| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | The key to any successful relationship is communication. | 任何情感关系成功的关键就是沟通 |
| [00:05] | What do you think is keeping the two of you | 你们觉得让你们两个 |
| [00:07] | from being able to fully trust each other? | 无法完全信任对方的原因是什么 |
| [00:12] | Most of the time, things are good. | 大多数时候 情况都很好 |
| [00:15] | But out of the blue, we’ll have a minor disagreement. | 但有时突然间 我们又会出现小分歧 |
| [00:17] | And then we’re fighting for hours. | 然后我们就会争吵好几个小时 |
| [00:18] | Vernon, what do you think about what Becca just said? | 弗南 你对贝卡刚刚所说的有什么想法 |
| [00:22] | Pissed, dude. | 十分生气 老兄 |
| [00:24] | Bummed. It makes me feel like what the shit? | 相当郁闷 让我觉得这是在搞鸡巴毛啊 |
| [00:27] | She talks to me like I’m a child. | 她跟我说话 就像我是个小孩一样 |
| [00:28] | Because you are a child. | 因为你本来就是小孩啊 |
| [00:29] | Oh, really? A child doctor, Becca? | 是吗 小孩能当医生吗 贝卡 |
| [00:32] | A child doctor with a BMW 7 Series | 你见过开宝马7系 |
| [00:34] | and credit score well into the five hundos? | 信用评分超500的小孩子医生吗 |
| [00:36] | He almost got fired | 他差点就被开除了 |
| [00:38] | because during a hip resurfacing, | 因为在一次髋关节表面置换手术中 |
| [00:40] | he took his sunglasses, | 他取出自己的墨镜 |
| [00:41] | put them on the patient’s testicles | 放在了病人的睾丸上 |
| [00:43] | and took a picture of it. | 然后拍了一张照 |
| [00:44] | Humor is a necessity in the operating room. | 幽默是手术室必不可少的元素 |
| [00:48] | Otherwise, | 否则的话 |
| [00:48] | we would collapse under the sheer weight of the human drama. | 我们会被人体的戏剧性搞得彻底崩溃 |
| [00:52] | Guys? Right… | 二位 好了 |
| [00:52] | You fix tennis elbows for rich people! | 你是替富人治疗网球肘发炎的 |
| [00:55] | Do not tell me how to do my calling! | 不用你告诉我怎么做我的工作 |
| [00:56] | Okay, guys, let’s take a breath. | 好了 二位 稍微淡定点 |
| [00:59] | And remember you’re here because you love each other. | 记住你们来到这里是因为你们爱对方 |
| [01:05] | There she is. Is it possible | 瞧这样多好 有没有可能 |
| [01:09] | that the problem | 真正的问题 |
| [01:10] | isn’t between the two of you? | 并不是在你们之间的 |
| [01:12] | But rather in the negative external elements | 而是身边外界的负能量太多 |
| [01:15] | that are influencing your relationship? | 影响到了你们的关系 |
| [01:25] | So, our therapist said | 我们的心理医生说 |
| [01:27] | we need to cut out the toxic elements, | 我们得跟那些毒害因素撇清关系 |
| [01:30] | which means | 也就是说 |
| [01:31] | we just can’t have couples | 我们的生活中不能再有 |
| [01:32] | like you in our life anymore. | 你们这样的奇葩情侣了 |
| [01:35] | We’re not a couple. | 我们才不是小情侣 |
| [01:36] | We are just hanging out. | 我们只是一起玩而已 |
| [01:38] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [01:39] | Breakfast is still on you, right? | 早餐还是你们请的 对吧 |
| [01:41] | Yeah, totally. I gave them my card. | 是啊 当然了 我把卡都给他们了 |
