| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | – I’m not gay. – Does Alan know? | -我不是同性恋 -艾伦知道吗 |
| [00:06] | – Can we kiss again? – Yeah. | -我们可以继续亲了吗 -好 |
| [00:08] | – Do you want to go up to my… – Let’s go. | -但你愿不愿意跟我上楼… -走 |
| [00:11] | Walden, can you come here? | 沃顿 你能过来吗 |
| [00:14] | It’s fine. I-I’ve waited for two years. | 没事 我都等两年了 |
| [00:16] | I can wait a little bit longer. | 不在乎多等一会儿 |
| [00:18] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [00:23] | Parenting rule number four: sleep is better than sex. | 家长准则第四条 睡觉比上床好 |
| [00:29] | All right, Louis, | 好了 路易斯 |
| [00:30] | let’s go over the rules again. | 我们再说一遍规矩 |
| [00:32] | We don’t talk to strangers. | 不跟陌生人说话 |
| [00:33] | Don’t climb the rock wall alone. | 不自己去攀岩 |
| [00:35] | And? | 还有呢 |
| [00:37] | We don’t eat anything we find in the ball pit. | 不许吃在海洋球池里捡的东西 |
| [00:41] | All right, now, go have fun. | 好啦 去吧 玩开心点 |
| [00:43] | All right, Alan, | 来吧 艾伦 |
| [00:44] | let’s go over your rules. | 来过一遍你的规矩 |
| [00:46] | Uh, if I find a wallet, I have to turn it in. | 如果捡到皮包 必须上交归还 |
| [00:49] | Uh, no haggling over the corn dog prices. | 不许跟小吃摊贩杀价 |
| [00:53] | And? | 还有呢 |
| [00:54] | No standing underneath the moms | 不许站在攀岩墙下 |
| [00:56] | – on the rock wall. – The rock wall. Yes. | -盯着别家妈妈 -墙下盯人家 |
| [00:59] | – Oh, great. – What? | -这下好了 -怎么了 |
| [01:02] | Laurel’s here. | 罗洛儿来了 |
| [01:04] | So go talk to her. | 那去跟人家说话啊 |
| [01:06] | What am I supposed to say? “I’m sorry about our date. | 说什么啊 “上次约会对不起了 |
| [01:08] | It’s just that I prefer sleeping with a six-year-old kid | 只是我宁愿跟六岁的孩子一起睡 |
| [01:10] | to sleeping with you.” | 也不跟你睡” |
| [01:12] | Oh, oh, it’s okay. I’m-I’m talking about my own son. | 没事的 我是在说自己的儿子 |
| [01:17] | You know, maybe I’ll just avoid her. | 我还是回避她吧 |
| [01:18] | If I wanted to avoid every woman I ever embarrassed myself in front of, | 如果我要回避每一个在她们面前丢过脸的女人 |
| [01:21] | I’d never leave the house. | 那我这辈子都出不了门 |
| [01:23] | I’d even have to steer clear of the UPS lady. | 连快递小姐来了我都得闪边 |
| [01:26] | She looked in the window and caught me… | 因为她从窗外看到了我在屋里… |
| [01:28] | handling my own package. | “处理自己裆中包裹” |
| [01:31] | You know, it’s not the things that you do, | 其实不见得是你做的事有问题 |
| [01:33] | so much as the way that you say them. | 你事情的方式才是最大问题 |
| [01:36] | No, no. | 不对不对 |
| [01:36] | It-It’s also the things that you do. | 你做的事本身就很有问题 |
| [01:39] | Okay, you know, I just wish there was a way to, like, | 我只是希望能有一种方法 |
| [01:41] | jump over the awkwardness | 可以直接跳过尴尬期 |
| [01:42] | and get right into the conversation with her. | 回到跟她有说有笑的阶段 |
| [01:44] | You know what, I think I can… I can help you with that. | 我应该有方法可以帮到你哦 |
| [01:46] | Laurel! | 罗洛儿 |
| [01:49] | Look who’s here! And awake! | 你看谁来了 没在睡觉哦 |
| [01:52] | Hey, guys. | 你们好啊 |
| [01:53] | I’ll, uh… I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. | 我就不打扰你们这对小情人了 |
| [01:56] | I’m gonna go check on Louis. | 我要去看一下路易斯 |
| [01:57] | Hey, remember how we used to have to pretend to be gay? | 还记得我们以前还得假装是同性恋夫妇吗 |
| [02:00] | Crazy, right? | 太疯狂了 对吧 |
| [02:04] | I’m sorry I didn’t call. | 抱歉我没打给你 |
| [02:07] | And I’m-I’m sorry | 同时也很抱歉 |
| [02:08] | I fell asleep instead of having sex with you. I… | 我睡着了 而没去跟你做爱 |
| [02:11] | Will you stop walking by? | 你可以别再路过了吗 |
| [02:15] | I really am sorry. | 我真的很抱歉 |
| [02:17] | I’m not mad. | 我没有生气啊 |
| [02:18] | Though you are now in my phone as Rip Van Walden. | 只是我现在手机里 你的名字是”周公沃顿” |
