| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Okay. Hold up your gifts. | 好的 把礼物举起来 |
| [00:05] | Everybody has to see the gold and frankincense and myrrh | 让大家能看到黄金 乳香与没药 |
| [00:07] | so they know we’re the three wise men. | 才能知道我们是东方三博士 |
| [00:09] | It’s 88 degrees out. | 现在有31度 |
| [00:11] | I don’t have any myrrh. | 我也没有没药 |
| [00:13] | Unless it’s the biblical term for “Swamp ass.” | 除非那个词是圣经里”湿一屁股”的用语 |
| [00:16] | We want this to be mantel-worthy. | 我们要拍一张有意义的照片 |
| [00:18] | We want people to say, you know, “Look at those costumes, | 要让别人觉得 “看看他们的变装服 |
| [00:20] | look at that view, look at Cher’s house | 他们背后的风景 看看雪儿的房子 |
| [00:22] | perfectly positioned over Alan’s right shoulder.” | 正好就在照片中艾伦的右肩之上” |
| [00:26] | Oh, it’s got to be better than last year. | 好歹肯定会比去年那张好 |
| [00:28] | Me as Joseph, Berta as the Virgin Mary | 去年我扮成约瑟 波塔是圣母玛利亚 |
| [00:30] | looking down at you in a diaper. | 然后低头看着穿着尿布的你 |
| [00:33] | People loved that. | 大家很爱那张好吗 |
| [00:34] | Okay, here we go. | 来拍啦 |
| [00:38] | Now everybody say… | 大家一起说… |
| [00:40] | Sweet baby Jesus! | 我了个老天爷哦 |
| [00:42] | Sweet baby Jesus! | 我了个老天爷哦 |
| [00:44] | Sorry about that. | 抱歉 |
| [00:46] | Oh, that’s so cute. | 好可爱啊 |
| [00:47] | You guys are dressed as Duck Dynasty. | 你们装扮成《鸭子王朝》的人 |
| [00:47] | 美国电视真人秀 讲一个猎鸭制品家族故事 该家族的人都喜欢留长须 | |
| [00:50] | No. We’re the three kings of Bethlehem. | 我们是伯利恒的三博士[王] |
| [00:50] | 耶稣出生地 三博士有许多称号 如三王 三贤者 麦琪 术士 | |
| [00:53] | Oh, right. | 好吧 |
| [00:54] | I don’t get HBO. | 我家没电影台 不看历史剧 |
| [00:56] | Guys, look at him. | 你们快看这小可爱 |
| [00:59] | Isn’t he the cutest in his little robe and beard? | 他穿着小袍子跟小胡须是不是超可爱 |
| [01:03] | You want my gold? | 你们想要我的黄金吗 |
| [01:07] | First cute girl he meets, he’s already giving away his money. | 第一次见到美女 就要把钱都给人家了 |
| [01:12] | You know, I think I have a better idea for a holiday card. | 我有更好的节日祝贺卡片主意了 |
| [01:16] | 圣诞快乐 《博士两个半》敬上 | |
| [01:33] | I found the fake snow! | 我找到人工雪花啦 |
| [01:38] | It looks real. | 看起来好真啊 |
| [01:39] | Yeah. I love a white Christmas. | 我也喜欢下雪的圣诞 |
| [01:41] | So did Charlie. | 查理也喜欢 |
| [01:42] | He used to put snow on every mirror in the house. | 他以前喜欢把家里所有镜子都喷上雪 |
| [01:47] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:47] | Hey, hey, buddy, why don’t you go inside | 小家伙 你要不要进去 |
| [01:49] | and write your letter to Santa? | 给圣诞老人写封信呢 |
| [01:50] | Santa’s not real. | 圣诞老人又不是真的 |
| [01:52] | What? | 什么 |
| [01:53] | Of course he is. | 他当然是真的啦 |
| [01:55] | He’s never brought me anything I asked for. | 他从没有给我过任何我许愿的礼物 |
| [01:58] | Hey, I am sure that Santa’s gonna | 小家伙 我确定今年 |
| [02:00] | come through for you this year, buddy. | 圣诞老人一定会来给你送礼物 |
| [02:02] | That’s what grown-ups always say. | 大人每次都这么说 |
| [02:06] | Come inside with me. | 跟我进来 |
| [02:08] | I made gingerbread Zippys. | 我做了废柴姜饼人 |
| [02:12] | I was gonna make gingerbread houses, | 我本来要做个姜饼屋 |
| [02:14] | but everybody knows Zippys don’t have houses. | 可是大家都知道废柴没有屋子 |
| [02:19] | A six-year-old boy who doesn’t believe in Santa. | 一个六岁的孩子居然不相信圣诞老人 |
| [02:22] | How sad is that? | 这也太可悲了吧 |
| [02:24] | Almost as sad as my 20-year-old boy who does. | 跟我那个20岁还相信圣诞老人的儿子一样可悲 |
| [02:28] | This sucks. | 这样不好 |