| [01:43] | It’s a Chase Saph, | 是大通银行蓝宝石信用卡 |
| [01:44] | which means when I use it at restaurants, | 也就是说我在餐厅用这张卡时 |
| [01:45] | I double-down on the points… | 可以获得双倍积分 |
| [01:46] | Anyway. | 总之呢 |
| [01:49] | Don’t try to talk this out of it. | 不用试图劝我们回心转意了 |
| [01:50] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:55] | Well, good luck. Both of you. | 祝你们两个好运了 |
| [01:58] | So, I got an XBOX ONE | 我有台XBOX ONE游戏机 |
| [02:00] | if you ever want to dork out on some Madden. | 想玩劲爆橄榄球游戏的话找我 |
| [02:01] | Vernon? | 弗南 |
| [02:01] | I meant dork out online. We can’t even headset-hang? | 我是说玩线上游戏 带耳机都不行吗 |
| [02:07] | What are you doing later? | 你待会儿要去干什么 |
| [02:09] | I am interviewing | 我要为《密友》杂志 |
| [02:10] | “Hollywood It Girl” Megan Thomas for Coterie magazine. | 采访好莱坞名媛梅根·托马斯 |
| [02:13] | Oh, she’s hot. Send me pics. | 她好性感 记得给我发照片 |
| [02:15] | Nudes? | 裸照吗 |
| [02:17] | Yeah, okay, buddy. | 行啊 小哥 |
| [02:19] | If you think you can | 如果你觉得你可以让 |
| [02:20] | get Megan Thomas naked, more power to you. | 梅根·托马斯脱光衣服的话 尽管上吧 |
| [02:22] | Well, I was kidding. | 我开玩笑的而已 |
| [02:24] | But as you said, “We’re not a couple,” | 但正如你刚刚所说 我们并不是情侣 |
| [02:27] | So legally, I’m free to try, right? | 所以我有尝试的自由 |
| [02:30] | Did it bother you when I said that? | 我那样说惹你不爽了吗 |
| [02:32] | No, no. | 没 没有 |
| [02:32] | It’s important to set clear rules. | 设定清楚的规矩是很重要的 |
| [02:35] | This is on the curly ginger, yeah? | 早餐钱算在那个棕黄色卷毛头上 对吧 |
| [02:37] | All right, in that case, we’ll take some things to go. | 那样的话 我要点些东西打包带走 |
| [02:40] | Well, one of everything from the left side. | 左边所有食物每样来一份吧 |
| [02:42] | Oh, and four of those souvenir T-shirts. | 再来4件那种纪念T恤 |
| [02:44] | Ooh, throw in a large child’s. | 再加一件大号儿童尺码的 |
| [02:47] | Killian. | 卡利安 |
| [02:48] | Who? | 谁啊 |
| [03:11] | Okay, so, um… | 听着 那个… |
| [03:13] | how does one prepare for a role | 要如何为这样一个角色做准备啊 |
| [03:14] | in which you play a… | 毕竟你要演的是… |
| [03:17] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:18] | A tsunami widow? | 海啸造成的寡妇 |
| [03:20] | Shut up. | 别瞎说 |
| [03:21] | Um, all right, this is the official quote. | 好吧 接下来这段是给你引用的 |
| [03:24] | It was a singular pleasure | 能够将如此充满勇气的一个角色 |
| [03:26] | to be able to bring a story of such courage to life. | 展现在观众面前 真是极大的快乐 |
| [03:30] | Plus, I did, like, six weeks of Haleo and CrossFit twice a day. | 并且 我连续6周每天做两次健身操 |
| [03:35] | Feel my calf, dude. | 感受一下我的小腿吧 小哥 |
| [03:44] | That does indeed feel like the calf of a grieving widow. | 感觉确实很像一个悲伤寡妇的小腿呢 |
| [03:53] | You’re a foot dude. | 你是个恋足癖啊 |
| [03:55] | No. | 不是 |
