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好汉两个半(Two and a Half Men)第12季第1516集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 好汉两个半(Two and a Half Men)第12季第1516集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
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时间 英文 中文
[00:02] Charlie lived life to its fullest and-and gave it everything he had. Charlie的一生过的非常充实 竭尽所能活的精彩
[00:06] Gave me herpes. 给了我疱疹
[00:08] Vaginal warts. 阴道疣
[00:10] He used my panties to make tea. 他会用我的内裤泡茶
[00:13] My point is, um, that Charlie lived life on his own terms. 最主要的是 Charlie活出了自己的生活方式
[00:18] Blah, blah, blah.Why can’t we see the body? 一堆废话 为啥不能看遗体?
[00:21] Charlie Harper was the love of my life and a wonderful, wonderful man. Charlie Harper是我毕生挚爱 他是个非常好的男人
[00:26] He slipped on the Metro platform and fell in front of an oncoming train. 他在地铁平台上滑到了 然后摔倒在了飞驰而来的火车前面
[00:30] His body just exploded like a balloon full of meat. 他的身体爆炸了 像个充满了肉的气球一样
[00:35] I know what you said you wanted, but… 我知道你说过你想要这样 但是…
[00:38] I really don’t think Pamela Anderson will agree to swallow your ashes. 我真心不觉得Pamela Anderson 会同意把你的骨灰吞下去的
[00:56] I ain’t cleaning him up. 我可不扫
[01:01] Imagine me and you, I do
[01:04] I think about you day and night It’s only right
[01:08] To think about the boy you love And hold him tight
[01:12] So happy together
[01:15] So how is the weather?
[01:25] Lunchtime. 该吃午饭了
[01:28] Here you go. 给你
[01:30] Tuna on toast…with vodka. 吞拿鱼吐司…还有伏特加
[01:35] Oh, don’t give me that look.It needs to eat. 别那么看着我 它需要进食 (故意用的它”it”)
[01:41] Oh, is it sulking? 它是在生闷气吗?
[01:43] Well, if it doesn’t eat, it gets the hose. 要么吃 要么被浇水哦 (沉默的羔羊里的囚禁情节一样咳)
[01:49] That’s better. 这就对了
[01:51] And pick up the napkin. 把餐巾捡起来
[01:53] Just because it lives in a pit, it doesn’t have to live like an animal. 虽然它生活在矿井里 也不用像个动物一样啊
[01:57] Thank you. 谢谢
[02:00] And after it eats, it changes its clothes. 吃饭完之后 就该换衣服了
[02:08] Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 15:Of Course He’s Dead Part 1 -=伊甸园美剧 http://bbs.sfile2012.co 小貂给好汉送终 小貂还是更喜欢前五季 CL还真是小心眼 把Charlie Sheen黑出翔- – 好汉两个半
[02:21] Got any good mail? 有有用的信吗?
[02:22] Uh let’s see.Uh, electric bill, cable bill, water bill.Here you go. 看一下 电费账单 有线电视账单 水费账单 都是你的
[02:28] Do you ever experience shame? 你知道羞耻两个字怎么写吗?
[02:30] Uh, shame is a rich man’s emotion. 羞耻是有钱人才会有的情绪
[02:32] I can barely afford embarrassment. 我连尴尬都负担不起呢
[02:36] Oh, wow.Something for Charlie. 竟然有给Charlie的信
[02:39] I-I told you to cancel his subscription to the Sex Toy of the Month Club. 我都给你说了 把他订阅的月送性玩具取消掉
[02:44] Oh, can’t.He paid for life. 别想了 他是终生订阅的
[02:47] And, uh, January was butt plug month. 一月的是肛门插
[02:53] Oh.Oh, it’s, uh…it’s from his music publisher. 是他音乐出版商来的信
[03:01] You okay? 你还好吗?
[03:03] I’m-I’m…I’m not sure.Look. 我 我…我不知道 看这个
[03:08] Dear Mr.Harper: “We are holding unclaimed music royalties 亲爱的Harper先生: “我们持有您尚未领取的
[03:12] for you in the amount of $2.5 million.” 250万美元的音乐版权费”
[03:18] Looks like those children’s records he made are still making money. 看来他写的那些广告歌还在赚钱
[03:21] – Uh, say the number again. – 2.5 million. – 再说一遍多少钱 – 250万刀
[03:26] Apparently, it’s been stacking up since he died. 应该从他死后开始 一直累积到了这么多
[03:29] Like the butt plugs. 就像那些肛门插一样
[03:34] Alan, you do realize that money will go to his next of kin. Alan 你知不知道 这笔钱是要给他最近的血亲的
[03:37] Uh, yeah.That’s me.Why do think I keep going… 当然了 不就是我 不然你以为我干嘛要一直…
[03:41] What about your mother and his daughter? 那你妈和他女儿怎么办?
[03:45] Oh, you’re serious. 天哪 你是认真的
[03:47] Alan, you can’t keep that kind of money secret from them. Alan 你不能不告诉她们有那笔钱
[03:51] Why not?I kept from you that I used your Tesla to drive for Uber. 为什么不能? 你就不知道我用你的特斯拉去接Uber啊
[03:57] Hello.Yes,I-I just received a notice of unclaimed royalties for Charlie Harper 你好 我刚收到了一份关于Charlie Harper 版权费无人认领的通知
[04:02] that I would like to claim.Oh, oh, yeah, sure, I’ll hold. 我愿意认领 对的对的 我会等的
[04:06] – What are you doing? – Uh, claiming. – 你在干嘛? – 认领啊
[04:09] Uh, yes, yes.Hi.Uh, I am, uh, Alan Harper. 对的 你好 我是Alan Harper
[04:11] Uh, I’m Charlie Harper’s next of kin. Charlie Harper最近的血亲
[04:13] Yes, uh, uh, sadly, he-he passed away four years ago. 对 不幸的是 他四年前去世了
[04:17] Yes, I-I am sorry, too.Uh, he’s irreplaceable. 我也很难过 他是无可替代的
[04:26] Uh,anyway,um…I guess you can just,you know,send me the check and… 总之…我觉得 你可以把支票寄给我…
[04:32] Uh, death certificate? 死亡证明?
[04:36] Uh, o-okay, uh, is that…is that necessary to get the money? 好吧 那是… 拿到那笔钱必须要用的东西吗?
[04:40] Okay.Uh, how about, uh, you send me the check, 好吧 不然这样 你把钱寄给我
[04:43] I’ll send you the death certificate? 我就把死亡证明寄给你?
[04:48] Or we can do it your way. 或者按你们的方式来
[04:51] Uh,uh,oh,oh,and by the way,um,uh,when you give me the money, 还有 你们给我那笔钱时
[04:54] do you notify the IRS, or is that my responsibility? 是你们通知美国国税局呢 还是我自己来?
[04:58] Mine!Perfect. 我来! 太棒了
[05:00] Uh, bye-bye.Our divorce is final, right? 再见 我们的婚姻结束了 对吧?
[05:04] Alan, I neither want nor need your money. Alan 我不想也不需要你的钱
[05:07] – Oh,I know that,uh,but could you say that again on camera?- O-Okay, okay. – 好嘞 你能再说一次吗 我录下来? – 停停
[05:12] You don’t have the death certificate, do you? 你没有那个死亡证明吧?
