| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:19] | Okay, Thornhill knows how to throw a ball. | 好了，Thornhill是会扔球。 |
| [00:21] | Pierce may be a sitting fuck, but… | Pierce是个傻坐着的蠢货，但…… |
| [00:23] | the main targets here are Maddox and Chung. | Maddox和Chung是主要目标。 |
| [00:25] | Well, hit Chung with inexperience | 嗯，抓住Chung没经验的弱点， |
| [00:27] | and Maddox with resignation– | 还有Maddox的辞职。 |
| [00:28] | actual and general air of. | 他辞职的事还有他整体的废物气质。 |
| [00:30] | Yeah, I want their heads on my wall. | 嗯，我要把他们的头钉到墙上。 |
| [00:32] | – Actual heads. – God, I love this kind of talk. | – 真的脑袋。 – 天，我爱这种对话。 |
| [00:35] | Gets me aroused. Sorry, I meant roused. | 让我性奋。不好意思，是兴奋。 |
| [00:39] | No, did I– I meant aroused. Aroused. | 不，是说――我是说性奋。性奋。 |
| [00:42] | – Hi, Catherine. – Hi. | |
| [00:43] | – Americano, dash of cow. – Thanks. | – 美式，一点点牛（奶）。 – 谢谢。 |
| [00:45] | Whoa, who the fuck is smiley-faced coffee boy? | 喂，那个笑呵呵的傻逼送咖啡的是谁？ |
| [00:48] | That’s Jackson. I hired him to sharpen up Selina’s answers. | 他是Jackson。我聘他来润色Selina的回答。 |
| [00:50] | – He’s a writer. – Yeah, you know, speeches, one-liners. | – 他是个作家。 – 嗯，你懂的，演讲，俏皮话什么的。 |
| [00:53] | Just me and my iPad, | iPad是我的好搭档， |
| [00:55] | which I like to call the “Zinger Sewing Machine.” | 我叫它“犀利牌缝纫机”（Singer是缝纫机牌子）。 |
| [00:57] | Oh. So you threw away Dan and you kept the voodoo doll, huh? | 哦。你把Dan扔了，换了这个巫毒娃娃？ |
| [01:00] | No, it’s terrible that the First Lady tried to kill herself, | 不，第一夫人试图自杀令人痛心， |
| [01:03] | but our carrying on is what she would have wanted– | 但她会希望我们坚持下去的――（虚拟语气表示人死） |
| [01:05] | – does want. – Okay, let’s rehearse the debate. | – 去掉“会”。- 好了，排练辩论吧。 |
| [01:08] | Congressman Furlong, can you be Joe Thornhill? | Furlong议员，你能扮演Joe Thornhill吗？ |
| [01:10] | Let’s see. “I don’t know anything about NAFTA, | 试试看。“北美自由贸易区是什么我不懂， |
| [01:11] | but I do know about baseball. | 但我懂棒球。 |
| [01:13] | Baseball, baseball, baseball. | 棒球棒球棒球。 |
| [01:15] | Look at my muscly chest. Vote for me.” | 看看我的胸肌。给我投票吧。” |
| [01:17] | – Ben, you are Owen Pierce. – “Well, I’m a baby-faced, | – Ben，你是Owen Pierce。 – “嗯，我是个白痴 |
| [01:20] | know-nothing congressman from ‘Shit Stain, ‘ Nevada, | 娃娃脸议员，来自内华达屎蛋市， |
| [01:23] | who’s got the newly dropped balls enough | 刚刚发育出毛来， |
| [01:26] | to think that… I can run for president.” | 就敢来竞选总统了。” |
| [01:28] | Kent, you are former Sec Def Maddox. | Kent，你是前国防部长Maddox。 |
| [01:30] | Don’t do the voice, though. | 但不要学他的声音。 |
| [01:32] | I’ve only ever used this voice, | 我只有这一个声音， |
| [01:34] | – even as a young child. – Okay. | – 小时候就是这声音。 – 好。 |
| [01:36] | Sec Def Maddox, where do you stand on crime? | 国防部长Maddox，你关于犯罪的立场是什么？ |
| [01:38] | Well, right now I’m coming across pretty hard-lined, | 目前我显得较为强硬， |
| [01:41] | so I’ll go soft to outflank Mr. Chung. | 所以我将放松姿态，包抄Chung先生。 |
| [01:45] | Oh, well, I’m the hip-hop governor of Minnesota | 哦，那个，我是明尼苏达的嘻哈州长， |
| [01:47] | and I’m coming off as too soft, | 我显得过于温和， |
| [01:49] | so I’ll try to out-hard Sec Def Maddox. | 所以我要强硬起来，与国防部长Maddox抗衡。 |
| [01:52] | They’ve got more flip-flops than the cast of “Baywatch.” | 颠来倒去的话比“海滩游侠”还多（flip-flops亦指人字拖）。 |
| [01:55] | What? Oh, my God. | 什么？哦，我的天哪。 |
| [01:56] | Well, maybe– I don’t know if it’s gonna be “Baywatch.” | 嗯，可能――我不知道“海滩游侠”是不是合适。 |
| [01:58] | There’s probably a more up-to-date reference we could– | 可能有不那么古老的剧可以―― |
| [02:01] | You know what, son? You should only talk | 你听我说，小子，有人拉你的线的时候 |
| [02:02] | if someone pulls your string, okay? | 你才能说话，好吗？（发条玩偶） |
| [02:04] | And even then, you just say, “Tickle me.” | 而且那个时候你也只能说“挠挠我”。 |
| [02:06] | I like his jokes. They’re jokes, right? | 我喜欢这个笑话。是笑话对吧？ |
| [02:10] | – Yeah. – Yeah? | – 嗯。 – 是吗？ |
| [02:11] | Okay, everyone, a drumroll. | 好了，大家，擂起鼓来。 |
| [02:14] | That’s not really a drumroll. | 那个不是鼓声。 |
| [02:15] | – She’s coming. She’s coming. – Ready? | – 她来了，她来了。 – 准备好了？ |
| [02:18] | I think Gary’s about to come. | 我看Gary要射了。 |
| [02:19] | – Don’t do it. – It’s too much buildup. | – 别这样。 – 铺垫太夸张了。 |
| [02:21] | It’s too much buildup. | 铺垫太夸张了。 |
| [02:23] | Rebranded. | 焕然一新。 |
| [02:28] | What do we think? I love it. | 你们觉得怎么样？我很喜欢。 |
| [02:29] | Love it– love it. Looks great. | 喜欢――喜欢。很好看。 |
| [02:33] | I never knew you had so much neck. | 我从来不知道你脖子这么长。 |
| [02:35] | – I know! – I mean that in a good way. | – 就是！ – 这是好事。 |
| [02:37] | – Right. – I think necks are neat. | – 对。 – 我觉得有脖子很赞。 |
| [02:39] | I’m going to go show everybody myself. | 我要让大家都看到我。 |
| [02:40] | – Okay. – Okay, let’s go do it. | – 好的。 – 好的，来吧。 |
| [02:42] | Just imagine, that’s what you’ll look like when you become a boy. | 想想看，你如果是男孩，就是那个样子。 |
| [02:44] | Ma’am, this is the haircut that your head has always wanted, | 女士，这个发型就是你心仪已久， |
| [02:47] | – but was too afraid to ask for. – Right. | – 但一直不敢理的。 – 对。 |
| [02:48] | – Everything about it says… – “Tomorrow.” | – 整个散发着一种…… – “明天”的感觉。 |
| [02:50] | – …tomorrow. – Yeah. | – ……明天。 – 嗯。 |
| [02:51] | Hello. Oh, no, don’t be shy. | 你好。哦，没事，别害羞。 |
| [02:53] | If you feel like you must applaud, then, you know. | 如果你觉得非鼓掌，就，你懂的。 |
| [02:56] | Oh… | |
| [03:00] | No, it’s fine. Don’t, don’t. | 不，没关系。不要，不要。 |
| [03:01] | Look at that, Mom. | 瞧瞧，妈妈。 |
| [03:03] | People are gonna start to think | 现在大家要以为我们是姐妹了， |
| [03:04] | we’re sisters now or– or siblings. | 或者手足了。（不区分性别） |
| [03:05] | Well, that’s not the haircut. | 嗯，这不是因为发型。 |
| [03:07] | That’s always been the case. We always get that. | 一直都是这样，人家经常这么说。 |
| [03:08] | – Hi. – Ma’am. | – 你好。 – 女士。 |
| [03:10] | – Yes? – Can you sign this to the max, please? | – 什么事？ – 能在这签名吗？（不懂max） |
| [03:11] | Yes. | 行。 |
| [03:16] | Getting nothing here. | 什么反应都没有。 |
| [03:17] | – Thank you. – Okay. | – 谢谢。 – 好的。 |
| [03:19] | “Short hair for the long haul.” | “短头发，长眼界。” |
| [03:20] | – That’s good, I like that. – Thanks, guys. | – 不错，我喜欢。 – 谢谢大家。 |
| [03:22] | – Very good. – What is it with you two? | – 很好。- 你们俩是怎么回事？ |
| [03:24] | It’s like– it’s like flirting, but sexless. | 你们像是在调情，但又没有性感味道。 |
| [03:27] | – Well, look, it’s “George Looney.” – Hey, Kent. | – 哦，看，乔治疯鲁尼来了。 – 你好，Kent。 |
