| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Sex is so much better with someone you know well. | 和熟悉的人一起滚床单真是舒服多了 |
| [00:04] | Yeah. Mm-hmm. | 没错 |
| [00:06] | That’s why so many marriages last forever. | 所以大部分婚姻能够白头终老 |
| [00:13] | But it’s true, it’s true– sex is better when you, | 可我说真的 最棒的嘿咻莫过于 |
| [00:16] | you know, you know the other person’s rhythms, | 你了解别人的节奏 |
| [00:18] | what they like, | 别人的喜好 |
| [00:19] | which leg they can put behind their head. | 他的哪只腿可以举到脑后 |
| [00:22] | I’m still impressed you can do that. | 我还在震惊你居然能那么做 |
| [00:25] | Uh, yoga. | 都是瑜伽的功劳 |
| [00:26] | When I started, I was single and I wanted to be | 我开始练时 单身的我想要 |
| [00:28] | flexible enough to give myself a… | 练到足够柔软为自己口… |
| [00:33] | You know, I, uh, I-I really would have missed you | 你搬去旧金山之后 |
| [00:35] | if you moved to San Francisco. | 我一定会想死你的 |
| [00:37] | Aw, me, too. | 我也是 |
| [00:39] | Although maybe I should have waited to sell the house. | 也许我应该等房子卖掉再搬走 |
| [00:41] | I got to be out of here in two weeks. Mm. | 我还有两周就必须搬走了 |
| [00:43] | I could help you find an apartment. | 我可以帮你找间公寓嘛 |
| [00:44] | Unless you want me to stay out of your hair. | 除非你不想让我插手你的私事[私处] |
| [00:46] | Hey, that’s the second time I said that tonight. | 哈 这话今晚我是第二次说了 |
| [00:49] | Actually, I really could use your help. | 实际上我还真需要你帮忙 |
| [00:51] | I mean, unless you’re busy with work. | 除非你工作太忙没有空 |
| [00:56] | Oh, I love you, Lyndsey. | 我好爱你 林赛 |
| [00:58] | I love you, too, Alan. | 我也爱你 艾伦 |
| [00:59] | – You want to go again? – No. | -你还想再做一次吗 -不 |
| [01:00] | You satisfied me the first time. | 你第一次就让我满足了 |
| [01:06] | Walden, do you believe in destiny? | 沃顿 你相信天命吗 |
| [01:10] | I believe in destiny’s Child. | 我相信天命真女[碧昂斯曾参加的女子组合] |
| [01:14] | I’m serious. | 我是说真的 |
| [01:16] | Think of everything that happened | 想想每一个让我们 |
| [01:17] | that led us to this moment. | 在一起的细节 |
| [01:19] | Oh, see, that… I’d rather not. | 我还真不愿意去想 |
| [01:21] | I know you don’t want to talk about my relationship with Alan. | 我知道你不愿谈起我和艾伦的关系 |
| [01:24] | No, I don’t. I don’t even like | 不 我不想 我连和艾伦 |
| [01:26] | sharing a cab with Alan. | 同乘一辆的士都不愿意 |
| [01:28] | But don’t you see? If Alan and I hadn’t been together | 可是你看 如果艾伦和我没有在一起 |
| [01:31] | and I hadn’t freaked out when he rejected me, | 我没有因为他拒绝我而崩溃 |
| [01:33] | you wouldn’t be here to comfort me. | 你就不会来安慰我了 |
| [01:35] | In a way, I just want to say | 总之 我想说 |
| [01:38] | thank you, Alan Harper. | 谢谢你啦 艾伦·哈勃 |
| [01:41] | Thank you, Alan Harper. | 谢谢你丫 艾伦·哈勃 |
| [01:45] | So-So you are aware that you… | 所以你知道你自己 |
| [01:49] | …freaked out a little bit. | 当时有一点抓狂对吧 |
| [01:51] | You mean when I showed up to your house | 你是指我半夜冒雨 |
| [01:53] | at midnight in the rain | 冲进你的家 |
| [01:54] | or when I followed Alan for 12 straight hours | 还是指我跟踪了艾伦12小时 |
| [01:56] | and peed in a bottle in my car? | 还是在车里往饮料瓶里撒尿 |
| [01:59] | I didn’t know you did that. That’s… | 我不知道你做了这种事 |
| [02:02] | Look at us, getting to know each other. | 看看 我们开始了解彼此了 |
| [02:05] | So-So was that | 所以这并非 |
| [02:07] | out of character for you, would you say? | 平常的你 对吧 |
| [02:09] | Well, I admit, I am not good with rejection. | 我承认 我这人不善面对拒绝 |
| [02:13] | Who is? | 谁不是呢 |
| [02:14] | Well, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [02:15] | I am never, ever gonna let go of you. | 我永远 永远 永远不会离开你了 |
| [02:20] | I believe you. | 我相信你 |
| [02:40] | I’ll let you know when I’m done. | 等我拉完了会通知你的 |
| [02:44] | Okay, once again, | 我再说一次 |
| [02:45] | I will buy you another Lego mini figure. | 我会再给你买一个乐高迷你公仔 |
| [02:50] | We don’t have to wait for that one to come out. | 我们不用苦等那个被拉出来 |
| [02:55] | Oh, you always know when I’ve had sex. | 你总是能猜到我滚了床单 |