[05:14] No, but I’m sure my mom does. 没 但是我妈肯定有
[05:16] How are you going to get it from her without telling her about the money? 那你要是不告诉她有这么一笔钱的话 怎么能拿到证明?
[05:18] Uh, remember four years ago how I told you I’d only be here for a few days? 你还记得四年前我是怎么跟你说 我只在这住几天的吗?
[05:22] I think I can figure it out. 我搞的定的
[05:27] I can’t wait for this to be over. 我迫不及待的想要结束这一切了
[05:32] Well, this is a surprise. 真是太阳打西边出来了
[05:34] You visit so seldom. 你很少来的
[05:36] I know.I know.I need to do it more. 我知道 我应该勤来的
[05:39] I wasn’t complaining. 我那不是抱怨
[05:43] So, how have you been? 最近过得怎么样?
[05:45] Well, uh, uh, it’s funny you should ask. 你会问这个 太搞笑了
[05:47] Um, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. 我最近想了很多
[05:49] I’m not giving you a penny. 我一分钱都不会给你的
[05:52] I, uh…I didn’t come for money. 我 其实不是为了钱来的
[05:53] Or a place to live or a car. 住的地方 车 都别想
[05:55] Or affection or nurturing.I get it. 也不会有喜爱和培养 我懂的
[05:57] Uh, uh, I was thinking.You know, um, well, maybe it’s my age, but, 我一直在思考 或许是到了这个年纪了
[06:01] uh, I’m starting to reflect on the big questions. 不过我开始去想一些大问题
[06:03] You know, what’s…what’s it all about?Uh, why are we here? 比如 万物的终极? 我们生活的意义?
[06:06] What happens when we die? 死的时候会是怎么样的?
[06:07] I know what happens when I die.You get nothing. 我知道我死的时候会是怎么样的 你什么都得不到的
[06:11] Mom, I-I told you, I did not come here…Really?Nothing? 妈 我都说了 我这次来不是为了… 真的? 啥都得不到?
[06:15] It’s not because I don’t love you. 不是因为我不爱你
[06:17] I just don’t want to give you a reason to kill me. 而是我不想给你杀死我的理由
[06:20] You mean another reason. 你是说再多一个理由吧
[06:29] Where are all these morbid thoughts coming from? 这些病态的想法都是哪里来的?
[06:32] As long as I’ve known you, you’ve never been much of a thinker. 从我了解的你来看 你从来就不是想事情的料
[06:35] Or a…a doer or a provider or… 或者是实干家 奉献的人…
[06:40] pretty much anything with “er” at the end. 基本就是一无是处
[06:43] Maybe I’ve been asking all these questions because 我问的这些问题都是因为
[06:47] – the anniversary of Charlie’s death is coming up. – So? – Charlie的忌日快到了 – 然后呢?
[06:50] So I was thinking it might be nice to do something to commemorate it. 我就想或许做点什么纪念一下比较好
[06:53] Like what?Snort coke off a hooker’s butt? 比如? 在妓女的屁股上吸可卡因? (讽刺Charlie Sheen- -)
[06:59] Uh, actually, uh, uh, more like, uh, make a…a memorial collage. 其实 更像是 做一个…纪念册
[07:04] A what? 一个什么?
[07:07] A…a memorial collage. 一个纪念册
[07:08] You know, a collection of images celebrating his life. 就是 收集一些图片来记录他的一生
[07:11] Uh, things like, uh, his birth certificate, uh, family pictures, 比如 他的出生证明 家庭合照
[07:14] death certificate, uh, awards, sheet music, diplomas, death certificate, um… 死亡证明 奖状 乐谱 学位证 死亡证明…
[07:19] I don’t know how much I can help you. 我也不知道能帮到多少
[07:21] I-I’ve got his birth certificate, a few baby pictures, 我有他的出生证明 几张他婴儿时的照片
[07:23] the little hash pipe he made in camp. 他露营时候做的大麻烟斗
[07:27] No death certificate? 没有死亡证明?
[07:29] No.I-I just thought you had it. 没有 我以为在你那呢
[07:31] Oh.Well, bye. 好吧 再见
[07:37] I’m sorry.I can’t find any record of your brother’s death. 不好意思 我找不到任何 关于你哥哥的死亡的记录
[07:40] You sure?Uh, newspapers, obituaries? 你确定? 报纸 讣告都没有?
[07:42] No,I checked everything on Charlie Harper–both here and in France–and… 没 所有有关Charlie Harper的一切 我都查过了 这边的还有法国的
[07:46] I-I found a bunch of weird self-shot sex videos, 我倒是找到了一堆 奇怪的自拍的性爱录影带
[07:51] including one featuring what appears to be the USC men’s water polo team? 有一个的特写还是 南加州大学男子水球队?
[07:57] I also found this crazy rant about a former employer. 我还发现了这个对前任雇主的咆哮体
[08:11] But there’s nothing about his death. 不过就是没有关于他死亡的消息
[08:13] – How is that possible? – Did you ever see the body? – 怎么可能? – 你有看过遗体吗?
[08:15] There was no body.The man was hit by a train. 没有遗体了 他是被火车撞死的
[08:17] All that was left was a…a meat smoothie and a couple of teeth. 就只剩下了一坨肉酱还有几颗牙齿
[08:21] Well, how do you know he’s really dead? 那你怎么知道他是不是真的死了?
[08:23] Well, of course he’s dead.I have his ashes. 他当然死了 我还有他的骨灰呢
[08:25] How do you know that they’re his ashes? 你怎么知道那是他的骨灰?
[08:27] Well, what do you want me to do, test them for herpes? 那我能怎么办 看看他们有没有疱疹?
[08:34] Twinkle, twinkle, little star
[08:38] I always know just where you are
[08:41] In a pit below my house
[08:45] You will always be my spouse.
[08:52] Oh, boy. 天哪
[08:59] Never put a window in a dungeon. 地牢里不能有窗户的
[09:14] Yes,I am calling about the $2.5 million in unclaimed royalties for Charlie Harper. 我打来是想问关于Charlie Harper 那250万美元的未认领的版权费的
[09:20] Uh, uh, good news. 好消息是
[09:21] Uh, I have just received the death certificate from France. 我刚刚收到了法国发来的死亡证明
[09:25] Uh, it’s in French and everything so you know it’s real. 因为是法语的 保真
[09:29] Oh, oh, sure, I’ll hold. 好的 我会等下
[09:31] Uh, “cause de d茅c猫s.” Uh… 死亡原因
[09:35] uh, Le… train. 火车
[09:41] Oh, yes, yes, I’m still here. 说吧 我在听
[09:43] What?It’s already been claimed? 什么? 已经被领走了?
[09:46] By whom? 谁领的?
[09:48] Was it an older red-headed woman wearing a coat made of Dalmatians? 是不是一个穿着斑点大衣的红头发女人?
[09:54] What do you mean, you can’t tell me? 什么叫不能告诉我?
[09:56] A…a numbered account in the Cayman Islands?That makes no sense. 开曼群岛的一个账号? 不可能啊
[09:59] FedEx just dropped off a box addressed to Charlie. 联邦快递刚送来了Charlie的包裹
[10:03] Uh…uh, uh, I’ll call you back. 我回头再打给你
[10:07] If that’s a blow-up sex doll, can I have it? 如果是个充气娃娃的话 能给我吗?