| [03:29] | Dan, what are you doing here? | Dan，你来干吗？ |
| [03:31] | Everybody needs to be somewhere, Mike. | 人总得有个地方去，Mike。 |
| [03:33] | – I need to be here. – So, did they cure you or whatever? | – 我必须在这儿。 – 那么，他们把你治好了还是怎么着？ |
| [03:37] | No, I did not need to be cured, Michael. | 不，我不需要治疗，Michael。 |
| [03:39] | I diagnosed myself with an acute case | 我自我诊断患有急性 |
| [03:41] | of “everything’s fine.” | “一切皆好”症。 |
| [03:43] | Can I get anybody a coffee? | 有人要咖啡吗？ |
| [03:45] | – Uh, yes, please. – Yeah? Okay. | – 呃，好的，谢谢。 – 要吗？好。 |
| [03:46] | Milk and two heaping spoonfuls | 加牛奶，再加两满勺 |
| [03:48] | – of whatever the fuck you’re on. – Me, too. | – 你吃的药。 – 我也要。 |
| [03:51] | ‘Cause it frames my face. Yeah. | 因为勾勒出了我的脸型。嗯。 |
| [03:52] | Oh, excuse me, buddy. | 哦，不好意思，伙计。 |
| [03:54] | – Oh! – Oh. I didn’t even recognize you. | – 哦！ – 哦。我都没认出你来。 |
| [03:56] | – Look at you. – Look at you. | – 看看你。 – 看看你。 |
| [03:58] | – I love it. Do you love it? – Yeah. | – 我很喜欢。你喜欢吗？ – 嗯。 |
| [04:00] | Uh, ma’am, I just wanna say again… thank you. | 呃，女士，我就想再次……谢谢你。 |
| [04:03] | – Mm-hmm. – And I’m still very sorry that I– you know, | – 嗯。 – 我依然十分抱歉，你知道， |
| [04:05] | I let it all get to me. But I’ve cleared it out. | 我一时昏头。但现在我弄清楚了。 |
| [04:07] | I’m much more centered. I’m better. | 我中心很明确。我好多了。 |
| [04:09] | Yeah, well, like I said before, I forgive you. | 嗯，我说过的，我原谅你。 |
| [04:11] | – Because I’m nice… – You are. | – 因为我人好…… – 的确。 |
| [04:12] | – and because I need your brain. – Thank you. | – 还因为我需要你的脑子。 – 谢谢。 |
| [04:14] | But don’t ever go schizo-titzo on me again. | 但不许再疯疯癫癫了。 |
| [04:17] | And get rid of this. | 还有，把这个剃了。 |
| [04:22] | – Ma’am, continuing to love the hair. – Thank you. | – 女士，继续爱你的发型哟。 – 谢谢。 |
| [04:24] | – Welcome to debate prep. – Oh, good. | – 欢迎参加辩论演习。 – 哦，好。 |
| [04:26] | Mike is Chung. Uh-huh. | Mike当Chung。嗯。 |
| [04:27] | – Kent is ex-Sec Def Maddox. – Ooh. | – Kent是前国防部长Maddox。 – 哦。 |
| [04:29] | – Ben is Owen Pierce. – Oh, that does look like him. | – Ben当Owen Pierce。 – 哦，还真的挺像。 |
| [04:32] | And Congressman Furlong is Joe Thornhill. | Furlong议员则是Joe Thornhill。 |
| [04:34] | – Baseball. – Yeah. Oh, God. | – 棒球。 – 嗯。哦，天哪。 |
| [04:36] | Can’t we give Pierce a dollar, | 我们不能给Pierce一块钱 |
| [04:38] | send him off to the movies or something? | 打发他去看电影什么的吗？ |
| [04:40] | Let me tell you something. Thornhill’s the one to watch, | 我告诉你们。要小心Thornhill那家伙， |
| [04:42] | because he is a complete asshole. | 因为他是个彻底的混蛋。 |
| [04:45] | Actually, you know what? Here you go, buddy. | 实际上吧……给你，伙计。 |
| [04:48] | – Thank you. – Coffee for the Golden Bear. | -谢谢。 – 给金毛熊的咖啡。 |
| [04:51] | I have a buddy who is inside MLB and he said it’s possible | 我认识有个职棒（职业棒球联盟）的人，他说 |
| [04:54] | that Thornhill might have had an affair. | Thornhill有可能有过外遇。 |
| [04:57] | Ooh. Do we have proof? | 哦~有证据吗？ |
| [04:58] | 嗯，有滴血的避孕套吗？（smoking gun：铁证）Yeah, is there a smoking condom? | |
| [05:00] | It supposedly happened about eight years ago. | 据说是八年前的事。 |
| [05:02] | Eight years ago? It could have been anyone. Could have been Ben. | 八年前？那和谁都有可能。搞不好和Ben。 |
| [05:04] | Yeah, I poked everything that moved back then. | 嗯，那时候只要是个活的我就戳戳。 |
| [05:06] | You did. | 确实。 |
| [05:06] | All right, well, we just need another reliable source and then… | 好了，那么我们只需要再有一个可靠来源就…… |
| [05:09] | we can make it an affair to remember. | 可以让这个外遇造成轰动。 |
| [05:11] | Bam! | 嘭！ |
| [05:13] | God, I feel so powerful! | 天哪，我感觉充满力量！ |
| [05:15] | I got a whole new rush of blood to my new head. | 有一股全新的血流向我的新脑袋。 |
| [05:18] | Well, if Thornhill strayed once, there might be others. | 如果Thornhill出轨过一次，也许还有其他的。 |
| [05:21] | Maybe a crack whore, if we’re lucky. | 如果我们幸运的话，搞不好是吸毒的妓女。 |
| [05:22] | Call me naive, but isn’t that unethical? | 算我太天真，但那样是不是不道德？ |
| [05:24] | You’re naive. Welcome to politics. | 你就是太天真。欢迎来到政界。 |
| [05:27] | Sorry to interrupt, but I need these looked at, stat. | 抱歉打扰了，但这些需要你过目，马上。 |
| [05:29] | And the president’s office is on the line. | 还有，总统办公室来电话。 |
| [05:31] | Oh, my God. The president will not stop calling. | 哦，天哪。总统给我打电话打个没完。 |
| [05:35] | I just can’t seem to get him out of my hair. | 扎进我头发里不出来了呢。 |
| [05:37] | – Ma’am? – Did you notice? | – 女士？ – 你注意到了吗？ |
| [05:39] | – You have a new haircut. – Yeah. | – 你剪新发型了。 – 对。 |
| [05:41] | – And a twitch. – What? | – 脸还抽筋。 – 什么？ |
| [05:43] | I thought I was just feeling it. You actually saw it? | 我以为是自我感觉而已。你真的看到了？ |
| [05:45] | – It’s really, really, really tiny. – You’ve seen it? | – 非常非常非常轻微。 – 你看到了？ |
| [05:47] | When you feel it happening, maybe you smile through it. | 感觉要抽的时候，可以一笑掩盖。 |
| [05:49] | – Oh. – Oh, there. Aha! | |
| [05:51] | – Did you see that? – Not at all. | – 你看到了吗？ – 完全没有。 |
| [05:53] | Sue, I cannot stress to you enough | Sue，我没法再跟你重新强调 |
| [05:55] | the uninterruptability of this meeting. | 这次会议绝对不可打断了。 |
| [05:59] | Well, maybe I should get my mother to sign these papers. | 哦，可以我该找我妈妈签这些文件。 |
| [06:01] | Sue, do not test me. I do not want to have a scene here. | Sue，不要挑战我的耐心。我不想闹事。 |
| [06:03] | I will not have a scene. | 我不会闹事的。 |
| [06:06] | Somebody should check if they’re having makeup sex. | 谁去看看他们是不是在打和好炮。 |
| [06:08] | – Gary. Gary! – What do you think of the new cut, huh? | 你觉得新发型怎么样？ |
| [06:11] | – Do you like it? – Of course I don’t fucking like it, Gary. | – 你喜欢吗？ – 当然他妈的不喜欢了，Gary。 |
| [06:14] | It’s the worst use of scissors since my failed vasectomy. | 自从我的结扎手术失败以后，就没有见过人这么乱用剪刀了。 |
| [06:17] | The elfin look is in right now. I was reading about it. | 小精灵造型现在正时髦。我看到有文章这么写。 |
| [06:19] | People don’t elect elves, okay? | 没人会给小精灵投票，好吗？ |
| [06:21] | They put them to work in grottos | 小精灵只能在山洞里干活， |
| [06:22] | or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them. | 或者被灌醉，在男生宿舍里被扔来扔去。 |
| [06:24] | – Okay, that’s dwarfs. – It doesn’t matter. | – 好了，那是侏儒才对。 – 都一样。 |
| [06:26] | Do you really think it’s too short? | 你真的觉得太短了吗？ |
| [06:28] | Yeah. She looks like k.d. lang. | 对。她看上去像那个男人一样的歌手。 |
| [06:30] | Think of all the lesbian jokes we’re gonna have to suffer. | 想想我们得对付多少女同笑话吧。 |