| [03:57] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [03:58] | You don’t have to let go. | 你不用放手的 |
| [04:02] | Does your girlfriend have nice feet? | 你女朋友的脚漂亮吗 |
| [04:04] | Aw, she’s not my girlfriend. | 她可不是我女朋友 |
| [04:05] | In fact, earlier today, | 实际上 今天早些时候 |
| [04:06] | she said it straight out, “We are not a couple. | 她直接说了 我们不是一对小情侣 |
| [04:09] | Yeah, that’s just something that girls say | 是啊 女孩子就喜欢说这种话 |
| [04:10] | ’cause they feel like they have to. | 因为她们觉得像是非说不可一样 |
| [04:11] | No, she’s not like that at all. | 不 她才不是那种傲娇女呢 |
| [04:13] | She’s actually challenged me to try and get a… | 她竟然激我不敢… |
| [04:15] | a nude photo of you. | 搞到一张你的裸照 |
| [04:17] | I mean, of course I told her | 当然了 我对她说了 |
| [04:19] | that would be completely unprofessional. | 那实在太违背职业道德了 |
| [04:24] | We should get another round. | 我们再喝一圈吧 |
| [04:35] | Perfect timing. I have great news. | 起来得正好 我有个好消息 |
| [04:37] | What– you found your own place? | 怎么 你要搬出去自己住了吗 |
| [04:39] | My therapist said | 我的心理医生说 |
| [04:40] | I should be alone as little as possible | 我应该尽量不要一个人独处 |
| [04:42] | on account of how I’ve been | 因为我有时候半夜醒来 |
| [04:43] | waking up holding a knife. | 手里会握着把刀 |
| [04:45] | Wait, what?! | 等等 什么 |
| [04:46] | Ah, it’s not important. | 那不重要啦 |
| [04:47] | Anyway, the news was | 总之呢 好消息就是 |
| [04:49] | I made breakfast nachos. | 我做了早餐玉米片 |
| [04:51] | Go back to the knife thing. | 继续说刀的事 |
| [04:52] | Not just breakfast nachos, | 不只是普通早餐玉米片哦 |
| [04:54] | breakfast nachos on a Jimmy and Gretchen | 而是吉米和格雷琴特制早餐玉米片 |
| [04:56] | with the peanuts on top | 上面是花生 |
| [04:57] | because I know Gretch likes the crunch. | 因为我知道格雷琴有多喜欢蹦脆的东西 |
| [05:01] | I got to go, bud. | 我得走了 小哥 |
| [05:02] | I’ll, uh, I’ll walk you out. | 我 我送你出去吧 |
| [05:10] | Me gusta. | 我喜欢 |
| [05:15] | I can’t believe Jimmy sent you naked photos of a celeb. | 我简直不敢相信吉米发了名媛的裸照给你 |
| [05:19] | I kind of dared him to. | 我激他不敢的 |
| [05:21] | I didn’t think he’d actually be to hit that. | 我没想到他真的有胆去做 |
| [05:23] | You have to break up with him– big. | 你必须跟他分手 闹大一点 |
| [05:25] | What if we spray-painted | 不如我们在他的车库门上 |
| [05:28] | “Pedophile” On his garage door? | 喷”恋童癖”字样吧 |
| [05:30] | I did that when my neighbors | 我当年就这么做过 |
| [05:31] | left their Christmas lights up too long. | 因为我的邻居把圣诞灯亮太久不关 |
| [05:33] | I can’t exactly be pissed off. I’m not his girlfriend. | 我也没理由生气啊 我又不是他女友 |
| [05:36] | You at least have to sleep with someone else, too, | 那你至少也得找个人睡一次 |
| [05:37] | or you’ll resent him forever. | 否则你会永远怨恨他的 |
| [05:39] | That’s feminism, Gretch. | 那就是女权主义 格雷琴 |
| [05:41] | That’s what Susan B. Anthony died for. | 苏珊·安东尼就是为此而死的 |
