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副总统(Veep)第6季第9集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 副总统(Veep)第6季第9集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
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S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
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S03E06
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S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S07E01
S07E02
S07E03
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S07E05
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S07E07
时间 英文 中文
[00:09] You know how much I love the size of your jet, 你知道我有多爱你的小喷气飞机
[00:12] and– oh, my God, what? 还有… 我的天 这是什么?
[00:14] What is this weather? 这是什么天气?
[00:15] Why doesn’t everybody just go to St. Bart’s? 为什么大家不都去圣巴特岛呢?
[00:16] I miss it already. It was so romantic. 我已经开始想念那儿了 那儿太浪漫了
[00:18] Just the two of us. 就只有我们两个人
[00:21] – And Gary. – So passionate. – 还有盖瑞 – 真激情四射呀
[00:24] It’s just what I needed, you know? 这就是我要的 你知道吗?
[00:25] That ocean air and the crystal blue water. 湿润的空气和闪晶晶的蓝色海水
[00:27] Oh, and not to mention the topless beach. 更别提那裸体海滩了
[00:29] I didn’t see anything. 我可什么都没看见
[00:30] – Next time, I wanna stay longer. – Hello, ma’am. – 下一次我想待更久一点 – 你好 女士
[00:33] – Hello, Marjorie. – I’m sorry to be so hysterical, – 你好 马乔里 – 很抱歉我情绪这么激动
[00:35] – but we have a situation. – What are you talking about? – 但是我们有个麻烦 – 你指什么?
[00:37] Catherine’s on bed rest. 凯瑟琳卧病在床了
[00:38] She’s been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. 她被诊断出了子宫颈内口松弛症
[00:40] Well, why should her 为什么她的子宫颈
[00:41] cervix be any different than the rest of her? 要和她身体其他部位不一样呢?
[00:42] Hi, Mom. Hi, Jaffar. 嗨 妈妈 嗨 贾法尔
[00:44] Before you even ask, we have taken a break from sex, 在你问之前 我得告诉你 我们已经暂停性交
[00:47] specifically penetrative sex. 特别是插入式性交了
[00:48] – She has a penis? – I don’t know. – 她有个小弟弟吗? – 我不知道
[00:50] Honey, what are you doing here? 亲爱的 你在这里做什么?
[00:52] Well, yeah, I’m on bed rest 我在卧床休息
[00:53] so that the stitches don’t get ripped out of my cervix. 这样躺着 子宫颈缝合的伤口就不会裂开了
[00:56] Oh, my gosh. 我的天啦
[00:57] Well, this isn’t bed rest, this is couch rest. 这不是卧床休息 这是卧沙发上休息
[01:00] Did you put a towel or anything underneath her? 你在她身下放了毛巾什么的吗?
[01:03] Because, girls, this is imported French linen. 姑娘们 这可是进口的法国亚麻
[01:05] – Maybe a waterproof tarp. – Yes, actually, – 放块防水布也行 – 是的 没错
[01:08] or even a garbage bag, you know, in case she leaks. 放个垃圾袋都行 以防她那里泄露
[01:10] – Special delivery! Advance copies. – Really?! – 特快专递! 先行样书 – 真的吗?!
[01:12] – My book, my book, my book! – Fresh off the presses. – 我的书 我的书 我的书! – 新鲜出厂
[01:14] – Finally getting paid. – Well, we’ll see. – 终于要拿工资了 – 看看再说
[01:17] No! 不是吧!
[01:19] – Look how pretty! – Oh, the prettiest! – 看我多漂亮呀! – 你是最漂亮的!
[01:21] “A Woman First: First Woman.” 《第一位女总统: 第一女士》
[01:23] You could get murdered in 如果你在我们国家说这种话
[01:24] my country for saying something like that. 你会被杀掉的
[01:25] – It’s a bit of a pun. – No, it’s not. – 这有点双关语的意思 – 不 这没有
[01:27] There’s a typo on the first page. 第一页有个打印错误
[01:28] – What? – The first sentence. – 什么? – 第一句
[01:29] “From the moment I entered the the White House.” “从我踏入这这白宫的那一刻起”
[01:32] – Is that a pun? – Well, that’s on you, Amy, – 这是个双关语吗? – 这可是你的问题 艾米
[01:33] because you were in charge of the book. 因为负责这本书可是你
[01:35] – That’s copy editing. – Congratulations again, Amy. – 那是审稿的问题吧 – 再次祝贺你 艾米
[01:36] Richard! So glad to see you. I missed you. 理查德! 很高兴见到你 我好想你
[01:39] Ah, welcome back, ma’am. Also, Ambassador, ahlan wa sahlan. 欢迎回来 女士 还有 大使 欢迎您
[01:45] Now that’s a pun! 现在这是个双关语!
[01:46] Ma’am, you are confirmed for tomorrow night 夫人 你确认参加明晚的 《今夜秀》
[01:48] for “The Tonight Show” To kick off the book tour. 作为新书签售的第一站了
[01:50] – Yeah. – Which, again, is tomorrow night, – 没错 – 再说一次 是明晚
[01:51] – not tonight, despite the title. – Okay. – 不是今晚 尽管名字是今夜 – 好的
[01:53] And you’re doing the “Today” Show one week from yesterday. 以及 从昨天算起一周后 你要参加《今日》节目。
[01:55] Wow, that smells good. What is that? 哇哦 好香 这是什么?
[01:57] Oh, it’s Catherine’s uterine tea. 这是凯瑟琳的子宫茶
[01:59] Yeah, it’s a broth of red raspberry leaf, 这是一种红莓叶
[02:00] black haw, and false unicorn root. 黑山楂和黄地百合煮成的
[02:02] I hope that’s going in your mouth. 希望你是喝下去
[02:04] Whatever happened to half a 以前的半瓶红酒 三支香烟
[02:05] bottle of red wine and three Virginia Slims? 现在怎么不管用了
[02:07] Ma’am, the producer of “The 女士 《今夜秀》的制作人
[02:08] Tonight Show” Thought it would be fun if– 觉得这样会比较有趣 希望你能…
[02:10] No, you know what? Nothing’s fun on that show. 不 你知道吗? 那个秀是不会有趣的
[02:11] I need to go and unpack. 我得去打开行李收拾东西了
[02:13] – Good night, ma’am. – What? I’m not on bed rest. – 晚安 夫人 – 什么? 我不是要卧床休息
[02:16] – My cervix is as tight as a snare drum. – Oh, yes, it is. – 我的子宫颈像小军鼓一样紧 – 是的 没错
[02:19] I’m not mentioned in this book until page 134. 我直到第134页才出现在这本书里面
[02:22] I once dry-shaved that woman’s legs 有一次内阁会议 我躲在
[02:25] under her desk during a cabinet meeting. 她的桌子下面帮她刮了腿毛
[02:26] Yeah, I’m not in there till 213, and I wrote the book. 是啊 我直到第213页才出现呢 这还是我写的书
[02:29] Ooh, page 93, suckers! 第93页 傻帽们!
[02:32] “As Gary poured my tea, I realized the hostages…” “当盖瑞给我倒茶的时候 我意识到这些人质…”
[02:36] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 布拉布拉布拉
[02:37] – Oh, yes! – How about you, Richard? – 棒呆! – 你呢 理查德?
[02:39] – Did you make the book? – Just the dedication. – 你出现在书里了吗? – 只在献辞里出现了
[02:41] 众议院佳能大厦 新罕布什尔州议员乔纳·瑞安办公室
[02:41] Congressman, I put up all your flyers. 议员 我贴完了你的所有传单
[02:43] Ooh, hey, fantastic– 太赞了…
[02:45] Oh, God damn it, this office sucks my nard! 该死 这办公室跟我过不去了!
[02:47] A punishment from Congressman 这是来自议员弗朗
[02:48] Furlong and the speaker and the president. 和议长还有总统的惩罚
[02:50] An astonishing bipartisan agreement. 惊人的两党协议
[02:53] Some interesting reading arrived. 来了一些有趣的读物
[02:55] – No such thing. – Well, President Meyer’s book. – 没什么读物是有趣的 – 梅耶总统的书
[02:57] – Take a look. – All right, let’s see if I’m in here. – 看看吧 – 好吧 看看我在不在里面
[03:00] – Jordan, jobs… – Try Ryan. – 约旦 工作… – 试试瑞安
[03:03] I know, Kent. I was looking up jobs 我知道 肯特 我在找工作
[03:04] because they’re important to the American people. 因为这对美国人民很重要
[03:06] – R-Y-A… – I know how to spell my last name, Kent. – R-Y-A… – 我知道怎么拼自己的姓 肯特
[03:12] Are you fucking kidding? I’m not in here. 你他妈在逗我吗? 我不在里面
[03:14] I ruined her administration, like, four times. 我毁了她管理的政府那么多次
[03:16] You’d think that’d count for something. 你会觉得那至少是有点意义的
[03:17] – Are you in here? – 12 mentions. Adequate. – 你被提到了吗? – 十二次 不少了
[03:20] Jonah, I just saw the latest polls. 乔纳 我刚刚看了最新的民意调查
[03:22] The shutdown really hurt you in Massachusetts’ anus. 政府停摆真的给你在马萨诸塞州的肛门造成挺大伤害的
[03:24] AKA New Hampshire. 也就是 新罕布什尔州
[03:26] You’re only up by five points 在你和行政委员迪·范桑特兹竞选中
[03:28] in your reelection against Selectman Di Vicentis 你只领先五个点的支持率
[03:29] when you should be up by 20 points. 然而你本该领先20个点
[03:31] Whoa, I’m only up five on Skeevy Deevy? 喔噢 我只比斯奇维·迪维高了五个点
[03:33] I went to summer camp with that dude 我和那个家伙一起去过夏令营
[03:34] and he was too afraid to get changed in front of the other boys. 他当时还不敢在其他男孩面前换衣服
[03:37] – I thought that was you. – No, I’m pretty sure it was him. – 我认为那是你 – 不 我很确定那是他
[03:40] – It was you. – How do you know, – 是你 – 你怎么知道
[03:41] Kent? Were you at that summer camp? 肯特? 你也在那个夏令营吗?
