| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:20] | Vernon and I just want to thank you all for coming. | 弗南和我想感谢所有人的光临 |
| [00:23] | Ever since I was a small girl, | 从我还是个小女孩时起 |
| [00:25] | I’ve dreamt of this day. | 就一直梦想着这一天 |
| [00:26] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [00:29] | Sure, in my fantasy, | 当然了 在我的幻想中 |
| [00:31] | it took place at Fraggle Rock. | 我的婚礼是在木偶之家举行的 |
| [00:34] | I was marrying Johnny Depp. | 而新郎则是男神约翰尼·德普 |
| [00:35] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [00:38] | But in all seriousness, | 但是说真的 |
| [00:41] | it is so amazing to be surrounded by so many people who care about us. | 能被这么多关心我们的人环绕着 感觉真好 |
| [00:48] | We really feel… | 我们真的感受到 |
| [00:50] | so much love from you guys. | 来自你们的无尽的爱 |
| [00:55] | And as the Beatles said, | 正如披头士的歌词所唱 |
| [00:57] | “All you need is love.” | “你唯一需要的就是爱” |
| [00:59] | And a Vera Wang dress. | 以及王薇薇牌婚纱啦 |
| [01:03] | Vernon and I are looking forward | 弗南和我期待着 |
| [01:05] | to seeing you at our 50th wedding anniversary. | 在我们的金婚纪念仪式上再次看到大家 |
| [01:12] | Promised myself I wasn’t gonna do this. | 我向自己保证过不会在婚礼上流泪的 |
| [01:21] | Uh, Jimmy, are you having a-a good time? | 吉米 你玩得还开心吗 |
| [01:24] | Absolutely. | 当然了 |
| [01:25] | Just so glad you invited me. | 我很高兴你邀请了我来参加婚礼 |
| [01:28] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [01:29] | Of course. | 当然了 |
| [01:30] | Sometimes, well, you just want to witness | 但有时候 人都会很想围观 |
| [01:33] | the beginning of a disaster, | 一场灾难的开端 |
| [01:35] | so later, when the house is engulfed in flames, | 等到以后 房子真的燃起大火的时候 |
| [01:39] | you can say, “Yup, | 你就可以说 “好棒 |
| [01:41] | I was there when they installed the faulty wiring.” | 他们铺设劣质电线的时候我也在场” |
| [01:45] | Unbelievable. | 你真令人难以置信 |
| [01:46] | Just admit it. | 承认吧你 |
| [01:48] | You only invited me here | 你邀请我来参加婚礼的唯一目的 |
| [01:49] | so you could passive-aggressively | 就是为了消极反抗式地 |
| [01:50] | rub my nose in your happiness. | 用你的幸福来打击我 |
| [01:52] | At least I would have had the decency | 至少我只会高尚地 |
| [01:54] | to rub your nose in it directly. | 直接抨击你 不会玩这些手段 |
| [01:55] | Oh, yes, your commitment to honesty is so refreshing. | 你向来有话直说的风格可真令人耳目一新 |
| [01:59] | It must be so hard being the only one | 作为唯一一个可以看透别人本质的人 |
| [02:01] | who sees people for what they actually are. | 你一定感到很孤单吧 |
| [02:02] | It is. It’s incredibly hard. | 是啊 真的无比艰难 |
| [02:04] | Well, it’s also gonna be what keeps you alone, | 你也会因此注定孤独一辈子 |
| [02:06] | because you are ugly | 因为你丑到没朋友 |
| [02:07] | and unpleasant and honestly, Jimmy, | 令人厌恶 老实说 吉米 |
| [02:09] | you’re not the original you think you are. | 你也没你以为得那么货真价实 |
| [02:11] | I’m not original? | 我不够货真价实 |
| [02:13] | That is hilarious, coming from such a… | 真是笑死人了 你这种人竟然有脸… |
| [02:17] | No, you’re right. | 不 你说得对 |
| [02:18] | This day isn’t about me, is it? | 今天的主角不是我 是吧 |
| [02:20] | What were you gonna say? | 你本来想说什么的 |
| [02:20] | Forget it. | 算了吧 |
| [02:21] | No, I’m serious. | 不 我说真的 |
| [02:23] | I really want to know what does the | 我真的很想知道 |
| [02:24] | brilliant Jimmy Shive-Overly think about me? | 聪明绝顶的吉米·希瓦-奥弗利对我有何评价 |
| [02:32] | You talk to her again, | 你再敢跟她说话 |
| [02:33] | and me and my boys will mess you up. | 我和我的兄弟们 就会给你”捣乱”的 |
| [02:36] | Who talks like that? | 谁会这么说话啊 |
| [02:37] | I’m serious, Jimmy. | 我是认真的 吉米 |
| [02:39] | Fine, not a problem. | 行吧 没问题 |
| [02:40] | Enjoy your sham of a marriage! | 祝你在虚伪的婚姻里幸福 |
| [02:41] | I will! | 我会的 |
| [02:52] | You got another one of those? | 能给我一支烟吗 |
| [02:56] | Pretty expensive. | 这可是很贵的 |
| [03:07] | Good job in there. | 你刚刚表现得真棒 |