| [05:43] | Do you even know who Susan B. Anthony is? | 你知道苏珊·安东尼是谁吗 |
| [05:46] | She made an airplane disappear. | 她让一架飞机消失于无形 |
| [05:47] | Nope. What? | 不对 什么 |
| [05:48] | That’s Amelia Earhart. | 那是阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特 |
| [05:49] | Whatever, history. | 管他呢 乱糟糟的历史 |
| [05:51] | You happened already. Let it go. | 已经发生了 就随风而去吧 |
| [05:53] | I’m not gonna have sex with some stranger. | 我才不要去找陌生人约炮呢 |
| [05:55] | What about that barista with the giant hog you dated? | 你约会过的那个巨根咖啡师呢 |
| [05:58] | Venti? | 凡迪吗[超大号] |
| [05:59] | The size barely made up for the fact that his moustache | 再大也不能弥补他的胡子和鬓角 |
| [06:01] | was connected to his sideburns. | 都连在一起的这个令人嫌弃的事实 |
| [06:03] | It was like getting banged by John Quincy Adams. | 就像是被约翰·亚当斯干一样 |
| [06:05] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [06:06] | America’s first black astronaut. | 美国的第一个黑人宇航员 |
| [06:09] | I’m so glad you don’t have a job. | 你没有工作真是太好了 |
| [06:11] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [06:18] | Gretchen? Oh, my God. Long time. | 格雷琴 天啊 好久不见了 |
| [06:21] | I know. You’re still working here. | 我也觉得 你还在这儿工作呢 |
| [06:25] | How is your band? | 你的乐队搞的怎么样了 |
| [06:28] | Our drummer was scuba diving in Cancun | 我们的鼓手之前去了坎昆玩水肺潜水 |
| [06:30] | and somehow went deaf. So if you know any drummers… | 不知怎么就聋了 如果你认识鼓手的话 |
| [06:33] | I will keep my ear out. | 我会替你留心的 |
| [06:38] | Do you still have your Van? | 你的小货车还在吗 |
| [06:40] | Meet me there in 5. | 5分钟后车上见吧 |
| [06:41] | Oh, I wish I could. But I’m a manager now | 我也希望我能去 但我现在是经理了 |
| [06:44] | and if I abandon my post, | 如果我擅离职守的话 |
| [06:46] | my boss will fire me. | 我老板会开除我的 |
| [07:17] | Congrats on the photos. | 恭喜你拍到那些照片啊 |
| [07:19] | Megan Thomas– | 梅根·托马斯 |
| [07:20] | bringing back the bush. | 让”黑森林”重回时尚前沿 |
| [07:22] | It was for a grieving widow role. | 那是为扮演一个悲伤寡妇的角色而留的 |
| [07:24] | You’re not mad, are you? | 你不生气吧 |
| [07:26] | No. Like you said, | 不气 正如你所说 |
| [07:28] | it was totally leagl for you to do that. | 你完全有自由那么做 |
| [07:31] | Because we’re not a couple. | 因为我们不是一对情侣 |
| [07:32] | Yeah. We’re just two chill people, | 是啊 我们就是两个酷酷的人 |
| [07:35] | being totally cool about stuff. | 对什么事都抱着酷酷的态度 |
| [07:39] | You can have sex with celebs, | 你可以跟名人做爱 |
| [07:42] | I can bang an ex… which I did… | 我也可以跟前任上床 也已经上了 |
| [07:45] | Which is great. Because now we’re even. | 那感觉好爽 因为现在我们扯平了 |
| [07:48] | Sorry, you did what? | 不好意思 你做了什么 |
| [07:51] | I ran into that barista from Silver Lake Coffee. | 我遇到了银湖咖啡厅的那个咖啡师 |
| [07:54] | Who, Grande? | 谁 “大鸟”吗 |
| [07:55] | Yes, that was his nickname. | 是啊 那是他的外号 |
| [07:57] | You’re not mad, are you? | 你不生气吧 |