| [02:29] | Just ’cause he grew up in a group home doesn’t mean | 他在教养院长大不代表 |
| [02:31] | – that he can’t enjoy the magic of Christmas. – I know. | -他就不能享受圣诞节的魔力啊 -我知道 |
| [02:34] | It was always Jake’s favorite holiday. | 圣诞节一直都是杰克最爱的节日 |
| [02:36] | Especially the year he turned 13 | 尤其是他13岁的那年 |
| [02:37] | and got his first Christmas boner. | 他得到了他首次的圣诞勃起 |
| [02:40] | It was the only toy he played with all day. | 这唯一的”玩具”他玩了一整天 |
| [02:44] | Hey, you know, I bet Louis would believe | 我相信如果路易斯得到了 |
| [02:46] | if we got him exactly what he wanted. | 他想要的礼物 他就会相信了 |
| [02:48] | I don’t know what he wants. | 我不知道他想要什么 |
| [02:49] | – He wants a bike. – God! | -他想要辆脚踏车 -天啊 |
| [02:52] | Rose. | 罗斯 |
| [02:53] | What are you doing here? | 你来干嘛 |
| [02:55] | Wait. How do you know about Louis? | 等等 你怎么会知道路易斯 |
| [02:56] | Oh, Walden, you’re so adorable. | 沃顿 你真是好傻好天真 |
| [02:59] | I just wanted to bring by my homemade Christmas candies. | 我只是来送我自制的圣诞糖果而已 |
| [03:02] | Do you like nuts? | 你喜欢坚果[疯子]吗 |
| [03:06] | Covered in chocolate, yes. | 裹巧克力的坚果 喜欢 |
| [03:08] | With a sweater and skirt, no. | 穿着毛衣跟裙子的疯子 不喜欢 |
| [03:10] | Oh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:11] | On this day, Walden’s heart shrank three sizes. | 在这天 沃顿的小肚鸡肠又缩更小了 |
| [03:15] | Anyway, I know this time of year can get busy, | 我知道每年的这个时候会有很多事要忙 |
| [03:18] | so if you need a helping hand, I’m here. | 所以如果你们需要帮手 欢迎找我 |
| [03:20] | I can wrap presents or babysit or read a Christmas story. | 我会包礼物 看小孩 或读圣诞故事 |
| [03:24] | I’m great at doing voices. | 我很会学各种声音哦 |
| [03:25] | Or hearing them. | 也很会偷听声音 |
| [03:28] | What do you want, Rose? | 罗斯 你到底有什么目的 |
| [03:29] | My DNA, my fingerprints, a lock of my hair? | 我的DNA 指纹 还是一撮头发 |
| [03:32] | No, silly. | 才不是 小傻瓜 |
| [03:33] | I have all that. | 这些我早有了 |
| [03:35] | I want to be your friend again. | 我只是想跟你再次成为朋友 |
| [03:37] | I don’t think that I’m comfortable with you being around Louis. | 可我不太想要你接近路易斯 |
| [03:41] | Or me. | 或接近我 |
| [03:42] | If you want to hang out with Alan, that’s fine. | 但我不介意你跟艾伦玩 |
| [03:46] | I’ll pass. | 还是算了吧 |
| [03:51] | Here you go– a little Christmas cheer for everyone. | 给 大家都来喝杯圣诞小饮 |
| [03:56] | Ugh! What is this? | 这是什么鬼 |
| [03:58] | It’s eggnog. | 圣诞蛋酒啊 |
| [03:59] | With no rum! | 有蛋没有酒 |
| [04:02] | Eggnog without booze is as boring and bland | 蛋酒不加酒 就跟没酒的教堂 |
| [04:05] | as church without booze. | 一样无聊又没劲 |
| [04:09] | Be a dear and go get some rum for your grandmother. | 你乖 去帮奶奶拿点朗姆酒来 |
| [04:13] | Evelyn, he’s six years old. | 伊芙琳 他才六岁 |
| [04:16] | Oh. Yes, right. | 对哦 我忘了 |
| [04:19] | The rum is in a bottle with a pirate on it. | 朗姆酒是上面有海盗图案的那瓶 |
| [04:24] | Maybe-maybe we can wait until Louis goes to bed. | 好歹也等到路易斯上床睡觉去了再喝 |
| [04:26] | Of course. | 你说得对 |
| [04:28] | So run along to bed, dear. | 那你赶紧上床睡觉吧 乖 |
| [04:30] | Mom. | 妈 |
| [04:32] | If you don’t go to sleep, Santa won’t come. | 如果你不去睡觉 圣诞老人不会来哦 |
| [04:33] | There is no Santa. | 才没有圣诞老人呢 |
| [04:35] | What?! Of course there is. | 什么 当然有啊 |
| [04:37] | Santa’s as real as the nose on my face. | 圣诞老人就跟我的鼻子一样真 |
| [04:42] | Well, he’s as real as my… | 真得像我身上的… |
| [04:46] | Trust me, he’s real. | 相信我 他真的存在 |