[03:43] – Ah, there he is. – Oh, hello, sir. – 他来了 – 先生您好
[03:45] – God! – Jonah, my boy, I’ve come to say farewell. – 天啊! – 乔纳 我是来道别的
[03:47] I’m pulling all my financial support– 我要抽走我所有的经济支持…
[03:49] the PACs, the reelection committees, everything. 政治行动委员会 连任委员会 所有一切
[03:51] I suppose I should’ve 我想雇一些暴徒
[03:51] hired some goons to kick the shit out of you, 把你暴揍一顿
[03:54] but you’re dating my daughter, so. 但是我女儿还在和你约会 所以
[03:55] – Dad. – I know I’ve had some setbacks– – 爸 – 我知道我有一些挫折…
[03:57] No, no, don’t take it so hard! 不 不 别想得太严重!
[03:58] Come on, Shawnee, let’s boogie. 来吧 肖妮 我们去跳舞
[04:00] No, you don’t tell me what to do. 不 不用你来告诉我该怎么做
[04:01] I’m not one of your precious inmates. 我不是你宝贵的囚徒
[04:03] – I’m staying with Jonah. – You are? – 我要留下来陪乔纳 – 真的吗?
[04:05] – Are you pregnant? – No, I’m not pregnant. – 你怀孕了? – 没有 我没怀孕
[04:08] – Oh, thank God. – I thought we’d wait till we bought a house. – 谢天谢地 – 我觉得 得等到买了房子之后再考虑
[04:11] If you stay with him, you’re cut off. 如果你要和他在一起 我也不给你钱了
[04:13] – Okay. – If you change your mind before dinner, – 好的 – 如果你在晚饭前改变想法的话
[04:15] we’re having Peking Gourmet. 记得去中餐馆找我
[04:17] I’m not coming, but order me some slippery shrimp just in case. 我不会去的 不过以防万一 帮我点一些虾滑
[04:21] Babe, did you give up your inheritance for me? 宝贝 你为我放弃了继承遗产?
[04:23] Are you out of your fucking mind? I still have my trust. 你疯了吗? 我还有我的信托基金
[04:25] – Oh, money! – We’re moving the wedding up. – 有钱了! – 我们得提前婚礼
[04:27] Just as soon as you finish your conversion. 一等你结束了转变 就结婚
[04:31] – Mazel tov. – Oh, thanks, Kent. – 恭喜 – 谢谢 肯特
[04:32] God– motherfucker! 天… 狗娘养的!
[04:36] Okay, I’m gonna get you a bike helmet. 好吧 我去给你买一个自行车头盔
[04:38] I don’t need a bike helmet! 我不需要自行车头盔!
[04:41] God damn it, ow! 该死! 嗷!
[04:43] As you may have heard, today marks my departure 也许你听说了 从今天开始我将离开
[04:46] from the “CBS Morning Show with Dan Egan.” 《CBS 丹·伊艮的晨间秀》
[04:48] But you’ll still be able to find me weekly 但是你仍然能每周
[04:50] on our CBS digital platforms. 在CBS的电子平台上见到我
[04:52] – Podcast. – What? – 播客 – 什么?
[04:54] Well, most importantly, I hope that you’ve cherished… 好吧 最重要的是 我喜欢你会珍惜…
[04:56] – our time together. – I’m– I’m sorry, Danny. – 我们共度的时光 -对… 对不起 丹尼
[04:58] Stevie says we’ve gotta wrap it up. 史蒂维说我们得结束了
[05:02] Okay, well, then to Brie. 好吧 那我要对布瑞说
[05:05] Thank you, Brie, you know, for everything that we’ve shared, 谢谢你 布瑞 你知道 为了镜头前后
[05:08] both on and off camera. 我们分享的所有事情
[05:11] And to Jane, incredible. Absolutely incredible. 致简 难以置信 简直难以置信
[05:15] I mean, you’ve been with this network for how many decades now? 你已经在这家电视台待了几十年了?
[05:17] I mean, Jane– I will always remember 我是说 简… 我会永远记得
[05:20] Jane covering the moon landing. 简报道了登月
[05:22] I mean, I studied that footage. 我研究过那段录像
[05:24] – That beautiful black and white stuff. – Before me. – 那绝美的黑白影像 – 在我之前
[05:25] – It was just fantast– well, regardless… – Danny boy. – 那太精彩了…无论如何 – 小丹尼
[05:28] – …Jane, you are historic. – Thank you. – …简 你堪称经典 – 谢谢你
[05:31] Be sure to join us starting tomorrow 请一定要观看我们明天开始的
[05:33] for “CBS This Morning with Jane and Brie.” “《CBS 与简和布瑞一起看今朝》
[05:37] Girl power. 女性力量
[05:38] – We’ll see– – We’ll see you in the tomorrow. – 我们再… – 我们明天再见
[05:42] And we’re clear. Great job, everybody. Good job, Jane. 结束了 做得好 大伙儿 做得好 简
[05:45] Okay, well, what do you say we let bygones be bygones 你觉得我们让过去的事过去怎么样
[05:47] – and have some goodbye cake? – I told them you didn’t want cake. – 然后吃点告别蛋糕? – 我告诉他们你不想要蛋糕
[05:51] Oh, my God, I love this! 我的天 我爱这个!
[05:53] They started demo at Mee-Maw’s for the birthplace and library, 他们开始拆外婆的房子了 准备建诞生地图书馆
[05:57] and the contractor sent me this video link. 承包商刚刚把视频链接发给了我
[05:58] Look at this. I could watch this all day. 看看这个 我能看一整天
[06:01] – What? – Nothing. – 什么? – 没什么
[06:02] Catherine, I can’t repeat myself 凯瑟琳 我不能为了娱乐你
[06:03] every five seconds for your amusement. 每隔五分钟重复一次我说过的话
[06:05] – Isn’t that good? – Ooh, “Tonight Show” Dresses. – 这是不是很棒? – 《今夜秀》的裙子到了
[06:07] – Look how pretty. – You think it’s too low-cut? – 多漂亮呀 – 你觉得这个是不是太低胸了?
[06:10] – Yeah. – Yeah. – 是的 – 好吧
[06:11] Ma’am, I’m leaving. Take good care of Catherine. 夫人 我要走了 请照顾好凯瑟琳
[06:14] – Who is she talking to? – I don’t know. – 她在和谁说话? – 我不知道
[06:16] – Ma’am, um… – Ahem, yeah? – 女士 恩… – 怎么了
[06:18] …the “Washington Post” …《华盛顿邮报》
[06:19] is running an exposé on your term in office. 曝光你任期内的事情
[06:23] – Is it bad? – Can I have a drink? I feel a little dehydrated. – 这是坏事吗? – 我能喝点水吗? 我觉得我有点脱水
[06:26] It’s kind of like the wave in “The Perfect Storm,” 这有点像《完美风暴》里的巨浪
[06:29] except in this case, the wave is made out of shit 只不过我们的巨浪是用翔做的
[06:33] and our boat is also made out of shit. 我们的船也是用翔做的
[06:35] It’s Leon West. 是利昂·韦斯特
[06:37] Fuck. 靠
[06:38] What does it say? 说了什么?
[06:40] “Ignoring the advice of experienced staffers, “无视经验丰富的员工的建议
[06:42] Meyer instead sought the counsel of a high school drop-out, 梅耶转而寻求一位高中辍学者的建议
[06:45] her personal trainer and lover, Ray Whelan.” 她的私人教练和情人 雷·惠兰”
[06:47] He had a GED, guys. 他有普通教育水平证书的
[06:49] Oh, my God, they’re talking about my eye job? 我的天 他们还谈论我的眼部手术?
[06:52] Chinese cover-up over the tweet. 中国封锁了这条推文
[06:53] This isn’t an article, 这不是一篇文章
[06:55] this is a gang bang on a pinball machine! 这是一个玩弹球机的黑帮!
[06:58] Who despises me like this?! 谁这么鄙视我?!