| [07:59] | Of course not. | 当然不会了 |
| [08:00] | I’m just confused, | 我只是有点困惑 |
| [08:02] | because you just used the word “Even.” | 因为你刚刚说”扯平了” |
| [08:05] | Because, technically, | 因为 严格来说 |
| [08:07] | I slept with a sexy, famous celebrity i’d just met, | 我是跟一个刚认识的性感名人上床了 |
| [08:10] | while you just re-banged a barista. | 而你只是跟老相好又操上了 |
| [08:12] | So that doesn’t really count as a full person, does it? | 所以他不能算一个人的名额 对吧 |
| [08:14] | He’s, like, half a person. At best. | 他 顶多算是半个人 |
| [08:17] | Didn’t feel like half a person. | 我不觉得像是半个人啊 |
| [08:20] | And I’ve just remembered his nickname: Venti. | 我突然想起了他的外号 “超大鸟” |
| [08:22] | I didn’t want to rub it in. | 我不想故意打击你的 |
| [08:23] | Nothing to rub in. In no world does Hollywood | 我没受打击 你的咖啡师怎么能 |
| [08:26] | IT girl Megan Thomas equal your chai wallah. | 跟我的好莱坞名媛梅根·托马斯相提并论呢 |
| [08:29] | But hey, by all means, | 不过不管怎样 |
| [08:31] | let’s call it “Even.” | 我们姑且称之为”扯平了”吧 |
| [08:35] | Where are you going. | 你去哪里 |
| [08:36] | I have stuff to do! | 我有事要做 |
| [08:49] | Welcome back to The Ron Stitches Show. | 欢迎回到朗·斯蒂奇脱口秀 |
| [08:51] | I’m Ron and we’ve got | 我是朗 刚刚我们收到 |
| [08:53] | Edgar in Los Angeles, | 洛杉矶的埃德加的来电 |
| [08:54] | who says his roommate’s sex life is causing him problems. | 他说他室友的性生活为他增添了很多烦恼 |
| [08:57] | What’s the deal, Edgar? | 是怎么回事 埃德加 |
| [08:58] | Well, Ron, I’m kind of in a moral dilemma. | 朗 我陷入道德困境了 |
| [09:02] | A moral dilemma or an oral dilemma? | 是道德困境还是口交困境呢 |
| [09:05] | Ooh, now, the thing is | 问题是 |
| [09:06] | I really like my roommate’s girlfriend. | 我真的很喜欢我室友的女朋友 |
| [09:08] | And you plan on hittin’ that, right? | 你打算去挖墙脚 是吧 |
| [09:11] | No. | 不是 |
| [09:12] | No, no, no, no. I-I mean as a person. | 不不不 我是说 作为一个人 |
| [09:15] | I really want them to work out. | 我真的很希望他们能成 |
| [09:18] | The thing is… he slept with someone else, | 问题是 他现在又跟别人上床了 |
| [09:20] | and… I don’t know if I should tell her or… | 并且 我不知道我是否该告诉她还是 |
| [09:24] | Whoa, whoa, what? | 等等 等等 什么情况 |
| [09:25] | Rat out your bro, bro? Is this a prank call? | 出卖自己的兄弟 你这是恶作剧电话吗 |
| [09:27] | Cheryl, you’re screening these calls, right? | 雪丽 你有在筛选这些来电吗 |
| [09:29] | Or are you just sitting over there | 还是说你就喜欢坐在那里 |
| [09:30] | playing with them big old hooters of yours? | 玩你那又大又下垂的胸部 |
| [09:34] | It’s just that ever since I came back from Iraq, | 因为自从我从伊拉克回来后 |
| [09:36] | I haven’t really met many people I can talk to… | 就没遇到几个能说得上话的人 |
| [09:39] | and she listens. | 而她会认真倾听 |
| [09:40] | First off, I’d like to say | 首先 我想说 |
| [09:41] | thank you for you service, soldier. | 感谢你为国奉献 大兵 |
| [09:43] | If I didn’t have this God-dang bee allergy, | 如果我不是对蜜蜂过敏的话 |