| [04:49] | You know, she’s right, | 她说得没错哦 |
| [04:50] | and tonight we’re gonna prove it, | 今晚我们就可以证明给你看 |
| [04:53] | because we got a Santa cam, | 因为我们有圣诞老人摄像头 |
| [04:56] | so we can catch the big man in red on video. | 这样我们就能拍到红衣老头的身影啦 |
| [05:01] | Santa Claus! | 圣诞老人 |
| [05:02] | Old Saint Nick! | 圣诞老公公 |
| [05:03] | Papa Noel. | 圣诞老人[西班牙语] |
| [05:05] | Babbo Natale. | 圣诞老人[意大利语] |
| [05:08] | Weihnachtsmann. | 圣诞老人[德语] |
| [05:11] | Which, of course, means “Christmas man” in German. | 在德文里 这是”圣诞先生”的意思 |
| [05:15] | Teachable moment. | 适合教学的时刻嘛 |
| [05:16] | The-the point is, in the morning, | 重点是 等明早 |
| [05:18] | when you see him on video, | 你看到录像里的圣诞老人 |
| [05:20] | then you’ll believe he’s real, right? | 你就会相信他的存在啦 对吧 |
| [05:22] | I guess. | 大概吧 |
| [05:23] | I guess?! What? | 什么大概 |
| [05:26] | It’s a Christmas miracle! | 这可是圣诞节的奇迹啊 |
| [05:27] | Did you hear that, Alan? Did you hear that, Evelyn? | 你们说是吧 艾伦 你说是吧 伊芙琳 |
| [05:29] | You hear that, Clarence? | 你听到了吗 克雷伦斯 |
| [05:30] | Merry Christmas, you wonderful old building and loan! | 建筑与贷款协会 圣诞快乐 |
| [05:34] | Okay, off to bed you go. | 好啦 上床睡觉去啦 |
| [05:37] | And soon, you’ll have visions of sugar plums | 很快你就可以进入梦乡 |
| [05:40] | dancing in your head. | 有糖梅在你脑中跳舞了 |
| [05:41] | Can I have some pirate rum? | 我能喝点海盗朗姆酒吗 |
| [05:44] | No, we don’t want visions | 不行 我们可不想有 |
| [05:46] | of pink elephants dancing in our head. | 粉色大象在你脑海里跳舞 |
| [05:48] | Okay, you go brush your teeth, and I’ll be in in a minute. | 你先去刷牙 我马上就进你房间 |
| [05:53] | When Alan was little and couldn’t sleep, | 艾伦小时睡不着的时候 |
| [05:54] | I used to give him whiskey. | 我都给他喝威士忌 |
| [05:56] | Breast-feeding doesn’t count, Mother. | 奶汁里掺到的酒不算好吗 母亲 |
| [06:00] | So here’s the plan. | 计划是这样的 |
| [06:01] | Santa’s not actually coming. | 圣诞老人其实不会来 |
| [06:03] | You don’t say. | 还用你说 |
| [06:05] | But how awesome is this? | 但你听这样有多棒 |
| [06:06] | We got the number two guy from the Thanksgiving Day Parade. | 我们请到了今年感恩节气球游行的二号人物 |
| [06:10] | So, if the giant Bullwinkle balloon | 等于如果大型驯鹿气球 |
| [06:12] | breaks loose and kills the number one Santa, | 爆开 刚好炸死了一号圣诞老人 |
| [06:14] | this is the guy. | 他可就是继位的头号人选 |
| [06:16] | Yeah. He also appeared as Santa | 对啊 他也曾以圣诞老人的形象 |
| [06:18] | on an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. | 出现在《德州巡警》的某一集中 |
| [06:22] | He and Chuck Norris fought the bad guys with Christmas fu. | 他和剧中男主演用圣诞功夫打败了坏人 |
| [06:28] | So, when he gets here, he’s gonna take the presents | 所以等他来了 我们会把买好的礼物 |
| [06:30] | that we bought for him, and he’s gonna put them under the tree, | 交给他 让他将礼物放到圣诞树下 |
| [06:32] | and then we’ll get it on video, | 然后我们会拍下他放礼物的样子 |
| [06:34] | and then Louis will have the perfect | 这样路易斯的圣诞节就像 |
| [06:36] | Charlie Brown Christmas. | 电影《查理布朗的圣诞节》那样完美 |
| [06:49] | I need rum. | 我去倒朗姆酒 |
| [06:55] | Santa’s here! | 圣诞老人来啦 |
| [06:57] | I give you Kris Kringle. | 下面有请奇斯·克林格[圣诞老人别称] |
| [07:02] | Are you smoking pot? | 你在抽大麻吗 |
| [07:03] | Of course not. | 当然不是啦 |
| [07:06] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [07:07] | Santa’s got a prescription card. | 圣诞老人的是药用大麻 |
| [07:11] | Well, apparently, the presents have already been delivered in Colorado. | 看来科罗拉多州的礼物都已经送完了嘛 |