| [03:01] | What gave it away? | 是哪一点暴露了我 |
| [03:02] | The bounce in my step or the glow in my cheek? | 是我轻快的脚步还是我满面的红光 |
| [03:04] | No, it’s probably the, | 不 大概是 |
| [03:05] | uh, text I got from you that said, | 你发给我的短信写着 |
| [03:07] | “Guess why I can’t see my penis right now.” | 猜猜我为啥现在看不到伦家的小弟弟 |
| [03:10] | I was bored. | 我无聊嘛 |
| [03:12] | So, uh, how was your little talk with Ms. McMartin? | 结果你和麦克马丁小姐聊得如何 |
| [03:14] | You know, about that whole situation– you and her– | 关于你和她之间的那些事 |
| [03:18] | I just… you know, maybe I just judged you too harshly. | 也许我对你太严苛了 |
| [03:20] | No, no, I was… I deserved it. I-I was stupid and weak. | 不 我是罪有应得 我又蠢又弱 |
| [03:24] | And besides, bitch be crazy. | 而且她又是个疯婆子 |
| [03:29] | bitch be my girlfriend. | 疯婆子成了我的女友 |
| [03:32] | Oh, my God. You didn’t. | 我的天 你不会吧 |
| [03:36] | After all the crap you gave me? | 就在你教育了我一堆废话之后 |
| [03:38] | “How could you sleep with our social worker, Alan?” | 你怎么能和我们的社工上床呢 艾伦 |
| [03:41] | “Get your penis out of my business, Alan.” | 把你的弟弟从我的生活里拔出来 艾伦 |
| [03:45] | “That’s not what yoga is for, Alan.” | 瑜伽不是为了这种事练的 艾伦 |
| [03:48] | Okay, fine, I admit it. I-I made a mistake. | 好吧 我承认我做了错事 |
| [03:50] | I just… I Alan’d this whole thing up. | 我…我把整个局面都”艾伦”乱了 |
| [03:54] | My name as a verb. I like it. | 我的名字升级为动词了 我喜欢 |
| [03:57] | So-So how did this happen? | 这到底是怎么发生的 |
| [03:59] | I don’t know. I just… I went over there and then… | 我也不知道 我过去 |
| [04:02] | she got all emotional | 看到她情绪激动 |
| [04:04] | and kept calling herself a loser and then… | 说自己是个失败者 |
| [04:06] | Okay, and then she started to cry. | 然后她开始哭 |
| [04:08] | Oh, crying. She used that to turn me on, too. | 哭 她也是用这招让我支帐篷的 |
| [04:12] | What? No. I-I comforted her | 什么 不 我只是安慰她 |
| [04:14] | and then one thing led to an… You’re a freak. | 然后一发不可收拾 你真是变态 |
| [04:17] | Hey, hey, don’t call me a freak. | 别说我变态 |
| [04:18] | You’re the one who Alan’d it up. | 你才是把一切”艾伦”乱的人 |
| [04:21] | You know what, maybe it’ll be okay. | 也许事情没什么大不了 |
| [04:22] | I mean, she only goes crazy when she gets rejected, | 她只有在被拒绝时才发疯 |
| [04:24] | so I just have to keep her happy for a couple days | 我只要让她过几天开心日子 |
| [04:27] | until we finalize Louis’s adoption. | 直到路易斯的领养手续结束就好 |
| [04:29] | See, I just… I feel bad, ’cause… | 我只是觉得这样很不好 |
| [04:32] | I mean, she already fell head over heels in love with me. | 她已经深深地爱上了我 |
| [04:34] | She Walden’d you. | 她”沃顿”了你 |
| [04:37] | You know what? Go Alan yourself. | 滚去”艾伦”你自己吧 |
| [04:40] | Thanks to yoga, I can. | 多亏了瑜伽 人家真的可以哦 |
| [04:45] | This is great. | 太好了 |
| [04:47] | Lots of natural light, hardwood floors, | 光线明亮 硬木地板 |
| [04:49] | and it’s next to a Chipotle | 附近还有墨西哥快餐 |
| [04:51] | I can’t wait for our first post-booty burrito. | 我等不及享用我们的第一个炮后墨西哥卷 |
| [04:54] | It’s also right across the street | 对面街还有一家 |
| [04:55] | from a really cute bookstore. | 非常可爱的书店 |
| [04:57] | Remember books? | 还记得书的样子吗 |
| [04:59] | And-and you saw how big those closets are. | 你看看这些宽大的衣柜 |
| [05:00] | I could live in those things. | 我都可以住进去了 |
| [05:02] | Not a good idea. | 这不是个好主意 |
| [05:03] | I already have enough people asking me | 已经有好多人问我 |
| [05:04] | if you’re in the closet. | 你是不是没出柜的基佬了 |
| [05:06] | People think I’m gay? | 他们觉得我是基佬吗 |
| [05:08] | That’s hilarious. | 真是好好笑哦 |
| [05:09] | Can’t wait to tell my husband. | 等不及要回家告诉我老公了 |
| [05:12] | So… do you really like it? | 你真的喜欢这里吗 |
| [05:14] | What’s not to like? | 哪一点不值得人爱呢 |
| [05:16] | This place is amazing. | 这地方棒极了 |
| [05:17] | Good. ‘Cause I was thinking maybe instead of visiting, | 很好 我在想与其偶尔来玩 |
| [05:22] | why don’t you move in with me? | 你不如直接搬过来 |
| [05:23] | In this dump? | 搬到这垃圾堆里来吗 |