[10:11] My grandkids need a pool toy. 我的孙子们需要泳池玩具的
[10:17] – Cuban cigars? – Charlie’s favorite smokes. – 古巴雪茄? – Charlie的最爱
[10:22] Single malt scotch? 单芽苏格兰威士忌?
[10:24] Charlie’s favorite breakfast. Charlie最爱的早餐
[10:28] What the hell? 这是什么鬼?
[10:29] Looks the knife he used to chase you around the house with. 看起来像从前他在房子里 追杀你时用的刀
[10:35] Yeah, that’s it. 嗯 是它
[10:41] “I’m coming home, and you’re going to pay.” “我要回家了 你该付出代价了”
[10:45] That’s got to be a wrong number.You never pay for anything. 肯定是发错了 你什么都不带付的
[10:53] – Walden! – Alan?
[10:55] Ms.McMartin, I’m sorry.Uh, where’s Walden? McMartin小姐 不好意思 Walden在哪呢?
[10:57] I’m a little busy, Alan. 我这边有点忙 Alan
[10:59] Oh,okay.Uh,are-are you aware she’s reading Cosmo? 你知道她在看时尚杂志吧?
[11:03] It’s a how-to article. 是篇教授怎么做的文章
[11:05] Well, it’s not so much “how to,” as “how to do it better.” 不是”怎么做”而是”怎么更有技巧”
[11:09] Seriously? 要不要这样?
[11:11] Hey.Even Tiger Woods needs a swing coach. 就算是老虎伍兹 也需要挥杆教练的
[11:15] – Listen,can you just come back in,like,what,20 minutes? – Eh…No. – 你等下再来行吗 20分钟? – 不行
[11:21] This can’t wait.Look at this text. 这个是急事 看这条短信
[11:24] Okay, that can’t be for you.You never pay for anything. 绝对不是发给你的 你什么都不带付的
[11:28] I think, somehow, some way…Charlie is still alive. 我有种感觉 Charlie有可能还活着
[11:31] – Okay, this is ridiculous. – There’s more. – 这太可笑了 – 还有
[11:34] A package came addressed to him. 有个包裹 写的是他的名字地址
[11:36] Oh, is it something that vibrates? 是会震动的东西吗?
[11:39] ‘Cause I could really use some help with this. 我可能能用上�G
[11:42] He ain’t lying. 他说的是真的
[11:45] No.It’s-it’s-it’s not sex toys. 没有 不是情趣玩具
[11:47] I am telling you, Charlie is coming back, and he is not happy with me. 我跟你讲 Charlie要回来了 而且他对我很不满
[11:50] Well, at the moment, neither am I. 其实 此时此刻 我也一样
[11:52] – Should I go? – No,no,no,no,no.We’re so close. – 我要不要走? – 别别别 我们就快成功了
[11:57] Walden, it’s like you said. Walden 就像你说的
[11:58] I mean, there was no proof that Charlie ever died. 没有证据证明Charlie死了
[12:01] – All we have is Rose’s word. – Who’s Rose? – 我们有的只是Rose的一面之词 – Rose是谁?
[12:03] Oh, she’s this crazy millionairess that used to stalk Charlie, 她是之前跟踪Charlie的一个百万富疯婆
[12:07] and then he married her.And then she started stalking me. 然后他们结婚了 之后她就开始跟踪我
[12:10] Why?Did you sleep with her? 为什么? 你跟她上床了?
[12:13] Alan slept with her, too. Alan也跟她上床了
[12:16] Hey, after 12 years, everybody’s slept with everybody. 也有12年了 大家也该互相都睡过了
[12:19] Alan!Alan, where are you? Alan! Alan 你在哪?
[12:22] – Uh, in here! – Oh, for God sakes! – 这儿呢! – 天哪!
[12:25] That’s my mother.Uh,oh,Walden slept with her,too. 是我妈 Walden跟她也睡了
[12:27] Uh…you slept with my mom! 你跟我妈还睡了呢!
[12:29] No, that was just a handy in a hotel bar.I am a gentleman. 没有 只在酒店吧台那儿手了一下 我可是个有节操的人
[12:35] We need to talk.Oh.Who’s this? 我们得谈谈 这位是?
[12:38] Uh, this is my son’s social worker, Ms.McMartin. 这位是我儿子的社工 McMartin小姐
[12:41] And you’re shtupping her.How lovely. 你在跟她睡啊 不错嘛
[12:43] Uh, Mom, don’t be rude.Uh, and I shtupped her first. 妈 文明点 还有是我先睡了她的
[12:47] I really should go. 我真是该走了
[12:48] Yeah.Uh, okay.Just remember which step we’re on. 好吧 记得我们到第几步了
[12:52] Number six: “finding the little man in the canoe.” 第六步: “找到独木舟里的小人”
[12:56] – I don’t remember you having any trouble… – Okay, everybody stop! – 我不记得你有这方面的问题… – 都给我打住!
[13:01] What are you doing here? 你来干嘛?
[13:02] I want to know why you sent me this hateful e-mail. 我想知道你干嘛给我发了一封 如此怨念的电子邮件
[13:06] Uh, “Dear Mom: “You were always a horrible mother “亲爱的妈妈: 你一直都是个糟糕的母亲”
[13:10] “and a repulsive human being, “and I hope you rot in hell. 一个令人生厌的人 我希望你在地狱里腐烂吧
[13:13] “But before you do, I will have my revenge.” 但是在这之前 我要进行我的复仇”
[13:18] Okay, I don’t disagree with anything here… 虽然我同意这里的每一个字…
[13:22] – but I did not send that. – Really? – 但那不是我发的 – 真的?
[13:24] Who else would call me “a horrible mother”? 那还有谁能说我是个”糟糕的母亲”?
[13:27] No, no, it’s still ridiculous. 不可能 太可笑了
[13:30] What’s ridiculous? 什么太可笑了?
[13:31] Alan has this crazy idea that Charlie’s still alive. Alan 有个疯狂的想法 他觉得Charlie还活着
[13:34] But then who sent her that e-mail?Who sent me this text? 不然是谁发了这封电子邮件? 又是谁给我发的短信?
[13:37] Where did the cigars, booze and chasin’ knife come from? 那些烟酒跟追逐刀又是哪儿来的?
[13:40] Wait, what’s a chasin’ knife? 什么是追逐刀?
[13:42] Uh, it’s a regular knife after two bottles of scotch and some blow. 就是两瓶威士忌外加一些毒品之后 用的普通的刀
[13:47] – Who else would have sent it? – I don’t know. – 还有谁能寄来这些? – 我不知道啊
[13:50] Like, somebody that wants to freak you out. 没准是有人想吓唬你呢
[13:52] Think about it: Who has something to gain from this? 想想看: 这样的话谁能从中获益?
[13:54] Who else has a claim on that money? 谁能得到这笔钱?
[13:56] – What money? – No money.There’s no money. – 什么钱? – 没钱 什么钱都没有
[13:58] Alan, will you just tell her? Alan 你能老实告诉她吗?
[14:02] I don’t want to. 不想
[14:04] Alan!