| [03:10] | Getting married doesn’t remove you | 结婚并不能够让你 |
| [03:13] | from the burden of having to act like a human being. | 免去表现得像个人样的重任 |
| [03:16] | Totally. Those two are doomed. | 绝对的 那俩人算是完蛋了 |
| [03:17] | Right? | 是吧 |
| [03:18] | Has any couple ever had a more dishonest start to a marriage? | 有哪对夫妻婚姻的开端像他们这么虚伪吗 |
| [03:22] | I mean, the balls to have a traditional Catholic ceremony. | 竟然要举办一个传统的天主教婚礼仪式 |
| [03:25] | When she’s already had two abortions. | 她都已经堕过两次胎了 |
| [03:27] | And can only orgasm through anal. | 而且只有肛交才能让她达到高潮 |
| [03:33] | Mr. And Mrs. Cottumaccio. | 科特马奇奥先生和太太 |
| [03:35] | Old Cottumaccios. | 老科特马奇奥夫妇 |
| [03:41] | You’re pretty. | 你很漂亮 |
| [03:44] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [03:46] | How do you know her? | 你是怎么认识她的 |
| [03:47] | I’m friends with the sister. | 我跟她妹妹是朋友 |
| [03:49] | Friends with Fat Lindsay? | 跟肥妹琳赛是好朋友吗 |
| [03:50] | Yeah, me and Fat Lindsay are hella close. | 是啊 我跟肥妹琳赛很亲密 |
| [03:52] | So, uh, what you heard about me? | 那你对我有何耳闻 |
| [03:55] | Nothing, just that you’re the worst. | 没什么 就听说你是个奇葩 |
| [03:58] | Says the girl who just stole a blender from a wedding. | 你他妈刚从婚礼上偷了个搅拌机还有脸说我 |
| [04:03] | No. Really? | 不是吧 真的吗 |
| [04:07] | Oh, man! I thought it was a food processor. | 我靠 我还以为是个食物料理机呢 |
| [04:13] | Who’s the worst now? | 现在谁才是奇葩啊 |
| [04:26] | I don’t know what I’m doing here. | 我都不知道我这是在干什么 |
| [04:27] | I’m not even attracted to you. | 我根本没对你心动 |
| [04:29] | What does that have to do with anything? | 那跟打炮有关系吗 |
| [04:33] | Yeah. | 是哦 |
| [04:36] | What? It’s L.A. | 什么 这可是洛杉矶 |
| [04:38] | – Who doesn’t drive? – DUI. | -谁不开车啊 -酒后驾驶被吊销了证 |
| [04:40] | I occasionally see this movie director guy. | 我偶尔会跟一个电影导演约个炮 |
| [04:42] | Gross. | 真恶心 |
| [04:42] | One time, he booty-texted me from some awards show. | 有一次 他在某个颁奖典礼上给我发了约炮短信 |
| [04:45] | I was already at the bar, so I drove over to his house, | 我已经在酒吧了 所以我就开车去了他家 |
| [04:47] | then he texted me he was going to be late, | 然后他又发短信说他会晚点到 |
| [04:49] | so I idly drove around his neighborhood… | 所以我就开车在他家附近转悠 |
| [04:52] | until I kind of sideswiped an off-duty cop. | 结果竟然从一个下了班的警察身边经过 |
| [04:55] | Do you know, I’m glad this is a one-night thing, | 你知道吗 我很高兴我们这就是一夜情而已 |
| [04:57] | we can reveal all this awful shit about ourselves. | 我们可以把自身真实丑恶的一面都暴露出来 |
| [05:00] | Totally. High five. | 绝对的 击个掌 |
| [05:05] | I’ll get that. | 我来舔掉 |
| [05:12] | Ok, I like that. | 好吧 我喜欢这样 |
| [05:15] | All girls do. | 所有妹子都喜欢 |
| [05:16] | Don’t call me “All girls.” | 别把我当做跟那些妹子一样 |
| [05:21] | Damn it. That’s good, too. | 该死的 这样也好爽 |
| [05:25] | You know, right before Becca broke up with me, | 就在贝卡和我分手之前 |
| [05:27] | I started reading her e-mail. | 我开始偷偷看她的电邮 |
| [05:28] | Oh, I’ve done that. | 我也干过那事 |
| [05:30] | So even though I had warning, | 所以尽管我已经提前有了预感 |
| [05:32] | when she broke up with me, | 但当她真的跟我提分手的时候 |
| [05:33] | it kind of… just kind of knocked me out. | 依然 把我打击得心碎 |
| [05:38] | Even though she’s clearly a ridiculous human being, you know? | 尽管她显然是一个可笑的无知人类 |
| [05:42] | Yeah. Break-ups hurt. | 是啊 分手确实令人伤心 |
| [05:44] | I’ve heard. I don’t really do relationships. | 我听说的啦 我从不谈正式的恋爱 |
| [05:48] | Me, neither. | 我也不谈 |
| [05:49] | Anymore. | 是以后不会了 |
| [05:51] | So, what, are you one of those creepy foot guys? | 怎么 你是患有恋足癖吗 |
| [05:55] | No. I have nervous hands, and they have to stay busy. | 不是 是我手痒 闲不住 |
| [06:04] | Yeah, that’s good. | 哇 好爽 |
| [06:06] | Oh, don’t stop, you son of a bitch. | 别停下 你个小混蛋 |
| [06:12] | You just spit on it? | 你竟然对着洞口吐痰吗 |
| [06:14] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [06:15] | You just spit on my vagina. | 你竟然对着我的阴道吐痰 |