[07:00] Well, there’s President Montez, Tom James… 有蒙特兹总统 汤姆·詹姆斯…
[07:02] The White House maids, the steward. 白宫的女佣 管家
[07:04] – White working class voters. – Nobody! – 工人阶层白人选民 – 怎么会呢!
[07:07] – Everybody loves you! – Shut up! – 每个人都喜欢你! – 闭嘴!
[07:09] Can somebody carry me to the bathroom? 有人能抱我去趟洗手间吗?
[07:11] Ma’am, there’s a remote possibility… 夫人 这里有个极小的可能性…
[07:14] a while back, I was working 不久之前 我在这个
[07:15] on this humor column… – No, don’t, Mike. 幽默专栏上写稿 -不是吧 迈克
[07:17] – Leon West has Mike’s diary! – Amy, you promised! – 利昂韦斯特有迈克的日记! – 艾米 你答应过我的!
[07:20] What? What, Mike? 什么? 什么鬼 迈克?
[07:23] What have you and your 47 tangled chromosomes done?! 你和你的21三体综合征做了什么?
[07:27] I’m sorry. I’m sorry, ma’am. 对不起 我对不起你 夫人
[07:29] I should’ve gotten a diary with a little lock on it, 我应该在我的日记上加把锁的
[07:31] but I didn’t wanna lock myself out. 但我不能禁锢我自己
[07:33] – How long have you known about this? – Since Alabama. – 你知道多长时间了? -自从在阿拉巴马州就知道了
[07:35] But to be fair, we thought we were on top of it. 不过说实话 我们认为我们能够控制住的
[07:37] We did, ma’am. 我们是这样想的 夫人
[07:38] Oh, really? Well, now it’s on top of you, 噢 是吗? 好啊 现在到它来控制你了
[07:40] it’s knocked your teeth out, 把你打个满地找牙
[07:41] and it’s making sweet love to your face! 还要冲着你的脸来做爱!
[07:43] We don’t know my diary is the source. 我们还不确定这是来自我的日记
[07:46] Well, there’s scans of it on the WaPo website. 这是华盛顿邮报网站上的扫描图
[07:48] – Oh, God. – It’s crystal clear. – 噢 天啊 – 太明显了
[07:49] – God, get out of here, – 天啊 滚出去
[07:51] – you great walrus Judas! – I’m gone, I’m gone. – 你这个死蠢害人精! – 我滚 我滚
[07:53] Okay, Amy, you have to call my lawyer right now, 艾米 你现在马上打电话给我的律师
[07:56] my lawyers, the whole firm. 我的律师们 整个律所
[07:57] – All right – we have to call Leon, too. – 好的 – 我们还得打给利昂
[07:59] And, Mike, where the fuck do you think you’re going?! 还有 迈克 你他妈的想要去哪里?!
[08:01] – You need to get in touch with Leon right now. – Yes, ma’am. – 你现在马上和利昂取得联系 – 好的 夫人
[08:03] Ma’am, do you need to sit down? 夫人 你要不要坐下来?
[08:05] I just feel a little woozy, okay? 我就是有点晕 好吧?
[08:07] I’ve got stomach cramps. 我的胃抽筋了
[08:09] what are you drinking? 你在喝什么?
[08:11] This is Catherine’s tea for her underparts. 这是给凯瑟琳下体用的茶
[08:13] – What? – It’s the tea for your underparts! – 什么? – 这是给你下体用的茶!
[08:16] – Oh, my God. – Oh, no, no, no, no, no. – 天啊 – 噢不不不不
[08:22] – What time is “The Tonight Show”? – Call time is 3:30. – 《今夜秀》是几点钟啊? – 约了3点半
[08:24] I’m fine. It’s okay, I’m fine. 我没事 还好 我没事
[08:26] I’m… 我…
[08:30] What’s up, white boys? 怎么样啊 白佬们?
[08:32] Yo, you guys ready to drop that rock? 你们准备好加入战斗了吗?
[08:33] Gellardi, hit me, I’m open. 哲拉蒂 给我球 我接着
[08:34] What are you doing here, Congressman? 议员 你在这干嘛?
[08:36] I started up a basketball 我组了一个篮球队
[08:37] league to endear myself to you assholes. 来加深我们彼此的情谊
[08:38] We have a league. We play here every Tuesday night. 我们有联队了 我们每周星期二都在这里打球
[08:41] You guys can join my league. How about that? 你们可以加入到我的队伍里 怎么样?
[08:42] – We don’t want to. – I don’t give a fuck what you want! – 我们并不想 – 我他妈也没想要你加入!
[08:45] I have your ball, so you have to join my league. 我拿了你们的球 所以你们必须加入到我的队里来
[08:47] I get first pick, and I pick Graves. 我先选 我选格雷福斯
[08:50] Oh, really? Why are you picking me? 是吗 你为什么要选我?
[08:53] Because you’re so tall. 因为你很高
[08:54] – Oh, God. – who the fuck invited Dikembe Mutomtard? – 天啊 – 谁他妈请迪肯贝·穆托姆屎来的?
[08:54] – Oh, God. – who the fuck invited Dikembe Mutomtard? 迪肯贝·穆托姆博:前NBA篮球员 高2.18米 – 天啊 – 谁他妈请迪肯贝·穆托姆屎来的?
[08:58] – Oh, God. – who the fuck invited Dikembe Mutomtard? – 天啊 – 谁他妈请迪肯贝·穆托姆屎来的?
[08:58] A little word of advice, Congressman, don’t wear the shorts. 提个小小的建议 议员 不要穿短裤
[09:00] Even Kobe Bryant wouldn’t rape you in those things. 就连科比·布莱恩也不会强暴你的
[09:03] Oh, lookie here, we got old Jesus 看这里 我们有个骆驼趾老耶稣
[09:06] with a camel toe and his child molester goggles 还带着小时候防性骚扰的护目镜
[09:08] and the headband, of course, 当然啦 还有发带
[09:10] ’cause you don’t want the sweat getting in your eyes 因为你不想在你闷死小弟弟时
[09:12] when you’re choking them out afterwards. 让汗流进你的眼睛里的
[09:13] Congressman Ryan took our ball. 瑞安议员拿走了我们球
[09:14] – Oh, shut up, narc! – You shut up! – 闭嘴吧 打小报告的! – 你才闭嘴呢!
[09:17] All right, Will, take the ball and tell ’em why. 好吧 威尔 把球拿走 然后告诉他们原因
[09:19] Balls are the only thing keeping me from choking on cocks. 球是唯一可以让我不会因为吸大鸟而窒息的东西
[09:22] Without balls, I’d be 没有球 我就会
[09:24] swallowing dicks whole just like Joey Chestnut. 像乔伊·切斯特纳那样吞掉整个鸡巴 乔伊·切斯特纳:美国科尼岛吃热狗大赛八年冠军
[09:27] – I’m sorry, Jonah, but I’m gonna… – 我很抱歉 乔纳 但我还是要…
[09:30] – Foul. Foul. – Doctor says I gotta play 20 minutes every day, – 犯规 犯规 – 医生说我每天只能打20分钟
[09:33] so get the fuck off our court. 所以麻溜儿地滚出我的场子
[09:35] – Ball in. – Let’s go, Congressman. – 开始吧 – 走吧 国会议员
[09:36] Wanna play a game of Horse? 想两人对战吗?
[09:38] Yes, I would like that very much. 可以啊 我很乐意
[09:42] – Boom goes the dynamite. – You’re fired. – 球进了 – 你被解雇了
[09:45] Yes! 太好了!
[09:49] Ma’am, “The Tonight Show” Is ripshit because you canceled. 夫人 《今夜秀》因为你取消了已经气疯了
[09:52] I just got a lecture from a 我刚刚拿到一份来自
[09:53] 22-year-old piss twat with a SUNY Binghamton degree 纽约州立大学宾厄姆顿学位22岁臭丫头的讲稿
[09:57] who says that she thinks that you chickened out 她说她认为你临阵脱逃
[09:58] because of the “Post” Article. 是因为邮报的文章
[10:00] Just call her back and rebook the whole thing. 那就打电话给她重新预约
[10:02] – No, you have… – Okay, look, – 不行 你要… – 好吧 听着
[10:03] this is all about damage control, Amy. 这关乎损害控制 艾米
[10:05] My presidency just got 我的总统生涯刚刚经历
[10:06] caught with a tranny hooker on Sunset Boulevard, 日落大道的妓女问题
[10:10] and I have to make America think 我还要让美国人认为
[10:12] that I was just giving her a ride home. 我只是载她回家而已
[10:14] – Right? Right. – Very smart, ma’am. – 是不? 是吧 – 很明智 夫人
[10:15] Actually, I did write a zinger for “The Tonight Show” About Ray. 其实 我给《今夜秀》写了一句驳斥雷的段子
[10:19] “In sleeping with my trainer, “关于和我的私人教练上床这件事
[10:20] I think you could say I did not exercise good judgment.” 只能说我没有好好锻炼良好的判断力”
[10:24] Okay, I am not gonna say that joke to Johnny. 好吧 我不会和乔尼开这种玩笑
[10:27] – I mean… – Uh, ma’am, Johnny – 我的意思是… – 夫人 乔尼…
[10:29] Ma’am, Leon West is here for your double secret meeting. 夫人 利昂·韦斯特来和你秘密会面了
[10:32] Okay, you know what? Let’s make him wait. 知道吗 就让他等着吧
[10:35] – Okay. – And maybe give him some of that lesbian cooze potion. – 好的 – 或许你让他喝点女同宫颈茶
[10:39] Okay, I think all we have is Diet Coke in the fridge. 我们冰箱里好像也只有无糖可乐了
[10:41] Okay, they should not be allowed to call that stuff tea. 她们不应该把那东西叫做茶的
[10:43] That’s what I think. 我就是这样想的
[10:45] You know what I think? 你知道我怎么想吗?