[14:06] Turns out,uh,there are some unclaimed royalties,uh,from Charlie’s recordings. 好吧 其实是Charlie之前的音乐 有一些还没领取的版权费
[14:12] – How much? – Uh, two and a half… – 有多少? – 两千…
[14:15] – thousand dollars. – Alan! – 五百刀 百万 250万
[14:21] Ah, the memorial collage. 那个纪念册
[14:25] That’s why you wanted the death certificate– so you could claim the money. 怪不得你想要死亡证明– 这样你就能拿到那笔钱了
[14:29] You dirty rat bastard. 你个肮脏的人渣
[14:31] What would you have done? 那如果是你你会怎么做?
[14:34] We’re wasting time here. 我们在浪费时间
[14:37] Now, who else could have a claim on the money? 那现在 谁还能拿到那笔钱?
[14:40] Oh, God! 哦 爽!
[14:42] Ah, damn it.She found the little man without me. 该死 她自己就找到了那个小人了
[14:49] Anyway,we were thinking of putting together a sort of memorial collage… 总之 我们在想拼成一个纪念册…
[14:54] Oh, for God sakes, will you just tell her? 看在上帝的份上 你们跟她说实话好吗
[14:56] Um, some money owed to your father has been discovered. 有一笔属于你爸的钱
[15:02] Really?How much? 真的吗? 有多少?
[15:03] – Two and a half thousand. – Million. – 两千五 – 百万
[15:05] It’s $2.5 million. 是250万
[15:08] Why are you here? 你为什么要掺合进来?
[15:09] You know what?I’ve been asking myself that since day one. 从第一天起我也在问自己这个问题
[15:26] Honestly, I forgot she was here. 说实话 我都忘了她在这儿了
[15:30] Look,anyway,somebody claimed it and 总之 有人领取了这笔钱
[15:32] transferred it into a numbered account in the Caymans. 然后把它转到了开曼群岛的一个账户上
[15:35] And you think it was me? 你们觉得是我领的?
[15:36] Would I be living in a one-bedroom apartment if I had that kind of money? 如果我有那笔钱的话 我还会住在一个单室公寓里吗?
[15:49] I don’t have my contacts in.Was that the same one or different? 我刚有点懵 刚刚那是同一个人吗?
[15:54] Excuse me. 稍等一下
[15:56] Wow.You hang a penis on that girl, and you’ve got Charlie. 给你一个小弟弟 根本就是Charlie在世了嘛
[16:01] Thank you. 谢谢
[16:02] Huh.Certified letter from a law firm. 律师事务所发来的认证信
[16:05] Might mean traveling money.Stand by. 或许是交通费了 等着
[16:08] – Oh, my God. – What is it? – 我的天哪 – 写的什么?
[16:11] Am I seeing that right?That’s a lot of zeroes. 我没看错吧? 好多个零
[16:13] It’s a cashier’s check for $100,000. 是张10万刀的现金支票
[16:17] – Who’s it from? – I don’t know. – 谁寄来的? – 不知道
[16:20] Oh, but there’s a note. 不过有张纸条
[16:22] It says, “Buy yourself something nice.Sorry I wasn’t there for you.” 上面写”给自己买点好的东西 抱歉没有一直陪在�蒙肀�”
[16:25] I don’t care who it’s from.Apology accepted. 不管是谁寄来的 不过道歉接受了
[16:29] Is the bathroom in here? 洗手间是在里面吗?
[16:35] “Buy yourself something nice.”Sorry I broke your heart… “给自己买点好的东西” 对不起我伤了你的心…
[16:38] “and banged your sister. 还睡了你妹妹
[16:41] As I write this, I realize those two things might be related.” 我写这个时 突然意识到这两件事是有联系的”
[16:48] Hmm.Screw my sister. 好吧 我妹妹那都不叫事儿
[16:54] “Buy yourself something nice.”Sorry I shot you. “给自己买点好的东西 对不起我打伤了你
[16:59] I didn’t know I was loaded. 我不知道枪里有子弹”
[17:04] “Buy yourself something nice. “给你自己买点好的东西
[17:06] Tell your mom I’m sorry I gave her chlamydia.” 告诉你妈妈 传染了性病给她 很抱歉”
[17:14] “Sorry I never called.Buy yourself a nice vagina.” Aw. “很抱歉再也没联系过你 给自己买个好阴道吧”
[17:25] Well, obviously Jenny didn’t claim the royalties. 好吧 很显然 Jenny并没有去拿那笔钱
[17:27] Why would she send a check to herself? 不然她怎么会给自己寄张支票?
[17:29] Yeah, but you still don’t know it was Charlie. 对 但还是不知道那就是Charlie啊
[17:31] Oh, who else is going to send an unemployed lesbian actress $100,000? 还有谁会给一个失业的 同性恋女演员寄10万刀?
[17:36] I don’t know.Ellen DeGeneres? 不知道 Ellen DeGeneres?
[17:40] I’m telling you, Charlie’s alive. 我跟你说 Charlie肯定还活着
[17:42] Oh, good.Then I don’t have to tell you. 那就好 我就不用告诉你了
[17:57] Charlie is still alive? Charlie还活着?
[17:59] Yeah, kinda. 算是吧
[18:02] What do you mean,”kinda”?’Cause she”kinda”drank when she was pregnant with me 什么叫”算是”? 她还是”算是”喝醉了才怀上的我的呢
[18:05] and now I “kinda” can’t do math. 搞的我现在”算是”数学很差
[18:09] – Hey. – Hey.What are you still doing here? – 嘿 – 嘿 你怎么还在这儿?
[18:11] Oh, I accidentally fell asleep in Zippy’s room. 我不小心在寄生虫的房间里睡着了
[18:14] How do you accidentally fall asleep? 睡着还能不小心的?
[18:17] You accidentally wash down your pain pills with scotch. 不小心把止疼片混威士忌喝下去后就能了
[18:24] What’s Fatal Attraction doing here? 致命诱惑在这儿做什么?
[18:27] – She says that Charlie is still alive. – I knew it. – 她说Charlie还活着 – 我就知道
[18:32] Alan, if you move out and Charlie stays here with Walden, Alan 如果是你搬出去了 Charlie在这跟Walden呆在一起的话
[18:38] I believe that we can keep this going for another five years. 我觉得我们可以这样再拍五年
[18:46] Yeah, I don’t think so. 我可不觉得
[18:49] Uh…so, uh…what exactly happened to Charlie? Charlie到底怎么了?
[18:52] Yeah, start from the beginning. 从开头讲起
[18:54] You mean from the pilot? 从第一集试播集讲起吗?
[18:56] No, uh, what happened to my brother after you married him? 不是 是你们结婚之后发生了什么?
[18:59] Oh.Well, we had a wonderful wedding, 我们举行了一个很棒的婚礼
[19:02] and then we flew to Paris for our honeymoon. 然后飞去巴黎度蜜月
[19:05] We were so happy.So animated. 我们很开心 也很卡通…
[19:12] We went up on the Eiffel Tower… 上至埃菲尔铁塔…
[19:15] and went down on the Champs-Elyses. 下到香榭丽舍
[19:21] Afterwards,we celebrated our love with a romantic candlelit dinner at the Ritz. 之后 我们在丽兹酒店共享烛光晚餐 来庆祝我们的爱情
[19:35] Of course, I’ve always known Charlie was no saint, 虽然我一直知道Charlie不是什么好鸟
[19:38] but I thought marriage would change him. 但我想婚姻能够改变他
[19:40] Huh?I was wrong. 但我错了
[19:43] So wrong. 大错特错
[19:46] Huh.Disturbingly wrong. 错的离谱
[19:49] I ran from the room, determined to never see him again. 我逃离开了房间 发誓再也不想见到他
[19:53] Charlie…
[19:54] He finally caught up with me at the train station, 他最后在火车站追上了我
[19:57] but all I could think about was…revenge. 但我满脑子想的都是…报复
[20:01] But at the last second, fate intervened. 但在最后一刻 命运从中作梗了
[20:05] So I booked us a cruise home. 于是我订了邮轮票回来
[20:10] We moved in to a brand-new house in Sherman Oaks– 我们搬去了在谢尔曼奥克斯的新家
[20:14] the good part,south of the boulevard–where we could live as a happy couple. 地段优越 大道以南 在那里我们像一对恩爱的夫妻一样生活
[20:18] Wait a minute.You bought a house with a dungeon? 等等 你买了一栋带地牢的房子?