| [02:22] | I’m sorry, what was that? I just nodded off. | 抱歉 你刚说什么了 我刚才睡着了 |
| [02:27] | So, what you been up to? | 最近好吗 |
| [02:28] | Oh, you know, not much. Just… | 没啥特别的 |
| [02:30] | training for a marathon, | 就练习跑马拉松 |
| [02:32] | developing an international photo sharing app, | 开发一个国际化照片分享手机软件 |
| [02:34] | and I’m writing a young adult novel. | 以及写一本青年小说 |
| [02:36] | Wow. Really? | 真的吗 |
| [02:37] | No, I have a six-year-old. | 我有个六岁的孩子 |
| [02:39] | All I do is come here and eat food on a stick. | 我整天就是来这里以及吃棒子上的食物 |
| [02:45] | Well, do you want to… maybe… | 你想不想…再带小孩… |
| [02:46] | schedule another playdate? | 来家里玩一次吗 |
| [02:48] | I would love that. | 我当然想啊 |
| [02:49] | I mean, Lily would love that. Oh. | 我的意思是莉莉会很想 |
| [02:51] | Louis would also love it. | 路易斯也会很想 |
| [02:54] | Imagine all the… games | 想象一下 他们一起玩 |
| [02:56] | that they would play together. | 各式各样的”游戏” |
| [02:57] | Yeah. And all the, uh, toys they would play with. | 以及他们一起玩的各种”玩具” |
| [03:01] | Toys? I-I hope none of them are… | 玩具吗 我只希望里面没有 |
| [03:04] | a choking hazard. | 会噎到喉咙的东西 |
| [03:06] | Wouldn’t matter to me. | 像我就不怕这个 |
| [03:08] | I don’t have a gag reflex. | 我喉咙被”顶”到不会反胃 |
| [03:27] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [03:28] | How’s the neck? | 脖子还好吗 |
| [03:30] | Not good. | 不好 |
| [03:31] | Yeah. Well, I told you not to stand under | 我跟你说了别站在攀岩的 |
| [03:33] | that mom on the rock wall. | 那个妈妈下面看人家 |
| [03:36] | That’s why we have rules! | 这就是为什么要订规矩 |
| [03:39] | Yeah, well, wearing underwear on the rock wall | 攀岩的时候要穿内裤 |
| [03:41] | should be one of those. | 也应该在规矩里 |
| [03:45] | Hey, Louis, are you excited about your playdate with Lily? | 路易斯 能跟莉莉玩 你兴奋吗 |
| [03:47] | I guess. | 大概吧 |
| [03:48] | “I guess.” | “大概吧” |
| [03:52] | You got a cute girl coming over here. | 有个可爱的小姑娘要过来 |
| [03:54] | You should be popping in the… | 你应该去把 |
| [03:56] | Kidz Bop Slow Jamz | 儿童慢歌播放起来 |
| [03:58] | and putting some Sunny D on ice. | 然后倒杯加冰的果汁啊 |
| [04:00] | Do I have to share my Legos with her? | 我得跟她分享我的乐高吗 |
| [04:02] | Of course not. It’s a playdate. You’re not marrying her. | 当然不用 只是来一起玩 又不是要结婚 |
| [04:06] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [04:07] | Yes, we should share everything we can– | 当然要啊 我们应该分享一切能分享的事物 |
| [04:10] | our toys, our books, our… | 我们的玩具 我们的书 我们的… |
| [04:12] | sausage links. | 香肠 |
| [04:15] | If I could move my neck, | 如果我的脖子能动 |
| [04:16] | I’d give you such a look right now. | 我绝对会给你”好脸色”看 |
| [04:18] | The lesson is that we should all share. | 这是要教我们要懂得分享 |
| [04:21] | Okay. I got to poop. | 好吧 我要去上大号 |
| [04:24] | Whoa! Whoa, what are you doing? | 等等 你这是干嘛 |
| [04:26] | Sharing. | 分享 |
| [04:28] | No. No, that’s taking! | 不 不 这是白拿 |
| [04:30] | That’s my job in this house! | 这本来是我在家该干的事 |
| [04:35] | So what’s the deal? | 所以是怎么了 |
| [04:36] | Pinched nerve? Slipped disk? | 神经压迫 颈椎突出 |
| [04:39] | The official diagnosis? You’re old. | 想听正式的诊断结果吗 你老了 |
| [04:42] | Very funny. I’d like a second opinion. | 真会开玩笑 我要听别人说 |
| [04:44] | All right, you’re also out of shape. | 好啦 你是身材走样了 |
| [04:47] | Come on, I’m in decent shape for my age. | 屁咧 我这身材算保持得很好了 |
| [04:51] | Look, Alan, when you get to be our age, | 艾伦 到了我们这把年纪 |
| [04:53] | you get a little more fragile. | 人会变得比较脆弱 |
| [04:54] | You-you don’t bounce back as easily. | 身体复原没有这么容易 |
| [04:56] | The only thing that bounces back is that belly when I poke it. | 唯一会立刻复原的是按下去的小肚腩 |