| [06:32] | “Strap-on Selina,” “Selina Navratilova,” | “绑鸡鸡的Selina”“Selina春哥” |
| [06:35] | – “fingering the dyke.” – Oh, Mike. Why are you so angry? | – “拉拉指法”。 – 哦Mike，你干嘛那么愤怒？ |
| [06:38] | Because you have created a fuckload of work for me. | 因为你给我惹了大麻烦。 |
| [06:41] | I have to go out and find a friendly style reporter, | 我得去找个和善的时尚记者， |
| [06:43] | get ’em on our side– preferably a blind one. | 把他们拉到我们这边――最好是个瞎子。 |
| [06:46] | – You’re married to one. – A blind woman? | – 你的老婆不就是吗。 – 瞎子？ |
| [06:49] | – Okay. – Oh, Wendy. I’ll text her. | – 好吧。 – 哦，Wendy。我给她发短信。 |
| [06:52] | Okay, do you think we could add extensions or something? | 那你觉得我们可以接发之类的吗？ |
| [06:54] | I’m up for extensions. What are extensions? | 我赞成接发。接发是什么？ |
| [06:59] | The first thing is defense spending. | 第一项内容是国防开支。 |
| [07:00] | Yeah, well, then we use the drawdown-lockdown. | 嗯，这样，我们使出“一减一控”。 |
| [07:02] | – Right. – Fuck-what which-way? | – 对。 – 什么什么鬼？ |
| [07:04] | Draw down troops abroad, lock down the budget at home. | 削减海外驻军，控制国内预算。 |
| [07:06] | Our line can be “Thornhill’s hitting home runs and away runs.” | 我们的口号可以是“Thornhill击出本垒打和外垒打”。 （home and away国内外） |
| [07:09] | – Can you have “away runs”? – Yeah. | – 有外垒打这回事吗？ – 嗯。 |
| [07:11] | – No. – Okay, so what am I attacking Chung with? | – 没有。 – 好了，那我怎么攻击Chung呢？ |
| [07:15] | – HA-HA. – What, are you laughing at us, “Pee-wee Sperman”? | – 哈哈。 – 你笑我们？小小撸管男? |
| [07:17] | – Oh, stop it. – HA-HA… | – 哦，别这样。 – 哈哈。 |
| [07:20] | “Health care, air pollution, high salaries, and Afghanistan.” | “医保，空气污染，高薪，还有阿富汗。” |
| [07:22] | Position on immigration. | 移民主张。 |
| [07:24] | Okay, well, my position | 好，我的移民主张 |
| [07:26] | has always been clear on immigration. | 一直都很明确。 |
| [07:28] | Um… oh, God, what the fuck is that thing? | 呃……哦，天哪，是什么鬼玩意？ |
| [07:31] | – The three Rs. – Oh, the three Rs. | – 三个R。 – 哦，三个R。 |
| [07:33] | “Reaffirm, reform, renew.” | “重申，改革，创新。” |
| [07:37] | – Renew. – Yes. | – 创新。 – 对。 |
| [07:38] | I don’t think I like the three Rs, you guys. | 我不太喜欢三个R，同志们。 |
| [07:41] | – I like them. – You do? | – 我喜欢。 – 真的吗？ |
| [07:43] | Okay, yeah. I like them, then. I like ’em. | 好吧，嗯。那我喜欢，我喜欢。 |
| [07:45] | Okay, so, moving on. Do you think that your London trip | 好的，那么继续。你觉得你的伦敦之行 |
| [07:49] | harmed the “special relationship”? | 对“特殊关系”有损害吗？ |
| [07:50] | Absolutely not. We still have a very special relationship | 绝对没有。我们依然保持十分特殊的关系， |
| [07:53] | and I’m very much looking forward | 我非常期待 |
| [07:55] | to the upcoming royal visit. | 即将到来的皇室造访。 |
| [07:59] | Okay. | 好。 |
| [08:00] | I think we’re gonna leave it there today. | 我看今天就到这里吧。 |
| [08:02] | Meeting is over. Pleasantries, et cetera. | 会议结束。寒暄几句，等等。 |
| [08:04] | Well, ma’am, I hope your meeting went well, | 女士，我希望你的会议顺利， |
| [08:06] | because the rest of your day is a logistical hell. | 因为今天剩下的活动会忙死人。 |
| [08:08] | Is there any way you can make that sound more appealing? | 你能换个好听点的说法吗？ |
| [08:10] | Well, I could add the word “cookie” on the end for no reason. | 嗯，我可以凭空在句尾说个“曲奇饼”。 |
| [08:12] | She can’t practice not having the twitch. | 她没法把抽筋练没。 |
| [08:15] | She can practice that. | 她可以。 |
| [08:16] | It’s called “muscle memory.” | 这叫做“肌肉记忆”。 |
| [08:18] | – This is gonna be on television. – What about Botox? | – 要上电视的。 – 肉毒杆菌怎么样？ |
| [08:25] | We’re getting ready for showtime. | 马上就要上台了。 |
| [08:27] | – Sure am, boss. Sure am. – Yep, yep. | – 没错，老大。没错。 – 嗯嗯。 |
| [08:30] | – How are you feeling? – It’s hot. It feels hot in here. | – 你感觉怎么样？ – 热。这里真热。 |
| [08:33] | Yes, it’s fine. Thank you very much. | 没事的。十分感谢。 |
| [08:34] | – Welcome to the University of New Hampshire. – Thank you. | – 欢迎来到新罕布什尔大学。 – 谢谢。 |
| [08:36] | We’re gonna be onstage in about five minutes, everybody. | 大家，大约五分钟后上台。 |
| [08:39] | It’s like being dropped into enemy territory unarmed. | 感觉像空手进入敌军领地。 |
| [08:44] | – Oh, nice to see you, Congressman Pierce. – Madam Vice President. | – 哦，很高兴见到你，Pierce议员。 – 副总统女士。 |
| [08:46] | Hope you’re not feeling too– | 希望你不会―― |
| [08:48] | well, I guess you are feeling a little nervous. | 哦，我想你大概有点紧张。 |
| [08:49] | – Hey, George. – Hi. How are you? I like the new hair getup. | 你好吗？我喜欢你的新发型。 |
| [08:52] | – Oh, thank you. – You’d fit right in in the military. | – 哦，谢谢。 – 你去参军浑然天成。 |
| [08:55] | Sir, might I say, you look very presidential. | 先生，我得说，你看上去非常有总统相。 |
| [08:57] | Get me some fruit, some mango. | 给我弄点水果，芒果。 |
| [08:59] | Yes, sir, of course. Absolutely. | 好的，先生，没问题。立即去。 |
| [09:01] | Well, here it is, game one of the series. | 好了，现在开始，联赛的第一战。 |
| [09:02] | Joe Thornhill. What are you gonna do? | Joe Thornhill。你打算怎么做？ |
| [09:04] | You gonna hit one out of the park, “Shoeless Joe”? | 你会打出本垒打吧，“不穿鞋的Joe”？ |
| [09:06] | Well, I’m gonna try, ma’am. | 嗯，我一定尽力，女士。 |
| [09:07] | Maybe we’re gonna be surprised | 也许那边的 |
| [09:09] | by our “pinch hitter” over here. | 替补队员会一鸣惊人。 |
| [09:10] | You never know. | 世事难料啊。 |
| [09:11] | My parents did not allow me to play sports | 我小时候父母不让我 |
| [09:14] | growing up, so… | 参加运动，所以…… |
| [09:17] | That’s a shame. | 真可惜。 |
| [09:19] | Oh, I wonder if we should take a picture. | 哦，我们能不能拍照？ |
| [09:21] | – Do you think that would be a good idea? – Good idea. | – 你觉得这样好吗？ – 不错。 |
| [09:23] | – Should we, um… – No, I think… | – 要不要，嗯…… – 不，我看…… |
| [09:26] | I have a much better camera. | 我的相机好得多。 |
| [09:28] | All right, say who’s gonna be president! | 好嘞，说“谁是总统”！ |
| [09:32] | – No, no. – No. | – 不，不。 – 不。 |
| [09:34] | Mr. Egan, I see you’ve shaved. Wise. | Egan先生，我看你剃胡子了。很明智。 |
| [09:37] | You don’t have the facial gravitas for a beard. | 你的脸型不够庄严，不适合胡子。 |
| [09:41] | It’s so smooth, it’s amazing. | 光滑得惊人。 |
| [09:43] | It’s like touching a child’s face. Here, try it. | 就像摸婴儿的脸一样。来，你试试。 |
| [09:45] | I don’t enjoy touching children’s faces. | 我不喜欢摸小孩的脸。 |
| [09:47] | And neither should you. | 你也不应该喜欢。 |
| [09:49] | Hey, “Dan Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.” | 嘿，飞跃疯人院的Dan。 |
| [09:51] | How’s it going, buddy? You gonna self-harm? | 过得怎么样，伙计？你要自残吗？ |