| [06:17] | So? | 那又如何 |
| [06:18] | – Don’t! – Why? | -不要 -为什么 |
| [06:19] | Why don’t spit on my vagina? | 你为什么要吐痰在我的阴道上 |
| [06:21] | It’s saliva. It’s gonna get there anyway. | 就口水而已 反正也会舔湿的 |
| [06:28] | And that’s how I got crabs from my guidance counselor. | 我的辅导员就是那样把阴虱传给我的 |
| [06:44] | Right. Uh, I should get some sleep, so… | 好吧 我得睡觉了 所以… |
| [06:48] | Right. Good night. | 好吧 晚安 |
| [06:51] | Wait. What? | 等等 搞什么 |
| [06:52] | Oh, relax. I’m just lazy. | 放松 我只是懒而已 |
| [06:55] | I’ll sneak out in the morning. | 我明早会偷偷溜走的 |
| [06:56] | No, there are no sleepovers. | 不行 炮友是不能留下来过夜的 |
| [07:00] | Oh, too bad. | 那太糟糕了 |
| [07:02] | I have sleep apnea. | 我患有睡眠呼吸暂停症 |
| [07:03] | I have to wear a CPAP machine. | 我得戴着呼吸机睡觉 |
| [07:05] | Don’t care. I’m a log. | 不在乎 我睡得很死 |
| [07:16] | – You look like Top Gun. – Shut up. | -你看上去跟《壮志凌云》中一样 -闭嘴 |
| [07:20] | I’m so glad I’m not gonna remember any of this in the morning. | 我真高兴明早起来我就会忘得一干二净了 |
| [07:24] | “Never leave your wingman.” | “永远不要抛弃你的搭档” |
| [07:28] | So stupid. | 真够傻气的 |
| [07:42] | Morning. | 早上好 |
| [07:46] | So, I’ve been thinking about ghosts. | 我一直在想着有关鬼的事 |
| [07:48] | Oh, the things that don’t exist because there is no soul? | 那些不存在的玩意儿吗 因为根本没什么鬼魂啊 |
| [07:52] | What a great use of your time. | 你可真会好好利用时间 |
| [07:53] | You know my great-grandfather Baldemar on my father’s side, right? | 你知道我曾祖父贝德玛吧 我爸这边的 |
| [07:55] | What? No. How could I possibly know your great…? | 什么 不知道 我怎么可能知道你曾… |
| [07:58] | Oh, he was this crazy adventurer guy | 他是一个极具冒险精神的人 |
| [07:58] | who owned a ranch in Zihuatanejo, | 在芝华塔尼欧拥有一个农场 |
| [08:00] | and he sold arms and was a matador. | 他是贩卖武器的 并且曾是个斗牛士 |
| [08:01] | What was his name? Voldemort? | 他叫什么名字 伏地魔吗 |
| [08:03] | The coolest guy. Because I was thinking, | 最酷的家伙 因为我想着 |
| [08:05] | he sounds like he had it all worked out, | 他似乎已经参悟透了生死的奥秘 |
| [08:07] | and maybe if I could learn his secrets, | 如果我能知道他的秘密 |
| [08:09] | then I could fix my problems. | 那或许我就可以解决我的问题了 |
| [08:11] | How would meeting your dead relative | 见一见你死去的亲戚 |
| [08:13] | help you move out of my house? | 怎么就能让你从我家搬出去了 |
| [08:14] | No, I’m talking about my real problems. | 不 我是在说我真正的问题 |
| [08:17] | Like, the nightmares and the crying, | 比如 做噩梦 大哭不止 |
| [08:19] | and how I want to do heroin all the time. | 以及整天想嗑海洛因 |
| [08:22] | So, anyway, what do you think? | 总之 你是怎么个看法 |
| [08:25] | What do I think about what? | 什么怎么个看法 |
| [08:25] | If I should hold a seance | 我是不是该举行个降神会 |
| [08:27] | to contact great-grandfather Baldemar. | 来跟我的曾祖父贝德玛交流一下 |
| [08:29] | No. | 不要 |
| [08:32] | I think I’m gonna do it. | 我觉得我还是去办一场吧 |
| [08:34] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [08:36] | Why did you let me sleep so late? I’m famished. | 你怎么让我睡到这么晚 我都饿死了 |
| [08:40] | Nice place. | 这地方真不错 |
| [08:44] | Hi, I’m Edgor. | 你好 我叫埃德加 |
| [08:47] | Gretchen. This is dynamite. | 我叫格雷琴 真是太好吃了 |
| [08:49] | Oh, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [08:50] | So, how do you guys know each other? | 你们是怎么认识的 |
| [08:52] | Uh, we met in college. | 我们是在大学里认识的 |
| [08:53] | No, we didn’t. | 不 不是 |
| [08:54] | Well, he was in college, and I sold weed to college kids. | 他当时在上大学 我是专门向大学生兜售大麻的 |
| [08:57] | Then he started giving me books to read, | 然后他开始给一些书给我看 |
| [08:58] | ’cause he saw untapped potential in me. | 因为他在我身上看到了潜力 |
| [09:01] | I gave you books that I stole from Borders | 我把我从博德斯书店偷来的书给你 |
| [09:03] | because I didn’t have money for weed. | 是因为我没钱买大麻 |
| [09:05] | Semantics. Have you read his book yet? | 意思都一样 你读过他的书吗 |