[10:46] You sound like the world’s gayest AM radio show. 你听起来像是世界上最基的调频广播节目
[10:49] Now, guys, what is our move with Leon? 伙计们 我们该怎么对付利昂?
[10:53] – Well, he really likes Amy. – Amy who? – 他挺喜欢艾米的 – 那个艾米?
[10:56] Ew! No! 呃! 不!
[10:58] – She’s all over his diary. – 他的日记里全是她
[10:59] – She’s in every page. – You’re kidding me. – 每一页都是她 – 你在开玩笑吧
[11:01] – No! – Amy, Amy. – 不! – 艾米 艾米
[11:03] Come on, nobody’s asking you 听着 没有人要让你
[11:05] to engage in some sort of human pleasurable activity. 做什么愉悦人的活动
[11:08] – I know that’s not your bag. – Okay. – 我知道那不是你的锅 – 好的
[11:10] – So, then what… – But – 那么 然后…- 但是
[11:10] perhaps maybe you could flirt a little with him. 或许可能你可以和他调调情
[11:13] I don’t know if that’s something that you’re actually able to do. 我不知道你是不是真的能做到
[11:15] Yes, of course, I can be very flirtatious. 当然可以 我可以很撩的
[11:20] – Nope. – Ma’am, Leon West – 不会吧 – 夫人 利昂·韦斯特
[11:22] says he knows you’re just making him wait. 说他知道你故意让他等
[11:23] – Okay, just send him in. – Okay. – 好吧 让他进来吧 – 好的
[11:25] One of these days, she’s gonna make that face 总有一天 她摆出那副面孔
[11:26] and that eyeball of hers 然后她的眼球
[11:28] is gonna pop out and shoot across the room. 就会弹出来 飞过整个房间
[11:30] I know it. 我懂的
[11:31] – Leon West, ma’am. – Ah, Leon! – 利昂·韦斯特 夫人 – 利昂!
[11:32] Woodward minus Bernstein plus Propecia. 《华盛顿邮报》记者鲍勃·伍德沃德和卡尔·伯恩斯坦率先披露了水门事件丑闻 没了搭档和头发的伍德沃德
[11:35] This entire conversation is off the record. 这整个对话都是不公开的
[11:37] You are going to retract every word this very nanosecond. 你如果不现在立刻马上收回你的全部报道
[11:42] Otherwise, I’m gonna sue you. 我就要告你
[11:43] I’m curious, you’re gonna sue us for what? 我很好奇 你要告我们什么?
[11:45] Because this is public interest and fair use. 因为这是公共权益和正当使用
[11:48] Oh, I’d love to know how my eye job… 我很想知道我的眼部手术…
[11:50] – Which never happened. – …which never happened, by the way, – 从来没有发生 – 哦对 从来没有发生
[11:52] is in the public interest. 是在公共权益内
[11:53] Now, I’ve got you on the hook 我能告你诽谤
[11:55] for defamation, libel, 告你恶语中伤
[11:57] and, if I remember my law school tort professor correctly, 还有 如果我没记错我法学院侵权的教授的话
[12:02] and I do ’cause I slept with him for two years… 我记得很清楚 因为我睡了他两年
[12:04] – Still off the record. – …invasion of privacy. – 依然不能公开 – …侵犯个人隐私
[12:06] You can go ahead. We’re the “Washington Post” 你随意告 我们可是《华盛顿邮报》
[12:08] and we have been sued by better terrible presidents than you. 我们还被比你更好的糟糕总统告过呢
[12:11] – Name one. – Okay, you know what I want? – 说一个呀 – 好吧 你知道我怎么想吗?
[12:13] I want this room, okay? Everybody out. 我需要空间 好吗? 每个人都出去
[12:16] – Are there any nibbles on that Dave Barry…- Mike! – 戴夫·巴里那里有零食… – 迈克!
[12:20] Get! 出去!
[12:24] What do you want? 你想要什么?
[12:26] I think the Pulitzer I’m going to get from this 因为这个拿下普利策奖
[12:29] is good enough for me, so good evening. 对我来说 足够好了 那么 晚安了
[12:31] – You can have Amy. – Wait, I don’t understand. – 你可以拥有艾米 – 等等 我不是很明白
[12:36] You can have her. 你可以拥有她
[12:40] Probably better from behind, though… 可能从后面来会更好些 毕竟…
[12:42] you know… 你懂的…
[12:48] Good evening. 晚安
[12:50] Yeah, I don’t blame you. 好吧 我不怪你
[12:53] Can you stop blowing on my legs like that? 你能不要再那样吹我的腿吗?
[12:55] – I’m drying the “Glow-tion.” – Don’t use the word “Glow-tion.” – 我在吹干”亮采乳” – 别再用”亮采乳”这个词了
[12:57] – Ma’am. – What is it? – 夫人 – 怎么了?
[12:59] Oh, my God, Amy, you are 我的天啊 艾米
[13:00] making that terrible, terrible news face. 你现在是糟糕到不行的坏消息表情
[13:03] You’re gonna throw your neck out, you know? 你的脖子都快要断了 知道吗?
[13:04] What is it? Is it Leon West? 这是什么? 是利昂·韦斯特吗?
[13:05] – Is it a second diary dump? – Oh, it is beyond a dump. – 又一期日记曝光的狗屎吗? – 不只是狗屎
[13:08] It is a toxic infant blowout 是一个有毒的婴儿大爆发
[13:11] out both diaper legs and up the back of the onesie. 弄脏了尿布小腿还有连体衣后背
[13:13] Did they mention the antique egg that we stole from the Oval? 他们提到我们从总统办公室偷得那个古董彩蛋了吗
[13:16] – You stole it. – It’s got the terrorist drone assassination. – 是你偷的 – 提到了恐怖分子暗杀
[13:19] Well, that sounds bad. 听着挺糟糕的
[13:21] – The DRA guy? – Yeah, and the Chinese. – DRA的那个人? – 是的 还有中国人的事
[13:23] It’s got the soldier whose leg you lost. 还有那个你害他丢了一条腿的士兵
[13:25] Oh, my God, the lost leg. Ooh! 我的天啊 丢了一条腿的士兵
[13:27] Surrounded by Mike’s poorly drawn doodles of legs. 周围还有麦克画的难看的腿
[13:29] – I’m sorry, Mike. – It looks like arms. – 很抱歉 迈克 – 这看起来像手臂
[13:31] I’m better at arms. You should 我更擅长画手臂
[13:32] see the page where I wrote about the arms dealer. 你该看看提到军火商的那页
[13:34] Oh, my God! 我的天啊!
[13:35] The Georgian election is here 格鲁吉亚选举的事也在这
[13:37] and all of that stuff about Murman?! 还有那么多关于摩尔曼的事
[13:39] Why do you work for me, you stupid mustache?! 你为什么在我手底下工作 你这个蠢蛋?!
[13:43] We were telling so many lies, 我们撒了很多谎
[13:44] I had to write them down to keep them straight. 我把他们写下来是为了记清楚真相
[13:45] Any decent lawyer would’ve told me to do that. 任何像样的律师都会告诉我要这样做
[13:47] Ma’am, they’ve got the data breach. 夫人 他们知道数据泄露的事了
[13:50] – No. – They know that you 100% knew – 不 – 他们知道你完全了解
[13:53] about the mining of those 数据挖掘那些死去的孩子
[13:54] dead kids’ social security and medical data. 的社会保险和医疗数据
[13:56] I don’t have a zinger for that one. 我不知道怎么驳斥这件事
[13:59] Well, I could go to jail for that. 我会因为这事坐牢的
[14:01] – No. – Well, I can’t do the show. -不 – 我不能做节目了
[14:03] You guys have to get me out of here. 你们得想办法让我离开这
[14:04] Madam President, we are all so honored to have you on the show. 总统女士 我们很荣幸您能来录制节目
[14:07] I’m Bethany, and I’m gonna go 我是贝瑟尼 我准备
[14:09] over a few rules of “What’s in the Bag?” With you 和你过一下”袋子里是什么”环节的一些规则
[14:10] Okay, look, Tiffany, I am so happy to be here, 听着蒂芬妮 我很开心能来到这里
[14:13] but unfortunately, I’ve just gotten this emergency call… 但不幸的是 我刚刚接到一个紧急电话…
[14:15] – Pregnant daughter. – …from my pregnant daughter… – 女儿怀孕 – …我那怀孕的女儿打来的
[14:17] – The baby is in distress. – …and her baby is in such distress. – 宝宝有危险 – …她的孩子有危险
[14:19] – Is my baby okay? – Come on, guys, we gotta go! – 我的孩子还好吗? – 快点 伙计们 我们开快点走!