| [09:54] | Can I live stream it? | 能不能让我直播？ |
| [09:55] | You know, a lot of that aggression comes from insecurity, buddy. | 你知道，你的尖锐态度很大一部分来自不安全感，伙计。 |
| [09:58] | How are you gonna manage all this craziness? | 你要怎么处理这些疯狂的事？ |
| [10:01] | Well, I don’t just manage, ma’am, I coach. | 我不只是处理，女士，我教他们。 |
| [10:04] | And I’m gonna coach America. | 而且我会教美国。 |
| [10:05] | – You’re talking to me now. – I was just practicing. | – 你在和我说话呢。 – 我只是在练习。 |
| [10:08] | Okay. But I mean, if it doesn’t pan out, | 好吧。但我是说，如果没有成， |
| [10:12] | well, I guess you’ll just have happy memories | 你也还有欢乐的记忆 |
| [10:13] | to bring home to– where is it? | 可以带回――你家在哪儿？ |
| [10:17] | I believe they still call it the White House, ma’am. | 我相信那里依然叫做白宫，女士。 |
| [10:19] | – You gonna come visit me? – Visit? | – 你要来我家做客？ – 做客？ |
| [10:20] | – Yeah. – I’m gonna redecorate. | – 嗯。 – 我要重新装修。 |
| [10:22] | – Oh, okay. – Sorry to interrupt, ma’am. | – 哦，好吧。 – 抱歉打扰了，女士。 |
| [10:24] | You go right ahead. | 说吧。 |
| [10:25] | Thank you. I just wanted to make sure | 谢谢。我想确定你有所有 |
| [10:27] | that you had all the numbers on the “sanctuary states.” | 关于“庇护州”的数据。（保护移民、未登记人口） |
| [10:31] | Oh– oh, yes. Yes, I do. Yes. | 哦――哦，对。我有的。有的。 |
| [10:33] | Because you need them all. Otherwise you’d be screwed. | 因为你需要所有数据。不然就玩完了。 |
| [10:35] | – Yeah. – Completely. | – 嗯。 – 完蛋。 |
| [10:36] | That’s cute, little mind games. | 真可爱，跟我玩心理游戏。 |
| [10:38] | I happen to know all about sanctuary states, ladies. | 女士们，我正好对庇护州了如指掌。 |
| [10:40] | See you later. | 一会儿见。 |
| [10:43] | – All right. – Yeah. | |
| [10:45] | – I think I just did– – The twitch is back. | – 我觉得我刚才 – 又抽筋了。 |
| [10:47] | The twitch is back, yeah. I cannot believe it. | 又抽筋了，对。不敢相信。 |
| [10:48] | No, that’s in the past and you have to go forward. | 别，那个已经过去了，你得往前看。 |
| [10:51] | Oh, my God. Twitchy is back. | 哦，天哪，抽抽又回来了。 |
| [10:52] | – Shit! – What? | – 日！ – 什么？ |
| [10:53] | Don’t sweat it. | 别慌。 |
| [10:54] | You have to literally not sweat. | 说真的，你一滴汗都不能流。 |
| [10:56] | You don’t want to go Nixon on us. | 你可不能来尼克松那一出。 |
| [10:58] | You can turn sideways. Twitch, smile, turn. | 可以侧过去。抽抽，微笑，侧脸。 |
| [11:01] | – And the three Rs. – I have the three Rs. | – 还有三个R。 – 我知道三个R。 |
| [11:03] | – “Reform, reaffirm, renew.” – No, “renew.” | – “改革，重申，创新。” – 不，“创新”。 |
| [11:05] | That’s what I just said, renew. | 我说的就是创新。 |
| [11:07] | She looks like Peter Falk. | 她像Peter Falk一样（戴义眼的男星）。 |
| [11:09] | Maybe a fourth R? Maybe just “relax.” | 要不要来第四个R？放松。 |
| [11:11] | – No. – Madam Vice President, 30 seconds to air. | – 不要。 – 副总统女士，30秒后直播。 |
| [11:13] | – Thank you. – Is the twitch really bad? | – 谢谢。 – 抽筋真的很厉害吗？ |
| [11:16] | Yes. | 对。 |
| [11:18] | – Okay. – Yeah. | |
| [11:20] | Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome | 女士们先生们，请欢迎 |
| [11:22] | the candidates for tonight’s debate. | 今晚辩论的辩手。 |
| [11:24] | Joe Thornhill. | |
| [11:26] | Former Secretary of Defense George Maddox. | 前国防部长George Maddox。 |
| [11:29] | Vice Preside Selina Meyer. | 副总统Selina Meyer。 |
| [11:31] | – Madam Vice President. – How do you do? | – 副总统女士。 – 你好。 |
| [11:33] | Here’s my favorite part, | 这段最有意思， |
| [11:34] | where they all pretend like they like each other. | 大家假装相亲相爱。 |
| [11:36] | Governor Danny Chung. | Danny Chung州长。 |
| [11:37] | Fuck Broadway. This is real acting. | 百老汇滚一边去。这才叫表演。 |
| [11:38] | Congressman Owen Pierce. | Owen Pierce议员。 |
| [11:41] | Nice air kiss. I think he actually missed the air. | 飞吻技术高超。我看他已经飞过了空气了。 |
| [11:44] | – Welcome, all of you. – Thank you. | – 欢迎各位到来。 – 谢谢。 |
| [11:46] | – Let’s get started. – Now he spills his water! | – 开始吧！ – 他竟然把水洒了。 |
| [11:48] | I swear, this kid is literally gonna shit himself. | 我发誓，这小子真要吓得拉裤裆了。 |
| [11:50] | Joe Thornhill, you’re an ex-baseball coach. | Joe Thornhill，你以前是棒球教练。 |
| [11:53] | People say you’re way out of your league, literally. | 有人说你越界了，字面意义上的。 |
| [11:57] | – Shouldn’t you get off the field? – You know, ma’am… | – 你是不是应该换个场地？ – 你懂的，女士…… |
| [12:00] | I’m just an ordinary guy | 我只是个普通人， |
| [12:02] | and I live in the real America. | 生活在真实的美国。 |
| [12:04] | I may not know much about running the country, | 我也许不太懂管理国家， |
| [12:06] | I’ll give you that. But you know what? | 我承认。但我想告诉你们， |
| [12:09] | Neither did George Washington. | 乔治华盛顿曾经也不懂。 |
| [12:11] | Very good. Now compare yourself to Lincoln and Buddha. | 很好。现在把自己比作林肯和佛祖吧。 |
| [12:14] | What you need is some coaching. | 你们需要一点指导。 |
| [12:16] | And I want to be your coach. | 而我，希望做你们的教练。 |
| [12:18] | I want to coach America. | 我会指导美国。 |
| [12:21] | And if you’ll have me, | 如果你们选择我， |
| [12:24] | well, I guarantee you… | 我保证， |
| [12:26] | we’re going all the way to the pennant. | 我们会一路凯旋，赢得桂冠。 |
| [12:28] | Thank you very much. | 十分感谢。 |
| [12:34] | Thornhill’s dial tests are off the dial. | Thornhill电话调查结果非常出色。 |
| [12:36] | The focus groups love him. | 大家爱死他了。 |
| [12:37] | The public will vote for anybody they recognize. | 大众看到认识的人就会投票。 |
| [12:39] | We could lose to the whale from “Free Willy.” | “人鱼童话”的那条鲸鱼都能赢咱们。 |
| [12:42] | Today, we’re here to talk about records. | 今天，我们要讨论经历。 |
| [12:45] | And my record clearly shows | 而我的经历显示， |
| [12:47] | that unlike some of us, I have been tested. | 不像有些人，我经受过考验。 |
| [12:50] | Here comes the burning tank story where he saves the one guy | 又要讲他从着火的坦克里救人的故事了， |
| [12:53] | and the rest of us get fuckin’ tortured. | 才救了一个，而我们都要受虐。 |
| [12:55] | …when I saved my friend | ……我在战场上 |
| [12:59] | on the field of battle | 从着火的坦克里 |
| [13:02] | from a burning tank… | 救出我朋友的时候…… |
| [13:03] | I wasn’t thinking about myself. | 我没有想着自己。 |
| [13:07] | I was thinking about my friend. | 我想着我的朋友。 |
| [13:09] | I was thinking about his family. | 我想着他的家人。 |
| [13:11] | Look at him throwing his water everywhere. | 看看他，水洒得到处都是。 |
| [13:13] | He should have been there when the tank was on fire. | 他该去给那辆着火的坦克救火。 |
| [13:15] | God, how does this kid feed himself? | 天，那小子怎么自己吃饭的？ |
| [13:17] | Mike, you said Wendy would be here. Where is she? | Mike，你说Wendy会来的。她在哪儿？ |
