时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:00] | Southbridge Comprehensive. How can I help? | 您好 南桥综合中学 有什么能帮您的 |
[00:01] | Hello. This is Herbert Jones, | 您好 我是Herbert Jones |
[00:03] | and I work for the Bone Marrow Registry of England and Wales. | 我在英格兰及威尔士骨髓登记中心工作 |
[00:11] | I am trying to get in contact with one of your former teachers, | 想要联系之前在那边工作的一位老师 |
[00:13] | a Miss…Melodie Thomas. | Melodie Thomas女士 |
[00:17] | It seems that she may be a potential match for one of our patients. | 她似乎能和我们这的一名病人配型 |
[00:20] | Sorry, we can’t give out any personal information. | 对不起 我们不能泄露任何个人信息 |
[00:23] | Oh. Well, that’s fine. I’m sure our patient will understand… | 哦 这样啊 没事 我相信我们病人会理解的 |
[00:27] | when they’re dead! | 在他们死透了的时候 |
[00:35] | What do you think would be a nice present for your mum | 你觉得有什么礼物适合送给你妈妈 |
[00:38] | when she finishes radiotherapy? | 在她结束化疗之后 |
[00:40] | Hello? Veronica just asked you a que… | 喂 Veronica在问你话 |
[00:43] | Would you mind not using that at the breakfast table? | 你能不能不要在餐桌上用电脑 |
[00:45] | Actually, I would. I’ve found an amazing deal for my Euro trip. | 好像不能 我刚发现一个特划算的欧洲之旅 |
[00:48] | And it’s going to be gone in a couple of minutes unless we act now. | 要是不快点抢的话 马上就没了 |
[00:50] | What Euro trip? | 什么欧洲之旅 |
[00:51] | The one for my 16th birthday. | 我的16岁生日礼物 |
[00:53] | I’ve found a package that takes me to Barcelona, | 我找到一个行程套餐 包括巴塞罗那 |
[00:55] | Rome, Athens, Istanbul, Munich | 罗马 雅典 伊斯坦布尔 慕尼黑 |
[00:57] | and Stockholm, home of the world’s largest Ikea. | 和斯德哥尔摩 那可有世界上最大的宜家 |
[00:59] | 只要2500英镑 | |
[01:01] | Can I use your credit card? | 我能刷你的卡吗 |
[01:02] | – I already know the number. – Definitely not. | – 我知道你的卡号 – 想都别想 |
[01:04] | What 16-year-old goes alone on a trip round Europe? | 你个16岁的小孩一个人在欧洲游什么 |
[01:06] | Malala won a Nobel prize when she was 16. | 马拉拉16岁都得诺贝尔奖了 |
[01:09] | It was the Peace Prize. They give that to anyone. | 那是和平奖 他们谁都发 |
[01:11] | If you don’t want me to go alone, | 如果你担心我一个人 |
[01:12] | I can always just ask Murray Thomas. | 我可以叫上Murray Thomas一起 |
[01:14] | His crippling sleep apnoea has nearly cleared up now. | 他睡觉呼吸骤停的毛病现在快好了 |
[01:17] | You get straight As in your GCSEs, then we’ll talk. | 等你GCSE会考得了全优再说吧 |
[01:19] | That’s not fair. | 这不公平 |
[01:20] | I’m bored of formal education. I’m trying to enrich myself. | 我受够传统形式教育了 我要丰富自己的人生 |
[01:23] | If you feel that strongly about it, | 如果你真这么坚持的话 |
[01:24] | you’re old enough to get a job and pay for the trip yourself. | 那你也到了找个工作 自己挣钱旅游的年纪了 |
[01:26] | A job? You want ME to get a job? | 工作 你要我去工作 |
[01:29] | Me? A rebel thinker? | 我 一个反叛的思想者 |
[01:31] | Hands of a Victorian lady? | 一双旧式淑女的纤纤素手 |
[01:33] | Do I look like I’m built for hard labour? | 看上去像是干体力活的人吗 |
[01:35] | I’m not ordering you down the mines. | 我又不是要你下井挖矿 |
[01:37] | What century are you living in? | 你活在什么时代啊 |
[01:38] | Why don’t you just… blog for money or something? | 你可以 写写博客赚钱什么的 |
[01:41] | Ha! You think writing pays money? | 哈 你觉得写作能赚钱 |
[01:43] | What century are YOU living in? | 你活在什么时代啊 |
[01:47] | How do you know my credit card number? | 你是怎么知道我信用卡号的 |
[01:49] | – Jesus, Andy! – What? You’re just peeing. | – 天Andy – 怎么 你不就在尿尿么 |
[01:52] | This had better be good. | 最好是好消息 |
[01:53] | I was about to break my Wordament high score. | 我的拼字游戏差点就要破纪录了 |
[01:54] | I can’t decide which guitar to use for the song that I’m writing. | 我不知道应该用哪把吉他来弹我写的歌 |
[01:58] | Have you ever heard of Old Black? | 你听说过老黑吗 |
[02:00] | Don’t tell me that’s what you call Bruce’s penis. | 别告诉我你是这么叫Bruce的鸡鸡的 |
[02:02] | No, that’s Will Smith II. | 不 我叫它威尔史密斯二世 |
[02:04] | No, I’m talking about Neil Young’s guitar. | 不 我说的是Neil Young的吉他 |
[02:05] | What do you know about Neil Young’s…? | 你什么时候知道Neil Young |
[02:06] | The TV was stuck on BBC Four one night. | 有天晚上 电视一直卡在BBC四台 |
[02:08] | Neil’s had Old Black for, like, 40 years, | Neil拥有老黑得有40年了 |
[02:10] | even though she weighs a ton and gives him back pain. | 尽管她死沉死沉 还给了他背痛的毛病 |
[02:12] | Now, why would Neil put up with that | 那为什么Neil非得用老黑呢 |
[02:14] | when he could buy any guitar in the world? | 他完全能买得起世界上任何一把吉他 |
[02:16] | Will Smith II? Seriously? | 威尔史密斯二世 你讲真吗 |
[02:19] | It’s because he’s dedicated to her, for better or worse. | 因为他对她十分忠诚 无论顺境逆境 |
[02:22] | That is why Neil’s the kind of guy he is. | 正是这样才造就了Neil成为现在的他 |
[02:24] | He puts in the hours to make the relationship work. | 他投入大量的时间来维系感情 |
[02:26] | Can you see me settling down and getting married? | 你能想象我有朝一日 稳定下来 然后结婚吗 |
[02:30] | We learn how to form healthy relationships from our parents. | 我们从父母那里学到了如何建立健康的感情 |
[02:33] | That’s a yes. | 所以你的答案是肯定咯 |
[02:34] | You’re screwed. Now, get out. | 你完蛋了 好了 滚出去吧 |
[02:36] | Hang on, are you hiding in here? | 等下 你是躲在这吗 |
[02:39] | No, I’m just enjoying my last moments of peace | 不 我只是在享受最后的宁静 |
[02:40] | before Mum and Dad arrive from Spain tonight. | 在爸妈今晚从西班牙回来之前 |
[02:42] | What are you stressed about? They’re not that bad. | 你干嘛这么紧张 他们又不坏 |
[02:44] | Oh, really, says the golden child? | 是吗 你是他们爱子当然这么说 |
[02:46] | Meanwhile, I’m the one that has to smile | 而我呢 我可是那个时时刻刻要保持微笑的人 |
[02:47] | while Mum criticises my hair and goes on about homoeopathic cures, | 无论是在妈妈批评我发型 唠叨她的顺势疗法时 |
[02:51] | and Dad boasts about his five seconds as a folk singer. | 还是在爸爸鼓吹他短暂的民谣歌手生涯时 |
[02:54] | And, yes, I’ve stocked up on booze, and, no, I haven’t had any, | 对 没错 我存了不少酒 但我今天没喝 |
[02:57] | and, no, I’m not going to tell you where it is. | 并且 我不会告诉你酒都藏在哪儿了 |
[02:58] | – You’re no fun. – I know, | – 你这人真没意思 – 我知道 |