[20:22] – And a pit? – Of course not.I had it remodeled. – 还有一个坑井? – 当然不是 我改造过了
[20:25] The permit process was just a nightmare. 整个审批程序简直是场噩梦
[20:28] Next time, use my pit guy.He’s the best. 下次你可以找帮我做坑井的人 他做的可好了
[20:32] Continue. 接着说
[20:34] For the next four years, we were the happiest we’d ever been. 接下来的四年是我们最幸福的时光
[20:38] I’d feed him… 我给他喂吃的…
[20:40] bathe him… 给他洗澡…
[20:41] and, of course,there was endless magical lovemaking. 当然 还有数不清的梦幻爱爱
[20:46] Then, a few days ago,the unthinkable happened. 但几天前 意想不到的事发生了
[20:50] Somehow he managed to make a rope out of his bowling shirts and ran away, 他设法用他的保龄球衫做成了绳子 然后逃跑了
[20:54] disappearing into the darkness. 消失在黑夜中
[20:59] Th-Th-Th-That’s all, folks. 就这些啦 小伙伴们
[21:03] *** 华纳影视
[21:06] Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 16:Of Course He’s Dead Part 2 好汉两个半
[21:12] Charlie escaped? Charlie逃跑了?
[21:14] Uh, no.Prisoners escape. 不 囚犯才会逃跑
[21:17] Lovers run away because they’re afraid of commitment. 情人不告而别是因为他们害怕承诺
[21:21] Any-who, I just thought I should tell you. 我就是觉得应该告诉你们一声
[21:23] You know, in case he drops by and guts you all like fish. 以防他顺便来访 然后把你们都开肠破肚了
[21:27] Why me?He doesn’t even know me. 关我什么事? 他都不认识我
[21:30] Oh,I told him all about you–how you’re richer than him, prettier than him, 你的事我都跟他说过 像是你比他有钱啦 比他帅啦
[21:33] and moved into his house and carried on like he never existed. 还有你住进了他的大房子 继续你的生活当他从没存在过啦
[21:38] Thank you. 我谢你全家啊
[21:41] Hold on, Rose. 等一下 Rose
[21:43] If Charlie is alive, who’s in the urn? 如果Charlie还活着 那骨灰罐里的是谁?
[21:46] Oh.That’s Billy. 是Billy啊
[21:48] Who’s Billy? Billy是谁?
[21:50] The bisexual goat who gave his life that your son might live. 就是那头为了救你儿子 贡献出生命的双性恋山羊啊
[21:55] So…so, what are we supposed to do now? 那我们现在该怎么办?
[21:57] Wait a second. 等等
[21:59] Are we really not gonna talk about the fact that Charlie was having sex with a goat? 我们就真的不讨论一下 Charlie跟山羊滚床单的事了吗?
[22:05] Well, you didn’t know Charlie.It would have been weirder if he hadn’t. 你不了解Charlie 他要是不跟它滚床单那才奇怪呢
[22:08] Well, now that you’re all caught up, I’ll say my good-byes. 现在你们都知道这事儿了 那我就告辞了
[22:12] – You’re leaving? – Um, yeah. – 你要走了? – 对啊
[22:15] I’m not gonna stick around to find out what he’s going to do to me 我才不会因为太爱他所以留在这儿
[22:17] just because I loved him too much. 研究他打算怎么报复我
[22:19] Toodles. 回见
[22:25] Nah.That’s just stupid. 那样也太蠢了
[22:31] No…no, no, no, no, this is ridiculous.He’s not gonna hurt anybody. 不不不 这太荒唐 他不会报复谁的
[22:35] Oh, of course not. 当然不会啦
[22:37] Rose, wait up. Rose 等等我
[22:40] What, you’re…you’re leaving, too? 什么 你…你也要走了?
[22:41] Alan, your brother wasn’t very pleasant if he missed his morning coffee. Alan 你哥哥就算错过了早晨的咖啡 都会感觉不爽
[22:44] How do you think he’s going to be after four years in a pit? 你觉得他在一个坑井里呆了四年 会怎么样?
[22:48] So you’re just gonna bail? 那你就打算这么逃跑了?
[22:50] Uh…yep. 对啊
[22:53] Berta, good-bye. Berta 再见
[22:55] I never really cared for you. 其实我从没怎么在乎过你
[22:59] Right back at you, Red. 我也一样 红发妞
[23:02] Walden…
[23:04] I loved you like a son. 我像爱亲生儿子一样爱你
[23:07] Alan…
[23:10] good luck. 自求多福吧
[23:16] – Well, I-I guess we should go, too.- Hold on. – 我…我觉得我们也应该赶紧走 – 等等
[23:19] We’re not really gonna run ’cause of some crazy woman’s story 我们不能因为一个疯婆子的几句话 和几条含糊不清短信威胁
[23:22] and some vague text threats. 就逃到别的地方去
[23:30] – Okay, this one’s a little more specific. – What does it say? – 好吧 这条说的就具体多了 – 说什么了?
[23:34] “You despicable troll.” “你是个卑鄙的巨魔”
[23:37] You thought you could replace my ninja awesomeness, “you lame clown?” 你以为你能取代我忍者的魅力吗?” 你这个蹩脚的小丑
[23:40] I will deploy my army of assassins to destroy you. 我会派出我的杀手战队摧毁你
[23:46] “I will bring my bayonets of truth “to the hexagon of death, 我会带上我真理的刺刀 前往死亡的六角星
[23:51] “where I will carve my initials into your reptilian skull 在那里我会将我名字的缩写 刻在你卑劣的头骨上
[23:56] and cover you in tiger’s blood.” 让你被老虎的血所覆盖 (Charlie Sheen常年自称自己有老虎血)
[24:04] Hard to believe he wrote children’s songs, isn’t it? 很难想象他能写出儿童歌曲吧?
[24:07] Yeah, we’re gonna need some help. 我们得去寻求帮助
[24:09] – Yeah, we’re gonna need a lot of help. – Here, try these. – 我们需要得力有效的帮助 – 来 试试这个
[24:13] They won’t keep him from hurting you, 这虽然不能让他不伤害你们
[24:15] but they will keep you from feeling it. 但至少会让你们感觉不到伤害
[24:21] Uh, thank you for meeting with us on such short notice, Lieutenant. 感谢你能在那么短的时间里见我们 警督
[24:25] Anything for you, my friend.How can I help? 乐意为你们效劳 伙计们 有什么我能帮上忙的?