| [07:15] | Here. Come on in. | 快请进 |
| [07:19] | I’m Walden. This is Alan and, uh, Evelyn. | 我是沃顿 他们是艾伦和伊芙琳 |
| [07:22] | Uh, wh-what do you go by? Mr. Claus? | 我该称呼您什么呢 圣诞老先生 |
| [07:26] | Babbo Natale? | 圣诞老人[意大利语] |
| [07:29] | Weihnachtsmann? | 圣诞老人[德语] |
| [07:31] | Actually, it’s Frank. | 其实我叫弗兰克 |
| [07:34] | It’s not very Christmasy. | 这名字不太有圣诞气息啊 |
| [07:35] | Well, if you don’t like it, | 如果你不喜欢 |
| [07:36] | I can hang some mistletoe over my ass. | 我可以在屁股上挂一个槲寄生 |
| [07:36] | 榭寄生下得接吻 屁股上挂 意思就是”Kiss my ass” 亲我屁股/吃屎去吧 | |
| [07:41] | That’s my son you’re talking to. | 这可是我儿子 |
| [07:44] | Good one. | 干得好 |
| [07:47] | I-I… I’m sorry. We’re-we’re just really excited. | 很抱歉 我们只是太兴奋了 |
| [07:49] | It’s our first Christmas with our foster son. | 这是我们跟领养的儿子第一次过圣诞节 |
| [07:51] | Uh, basically, what we’re gonna do is | 基本上我们要做的就是 |
| [07:53] | film you putting the presents under the tree. | 拍一段你放礼物到树下的录像 |
| [07:56] | Uh, and then I’ve written a little something | 台词我已经写好了 |
| [07:58] | for you to say to Louis. | 你照念给路易斯听就行 |
| [07:59] | Let me guess. | 我猜猜 |
| [08:00] | “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Louis!” | “嚯嚯嚯 圣诞快乐 路易斯” |
| [08:05] | Oh, that’s better. Go with that. | 那更好 就用你的吧 |
| [08:07] | Okay, okay, okay, and then… | 还有还有 然后… |
| [08:08] | then you’ll take a bite of the cookie, | 然后你要咬一口饼干 |
| [08:11] | you’ll crunch the carrot, you’ll sip the milk, | 嚼一口胡萝卜 喝一口牛奶 |
| [08:14] | wink at the camera, jiggle your belly and leave. | 朝着镜头眨眼 晃下肚子然后走人 |
| [08:18] | So it’s toys, bite, crunch, | 就是玩具 咬 嚼 |
| [08:20] | sip, wink, jiggle, leave. | 喝 眨 摇 走 |
| [08:23] | Toys, bite, crunch, sip, wink, jiggle, leave. | 玩具 咬 嚼 喝 眨 摇 走 |
| [08:26] | Got it? | 懂了吗 |
| [08:27] | So you want me to be Santa. | 你想让我扮圣诞老人 |
| [08:30] | Toys, bite, crunch, sip, wink, jiggle, leave. | “玩具” 咬 嚼 喝 眨 摇 走 |
| [08:34] | That sounds a lot like an orgy I had in Palm Springs once. | 听起来很像我在棕榈泉参加过的杂交大会 |
| [08:40] | All right, let’s get this stuff wrapped | 好的 我们快把礼物包一包 |
| [08:42] | so we can enjoy this holiday the way I always imagined. | 这样才能按我想的那样享受这个节日 |
| [08:45] | Listening to Michael Buble’s Christmas album… | 聆听麦可·布雷的圣诞专辑… |
| [08:49] | with my husband. | 跟我的老公一起听 |
| [08:52] | Aw, looks like Alan’s getting his first gift early. | 看来艾伦提前收到了他的第一份礼物 |
| [08:57] | Where’s the boy’s bike? | 孩子的脚踏车呢 |
| [08:58] | Oh, right here. | 就在这里 |
| [09:02] | That’s not a boy’s bike. That’s a box. | 那不是脚踏车 那是一个箱子 |
| [09:05] | The boy’s bike’s in the box. | 脚踏车就在箱子里啊 |
| [09:07] | Tell me the boy’s bike in the box has been built. | 拜托告诉我 脚踏车已经组装好放在箱子里了 |
| [09:10] | Oh, no, they wanted $75 to assemble it. | 没有 组装要多加75美元 |
| [09:13] | That’s like ten pairs of pants. | 我都能买十条裤子了 |
| [09:16] | I was paying for it! | 付钱的人是我好吗 |
| [09:18] | Oh, come on. | 拜托 |
| [09:20] | How hard could it be? | 组装这个能有多难 |
| [09:27] | Uh, sorry, looks like it’s gonna be | 抱歉 貌似整理礼物的时间 |
| [09:28] | a little longer than we expected. | 比我们预想中要久 |
| [09:30] | Uh, any chance you know how to put together a bike? | 你会不会组装脚踏车呀 |
| [09:33] | Right now, I’m too buzzed to have a tool in my hand. | 现在我有点醉了 手里不适合握工具 |
| [09:38] | I’m just buzzed enough to have a tool in mine. | 我也醉了 手里特别适合握”工具” |