| [05:25] | You just said you liked it. | 你不是说你喜欢它吗 |
| [05:26] | That was when I thought it was for you. | 那是对你而言 |
| [05:28] | But for the two of us? | 但住我们两个人 |
| [05:30] | There’s no study. | 这里连书房都没有 |
| [05:31] | Where would I write my novel? | 我上哪儿去写我的小说呢 |
| [05:32] | You’re writing a novel? | 你还在写小说 |
| [05:34] | Well, when I finish my screenplay. | 等我写完我的剧本就开始写小说 |
| [05:36] | Do you not want to live with me? | 你是不想跟我一起住吗 |
| [05:38] | No, of course I do. | 不 我当然想 |
| [05:40] | But I-I want our place to be perfect. | 但我希望能住更完美的地方 |
| [05:43] | Like you. | 就像你 |
| [05:44] | Uh, and I don’t care how long it takes to find it. | 我不在乎要花上多长时间 |
| [05:46] | You have two weeks. | 你只有两周 |
| [05:49] | Two weeks? | 两周 |
| [05:50] | That’s-that’s plenty of time to find an apartment | 用来找公寓足够了 |
| [05:51] | and finish Alan Harper: Vampire Hunter. | 还可以完成艾伦·哈勃所著《吸血鬼猎人》 |
| [06:01] | There you are! | 你来了 |
| [06:05] | There you are! | 你来啦 |
| [06:07] | In my kitchen. Holding a knife. | 在我的厨房 拿着一把刀 |
| [06:09] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [06:10] | I wanted to surprise you. | 我只是想给你个惊喜 |
| [06:12] | Well, I peed a little, so… | 我都惊出尿了 |
| [06:15] | good job. | 你成功了 |
| [06:18] | Wh-Who… How did you get in here? | 你怎么进来的 |
| [06:20] | Berta. | 波塔 |
| [06:20] | I told her I was cooking for you. | 我告诉她我是来做饭的 |
| [06:22] | She said, “Great. Clean the toilets, too.” | 她说 很好 顺便把厕所也打扫了 |
| [06:24] | Then she grabbed a six-pack and she went home. | 然后她带着半打啤酒就回家了 |
| [06:28] | So it’s just me and you. | 所以只剩下你和我了 |
| [06:29] | There’s no witnesses. | 连个人证都没有啊 |
| [06:32] | You are so funny. | 你可真搞笑 |
| [06:34] | It’s like dating Jimmy Fallon. | 就像和吉米·肥伦约会一样 |
| [06:38] | I’m making you crab cakes. | 我为你做了蟹肉饼 |
| [06:40] | What…? Really? I love crab cakes. | 真的吗 我喜欢吃蟹肉饼 |
| [06:42] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [06:42] | You told me the happiest summer you ever had | 你说你最开心的夏天 |
| [06:44] | was when your family rented that house in Maryland | 就是你家在马里兰租了小屋 |
| [06:46] | and your grandpa took you crabbing. | 你外公带你去捉螃蟹 |
| [06:48] | I remember when we were there and he said, | 我记得他当时说 |
| [06:50] | “You know, when you turn 18, I’m gonna take you to Vegas | 等你满18岁了 我会带你去维加斯 |
| [06:53] | and we’ll get a different kind of crabs.” | 到时候我们捉的就是另一种螃蟹[阴虱]了 |
| [06:58] | Then he laughed. | 然后他哈哈大笑 |
| [06:59] | Oh, how Boompa loved his hookers. | 我外公真是好爱那些妓女啊 |
| [07:03] | Hey, this is very nice, but maybe next time… | 你人太好了 不过下次… |
| [07:05] | Oh! I also have your favorite dessert. | 对了我还给你准备了最爱的甜点 |
| [07:07] | Did I tell you about Gam-Gam’s apple pie? | 我跟你提过外婆的苹果派吗 |
| [07:14] | That’s not Gam-Gam’s pie. | 这可不是外婆的苹果派啊 |
| [07:22] | Oh, hey. Where you been? | 你去哪儿了 |
| [07:24] | Apartment hunting. | 去找公寓了 |
| [07:29] | Are you… Really? | 什么…真的吗 |
| [07:30] | Oh, my God, you do hear my prayers. | 上帝啊 你能听见我的祷告啊 |
| [07:33] | Don’t get excited. It was for Lyndsey. | 别高兴太早 是帮林赛找 |
| [07:35] | Oh. Damn you. | 你个老不死的 |
| [07:36] | But get this: She asked me to move in with her. | 不过 她让我搬去和她一起住 |
| [07:38] | All right, you got me. | 算你有良心 |
| [07:40] | There’s no way I’m doing it. | 那是不可能的 |
| [07:41] | Ah, you’re dead to me! | 我再也不相信你了 |
| [07:44] | So, uh, how’s it going with Ms. McCrazy? | 你和麦克马疯婆子小姐谈得顺利吗 |
| [07:47] | You know what? That’ll be enough of that. | 不许再这么喊她 |
| [07:48] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [07:50] | She might be listening. | 她可能在听着呢 |
| [07:54] | Seriously, Ms. McMartin is a genuinely nice person. | 说真的 麦克马丁小姐人挺不错 |
| [07:57] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [07:59] | I feel bad about, like, stringing her along. | 我觉得我不该骗她 |
| [08:01] | Yeah, but you can’t break up with her. | 但你不能和她提分手 |