| [09:07] | Sales were flatter than expected, | 销量比预计得要平淡些 |
| [09:08] | plus he blew all his money on this house. | 再说他把钱都花在这房子上面了 |
| [09:10] | That’s why he has to do more magazine work, | 所以他不得不给杂志写稿 |
| [09:12] | but you should read it. | 但你真该看看这书 |
| [09:12] | It’s real good. | 真的很精彩 |
| [09:14] | Okay. | 好啊 |
| [09:17] | At least buy your own copy. | 你至少自己去书店买一本支持我啊 |
| [09:20] | Right. | 好吧 |
| [09:21] | So which one of you is giving me a ride to work? | 待会儿你们谁载我去上班啊 |
| [09:25] | I can’t drive because I have PTSD | 我不能开车 因为我患有创伤后应激障碍 |
| [09:27] | and mild to medium battlefield-induced psychosis. | 以及轻度到中度的战场诱发型精神病 |
| [09:29] | Bummer. Jimmy, you’re up. | 真不幸 吉米 你来吧 |
| [09:32] | My car’s at the reception. We took a cab. | 我的车在婚礼接待处 我们昨天打车回来的 |
| [09:35] | We did? | 是吗 |
| [09:38] | Damn. | 该死 |
| [09:51] | I can’t believe it. | 我真不敢相信 |
| [09:52] | Drive faster. I’m late. | 开快点 我要迟到了 |
| [09:54] | You slept with Jimmy. | 你竟然跟吉米上床了 |
| [09:56] | Apparently. | 显然嘛 |
| [09:57] | Who used to date my sister. | 他可是我姐姐的前男友 |
| [09:59] | Yeah, I know. | 是啊 我知道 |
| [09:59] | And on the night of her wedding? | 而且是在她结婚当天勾搭上的 |
| [10:01] | Why are you crawling up my ass about this, Lindsay? | 你为什么这么叨逼个不停 琳赛 |
| [10:03] | You know what a jerk he is. | 你知道他是个多大的混蛋 |
| [10:04] | I told you all the time how he swallowed her up. | 我一直跟你说 他把她吞噬了 |
| [10:07] | She disappeared her life into his | 她的生活完全以他为中心了 |
| [10:09] | and was never the same. | 也彻底变了个人 |
| [10:10] | Oh, that’s ’cause Becca doesn’t have a personality to begin with. | 那是因为贝卡本来就没什么个性 |
| [10:13] | Well, that’s true. | 那倒是真的 |
| [10:16] | Jimmy’s the worst. | 吉米真是一朵奇葩 |
| [10:18] | Did he say anything about me? | 他说了关于我的什么话了吗 |
| [10:20] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [10:21] | You’re not gonna see him again, are you? | 你不会跟他继续见面了吧 |
| [10:23] | No way. | 不可能啦 |
| [10:25] | We did have fun, though. | 不过我们昨晚过得很开心 |
| [10:27] | Oh, God, I hope he doesn’t think it was, like, an actual thing. | 天啊 我希望他别以为我们是来真的 |
| [10:31] | No kidding. | 开什么玩笑 |
| [10:32] | Can you be careful where you’re putting your makeup, | 你化妆的时候能小心点吗 |
| [10:34] | and can you take your feet off the take your feet off the dashboard? | 你能把脚从仪表板上拿下来吗 |
| [10:37] | This is a lease. | 这可是租来的 |
| [10:40] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:42] | Stop the car. | 停车 |
| [10:43] | – What? – Stop the car! | -什么 -停车 |
| [10:46] | I’d rather walk than drive in this sterile, | 我宁愿下来走路 也不要坐在这寒碜的 |
| [10:48] | suburban, piece of shit car with my best friend | 老土的破车里 听我最好的朋友 |
| [10:50] | being shitty and judgmental to me | 指责我 评判我 |
| [10:51] | ’cause I had sex with a guy at a wedding. | 就因为我跟一个在婚礼上认识的男人做爱了 |
| [10:53] | How many guys did you blow at our five-year reunion? | 你在我们的5周年聚会上给多少男人口交过 |
| [10:59] | Four. | 4个 |
| [11:00] | Four? You told me three. | 4个吗 你之前跟我说是3个 |
| [11:02] | I might have left out Tor Borgfeldt. | 我可能漏掉了托尔·伯格菲尔德 |
| [11:04] | Ew! I’m seriously nauseated right now. | 恶 这下我真要吐了 |
| [11:08] | Oh, God. We used to have so much fun. | 天啊 我们以前玩得多开心啊 |
| [11:10] | Yeah, we did. | 是啊 没错 |
| [11:13] | Why’d you have to get married? | 你为什么非得结婚啊 |
| [11:14] | I know. I’m sorry. | 我懂的 对不起 |
| [11:17] | Do you like my new haircut? | 你喜欢我的新发型吗 |
| [11:18] | No, you look like Ellen Barkin. | 不喜欢 你这样跟艾伦·巴金似的 |
| [11:21] | If you get your real estate license, | 如果你搞到了房产证 |
| [11:22] | I will stab you in the tits. | 我就捅破你的奶子 |
| [11:39] | Brilliant, | 好啊 |
| [11:40] | Absolutely Brilliant. | 真是”好极了” |
| [11:49] | What? | 搞毛 |
| [11:51] | I just moved in… over there. | 我刚搬过来 住在那里 |