| [05:00] | Stop it. | 别闹了 |
| [05:01] | I used to be in the same boat as you. | 我以前也曾经像你一样 |
| [05:03] | Then I found this awesome new gym, | 直到后来我发现一家超棒的健身房 |
| [05:05] | put myself on a regular workout program. | 加入了规律的训练项目 |
| [05:07] | Now I’m in the best shape of my life. | 我现在的身材达到了人生巅峰 |
| [05:09] | Surprised you didn’t notice. | 真惊讶你居然没发现 |
| [05:11] | Oh. Oh, yeah. You, uh… you look great. | 有啊 你看起来很棒 |
| [05:13] | It’s too late, Alan. The damage has been done. | 晚了 艾伦 伤过的心你修不回 |
| [05:16] | You should come down and work out with me. | 你应该跟我一起去健身 |
| [05:17] | It’s, uh, nothing but hot women in yoga pants | 目不暇接的瑜伽裤辣妹 |
| [05:20] | as far as the eye can see. | 看都看不完 |
| [05:21] | Sure, it’s a little creepy if you look right at ’em, | 当然直勾勾地盯着人家 的确是有些变态 |
| [05:23] | but, uh, there are mirrors everywhere. | 不过健身房到处都是镜子 |
| [05:27] | Yeah. I guess I could break out the old headband and leg warmers. | 我的确也是可以让我的头带和长筒袜重出江湖 |
| [05:31] | Great. Hey, uh, since I got you here, | 太好了 对了 难得你送上门 |
| [05:33] | it’s, uh… it’s been a year since your last prostate exam. | 你有一年没做前列腺检查了哦 |
| [05:36] | Oh, no. | 不是吧 |
| [05:37] | If it makes you feel any better, you get a lollipop afterwards. | 检查完会有棒棒糖吃哦 这样你会开心点吗 |
| [05:40] | Well, I’ve done a lot more for a lot less. | 为了更烂的东西 我都能更无下限了 |
| [05:54] | It’s like the eye of a hurricane. | 这就像是台风眼一样 |
| [05:56] | It’s eerily quiet now, but in an hour | 现在静得出奇 但是再过一小时 |
| [05:57] | everything will be broken and wet. | 台风眼过了后 又是破坏与大雨 |
| [06:02] | Well, at least I’m not the only one who falls asleep | 至少我不是唯一一个有可爱姑娘在身旁 |
| [06:04] | when cute girls are around. | 却还睡着的男人了 |
| [06:07] | Aw. Thanks so much for having us. | 谢谢你邀请我们过来 |
| [06:10] | I’m very impressed with this spread. | 我很意外这个摆盘 |
| [06:11] | What kind of cheese is this? | 这是什么起司啊 |
| [06:16] | Okay, I have to confess. | 我得坦白 |
| [06:18] | They’re Lunchables. | 这是午餐便宜起司 |
| [06:21] | That’s the yellow cheese, | 这是黄色起司 |
| [06:23] | but I also have the orange and the white. | 我还有橙色跟白色的 |
| [06:26] | No. No, thanks. I’m gonna save room for the Fruit Roll-Up. | 不用了 我还得留点肚子吃便宜糖果呢 |
| [06:30] | So tell me, | 告诉我 |
| [06:31] | how is it that a guy like you is not already married | 像你这样的男人怎么没结婚呢 老婆应该是… |
| [06:34] | to some– I don’t know– gorgeous swimsuit model? | 打个比方好了 泳装模特啊 |
| [06:37] | Okay, you obviously haven’t seen Alan in a Speedo. | 你一定是没看过艾伦穿三角泳裤 |
| [06:41] | I’m-I’m serious. | 我是说认真的 |
| [06:43] | You’re sweet, you’re good-looking, you’re successful. | 你很贴心 很帅气 又成功 |
| [06:46] | What the hell is wrong with you? | 你到底是哪里有问题 |
| [06:48] | Okay. I’ve been told… | 有人跟我说过 |
| [06:52] | that I listen too much. | 我倾听别人太多了 |
| [06:55] | Which is a common problem | 但这问题对于 |
| [06:57] | among men whose penises are too large. | 胯下有大雕的男人来说 是很常见的 |
| [07:03] | Uh, well, I-I also have this… | 我还有一个… |
| [07:05] | this teeny, tiny quirk where, uh, | 小小的问题 |
| [07:08] | I screw up relationships as soon as they start going well. | 一旦感情开始进展顺利 就会被我搞砸 |
| [07:12] | Oh. That’s encouraging. | 真”振奋士气”啊 |
| [07:14] | Oh, oh. No, no, no. But don’t worry, uh, | 别别 不用担心 |
| [07:16] | ’cause this isn’t going well at all. | 因为我们进展一点都不顺利啊 |
| [07:20] | Well, I’m glad to hear you say that | 我很高兴听到你这么说 |
| [07:21] | ’cause… I was about to leave. | 因为我刚才差点要走了 |
| [07:27] | Mmm, okay. That-that kind of behavior | 这种行为是会让你 |
| [07:29] | can get you put in time-out. | 被叫去一边罚站的哦 |
| [07:32] | Time-outs don’t work on me. | 罚站对我没用 |