| [08:02] | It’ll jeopardize the adoption. | 否则领养这事就得黄 |
| [08:04] | I know, but, like, lying to her | 我知道 可这么欺骗她 |
| [08:05] | just seems cowardly and selfish. | 显得胆小又自私 |
| [08:09] | Well, you know what they say. | 你知道人们怎么说吗 |
| [08:10] | One man’s cowardly and selfish | 一个人胆小自私 |
| [08:12] | is another man’s approach to everything in life. | 就能成全另一人过上好日子 |
| [08:15] | No, you know what? | 可你知道吗 |
| [08:15] | She didn’t take Louis away | 她知道我俩是假结婚以后 |
| [08:17] | when she found out our marriage was fake. | 并没带走路易斯 |
| [08:19] | And she didn’t take him away when you dumped her, so… | 你甩了她 她也没有带走他 所以 |
| [08:23] | Like, she’s gonna do the right thing. | 她做事是有原则的 |
| [08:25] | So am I. | 我也是 |
| [08:26] | Good for you. | 挺好的 |
| [08:29] | You make me want to be a better man. | 你让我想变成一个好人 |
| [08:32] | Hey, uh, I-is Louis home? | 路易斯在家吗 |
| [08:34] | No, he’s staying at a friend’s house. | 不在 他去朋友家玩了 |
| [08:35] | Good. I can watch porn without headphones. | 棒 这下看成人片不用戴耳机了 |
| [08:39] | Oh, I get it now. | 我懂了 |
| [08:40] | I’m in hell. | 原来我在地狱 |
| [08:45] | Come on, baby. | 来嘛 宝贝 |
| [08:47] | Get off that laptop and get on top of this lap. | 别玩电脑了 来我腿上玩呗 |
| [08:51] | I’m trying to find us a place to live. | 我在给我俩找房子呢 |
| [08:53] | Oh! How about this one? | 你看这个怎么样 |
| [08:54] | It’s got a community hot tub. | 还附带多人热水浴缸 |
| [08:56] | Yes, that’s great. | 真不错啊 |
| [08:58] | Uh, because when I’m stuck in traffic, | 因为我在路上塞车的时候 |
| [09:00] | uh, and I look at the stranger in the next car | 会看看旁边车里的人 |
| [09:02] | and he’s picking his nose, I’m always thinking, | 他在抠鼻屎 我就会想 |
| [09:04] | “Boy, I’d like to sit in stagnant water with that guy.” | “天啊 我好想和他一起坐在臭水沟里” |
| [09:08] | Okay, no hot tub. | 好吧 不要热水浴缸 |
| [09:11] | Hey, how about a two-bedroom loft downtown? | 这个 市中心两室带阁楼的怎么样 |
| [09:13] | It’s got a washer and dryer. | 还送洗衣机和烘干机 |
| [09:15] | And no green space for my herb garden. | 没地方种我的草药 |
| [09:17] | Do you even know me? | 你真的了解我吗 |
| [09:21] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:22] | Describe your perfect place. | 请描述一下你理想的房子 |
| [09:25] | Uh, it’s a beautiful home, | 那是一个美丽的家 |
| [09:29] | it’s on the beach, | 坐落在海滩上 |
| [09:31] | it has a housekeeper | 配备女管家 |
| [09:33] | and it’s owned by a billionaire | 房主是个不监管零钱罐的 |
| [09:34] | who doesn’t monitor his change jar. | 百万富翁 |
| [09:37] | You’re just describing this house. | 你说的不就是这个房子吗 |
| [09:39] | Wow, you’re right. | 这都被你发现啦 |
| [09:40] | That worked out. Let’s have sex. | 搞定了 我们开始吧 |
| [09:43] | Alan… | 艾伦 |
| [09:44] | I’ve made a lot of changes in my life | 我这辈子做过很多改变 |
| [09:46] | and I was excited about starting all over with you, | 能和你重新开始我真的很开心 |
| [09:48] | but I cannot go through this same pattern | 但我不想又像以前一样 |
| [09:51] | over and over again. | 周而复始 |
| [09:54] | You love this house more than you love me. | 你爱这栋房子胜过爱我 |
| [09:57] | Oh, I’m sorry. Was that a question? | 对不起 那是个问句吗 |
| [10:00] | Good-bye, Alan. | 再见了 艾伦 |
| [10:01] | Oh, come… This is so unfair. | 别啊 这不公平 |
| [10:03] | Until you went to rehab last month, | 上个月你找我复合时 |
| [10:05] | you loved vodka more than me. | 你不是也爱伏特加胜于爱我 |
| [10:07] | And when I’ve had too much house, | 但我房子住多了的时候 |
| [10:09] | I don’t get naked in the Walmart. | 可不会裸体逛沃尔玛 |
| [10:22] | Oh, hey, uh, Berta. | 波塔 |
| [10:24] | When Ms. McMartin gets here, | 麦克马丁小姐来的时候 |
| [10:26] | can you give us some privacy? | 给我俩一点私人空间好吗 |
| [10:27] | I gotta talk to her. | 我有话要和她说 |
| [10:28] | Oh, God. | 天哪 |
| [10:30] | When are you gonna stop proposing to all these women? | 你什么时候才能不向这些女人求婚 |
| [10:33] | Zoey, Kate… | 佐伊 凯特 |
| [10:35] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [10:36] | Actually, I’m gonna break up with her. | 其实 我是想和她分手 |