[02:59] | but someone’s got to be the adult in this family. | 但这个家总要有个成熟点的人 |
[03:02] | Oh! God, they’re early! Get out. | 噢 天 他们来早了 快出去 |
[03:05] | Go. Shit. | 走 妈的 |
[03:06] | Ah! Look who’s here. | 啊 看看这是谁啊 |
[03:08] | It’s my rock star. | 我的超级巨星啊 |
[03:10] | Can you spare a kiss for your number-one fan? | 能给你头号粉丝一个吻吗 |
[03:12] | Or you can sign my tits if you prefer. | 或者你更想在我咪咪上签名 |
[03:14] | Why do I have to choose? | 就不能两个都选吗 |
[03:17] | What do you think of my tan, eh? | 觉得我晒得美不美 |
[03:19] | It’s nice. | 美得很 |
[03:20] | Full coverage. | 全身都晒了 |
[03:21] | Yeah. The neighbours enjoyed the full view, didn’t they, Jane? | 是啊 邻居也观赏到了”全景” 对吧 Jane |
[03:25] | Look at that face. | 看看这张脸 |
[03:27] | If I had a mug like that, I’d never leave the house. | 我要是有这样一张脸 我都不出门 |
[03:29] | I’d just stand naked in the mirror, loving myself all day. | 就赤裸裸站在镜子前 全天宠爱自己 |
[03:34] | Loving yourself has never | 宠爱自己对你来说 |
[03:35] | really been your problem, has it, Neville? | 从来都不是问题 对吧 Neville |
[03:37] | Oh! And here’s my cancer warrior. | 噢 这是我的抗癌斗士 |
[03:40] | Honk-honk! Hello, girls! They’re looking perky. | 嚯嚯 你们俩好啊 姑娘们 她们看上去真挺 |
[03:43] | Yeah, well, the radiation therapy can cause… | 嗯 放疗可能会导致 |
[03:45] | Radiation! You only had stage two. | 什么放疗 你癌症才是早期 |
[03:48] | Why are you bothering with that rubbish? | 搞那些乌七八糟的干嘛 |
[03:49] | It’ll just give you more cancer down the line. | 它只会害你的癌细胞继续扩散的 |
[03:51] | Says the woman who smokes unfiltered cigarettes. | 这话竟然从一个抽无过滤嘴烟的人嘴里说出来 |
[03:53] | I offset it with homoeopathy. | 我把这从顺势疗法里删掉了 |
[03:55] | Speaking of, I’ve brought you some fluoride-of-lime tablets. | 说起来 我还给你带了点萤石片剂 |
[03:58] | I promise, you don’t need any more of this radioactive mess. | 我保证 你才不需要什么放疗呢 |
[04:02] | – It’s just the medical industry trying to make money out of you. – Great | – 这就是医疗产业榨你的钱呢 – 真好 |
[04:05] | Now, what’s going on with your roots? | 你的发根现在怎么样了 |
[04:06] | So, you guys are early. | 你们提前回来了啊 |
[04:08] | Your mother thought we should surprise you. | 你妈妈说我们该给你俩一个惊喜 |
[04:10] | So… | 所以 |
[04:11] | Surprise! | 惊讶吧 |
[04:13] | And Brian’s been looking after us lovely. | Brian一直很细心地照顾我们 |
[04:15] | He pours a mean Baileys. | 他百利酒调的一绝 |
[04:16] | – Mum, it’s Bruce. – Brian’s cool, though. | – 妈 他叫Bruce – 叫Brian也没关系 |
[04:18] | I’m not the Messiah. | 我才不是救世主呢 |
[04:20] | I’ve been a very naughty boy! | 我一直是个淘气的小男孩 |
[04:24] | Monty Python. | 巨蟒的台词 |
[04:25] | Bruce, did you know that I once opened for Billy Bragg? | Bruce 你知道吗 我有次给Billy Bragg暖过场 |
[04:28] | Oh, hello there. | 你们好啊 |
[04:30] | Someone call the police | 快叫警察 |
[04:31] | there’s an illegally handsome young man on the premises. | 这里有个英俊得犯法的年轻人 |
[04:34] | And Errol! | 还有Errol |
[04:35] | When did you get so big? | 你什么时候长这么大了 |
[04:37] | Oh, if I was 30 years younger… | 噢 如果我再年轻个30岁 |
[04:39] | Jesus, Mum, he’s your grandson. | 天哪 妈 这是你外孙啊 |
[04:41] | Oh, you’re so uptight, Sammy. | 噢 你真不会开玩笑 Sammy |
[04:42] | Now, let’s have a look at this tattoo. | 让我来看看这纹身 |
[04:44] | Don’t worry, when you get a bit older | 别担心 等你再大一点 |
[04:46] | you can change it to something cool. Like “Samurai”. | 能改成更酷一点的 “日本武士”之类的 |
[04:48] | Ooh, I bought you a pressie. | 对了 我给你带了点礼品 |
[04:53] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[04:54] | I thought you were coming later. | 我以为你们会晚点回来 |
[04:56] | We couldn’t wait to give everyone the big news. | 我们等不及告诉大家这个重大消息了 |
[05:00] | We’re getting divorced. | 我们要离婚了 |
[05:03] | Could I get a top-up, Brian? | Brian 能帮我把酒杯加满吗 |
[05:04] | Divorced?! | 离婚 |
[05:06] | Oh, do you know what this means? | 你知道这意味着什么吗 |
[05:08] | Yeah, one of them’s going to be sleeping in Tiff’s room, | 知道 他们中的一个要睡在Tiff的房里 |
[05:10] | one of them’s going to be sleeping in my room. | 另一个要睡在我房里 |
[05:12] | I can’t sleep in your Petri dish of a flat. | 我不想搬到你这个细菌培养皿似的公寓里 |
[05:14] | No. If they’re getting divorced, | 不 如果他们离婚了 |
[05:16] | what chance do I have of being in a healthy relationship? | 我还有多大机会能开始一段正常的感情生活 |
[05:18] | They’re literally my only role models. | 他们基本上可以算是我唯一的榜样了 |
[05:20] | Relax. | 放轻松 |
[05:22] | Divorce is a gift. Two parents fighting for attention, | 离婚是福 两个家长都争求你的注意 |
[05:24] | two bedrooms, two birthdays, two Christmases, | 两个卧室 两个生日 两次圣诞 |
[05:27] | twice the guilt. | 两倍愧疚 |
[05:28] | I’m an expert on divorce. | 我可是离婚专家 |
[05:29] | I can teach you to get whatever you want. | 我能教你得到任何想要的东西 |
[05:31] | I want my mum and dad to stay married, | 我想我爸妈不离婚 |
[05:33] | and I’m going to keep them together, | 我一定要让他们在一起 |
[05:34] | and if I can do that, then I can make any relationship work. | 如果成功了 那以后我自己的感情也不会有问题 |
[05:37] | I’m sorry, sweetie. I remember when my folks split up. | 我很抱歉 宝贝 我记得我父母分手的时候 |
[05:39] | Same week Ginger left the Spice Girls. | 和姜汁辣妹离开辣妹组合是同一周 |
[05:42] | – Dark times. – I don’t care about them divorcing. | – 黑暗的日子啊 – 我才不在乎他们离婚 |
[05:45] | – They should have done that years ago. – Then what is it? | – 他们早就该离了 – 那你不开心什么 |
[05:46] | I thought that being sick would change things with Mum. | 我以为我生病以后 和我妈的关系能有所改善 |
[05:49] | But Andy’s always going to be the Jake to my Maggie. | 但Andy一直是杰克 我就像玛吉一样活在阴影下 |
[05:52] | – What? – Maggie Gyllenhaal. | – 什么 – 玛吉·吉伦哈尔 |
[05:54] | She’s older and cooler but | 她更年长也更酷 |
[05:55] | Jake gets all the attention because he’s a boy. | 但是杰克吸引了所有人的注意 就因为他是个男孩子 |
[05:57] | But she killed it in Secretary. | 但她在<秘书>里演技绝了 |
[05:58] | I know! Argh! | 可不是嘛 啊 |
[06:01] | Just forget it. I’m a therapist, | 当我没说过 我是个治疗师 |
[06:02] | I’m not going to fall into any old traps. | 我不能掉入任何从前的情绪陷阱里 |