| [13:20] | She’s not my dog, | 她不是我的狗， |
| [13:21] | Amy– who actually isn’t very well at the moment. | Amy――说起来我的狗目前身体不好。 |
| [13:23] | I don’t care, Mike. Just get Wendy here, okay? | 我不关心那个，Mike。快让Wendy来，好吗？ |
| [13:25] | She’s got a problem with an anal gland. | 她的肛腺有点问题。 |
| [13:27] | I’m talking about the dog. | 我是说狗。 |
| [13:29] | Oh, there she is. Hey, tiger. | 哦，她来了。嘿，老大。 |
| [13:30] | – Aha! Hey- – So, Gary… | – 啊哈！嘿- – 那么，Gary…… |
| [13:33] | – talk to Wendy about Selina. – What? | – 跟Wendy讲讲Selina。 – 什么？ |
| [13:36] | – The thing we– the– – Wendy, hey. | – 我们说的――那个―― – 嗨Wendy。 |
| [13:38] | We are so excited about the Veep’s new look, Wendy. | 副总统换新发型了，我们很激动，Wendy。 |
| [13:41] | W-we think it’s young– makes her look younger, | 我-我们觉得很青春――显得她年轻， |
| [13:44] | – but it’s age-appropriate, I feel. – Nice to see you, too, Gary. | – 但也符合她的年龄，我觉得。 – 我也很高兴见到你，Gary。 |
| [13:46] | – Hey. – Hey, relax. It’s a puff piece, all right? | – 嘿。 – 嘿，放轻松。只是篇说好话的豆腐块。 |
| [13:48] | I’m with “Style” section now. You don’t have to do that. | 我现在做时尚这块了。没必要这样。 |
| [13:50] | People are being so critical, Wendy. | 嘴贱的人很多，Wendy。 |
| [13:52] | I mean, they think she looks like a lesbian. | 我是说，他们觉得她像同性恋。 |
| [13:54] | Shit! I didn’t just say that. I’m sorry. | 艹！说错话了。对不起。 |
| [13:56] | Gary, stop being so nervous. Watch me. | Gary，别这么紧张。看着。 |
| [13:59] | “Oh, I love your tie.” | “哦，我好喜欢你的领带。” |
| [14:00] | See? Basilly brain-dead. Don’t worry. | 看到了吗？我几乎脑死亡了。不用担心。 |
| [14:02] | – Secretary Maddox. – Yes? | – Maddox部长。 – 嗯？ |
| [14:04] | You’ve been with the military exclusively. | 你之前一直从事军事工作。 |
| [14:06] | What makes you qualified to be the president? | 你有何资格做总统呢？ |
| [14:09] | I’m a man of words that the American people can understand. | 我这个人只说美国人民听得懂的话。 |
| [14:16] | I’m talking about words like… | 像经济……就业…… |
| [14:18] | the economy… jobs… | 这样的话。 |
| [14:22] | World’s worst boy-band member ever right there. | 世界最烂的少男组合成员登场。 |
| [14:25] | It’s a simple and direct language. | 这是一种简单直接的语言。 |
| [14:30] | And, uh, ahem… | 而且，呃，嗯…… |
| [14:32] | He looks like he just came out of the bathroom | 他像是刚从厕所出来 |
| [14:34] | and then decided that he hadn’t finished yet. | 突然觉得还没有拉干净。 |
| [14:36] | It’s a language that I feel | 我感到美国人民 |
| [14:40] | the American people wanna listen to. | 正需要这种语言。 |
| [14:42] | I feel your pain. You okay? | 感同身受。你还好吗？ |
| [14:46] | I’ll be better when you walk away. | 你走开我就会好一点。 |
| [14:48] | If only we could all just walk away. | 如果我们能就这么走开就好了。 |
| [14:50] | And now to you, Madam Vice President. | 现在到你，副总统女士。 |
| [14:52] | Your personal trainer caused some controversy recently | 最近你的私人教练引起了争议， |
| [14:56] | and had to be dismissed. | 被迫被辞退。 |
| [14:57] | What do you say to the accusation | 有人指责你过于注重形象， |
| [14:59] | that you care too much about image | 对国家没有实际贡献， |
| [15:01] | and aren’t making a real difference to America? | 对此你怎么看？ |
| [15:04] | Before I answer it, I’d like to start off | 在回答之前，我想先 |
| [15:06] | by saying I would like to be the first | 代表各位辩手感谢 |
| [15:08] | to thank the kind folks | 新罕布什尔大学 |
| [15:12] | here at the University of New Hampshire– | 的好同志们， |
| [15:14] | the faculty, the staff, the students, of course– | 教员，职工，学生，当然―― |
| [15:17] | Absolutely. – for– | 绝对的。 – 你们―― |
| [15:18] | Excuse me, Congressman? | 不好意思，议员？ |
| [15:20] | I was– yes. Yes, ma’am, absolutely. | 我――对。对，女士，说的非常好。 |
| [15:23] | Great. I do want to answer that question. | 很好。我要回答这个问题。 |
| [15:26] | I’ve got to say, I like this new look. | 我得说，我喜欢你的新造型。 |
| [15:28] | – You do? – Mm-hmm, yeah. | – 真的吗？ – 嗯，是的。 |
| [15:29] | – Nice. – I mean, it’s better than that London outfit. | – 不错。 – 我是说，比伦敦那套衣服要好。 |
| [15:31] | That hat was crazy. | 那顶帽子太疯狂了。 |
| [15:32] | I did not have anything to do with that. | 那个跟我一点关系都没有。 |
| [15:34] | – Ray chose that hat. – Ray the trainer? | – 是Ray选的帽子。 – 私教Ray？ |
| [15:36] | – Yeah. – Ray has a say? | – 对。 – Ray有发言权？ |
| [15:38] | She does not say nay to Ray. You know what I’m sayin’? | 她根本无法拒绝Ray。你懂我的意思吧？ |
| [15:43] | What kind of stuff? | 在什么方面？ |
| [15:46] | I did have a fitness trainer. | 我确实有个私人教练。 |
| [15:48] | However, this gentleman did not make any decisions | 然而任何情况下，这位男士 |
| [15:51] | in my office under any circumstances. | 都不插手我的工作。 |
| [15:54] | I choose my own outfits, I stay in shape, | 我自己选择服装，我保持身材， |
| [15:57] | I make the decisions in my office, | 我全权掌握工作， |
| [15:59] | and I am the best multitasker on my team. | 我是我团队里最有力的对面手。 |
| [16:02] | She just said the opposite of what you said. | 她的说法和你正好相反。 |
| [16:04] | No… | 不…… |
| [16:07] | – Yes. – You can’t use that. Please don’t use that. | – 对。 – 你不能写这个。拜托不要写。 |
| [16:09] | You just gave me a good scoop on Ray. | 你亲手给我一个Ray的大新闻。 |
| [16:13] | I’m not gonna ignore that. | 我不能忽视它。 |
| [16:15] | Okay. | 好吧。 |
| [16:20] | Hello, Mike. | 你好，Mike。 |
| [16:22] | I just told Wendy that Ray picked the hat, | 我刚告诉Wendy是Ray选的帽子， |
| [16:24] | but then Selina said that he didn’t, | 但然后Selina说不是他， |
| [16:25] | so now Wendy knows that Selina’s lying. | 所以现在Wendy知道Selina在撒谎了。 |
| [16:27] | I’m sorry, Gary. You lost me at “Hello.” | 抱歉，Gary。你说“你好”的时候我就走神了。 |
| [16:29] | – How are we doing? – Well, Thornhill is still, | – 我们情况如何？ – 嗯，Thornhill依然， |
| [16:32] | to use a baseball analogy, “winning.” | 用棒球语言来说，赢着呢。 |
| [16:34] | Dan, get on the phone. Find me Thornhill’s snatch, now. | Dan，打电话。找出Thornhill的小蜜，赶紧地。 |
| [16:38] | Call every whore and mistress in America | 问遍美国每一个妓女和情妇， |
| [16:40] | until you find the right one. | 找到为止。 |
| [16:42] | You do remember that he had a breakdown recently? | 你还记得他最近刚崩溃过吧。 |
| [16:46] | Oh, Jesus, Kent. It was, like, three weeks ago. | 哦，老天，Kent。都三星期前的事了。 |
| [16:48] | Besides, Selina is waiting for the signal. | 而且，Selina等着信号呢。 |
| [16:50] | – We need to out this affair. – Yeah, we do. | – 我们得揭露他的外遇。 – 对，必须。 |
| [16:52] | We need to find the “smoking hon’.” | 我们得找到致命的“胸器”。 （第二个smoking gun谐音） |
| [16:54] | As in “honey.” That doesn’t work. | 胸部的胸。这个不太妙。 |
| [16:56] | That’s not clear. I’ve got a bad stomach cramp. | 意思不清楚。我胃抽筋得厉害。 |