| [09:42] | Well, ho, ho, ho. | 嚯 嚯 嚯[骚货] |
| [09:45] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [09:47] | Here. | 杯子给我 |
| [09:48] | Let me get us both a little more eggnog. | 我再去给咱俩倒点蛋酒 |
| [09:51] | Um, Santa, did you drive your own sleigh over here tonight? | 圣诞老人 你今晚有没有驾你的”雪橇”过来 |
| [09:56] | Nope. Santa Ubered. | 没有 我打车来的 |
| [10:00] | Oh, well, uh, hope your driver was named Rudolph. | 希望来接你的司机叫鲁道夫[驯鹿] |
| [10:05] | Um, so what’s going on? | 你们是怎么回事 |
| [10:07] | Does Santa know you’re married? | 圣诞老人知道你结婚了吗 |
| [10:08] | Does the IRS know you don’t have five children? | 美国国税局知道你没有五个孩子吗 |
| [10:14] | Marty and I have an open marriage. | 我和马蒂是开放式婚姻 |
| [10:16] | And since he’s 93, | 而且他都93岁了 |
| [10:18] | my end opens a little more frequently than his. | 所以我这边的”门”要比他的常开 |
| [10:21] | As does your mouth. | 你的嘴也开太多 |
| [10:24] | That’s one of the ends I was talking about. | 那也是我刚说的其中一扇”门” |
| [10:29] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [10:31] | You’re running low on eggnog, so this one is all rum. | 蛋酒快没了 所以这杯是全是朗姆酒 |
| [10:36] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:37] | You know, this is a situation | 现在的情况呢 |
| [10:39] | where Santa doesn’t need a little helper. | 圣诞老人并不需要人帮忙 |
| [10:43] | So on, Prancer. | 一边去 小驯鹿 |
| [10:46] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [10:47] | But just know this: | 不过你要记住 |
| [10:49] | I am not afraid to give Santa a negative review on Yelp. | 我可是不怕在点评网上给圣诞老人一个差评哦 |
| [10:55] | Okay, I can’t make heads or tails of these instructions. | 我完全看不懂这本说明书 |
| [10:58] | They’re barely in English. | 感觉简直不像是英语 |
| [11:00] | Uh, “The bolts of turning | “转向螺栓 |
| [11:02] | shall revolve clockwords | 应放在上图的零件下 |
| [11:06] | as in above figure below.” | 并按顺时针旋转” |
| [11:10] | Does it say anything about roommate of cheapness | 里面有说到”抠门小气的室友 |
| [11:13] | shall have foot inserted in back hole till tight? | 应用脚狠狠插进他的菊花”吗 |
| [11:18] | I guess on the first day of Christmas, | 在圣诞节的第一天 |
| [11:20] | my true love threatened me. | 我的真爱就威胁我 |
| [11:22] | I’m sorry, but it’s Louis’s first Christmas not in the group home, | 抱歉 但这是路易斯第一次不在教养院过圣诞节 |
| [11:25] | and I want it to be perfect. | 我想做到完美无缺 |
| [11:27] | No Christmas is ever perfect. | 根本不存在完美的圣诞节 |
| [11:28] | There’s always gonna be a toy | 肯定会出现一个玩具 |
| [11:30] | that’s broken or the wrong kind of batteries. | 不是坏了 就是电池买得不对 |
| [11:32] | I mean, even on the very first Christmas, | 即便是史上第一个圣诞节 |
| [11:34] | Mary and Joseph woke up to the smell of donkey crap. | 圣母玛利亚和约瑟也是闻着驴子的大便醒来 |
| [11:38] | I know. I just… | 我知道 只是… |
| [11:39] | I want him to believe in Santa, | 我想让路易斯相信圣诞老人的存在 |
| [11:41] | and-and get this bike | 收到一辆脚踏车 |
| [11:43] | and-and wake up to a winter wonderland. | 醒来就能看见一个冬日仙境 |
| [11:46] | Not that I ordered a truckload of snow. | 我可没有定购一卡车的雪 |
| [11:50] | I didn’t get reindeer! | 我也没有弄来驯鹿 |
| [11:52] | Well, they’re endangered. | 因为它们是濒危动物 |
| [11:55] | We could still make Christmas special for Louis. | 我们还是可以让路易斯觉得圣诞节有意义啊 |
| [11:57] | We just got to finish this bike. We can do this. | 我们只需组装好这辆脚踏车 我们能做到 |
| [11:59] | You’re right. We got an M.I.T. Engineer and a… | 你说得对 我是麻省理工的工程师 |