| [07:34] | I need to be spanked. | 我需要被打屁股 |
| [07:41] | Looks like someone needs to be sent to my room. | 看来某人应该要进我房间里去反省禁足哦 |
| [07:49] | Wow. Look at the Lululemons on her. | 看她身上那件”瑜伽裤” |
| [07:53] | Did I tell you or did I tell you? | 我就跟你说吧 |
| [07:55] | Yeah. Be cool, though. | 别太痴汉 |
| [07:56] | Getting tagged as a lurker is a hard label to shake. | 被人贴上变态的标签可是很难洗清的 |
| [07:58] | So I’ve heard. | 我也是听别人说的啦 |
| [08:00] | Oh, oh, check out the redhead. | 你看那边的红发妞 |
| [08:02] | Her shorts say “Juicy.” | 她的裤子上写着”多汁”[品牌] |
| [08:03] | If our garments are being honest, | 如果我们的服饰要反映出内心想法 |
| [08:05] | mine would say “Aroused.” | 那我的应该是”性奋” |
| [08:08] | Ooh, look at the blonde on the yoga ball. | 看那边做瑜伽球健身的金发妞 |
| [08:10] | Mmm, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy… | 我弹 我弹 我弹弹弹 |
| [08:13] | Lyndsey? | 林赛 |
| [08:14] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [08:16] | How did I not recognize her? | 我怎么会没认出是她 |
| [08:17] | I’ve got to look at more faces. | 我得多去看看新的人了 |
| [08:19] | I didn’t know you were a member here. | 我都不知道你也是这里的会员 |
| [08:22] | Herb. | 赫伯 |
| [08:23] | I see they’ve reinstated your membership. | 看来你的会员资格被复原了 |
| [08:25] | The appeals process was arduous, | 上诉的过程虽然辛苦 |
| [08:27] | but, ultimately, justice was served. | 但最后 正义还了我清白 |
| [08:30] | So, uh, how’s everything? | 最近好吗 |
| [08:31] | Good. I’m sober again. | 很好啊 我戒酒了 |
| [08:33] | I traded booze for exercise. | 我把喝酒改成来运动 |
| [08:35] | You know, whenever I want a drink, I come here instead. | 只要我想喝酒了 我就来这里运动 |
| [08:38] | Good thing this place is open 24 hours. | 幸好这里24小时都开 |
| [08:40] | Well, I’m really happy for you. You look great. | 我真为你高兴 你状况看起来很棒 |
| [08:44] | I also think you look great. | 我也觉得你看起来很棒 |
| [08:45] | In fact, as a medical professional, | 其实 作为一个从医人员 |
| [08:47] | my opinion is “wowza.” | 我的评语是”赞啊” |
| [08:49] | Thanks. Anyway, I got to go. | 谢谢 我得走了 |
| [08:52] | It’s time for my spin class. | 我的健身车课要开始了 |
| [08:53] | Oh, so, uh… so you went from a-a room | 所以你从天旋地转的房间 |
| [08:55] | that was spinning to a room for spinning. | 改成去一个轮胎旋转的房间 |
| [08:59] | You know… glug, glug, glug, glug. | 你懂的 喝喝喝 |
| [09:06] | Anyway, great seeing you. | 好啦 很高兴再见到你 |
| [09:09] | I missed this. | 我真”怀念”这个啊 |
| [09:12] | Wow, she looks amazing. | 她看起来真棒 |
| [09:13] | Did you see how flat her stomach is? | 你看到她小腹多平坦了吗 |
| [09:14] | She’s always had great abs. All that dry heaving | 她的腹肌一直很棒 酒后干呕 |
| [09:16] | gives you a hell of a six-pack. | 练出的六块腹肌可不是盖的 |
| [09:18] | So, uh, you two are over? | 那… 你们俩结束了吗 |
| [09:20] | Oh, yeah. You know, it’s complicated with me and Walden and Louis. | 算吧 毕竟我跟沃顿还有路易斯的事很复杂 |
| [09:23] | Plus, you know, I don’t know that | 而且我也不知道 |
| [09:24] | Lyndsey and I were ever really good for each other. | 林赛和我到底适不适合在一起 |
| [09:27] | Kind of like me and lactose. | 就像我与乳糖[拉肚子]一样 |
| [09:29] | That’s too bad. Mmm. | 太遗憾了 |
| [09:31] | Mind if I take a crack at her? | 你不介意我泡她吧 |
| [09:32] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:33] | You two aren’t together anymore. | 你们俩都不在一起了 |
| [09:35] | Maybe the cure for what ails her is a little Herb-Al essence. | 也许她需要的是一点草本[赫伯]”精华” |
| [09:39] | Dude, you already married my ex-wife, | 兄弟 你已经娶过我的前妻 |
| [09:42] | you moved into my house, and earlier today | 搬进过我的房子 今天早些时候 |
| [09:44] | you had your finger halfway to my liver. | 你的手指都伸进去到能顶到我肾了 |
| [09:46] | Maybe we share enough as it is. | 或许我们俩分享的事物太多了 |