| [16:57] | I think I might be coming down with a bug or something. | 我觉得可能长寄生虫了之类的。 |
| [16:58] | Pierce议员， Congressman Pierce, | |
| [17:01] | you’ve served in Congress for four years now. | 你在国会工作四年了。 |
| [17:03] | How does that affect your vision for America? | 这对你对美国的设想有何影响？ |
| [17:05] | The America that I see now | 现在我看到的美国 |
| [17:08] | is a mess. | 一团糟。 |
| [17:11] | Our economy is going down the drain. | 我们的经济状况一塌糊涂。 |
| [17:14] | If our government is going to take everything from us, | 如果我们的政府要把我们搜刮得 |
| [17:17] | bar the kitchen sink, | 除了洗碗池什么都不剩， |
| [17:19] | they might want to take… | 他们可能连塞子 |
| [17:22] | the plug as well. | 都要拿走。 |
| [17:25] | Why a plug? | 为什么是塞子？ |
| [17:27] | To… plug up the plug hole. | 去……塞住漏洞。 |
| [17:31] | – It was a joke. – He’s making a joke. | – 那是个玩笑。 – 他开玩笑了。 |
| [17:34] | Guess I’m the only one with a sense of humor. | 看来只有我一个人有幽默感啊。 |
| [17:37] | We should put this guy in Vegas. | 该把这家伙送去拉斯维加斯。 |
| [17:38] | I mean, anywhere but here. | 反正不能在这儿。 |
| [17:40] | If newspapers still had cartoonists, | 如果报纸还登连环画， |
| [17:42] | they could do something really clever with that plug. | 这个“塞子”可是个好素材。 |
| [17:44] | Hey, Jackson, are you working for him and not telling us? | 嘿，Jackson，你是不是偷偷替他工作没告诉我们？ |
| [17:47] | Everybody here doesn’t hate me, right? | 这儿总有不讨厌我的人吧，对吗？ |
| [17:52] | Baby, we have a little situation here. | 宝贝，有点小状况。 |
| [17:54] | Okay, just what exactly did Gary say, okay? | 好了，Gary究竟说了声明？ |
| [17:56] | You didn’t say anything about FLOTUS, did you? | 你没提第一夫人吧？ |
| [17:57] | No, but you just did. | 没有，但你刚提了。 |
| [17:59] | FLOTUS? What about FLOTUS? | 第一夫人？她怎么了？ |
| [18:01] | I didn’t say anything about FLOTUS. | 我什么都没说。 |
| [18:03] | – She’s a reporter. – Shut up. | – 她是个记者。 – 闭嘴。 |
| [18:05] | Hey, what’s going on with FLOTUS? | 嘿，第一夫人怎么了？ |
| [18:07] | – Nothing. – Nothing. | – 没什么。 – 没什么。 |
| [18:09] | – I have to write about something, so… – Okay, babe, look. | – 我总得写点什么，所以…… – 好了，宝贝，听我说。 |
| [18:11] | I’m gonna give you the Joe Thornhill affair. | 我给你透露Joe Thornhill的外遇吧。 |
| [18:14] | – Thornhill had an affair? – What the hell is wrong with you? | – Thornhill有外遇？ – 你什么毛病啊？ |
| [18:16] | That’s okay. That’s good with me. I’ll take that. | 没关系，我觉得可以。这个就行。 |
| [18:19] | – Good boy. – Good boy, good boy, good boy. | – 好孩子。 – 好孩子好孩子好孩子。 |
| [18:21] | Governor Chung, we live in a time | Chung州长，现在 |
| [18:23] | when young people find it increasingly hard to find work. | 年轻人找工作越来越难。 |
| [18:27] | How would you address this issue? | 你对此有何见解？ |
| [18:28] | Ten bucks he says, “Bring back the draft.” | 我赌十块钱他会说“重新征兵”。 |
| [18:30] | You know, I’m not trying to say | 你知道，我不打算说 |
| [18:32] | that you should join up and serve your country, | 你们应该团结起来服务国家， |
| [18:35] | but there are other options for the young adults– | 但年轻人有别的选择可以―― |
| [18:38] | I’d love to field this one, Governor Chung, if you don’t mind. | 我很乐意加入这个话题，如果Chung州长你不介意的话。 |
| [18:40] | I’m sorry, the question was directed to me. | 对不起，这个问题是问我的。 |
| [18:42] | But this is a question that is very near to my heart. | 但我深切关心这个问题。 |
| [18:45] | Are we all allowed to speak at once now? | 我们能同时发言吗？ |
| [18:47] | Is that how it’s gonna work? | 就这么办了？ |
| [18:49] | You know what? I would like to hear what the coach has to say. | 我说，我很乐意听听教练怎么说。 |
| [18:50] | – That’s manager. – Manager. That’s fine. | – 是经理。 – 经理。好的。 |
| [18:53] | You know, as someone | 你知道，我的整个职业生涯 |
| [18:55] | who’s spent my entire professional career | 都在帮助年轻运动员 |
| [18:57] | working with young athletes | 发挥潜能， |
| [18:59] | helping them to achieve their potential | 并且成为模范人物， |
| [19:00] | and, indeed, become role models, | 并且成为模范人物， |
| [19:03] | young adult unemployment has always been a priority for me. | 青年人的失业率一直是我关注的重心。 |
| [19:06] | He’s blocking Selina. | 他挡住Selina了。 |
| [19:07] | That guy’s smarter than he looks. | 那家伙没看上去那么蠢。 |
| [19:09] | Mind you, he’d have to be. | 提醒你，跟他看上去一样蠢可不容易。 |
| [19:10] | Seems to me the vice president has taken her eye off the ball. | 在我看来，副总统似乎搞错了重点。 |
| [19:14] | She’s become distracted by the trappings of her office. | 她深受内部事务牵绊。 |
| [19:17] | I think it’s time we stopped worrying about people up on the Hill. | 我认为是时候将注意力从高位转开了。 |
| [19:21] | According to the dials, Thornhill’s still out front. | 根据调查，Thornhilll依然领先。 |
| [19:24] | Okay, we really, really need | 好吧，我们真的，真的需要 |
| [19:26] | that woman who fucked him to fuck him. | 找出那个睡过她的女人玩死他了。 |
| [19:28] | – We need Joe’s ho. – I’m just waiting for one more source | – 我们需要Joe的婊。 – 再有一个人 |
| [19:30] | to corroborate the story. Wait, wait, wait. | 来确认消息就行。等着，等着，等着。 |
| [19:32] | – He fucked her. – Oh-hh! | – 他确实艹了她。 – 哦哦！ |
| [19:35] | This feels better than actually having sex yourself. | 这比自己打炮还要爽。 |
| [19:37] | Now, as a military man, I know that true leadership | 现在，作为一名军人，我知道真正的领袖 |
| [19:41] | takes strategy, it takes planning, it takes a vision. | 需要懂策略，会计划，有远见。 |
| [19:44] | Now, today, we’re not here… | 今天，我们在此不是…… |
| [19:46] | – to talk about personal trainers | – 为了讨论私教， |
| [19:49] | or baseball or… plugs. | 或者棒球，或者塞子。 |
| [19:53] | I certainly hope that the governor | 我希望州长不是 |
| [19:55] | is not suggesting that I haven’t been tested. | 暗示我没有经受过考验。 |
| [19:57] | I’ve served my entire life | 我一生都在 |
| [20:00] | under the scrutiny of the public eye, | 公众的密切注视下工作， |
| [20:02] | and I have no skeletons whatsoever in my closet. | 而我没有任何需要隐瞒的事。 |
| [20:06] | The question is, can we all say the same here? | 问题是，在座的各位也一样吗？ |
| [20:10] | I need this story coming out of every TV, | 我要美国的每一台电视、 |
| [20:12] | phone, laptop, and hairdresser in America. | 手机、笔记本和每一个美发师都播这个新闻。 |
| [20:14] | – Dan, you get the press ready. – Yeah. | – Dan，让记者准备好。 – 嗯。 |
| [20:16] | Well, I’m glad you raised that issue, Madam Vice President. | 嗯，很高兴你提出这个话题，副总统女士。 |
| [20:19] | I’ve got something very important | 我有件很重要的事 |
| [20:21] | I would like to share with the American people. | 想与美国人民分享。 |
| [20:24] | I just wanna be honest. | 我只想开诚布公。 |
| [20:27] | Many years ago, I had a brief affair. | 多年以前，我有过一次短暂的外遇。 |