| [11:54] | Of course you did. | 当然了 |
| [11:55] | Why do you say that? | 你为什么这么说 |
| [11:56] | Because the death of any interesting neighborhood | 因为任何有趣的邻里社区的灭亡 |
| [11:58] | is the influx of white procreators. | 都是因为白人生育者的涌入 |
| [12:01] | Oh, that’s cool. My nutritionist is gay, too. | 没关系 我的营养专家也是基佬 |
| [12:04] | I’m not gay. | 我不是基佬 |
| [12:07] | I’m English. | 我来自大英腐国而已 |
| [12:09] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [12:11] | A royalty check for my book for… | 我新书获得的版权费 |
| [12:13] | $17.43. | 就17.43美元 |
| [12:17] | Do you know, if there was any doubt | 你知道吗 如果有人不相信 |
| [12:18] | that the book industry was dead, it is here in my hand. | 图书行业已死 那证据就在我手中 |
| [12:22] | R.I.P., literature. 2000 BC to this moment. | 安息吧 文学 生于公元前2000年 卒于此刻 |
| [12:26] | You want to hang out sometime? | 你想抽空一起玩玩吗 |
| [12:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:31] | What are you even talking about? | 你在鬼扯些什么呢 |
| [12:32] | I’m an adult. Do you know what that means? | 我是个成年人 你知道那是什么意思吗 |
| [12:36] | It means that I am beset upon at all times | 那意味着我长期被海啸般的 |
| [12:38] | by a tsunami of complex thoughts and struggles, | 复杂想法和挣扎包围着 |
| [12:41] | unceasingly aware of my own mortality | 持续不断地思考着我自身的死亡命运 |
| [12:44] | and able to contemplate the futility of everything | 并能苦思一切的徒劳无用 |
| [12:47] | and yet still rage against the dying of the light. | 但依然能怒斥光的消逝 |
| [12:51] | So do you see | 所以你现在明白 |
| [12:52] | how monumentally stupid you, a child, | 作为一个孩子 你是蠢得多么惊天动地 |
| [12:56] | asking me “Do I want to hang out sometime” is? | 才会问我 要不要抽空一起玩玩了吗 |
| [13:00] | My dad designs video games. | 我爸是游戏设计师 |
| [13:02] | We get all the new ones early. | 我们总是可以提前玩到所有新游戏 |
| [13:04] | Come over around 8:00. | 8点左右到我家来 |
| [13:14] | What the crap?! | 你们搞毛啊 |
| [13:16] | You know I get nervous at these shits. | 你知道我遇到这种事容易紧张的 |
| [13:18] | You are paying a guy to take your photograph, | 你花钱请人帮你拍照 |
| [13:19] | and you trash his studio? | 但最后却砸了他的工作室吗 |
| [13:21] | You weren’t here! Unprofessional as shit! | 你当时又不在场 职业操守都丢屎坑去了 |
| [13:24] | A publicist who can’t show up at publicity events? | 一个公关人员 竟然不出现在公共活动现场 |
| [13:27] | Don’t even know what I’m paying you for, Gretchen! | 我花钱雇你何用 格雷琴 |
| [13:29] | The label pays me. | 是唱片公司花钱请我的 |
| [13:30] | You know it all gets charged against my end, bitch! | 你知道那钱最终还是从我身上出的 贱人 |
| [13:32] | Label is villains. | 唱片公司就是吸血鬼 |
| [13:34] | From now on, I’m just gonna drop free mix tapes | 所以从现在开始 我不会再推出免费混音带 |
| [13:37] | and Vines of my guinea pigs! | 以及我家豚鼠的相关视频 |
| [13:39] | You need to apologize to Nestor so he doesn’t sue you. | 你得去向奈斯特道歉 那样他才不会告你 |
| [13:42] | Let him. | 让他告吧 |
| [13:43] | I’ll lawyer the hell up! | 我会请一堆律师的 |
| [13:45] | Nestor is a great photographer. We need him. | 奈斯特是个伟大的摄影师 我们需要他 |
| [13:48] | Anyone’s a good photographer now. | 现在人人都是伟大的摄影师 |
| [13:51] | Shitstain take amazing Instagrams. | 施斯坦贴在Instagram上的照片超级赞 |
| [13:55] | No filter. | 不用滤镜 |
| [13:56] | Yeah! @Shitstain! | 没错 @”屎”斯坦 |
| [13:58] | Anyway, bitch, this is your fault. | 总之 贱人 这都是你的错 |
| [14:00] | You need to apologize to him | 你才应该向他道歉 |
| [14:02] | for being such a no-showing-up bitch! | 就因为你迟迟不出现 |
| [14:10] | We’re sorry we broke your shit. | 我们很抱歉打烂了你的烂设备 |
| [14:13] | Okay, good. | 好吧 很好 |
| [14:14] | Nestor, we’ll talk about restitution? | 奈斯特 我们来谈谈赔偿事宜吧 |
| [14:23] | You Okay? | 你还好吧 |
| [14:24] | Yeah. Hell were you doing anyway? | 是的 你之前在搞什么啊 |
| [14:26] | Nothing worth talking about. | 没什么好说的 |
| [14:28] | You still need to make it up to us. | 你还是得补偿我们 |