| [09:48] | Okay, I get it. Bro code. | 行 我懂 兄弟法则嘛 |
| [09:51] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:53] | Just so you know, that exam was no picnic for me, either. | 但我不得不说 帮你检查我也一样难受好吗 |
| [10:01] | Did you hear that? | 你听到了吗 |
| [10:03] | I think it was the kids downstairs. | 好像是孩子们在楼下的声音 |
| [10:04] | What kids? | 什么孩子 |
| [10:08] | You’re right. It was probably nothing. | 你说得对 应该没事 |
| [10:14] | Oh, wait. What if one of them walks in on us? | 等等 要是孩子们突然闯进来怎么办 |
| [10:18] | I had a hard enough time explaining where milk comes from. | 我上次解释牛奶是怎么来的 已经够辛苦了 |
| [10:21] | Do you want to lock the door? | 你想把门锁上吗 |
| [10:23] | Yes. | 好啊 |
| [10:32] | Oh, no, no, no. | 等等 等一下 |
| [10:33] | What if there’s an emergency? | 如果出了紧急情况怎么办 |
| [10:35] | What if they need to come get us? | 如果他们要找我们呢 |
| [10:36] | What-what… what if there’s a burglar or a fire, | 如果 如果有小偷或者起火了 |
| [10:38] | or a burglar who sets a fire as a distraction? | 又或者是小偷纵火来转移注意力怎么办 |
| [10:41] | Oh, no, no. | 不行 |
| [10:43] | Not on my watch! | 在我眼皮底下可不能发生这种事 |
| [10:45] | Oh, my God, you’re adorable. | 我的天 你真是可爱 |
| [10:48] | But if you can’t stop worrying all the time, | 如果你老是担心这担心那 |
| [10:50] | you’re never gonna have sex again. | 你永远也滚不了床单了 |
| [10:53] | Oh, my God. | 我的妈呀 |
| [10:55] | I’m never gonna have sex again. | 我永远也滚不了床单了 |
| [10:58] | You’re used to single-people sex. | 你已经习惯了单身滚床单的方式 |
| [11:00] | That’s a luxurious four-course meal at a fine restaurant. | 就像是顶级餐厅慢慢享用的豪华佳肴 |
| [11:04] | Parent sex is a drive-through. | 父母滚床单的方式更像是得来速 |
| [11:06] | Get in, get out, | 进去 出来 |
| [11:07] | hope you don’t get anything on your shirt. | 不要沾到衣服上就不错了 |
| [11:10] | Looks like your order just got supersized. | 你的点餐刚才自动升级加大了 |
| [11:18] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [11:19] | Yes! Coming! Right there! | 来了 马上 马上来 |
| [11:22] | Oh, God, are you okay? | 天啊 你没事吧 |
| [11:24] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [11:25] | Good news is, you finally got my bra off. | 好消息是 你总算解开我的胸罩了 |
| [11:38] | Morning. | 早 |
| [11:39] | Morning. Where’s Louis? | 早 路易斯呢 |
| [11:41] | I sent him to take a bath. | 我让他去洗澡了 |
| [11:42] | Oh, by the way, if you want syrup on your French toast, | 如果你想在法式吐司上加糖浆 |
| [11:45] | catch him before he hits the water. | 赶在他下水前抓住他 |
| [11:47] | No. No French toast for me. | 不 我不吃法式吐司 |
| [11:48] | I’m hitting the gym a little later. | 一会儿我要去健身房 |
| [11:49] | Oh, uh, by the way, the beach is that way. | 对了 海滩在那个方向哦 |
| [11:55] | Oh, look at that. | 看看 |
| [11:56] | Uh, my fitness band says that my pulse rate is 87. | 我的健身手环说我的脉搏是87呢 |
| [12:00] | Tell me when it gets to zero. | 等它变成0的时候再通知我 |
| [12:02] | Yeah, joke all you want, | 哈哈 随便你开玩笑吧 |
| [12:04] | but this little gizmo tracks all my physical activity. | 但这个小玩意可以记录我所有的活动 |
| [12:06] | So far today, I have burned… 400 calories. | 到现在为止 我今天已经燃烧了400卡路里 |
| [12:10] | Oh, wow. Did you go for a run? | 哇 你出去跑步了吗 |
| [12:12] | Nope, never left my bed. | 没 我就没下过床 |
| [12:13] | Oh, come on! | 拜托 |
| [12:17] | So, how was your playdate with Laurel? | 你和罗洛儿玩得开心吗 |
| [12:19] | Okay, let-let me… let me ask you guys something. | 我…我问你们一件事 |
| [12:22] | When you had young kids, and they were still in the house, | 你们以前有小孩在家时 |
| [12:24] | did you have a hard time, like… you know… | 是不是很难有机会做那个 你懂的… |
| [12:32] | Oh, well, Jake walked in on Judith and me countless times. | 杰克撞见我和朱蒂斯好多次 |
| [12:35] | Eventually, we stopped having sex altogether. | 最后我们终于再也不滚床单了 |