| [09:45] | I would have been right over there with you. | 我一定会过去陪你抗战的 |
| [09:46] | So talk to me. You ever shoot that .50 cal? | 跟我说说 你用过点50口径机关枪吗 |
| [09:49] | I shot one in Vegas one time. It was hell, man. | 我在维加斯玩过一次 简直爽爆了 |
| [09:51] | I got separated from my squad | 我和我的朋友们在疯女孩酒吧 |
| [09:53] | somewhere between Crazy Girls | 和薄荷犀牛脱衣舞俱乐部 |
| [09:55] | and the Spearmint Rhino and… | 之间的地方走散了 |
| [09:59] | – Actually, he’s right. – Linds? | -实际上 他说得对 -小琳 |
| [10:01] | Think about it. | 你好好想想啊 |
| [10:01] | Megan Thomas is a major score. | 梅根·托马斯太正了 |
| [10:04] | She’s like totally Hollywood’s… | 她可是好莱坞的… |
| [10:05] | Don’t say “Hollywood’s It Girl.” | 不要说”好莱坞名媛” |
| [10:06] | She is. | 她就是啊 |
| [10:07] | And Venti is old news. | 而凡迪是个旧人了 |
| [10:09] | He’s previously taken dick. | 他就是根以前插过的旧屌 |
| [10:11] | PTD. If you will. | 旧插屌 可以这么说 |
| [10:13] | PTD. | 旧插屌 |
| [10:15] | Okay, so what if there’s a guy that I haven’t… | 好吧 那如果有个男人 是之前… |
| [10:19] | taken, but I did maybe… | 没插过我的 但也许我… |
| [10:22] | Slob on it? | 舔过吗 |
| [10:23] | Still wouldn’t count. You’ve got to rule out | 那也不能算 你必须排除 |
| [10:25] | previously taken or sucked dicks | 之前插过你或你口交过的屌 |
| [10:28] | – PTSD. -That’s what Edgar has. | -旧插口屌 -埃德加就是患有这种病 |
| [10:28] | PTSD本意为创伤后应激障碍 在经历战争的士兵中很常见 | |
| [10:34] | PTSDs are half a point. | 用”旧插口屌”只能算半分 |
| [10:36] | Kind of like how a competitive bird watcher | 就好像一个竞争性的观鸟者 |
| [10:38] | only gets points when he sees a new species he hasn’t. | 只有在发现新的鸟类品种时才能得满分 |
| [10:40] | Paul does competitive bird watching? | 保罗是个喜欢观鸟的人吗 |
| [10:42] | I don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想谈论这事 |
| [10:43] | Whatever. The whole thing’s stupid. | 管他呢 整件事都很愚蠢 |
| [10:45] | So finish it! | 那就赶快完成吧 |
| [10:46] | The sooner you put someone behind you, | 你越快找到个人在背后干你 |
| [10:49] | the sooner you can put this behind you. | 就能越快将这件烦心事抛之脑后 |
| [10:56] | Denver. I’ve never met anyone | 丹弗 我以前从没遇到过 |
| [10:58] | who makes their own furniture before. | 自己会做家具的人呢 |
| [10:59] | That canopy bed sounds amazing. | 架子床听起来好棒 |
| [11:02] | I would love to check it out sometime. | 我愿意抽空亲自过去看看 |
| [11:05] | Well, finish up that drink and I’ll show it to you. | 把那杯酒喝了 我就给你看 |
| [11:11] | You see this headboard? | 你看到这个床头板了吗 |
| [11:13] | It’s all salvaged wood! | 都是用沉木做的 |
| [11:15] | Took me three months | 我花了三个月 |
| [11:16] | to refurbish the hull of a Nova Scotian haddock trawler. | 打磨了新斯科舍省一艘渔船的船体 |
| [11:21] | I mean, as a black actor, | 我是说 作为一名黑人演员 |
| [11:23] | you’re talking drug dealer, athlete, judge… | 你会经常扮演毒贩子 运动员 法官 |