| [14:29] | I’ll fire your ass, and it won’t mean shit to me. | 我可以炒了你 那对我来说屁事都不算 |
| [14:32] | Yes, it will. | 不 不可能 |
| [14:33] | I’m serious. You owe me, Gretch. | 我说真的 你欠我的 格雷琴 |
| [14:37] | Okay, Sam. What do you need? | 好吧 山姆 你想要什么 |
| [14:39] | You need to kiss my quarter-Chickasaw ass! | 你得好好讨我这拥有1/4契卡索血统的人欢心了 |
| [14:43] | Then you need to get me some cocaine. | 然后你得给我去弄些可卡因来 |
| [14:45] | I’m too famous to get it myself. | 我现在是个名人 不能自己去搞 |
| [14:47] | I’m not playing. You on probation now. | 我不是在开玩笑 你现在处于察看期 |
| [14:53] | Wait now. Hold on! | 等等 等一下 |
| [14:54] | High five. Put her there. | 击个掌 到那儿去 |
| [14:56] | She’s hot. | 她真火辣 |
| [15:06] | I got your car towed back here. | 我把你的车拖回来了 |
| [15:08] | And look who I found getting out of a cab. | 瞧我发现谁从出租车上下来了 |
| [15:16] | Don’t worry. I forgot my purse. | 别多心 我只是忘了拿包而已 |
| [15:18] | Not on purpose or anything. | 不是刻意登门造访的 |
| [15:22] | I’m gonna leave you two alone. | 我就不打扰你们了 |
| [15:25] | He’s sweet. It’s nice that you let him live here. | 他人挺好的 你肯收留他真是心善 |
| [15:28] | You know your purse had food in it. | 你知道你的包里有食物吧 |
| [15:31] | It was covered in ants. | 爬满了蚂蚁 |
| [15:33] | Who keeps food in their purse? | 谁会把食物放在包里啊 |
| [15:34] | What’s your problem? | 你是怎么回事啊 |
| [15:36] | Well, I’ve had a really shitty day. | 我今天过得真的相当不爽 |
| [15:37] | And then I come home to find that | 然后我回到家发现 |
| [15:39] | my bedroom is a goddamn ’50s sci-fi movie. | 我的卧室就像50年代的科幻电影场景一样 |
| [15:42] | And why would you stay over, | 你为什么要留下来过夜 |
| [15:45] | That’s amateur hour. | 那真是不专业的约炮行为 |
| [15:48] | Here I was worried you were gonna get the wrong idea about last night. | 我本来还担心你会把昨晚的事当真呢 |
| [15:50] | So thank you for saving me the speech. | 谢谢你让我免费口舌了 |
| [15:52] | You were gonna make a speech? | 你本来打算对我大费唇舌一番吗 |
| [15:54] | Okay, forget it. | 行了 没什么好说的了 |
| [15:55] | Yeah, no kidding. Save your breath. | 是啊 开什么玩笑 省省吧 |
| [15:58] | I don’t know what planet that you’re from, | 我不知道你来自哪颗星球 |
| [16:00] | but on my planet, | 但是在我们地球上 |
| [16:01] | someone like you does not just get… this! | 像你这样的人 不配享受我这曼妙的身体 |
| [16:04] | Congratulations, | 恭喜了 |
| [16:05] | you bagged a weakened gazelle. That’s right. | 你捕获了一个心碎软弱的猎物 没错 |
| [16:07] | I’m still stupid-hooked on someone else | 我还傻傻地爱恋着另一个男人 |
| [16:09] | who is eons further than you in the evolutionary scale in all categories | 他在各个方面都比你进化得高级千万倍 |
| [16:12] | except maybe unearned ego and back fat. | 可能就是没你自负 背部肥肉也没你多 |
| [16:14] | What? You so value honesty, | 怎么 你不是很看重实话实说吗 |
| [16:17] | you had to chew a bride out on her wedding day in the name of it? | 你居然以此为名 在一个女人结婚当天去打击她 |
| [16:19] | why don’t you face this giant hunk of truth, Jimmy? | 你何不面对这天大的事实 吉米 |
| [16:22] | There is a fat asterisk next to my name | 当我遇到淫荡的你时 |
| [16:24] | on your skank-ridden little bone list and it reads, | 我的名字旁边就像有一排字在呐喊着 |
| [16:27] | “She probably would’ve gone home with anyone that night!” | “她那晚很可能会跟任何男人回家的” |
| [16:30] | So thank you! Thank you for my wake-up call, | 谢谢你了 谢谢你让我警醒 |
| [16:34] | Jimmy Stupid-Three-Names. | 吉米-愚蠢的-三名字 |
| [16:36] | You are officially my bottom. | 你是我见过的最烂的人 |
| [16:49] | Hey, you. | 你好啊 |
| [16:50] | Kiddo. What a surprise. | 妹子 真是个惊喜啊 |
| [16:53] | I was just in the neighborhood. | 我正好在附近转悠 |
| [16:55] | Uh, I have an early call time. | 我明天很早要去赶个通告 |
| [16:57] | But… Yeah, come in. | 不过 没事 进来吧 |
| [17:01] | Last time you said you were coming over, you never showed. | 你上次说要过来 最终却没出现 |
| [17:04] | I thought you’d grown sick of me. | 我以为你厌烦我了呢 |
| [17:05] | Nah, you’re all right. | 没啦 你挺好的 |
| [17:08] | You’re so beautiful, Gretchen. | 你好美 格雷琴 |
| [17:35] | You busy, Jimmy? | 你忙吗 吉米 |