| [12:02] | formerly board-certified chiropractor. | 你是曾经具备医师资格认证的脊椎治疗师 |
| [12:05] | Yeah, now we’re talking. | 瞧 这才像话嘛 |
| [12:07] | I mean, this can’t be more difficult than realigning someone’s spine. | 这不可能比帮别人矫正脊椎还难 |
| [12:11] | – Here. – You know, you got, uh… | -给 -你只需… |
| [12:12] | you got your, uh, your L2, uh, connected to your L3. | 把L2部分跟L3部分组装起来 |
| [12:16] | And all we have to do is | 我们只需 |
| [12:17] | put the right pressure on the right spot and… | 在正确的地方用正确的力度 然后… |
| [12:24] | Uh, and that is why I am | 这就是为什么我”曾经”是 |
| [12:26] | a formerly board-certified chiropractor. | 一位具备医师资格认证的脊椎治疗师 |
| [12:35] | Oh, Santa. | 圣诞老人 |
| [12:40] | Oh, Santa! | 圣诞老人 |
| [12:44] | Oh, no. | 天啊 |
| [12:47] | Here comes Santa Claus! | 圣诞老人”来”了 |
| [12:50] | Here comes Santa Claus! | 圣诞老人”来”了 |
| [13:04] | Oh, my God. | 我的亲娘啊 |
| [13:06] | What happened? | 发生什么事了 |
| [13:07] | I saw Mommy banging Santa Claus. | 我看见我妈在跟圣诞老人打炮 |
| [13:11] | – What? – It’s 1972 all over again. | -什么 -1972年的恶梦又重演了 |
| [13:16] | We have a problem. | 我们有麻烦了 |
| [13:17] | Yes, you have a problem. | 是的 你有麻烦了 |
| [13:19] | You are the Christmas whore! | 你就是圣诞节淫妇 |
| [13:23] | Be that as it may, I think I killed Santa Claus. | 话虽如此 圣诞老人好像爽”死”了 |
| [13:26] | Oh, God! | 我的亲娘啊 |
| [13:28] | It’s exactly like 1972! | 简直跟1972年一模一样 |
| [13:34] | Is he gonna be okay? | 他会没事吗 |
| [13:35] | Yeah, It was just atrial fibrillation. | 没事的 只是心房颤动而已 |
| [13:37] | He just needs some medication and a few days rest. | 他吃点药休息几天就好了 |
| [13:39] | You hear that, sweetheart? I’ll be fine by New Year’s. | 听见了吗 亲爱的 到新年我又生龙活虎了 |
| [13:42] | I’ll be counting down till the balls drop. | 在新年球[蛋蛋]落下前我会等你的 |
| [13:48] | Well, thank God Louis didn’t see any of this. | 幸好路易斯没看见这一幕 |
| [13:50] | He would’ve been traumatized. | 不然会给他留下多大的阴影啊 |
| [13:52] | Louis? What about me? | 你还说路易斯 那我呢 |
| [13:54] | The man almost died while he was having sex with me. | 这人跟我打炮时差点就死了 |
| [13:58] | That’s not easy to get over. | 这种事你没法轻易忘怀啊 |
| [14:00] | No matter how many times it happens. | 不管之前经历过多少次 |
| [14:05] | Okay, well, all right, well, there you have it. | 好了好了 你成功了 |
| [14:07] | Merry Christmas, Louis. | 圣诞快乐 路易斯 |
| [14:08] | Your grandmother banged Santa within an inch of his life. | 你奶奶差点把圣诞老人搞死了 |
| [14:12] | Here’s half a bike! | 这是给你的半成品脚踏车 |
| [14:15] | W-We can salvage this. | 我们还可以补救 |
| [14:16] | There’s still enough time to-to finish the bike, | 还有时间完成这辆脚踏车 |
| [14:19] | wrap the other gifts and get them under the tree. | 再把其他礼物包起来放树下 |
| [14:22] | Okay, you’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [14:23] | Louis will be asleep for six more hours. | 路易斯至少还要睡六小时 |
| [14:26] | Walden? | 沃尔顿 |
| [14:27] | Oh, come on! | 不是吧 |
| [14:30] | I heard a noise. Did Santa come? | 我听到有声音 是圣诞老人来了吗 |
| [14:32] | Sadly, no. | 很可惜 他没有”来” |
| [14:40] | Where’s Evelyn? | 伊芙琳去哪里了 |
| [14:42] | Oh, well, uh… | 那个嘛 |
| [14:44] | she went to her house to play with… | 她回自己家 玩她的 |
| [14:47] | her toys. | “玩具”了 |
| [14:49] | All right, time for bed, bud. | 好 该睡觉了 |
| [14:50] | That’s right. Santa’s on his way. | 是的 圣诞老人在路上呢 |
| [14:52] | If Santa is real, | 如果圣诞老人真的存在 |
| [14:53] | then how does he get in all the kids’ houses in one night? | 他怎么能在一夜之间走遍所有孩子的家呢 |