[14:21] She’s gonna love these. 她会爱死这个杯子的
[14:23] By the way, what is in the bag? 顺便问一句 袋子里装的是什么?
[14:25] – It’s a copy of the president’s book. – Ha, that’s good. – 是总统的自传 – 那可好极了
[14:28] I was a patsy, but to my knowledge, 我很容易上当受骗 但我知道
[14:30] this is just the tip of the iceberg. 这只是冰山一角
[14:31] These revelations will continue 这些揭露信息会继续
[14:33] to come out in a steady drip, drip, drip… 一点 一点 一点地浮出水面
[14:35] – Balls. – …like the leaky prison faucet – 操蛋 – … 就像我被迫喝掉的
[14:37] I was forced to drink from. 监狱水龙头中一滴一滴流出的水一样
[14:38] Good evening, ma’am. 晚上好 女士
[14:40] – Finally got Catherine down. – I could never get her down. – 终于把凯瑟琳安抚好了 – 我从来没法伺候好她
[14:42] She was always so scared about monsters everywhere, 她对那些无处不在的怪兽总是怕得要死
[14:45] you know, under her bed and behind the curtain and in the closet. 你知道 在她床底下的 窗帘后面的 还有衣柜里的
[14:49] Although, actually, one time, 虽然 实际上 有一次
[14:50] Andrew did hide one of his women in the closet, 安德鲁的确是把他一个情人藏在了柜子里
[14:53] so she had reason to be somewhat alarmed. 所以她总战战兢兢也是有正当理由的
[14:55] – Why don’t I join you in that nightcap? – Uh, Gary? – 要不我陪你睡前喝一杯? – 盖瑞呢?
[14:58] – I think I heard him leave. – What? Oh, right. – 我听见他走了 – 什么? 喔 好吧
[15:02] I don’t think that there are any clean glasses. 好像没有干净杯子了
[15:04] – There’s one here. – Uh-huh, okay. – 这就有一个 – 那好吧
[15:08] You know, ma’am, 您知道吗 女士
[15:09] something I’ve always wanted to tell you. 我一直有些事想跟您说
[15:10] You know what I love most about your daughter? 您知道我最爱您女儿哪一点吗?
[15:12] What’s going on with the foundation? 基金会的事情进行地怎么样了?
[15:15] You know, I was thinking that I might wanna become more involved. 你懂的 我在想 我是不是该更深层地参与进来
[15:18] I could really use the cleansing power of a charity right now. 我现在真的希望慈善机构可以净化净化我
[15:21] Well, it’s been quite a 那个 过去一年梅耶基金
[15:22] year for the Meyer Fund for Adult Literacy, 在成人再教育
[15:24] AIDS, the Advancement of Global Democracy, 艾滋病 促进全球民主
[15:26] Military Family Assistance, and Childhood Obesity. 军人家庭补助以及儿童肥胖症基金上都取得了很大进展
[15:28] – AIDS in particular has had… – Wait, wait, hang on a second. – 尤其是艾滋病方面… – 等等 稍微等一下
[15:30] What is that you just– what was the thing that you just said? 你刚才说… 你刚才是说了句什么?
[15:33] Childhood obesity. You sent 儿童肥胖症 你上个月某天
[15:34] me an email about it last month at 4:00 AM. 凌晨四点的时候给我发了封邮件
[15:36] I forgot. I was looking at Catherine’s baby pictures. 我不记得了 我当时在看凯瑟琳小时候的照片
[15:38] I have to admit I was skeptical about it at first, 我承认我一开始对资助儿童肥胖症持怀疑态度
[15:41] but the more I learned about those kids, 但是随着我对这些儿童的逐渐了解
[15:43] I started to see that the 我开始明白
[15:44] problems are not just physical problems… 肥胖不仅仅是体形的问题…
[15:46] – Yeah. – …that come with obesity– the cancer, the diabetes– – 对 – 与肥胖症相伴的… 癌症 糖尿病…
[15:50] but also the emotional and psychological problems– 还会引发情感和心理问题…
[15:52] – the body dysmorphia… – Yeah. Hey, Jaffar, it’s me. – 身体畸形… – 是吧 嗨 贾法尔 是我
[15:55] …so we started an exciting new program… …所以我们开启了一个新项目 …
[15:57] Can you come and get me? 你能过来接我吗?
[15:59] …we get the kids out 10 minutes a day… … 我们每天带这些孩子出去玩十分钟…
[16:01] – Yeah, in 10 minutes would be good. – It is good. – 对 十分钟以后就好 – 是很好
[16:03] It is. It’s a perfect amount of time for a lot of these kids. 的确如此 对于大部分这样的孩子来说 这段时间刚刚好
[16:06] – Thank you. – You’re welcome. – 谢谢 – 不客气
[16:08] From the moment I have left office, 自从我不再任职总统以来
[16:09] it has been nothing but a giant slalom 这日子过得就像是从屎色国会舔肛山
[16:11] down Mount McRimjob, brown diamond. 俯冲而下的滑雪障碍赛
[16:14] I know, but in my mind, you have nothing to be ashamed of. 我明白 但在我看来 你没有什么需要羞愧的
[16:16] You know, my uncle, he poisoned an entire village with sarin gas. 你知道 我叔叔 他用沙林毒气 毒死了一村子人
[16:19] Ooh, that is worse. 喔 那真是更坏
[16:20] -Thank you very much for that. – Yeah, you’re welcome. – 谢谢你安慰我 – 不客气
[16:22] I just wish we could leave this country forever. 我真希望我们能永远离开这个国家
[16:25] Why don’t we, eni? 为什么不呢?
[16:27] I mean, you’ve got nothing here. 我是说 反正你也无所牵挂
[16:29] – I’ve got Catherine, but, I mean– – Let’s just go. – 我还有凯瑟琳 但是 我是指… – 我们先走吧
[16:30] I’ve got a plane that’s fully fueled always 我有架飞机 一直都加满了油
[16:32] and ready to go at any moment. 能够随时离开
[16:34] Why? Why is your plane always fueled? 为什么? 为什么你的飞机要一直保持燃料充足?
[16:36] Well, you know, in case… 你知道的 以防…
[16:39] Let’s just say that I’ve got some cousins… 就是 我有一些表亲…
[16:41] – Yeah. – …who sometimes get very angry – 嗯 – … 他们有时会对你们
[16:42] at some of your tall buildings. 特别生气你家有摩天大楼(指911)
[16:46] Oh, God, you’re making a joke, right? 我的天 你是在开玩笑的对不对?
[16:48] – Yes. Yes. – Yeah. – 是的 是的 – 好吧
[16:49] Dipshit Mike and his shit-dip diary. 蠢货迈克和他愚蠢的日记
[16:53] “Amy committed perjury today,” 他用蜡笔和芥末污渍写下了
[16:54] written in crayon and mustard stains. “艾米今天作了伪证”
[16:57] – You gonna hire a lawyer? – No, I’m thinking of pleading guilty. – 你要雇一个律师吗? – 不 我在考虑认罪
[17:01] I wouldn’t mind a little time in prison, get away from my wife, 我不介意在监狱里过些日子的 可以逃离我的老婆
[17:03] – spend time with guys who get it. – Yeah, learn a trade. – 跟一些理解我的人住些日子 -对 学门手艺
[17:06] All right, I gotta get up early, 行了 我要早起
[17:08] yammer my case to the morning TV yabbos. 在奶子早间栏目(暗讽CBS今晨现两位主持都是女性)哭诉我的经历
[17:11] – No offense. – Hey, none taken. Former yabbo. – 没有冒犯之意 – 没事 我以前也是那样的
[17:13] – Bye, kids. – What about you? – 再见了 小崽子们 – 那你呢?
[17:14] What’s next for the great Dan Egan? 伟大的丹·伊艮接下来要做什么?
[17:16] – Any job leads? – I thought about teaching high school, – 有工作计划吗? – 我在想要不要去高中教书
[17:18] but, I mean, girls these days just can’t keep a secret. 但是 我意思是 现在这些女孩们可保守不住秘密
[17:20] You see Jane’s up to her old tricks? 你看见简用的那些老手段了吗?
[17:22] Yeah, she’s telling Page Six that she and Brie are clam slamming. 她在第六版(八卦版面)说自己跟布瑞就如同互摔的蚌壳
[17:25] Vaginas are so gross. 蜜穴真是恶心
[17:27] I wish I didn’t have one. 真希望我压根没有那东西
[17:29] Sometimes I forget I do. 有的时候我都忘了我也有这玩意了
[17:30] Yeah, yeah, we all do. 嗯 我们都会这样
[17:32] Get you one more of these? 再给你来一杯?