[06:04] | – That’s my Sam. – But it’s not fair! | – 这才是我的Sam – 但这不公平 |
[06:06] | I’m the one with cancer! | 我才是得了癌症的啊 |
[06:08] | They should baby me at least a little bit. | 他们起码得更宝贝我点儿啊 |
[06:10] | And that passive-aggressive shit with Mum calling you Brian! | 还有妈妈叫你Brian来表明她的消极抵抗 |
[06:12] | She never would have done that with Ben! | 她从来没有这么对Ben |
[06:13] | I know. Don’t worry. I’ll set her straight. | 我知道 不要担心 我会让她喜欢上我的 |
[06:16] | Brian, where’s the bottle opener? | Brian 开瓶器在哪啊 |
[06:18] | Top drawer, next to the fridge. | 冰箱旁边 最上边的那个抽屉 |
[06:23] | We should get a lock on the door. | 我们应该把门锁上 |
[06:24] | I can’t have more idiots barging in and saying stupid shit. | 不能再让那些白痴闯进来胡说八道些什么了 |
[06:26] | I’m stopping Mum and Dad from getting a divorce! Who’s with me? | 我要挽救老爸老妈的婚姻 谁和我一起 |
[06:35] | I don’t get it. What is the point in a divorce stag do? | 我不明白 离婚的单身派对有什么意义 |
[06:38] | Simple reverse psychology. | 逆反心理学而已 |
[06:39] | Once we remind Dad how shit it is being single, | 一旦我们让老爸意识到单身有多么糟糕 |
[06:41] | he’ll run straight back to Mum. | 他就不会和老妈离婚了 |
[06:42] | While you’re throwing away the gift of a lifetime, | 当你忙着丢掉生命赐予你的珍贵礼物时 |
[06:44] | I’ll be twisting Dad and Bruce to my will. | 我要去操纵爸爸和Bruce听从我的意愿 |
[06:46] | Go, divorce! | 离婚万岁 |
[06:49] | Yeah, Dad, | 是啊 老爸 |
[06:50] | nothing says recently single like slippery wood and heavy balls. | 没什么比”不稳的棍”和”沉重的球”更能表明你恢复单身了 |
[06:53] | Don’t worry, old-timer! We’ll get through this together. | 不要伤心 老家伙 我们会陪你一起度过难关的 |
[06:56] | You don’t have to cheer me up, son. | 你没有必要安慰我 儿子 |
[06:58] | We’re NOT cheering you up. | 我们才没有在安慰你 |
[07:01] | We’re celebrating your new life. | 我们只是在庆祝你的人生新篇章 |
[07:03] | Being single is my second-greatest achievement next to the time | 单身是我人生中第二伟大成就 仅次于有一次 |
[07:06] | I came this close to touching a tit with my tongue. | 我差这么一点点就能用舌头舔到自己乳头了 |
[07:09] | – Can I smell whisky? – Ben, get over here, | – 我闻到威士忌了吗 – Ben 快过来 |
[07:12] | you useless Tory twat! | 你这个没用的保守党傻逼 |
[07:15] | I missed you, too, you big lefty drunk! | 我也想你了 你这个左翼老酒鬼 |
[07:18] | Hey, where’s my hug, you…socialist alky? | 嘿 我也来抱一个 你这个 社会主义醉汉 |
[07:23] | Classic bants there, Bruce The fun’s already begun. | 经典玩笑话啊 Bruce 大家一起去找乐子吧 |
[07:25] | Mum who? Am I right? | 去我妈的 对吧 |
[07:29] | Oh. Oooh. Get off. | 喔 喔 滚开 |
[07:31] | Get… Oh! | 滚 喔 |
[07:31] | Psycho? | <惊魂记>吗 |
[07:33] | No… Er… | 不是 呃 |
[07:34] | Ooh. Ooh. Naughty. Get away. | 喔 喔 不乖 快滚开 |
[07:36] | Fifty Shades Of Grey? | <五十度灰>吗 |
[07:39] | – The Revenant? – Yes! | – <荒野猎人> – 答对了 |
[07:41] | Ben’s new wife’s energetic. | Ben的新老婆挺有激情啊 |
[07:42] | Oh, we’re not married, | 噢 我们还没结婚呢 |
[07:44] | but we have been engaged for…almost two years. | 但是我们已经订婚了 快两年了 |
[07:46] | All right, Tiff, you’re up next. | 好了 Tiff 下一个你来 |
[07:48] | – Who’s Tiff? – Me. I’m Bruce’s ex-stepdaughter. | – 谁是Tiff – 是我 我是Bruce的前继女 |
[07:51] | – Who’s Bruce? – BRIAN’S ex-stepdaughter. | – 谁又是Bruce – Brian的前继女 |
[07:53] | Oh, well, why didn’t you say so? | 噢 你干嘛不早说啊 |
[07:55] | What time does the stripper get here? | 脱衣舞男什么时候过来啊 |
[07:56] | Mum, I keep telling you, there is no stripper. | 不是说了嘛 没有脱衣舞男 |
[07:58] | Andy would have got me a stripper. | Andy要在的话 一定会给我找一个 |
[08:00] | Well, Andy’s not here, and tonight is about sisterhood. | 但Andy没在这里 而且今天是女生之夜 |
[08:02] | We don’t need a man to validate us. | 我们才不需要男人来认可我们呢 |
[08:04] | We are celebrating singledom and girl power. | 我们要庆祝单身和女性力量 |
[08:07] | Who needs men, right? | 谁还需要男人啊 对吧 |
[08:08] | This soon-to-be divorcee who | 这个即将要离婚 |
[08:09] | hasn’t been on the market for 39 years, that’s who. | 并且39年没有混过情场的人 她需要男人 |
[08:12] | Come on, Jane, you just need some charades in your life. | 来嘛 Jane 你的人生需要体验一下”你演我猜” |
[08:15] | I’ll give it a pass, thanks. | 谢邀 但我拒绝 |
[08:17] | Sounds like somebody’s afraid of losing. | 听起来某人是输不起啊 |
[08:19] | I love losing. | 我喜欢失去 |
[08:21] | I lost my virginity twice. | 我失去过两次处女之身 |
[08:22] | Once in the V-hole and once in the A… | 一次是前面 一次是后 |
[08:24] | Another drink coming right up. | 下一杯马上就来 |
[08:25] | I got it. A-hole. | 我知道 后面的洞 |
[08:29] | You’re going to love being single. | 你一定会爱上单身的 |
[08:31] | Goodbye, putting down the toilet seat. | 再也不用放下马桶圈了 |
[08:33] | Goodbye, sharing the bed. Hello, online dating. | 也再不需要和别人挤一张床 拥抱在线约会吧 |
[08:36] | We’re going to have you swiping right | 我们会让你右划的速度 |
[08:37] | faster than you can say, “Meaningless shag for one, please.” | 比你开口说”纯粹约炮 一位速来”还要快的 |
[08:41] | Nothing beats the thrill of playing Russian roulette with your penis. | 没有比用你的鸡鸡来玩俄罗斯轮盘更刺激的事情了 |
[08:45] | You know, the over-50s have the fastest-growing rate of STDs. | 你知道么 50岁以上群体患性病的增长速度是最快的 |
[08:48] | Interesting. | 有点意思哦 |
[08:49] | Actually, Jane never took up much room in bed. | 其实 Jane在床上几乎不占地方 |
[08:52] | And with my knees, I prefer to piss sitting down. | 我膝盖不太好 更喜欢坐下来撒尿 |
[08:54] | And I was never one for meaningless sex. | 而且我也从来不喜欢约炮 |
[08:57] | I guess I’m just a bit old-fashioned. | 可能是因为我这人骨子里比较传统吧 |
[08:59] | Divorce is bad, but online dating’s the worst. | 离婚虽然不好 但是在线约会才是最烂的 |
[09:02] | – What happened, anyway? – We just… | – 你们之间到底怎么了 – 我们就是 |
[09:05] | ..Grew apart. | 渐行渐远了 |
[09:06] | Is it too late to fix it? | 还有机会挽救吗 |
[09:09] | Why would he want to fix it? | 他为啥要挽救啊 |
[09:10] | You’re taking this much better than I thought, son. | 你比我想象中的坚强多了 |
[09:12] | Your mum had this mad idea you’d have a meltdown | 你老妈还以为你肯定会大崩溃 |
[09:14] | and make it about you. | 然后把整件事又扯到自己身上呢 |
[09:17] | I just want to see my old man happy. | 我只想看到老爸开心就好 |