[24:36] – So,uh,that’s about it, uh,uh,Lieutenant… – Wagner. – 事情就是这样 警督
[24:40] – Uh, Wagner. – No, not Wagner; Wagner. – 不是Wagner 是Wagner
[24:43] Uh, W-A-G-N-E-R.Wagner.
[24:48] “Vhatever.” “随便吧”
[24:52] All right, now, let me see if I got this straight. 好了 现在听听我理解的对不对
[24:55] 12 years ago, your wife kicked you out, 12年前 你老婆把你赶了出来
[24:59] and then you and your dumb son moved in with your brother. 然后你和你的傻儿子就搬去了你哥哥家
[25:04] Uh, uh, he wasn’t dumb at the beginning. 他其实一开始不傻
[25:06] Uh, he got dumb later on. 他是后来慢慢变傻的
[25:09] What happened? 发生了什么事?
[25:10] Uh, well, turned out it was funnier. 那样更好笑呗
[25:13] All right. 好吧
[25:14] So your brother then let you stay there eight and a half years rent-free 之后你哥哥就让你在那儿 免费蹭住了八年半
[25:18] even though you claim that he never liked you. 即使这样你还说他从来没喜欢过你
[25:21] Ah, you’re not the only one to point out the illogic. 你已经不是第一个觉得这不合逻辑的了
[25:24] And this brother of yours supposedly died in Paris 而你这个哥哥据说在巴黎
[25:28] under mysterious circumstances. 神秘死亡
[25:31] It wasn’t all that mysterious.I mean, 其实没那么神秘
[25:32] he was taking a lot of drugs and pissed off almost everybody. 他总是滥用毒品 把身边的人都惹火过 (依旧隐射Charlie Sheen..)
[25:37] And then you tried to drown yourself, 你企图跳海自杀
[25:40] but you changed your mind because the water was too cold. 但因为海水太冷了所以改了主意
[25:46] And then you got into his house and offered to buy it. 然后你去了他家 出钱买下了那房子
[25:49] It seemed like a good idea at the time. 那个时候觉得这主意挺好的
[25:53] And then you let him and his son stay there for four more years. 你后来就让他和他儿子在那里又住了四年
[25:58] – Right.- Rent-free. – 对 – 免费蹭住
[26:01] Well, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous. 你这样说听起来是挺荒谬的
[26:05] And then your dead brother’s previously unknown lesbian daughter shows up, 后来你死去哥哥没人知道的 同性恋女儿出现了
[26:09] and then you let her move in. 你们就让她也搬了进来
[26:11] You can’t write this stuff, huh? 这种故事鬼才编的出来 对吧?
[26:15] And then the two of you got married to each other. 之后你们两个就结婚了
[26:19] Yes. 对
[26:22] – But you’re not gay. – Well, I’m not. – 不过你们俩都不是同性恋 – 至少我不是
[26:26] And then you adopted a black child. 然后你们收养了一个黑人小孩
[26:28] Ah, ah, he’s, uh…he’s more Eurasian.Uh… 他…其实是欧亚混血
[26:33] Oh, what a sweetie pie. 真是个小可爱
[26:38] And the two of you are now divorced? 现在你们俩离婚了?
[26:40] But you’re living together. 但你们还是住在一起
[26:42] If I leave, the whole thing falls apart. 我要是走了的话 一切都会分崩离析的
[26:46] Yeah, of course.Uh, 可不是嘛
[26:48] and now the woman who stalked your brother and then married him 如今那个过去跟踪你哥哥 并跟他结婚的女人突然出现了
[26:52] all of a sudden shows up and she says that he’s not dead after all, 她告诉你们你哥哥根本就没死
[26:55] that she has been keeping him in a dungeon pit in the San Fernando Valley. 她一直把他关在圣费尔南多谷的 一个坑井地牢里
[26:59] Ah, uh, Sherman Oaks. 是谢尔曼奥克斯
[27:01] Uh, but the good part– uh, south of the boulevard. 但是地段优越 大道以南
[27:05] And then he escaped, and he sent you cigars and whiskey. 之后他逃了出来 给你寄了雪茄和威士忌
[27:08] Oh, and don’t forget the chasin’ knife. 别忘了还有追着他满屋跑的刀
[27:10] Oh, and the threatening text.He said, uh, 还发了威胁短信 他说
[27:12] “I’m coming home, and you’re gonna pay.” “我要回来了 而你要为此付出代价”
[27:15] I’m confused.’Cause you said he doesn’t pay for anything. 我被弄糊涂了 你不是说他什么都不带付的
[27:22] I think the point is, is that we need you to find him becau… 我觉得问题的关键是 我们需要您找到他 因为…
[27:25] This guy has some serious rage issues. 这家伙有严重的暴怒症
[27:28] Has he tried anger management? 他有试过愤怒管理吗? (愤怒管理是Charlie Sheen出走的新剧名)
[27:31] Yeah, but it didn’t work. 有 但没什么效果 (然后影射那个新剧不咋地- -)
[27:36] Okay. 好吧
[27:38] Well, I have this inscription now, 我已经做好笔录了
[27:41] and so if we find him, I’ll let you know. 如果我们找到了他 我们会通知你们的
[27:45] – Uh, well…Thank you. – Uh, really appreciate it. – 那…谢谢你 – 真的十分感谢
[27:47] No problem. 没什么
[27:49] – Now, if I can, uh, offer you a word of advice…- Mm-hmm? – 如果可以的话 我想给你们一个忠告? – 什么?
[27:53] I would consider wrapping this whole thing up. 我要是你们我会考虑来个了断
[27:55] Uh, what do you mean? 什么意思?
[27:57] I mean the whole living arrangement. 我是说结束这故事
[27:59] The kids, the girls, the beach house. 那些孩子们 姑娘们 还有那栋海边别墅
[28:01] I mean, this whole thing has been going on way too long. 这整个故事已经拖得太久太久了
[28:06] Yeah, a lot of people been saying that. 很多人都那么说
[28:09] Haters gonna hate. 有些人看什么都不喜欢
[28:16] We should get out of town for a couple of days.You know, 我们应该出城一段日子
[28:18] go to a nice resort, uh, get some facials, Mani-pedis. 去个漂亮的度假村 做做美容 修修指甲
[28:21] You know, a guys’ weekend. 男人的休闲 你懂的
[28:23] No…we’re not going anywhere. 不…我们哪儿都不去
[28:25] We got a state-of-the-art security system. 我们可是装了最先进安全系统的
[28:27] Nobody gets in unless we let them in. 除非我们让他进 否则没人能进来
[28:36] What the hell? 这是什么鬼?
[28:39] “We got a state-of-the-art security system. “我们可是装了最先进安全系统的
[28:41] – No one gets in unless we let them in.” – Shut up. – 除非我们让他进 否则没人能进来” – 闭上你的嘴
[28:43] – No, you shut up. – Hey. – 不 你闭嘴 – 你们好
[28:53] – Jake? – Oh, my God.Oh, my God!Oh, my God! – 我的天 我的天呐!
[28:58] Hey!What are you doing here? 你怎么来了?
[29:00] Yeah, I thought you were in the Army. 我还以为你参军了呢
[29:01] Come on.Look at me.Do I look like someone who’s in the Army? 得了吧 你好好看看我 我看起来像是参军的样子吗?