| [14:56] | Well, he’s got Christmas magic. | 他身怀圣诞魔法嘛 |
| [15:00] | And how does he know where everybody lives? | 那他怎么知道每个人都住哪里呢 |
| [15:02] | Well… that’s the magic of Google Maps. | 那就得靠谷歌地图的魔法了 |
| [15:07] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [15:08] | Good night, buddy. Time to go to sleep. | 晚安 老弟 好好睡觉吧 |
| [15:10] | Can you guys stay with me till I fall asleep? | 你们能等我睡着再走吗 |
| [15:15] | – Sure. – Yeah. | -好吧 -没问题 |
| [15:17] | It’s not like we need to help Santa assemble toys. | 反正我们也不需要帮圣诞老人组装礼物 |
| [15:22] | He pays his elves $75 to do that. | 他付了75块让精灵们干这活了 |
| [15:27] | That’s Timothy’s spot. | 那是蒂莫西的位置 |
| [15:28] | Oh, oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [15:30] | I guess, uh… | 那我就… |
| [15:44] | Good boy. | 狗狗乖 |
| [15:53] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [15:58] | Oh, oh, my God! | 我的妈呀 |
| [15:59] | Oh, don’t flatter yourself. | 别臭美了 |
| [16:01] | I get one every morning. | 我每天早上都这么硬 |
| [16:04] | Where’s Louis? | 路易斯呢 |
| [16:06] | It’s 7:00. We fell asleep. | 七点了 我们睡着了 |
| [16:07] | Oh, crap. Th-The bike. | 糟了 那辆脚踏车 |
| [16:09] | The presents. What are we gonna do? | 还有礼物 我们该怎么办 |
| [16:11] | Well, is it too late to tell him we’re Jewish? | 现在告诉他我们是犹太人会不会太晚 |
| [16:16] | What the… | 怎么回事 |
| [16:17] | Santa came! He is real! | 圣诞老人真的来了 他真的存在哦 |
| [16:21] | Did you…? | 是你吗 |
| [16:21] | No. | 不是我 |
| [16:23] | He’s on the video. | 录像里拍到他了 |
| [16:26] | You didn’t see Grandma Evelyn wrestling with Santa, did you? | 你没看到外婆和圣诞老人”摔跤”的场面吧 |
| [16:31] | No, just Santa. | 没 就只有圣诞老人 |
| [16:35] | That’s… | 这还真是 |
| [16:36] | Santa. | 圣诞老人 |
| [16:38] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [16:40] | If the Easy Bake Oven I have always wanted | 如果树下有我一直想要的 |
| [16:42] | is under that tree, it is gonna blow my mind. | 儿童简易烤箱 我就要高兴疯了 |
| [16:45] | Can I go outside and ride my bike? | 我可以出去骑脚踏车吗 |
| [16:48] | Sure. | 可以 |
| [16:49] | – Alan, do you want to…? – Oh, yeah. Absolutely. | -艾伦 你能不能 -哦 好啊 |
| [16:53] | Uh, let’s go, buddy. | 我们走吧老弟 |
| [16:55] | Looks like we had a great Christmas | 看来我们圣诞节过得不错 |
| [16:56] | and saved $75. | 还省了了75大洋 |
| [17:14] | Rose? | 罗斯 |
| [17:17] | All right, come on, Rose, I know you’re down there. | 拜托罗斯 我知道你在下面 |
| [17:20] | Actually, I’m behind you. | 事实上 我在你后面 |
| [17:21] | Ah, son of a…! | 我了个去 |
| [17:23] | How do you do that? | 你怎么上来的 |
| [17:25] | Why do you do that?! | 你干嘛要吓我 |
| [17:27] | Oh, a girl’s got to have a little fun. | 妹子都喜欢找点乐子嘛 |
| [17:29] | Merry Christmas. | 圣诞快乐 |
| [17:30] | I-I cannot believe that you went to all that trouble for us. | 我不敢相信你为了我们如此费心 |
| [17:34] | You mean you can’t believe Santa went to all that trouble. | 你是说你不敢相信圣诞老人如此费心吧 |
| [17:37] | Okay, then I guess | 这样的话 |
| [17:39] | I need to say thank you to Santa. | 我应该给圣诞老人说谢谢 |
| [17:42] | Well, he doesn’t do it for the thanks, | 他不是为了被感谢才做的 |
| [17:44] | he does it because he genuinely wants | 而是希望他身边的人快乐 |
| [17:46] | to make the people in his life happy. | 所以才做的 |
| [17:49] | Are you happy, Walden? | 你高兴吗 沃尔顿 |
| [17:51] | I am. | 非常高兴 |
| [17:52] | I-I couldn’t have imagined a better Christmas morning. | 圣诞节早上没有比这更美好的了 |