| [17:36] | Yep. | 是滴 |
| [17:37] | Well, could you, like, pause it for a second? | 你能不能 稍微暂停一下 |
| [17:39] | No. | 不能 |
| [17:46] | What’s wrong with you? | 你是怎么回事啊 |
| [17:47] | Give me the controller. | 把手柄给我 |
| [17:48] | I’ve watched you for two years now | 我眼看着你这样已经两年了 |
| [17:50] | get girls to come home with you, | 不断地带女孩子回家 |
| [17:51] | and they’re always gone in in the morning. | 第二天早上她们都不见了 |
| [17:53] | Sorry, I can help it if she refused to leave? | 抱歉 她非要赖着不走 我有什么办法 |
| [17:58] | – Give me my controller. – No. | -把我的手柄给我 -不给 |
| [17:59] | Fine. | 行吧 |
| [18:03] | I’m sorry I have to do this. | 很抱歉我不得不出此下策了 |
| [18:06] | Now, I don’t mind you being jerky with me | 我不介意你对我混蛋 |
| [18:07] | because I know you care. | 因为我知道你内心深处是很在乎的 |
| [18:09] | What the… No, I don’t. | 搞毛啊 我才不在乎呢 |
| [18:10] | Yes, you do | 不 你在乎的 |
| [18:10] | You’re just an animal living in my house. | 你不过是住在我家的一只动物 |
| [18:13] | But Gretchen stayed, okay? | 但是格雷琴留下来过夜了 明白吗 |
| [18:14] | You say she forced you, | 你说那是她强迫你答应的 |
| [18:16] | but we both know there’s not a person on this planet | 但我们都知道 这个世界上没有任何人 |
| [18:18] | that’s ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything. | 在强迫你做了任何事后 还能有好果子吃 |
| [18:21] | She stayed, man. And that means something, | 她留下来了 老兄 那是大有深意的 |
| [18:25] | whether you want to admit it or not. | 不管你愿不愿意承认都一样 |
| [18:28] | I’m gonna let you go now. | 我现在会慢慢放开你 |
| [18:32] | Why would I even listen to you, eh? | 我为什么要听你的 |
| [18:34] | You’re a mental case. | 你简直有精神病 |
| [18:36] | You’re on, like, a billion medications | 就像是有千百万种药物 |
| [18:37] | that all say “Take for batshit craziness.” | 同时在对你呐喊”专治深度精神病” |
| [18:40] | I was defending our country. | 我只是在维护我们的国家 |
| [18:42] | Oh, please. | 得了吧 |
| [18:43] | You weren’t defending anything | 你没有在维护任何东西 |
| [18:45] | except for the business interests of evil men. | 除了恶棍们的商业利益 |
| [18:47] | Jimmy, our country is the business interests of evil men. | 吉米 我们的整个国家就是恶棍们的商业利益 |
| [18:51] | That may be the most intelligent thing you’ve ever said. | 那可能是你说过的最有才的话了 |
| [18:55] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [18:56] | You’re still a goddamn lunatic. | 但你依然是他妈的疯子 |
| [18:58] | Hey, wait. Come on, man. W-Wait. Where are you doing? | 等等 老兄 你要去哪儿 |
| [19:00] | To a bar, | 去酒吧 |
| [19:01] | where I can drink in peace. | 至少我可以在那里安静地喝酒 |
| [19:02] | Come on, Killian. | 走吧 卡利安 |
| [19:10] | – Alright, call the police. – On me? | -快报警 -抓我吗 |
| [19:11] | Someone’s stolen my car. | 有人把我的车偷走了 |
| [19:12] | No, Gretchen took it, remember? | 不 是格雷琴开走了 记得吗 |
| [19:15] | Gretchen took my… Sorry, Gretchen took my car? | 格雷琴 什么 格雷琴开走了我的车 |
| [19:18] | Yeah. I saw her driving it away earlier. | 是啊 我之前看她开走了 |
| [19:19] | I figured you loaned it to her. | 我以为是你借给她的呢 |
| [19:21] | Come to think of it, | 仔细想想 |
| [19:22] | I did think that was kind of weird. | 我当时确实觉得有点奇怪 |
| [19:23] | She doesn’t have a license! | 她根本就没有驾照 |
| [19:25] | She must’ve stolen your keys from the counter. | 她肯定是从柜台后面把你的钥匙偷走了 |
| [19:28] | You got to admit, that’s kind of a baller move. | 你不得不承认 那真是挺牛逼的 |
| [19:37] | You guys are fun. | 你们好有趣 |
| [19:52] | Yes, Gretchen? | 怎么了 格雷琴 |
| [19:53] | Can we just take a little break? | 我们能稍微中断一下吗 |
| [19:58] | Sure. | 当然了 |
| [20:07] | So…what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? | 话说 你做过的最差劲的事是什么 |
| [20:11] | Gretchen, you know ever since India | 格雷琴 你知道我自从去过印度 |
| [20:13] | I don’t dwell in negativity. | 就不再喜欢讨论负能量的东西了 |
| [20:17] | I set my high school on fire to get out of a math test. | 我为了逃避数学考试 放火烧了我的高中 |