[29:05] Not on our side. 可以不是美国兵嘛
[29:08] Come in. 快进来
[29:11] Hey.These are pretty cool.Where’d you get them?Target? 这东西很酷呀 你们从哪儿买的? 塔吉特? (塔吉特的商标就是个靶)
[29:15] You get it?’Cause of the…there’s the circles… 你懂不? 因为这些…这些圆圈…
[29:18] Yeah, no, no, I got it.I got it. 别 我懂 我懂
[29:19] No.Here’s the thing. 是这样的
[29:20] – It turns out that your Uncle Charlie might still be alive. – Oh. 你叔叔Charlie可能还活着
[29:25] That would explain why I got a check for $250,000 怪不得我收到了一张25万的支票
[29:28] and a note that said, “I’m alive.” 还有一张便笺写着”我还活着”
[29:32] You have $250,000? 你收到了25万美元?
[29:34] Not anymore.I stopped in in Vegas on the way here. 现在没了 我来的路上去了趟维加斯
[29:37] Oh, God.How much do you have left? 我的天 你现在还剩多少钱?
[29:39] Two and a half million. 250万
[29:44] You won $2.5 million? 你赢了250万?
[29:47] Oh, yeah.It’s not that hard. 对啊 也不是很难赢
[29:48] I kept playing craps because, you know, “crap.” 我一直玩双骰子 因为你懂的 “屎”嘛
[29:53] Oh, and I kept betting on come, because… 然后我一直赌”来” 因为…
[29:58] Wow.That’s…amazing that you made so much money with such stupid jokes. 真是…太神奇了 你居然凭那么烂的笑话赢了那么多钱
[30:11] Taterhead! 大傻蛋!
[30:14] Hey, Berta. 嘿 Berta
[30:16] Oh, look at you!You look like a grown man. 瞧瞧你! 你现在看起来像个大人了
[30:19] Really?Which one? 是吗? 像哪个? (最早两个半就是两个大人一个小孩嘛)
[30:22] I’ve missed you. 我好想你
[30:23] – Berta, what are you still doing here? – No idea. – Berta 你怎么还在这儿? – 我也不知道啊
[30:28] By the way, you’re out of pot. 顺便说一下 你的大麻抽完了
[30:32] Where’d these things come from?Target? 这东西是从哪儿买的? 塔吉特?
[30:35] Ah.Too late.I already did that joke. 太晚了 我已经讲过这个笑话了
[30:37] No, somebody left them here.You didn’t hear anything? 不是 有人把它们摆在这儿了 你没听到什么动静吗?
[30:40] I heard colors. 我还听得到颜色呢
[30:42] No, I-I am telling you, Charlie is planning on killing us all. 我就跟你们说 Charlie打算把我们都杀了
[30:46] Okay.It was good to see you guys. 好吧 很高兴见到你们
[30:48] Wait, Th-that’s it?You’re leaving? 等等 就这样? 你这就打算走了?
[30:50] Oh, nothing personal– I just got to get back to Japan 不是针对你 我只是要回日本去了
[30:52] and tell my wife and kids that we’re rich. 告诉我老婆孩子我们发财啦
[30:54] You’re…you’re married? 你…你结婚了?
[30:56] – Yeah.Didn’t I mention that? – No. – 对啊 我没说起过吗? – 没有
[30:58] Wh-Wh-Wh-Whoa.You have kids? 你都有孩子了?
[31:00] Well, they’re hers.She’s a dancer. 那是她的孩子 她是个跳舞的
[31:03] Uh, let me guess– a pole dancer? 我猜…是个钢管舞娘吧?
[31:05] No, she’s Japanese. 不是 她是个日本人
[31:14] Well, see you. 好吧 回见
[31:19] All right, all right, we-we got to close these shades. 好吧 我们应该把窗帘都拉下来
[31:21] – Anybody on the beach will have a clear shot at us. – Right. – 任何在海滩上的人都能准确地瞄准我们 – 没错
[31:25] Do this… 这样…
[31:29] Man, it sucks to be you guys. 我去 你们俩死定了
[31:38] – Hello? – Judith, it’s me. – 你好? – Judith 是我
[31:40] Oh, hey, Alan.Isn’t it wonderful about Jake? 你好 Alan Jake现在是不是很棒啊?
[31:43] – Uh, yeah, wonderful.Listen… – Did he give you $100,000, too? – 嗯 好极了 听着… – 他有没有也给你10万块啊?
[31:46] – He gave you $100,000? – No.What do you want? – 他给了你10万块? – 没 你想要怎么样?
[31:50] Uh, uh, okay, long story short– it turns out my brother is alive 好吧 长话短说 事实上我哥哥还活着
[31:54] – and he’s out for revenge. – Revenge?For what? – 而且他现在要来找我报仇 – 报仇? 为什么?
[31:57] Well, he didn’t think I could go on without him. 他觉得离了他我就活不下去了
[31:59] He thought I was more of a supporting character in his life, 他以为我是他人生的配角 (之前就算报艾美 Alan报名的也是配角)
[32:02] but it turns out I-I was sort of a co-lead. 但事实证明 我算是联合主演呐 (Charlie出走后Alan才拿了最佳男主角)
[32:04] Um, a-anyway, I just wanted you to know that if anything were to happen to me, 总之 我就想告诉你 如果我出了什么意外的话
[32:10] you were the love of my life. 你是我此生挚爱
[32:12] Oh, Alan, that is so sweet.Hang on, honey.I’m getting another call. Alan 这太暖心了 等等 亲爱的 有电话进来
[32:25] She’s not coming back. 她不会再回来了
[32:31] Hello? 你好?
[32:33] Bridget, hi.It’s Walden. Bridget 我是Walden
[32:36] Hey, Walden.What’s up? 嘿 Walden 什么事?
[32:37] I can’t go into detail, but I just… 我不能跟你细说 但我…
[32:40] I wanted to say that I wish I’d been a better husband. 我就想告诉你 我真希望我当初能做个好老公
[32:44] Well, thank you. 谢谢
[32:47] And I just want to say that… 我就想告诉你…
[32:49] I’m having sex with John Stamos. 我在跟John Stamos滚床单
[32:54] I’m not lying. 我可没撒谎噢
[32:56] Go for Stamos. 我是Stamos
[32:59] Stamos, you’re just a handsome guy who got lucky on a sitcom. Stamos 你不过就是一个 演过情景喜剧的帅哥而已
[33:03] Listen, um, I’m just gonna set the phone down 听着 我现在把电话放下
[33:06] so you can listen to me shish-kebab your old lady, okay?Bye-bye. 这样你就能听到 我跟你前妻滚床单的声音了 掰掰
[33:13] Hold on, fellas. 等一下 各位
[33:16] Hello. 你好
[33:17] – Uh, Kandi, it’s Alan. – Oh, hi, Alan! – Kandi 我是Alan – 你好呀 Alan!
[33:20] I just wanted you to know that, 我就想告诉你
[33:22] even though we were only married for a short time, 虽然我们俩的婚姻维持了没多久
[33:25] you were the love of my life. 你是我此生挚爱
[33:27] Oh, how sweet. 真是太温情了
[33:29] And you were the first guy I had tushy sex with. 你也是第一个跟我肛交的人
[33:32] You guys didn’t hear that. 你们可没听见我这句话哦
[33:36] Hello. 喂
[33:38] Zoey.Hi.It’s Walden. Zoey 我是Walden
[33:41] Oh, Walden.How are you, darling? Walden 你好吗亲爱的?