[17:33] I gotta get up in the morning, early, 我要早上早点起来
[17:35] ’cause Selina’s… 因为赛琳娜…
[17:37] – Yeah, make it a double. – Atta girl. – 行 要两份 – 好姑娘
[17:40] So, we will go to Paris first. 所以我们要先去巴黎
[17:42] – Goody! – We’ll figure out where we wanna go next. – 棒极了! – 然后再想想接下来去哪里
[17:43] Hey, listen, can you call somebody to bring me some fresh towels? 你能让人再给我拿点干净毛巾吗?
[17:46] – More towels? How many towels are you… – Yes, I need them. – 更多毛巾? 你要多少毛巾… – 对 我需要毛巾
[17:49] Breaking news from the “Washington Post.” 《华盛顿邮报》突发新闻
[17:49] 重大新闻: 披露梅耶日记新进展 公开其曾协商西藏独立事宜
[17:51] Buried among many new scandalous acts 淹没在梅耶总统
[17:53] – from the Meyer Presidency… – Oh, no. – 层出不穷的丑闻之中… – 不
[17:55] …comes the revelation that it was President Selina Meyer …有人揭露到 是赛琳娜·梅耶总统
[17:59] and not President Laura Montez 而非劳拉·蒙特兹总统
[18:01] who negotiated with the Chinese president to free Tibet. 与中国主席协商敲定了西藏独立的事宜
[18:04] – Jaffar! – Sources close to… – 贾法尔! – 消息紧密关系到…
[18:06] – What is the matter? What’s going on? – No, no, look! – 什么事? 发生了什么? – 不不 看!
[18:08] They know! They finally know it’s me! 他们都知道了! 他们终于知道是我干的了!
[18:11] – Oh, my gosh! – Yeah! – 我的天哪! – 太棒了!
[18:13] Well, the history books are being rewritten, 历史再一次需要被改写了
[18:16] and this time, it’s not Texas saying Satan made fossils. 而且这一次 要改的不是德州人说撒旦搞出来了石油
[18:21] Yes, he did. 就是他搞出来的
[18:22] – What? – Ma’am, it is everywhere! – 什么? – 女士 到处都是这个消息!
[18:24] This is the best day we’ve had since I started working for you. 这是我为你工作以来听到的最好的消息
[18:26] I guess it was actually good I lost the diary. 我猜 我丢了日记居然是件好事
[18:28] Ma’am, we’re getting requests 夫人 所有大型西藏报纸
[18:29] for confirmation from all the big Tibetan papers, 都来我们申请求证
[18:32] except for the “Lhasa Express,” Though. 尽管《拉萨快报》还没消息
[18:33] They’re playing their usual games. 他们又在玩那套把戏
[18:34] – Well, whatever. – This is amazing. – 算了 随便怎么样 – 这简直太神奇了
[18:35] Nobody is talking about any of the other stuff! 完全没人关注讨论其他事情了!
[18:38] God bless the media and their 上帝保佑各大媒体
[18:40] “Fly hitting a windshield” Attention span! 还有他们那 “苍蝇撞上挡风玻璃”注意力持续时间!
[18:42] I know! – Leon West is on “CBS This Morning” Right now. – 可不嘛! – 利昂·维斯特现在在上《CBS今晨》栏目
[18:45] Oh, my God, put it on really quick. 我的天 快打开看看
[18:47] Even you would admit that freeing Tibet from Chinese rule 即使是你 也应该承认将西藏从中国统治中解放出来
[18:51] is a monumental achievement. 是一项伟大的成就
[18:52] – Yes, it was. – No, that was a fluke. – 对 的确是 – 那只是侥幸而已
[18:54] That was a success despite an almost pathological level… 算是成功吧 尽管几近病态…
[18:57] President Meyer’s discretion speaks well of her. 梅耶总统细心周到的行为 为她代言
[19:00] Take that cum shot in all four eyes, Leon. 利昂 颜射你个四眼田鸡
[19:02] You should’ve taken Amy and walked away. 你就应该知足于带走艾米 然后认怂
[19:05] Nothing. 没什么
[19:05] If she were a man, you would call that confidence. 如果她是个男人 你会称之为自信
[19:08] Yeah, tell it, sister! Kick him in the cunt. 没错 就这样 大妹子! 操翻他
[19:11] I adore Jane McCabe. 我很敬仰简·麦克凯布
[19:14] …A heroine for our times. … 简直是我们时代的女英雄
[19:16] Montez is not gonna be happy. 蒙特兹不会高兴的
[19:18] It’s gonna put a real turd in her chalupa. 这消息就像是在她的鸡肉饼里放上了一坨大便
[19:20] Oh, we should get Mexican for lunch. 喔 我们应该来点墨西哥菜当午饭
[19:22] President Meyer’s office. Yale University president’s office? 梅耶总统办公室 耶鲁大学校长办公室?
[19:24] Okay, and she knows what this is regarding, Yale? 她知道您打电话来商讨的事宜吗 耶鲁?
[19:27] Give me that. I’m talking. Hello, this is President Meyer. 把那个给我 我要说话 你好 这里是梅耶总统
[19:31] Jim! How are you? 吉姆! 你最近怎么样?
[19:35] Oh, absolutely. 当然
[19:36] We’ll have your office get in touch with my office. 我们会同你办公室保持密切联系的
[19:39] We’re very interested in discussing that. 我们非常感兴趣讨论这个问题
[19:41] You, too. Bye-bye. 你也一样 拜拜
[19:45] Guess who is interested, all of a sudden, 猜猜看 突然之间
[19:47] – in the Selina Meyer Presidential Library. – Shut up! – 谁对赛琳娜·梅耶总统图书馆感兴趣了 – 不是吧!
[19:50] – Andrew. – What? – 安德鲁 – 什么?
[19:51] – Your ex. – No. Yale! – 你前夫 – 不 是耶鲁!
[19:53] I thought you went to Smith. 我以为你去的是史密斯大学
[19:54] No, it’s in the book that you wrote. 不 就在你写的书里呢
[19:57] Right, right, right, right. 对了对了对了
[19:58] Oh, my God, I’m gonna get upset! 我的天哪 我高兴得想哭了!
[20:01] – I’m so moved by this. – You just started tearing down Mee-Maw’s house. – 我太感动了! – 你刚要开始拆除奶奶的房子
[20:03] – Well, that’s Catherine’s problem. – Okay. – 那是凯瑟琳的问题了 – 好吧
[20:05] Hey, Kent, free at last, free at last. 嗨 肯特 终于自由了 终于
[20:08] I’ve been fired three times in my life 我这一生中被炒了三次鱿鱼
[20:10] from the US Postal Service Office of Investigations, 一次是被美国邮政服务调查处开了
[20:13] by the Seattle Seahawks, and by Jonah Ryan. 一次是被西雅图海鹰队开了 还有就是被乔纳·瑞安开除
[20:16] I cried each time. This time, it was tears of joy. 每次我都嚎啕大哭 而这一次 我流下的却是开心的泪水
[20:19] – Good for you. – Well, good timing because we’re in print – 干得漂亮 – 时机不错 因为我们
[20:21] as genius operators. 要以天才运营的身份见报了
[20:22] You know, this could be an opportunity. 这可能是个好机会
[20:24] I might get my teeth re-whitened. 我也许该去把我的牙重新漂白了
[20:25] Maybe we could start a new business, 也许我们可以另起炉灶
[20:27] take our shit show on the road. 让我们的破节目从此走上正路
[20:28] Yeah, easier than explaining 对 这比接住史蒂夫·拉琴特的球之后(海鹰队外接手)
[20:29] yards after the catch to Steve Largent. 再向他解释码数简单多了
[20:31] If we do this, though, one rule… no McLintock. 但是 如果要做这个 我有个规定… 不要麦克林托克
[20:35] No shit. So, what do you think? 当然不 所以你是怎么想的?
[20:36] The three Meyersketeers hang a shingle? 三个臭皮匠开个小公司吗?
[20:39] I am gonna bid you farewell 我就不参加了
[20:40] because this face belongs in broadcasting 因为我这张脸属于广播节目
[20:42] and I start a new gig tomorrow. 而且我明天就要开始一档新节目了
[20:43] Drinks are on you. Bye. 酒钱你掏 再见
[20:45] You’ll be sorry. 你会后悔的
[20:46] I thought you were taking the family to Italy. 我以为你要带你一家子去意大利
[20:48] They’re in Italy. 他们就在意大利
[20:51] 乔治华盛顿大学医院 华盛顿
[20:51] Hey, wake up. 喂 醒醒
[20:53] Can you hear me? 能听到我说话吗?
[20:54] – There you go. Hi. – Am I Jewish? – 醒了 你好 – 我是犹太人了吗?