| [12:39] | Those aren’t related. | 当然两者之间没直接关系 |
| [12:41] | I just… I don’t know what to do. | 我只是不知道该怎么做 |
| [12:42] | It’s like, Louis is stealing your sausage and blocking mine. | 路易斯不光偷了你的香肠 也挡了我的”香肠” |
| [12:46] | Well, sooner or later, you just get over it. | 以后你就不会在意这种事了 |
| [12:48] | Uh, but in the meantime, why don’t you take her out | 你干嘛不带她去酒店 |
| [12:50] | for a romantic night to a hotel? | 共度美好一晚呢 |
| [12:54] | Oh. I like that. | 我喜欢这主意 |
| [12:55] | Plus, people do all kinds of things in hotels | 再说了 人们在酒店总会做 |
| [12:57] | they don’t do at home. | 在家不会做的事 |
| [12:58] | Like pay eight dollars for peanuts. | 比如花八块钱买一包花生吃 |
| [13:01] | I used to love to have sex in hotel rooms. | 我以前可喜欢在酒店滚床单了 |
| [13:04] | Then they caught me, and they fired me. | 后来他们发现了 就把我给炒了 |
| [13:21] | Do you want to work in? | 你是不是想用它锻炼啊 |
| [13:22] | What? | 啥 |
| [13:24] | Oh, oh, uh, work in, yeah. | 哦 对 锻炼 |
| [13:26] | Uh, definitely want to work in. | 当然是想锻炼了 |
| [13:27] | Why else would I be sitting here? | 不然我坐在这里干什么呢 |
| [13:29] | – Thanks. – No problem. | -谢谢 -不客气 |
| [13:34] | Just, uh, show you the proper technique. | 让我给你示范一下正确技巧吧 |
| [13:39] | Here we go. | 开始了 |
| [13:49] | Bum shoulder. Yeah. | 肩膀不好 |
| [13:51] | Got it the last Iron Man. | 上次看《钢铁侠》时伤到了 |
| [13:53] | The movie, not the triathlon. | 我是说电影 不是铁人三项 |
| [13:56] | I slipped in the lobby on some artificial butter. | 在电影大厅踩到黄油滑倒了 |
| [13:59] | There we go, lighten the load, and, uh… | 减轻一点重量 |
| [14:02] | One time, here we go. | 好了 开始 |
| [14:12] | Oh, God! | 我的妈呀 |
| [14:18] | Nice meeting you! | 很高兴认识你 |
| [14:21] | Hey, Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [14:22] | Oh. Oh, hey, Lyndsey. | 林赛 你好 |
| [14:23] | Yeah, I was just, uh… | 我只是在 |
| [14:25] | I was just doing the, uh, the fly machine. | 我只是在玩这个扩胸机器 |
| [14:26] | You know, working out. | 锻炼锻炼 |
| [14:28] | You’re really committing to this workout thing. | 你对锻炼这事还真上心啊 |
| [14:30] | I’m impressed. | 我很吃惊 |
| [14:31] | I know. I haven’t been anyplace two days in a row | 我知道 自从泽西男孩巡演以来 |
| [14:34] | since Jersey Boys was touring. | 我都没连续两天去过一个地方了 |
| [14:37] | – Where’s Herb? – Uh, in the office. | -赫伯呢 -他上班呢 |
| [14:39] | He got all excited about an outbreak of pinkeye. | 他很开心 最近流行红眼病 |
| [14:41] | When kids see pink, Herb sees green. | 孩子们得到红眼睛 霍伯得到绿票子 |
| [14:44] | Well, tell him I said “Hi.” | 告诉他我向他问好 |
| [14:45] | Oh, I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. | 我不知道这样做好不好 |
| [14:48] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [14:49] | Well, get this. | 是这样的 |
| [14:50] | Uh, after we saw you the other day, | 上次我们见到你后 |
| [14:52] | he wanted to know if it was okay to ask you out. | 他想问我可不可以约你出来 |
| [14:55] | But don’t worry. I told him no. | 别担心 我拒绝了他 |
| [14:58] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:59] | You have no right to decide who I go out with. | 你没权利决定我该和谁约会吧 |
| [15:03] | Oh, come on, Lyndsey. I mean, how would you feel | 林赛 要是我和你的朋友约会 |
| [15:04] | if one of your friends wanted to go out with me? | 你会怎么想呢 |
| [15:06] | Shocked, stunned, like I need new friends. | 震惊 大受打击 马上去找新朋友 |
| [15:11] | Look, I am just trying to help. | 我只是想帮你而已 |
| [15:13] | You just got sober. | 你刚戒了酒 |
| [15:14] | I mean, before you move onto somebody else, | 你开始约会之前 |
| [15:15] | you should probably get over your breakup with Captain Morgan. | 应该先忘掉你和摩根船长牌朗姆酒分手的痛苦 |
| [15:18] | Are you freaking kidding me?! | 你他妈的在逗我吗 |