| [10:39] | If you want, I can pull together a breakup kit | 如果需要 我可以帮你做一个”分手宝盒” |
| [10:42] | like I used to do for Charlie. | 我以前就是这么帮查理的 |
| [10:45] | It’s a pint of Haagen Dazs, | 只需要一品脱哈根达斯 |
| [10:47] | a bottle of wine | 一瓶红酒 |
| [10:49] | and the only copy of your sex tapes. | 还有你们性爱录像的唯一底片 |
| [11:01] | Hey, Walden. | 沃顿 |
| [11:02] | Hey, Berta! | 波塔 |
| [11:03] | What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? | 你最喜欢什么口味的冰激凌 |
| [11:06] | Why? | 怎么了 |
| [11:07] | No reason. | 没什么 |
| [11:10] | Hey, thanks for coming. | 谢谢你能来 |
| [11:12] | Why are you with me? | 你为什么会和我交往 |
| [11:14] | Good, good. How are you? | 很好 你怎么样 |
| [11:16] | Are you with me because you’re afraid | 你跟我交往是不是因为 |
| [11:18] | if you break up with me, I’ll screw up the adoption? | 害怕和我分手 我会把你领养搅黄 |
| [11:20] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:23] | No! | 没有 |
| [11:25] | Come… I just, uh… | 哪有的话… |
| [11:27] | Berta, how we coming with that ice cream? | 波塔 冰激凌的事怎么说 |
| [11:29] | Please be honest with me. | 请对我实话实说 |
| [11:31] | Okay, to be honest… | 好吧 实话实说 |
| [11:34] | yeah, I did think that. | 我确实那么想过 |
| [11:36] | But then I realized that you would never | 但后来我意识到 |
| [11:38] | ever do something like that. | 你绝对不会那么做的 |
| [11:39] | I was doing that. | 我正准备那么做 |
| [11:40] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [11:42] | This morning, I was going over your paperwork, | 今天早上 我看了你写的东西 |
| [11:44] | and I literally considered postponing the final hearing | 我就想尽量拖延最终听证的时间 |
| [11:46] | because I was afraid, as soon as it happened, | 因为我怕一旦结果出来 |
| [11:49] | you would leave me. | 你会离开我 |
| [11:51] | I would never do that to you. | 我不会对你这么残忍的 |
| [11:52] | I was gonna break up with you right now. | 我现在就和你分手 |
| [11:55] | So, you agree. | 这么说你同意了 |
| [11:58] | We shouldn’t see each other anymore. | 我们不该再和对方见面 |
| [12:00] | Here. | 拿着 |
| [12:01] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [12:02] | It’s the final adoption forms. | 这是最终领养协议 |
| [12:04] | You have a court date tomorrow | 你明天得去一趟法庭 |
| [12:05] | and everything’s gonna sail through. | 一切都会顺利通过 |
| [12:07] | Congratulations. Louis is yours. | 恭喜 路易斯归你了 |
| [12:09] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
| [12:13] | Oh… oh, my God, thank you. | 我的天啊 谢谢你 |
| [12:15] | Ah, you know this is a | 你懂的 这是一个 |
| [12:17] | “Thank you for being a great social worker” Hug, | “感谢有你这么好的社工”的拥抱 |
| [12:19] | not a “I want you back” Hug. | 不是”我希望你复合”的拥抱 |
| [12:21] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [12:22] | And don’t worry, I’m not gonna go all crazy | 别担心 我不会再抓狂 |
| [12:25] | and freak out on you. | 把你吓尿了 |
| [12:26] | Come on, I know that. | 别逗了 我知道 |
| [12:27] | I froze your sperm. | 我冷冻了你的精子 |
| [12:34] | Okay, buddy, here we go. | 咱们到了 |
| [12:36] | This is the first time | 这是我们第一次 |
| [12:37] | we’re walking into this house as an official family. | 正式以家人的身份走进这间房子 |
| [12:39] | Cool. | 太好了 |
| [12:40] | Walden Schmidt, Louis Schmidt | 沃顿·施密特 路易斯·施密特 |
| [12:43] | and a big pile of Schmidt. | 还有一大滩扶不上墙施密特 |
| [12:49] | Hey, you know, now that you’re my son, | 现在起你就是我的儿子了 |
| [12:51] | someday all of this is gonna be yours. | 将来这一切都是你的 |
| [12:53] | Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. | 停 别把话说这么早 |
| [12:56] | So, what should we do to celebrate this special family day? | 我们该怎么庆祝这个全家团聚的日子呢 |
| [12:59] | I’m going to play Legos in my room! | 我要去房里玩乐高 |
| [13:01] | Oh, oh, uh, you mean, | 你的意思是 |
| [13:02] | “I’m going to play Legos in my room, Dad.” | “我要去房里玩乐高 爸爸” |
| [13:05] | I’m going home to get high. | 我要回家嗨了 |
| [13:07] | I mean, I’m going home to get high… | 我要回家嗨了 |