[09:20] | And once you get over the soul-crushing loneliness of bachelorhood, | 只要你捱过光棍时期这种铺天盖地毁灭灵魂的孤独 |
[09:24] | it’s all guns and roses. | 未来一切都是光明了 |
[09:26] | You’re now free to go wherever you like. Unlike me. | 现在你可以想去哪就去哪了 不像我 |
[09:29] | – Dad thinks I’m too young to see Europe. – I didn’t say that. | – 爸爸说我年纪太小不能去欧洲 – 我可没这么说 |
[09:32] | That’s a bit harsh. I wish I’d travelled more when I was young. | 有点无情啊 我年轻时倒想多出去看看 |
[09:35] | I used to get nosebleeds just going north of Waterloo. | 可惜一旦到滑铁卢以北的地方我就会开始流鼻血 |
[09:37] | See? Bruce gets it. | 看见没 Bruce懂我 |
[09:39] | Anyway, back to Dad’s great new life… | 好了 说回老爸的伟大新生活 |
[09:41] | We can go out on double dates. | 咱俩可以一起去约会 |
[09:43] | Father and son on the pull. | 父子齐心 其利断金 |
[09:45] | If that doesn’t get you running back to Jane, I don’t know what will. | 如果这还不能让你回心转意 那我就不知道什么可以了 |
[09:47] | Hmm. | 嗯哼 |
[09:51] | Penny for your thoughts? | 你在想什么呢 |
[09:52] | Oh, why can’t she just be a normal mother? | 喔 她就不能做一个正常的母亲吗 |
[09:55] | I know exactly what you mean. | 我懂你的意思 |
[09:57] | For my 18th birthday, Mummy bought me a Porsche | 我18岁生日的时候 妈妈给我买了一辆保时捷 |
[10:00] | when all I wanted was a Range Rover. | 可我只想要一辆路虎揽胜 |
[10:02] | – I never should have agreed to this. – Agreed to what? | – 我真不应该答应这件事 – 答应什么 |
[10:05] | Andy wanted me to throw mum | Andy想让我为老妈举办 |
[10:06] | a divorce hen do but make it extra boring | 一个超级无聊的离婚女性聚会 |
[10:07] | so she’d go running back to Dad, | 这样老妈就会回心转意 |
[10:09] | which is the dumbest idea ever, | 这真是有史以来最傻逼的主意 |
[10:10] | but I thought it would be a chance for us to bond. | 我居然还认为这是加深我们母女二人感情的好机会 |
[10:12] | It’s fine. I’m a therapist. | 算了 我是一名治疗师 |
[10:14] | I know that looking to other people for self-worth is a losing battle. | 我知道在他人身上寻求自我价值是不会有好结果的 |
[10:17] | Wait, did you invite me because I’m boring? | 等一下 你邀请我是因为我很无聊吗 |
[10:19] | No. | 当然不是 |
[10:22] | Look, if you want to show Andy who’s boss, | 听着 如果你想给Andy一点颜色看看 |
[10:25] | you should give her exactly what she wants. | 你就该顺着你妈的心愿来 |
[10:28] | If she wants men, make it rain men. | 如果她想要男人 那就给她一群 |
[10:31] | – Hello, boys! – Val! | – 嘿 各位 – Val |
[10:34] | Andy’s warned me who everyone is. Roly I know. | Andy之前已经给我介绍了各位 我认识Roly |
[10:38] | You must be Ben, the prick ex-brother-in-law. | 你一定是Ben 那个混蛋前姐夫 |
[10:40] | Andy’s only calling me a prick? | Andy背后只叫我混蛋吗 |
[10:42] | Someone’s losing their edge. | 看来某人有所收敛啊 |
[10:44] | And you must be sweet, gullible Bruce. | 你肯定是很傻很天真的Bruce |
[10:47] | I can’t believe you said I was gullible. | 难以置信 你居然说我傻 |
[10:49] | – He didn’t. – I see what you did there. | – 不是他说的 – 噢 知道你的意思了 |
[10:51] | And who’s this big old grizzly bear? | 这个又老又壮的灰熊是哪位 |
[10:54] | I’m Neville, Andy’s dad. | 我是Neville Andy的老爸 |
[10:55] | He failed to mention you, my dear. | 乖乖 他从来没跟我提起过你 |
[10:58] | Some things speak for themselves. | 有些人是无法形容的 见了才知道 |
[10:59] | I’m Val. Your son dated my daughter for a brief, horrific time. | 我是Val 你儿子和我女儿有过一段简短且不愉快的交往 |
[11:03] | – Hey, it wasn’t brief. – That’s not what she said. | – 说啥呢 谁短了 – 她可不这么说的 |
[11:06] | – Errol! – Nice one. | – Errol – 说的好 |
[11:07] | – Dad, Val here is divorced. – Oh. | – 老爸 Val已经离婚了 – 噢 |
[11:10] | There’s nobody better to tell you about the long painful road… | 再也没有比他更合适的人选来告诉你重返幸福生活的 |
[11:16] | back to happiness. | 刻骨铭心的漫长之路 |
[11:17] | “Don’t listen to your children” Is rule number one. | 第一条准则 “不要听你孩子的话” |
[11:21] | – Nice ball bag. – Takes one to know one. | – 不错的球包(傻缺) – 彼此彼此 |
[11:27] | You wanted men… Voila. | 你不是想要男人吗 尽情看吧 |
[11:30] | Is it OK us being here? | 我们来这真的好吗 |
[11:31] | My best friend Craig says it’s quite annoying when hen dos rock up at gay clubs. | 我的好朋友Craig说一群女人来基佬俱乐部是很讨人厌的 |
[11:35] | Yeah, it’s like I said I was hungry and you brought me waxed fruit. | 对啊 就像我说自己饿了 你却给我上过蜡的水果 |
[11:38] | – Oh, my God, Sam. – Gwen, hi. – Hi. | – 噢 我天 Sam – Gwen 嗨 |
[11:41] | This is Veronica, Tiffany and my mum, Jane. | 这是Veronica Tiffany 我老妈Jane |
[11:45] | Holy shit. You’re Andy’s mum. | 我勒个去 你是Andy的老妈 |
[11:47] | I always thought he was an orphan. | 我一直以为他是个孤儿 |
[11:48] | – Why would you think that? – He never spoke about his parents. | – 为什么这么认为 – 他从来没跟我提过他的父母 |
[11:51] | Anyway, welcome to Sober Saturday. | 总之 欢迎来到”清醒星期六” |
[11:54] | – Sober Saturday? – A once-a-year event. | – “清醒星期六” – 一年一度的盛会 |
[11:56] | All money goes to AA, | 全部收入捐给匿名戒酒会 |
[11:57] | and Casper makes a mean Virgin Mary. | 而且Casper调的纯真玛丽鸡尾酒超棒 |
[11:59] | Yum! | 太好啦 |
[12:00] | So, you said Andy never mentioned our parents? | Andy从来没有提及过我们的父母吗 |
[12:02] | Actually, I’m getting a headache. Maybe we should go? | 我现在有点头疼 我觉得我们还是走吧 |
[12:05] | – Oh, no, no, no, stay, please. – Yeah, let’s stay. | – 噢 不 不 一定要留下来 – 对 我们留下来吧 |
[12:07] | Gwen can tell us all her best Andy stories. | Gwen可以给我们讲讲Andy的精彩故事 |
[12:09] | That shouldn’t take long. | 估计讲不了很长时间 |
[12:11] | Who is ready to see what a real strike looks like? | 谁想要见识一下真正的全中是什么样子 |
[12:16] | Well, you’ve already shown us a knockout. | 你已经展示了什么叫风情万种 |
[12:20] | Dad… | 老爸 |
[12:22] | ..You realise Val’s a man? | 你知道Val是个男的吧 |
[12:24] | Expand your mind, son. | 扩展一下你的思维嘛 儿子 |
[12:27] | Val is a sexual being. | Val就是一个性感尤物 |
[12:29] | I don’t care which side of the pommel horse they land on | 我才不管身体的哪一边被满足 |
[12:32] | as long as somebody’s getting pommelled. | 只要某人得到满足就行 |
[12:36] | It’s my round. Come and help, Roly. | 该我请大家了 过来帮我一下 Roly |
[12:39] | A trip to the bar. | 一次吧台之旅 |
[12:40] | It’s no trip around Europe, but it’s a start. | 虽然不是欧洲之旅 但也是一个好的开始 |