| [20:31] | – I deeply regret it. – He’s confessing? | – 对此我十分后悔。 – 他坦白了？ |
| [20:34] | Crap. | 完蛋。 |
| [20:36] | If there’s any dirty trick that I cannot stand, it is honesty. | 我唯一受不了的肮脏手段就是坦白。 |
| [20:39] | …and support of my amazing wife, Chrissy. | 还有我伟大的妻子Chrissy的支持。 |
| [20:42] | We got out the other side stronger than ever. | 我们渡过了难关，关系从未如此牢固。 |
| [20:45] | Strong enough for me to tell you this, America. | 如此牢固，我可以这样告诉你，美国。 |
| [20:48] | If you can forgive me, | 如果你们原谅我， |
| [20:50] | then you can vote for me. | 你们才可以给我投票。 |
| [20:52] | My amazing wife Chrissy, ladies and gentlemen. | 我伟大的妻子Chrissy，女士们先生们。 |
| [20:54] | There she is, my darlin’. There she is. | 就在那儿，我亲爱的。就在那儿。 |
| [20:59] | I hate confessions, unless they’ve been beaten out of someone. | 我讨厌坦白，除非是屈打成招。 |
| [21:03] | Thornhill just ran the Thornhill story, | Thornhill刚自己播了Thornhill的新闻。 |
| [21:05] | which makes my Thornhill story useless. | 我的Thornhill新闻白搭了。 |
| [21:07] | So now you have to tell me about FLOTUS. | 现在你必须告诉我第一夫人的故事。 |
| [21:09] | I can’t tell you about FLOTUS. FLOTUS is a no-go-tus. | 我不能。第一夫人绝不能说。 |
| [21:12] | Then I can run the story on Ray. | 那我就写Ray的事了。 |
| [21:13] | I can’t let you run the story about Ray. | 我不能让你写Ray的事。 |
| [21:15] | But I love you. Does that make everything better? | 但是我爱你。是不是一切都好点了？ |
| [21:17] | This is what our marriage is gonna be? This? | 我们的婚姻要变成这样？这样？ |
| [21:20] | It doesn’t have to be. Wait, what are we talking about? | 不一定要这样。等等，我们在说什么？ |
| [21:24] | There’s always gonna be a conflict of interest. | 永远会有利益冲突。 |
| [21:27] | But that’s what marriage is– a conflict of interests. | 但婚姻就是这样――利益冲突。 |
| [21:29] | No. Marriage is being able to tell each other everything | 不。婚姻意味着彼此无话不谈， |
| [21:32] | – and finding– – Are you guys fighting? Please don’t fight. | – 找到―― – 你们吵架了？拜托不要吵架。 |
| [21:33] | – Gary, get the hell out of my marriage. – Okay, got it. | – Gary，别插手我的婚姻。 – 好了，明白。 |
| [21:36] | Mike, I’m really nervous about all these haircut questions. | Mike，我真的很担心这些发型的问题。 |
| [21:38] | – Nobody cares. – Yeah, okay. | – 没人在意的。 – 哦，好吧。 |
| [21:40] | We have 11 million illegal immigrants | 目前美国生活着 |
| [21:43] | currently living in the U.S. today. | 1100万非法移民。 |
| [21:45] | What do we do about them? Madam Vice President? | 我们有何对策，副总统女士？ |
| [21:48] | I have a very clear strategy | 我的策略十分明确， |
| [21:51] | that I would like to share with everybody today. | 今天就与大家分享。 |
| [21:55] | I call it my “three Rs.” | 我称之为三个R。 |
| [21:58] | It’s time for the “three Rs.” | 轮到三个R了。 |
| [22:00] | They’re solid as a rock, rock, rock. | 就像三块巨石一样有劲。 |
| [22:02] | Number one– we need to reform. | 第一――我们要改革。 |
| [22:05] | But we can’t do it without bipartisan support. | 但改革必须依靠两党合作。 |
| [22:09] | And that is something that I am confident, | 凭借我的经验，我有自信 |
| [22:11] | with my experience, I can absolutely secure. | 实现两党合作。 |
| [22:15] | Number two– we need to reaffirm. | 第二――我们要重申。 |
| [22:20] | We need to reaffirm our commitment | 我们要重申对有技能的 |
| [22:22] | to highly skilled, legal immigrant workers. | 合法移民工作者的承诺。 |
| [22:27] | Number three– the… | 第三―― |
| [22:29] | the third R. | 第三个R。 |
| [22:32] | Um… uh… | |
| [22:35] | Renew, renew. The third R is “renew.” | 创新，创新，第三个是创新。 |
| [22:37] | She forgot the third R. | 她忘了第三个R。 |
| [22:39] | The third R is– | 第三个R是―― |
| [22:40] | actually, in fact, let me go back to “reaffirm,” | 嗯，实际上，我们先回到“重申”， |
| [22:43] | which was number two. | 第二个R。 |
| [22:45] | Do we have any snipers? Can we take her out? | 我们有没有狙击手？能把她灭了吗？ |
| [22:46] | You got a gun? I’ll do it. | 你有枪吗？让我来。 |
| [22:48] | …immigrants whose descendants, of course, run companies. | ……这些移民的后代，当然，开公司。 |
| [22:52] | Successful companies like Clovis in Silicon Valley, | 像硅谷的Clovis那样成功的公司。 |
| [22:55] | where I had the good fortune to visit earlier this year. | 今天早些时候我有幸造访了Clovis。 |
| [22:57] | – Madam Vice President? – Yes? | – 副总统女士？ – 嗯？ |
| [22:59] | – Your time is nearly up. – Oh, dear. | – 你的时间快到了。 – 哦，天哪。 |
| [23:01] | You mentioned a third R? | 你提到了第三个R？ |
| [23:02] | Thank you so much, Andrea. | 十分感谢，Andrea。 |
| [23:04] | And I’m absolutely gonna get to that. | 我一定会讲到那个。 |
| [23:07] | Jesus, that is a wicked twitch. | 老天，刚才抽得够狠。 |
| [23:08] | – I can’t watch this. – Neither can she, | – 我看不下去了。- 她也是。 |
| [23:10] | ’cause her fuckin’ eyes don’t work. | 因为她的眼睛他妈的有毛病了。 |
| [23:12] | It is… “repel.” | 是……驱逐。 |
| [23:15] | That’s right. | 对。 |
| [23:17] | “Repel”? Why did she say “repel”? | 驱逐？她说驱逐？ |
| [23:18] | What is it, “Talk Like A Pirate Day”? | 怎么回事，今天是“学海盗讲话日”吗？ |
| [23:20] | I mean we need to repel unwanted immigration. | 我主张驱逐不需要的移民者。 |
| [23:24] | We need to repel criminals, | 我们应当驱逐罪犯， |
| [23:27] | we need to repel obesity, | 驱逐肥胖， |
| [23:28] | we need to repel torturers. | 驱逐虐囚者。 |
| [23:31] | I think I’ve endorsed a Nazi. | 我看我支持了一个纳粹。 |
| [23:33] | That would explain the Hitler haircut. | 这个希特勒的发型倒是说得通了。 |
| [23:34] | We need to repel the enemies of America. | 我们应当驱逐美国的敌人。 |
| [23:38] | Thank you. | 谢谢。 |
| [23:44] | Maybe I should have gone with two Rs. | 也许我应该用两个R了事。 |
| [23:46] | Hey, I got three Fs for ya– | 嘿，我有两个蛋送给你―― |
| [23:47] | you’re fucked, you fuckin’ fucker. | 你完蛋了，你个操蛋玩意儿。 |
| [23:50] | Holy crapcakes! They’re loving her. | 哎哟我日！他们爱死她了。 |
| [23:53] | I know. It seems every time she says “repel,” | 我知道，好像她每说一次驱逐， |
| [23:55] | she attracts more voters. | 就吸引来更多的选民。 |
| [23:57] | We have a question now from a member of our audience, | 有一位观众提问， |
| [24:00] | Angela Rodriguez. | |
| [24:02] | My mom lost her house | 因为银行拒绝降低利率， |
| [24:03] | because the banks refused to lower the rates. | 我妈妈的房子被收走了。 |
| [24:05] | My dad passed away and she had to pay | 我爸爸去世了，她只能 |
| [24:07] | for the mortgage out of her savings. | 用积蓄来付按揭。 |
| [24:09] | – What’s he doing? – Now, my mother lost her house. | – 他在干吗？ – 现在，我妈妈失去了房子。 |
| [24:12] | No, don’t look at the twitch. Focus on the “dead dad lady.” | 不，别看抽筋。注意力集中到死爹女士身上。 |
| [24:16] | – Secretary Maddox? – Hmm? | – Maddox部长。 – 嗯？ |
| [24:19] | Oh, uh… yeah. I’m very sorry to hear | 哦，呃……对。 |