[20:57] Your circumcision was a success, Mr. Ryan. 你的割礼很成功 瑞安先生
[20:59] If you notice any swelling, let me know, 如果有发现肿胀现象 请告诉我
[21:01] and no erection for six weeks. 还有就是六周内不能勃起
[21:03] Well, I don’t know how I’m not gonna get it hard 我不知道在跟一些”非优太”护士
[21:04] when I’m talking about my hog with some hot “Shiska” Nurse. 谈论我的大屌的时候会 怎么会硬不起来
[21:07] I’m your doctor, and it’s shiksa. 我是你的医生 而且那个词是非犹太
[21:10] – I’ll check on you later. – I’m pretty sure it’s “Shiska.” – 我一会再过来看你 – 我敢肯定就是”非优太”
[21:13] – I’m leaving. – How are you doing? – 我走了 – 你觉得怎么样?
[21:15] I don’t know. 我不知道
[21:16] Babe, so far, being Jewish really sucks. 宝贝 到目前为止 当犹太人实在是太操蛋了
[21:18] Will you pass me one of those ice packs, please? 你能把那里的冰袋拿一个给我吗?
[21:21] – Here you go, sweetie. – Thank you. – 给你 甜心 – 谢谢
[21:23] At least your dick won’t smell like donkey pussy anymore. 至少你的鸡巴闻起来不会再有驴逼的味道了
[21:26] Oh, God, I told you that was expired lube. 喔 天啊 我告诉过你那是过期润滑剂的味道
[21:28] Oh, and there’s someone here to see you. 啊 对了 有人来看你了
[21:30] – Hello, Jonie. – Ugh, fuck. Hello, Uncle Jeff. – 你好啊 乔尼 – 恶 草 你好啊 杰夫叔叔
[21:33] Now, why do you think I’m here? 猜猜我为什么过来?
[21:35] To wish me a speedy recovery? 来祝我早日康复?
[21:37] No, wishes belong in the bottom of a well 不 祝愿这种东西跟讨厌的女孩儿
[21:40] with unwanted girl children. 都应该被扔进井底
[21:41] Actually, I’m here to thank you. 我来这其实是来感谢你的
[21:44] Well, fine, you’re welcome for whatever. 行吧 那不用谢
[21:47] For shitting the urinal so badly, 我来谢谢你往夜壶里拉屎拉得如此之二逼
[21:49] you made the Hindenburg look like 让兴登堡空难看起来
[21:50] a normal, on-time blimp landing. 只像是正常又准时的飞艇着陆一样
[21:52] Uncle Jeff, people loved the shutdown– 杰夫叔叔 人们都支持停摆…
[21:55] Shut the fuck up, you epileptic Picasso painting! в闭上你的臭嘴 你这个抽风的毕加索(抽象派画家)肖像!
[21:59] Uh, you can’t talk to him like that. 喂 你不能这样跟他讲话!
[22:01] Uh, you can’t talk to him like that. 喂 你不能这样跟他讲话
[22:04] Who is this tranny knuckle-dragger? 这个死变性二傻子是谁?
[22:06] Somebody you hired to make sure you don’t get erections? 是不是别人雇来确保你不再勃起的?
[22:09] That tranny knuckle-dragger is my fiance. 这个死变性二傻子是我的未婚妻
[22:11] – Jonah! – Her name is Shawnee Tanz, – 乔纳 – 她的名字是肖妮·泰兹
[22:13] and you will treat her with respect. 而你必须要尊重她
[22:15] – Tanz as in Sherman Tanz? – That’s right. He’s my father. – 泰兹是舍曼·泰兹的泰兹? – 没错 他是我爸爸
[22:18] Oh, royalty. 哟 贵族啊
[22:20] Well, I suppose I should say I’m sorry. 那我应该说句对不起
[22:22] – Thank you. – Sorry you’re – 谢谢 – 对不起你居然
[22:23] even related to that human melted candle 跟那个成功的充当了”为什么犹太人讨厌”
[22:26] who puts the Jew in “Why people hate Jews.” 里的犹太人 二逼的融化的人形蜡烛有血缘关系
[22:28] Tell me this, did he sell your training bras 告诉我 他有没有把你的运动内衣
[22:31] as cum rags to the sex offenders in his prisons? 卖给他的性侵犯狱友当打飞机布用?
[22:35] Listen up, Ms. Tranz, 听好了 变性小姐
[22:36] as of today, Jonie here is down three points 今天为止 这里躺着的乔尼已经低于那个
[22:39] to that wop wonder Di Vicentis, 意大利奇葩迪·范桑特兹三个百分点了
[22:41] so I am pulling this creature from the jizz lagoon 所以我要把这个产自一滩精液的玩意
[22:45] right off the New Hampshire congressional ballot 撤出新罕布什尔州议会投票名单
[22:48] and replacing him with his cousin, Ezra. 让他的表兄以斯拉代替他
[22:50] What– mm– what? 什 什么?
[22:52] Ezra has more raw political 以斯拉的涨红龟头里的
[22:54] talent in the tip of his rosy-head pecker 政治天赋比你身下当啷的被割掉包皮的
[22:56] than you have in this mangled abortion coat hanger 那个连你的身体都不值得叫的玩意
[22:59] you should be ashamed to call your body. 多得多
[23:02] The people of New Hampshire are gonna be so grateful to me, 新罕布什尔州的人民一定会十分感激我
[23:04] I’m gonna be like a disability check 我就像裹着一包没有滤嘴香烟的
[23:06] wrapped around a pack of no-filter cigarettes. 残疾保障支票
[23:09] – See you around, Jonie. – Wait, can he really do that? – 再会了 乔尼 – 等等 他真的能这么做吗?
[23:11] Take your name off the ballot? 把你从投票名单里除名?
[23:12] Yeah, he owns, like, all these old people. 能啊 大概 全部的老年人都支持他
[23:14] Jonah, I have been thinking, 乔纳 我一直在想
[23:17] um, you know, I think I wanna slow things down with us. 我觉得我们应该缓一缓
[23:20] Okay, yeah, that makes sense. 嗯 好 也有道理
[23:21] My teachers had to do that all the time. 我的老师们都跟我说过这句话
[23:22] No, with us– you and me. 不 我的意思是我们俩 你和我
[23:25] What? 什么?
[23:31] – She’s dumping you! – Shut the fuck up, Uncle Jeff. – 她是要甩了你! – 闭上你的嘴 杰夫叔叔
[23:34] – She’s not dumping me. – Oh, no, I am. – 她才不是要甩了我呢 – 不 我是要甩了你
[23:37] I’ve been having doubts for a little while. 我已经犹豫了许久
[23:41] Uncle Jeff, shut up! 杰夫叔叔 闭嘴!
[23:43] What do you mean a little while? 你说许久是什么意思?
[23:44] What the fuck does that even mean? 许久到底他妈的是什么鬼?
[23:46] Is that before or after I scheduled the surgery 是在我预定这个切掉我鸡巴好娶你的手术
[23:48] to cut my dick off so you could marry me? 之前还是之后?
[23:52] Uncle Jeff, come on! 杰夫叔叔 闭嘴啊!
[23:54] I’m so glad I came in person and didn’t call. 我真是太开心我亲自来了一趟 而不是打电话给你了
[23:57] Goodbye, Jonah. 再见了 乔纳
[23:59] Sorry. 抱歉
[24:01] – Come on, honey, I’ll walk you out. – Oh, that’s nice of you. – 来吧 亲爱的 我陪你一起出去 – 噢 你人真好
[24:04] – Are you parked in the garage? – Yeah, I’m just outside. – 你把车停在车库了吗? – 嗯 就在外面
[24:06] Oh, that’s… 这…
[24:08] Shawnee, wait– 肖妮 等等…
[24:20] Okay, come on. 拜托还能用啊
[24:24] Ow! Nurse! 嗷! 护士快来啊!
[24:28] Leon West just called for the seventh time. 利昂·维斯特已经打来七通电话了
[24:31] He says he wants you to– – 他说他想要…
[24:32] He wants to gargle my nuts and tickle my taint? 他想要洗我的下体帮我挠痒痒?
[24:34] – Tell him to get in line. – Oh, ma’am, the publisher said – 让他排队去吧 – 女士 出版商说您的书
[24:36] we’re getting some book reviews in. 已经有几条书评了
[24:38] Oh, the “Lhasa Express” Gives it five namastes. 《拉萨快报》给了五个合十礼
[24:40] – Now, what are you doing? – Don’t worry about it. – 你现在在干嘛啊? – 别担心
[24:42] – They’re ready for you, ma’am. – Oh. – 他们已经准备好了 女士 – 好
[24:43] – That’s Bethany. – Okay, thank you, Tiffany. – 这是贝瑟尼 – 好嘞 谢谢你 蒂芙尼
[24:46] – I’m going! – Amy: Knock ’em dead, ma’am. – 我要去了! – 让他们拜倒在你的石榴裙下 女士
[24:48] – Thank you! – Have fun. – 谢谢! – 玩得开心啊
[24:49] How long have you been working for “The Tonight Show”? 你在今夜秀工作多久了?
[24:51] – About a month. – Richard: Hey, ma’am. – 一个月了 – 嗨 女士
[24:53] Ma’am, Catherine’s in an ambulance. 女士 凯瑟琳被救护车接走了
[24:56] – She’s having some bad bleeding. – Oh, my God, on the couch? – 她正大出血 – 喔 天啊 她把血流在我沙发上了?