[12:44] | You’re on a streak tonight, Roly. | 今天晚上表现神勇啊 Roly |
[12:48] | – What are you playing at? – Er, it’s called bowling. | – 你到底在搞什么啊 – 呃 这个叫保龄球 |
[12:51] | I’m talking about Roly’s trip. | 我是说Roly的旅行 |
[12:52] | – Keep…out. – Why? | – 别插手 – 为什么 |
[12:55] | Never hurts to broaden your horizons. | 开阔一下你的眼界又没有坏处 |
[12:57] | You know, I was going to give him 500 for a new laptop, | 我本来打算给他500买一台新的笔记本电脑 |
[12:59] | but if he wants to spend it on a trip, I’m cool with that. | 但是如果他打算花在旅行上 我没有任何意见 |
[13:02] | I’m warning you, do not give him that money. | 我警告你 别给他钱 |
[13:05] | It’s my money. I can do what I like. | 我的钱 我爱给谁给谁 |
[13:06] | Bruce, I was starting to like you. | Bruce 我刚开始对你有好感了 |
[13:10] | Shut the fuck up, Ben. | 闭上你的臭嘴 Ben |
[13:11] | What? | 什么 |
[13:12] | Big Lebowski. | <谋杀绿脚趾>啊 |
[13:14] | You know. “Shut the fuck up, Donny.” | 里面的台词 “闭上你的臭嘴 Donny” |
[13:17] | I’m going to see if they need a hand at the bar. | 我去看看酒吧那里需不需帮助 |
[13:19] | Oh, oh, oh, strike! | 噢 噢 噢 好球 |
[13:22] | And that…is how it’s done. | 简直 教科书一般的球技 |
[13:28] | Stop flirting with my dad. | 别再和我爸调情了 |
[13:30] | I brought you here so you could show him how shit divorce is, | 我带你来这是想让你告诉我爸离婚有多糟 |
[13:32] | not slink around like Jessica Rabbit. | 而不是向兔子杰西卡一样挑逗地走来走去 |
[13:34] | Trust me, if I was flirting you’d know about it. | 相信我 我调情的时候比这骚多了 |
[13:36] | Oh, and FYI, I’m more of a Cruella de Vil kind of girl. | 哦 还有 我的气质更偏库伊拉那一类的女孩 |
[13:41] | Just leave him alone. I’m trying to save my parents’ marriage. | 别烦他就行 我正试着拯救我父母的婚姻呢 |
[13:43] | Oh, I get it. | 噢 这样啊 |
[13:45] | It’s the guy in heels who’s always the home-wrecker. | 穿高跟鞋的男人总是会当小三啊 |
[13:47] | – Look, that’s not what… – If you want to see flirting, | – 听着 我不是说 – 如果你想看看我调情是什么样子 |
[13:50] | I’ll show you flirting. | 我就让你好好看看 |
[13:51] | Who wants a Slippery Nipple? | 谁想来一杯滑乳头鸡尾酒 |
[13:55] | I’ve got two right here. | 我这有俩 |
[13:56] | Anyway, | 反正 |
[13:57] | Andy starts texting, begging me for a date. | Andy就开始给我发短信 求我和他约会 |
[14:00] | I say no, until eventually he sends me pictures of… | 我不同意 直到他给我发了一张 |
[14:03] | his pejazzled dong spelling, “You likey?” | 他的闪亮大屌的照片 写着 “喜欢吗” |
[14:07] | I wasn’t impressed. But I was horny. | 我也没有被折服 但是我兴致上来了 |
[14:10] | And the rest, as they say, is internet history. | 接下来的部分 如他们所说 网上可以找到 |
[14:13] | – What’s “Pejazzled”? – It’s where you diamante your d… | – “闪亮”是怎么回事 – 就是把人造钻石镶到那 |
[14:16] | Did you hear that, Mum? | 听到了吗 妈妈 |
[14:16] | Sounds like your precious Andy is a little bit of a sex pest. | 您的宝贝Andy简直是性爱毒虫啊 |
[14:19] | Andy’s just artistic. Lord knows he didn’t get it from me. | Andy只不过是有艺术气息 反正不是遗传我的 |
[14:22] | Creativity skips the women in this family. | 咱们家里的女人都没有创造性 |
[14:24] | Wow, Ben just took me to a Yo! Sushi for our first date. | 哇 我和Ben的第一次约会他带我去了寿司餐馆 |
[14:28] | Really? He took Sam to a concert in Paris on theirs. | 真的吗 他和Sam的第一次约会是去巴黎看演唱会 |
[14:31] | Oh, yeah, but it was Muse, so it doesn’t count. | 嗯 不过是缪斯的演唱会 不算的 |
[14:33] | Wonder what the boys are up to. | 不知道男孩们现在在做什么 |
[14:34] | I bet Andy’s teaching them some hilarious drinking games. | Andy一定在教他们玩些有意思的喝酒游戏 |
[14:37] | Mum, you do know that Andy is sober now? | 妈妈 你知道Andy现在戒酒了吧 |
[14:39] | Aww. That’s so brave of him. | 噢 他真是勇敢 |
[14:41] | You never said it was brave when I went clean. | 我戒瘾的时候你都没说过我勇敢 |
[14:43] | Cos you take after my side and the Abbotts never stay clean long. | 因为你是遗传我的 戒瘾这种事不会成功的 |
[14:46] | I mean, look at your Uncle Frank, God rest his rotten soul. | 看看你舅舅Frank就知道了 希望他腐烂的灵魂可以安息 |
[14:49] | There’s no shame, but you mark my words, you’re not done. | 这没什么不好意思的 但听好了 你不会成功的 |
[14:52] | Caught her snorting sherbet when she was five. | 她五岁的时候我就抓到她吸食果子露了 |
[14:55] | Ooh, off to powder her nose! | 噢 又要去偷偷吸点粉了 |
[15:00] | I need to get Val out of here. | 我得把Val弄出去 |
[15:02] | He’s putting such a smile on Grandad’s face. | 可是他让外公很高兴啊 |
[15:04] | It’s not his face I’m worried about. | 我担心的可不是他的笑脸 |
[15:05] | Also, stop messing your dad and Bruce about. | 还有 别再折磨你爸和Bruce了 |
[15:07] | You’re jealous that I know how to play the divorce game. | 你就是嫉妒我会玩离婚游戏 |
[15:10] | Behold the puppet master. I am Geppetto. | 请看木偶大师出手 我是杰佩托 |
[15:12] | Trust me, you’re Pinocchio all day. | 得了吧 你完全就是个匹诺曹 |
[15:15] | Now, help me get rid of Val | 赶紧帮我把Val整出去 |
[15:16] | or I’m telling your dad and Bruce. | 要不我就向你爸和Bruce告状 |
[15:18] | Like they’d ever believe you. | 他们不会信你的 |
[15:20] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. I have a cunning plan. | 等等 等等 我有个好计划 |
[15:23] | Sam, are you all right? | Sam 你还好吗 |
[15:25] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s just all the cologne making my eyes water. | 嗯 还好还好 就是那些古龙水太辣眼睛了 |
[15:29] | Bloody Jean Paul Gaultier. | 都怪Jean Paul Gaultier |
[15:32] | Come here. | 来吧 |
[15:33] | Everybody out! | 所有人都出去 |
[15:36] | – Seriously, what’s up? – Oh, it’s just…my mother is a monster! | – 说吧 怎么了 – 只是 我妈简直是个怪物 |
[15:40] | – What’s going on? – Sam wants to kill her mum. | – 怎么回事 – Sam想杀了她妈妈 |
[15:42] | She thinks that Andy’s the best thing since boxed wine. | 她觉得Andy是仅次于盒装葡萄酒的最好的事 |
[15:45] | I know the feeling. The only reason Dad put me in charge tonight | 我知道这种感觉 我爸今晚把酒吧给我管 |
[15:48] | is cos it’s Sober Saturday and he knew it would be dead. | 因为今天是”清醒星期六” 他知道没多少人会来 |
[15:50] | Mummy made me ride a pony until I was 16, | 我16岁之前妈妈一直让我骑小马 |
[15:52] | even though I was clearly ready for a full-size horse at 12. | 尽管我12岁的时候就可以骑成年马了 |
[15:59] | What do you want? | 你想要什么 |
[16:00] | Who says I want anything? | 我一定要有什么要求吗 |
