so to you I say… | 那我这么跟你说… |
[15:19] | You spit on me. | 你喷到我了 |
[15:20] | Oh, did I? | 有吗 |
[15:24] | Okay. | 行 |
[15:24] | Let’s go. | 来吧 |
[15:29] | Can I play, too? | 带我一起玩吧 |
[15:35] | Hey, buddy, uh, you’re already finished with your chores? | 小伙子 你的家务都做完了吗 |
[15:38] | Yup, I made my bed. | 做完了 我铺了床 |
[15:40] | What a responsible young man. | 多么有责任心的少年 |
[15:42] | I asked you to do something and you did it. | 把我的要求都做到了 |
[15:44] | And he’s six. | 他才六岁 |
[15:47] | Hey, uh, buddy, now that you’re finished with your chores, | 小伙子 现在你的家务都做完了 |
[15:49] | what do you say we go bowling, huh? | 我们去打保龄球好不好 |
[15:52] | Doesn’t that sound fun? | 听着就有意思吧 |
[15:53] | We get to wear other people’s shoes. | 我们会换上别人的鞋 |
[15:55] | Can Alan come? | 艾伦去吗 |
[15:58] | Alan already wears other people’s shoes. | 艾伦本来穿的就是别人的鞋 |
[16:02] | I actually have to go to the grocery store, anyway. | 反正我也得去趟杂货店 |
[16:05] | Do you know what else would be fun? | 你知道还有什么事有意思吗 |
[16:07] | Hey, anything you want to do. | 你说干什么都行 |
[16:08] | Let’s go to the grocery store with Alan. | 我们一起和艾伦去杂货店 |
[16:18] | Can I get Pop Tarts? | 我能要水果馅饼吗 |
[16:20] | Ah, Pop Tarts. | 水果馅饼 |
[16:23] | This is a wonderful choice. | 选得好啊 |
[16:25] | Might I suggest the classic strawberry? | 容我向您推荐经典草莓馅 |
[16:28] | Is best by 2016. | 最佳赏味日期在2016年前 |
[16:30] | This is an excellent year. | 绝佳的年份 |
[16:33] | Anything for the lady? | 这位女士要点什么 |
[16:36] | Perhaps a glass of kiss my shir-ass. | 一杯色拉屎红酒 |
[16:40] | What do you got there, buddy? | 你去拿什么 小伙子 |
[16:42] | I want Froot Loops. | 我想要果脆圈 |
[16:45] | You know, we only get one special treat. | 我们只能买一个小零食 |
[16:47] | So if you want those, we got to put the Pop Tarts back. | 如果你选了那个 就得把水果馅饼放回去 |
[16:49] | But I want both. | 可我两个都要 |
[16:51] | Well, here’s the thing: we can’t have both. | 问题是 我们不能要两个 |
[16:54] | So… that’s the rule. | 规矩就是规矩 |
[17:05] | Ooh, this should be good. | 有好戏看了 |
[17:11] | Okay, Louis… | 好了 路易斯 |
[17:12] | you heard what I said. | 你听到我的话了 |
[17:14] | You can’t have these. | 不能买这个 |
[17:21] | Oh, Snap… | 打脸 |
[17:21] | Snap, Crackle and Pop 是同牌早餐”凯洛洛”旗下 另一知名系列早餐的封面吉祥物三兄弟 | |
[17:23] | Crackle and Pop. | 咔嚓啪啪 |
[17:30] | What are you doing? | 你要干什么 |
[17:30] | I want Froot Loops. | 我要果脆圈 |
[17:32] | Okay, I’m gonna count to three, | 这样 我数到三 |
[17:34] | and if you don’t get up, you’re gonna be in big trouble. | 你要是还不起来 麻烦可就大了 |
[17:39] | Ooh, counting. This is some groundbreaking stuff. | 哟 倒数了 这下可刺激了 |
[17:43] | One… | 一 |
[17:45] | …two… | 二 |
[17:48] | …three. | 三 |
[17:52] | One… | 一 |
[17:53] | One and a half… | 一点五 |
[17:55] | Well, you clearly have this under control. | 看得出你镇得住场面 |
[17:58] | I’m gonna go check out the cuties in the produce section. | 我准备去农产品区找找嫩到不行的果子 |
[18:00] | And I may or may not be talking about the tangerines. | “嫩”到不行的 可不一定真是指水果哦 |
[18:05] | You hear that, Louis? He’s leaving. | 你听到了吗 路易斯 他都走了 |
[18:08] | And I, now, I guess, | 现在我… |
[18:09] | now I’m leaving, so… | 我也要走了 所以… |