| [17:55] | I mean, other than waking up with Alan poking me in the back. | 除了醒来发现艾伦在后面”戳”我以外 |
| [17:59] | Listen, I… | 听着 我 |
| [18:01] | I’m sorry that I said I didn’t want you around. | 抱歉我之前说不想你接近 |
| [18:05] | Oh, please. | 没关系 |
| [18:06] | It’s not like every time somebody says something mean to me, | 又不是每一次别人说我坏话 |
| [18:09] | I write it down in a big book called | 我就会把它记在一本厚书里 |
| [18:11] | “Those Who Have Wronged Me.” | 取名叫《那些年冤枉过我的人》 |
| [18:14] | That’s funny. | 这个好笑 |
| [18:15] | I think. | 我想你是说笑吧 |
| [18:17] | Well, I told you before, I just want to be your friend. | 我之前说过 我只是想做你的朋友 |
| [18:22] | Well, you are. | 你是我的朋友 |
| [18:23] | And… | 还有 |
| [18:25] | I’m sorry if I forgot that. | 抱歉之前我忘记了这件事 |
| [18:31] | Oh, hey, but how did Santa | 不过圣诞老人是怎么 |
| [18:33] | manage to put that bike together? | 把那辆脚踏车组装起来的呢 |
| [18:35] | The instructions couldn’t have been any clearer. | 说明上不是写的清清楚楚吗 |
| [18:38] | “The bolts of turning shall revolve clockwords | “转向螺栓应放在上图的零件下 |
| [18:40] | as in above figure below.” | 并按顺时针旋转” |
| [18:42] | Duh. | 这有啥难 |
| [18:44] | Yeah. Duh. | 是啊 这有啥难 |
| [18:48] | Do you guys have big plans for later? | 你们一会有什么安排吗 |
| [18:50] | Uh, no, just the usual. | 没有 就和其他人一样 |
| [18:52] | Open gifts, call family, | 拆礼物 给家人打电话 |
| [18:54] | hope that you get their voice mail. | 祈祷是语音信箱 不用真的对话 |
| [18:56] | Oh, the best part is Alan’s gonna deep-fry a turkey, | 好消息是艾伦准备油炸火鸡 |
| [18:58] | so there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll catch himself on fire. | 所以他有一半的几率会引火上身 |
| [19:02] | Oh, I got you guys a little something for the house. | 我有个家居饰品要送给你们 |
| [19:06] | And I hope that every time you look at it, | 我希望每次你们看到它 |
| [19:07] | you’ll think of me. | 就会想起我 |
| [19:11] | Oh! A cuckoo clock. | 哇 是布谷钟 |
| [19:14] | I get it. ‘Cause you’re… | 我懂了 因为你… |
| [19:17] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [19:20] | No. | 才不是 |
| [19:22] | Because it’s red like a rose. | 因为钟是玫瑰红色 |
| [19:25] | How could you hurt me on Christmas? | 你怎么能在圣诞节伤我的心呢 |
| [19:27] | I’m sorry. I-I… | 对不起我 我 |
| [19:28] | – I thought it was… – Oh, I’m just kidding. | -我以为… -我开玩笑啦 |
| [19:31] | No, it’s totally ’cause I’m cuckoo. | 原因就是因为我是疯子 |
| [19:35] | Well, Merry Christmas, Walden. | 圣诞快乐 沃尔顿 |
| [19:41] | Merry Christmas, Rose. | 圣诞快乐 罗斯 |
| [19:49] | How cute is that? It’s a tiny Rose. | 好可爱啊 是个小罗斯呢 |
| [19:53] | Wait, is that her real hair? | 这是她的真发吗 |
| [19:55] | No, it’s yours. | 不 那是你的头发 |
| [20:05] | * You better watch out, you better not cry * | * 你最好小心 你最好别哭 * |
| [20:09] | You know, | 知道吗 |
| [20:12] | this is what Christmas is all about. | 圣诞节就是应该这样 |
| [20:14] | Family, Buble? | 家人齐聚 听着布雷的歌 |
| [20:18] | deep-fried turkey. | 吃着油炸火鸡 |
| [20:20] | Life is good, Alan. | 生活真美好 艾伦 |
| [20:21] | Hmm. It is. | 你说得对 |
| [20:31] | Um, can you cut mine for me? | 你能帮我切一下肉吗 |
| [20:33] | Deep-fried fingers. | 我手指也被油炸了 |
| [20:44] | – That was sweet of Rose. – Yeah. | -罗斯真是好姑娘 -没错 |
| [20:46] | You know, I-I’ve always been so cynical of her. | 我一直对她那么刻薄 |
| [20:48] | Maybe she does just want to be friends, you know? | 也许她真的只想做朋友呢 |
| [20:51] | * Now, he sees you when you’re sleeping… * | * 现在睡觉时 他也会看着你 * |