[16:01] | Can’t a guy just call his favourite gal pal? | 我就不能打给我最爱的女性朋友吗 |
[16:03] | – I’m hanging up now. – ‘No, wait.’ | – 我挂了啊 – 别 等一下 |
[16:06] | I need a favour. | 我有个事要求你 |
[16:07] | Can you call Val | 你能不能打给Val |
[16:08] | and say there’s a problem down the club | 告诉他俱乐部出事了 |
[16:10] | and he needs to come back immediately? | 让他赶紧回去 |
[16:11] | On the first night my dad’s ever left me fully in charge | 我爸第一次让我一个人管理俱乐部 |
[16:14] | you want me to tell him I can’t take the heat | 你就想让我告诉他 我干不好 |
[16:16] | just so I can help YOU get out of a stupid situation you got yourself into? | 只是为了可以把你从困境里解救出来吗 |
[16:19] | – I knew you’d understand. – I’ll do it, | – 我就知道你懂我 – 可以是可以 |
[16:21] | if you tell your mum she needs to treat Sam better | 不过你要让你妈对Sam好一点 |
[16:24] | and that you’re a shit son. | 还要告诉她 你是个坏儿子 |
[16:25] | Fine. | 成交 |
[16:26] | Wait, how do you know I’ve got a mum? | 等会 你怎么知道我有个妈妈 |
[16:28] | Wanker! | 傻逼 |
[16:33] | You’re just in time to see me pound the pins. | 你来得正好 看我”猛击”这些球瓶 |
[16:37] | I’ll give you a hand with your stroke. | 我来给你”搭把手” |
[16:41] | Come here. | 过来 |
[16:42] | Sorry, mate. Hope my sneeze didn’t throw you off. | 抱歉了 兄弟 希望我的喷嚏没有影响到你 |
[16:46] | No worries. | 没关系 |
[16:48] | Hey, Roly, I’m going to pay for your trip. The whole shebang. | 嘿 Roly 你旅行的钱我出了 所有费用都包了 |
[16:53] | – Really? – No. No. | – 真的吗 – 不 不行 |
[16:55] | I’ll… I’ll pay for it. | 我 我来出 |
[16:56] | I have an idea. Roly, | 我有个主意 Roly |
[16:58] | why don’t you pick who YOU want to pay for it? | 你来选你想让谁来给旅行付钱吧 |
[17:00] | Oh. Hello. | 喂 |
[17:01] | – Well, this shouldn’t be a contest – Roly? | – 这根本不用比啊 – Roly |
[17:04] | Oh, it’s my go. | 哦 到我了 |
[17:06] | Yeah, yeah, I’ll be right there. | 嗯 好 我马上就去 |
[17:07] | Got to go, guys. Security issue at Cox. | 我得走了 各位 基吧有点安全问题 |
[17:09] | That’s a shame | 真可惜 |
[17:11] | We could come with you. | 我们可以和你一起去 |
[17:12] | I’m sure Val probably needs to deal with this alone. | 我确定Val一个人就能搞定 |
[17:15] | I’m with Grandad. It wouldn’t be a proper divorce stag do | 我同意外公说的 如果我们分开了 |
[17:17] | if we all split up, would it? | 还算哪门子的离婚单身派对 |
[17:20] | Just let her know how you feel. | 告诉她你的感受 |
[17:21] | Yeah, we’ve got your back, Sam. | 对 我们挺你 Sam |
[17:23] | All right, here goes nothing. | 好吧 死马当活马医了 |
[17:27] | Oh, hell, no! | 噢 不是吧卧槽 |
[17:28] | Oh, hey, babe. | 噢 嘿 宝贝 |
[17:29] | Look, I’ve found the only straight one. | 看 我找到了这里的唯一一个异性恋 |
[17:31] | I’m giving him a little reiki. | 我在给他传灵气 |
[17:33] | You get your hands off my boyfriend! | 把你的手从我男友身上拿开 |
[17:35] | Calm down, babe. I’m just being friendly for tips. | 冷静 宝贝 我只是为了小费而表现得友好而已 |
[17:37] | I bet your tip’s plenty friendly. | 我猜你的技巧一定很”友好” |
[17:39] | Babe, she’s Andy’s mum! | 宝贝 那是Andy的妈 |
[17:41] | Urgh, what?! Urgh! | 呕 什么 恶心 |
[17:43] | I thought Andy was an orphan. | 我以为Andy是孤儿 |
[17:44] | Why do people keep saying that? | 你们怎么都这么说 |
[17:46] | – Mum, there’s something I need to say. – What’s going on? | – 妈 我有件事要跟你说 – 出什么事了 Gwen |
[17:49] | Oh, yeah, ooh…Andy made me lie to get you here. | 哦 那个 是Andy让我把你骗过来的 |
[17:52] | Now I’ve done my part of the deal, | 我的这部分我已经完成了 |
[17:54] | I think he has something to say to you, Jane. | 我想他有话对你说 Jane |
[17:56] | Er… The… | 呃 我 |
[17:57] | The thing that I wanted to say… | 我先告诉你 |
[17:59] | is that…um…Errol has been playing Bruce and Ben off like mugs | 那个 呃 Errol一直在把Bruce和Ben当傻瓜玩 |
[18:04] | to get them to pay for his Euro trip. | 好让他俩给他的欧洲之旅付钱 |
[18:05] | N-No… | 没 没有 |
[18:06] | – No. Does…does that sound like me? – Pretty much, yeah. | – 才不是 这 这听起来像我做的事吗 – 很像 |
[18:09] | Well, Mum and Andy are doing | 妈妈和Andy还打算上演 |
[18:10] | the world’s shittest Parent Trap. | 世界上最烂的<天生一对>戏码呢 |
[18:12] | – Liar! – Bruce, I told you not to get involved. | – 骗子 – Bruce 我告诉过你别趟这浑水 |
[18:15] | He’s not your kid. | 他不是你的孩子 |
[18:16] | Ben, we’re all co-parenting here. | Ben 我们都是共同抚养他的 |
[18:19] | And why didn’t you take ME to Paris on our first date? | 而且我俩第一次约会 你怎么没带我去巴黎 |
[18:21] | Have you got cold feet? | 你是不是想临阵脱逃了 |
[18:23] | What? | 什么 |
[18:25] | Can we…talk about this later? | 我们 等会再谈好吗 |
[18:26] | I can’t believe you’re Andy’s mum. | 我不敢相信你就是Andy的妈 |
[18:28] | I always thought he was a… | 我还以为他是个 |
[18:29] | If you say “Orphan” I swear I’ll shank you, lady. | 你要是说”孤儿” 我就踢死你 女士 |
[18:31] | – Don’t you talk to Val like that, or… – Or what? | – 别这样和Val说话 要不然 – 要不然呢 |
[18:34] | You haven’t got the guts to follow through. | 你才没有坚持到底的勇气呢 |
[18:35] | You know who’s got a lovely follow-through? Roger Federer. | 你们知道谁的随球动作最漂亮吗 费德勒 |
[18:39] | How’s this for follow-through? | 这个坚持到底怎么样啊 |
[18:41] | Oh, yeah? | 哦 来真的吗 |
[18:44] | Argh! Can everyone just stop before my eyes start bleeding?! | 啊 所有人都停下来 我的狗眼要瞎了 |
[18:48] | After all I did for you… | 我为你做了那么多 |
[18:51] | Gave you 39 years, got you off the street, | 给了你39年的时光 让你不再满街晃 |
[18:53] | gave up my singing career for you, and now you’re leaving me? | 甚至为你放弃歌唱事业 最终你还是要离开我 |
[18:56] | Career?! | 什么事业 |
[18:57] | You’ve played to picket lines | 你在罢工纠察线和工人俱乐部唱歌 |
[18:59] | and working men’s clubs for pork scratchings. | 就为了那些脆猪皮片 |
[19:01] | You were never a real folk singer, | 你根本不是真正的民谣歌手 |
[19:03] | you…disco lover! | 你 就是个迪斯科爱好者 |
[19:05] | I gave up my childhood to be your wife. | 我放弃了自己的童年去嫁给你 |
[19:08] | So it was my fault I was the only guy on the estate | 所以我作为那片儿唯一一个 |
[19:10] | stand-up enough to marry the pregnant teenager? | 敢于娶怀孕的青少年的人 也错了吗 |
[19:13] | Didn’t even know if it was mine. Still don’t! | 我都不知道那孩子是不是我的 到现在也不知道 |