| [20:21] | What? Why are you telling me that? | 什么 你为什么要告诉我这个 |
| [20:25] | That’s horrible. | 那真是太恶劣了 |
| [20:27] | Never mind. Kidding. | 算了 我开玩笑的 |
| [20:38] | Oh, you’re a marvel. | 你的口技真是太赞了 |
| [20:43] | Ooh, that’s terrific. Yeah. | 噢 好爽 好爽 |
| [20:49] | Did you just spit on me? | 你是吐痰在我鸡巴上了吗 |
| [20:51] | No. | 没有 |
| [20:54] | Yes. Sorry. | 是的 抱歉 |
| [20:58] | Oh, Gretch. | 格雷琴 |
| [21:03] | hat’s delicious. | 真是太爽了 |
| [21:06] | Do you still have cocaine? | 你还有可卡因吗 |
| [21:49] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [21:50] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么呢 |
| [21:53] | Nothing. Just… …reading. | 没什么 就是 看看书 |
| [21:57] | Hey, you won’t believe this. Someone stole my car. | 你肯定不相信这事儿 有人偷走了我的车 |
| [22:01] | Oh. God, that’s… awful. | 天啊 那真是太糟糕了 |
| [22:06] | Yeah, I have to file a police report in the morning. | 是啊 我明早得去报警了 |
| [22:08] | I may have borrowed it. | 可能是我借了 |
| [22:10] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [22:14] | Well, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [22:15] | I told you I’m the worst. | 我跟你说过我是一朵奇葩 |
| [22:18] | Actually, no, you said that | 实际上 没有 你说的是 |
| [22:19] | I was the worst and that I was lucky to get you. | 我是一朵奇葩 能得到你是我走大运了 |
| [22:22] | Yeah. About that… | 是啊 关于那个 |
| [22:23] | No, don’t apologize. It was a great speech. | 别 别道歉 你那番话说的很好 |
| [22:26] | It was funny and true and mean. | 很有趣 真实 也很刻薄 |
| [22:31] | My favorite kind. | 恰恰是我最爱的 |
| [22:35] | I set my school on fire to get out of a math test. | 我为了逃避数学考试 放火烧了学校 |
| [22:40] | That’s genius. | 那真是太天才了 |
| [22:42] | Oh, and… I… lied to you before. | 对了 我之前对你撒谎了 |
| [22:47] | I do have a foot thing. | 我确实恋足 |
| [22:51] | – Seriously? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -是啊 |
| [22:53] | In fact, I was just trying to find | 实际上 我之前正打算 |
| [22:55] | the right clip online to, you know… | 在网上找一个合适的同好来… |
| [22:57] | s-so that I could fall asleep. | 那样我才能安心入睡 |
| [23:00] | But… nothing’s quite right. | 但是 目前都没找到满意的 |
| [23:07] | Do you want me to try? | 你想让我试试吗 |
| [23:11] | What? | 什么 |
| [23:12] | Let me think. | 让我想想 |
| [23:14] | Come on, this is stupid. | 别啊 这好愚蠢 |
| [23:15] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
| [23:17] | I have been walking around all day in these new shoes, | 我已经穿着一双新鞋 走了一天路 |
| [23:23] | and they are just so… | 感觉真是… |
| [23:27] | hot and tight. | 又热又紧 |
| [23:30] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
| [23:31] | And my socks are so… sweaty. | 我的袜子 都湿淋淋的 |
| [23:38] | That happens. | 那也是常有的事 |
| [23:39] | I think I might just have to take them off. | 我觉得我可能得脱下鞋袜了 |
| [23:43] | You do that. | 脱吧 |
| [23:45] | you’re, uh… very nice for doing this. | 你 肯为我这样做 真的很好 |
| [23:50] | I am very nice. | 我本来就很好 |
| [23:53] | Jimmy… I’m scared of this shit, you know? | 吉米 我真的很害怕 |
| [23:59] | I don’t like it. | 我不喜欢这样 |
| [24:01] | I don’t believe in it anymore, so… | 我也不相信爱情了 所以… |
| [24:05] | So if we both know that it can’t work, | 所以我们都明白这是不可能成功的 |
| [24:06] | then there’s no harm. Right? | 那我们都不会受到伤害 对吗 |
| [24:12] | Right. | 对 |
| [24:19] | What kind of socks? | 你穿的是什么样的袜子 |
| [24:22] | Knee-high basketball socks. | 齐膝深的篮球袜 |
| [24:24] | – Orange and green stripes. – You’re amazing. | -橙色和绿色相间的条纹 -你好赞 |
| [24:28] | You’re 19 types of trouble but… amazing. | 你虽然是个麻烦精 但真的很赞 |
| [24:32] | Yeah, so are you. 19 types. | 是啊 你也是 麻烦精 |
| [24:38] | Well, it’s late. Did you finish? | 已经很晚了 你打完飞机了吗 |
| [24:40] | I think the moment’s gone, isn’t it? | 我觉得性趣已经过了 不是吗 |
| [24:42] | All right. Have a good night. Call me. | 好吧 晚安 记得给我打电话 |
| [24:44] | I will. | 我会的 |