| [13:10] | dad. | 爸爸 |
| [13:14] | Seriously, I’m happy for you. | 说真的 我为你感到高兴 |
| [13:16] | And I want you to know I’m, I’m here whenever you need me. | 希望你知道 我永远是你坚强的后盾 |
| [13:19] | Alan, you’re not getting the house. | 艾伦 我不会把房子给你 |
| [13:20] | Damn it! | 妈的 |
| [13:23] | This is weird. | 感觉很奇怪 |
| [13:24] | Feel like I should be doing something dad-like. | 现在起我的举止得像个爸爸了 |
| [13:25] | Like drinking beers outside. | 比如得去屋外喝啤酒 |
| [13:28] | Or grilling something. | 或是烤东西 |
| [13:30] | You know, something manly. | 你懂的 很爷们儿的烧烤 |
| [13:31] | Oh, perfect! | 太好了 |
| [13:32] | Uh, I have a nice, thick portobello mushroom you can grill. | 我有一个又大又肥的波特菇可以给你烤 |
| [13:35] | I said “something manly.” | 我说了”很爷们儿的” |
| [13:36] | Well, if you close your eyes, | 如果你闭上眼睛 |
| [13:37] | you’ll swear you have a piece of meat in your mouth. | 你会发现它吃起来其实和肉差不多 |
| [13:40] | I’m never closing my eyes again. | 我永远不会再闭上眼睛了 |
| [13:42] | Just give me a beer. | 给我一瓶啤酒 |
| [13:44] | So, uh, how’s it going with Ms. McMartin? | 你跟麦克马丁小姐怎么样 |
| [13:46] | She seemed a little standoffish at the courthouse. | 她在法庭上看起来不太友好 |
| [13:48] | You know, I think she was just trying | 我猜她大概是 |
| [13:49] | to keep things professional. | 想表现得专业一点 |
| [13:50] | There’s nothing going on between us anymore. | 我们之间不会再有什么了 |
| [13:52] | Guess it doesn’t matter. | 应该没事了 |
| [13:53] | We always knew it would end up like this. | 我们早就知道会是这个结果 |
| [13:56] | Just you and me. | 只剩你跟我 |
| [13:57] | Couple of cool bros, | 一对龙兄虎弟 |
| [13:58] | couple of chilled brews… | 两瓶冰镇佳酿 |
| [14:00] | and a couple of grilled ‘bellos. | 三两串烤波蘑 |
| [14:02] | Stop trying to shove your mushrooms down my throat! | 别再逼我去吞你的蘑菇了 |
| [14:06] | My point is we don’t need anything else to be happy. | 我想说的是人生如此 别无他求 |
| [14:09] | Or anyone. | 也无需他人 |
| [14:10] | Right, right! | 对 对 |
| [14:11] | Let Lyndsey move to San Francisco. | 就让林赛自己搬旧金山去吧 |
| [14:13] | There’s no way I’m giving up all this for her! | 我才不可能为她放弃这里 |
| [14:15] | I mean, look at this house! | 瞅瞅这大房子 |
| [14:17] | Look at the ocean and the view! | 再瞅瞅那大海景 |
| [14:21] | That’s why you broke up? | 你就是为这个分手的 |
| [14:23] | You had a choice between Lyndsey | 你在林赛 |
| [14:24] | and this house, | 和房子之间做选择 |
| [14:26] | and you chose this house? | 结果你选择了房子 |
| [14:28] | Yep. | 对呀 |
| [14:30] | Okay, you gave up a relationship with a woman | 好的 你放弃了一个 |
| [14:32] | who knows everything about you | 对你知根知底儿 |
| [14:34] | and still wants to be with you | 还毅然决然的要跟你在一起的女人 |
| [14:38] | because you didn’t want to leave this house? | 是因为你不想离开这房子吗 |
| [14:40] | Yep. | 对呀 |
| [14:42] | Okay, as I’m saying this out loud, | 好 我都说这么清楚了 |
| [14:43] | you are realizing what a moron you are, aren’t you? | 你意识到自己是个白痴了吧 |
| [14:46] | Yep. | 对呀 |
| [14:47] | But-but I’m not the only one. | 但白痴的也不止我一个 |
| [14:50] | Ms. McMartin is perfect for you. | 麦克马丁小姐跟你简直绝配 |
| [14:52] | Come on, you’re the one who said she was crazy. | 得了吧 你才说的她是疯婆子 |
| [14:54] | Yes, yes, but when you really look at it, | 没错 我说了 但你好好回想下 |
| [14:56] | what has she done? | 她到底做了什么 |
| [14:57] | I mean, she fell in love too quickly… like you. | 她轻易的就会爱上别人 跟你一样 |
| [14:59] | She only wants what’s best for Louis… | 她做的选择都是为了路易斯好… |
| [15:01] | like you. | 跟你一样 |
| [15:02] | She’s inexplicably drawn to me… | 她莫名其妙地就被我吸引了… |
| [15:05] | like you. | 跟你一样 |
| [15:08] | She did surprise me by cooking my favorite meal naked. | 她扮裸厨娘做美食给我时 的确惊喜到我了 |
| [15:11] | Sadly, like you. | 可悲的 跟你一样 |
| [15:13] | I mean, at least I-I traded Lyndsey for a house. | 至少我放弃林赛有房子住 |
| [15:15] | What did you trade Ms. McMartin for? | 你放弃麦克马丁小姐得到什么了 |
| [15:17] | Nothing. | 毛都没有 |
| [15:17] | It’s worse! | 比毛还糟 |
| [15:19] | I traded her for you! | 我放弃了她 留下了你 |