| [15:20] | If I want to go out with Herb, it is none of your business. | 如果我想和赫伯约会 也不管你的事 |
| [15:22] | In fact, nothing I do is any of your business! | 我不管做什么事都和你无关 |
| [15:25] | Just stay the hell out of my life! | 我的生活不用你管 |
| [15:30] | Roid rage. | 吃类固醇易怒 |
| [15:42] | Okay. | 不错 |
| [15:44] | This was officially a great idea. | 现在看来这主意真是好啊 |
| [15:46] | Did you like the way I checked us in? | 喜欢我们登记入住的名字吗 |
| [15:48] | Mr. And Mrs. R. Doinit? | 甘德欢夫妇 |
| [15:51] | Um, I like to go by my maiden name– | 我喜欢我的中间名 |
| [15:53] | Gettin’ Some. | 性福 |
| [15:55] | Hey, check this out. | 看这个 |
| [15:59] | I just walked across the floor without stepping on a Lego. | 我光脚走在地上 一个乐高玩具都踩不到 |
| [16:04] | Look, there’s chocolate on the pillows, | 看啊 枕头上有巧克力 |
| [16:05] | and it’s not even in the shape of a handprint. | 居然不是巧克力手印 |
| [16:08] | Oh. Get over here, woman. Uh-uh. | 过来 你这女人 |
| [16:10] | No, no. I’ve got a surprise for you. | 不 我给你准备了惊喜 |
| [16:12] | A surprise? | 惊喜 |
| [16:13] | Yay! What is it? | 棒哦 是什么 |
| [16:15] | Oh, I’ll give you a hint. | 给你个提示 |
| [16:17] | It’s lacy, it’s new, and you get to bite the tags off. | 有蕾丝 全新的 你得咬掉商标 |
| [16:22] | If it’s big enough to have tags on it, | 如果大到可以贴商标 |
| [16:24] | I already don’t like it. | 那我不喜欢了 |
| [16:33] | Alan, what are you doing here? | 艾伦 你来干嘛 |
| [16:35] | Well, I felt bad about earlier, and I wanted to apologize. | 之前的事我很抱歉 所以我来跟你道歉 |
| [16:38] | These are for you. | 这给你 |
| [16:39] | For me, huh? | 给我的吗 |
| [16:43] | “Mr. Schmidt, thank you so much for your generous donation | “施密特先生 感谢您对儿童医院 |
| [16:46] | to the children’s hospital.” | 慷慨捐助” |
| [16:48] | Um, I-I did not see that. | 我没看到那个 |
| [16:52] | Is that the pizza guy? | 送披萨的来了吗 |
| [16:58] | Herb? | 赫伯 |
| [16:59] | Alan, what are you doing here? | 艾伦 你来这干嘛 |
| [17:00] | What are you doing here, | 你才来这干嘛 |
| [17:01] | and… and why are you wearing my robe? | 还有 你怎么穿着我的睡袍 |
| [17:04] | I’ll let you guys talk. | 你们二位先聊 |
| [17:07] | Alan, you showing up here is the second best thing | 艾伦 你能来是今天 |
| [17:09] | that’s happened to me today. | 第二好的好事 |
| [17:15] | What the hell, Herb? | 搞什么鬼 赫伯 |
| [17:16] | Believe me, I had no intention of going behind your back, | 相信我 我本来没想背着你行动 |
| [17:19] | but out of nowhere, Lyndsey invited me over for dinner, | 但林赛突然就邀请我来吃晚饭 |
| [17:21] | and I thought, “What’s the harm?” | 我想”又不会掉块肉” |
| [17:23] | Well, then, dinner turned into dessert, | 结果晚饭吃完吃甜点 |
| [17:25] | and dessert turned into, well, sex with Lyndsey. | 甜点吃完… 吃林赛 |
| [17:29] | This hurts, Herb. | 太痛心了 赫伯 |
| [17:30] | Yesterday you were tickling my prostate, | 昨天你咯吱我前列腺 |
| [17:32] | and today you’re stabbing me in the back. | 今天就在背后捅我 |
| [17:34] | Hey, it’s your fault. | 都怪你 |
| [17:35] | You made me forbidden fruit. | 把我变成了诱人禁果 |
| [17:37] | I was off-limits, like dancing in Footloose. | 让人无法触碰 就像在《浑身是劲》里跳舞 |
| [17:42] | Look, I’m sorry it happened like this. | 听着 抱歉发生了这样的事 |
| [17:45] | And, well, if you want me to stop seeing her, | 如果你不希望我再见她 |
| [17:46] | just say the word, and it’s over. | 你一句话的事 都可以结束 |
| [17:49] | Herb? | 赫伯 |
| [17:49] | Well, you had your chance. | 你错失良机了 |
| [17:59] | What do you think? | 你喜欢吗 |
| [18:01] | It’s horrible. Take it off. | 太丑了 赶紧脱掉 |
| [18:11] | No! | 不要啊 |
| [18:13] | It’s okay. Get it. | 没关系 去看吧 |
| [18:18] | Okay, babysitter wants to know | 好 保姆想知道 |
| [18:20] | if Lily can have ice cream for dessert. | 莉莉的甜点可不可以吃冰淇淋 |