[33:46] Uh, not so good.Uh… 不是很好…
[33:48] that’s why I’m calling.I… 所以我给你打电话 我…
[33:50] I just wanted to tell you that.. 我就是想告诉你…
[33:52] I’ve been thinking about you lately, and… 我最近一直在想你…
[33:55] I’m sorry about the way things ended. 我很抱歉我们俩分手闹得不太愉快
[33:57] Oh, well…water under the bridge. 算了…逝者如斯夫
[34:00] Listen, I’d love to chat, but I’m in the middle of a coronation. 听着 我很想跟你聊聊 但是我现在正在加冕仪式中
[34:08] – Of a what? – A coronation. – 什么? – 加冕仪式
[34:10] I married King Rupert of Moldavia, and I’m being crowned queen, so… 我嫁给了摩尔多瓦的国王 我现在正在被加冕为皇后 所以…
[34:16] You’re the queen of Moldavia? 你现在是摩尔多瓦的皇后?
[34:19] What can I say?Thank you, JDate. 我能说什么呢? 感谢约会网站咯
[34:22] Shalom. 回聊
[34:26] Darling, you still breathing? 亲爱的 你还活着吗?
[34:30] Hello? 喂?
[34:31] – Lyndsey, it’s Alan. – Hi, Alan. – Lyndsey 我是Alan – 嘿 Alan
[34:34] I was just showing off the beautiful engagement ring you gave me. 我刚刚还在炫耀 你给我的那枚闪耀的订婚戒指呢
[34:39] Great.Listen,I just wanted you to know that if anything were to happen to me, 太好了 听着 我就想告诉你 如果我出了什么意外的话
[34:44] you were the love of my life. 你是我此生挚爱
[34:47] Oh, baby.You’re the love of my life. 亲爱的 你也是我此生挚爱
[34:50] So, how much? 怎么样 值多少钱?
[34:55] Okay, I will say it one more time. 好 我再说一遍
[34:57] Resort hotel till the cops find him.We can be in Vegas in two hours. 在警察抓到他之前我们就躲在假日酒店里 我们两个小时就能杀到维加斯呢
[35:01] Styx is playing Mandalay Bay. Styx正在曼德勒海湾表演呢 (70年代摇滚乐队)
[35:03] No, if I let Charlie drive me out of this house, 不 要是我让Charlie把我从这家里撵走
[35:06] – I reward his bad behavior. – Yeah. 我就是在鼓励他这种坏习惯
[35:09] That’s only supposed to happen in show business. 这种事不应该只在演艺圈才有的嘛
[35:11] – Which we are not in. – Not anymore. – 我们就不是演艺圈的人 – 不会是了
[35:19] – Oh.Hello? – Valden? – 你好?
[35:21] – Walden. – That’s what I said. – 是Walden – 我不就是那么叫的嘛
[35:25] Look, I have good news.We found your boy. 我有个好消息 我们找到那个人了
[35:28] – They found Charlie.- Are-are they sure? – 他们找到Charlie了 – 他们确定吗?
[35:30] Uh, uh, are…are you sure it’s him? 你…你确实是他吗?
[35:32] Well, he matches the description. 他符合你们的描述
[35:34] Bowling shirt, cargo shorts, and he’s babbling away incoherently. 保龄球衫 短裤 嘴里语无伦次
[35:39] That sounds like him.Wh-Where’d you find him? 那听起来就是他了 你们在哪儿找到他的?
[35:41] In a trashed hotel room with a hooker in the closet. 在一个垃圾酒店房间里 衣柜里还有个妓女 (还是影射Charlie Sheen…)
[35:45] That’s absolutely him. 那绝对是他
[35:47] Oh, my…Thank you so much.This is a huge relief. 太感激你了 这样真是松了口气
[35:49] Oh, you’re welcome.Uh, see you in the gym. 不客气 健身房见吧
[35:52] Okay.Hasta la vista. 好的 再见啦
[35:55] I’m telling you, I’m not Charlie Harper. 我告诉过你了 我不是Charlie Harper
[35:58] – Then who are you? – My name is Christian Slater. – 那你是谁? – 我叫Christian Slater
[36:01] I’m an actor, all right? 我是个演员好吗?
[36:03] I was in a bar, and this guy hands me a drink. 我当时在酒吧里 有个人给了我杯喝的
[36:05] Next thing I know, I wake up in a hotel room dressed like a 12-year-old, 等我恢复意识时 我在酒店房间里 穿得像个12岁的孩子
[36:08] with a screaming woman in the closet. 还有个女人在衣橱里大叫
[36:11] Yeah, right.And I’m the governor of California. 可不是嘛 我还是加州州长呢 (阿诺施瓦辛格真的做过加州州长)
[36:15] That bitch stole my watch. 那贱人还偷了我的手表呐
[36:30] What do you think Charlie will do when he gets out of jail? 你觉得等Charlie从监狱里 放出来了他会干嘛?
[36:32] Well, if the past is any indication, 如果借鉴以前的经历的话
[36:36] he’ll sober up and reflect on his past mistakes, 他会戒酒 反省自己过去的错
[36:39] apologize to everyone,and then do something even worse. 向每个人道歉 然后干点更离谱的事
[36:44] See, I’m not so pessimistic. 我没那么悲观
[36:46] I’m hoping someday he and I can be buddies. 我一直希望有一天 他和我会成为小伙伴
[36:55] Good one. 说得好
[36:58] By the way, when this cigar is done, so am I. 另外 等我抽完这支雪茄 我也完事了
[37:02] – Yeah, you calling it a day? – Calling it a career. – 你要下班了吗? – 我不干了
[37:05] You’re quitting? 你要辞职?
[37:06] I didn’t want to rub your nose in it, 我本不想提起这事儿的
[37:08] but Charlie sent me a big-ass check, so I’m out of here. 但是Charlie给我寄了一张大额支票 所以我要离开这儿了
[37:12] – Where you gonna go? – Don’t know. – 那你要去哪儿? – 不知道
[37:14] Somewhere the sun is bright, the pot is strong and the men are stupid. 去阳光灿烂 大麻够劲儿 男人够蠢的地方
[37:20] That’s here. 那不就是这儿嘛
[37:23] You’re right. 你说得对
[37:25] I’m staying. 我不走了
[37:31] Wow.Look at that. 你们看那儿
[37:36] Someone’s having a piano delivered by helicopter. 有人在用直升机运钢琴
[37:40] Mmm.That’s the kind of extravagant thing Charlie would do. 这有点像Charlie奢侈的风格
[37:43] Oh, uh, he had a baby grand just like that. 而且他有台跟这个一样的钢琴
[37:46] It’s coming right this way. 他就朝着我们这里飞过来了
[37:49] You don’t think that it’s possible that the cops got the wrong guy, do you? 你们有没有想过警察可能抓错人了?
[37:56] – Nah. – Nah. – 切 – 不可能
[38:20] Winning. 赢的人是我 (Chuck Lorre 哎呀小气 先骂人的还是你)
好汉两个半

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点击预览定制截图

好汉两个半(Two and a Half Men)剧集台词目录:

在线阅读
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在线阅读
S02E01
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在线阅读
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
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S03E07
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S03E20
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S03E22
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在线阅读
S04E01
S04E02
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S04E05
S04E06
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