| [24:22] | about what happened to your mom, and… | 听到你妈妈的经历我很抱歉…… |
| [24:26] | I don’t think we should be penalizing | 我认为不该处罚 |
| [24:28] | any hardworking Americans. | 任何努力工作的美国人。 |
| [24:32] | But here’s the thing, Andrea. | 但问题在这儿，Andrea。 |
| [24:34] | – Angela. – It is– huh? | – Angela。 – 啊？ |
| [24:36] | Angela. My name is Angela. | Angela。我的名字是Angela。 |
| [24:37] | Angela. Right, right, right. | Angela。对对对。 |
| [24:39] | There are some loopholes. | 问题是存在漏洞。 |
| [24:41] | What we need to do | 我们要做的 |
| [24:43] | is to find those loopholes | 是找出漏洞， |
| [24:46] | and find out… | 并且确认 |
| [24:48] | whether– are they loopholes | 是否――他们是漏洞 |
| [24:50] | or are they legitimate holes? | 还是合理的洞？ |
| [24:53] | What the hell is a legitimate hole? | 合理的洞是什么鬼东西？ |
| [24:56] | Well, don’t get me started. | 嗯，还是别让我开话匣了。 |
| [24:58] | That’s the question that we should be asking ourselves. | 这才是我们该问自己的问题。 |
| [25:02] | – If I may–? – Please be brief, Congressman. | – 我可以说吗？ – 请简短一些，议员。 |
| [25:04] | With absolute– with regard to holes, | 我绝对――我尊重洞， |
| [25:06] | and not withstanding the humor that was poked at me earlier, | 也接受之前针对我的幽默发言， |
| [25:09] | and I’m certainly a fan of humor– | 我喜欢幽默， |
| [25:11] | can’t get by without it– | ――没有幽默可活不了―― |
| [25:12] | but I think the point about holes is well taken | 但我认为洞的话题已经说透了， |
| [25:15] | and sort of circles back to my point | 而且和我之前说的 |
| [25:16] | about plug holes earlier– | 塞子有一定联系―― |
| [25:18] | Well, not– not– not quite. | 嗯，其实――不太有。 |
| [25:19] | But it– we wanna find those holes or the loopholes. | 但是――我们得找出这些洞，或者说漏洞。 |
| [25:23] | Just stop saying “hole.” | 快别说洞了。 |
| [25:26] | It’s not that bad. | 也没有那么糟。 |
| [25:27] | No, as a “hole,” it’s not that bad. | 不，作为一个洞（整体whole），没有那么糟。 |
| [25:30] | But we wanna stay above the hole. | 但我们要置身于洞之上。 |
| [25:32] | We don’t wanna go down the hole. | 我们不能扎进洞里。 |
| [25:34] | He’s gonna disappear up his own “hole” hole. | 他要被自己“洞”的洞吞没啦。 |
| [25:36] | If I get your vote, | 如果你们给我投票， |
| [25:38] | you won’t go down that hole. | 你们就不会扎进洞里。 |
| [25:40] | I wanna bring everybody above the hole. | 我会带领大家置身于洞之上。 |
| [25:43] | We all want to live above the hole. | 我们都希望活在洞上。 |
| [25:47] | That sounds like a slogan, folks. | 真像句口号，伙计们。 |
| [25:50] | And once again, we’d like to express our appreciation | 我们再一次表达 |
| [25:53] | – to each of the candidates. – Thank you. | – 对各位候选人的敬意。 – 谢谢。 |
| [25:58] | Oh, well. You didn’t get | 哦，好吧。你可没 |
| [25:59] | much of a chance to speak, did you? | 什么机会说话，是吧？ |
| [26:01] | No, I didn’t. Remember that third R. | 确实没有。记住第三个R。 |
| [26:03] | Thornhill, 30%. Selina, second, 25. | Thornhill，30%。Selina第二名，25。 |
| [26:07] | Chung, 22, Pierce, 9, Maddox, 8. | |
| [26:11] | Maddox dialed “M” for “Murdered Himself.” | Maddox拨打M去谋杀自己了。 |
| [26:15] | God, look at Pierce. | 天，看看Pierce。 |
| [26:17] | He looks like he just got out of sex prison. | 他看起来像刚从性奴监狱出来。 |
| [26:19] | He’s not gonna cry, is he? | 他不会哭吧？ |
| [26:21] | Now Maddox’s daughter is gonna give him the bad news. | 现在Maddox的女儿要告诉他坏消息。 |
| [26:24] | “Daddy, you fuckin’ blew it!” | “爹地，你今天可吃屎啦！” |
| [26:26] | “Daddy, I’ve never been less proud of you.” | “爹地，我从未如此以你为耻。” |
| [26:29] | Well, thank God for Twitchy. He really saved us. | 嗯，谢谢抽抽。他救了我们一命。 |
| [26:31] | I love that little guy. | 我喜欢那个小个子。 |
| [26:33] | Now he’s got to convince everyone the three Rs don’t stand | 现在他得说服大家三个R |
| [26:35] | for “racist,” “right wing,” and “racist.” | 不是种族歧视、右翼和种族歧视了。 |
| [26:37] | Aw, shit! I’m gonna get so many questions about this hair. | 啊完蛋！一大波发型问题要来了。 |
| [26:40] | I can give you a ton of lines for this. | 我会教你一堆台词的。 |
| [26:43] | Yeah, okay. That’s not reassuring. | 嗯，好吧。这没有让我安心。 |
| [26:45] | Hey, Dan. Dan. | |
| [26:48] | I just want to say I’m sorry if I wasn’t very sympathetic | 我想说，对你的，你知道， |
| [26:51] | to your, you know, mental head issues. | 精神毛病，我不够有同情心。 |
| [26:52] | So… I’m sorry. Friends? | 所以……对不起。还是朋友？ |
| [26:58] | Go fuck yourself, “Jack and the Giant Freakstalk.” | 玩蛋儿去吧，大嘴巨怪。 |
| [27:01] | Your team lost, and you should be fitted with a leper bell, | 你的团队输了，你应该戴上麻风警示铃， |
| [27:03] | you sinking shit. | 你个完蛋玩意。 |
| [27:08] | Yeah, okay. | |
| [27:10] | Boy, I do not know what I saw in you. | 天，我不知道我看上你什么。 |
| [27:12] | I do. He’s a less talented ugly version of me. | 我知道。他是无能丑版的我。 |
| [27:15] | He’s basically a human comfort blanket. | 基本上他就是个人肉安慰毯。 |
| [27:19] | Remember when I came up with “short hair for the long haul”? | 还记得我想出“短头发，长眼界”吗？ |
| [27:22] | When? What? No. | 什么时候？啥？不记得了。 |
| [27:24] | Cheer up. Coming in second is good. | 放轻松，第二名不错。 |
| [27:26] | It’s especially true with opening debates. | 首场辩论尤其如此。 |
| [27:28] | – Also with fucking. – It’s not enough. We have to win. | – 打炮也是。 – 还不够。我们必须赢。 |
| [27:30] | And if you can’t stand the heat, buy asbestos panties. | 如果你受不了高速运转，买条防火短裤吧。 |
| [27:33] | See, now that’s the kind of talk that gets me turned on. | 看看，这样说才像话，让我性奋不已。 |
| [27:35] | We’re gonna have another twitch to deal with here. | 有另一个身体部位发生抽抽了哦。 |
| [27:37] | I wouldn’t say “repel” is a strong word. | 我认为驱逐不算强硬用词。 |
| [27:40] | It can mean also “to push away gently with respect.” | 它可以意指“带有敬意地温和地推开”。 |
| [27:45] | I was pretty disappointed in Governor Chung’s performance, | 我对Chung州长的表现较为失望， |
| [27:47] | but I did learn that he used to be a soldier. | 但我确实知道了他曾经当兵的事。 |
| [27:50] | Learned that several times. | 第若干次知道了。 |
| [27:52] | Mike, I haven’t gotten any questions about her hair. | Mike，没有人问她的发型。 |
| [27:55] | Thank fuckin’ God. | 真他妈感谢上帝。 |
| [27:59] | Well, the… | 呃， |
| [28:01] | the hole is the hole. | 洞就是洞。 |
| [28:03] | And the hole is the hole that people fall into. | 洞就是人掉进去的那个洞。 |
| [28:05] | And if they fall below the line, they will fall into the hole. | 如果跌到水平线以下，人就会掉进洞里。 |
| [28:08] | And we want to keep them from falling below the line | 我们要防止他们跌到线下， |
| [28:11] | and then into the hole… or off the map. | 然后掉进洞里……或者掉出国家。 |
| [28:13] | Because if they’re in the hole, how are you gonna get out? | 因为如果掉进洞里，还怎么出来？ |