[19:17] | And by “It”, do you mean me? | 那孩子 指的是我吗 |
[19:19] | Let’s face it, you hardly look like your brother, | 把话说开了吧 你和你弟弟长的一点都不像 |
[19:21] | and you don’t look a thing like me. | 你浑身上下也没一个地方像我 |
[19:23] | Sam, it’s not true. We’ve got the same eyes and… | Sam 这不是真的 我们有相似的眼睛和 |
[19:27] | ..Roots. | 发根 |
[19:28] | So that’s why you treat me like shit? | 所以你才这样对待我吗 |
[19:30] | Because I’m the mistake? Me? | 因为我是你的错误 我 |
[19:34] | Do you think it was easy growing up with parents like you? | 你觉得有你们这种父母 我的成长容易吗 |
[19:36] | Always screaming and drinking | 你们总是大吵大闹 喝酒成瘾 |
[19:39] | and dumping us on mental relatives and leaving us alone for days? | 把我们丢给精神不正常的亲属 几天不管我们 |
[19:43] | Can you blame me? | 这能怪我吗 |
[19:44] | You were like raising that girl from The Exorcist. | 你就跟<驱魔人>里面的那个小女孩似的 |
[19:46] | You make Cersei Lannister look like Mary Berry! | 和你相比 瑟曦·兰尼斯特都算贤妻良母 |
[19:50] | It’s a miracle that I’ve done anything with my life. | 我能有一点成就简直就是奇迹了 |
[19:53] | OK, I had a little addiction problem back there, | 的确 之前我有过一点成瘾问题 |
[19:55] | but look at my role models. | 谁让你们俩就是我的楷模呢 |
[19:57] | But still, I had a son, | 但是尽管如此 我有了儿子 |
[19:59] | I got my master’s, | 拿到了硕士学位 |
[20:01] | I am fighting cancer, | 我还在和癌症斗争 |
[20:02] | and I nearly died on an operating table, but you still favour Andy! | 我之前差点死在手术台上 但你始终偏爱Andy |
[20:08] | The single… 30-something musician who lives in my fucking basement! | 一个三十几岁还住在姐姐地下室的单身音乐人 |
[20:15] | Garden flat. | 是花园公寓啦 |
[20:15] | You’ve always treated me like the fuck-up, | 你总当我是一团糟 |
[20:18] | but it’s him, Mum, it’s always been him. He’s just like you. | 明明他才是一团糟 他跟你一模一样 |
[20:21] | Oh… Shit! | 噢 厉害了 |
[20:25] | Sam Sam… | |
[20:26] | I think we should go home. | 我们该回家了 |
[20:28] | You stay out of this, Brian. | 你别插手 Brian |
[20:29] | It’s Bruce, Mum! It’s fucking Bruce! | 他叫Bruce 妈 是他妈的Bruce |
[20:33] | And I’m Maggie Gyllenhaal! | 我是玛吉·吉伦哈尔 |
[20:35] | And you don’t deserve Maggie. | 你不配拥有玛吉 |
[20:38] | So you get Jake. | 所以你只有杰克 |
[20:41] | Right… How about a round of shots on the house? | 好吧 要不我请大家喝点酒吧 |
[20:45] | But it’s Sober Saturday. | 但今天不是”清醒星期六”吗 |
[20:46] | We’ve had a report of an incident. | 我们收到举报说这儿有人闹事 |
[20:48] | Finally! Something that can get my mind off this palaver. | 总算有人来拯救我于水火了 |
[20:53] | Let’s see what you’re working with, hot stuff. | 让我好好瞧瞧你 帅小伙子 |
[21:08] | Can you give us a minute? | 能不能让我们单独待会儿 |
[21:20] | Mum, there’s some things…some | 妈 刚才我说的那些话 |
[21:21] | things that I said, I didn’t mean… | 不是故意想要伤害你 |
[21:23] | Don’t worry. | 没关系的 |
[21:24] | Already forgotten. | 我已经忘记了 |
[21:26] | – Mum. – I mean it. I’m fine. | – 妈 – 我真的没关系 |
[21:30] | You’ve got a mouth on you. | 你讲话确实难听 |
[21:32] | You get it from me. | 这点像我 |
[21:35] | There’s that look. | 又是那个表情 |
[21:36] | – What look? – You know. | – 什么表情 – 你知道的 |
[21:39] | The look that sees right through me. | 那种一眼看穿我的表情 |
[21:42] | You’re right. I’m a shit mum. | 你说的没错 我是个糟糕的妈 |
[21:47] | I was a child when I had you and I…I never caught up. | 怀你的时候我还是个孩子 我也一直没有长大 |
[21:50] | And you had much higher parenting expectations than Andy. | 你对于父母的期待值远高于Andy |
[21:53] | I only shower him with attention cos he always acts so helpless. | 我时刻关注他 是因为他总是表现得很无助 |
[21:57] | He’s like a rescue dog. | 就像一只搜救犬 |
[22:00] | Happy to be fed and have his balls within reach. | 吃吃喝喝 玩玩自己的蛋就很开心了 |
[22:03] | I’d like to say I can change, but I don’t think I can. | 我也想说我会改变 但我做不到 |
[22:07] | I don’t have your strength. | 我没有你那么坚强 |
[22:09] | I’m not expecting you to change. | 我没指望你改变 |
[22:11] | I just… I just want to know that you care. | 我只 我只希望你在乎我 |
[22:14] | You think I don’t care about your cancer? | 你觉得我不在乎你得癌症吗 |
[22:17] | Your dad will tell you, it’s destroying me. | 尽管问你爸 我都快崩溃了 |
[22:21] | I’m the one who should be sick. | 我才是该得病的那一个 |
[22:23] | Jesus, I smoke while I’m on the sunbed! | 老天 我在日光浴浴床上还抽着烟 |
[22:26] | I’m proud of you. | 你是我的骄傲 |
[22:28] | I love you to death. | 我会爱你直到最后一刻 |
[22:33] | Maybe not the best choice of words for a cancer patient. | 对癌症病人说这话不太好吧 |
[22:37] | But thanks. | 不过还是谢谢你 |
[22:41] | So…who is my father? | 所以 我生父是谁 |
[22:45] | It’s Neville. | Nevile吧 |
[22:47] | Probably. | 应该是 |
[22:49] | Well, I hope it is. | 我希望是他 |
[22:52] | Cos the other options ain’t good. | 因为其他人都很糟糕 |
[22:55] | Dad, Bruce, I’m… sorry for the way I behaved. | 爸爸 Bruce 我为之前的举止道歉 |
[22:59] | After the divorce, | 爸妈离婚后 |
[23:00] | I realised everyone just wanted to keep me happy, | 我意识到人人都希望我能开心 |
[23:02] | so I took advantage of that. | 所以我利用了这一点 |
[23:05] | And now I’m ready for my punishment. | 我准备好接受惩罚了 |
[23:08] | What do you think, Bruce? | 你觉得呢 Bruce |
[23:10] | Oh, you could clean Andy’s flat. | 噢 你可以打扫Andy的公寓 |
[23:12] | Ha-ha, funny one, Veronica! | 哈哈 别逗了 Veronica |
[23:14] | Actually, that’s a great idea. | 没有啊 我觉得是个好主意 |
[23:16] | No. Please. Anything but that. | 求你们了 别的都可以 就这一样不行 |
[23:19] | Dad, does that sound fair to you? | 老爸 你觉得这公平嘛 |
[23:22] | I’m doing it again, aren’t I? | 我又故技重施了 是吧 |
[23:27] | Sorry I kissed you, Val. | 抱歉刚才亲了你 Val |
[23:29] | It’s OK. It was worth it just for the look on Andy’s face. | 没事 看到Andy那个表情也值了 |
[23:32] | But if you ever try that again without my consent, | 不过要是你再不经我允许亲上来 |
[23:34] | I will cut your prostate out with a rusty tin lid. | 我就拿生锈的铁皮盖切了你的前列腺 |
[23:38] | You get sexier by the minute. | 这会儿你更性感了 |
[23:44] | How am I ever supposed to make a relationship work | 我怎么可能维持好任何一段感情 |
[23:47] | if I can’t even keep my own family together? | 如果连我自己的家庭都保不住 |