| [18:23] | “Don’t care. Getting laid.” | “不想管 性事忙” |
| [18:27] | No, I just wrote “Yes.” | 没有 我只发了”可以” |
| [18:30] | Oh, hey, you know, next time, we should just get one babysitter, | 下一次 我们可以请一个保姆 |
| [18:33] | and then Louis can sleep over with Lily at my house, | 让路易斯和莉莉都住在我家 |
| [18:37] | and I can sleep over with you at your house. | 我和你去你家睡 |
| [18:40] | Yeah, maybe. | 再看吧 |
| [18:43] | Wait, wait, whoa, hold on. | 等等 等一下 |
| [18:45] | Do you not want there to be a next time? | 你不希望有下一次了吗 |
| [18:48] | I mean, please reserve your judgment | 请将意见保留到 |
| [18:50] | until after the first time. | 第一次结束之后 |
| [18:52] | I rarely disappoint a woman sexually before we have sex. | 我极少在开始做爱前 就让女人意性阑珊 |
| [18:57] | No, it’s just… all kids have their differences. | 不是的 只是孩子都各有不同 |
| [19:01] | But I don’t want to talk about Louis and Lily right now. | 但我现在不想讨论路易斯和莉莉 |
| [19:04] | In fact, I don’t want to talk at all. | 事实上 我什么都不想说 |
| [19:06] | I got better things to do with my mouth. | 我的嘴巴还有更好的地方要发挥 |
| [19:10] | Wait a second. Wait a second. Hold on. | 等一下 等一下 |
| [19:11] | Wait. Louis and Lily don’t get along? | 路易斯和莉莉相处不来吗 |
| [19:14] | Well, you know how kids are. | 都是孩子嘛 |
| [19:15] | One week, they like each other; the next, they don’t. | 俩人这一周好 下一周不好的 |
| [19:17] | So Louis doesn’t like to share. | 路易斯不喜欢分享 |
| [19:19] | Lucky for you, I do. | 你倒走运 因为我喜欢 |
| [19:23] | Louis does not have a problem sharing. | 路易斯没有不爱分享 |
| [19:25] | In fact, I just talked to him specifically about sharing. | 事实上 我刚跟他谈完分享精神 |
| [19:29] | I’m sorry. Lily must have made it up. | 抱歉 一定是莉莉编的 |
| [19:32] | That’s probably it. Okay. | 可能是这样 |
| [19:35] | Wait a second. | 等等 |
| [19:36] | So you’re okay with saying that Lily’s a liar, | 所以你宁可相信莉莉是骗子 |
| [19:39] | but you can’t admit that Louis has issues? | 也不承认路易斯有问题吗 |
| [19:41] | Oh. Okay, hold on. | 等一下 |
| [19:43] | I think I would know if my son has issues. | 我儿子要是有问题我肯定知道 |
| [19:45] | Right, ’cause you’ve been a parent for all of, what, | 对啊 你都当了多久家长了 |
| [19:47] | two weeks? | 两周吗 |
| [19:49] | Two and a half. | 两个半 |
| [19:51] | And fancy you lecturing me. | 你还敢教育我 |
| [19:53] | The mother of Lily the biter. | 咬人莉莉之母 |
| [19:55] | What? Lily’s not a biter. | 什么 莉莉才不咬人 |
| [19:57] | All the other parents call her “Lily-goat.” | 其他家长都叫她”啃人莉山羊” |
| [20:00] | You know what? This was a bad idea. | 我跟你说 这个主意太糟了 |
| [20:02] | Oh, yeah, it was… | 对 简直就是… |
| [20:04] | baa-aa-aa-aa-aad. | 糟咩咩咩咩 |
| [20:07] | That was a sheep. | 你那是绵羊叫 |
| [20:09] | And if this is how you talk to women in bed, | 如果你在床上就是这么和女人说话 |
| [20:11] | then no wonder you had to marry Alan. | 难怪会和艾伦结婚 |
| [20:14] | You will leave my husband out of this! | 你不要把我丈夫牵扯进来 |
| [20:18] | You don’t even know what you’re missing. | 你不知道你错过的是什么 |
| [20:20] | You were about to have the hottest sex of your life! | 你本来可以享受到此生最佳性体验的 |
| [20:22] | Oh, oh, easy for you to say | 你说得倒容易 |
| [20:24] | since you don’t have to back it up. | 反正也不用找证据证明 |
| [20:25] | Oh, you want me to back it up?! ‘Cause I’ll back it up! | 你想让我证明吗 我就证明给你看 |
| [20:28] | Yeah, back it on up! | 好啊 马上证明 |
| [20:30] | Oh, what, are we gonna have sex? | 我们要滚床单了吗 |
| [20:31] | Shut up! Oh… | 闭嘴 |
| [20:35] | Okay, I see where Lily gets her biting. | 我算知道莉莉跟谁学咬人了 |
| [20:46] | Boy, I was angrier than I thought. | 天啊 这怒炮比意想中怒许多啊 |
| [20:51] | Boy, I was angrier than I thought. | 天啊 这怒炮比意想中怒许多啊 |
| [20:59] | Boy, I was angrier than I thought. | 天啊 这怒炮比意想中怒许多啊 |