[24:58] – Did they put the garbage bags down? – I don’t know. – 他们放垃圾袋了没有啊? – 我不知道
[25:00] – Okay, and? – One of us should go? – 好吧 所以呢? – 我们要派过去个人吗?
[25:03] Well, what are you standing here for? 那你还不快去?
[25:04] – You’re the donor. – Oh, father. – 你才是捐精的那个啊 – 对啊 我是爸爸
[25:06] – Do you need to leave? – Where do I stand? – 您需要先走吗? – 我该站在哪里?
[25:08] – Oh, right there on the mark. – On the thing? Okay. Thank you. – 站在做记号的地方就好 – 站在这玩意上? 好 谢谢
[25:11] – Good luck, ma’am. – Hi. How are you? – 祝您好运 女士 – 嗨 你好啊?
[25:13] …the first woman to hold the office of the president. …第一位被任命为总统的女士
[25:16] If that’s not enough, she’s written an autobiography– 如果这样还不够有料的话 她还写了一本自传…
[25:19] “A Woman First: First Woman.” 《第一位女总统 :第一女士》
[25:21] Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome… 女士们先生们 请用热烈的掌声有请…
[25:23] …President Selina Meyer! Selina! … 赛琳娜·梅耶总统!赛琳娜!
[25:25] Hey! Ah! Whoo! How about that? 嗨! 呼! 谢谢 谢谢你们的掌声
[25:29] – Hello. – Hey. Great. – 你好 – 嘿 你好啊
[25:30] – Thank you so much for coming. – Thank you! – 十分感谢您参加节目 – 谢谢!
[25:33] How about this, a real president! 怎么样啊 一位如假包换的总统!
[25:35] A real president. 一位如假包换的总统
[25:38] – Where to? – 53rd and 3rd, please. – 您去哪? – 五十三大街和第三大街路口 谢谢
[25:44] Hi, there. Welcome to “CBS This Ride.” 嗨 大家好啊 欢迎收看《CBS移动在线》
[25:48] I’m your host, Dan Egan, 我是主持人 丹·伊艮
[25:49] – bringing you exclusive content… – Oh, no, no, no, no. – 带给您独家消息… – 哦 不 不 不 不
[25:51] – Off. – …right here in New York City Yellow Cabs. – 关掉 – … 一切尽在纽约城的黄色出租之中
[25:53] Sir, how do you– I can’t get the screen to go off. 先生 怎么才能… 我关不掉这玩意
[25:56] Come on, how the fuck do you turn this thing off?! 拜托 怎么才能把这该死的东西关掉?!
[25:58] There’s an off– you see the off button? 那有个关机键… 您看到关机键了吗?
[26:00] All right, you know what? You know what? 好吧 你猜怎么着?
[26:02] I wanna get out. Shut the fuck up! 老子要下车 闭上你的嘴!
[26:04] Sir, can you calm down, please? 先生 请你冷静一下 好吗?
[26:06] …Broadway is your scene, Fringe Festival’s in town. … 百老汇就是你的舞台 爱丁堡艺穗节来了
[26:09] God damn it. Ben, it’s me. 天杀的 本 是我
[26:11] – Hey, you gonna pay? – I’m in. – 喂 你还没给钱呢? – 我加入
[26:14] I did wanna clear the air about one thing. 我想先问清楚一件事
[26:16] – Sure. – Earlier this week, you were booked on the show. – 可以 – 这周早些天的时候 您已经定好了要参加本节目
[26:19] You had to cancel, which, to us, is like, you know, 但您却取消了 对我们来说 就像是
[26:21] she’s the President of the United– who cares? 她可是美国总统啊… 谁管呢?
[26:23] We’re fine with it. 我们都觉得没关系
[26:24] You have so many more important things to do… 您有许多重要的事情要处理
[26:26] – Well, thank you. – …than our stupid show – 嗯 谢谢理解… – 比我们的破节目重要多了
[26:29] No, it’s a great show. 不 这是个很棒的节目
[26:30] that we put together with Scotch tape here. 我们在直播间里放了太多斯高隐形胶带了
[26:31] – No, I love this show. – And then there was speculation – 不 我很喜欢这个节目 – 还有人猜测
[26:34] that you did so because you were embarrassed 您这么做是因为您因为一些有关您教练的淫荡的新闻
[26:37] about some salacious news stories about your trainer. 而倍感尴尬
[26:40] Yes, in sleeping with my trainer, 是啊 跟我的教练搞在一起
[26:42] I did not exercise good judgment. 并没有锻炼到我的是非观
[26:46] Wow. 哇哦
[26:47] Ha, ha, ha! 哈 哈 哈!
[26:49] Zinger! 妙语连珠啊!
[26:51] Actually, what I really would love to talk about, 其实 我很想谈谈有关
[26:53] um, is Tibet. 西藏的事情
[26:55] – The deal that we brokered.- Yeah, absolutely, Madam President. – 我们商谈的协定 – 是啊 好的 总统女士
[26:57] But before that, 但是在此之前
[26:59] just in honor of your new book… 庆祝您的新书出版…
[27:01] – Oh, sure. – …”A Woman First: First Woman.” – 喔 好啊 – …《第一位女总统 :第一女士》
[27:03] – Is that the final title or are you, uh…? – Yeah. – 这就是最终敲定的书名了吗 还是您… ? – 是啊
[27:05] Oh, yeah, that– mm-hmm. 嗯 那… 嗯嗯
[27:07] – It’s a little pun. – It is a pun, kind of. – 是个小小的双关 – 是个双关 算是吧
[27:09] By the way, this is quite a photo on the cover. 说到新书 这张封面的照片真棒
[27:12] – It’s really, really nice. – Thank you. – 真是非常端庄大方 – 谢谢
[27:14] Do I need, like, special glasses 我需不需要 特殊的镜头
[27:15] – to be able to see this in focus? – No, no! – 来看得更清晰一点? – 不用 不用啦!
[27:18] Or how does this work? 还是应该怎么用?
[27:19] It just came out today, and we thought it would be fun, 接下来的活动是今天新推出的 我们觉得应该会很有趣
[27:22] in honor of you canceling on us, 小小的纪念一下您临时取消上我们节目
[27:23] to have some children come out here. 我们请了一些孩子们来到现场
[27:26] They’ll read you some of our favorite reviews 他们会为我们朗读一些我们最喜欢的您新书的
[27:28] – of your book. – Oh, neat! – 书评 – 真棒!
[27:29] Because as any parent knows, 因为所有的父母都知道
[27:31] kids read the darndest things off of cue cards. 孩子们人小鬼大语惊人
[27:34] That’s right. So, kids, could you come out here, please? 没错 所以孩儿们 请你们出来站在那 可以吗?
[27:36] – Oh, so cute. – Yeah, very cute. – 好可爱啊 – 是啊 是很可爱
[27:39] Starting up here, we’ve got Ella, who is age nine. 从这开始 艾拉第一个读 艾拉今年九岁
[27:43] “‘The New York Times’ says, “《纽约时代》评价道
[27:44] ‘We’ve been stunned by the revelations ‘我们在这几天的时间里
[27:46] and achievements of the Meyer presidency 因对梅耶总统任期的揭露以及其取得的成就
[27:49] over the last few days. 而倍感震惊
[27:50] Why aren’t they in the book?'” 为什么这些书里只字不提呢?'”
[27:53] That’s not a bad question. 这个问题还不赖
[27:54] Next up, Melanie, age eight. 下一个 梅拉妮 八岁
[27:56] “‘Publisher Weekly’ calls it ‘Scattered and disjointed, “《出版商周刊》认为这本书’散乱又脱节’
[28:00] much like the Meyer presidency.'” 就像梅耶任期一样'”
[28:03] – Okay, next up, we got Ruby, age 10. – Wow. – 好的 下一位 露比 十岁 – 哇
[28:07] “The ‘New York Post’ says, ‘Remainder City.'” “《纽约邮报》评价 ‘减价处理之城'”
[28:11] – Whoa. – Can we play “What’s– What’s in the Bag”? – 哇 – 我们能不能玩 “袋子里是什么”这个游戏啊?
[28:14] Let’s guess what’s in the bag. 我们猜猜袋子里是什么
[28:16] We played that last night when you weren’t here. 昨晚在你放我们鸽子的时候玩过了
[28:17] – Ah. – We’ve got Elliot, age 10. – 啊 – 接着是艾略特 十岁
[28:19] “‘The New Yorker’ called it ‘A trite, monotonous tune “《纽约客》称其是 ‘用语单调 陈腐
[28:23] that’s as inconsequential as any…'” 其不合逻辑的程度就如同…'”
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副总统(Veep)剧集台词目录:

在线阅读
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08

在线阅读
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10

在线阅读
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10

在线阅读
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
S04E04
S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10

在线阅读
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10

在线阅读
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10

在线阅读
S07E01
S07E02
S07E03
S07E04
S07E05
S07E06
S07E07

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