[18:11] | unless you want to live here in the cereal aisle, | 除非你想住在早餐食品过道 |
[18:13] | I suggest you get up. | 不然还是赶紧站起来 |
[18:16] | All right, okay. Here we go, then. | 好吧 行 那我走了 |
[18:19] | Have fun. | 你好好玩 |
[18:20] | I hope Captain Crunch can put you through college. | 希望早餐脆脆船长会供你上大学 |
[18:28] | Next stop is the checkout aisle. | 下一站 结款台 |
[18:34] | That’s it. | 够了 |
[18:34] | I am not kidding, I mean it. I am leaving. | 我没开玩笑 我真的要走了 |
[18:37] | Attention shoppers, | 顾客请注意 |
[18:38] | we are having a two-for-one sale | 现在五过道正在促销 |
[18:40] | on meaningless threats in aisle five. | “无用牌威胁”买一送一 |
[18:44] | – Can you help me out here? – Help? Oh, oh. | -能来帮帮我吗 -帮你 |
[18:46] | You want me to help? | 你要用我帮吗 |
[18:48] | Well, I suppose I could drop him on his head repeatedly. | 我的确是可以总把他脑袋掉地上 |
[18:52] | Okay, you know what, I deserve that. | 你没错 我活该 |
[18:53] | Yesterday I said some things that I regret. | 我昨天说过一些让我懊悔的话 |
[18:56] | Mm. Like what? | 什么话 |
[18:57] | God, do we have to do this now? | 天 你非得现在这样吗 |
[18:58] | Why not? I’m not going anywhere. | 为什么不 反正我也没别的地方去 |
[19:00] | Clearly, he’s not going anywhere. | 显然 他也哪都不去 |
[19:03] | Okay, fine, I said that-that you’re not a very good father. | 好吧 我说你不是好爸爸 |
[19:06] | And that is simply not true. | 这话我说错了 |
[19:08] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
[19:10] | That must have been hard for you to say. | 你说出这话不容易 |
[19:12] | And Jake is a very bright and capable young man. | 杰克是个聪明能干的青年 |
[19:15] | And that must have been damn near impossible to say. | 你说出这话简直难到不可思议 |
[19:19] | But… very sweet. | 但很贴心 |
[19:21] | Um, I shouldn’t have gone behind your back with Louis. | 我本来应该在路易斯的教育上听你的 |
[19:24] | But it just, it felt so good that he wanted to be with me. | 但就是他想跟我在一起的感觉太棒了 |
[19:26] | And I’ve never been anybody’s first pick before. | 我从来没当过别人的首选 |
[19:28] | You were my first pick to help me raise a kid. | 你是我共同抚养孩子的首选 |
[19:32] | Clean up on aisle five. | 五过道需要清扫 |
[19:33] | The floor’s about to be covered in tears. | 地板马上要被泪水淹没 |
[19:36] | Okay. Can-Can you give me a hand here? | 行了 你能不能帮我处理一下 |
[19:39] | Okay, I’ve seen this a million times before. | 好 这情形我遇过无数次了 |
[19:41] | There is one surefire parental technique that always works. | 有一个保准有用的家长技巧 百试百灵 |
[19:50] | He wanted Froot Loops. | 他想要果脆圈 |
[19:52] | We’re good parents. We really are. | 我们是好家长 真的 |
[20:03] | Louis is all tucked in. | 路易斯乖乖上床了 |
[20:05] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
[20:06] | No extra bedtime story? | 没有额外的睡前故事 |
[20:08] | No secret dessert? | 没有偷吃甜点 |
[20:10] | No dancing like no one’s watching? | 没有旁若无人的跳舞吗 |
[20:13] | No jazz hands were raised, no heels were kicked. | 爵士手没举 鞋跟没敲 |
[20:16] | – I appreciate that. – I got your back. | -谢谢你 -我支持你 |
[20:18] | And to say thank you, | 为了表达我的谢意 |
[20:21] | I got you a special surprise. | 我给你准备了一个特别的惊喜 |
[20:27] | Froot Loops! | 果脆圈 |
[20:29] | * Secret, secret. We got a secret. * | * 秘密 秘密 我们有个秘密 * |