| [15:23] | Oh, my God! We’re idiots! | 老天爷啊 我们都是傻子 |
| [15:24] | I know. We’re gonna die alone! | 我知道 我们会孤独终老了 |
| [15:25] | Worse! We’re gonna die with each other! | 更惨 我要跟你一起慢慢变老 |
| [15:28] | Go to Ms. McMartin! | 去追求麦克马丁小姐 |
| [15:29] | I will! Go to Lyndsey! | 我会的 去追求林赛 |
| [15:31] | I will! I love you! | 我会的 我爱你 |
| [15:32] | – Oh, not the right time. – Knew that. | -时机不当 -收到 |
| [15:44] | There you are. | 你来啦 |
| [15:50] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [15:51] | Surprise. | 惊喜 |
| [15:52] | Oh, I’m so sorry! | 太对不起了 |
| [15:53] | I thought you were an intruder. | 我还以为你是闯空门的 |
| [15:55] | But how did you get in my apartment? | 不过你怎么进来我家的 |
| [15:57] | Well, I was gonna, um… | 我本来打算… |
| [16:00] | rent the vacant apartment above you, | 租下你楼上的空房间 |
| [16:02] | and then rappel down the building | 然后拉着绳子爬下来 |
| [16:03] | and smash through the window, | 破窗而入 |
| [16:04] | like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. | 就像布鲁斯·威利斯在《虎胆龙威》里那样 |
| [16:07] | But then I just looked under your mat, | 不过我翻了下门口的脚垫 |
| [16:08] | and I found your spare key. | 找到了你家备用钥匙 |
| [16:10] | Oh! That’s for my cat psychic. | 给我家猫咪灵媒留的 |
| [16:12] | Wha…? Your what? | 什么…你家啥 |
| [16:13] | What do you want? | 你来干嘛来着 |
| [16:14] | I-I remembered that your favorite meal was | 我记得你最爱吃的是 |
| [16:16] | pan-seared salmon with orange miso glaze. | 香煎三文鱼佐橙汁味增浇汁 |
| [16:19] | Oh, my God, you made that for me? | 天呐 你给我做了 |
| [16:20] | No. Uh, I made… | 没有 我做的是… |
| [16:22] | uh, grilled cheese | 奶酪三明治 |
| [16:23] | since it’s the only thing I know how to make. | 因为我就会做这么一样 |
| [16:26] | But the important thing is I remembered. | 重点是我记得 |
| [16:28] | Well, that’s very sweet. | 非常甜蜜 |
| [16:30] | But… why? | 但…为什么 |
| [16:32] | I wanted to give us another chance. | 我希望你能给我们再来一次的机会 |
| [16:34] | Oh… oh, I don’t know, Walden… | 我不知道 沃顿… |
| [16:37] | B-Before you say anything else, just… listen to this. | 你开口之前…先听这个 |
| [16:41] | * When a man * | * 当一个男人 * |
| [16:43] | 迈克尔·波顿 歌曲原唱 沃顿和艾伦的婚礼上他也来了 | |
| [16:43] | * Loves a social worker. * | * 爱上一个社工 * |
| [16:50] | Hi. Uh, my girlfriend is about to leave for San Francisco, | 你好 我女友要去旧金山了 |
| [16:53] | and I need a ticket on the 7:35 flight. | 我需要一张七点三十五起飞的机票 |
| [16:55] | Unfortunately, there’s only one seat left, | 抱歉 只剩一张 |
| [16:58] | and that’s in first class. | 头等舱的票了 |
| [16:59] | – Oh, how much is it? – $1,100. | -多少钱 -1100元 |
| [17:01] | Oh, go to hell! | 死去吧 |
| [17:03] | I’m sorry, that was not, uh, directed at you. | 对不起 我不是 在对你说 |
| [17:05] | Uh, you know what, uh, uh, Karen? | 这样吧 凯伦 |
| [17:08] | Uh, is it possible that someone | 有没有哪个经济舱乘客 |
| [17:11] | who already has a coach seat | 因为某种原因 |
| [17:12] | could be bumped for some reason? | 会被升舱到头等舱呢 |
| [17:16] | Or… say, if I give you… | 或者说 要是我给你… |
| [17:19] | ten reasons? | 十元因呢 |
| [17:23] | And you give me five reasons back? | 然后你再找给我五元因 |
| [17:27] | Sir, I cannot accept a bribe. | 先生 我不接受贿赂 |
| [17:29] | And I certainly cannot give you change for a bribe. | 更不会接受找零的贿赂 |
| [17:33] | You don’t understand how important it is | 你不理解这张票对我来说 |
| [17:35] | for me to get this ticket! | 十分重要 |
| [17:37] | I will do anything. | 我什么都愿意做 |
| [17:40] | Anything. | 什么都愿意哦 |
| [17:42] | Perhaps Karen wants to get her groove back? | 也许凯伦想脉动回来 |
| [17:47] | There is one thing you can do. | 有一件事你可以做 |
| [17:49] | Name it. | 说出来 |
| [17:50] | You can give me $1,100. | 你可以给我1100元 |
| [17:52] | I just… I just need to get to that gate | 我只是想赶在我女友登机前 |
| [17:54] | before my girlfriend boards that plane. | 进到登机门里就行 |
| [17:56] | I-I need to tell her that-that I-I love her | 我得告诉她我爱她 |