[23:49] | Oh, shut up. | 闭嘴吧你 |
[23:51] | – Why are you smiling? – Every time you tell me to shut up | – 你笑什么 – 每回你叫我闭嘴 |
[23:54] | it means you’re just about to lay down some serious wisdom on me | 都意味着你要传授人生智慧 |
[23:57] | and fix everything. | 拯救一切 |
[23:58] | I’m not your fairy godmother, Andy. | 我不是你的救星 Andy |
[24:00] | You’re a big boy. | 你是大人了 |
[24:03] | Fix your own life. | 做你自己的救星吧 |
[24:11] | Fix my own life? | 做我自己的救星吗 |
[24:13] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[24:16] | Nice one, Val. | 说得好 Val |
[24:24] | Andy, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean those… | Andy 对不起 之前那些戳心的话 |
[24:27] | horrible things I said. | 我不是故意的 |
[24:29] | Of course you did. I don’t blame you. | 确实戳心 但我也不怪你 |
[24:32] | I was just angry with Mum and it spilled over. | 我只是生老妈的气 发了一通牢骚 |
[24:35] | Maggie Gyllenhaal is consistent, but who am I kidding? | 玛吉·吉伦哈尔有那么好么 我唬谁呢 |
[24:38] | She’s never done anything as good as Nightcrawler. | 她从来没演过像<夜行者>这么好的作品 |
[24:41] | On the other hand… | 不过呢 |
[24:43] | Maggie doesn’t need to apologise for Prince Of Persia. | 玛吉不必为<波斯王子>道歉啦 |
[24:46] | Or Bubble Boy. | 或者<泡沫男孩> |
[24:50] | Still, I think I am going to ask Dad to take a paternity test with me, | 不管怎么说 我还是想让爸跟我做个亲子鉴定 |
[24:54] | you know, just so we know… | 你懂的 以防万一 |
[24:55] | Shut up! All right? You’re not doing it. | 别废话好吗 不要去做那个 |
[24:57] | It doesn’t matter what the test says. | 鉴定的结果根本不重要 |
[24:58] | You’re my sister, he’s your father. | 你是我姐 他是你老爸 |
[25:00] | You don’t need a test to prove… | 不需要亲子鉴定来证明这一切 |
[25:04] | I love you, Jake. | 我爱你 杰克 |
[25:06] | Right back at you, Maggie. | 我也爱你 玛吉 |
[25:10] | Isn’t it weird, | 这不会很尴尬吗 |
[25:11] | you and dad travelling back together after everything? | 发生了这些事以后你和老爸还要一起回去 |
[25:13] | No. It’ll be months before we can move out. | 是啊 要过好几个月我们才能分开 |
[25:15] | 39 years’ worth of CDs and sex toys won’t separate themselves. | 这么多年攒下的唱片和性爱玩具得慢慢分一分 |
[25:20] | Who knows? A lot can happen in that time. | 谁知道到时候会发生什么呢 |
[25:23] | One thing’s for sure | 唯一可以确定的是 |
[25:25] | this family can take a bigger pounding than a rhino vag. | 我们这个家庭比”牛逼”更扛”草” |
[25:28] | Here you go. Don’t tell your sister. | 拿着 别告诉你姐姐 |
[25:30] | Mum, I’m not a boy any more. | 妈 我不是小孩子了 |
[25:32] | You know, when I watch milf porn, it’s not a fetish, | 我看熟女毛片 不是因为我爱看 |
[25:34] | it’s just age-appropriate. | 只是做这个年纪该做的事 |
[25:35] | And as much as I love all the special attention, I am a bad son. | 只要我还贪恋额外的关心 我就是个糟糕的儿子 |
[25:41] | I never call, I never send birthday cards. | 我从不给你打电话 也不给你过生日 |
[25:44] | Sam’s the good one. | Sam才是那个好孩子 |
[25:46] | Whoa! | 哇噢 |
[25:47] | I’ll forgive you just this once. | 这回就算了 |
[25:50] | But…I think that you should stop taking it easy on me. | 但我觉得你不应该再对我这么上心了 |
[25:54] | The reason I give up on relationships is because you and Dad… | 我放弃的那些感情都是因为你和老爸 |
[25:57] | you never made me work for anything. | 你们从不放手让我争取任何事 |
[25:59] | I want you to tell it like it is. | 我希望你们跟我说实话 |
[26:01] | Ok. | 好吧 |
[26:03] | You’re talented, but your music’s soft. | 你有天赋 但你的音乐太弱了 |
[26:05] | You need to start dyeing your hair, cos you’re going grey. | 你得开始染发了 因为你头发快要变白了 |
[26:07] | And stop blaming other people for your problems… | 还有不要把自己的问题怪罪到别人身上 |
[26:10] | Mum, got it! Save some for later! | 妈 行了 留点以后再说吧 |
[26:22] | You know, when I found out your mum was pregnant, | 当我知道你妈怀孕的时候 |
[26:24] | I didn’t want to run away like my father did. | 我不想像我爸一样逃避 |
[26:26] | And I could see she didn’t have any decent men in her life, so… | 而且我知道她的生命里没有什么好男人 |
[26:31] | ..I stayed. | 所以我留下了 |
[26:32] | But then you were born. | 后来你出世了 |
[26:34] | And I saw you there, all pink and smiling. | 我看着你 粉粉的 笑嘻嘻的 |
[26:37] | That wisp of hair like duckling fluff on the top of your head. | 头顶上的那缕头发像小鸭子的茸毛一样 |
[26:42] | And I fell in love. | 我陷入爱了 |
[26:44] | With both of you. | 我爱你们俩 |
[26:46] | You know, you’ll always be my special girl. | 你在我心里一直是最特别的小女孩 |
[26:52] | I love you, Dad. | 我爱你 爸 |
[26:53] | I love you, too, sweetie. | 我也爱你 甜心 |
[26:57] | I’m a bit old for pocket money. | 我这个年纪不适合拿零花钱了吧 |
[26:58] | Your mum wanted me to give you this to get your roots done. | 你妈让我给你的 让你好好打理发根 |
[27:02] | – Oh! – Take it, | – 不是吧 – 拿着 |
[27:04] | or I’ll never hear the end of it. | 不然她会没完没了的 |
[27:08] | Bye, handsome. | 再见 我的小帅哥 |
[27:09] | And if you ever need money, you call your Grandma Jane. | 需要钱的话给外婆打电话 |
[27:12] | Thank you. But I’m going to start to trying to earn things on my own from now. | 谢谢 但从现在开始 我想试着自食其力了 |
[27:15] | And if that doesn’t work out, | 如果行不通的话 |
[27:16] | I’ll just start a crowdfunding page. | 我就去众筹 |
[27:18] | You take care of my baby, Bruce. | 照顾好我的孩子 Bruce |
[27:19] | I promise I will…Jenny. | 向你保证 Jenny |
[27:21] | It’s Jane! | 我叫Jane好吗 |
[27:22] | I know. | 我知道 |
[27:30] | I’m a quick learner, | 我学东西很快 |
[27:32] | I’m an excellent problem-solver | 善于解决问题 |
[27:34] | and quite the people person. | 也擅长交际 |
[27:36] | But most importantly, I’m a very good liar. | 最重要的是 我非常会说谎 |
[27:43] | You’re hired. | 你被录用了 |
[27:43] | Welcome to Carpet Brothers. | 欢迎加入”地毯兄弟” |
[27:45] | ‘Ladies…’ | 各位女士 |
[27:47] | I’ve had a lot of fun with all of you. | 我们之前过得很开心 |
[27:48] | But I need to pick just one of you. | 但我只能在你们中间选择一位 |
[27:51] | And there’s only one way to make such an important decision. | 也只有一种方法来做出抉择了 |
[27:57] | Eeny, meeny, miny, moe | 点兵点将 |
[27:59] | Catch a tiger by the toe | 点到哪个 |
[28:01] | If it hollers, let it go | 就是我的 |
[28:03] | Eeny, meeny, miny… | 点兵点 |
[28:08] | ..Moe. | 将 |