| [17:59] | and I was wrong and I want to spend my life with her. | 我错了 我想和她共度一生 |
| [18:01] | I’m sorry, you should’ve mentioned that before. | 真抱歉 你早点说就好了 |
| [18:03] | We have a special fare for big romantic gestures. | 我们有为乘客示爱提供特殊折扣票 |
| [18:07] | And it’s $1,100. | 票价1100元 |
| [18:11] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [18:12] | I’ll go. | 我走 |
| [18:17] | Karen 1,100. | 凯伦 1100元 |
| [18:19] | Love, zero. | 爱 无价 |
| [18:23] | * When a man loves a woman* | * 当一个男人 爱上一个女人* |
| [18:29] | I also remembered how you love Michael Bolton. | 我也记得你喜欢迈克尔·波顿 |
| [18:33] | Michael Bublé | 麦克·布雷 |
| [18:38] | * If she’s bad, he can’t… * | * 她的缺点 他看不… * |
| [18:40] | Bolton. | 波顿 |
| [18:42] | You know any Bublé | 你认识叫布雷的吗 |
| [18:43] | God, no. | 不认识 |
| [18:45] | Okay, we’re done here. | 行了 这没你事儿了 |
| [18:48] | What are you looking at? | 你还看什么 |
| [18:49] | Get the hell out of here, Bolton! | 快点滚出去 波顿 |
| [18:51] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [18:51] | I gave up singing the national anthem | 我放弃了去湖人比赛现场唱国歌 |
| [18:53] | at the Lakers game for this. | 就为了这个 |
| [18:58] | * When a man loves grilled cheese sandwiches. * | * 当一个男人 爱上奶酪三明治 * |
| [19:05] | So, what do you say? | 你怎么说 |
| [19:08] | Will you give us another chance? | 愿意再给我们一次机会吗 |
| [19:10] | Walden, this is kind of the man-woman playbook. | 沃顿 这就像男女爱情剧本 |
| [19:13] | I dumped you, and now you want to be with me | 我先甩了你 你就又想跟我和好 |
| [19:16] | because you want what you can’t have. | 因为你想拥有你得不到的东西 |
| [19:18] | Oh, God, you’re so smart. Let’s make out. | 天 你聪明的冒泡了 我们亲热一下 |
| [19:20] | – I’m serious. – Well, so am I! | -我是认真的 -我也是 |
| [19:22] | Come on, you’re kind and you’re generous. | 真的 你善良 慷慨 |
| [19:24] | And it… and it’s cute how you turn on the water | 还有…你去厕所的时候打开水龙头 |
| [19:26] | in the bathroom so you think I can’t hear you peeing. | 不让我听到你尿尿的声音 很可爱 |
| [19:29] | Plus, we’re good in bed together. | 再者 我们俩床单滚的那叫一个和谐 |
| [19:31] | True. | 实话 |
| [19:32] | Although, after Alan, anyone was gonna look good. | 不过看完艾伦 再看谁都是俊男美女 |
| [19:34] | Okay, I will give you, like, a billion dollars | 够了 我愿意你给你一百万美元 |
| [19:37] | if you never bring that up again. | 只要你不再提起他就行 |
| [19:39] | Look, you don’t have to give me money | 听我说 你希望我做什么事情 |
| [19:40] | when you want me to do something– just ask. | 不用给我钱 跟我说就好 |
| [19:43] | Why can’t you be my husband? | 我嫁的怎么不是你嘛 |
| [19:51] | I have to admit, it would be kind of nice | 不得不承认 这时候如果波顿在 |
| [19:54] | to have Bolton singing right now. Oh. | 听着他唱歌情调刚刚好 |
| [19:56] | * When a man loves a woman… * | * 当一个男人 爱上一个女人… * |
| [20:12] | Boarding pass? Oh! | 登机牌 |
| [20:13] | Here you go, good sir. | 您过目 先生 |
| [20:15] | This is a Chinese takeout menu. | 这时候中餐外卖单 |
| [20:18] | Okay, okay, um, I do not have, | 好吧 我的确没有 |
| [20:20] | uh, a boarding pass. | 那个登机牌 |
| [20:21] | But if you will let me go to that gate, | 但如果你让我到那个登机门去 |
| [20:24] | I’ll do anything. | 我什么都愿意做 |
| [20:27] | Anything. | 什么都愿意哦 |
| [20:29] | You can’t go to the gate without a boarding pass. | 没有登机牌 就不能到登机门去 |
| [20:32] | Have you ever been in love, sir? | 你有没有爱过谁 先生 |
| [20:33] | Yes. With America. | 有 美国 |
| [20:35] | Who I’m here to protect. | 我在这保护的就是 |
| [20:37] | That’s why nobody gets through without a boarding pass. | 所以没有登机牌的人 就到不了登机门 |
| [20:40] | Someone left a bag unattended! | 有人把包落那了 |
| [20:42] | Lyndsey! | 林赛 |
| [20:43] | We’ve got a runner! | 有人擅闯 |
| [20:44] | Lyndsey! Lyndsey! | 林赛 林赛 |
| [20:46] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [20:47] | Lyndsey! | 林赛 |
| [20:50] | I-I-I-I-I love-love-love-love- love-love you-you-you-you-you! | 我 我 我 爱 爱 爱 你 你 你 |
| [20:54] | I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m p-p-p-p-peeing! | 我我我尿尿尿了了了 |