| [11:27] | or sometimes God, if you’re old. | 如果你年纪够大 有时可能演上帝 |
| [11:29] | Do you know how many McDonald’s commercials | 你知道我作为黑人演员 |
| [11:30] | I’ve been in as a black actor? | 参演了多少麦当劳的广告吗 |
| [11:32] | I can hear that damn jingle in my sleep. | 我睡着了都能听到那该死的广告歌 |
| [11:34] | I’m not lovin’ it. They love it. | 我不爱它 是他们爱 |
| [11:37] | Don’t you think, now that | 你不知道《为奴十二年》 |
| [11:38] | 12 Years a Slave has won Best Picture | 赢得了奥斯卡最佳影片奖 |
| [11:40] | Man, y’all white people love slavery movies | 天啊 你们这些白人对黑奴电影的喜爱 |
| [11:42] | even more than you loved actual slavery. | 甚至超过对奴隶制的喜爱 |
| [11:44] | As a black actor… | 作为一名黑人演员 |
| [11:46] | So there I am, at the after-party for Danny brown’s latest album, | 我当时去参加了丹尼·布朗新专发布会后的派对 |
| [11:50] | and I’m in this house in the hills, | 我跑到比弗利山上的一栋屋子里 |
| [11:51] | no idea where I am, | 完全不知道自己在哪儿 |
| [11:52] | and I look at a picture on the wall | 我看着墙上的一张照片 |
| [11:54] | and I realize it’s Diana Ross. | 发现那竟然是戴安娜·罗斯 |
| [11:57] | I am at Diana Ross’s house. | 我竟然是在戴安娜·罗斯家 |
| [12:00] | So I go to the bathroom, I grab a hairbrush… | 所以我走进洗手间 拿了一把发梳 |
| [12:05] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [12:11] | I’d really like to try to get into writing movies and teleplays, | 我真的很想涉足电影和电视编剧行业 |
| [12:14] | but honestly, I’d be happy anywhere in | 但老实说 我会很满足于任何… |
| [12:17] | I’d call it “The biz,” | 我倒是想说”娱乐圈” |
| [12:18] | But I just moved out here from Ohio in the family mini-van… | 但我刚开着家庭迷你小货车从俄亥俄州搬过来 |
| [12:22] | But… | 但是 |
| [12:24] | And I’m out. | 我要出去了 |
| [12:25] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [12:27] | Why don’t you go get us two more? | 不如你再去帮我们拿两杯酒吧 |
| [12:33] | It’s so awful we have to feel any of this. | 我们有七情六欲真是太烦人了 |
| [12:36] | Lust, love… Don’t we have bigger problems to worry about? | 欲望 爱 我们就没更重要的大事要操心吗 |
| [12:41] | I am in a bar, trolling for dudes, | 我身在酒吧里 想钓个男人 |
| [12:43] | just to prove something– to who? | 就为了证明什么 向谁证明啊 |
| [12:45] | To Darwin? To myself? | 向达尔文吗 向我自己吗 |
| [12:47] | It is embarrassing and beneath us is what I am saying. You know? | 要我说 那很丢人 也很掉价 你明白吗 |
| [12:52] | Not really. | 也不算吧 |
| [12:54] | But I will say, | 但我觉得 |
| [12:55] | if this Darwin clown is not treating you properly… | 如果那个叫达尔文的小丑没有好好对你 |
| [12:59] | he’s a goddamn fool. | 那他真是个大傻逼 |
| [13:02] | I mean, sure, he sleeps in flannel pajamas with socks, | 他会穿着法兰绒睡衣和袜子睡觉 |
| [13:06] | and yes, he spends six weeks of every summer | 没错 他每年夏天都会花6周时间去参加 |
| [13:09] | at a magic camp for adults | 一个面向成年人的魔术夏令营 |
| [13:11] | and… Okay, he has an allergy to soap | 对了 他还对肥皂过敏 |
| [13:13] | and we have to buy him that special oil for dogs… | 只能给他买那种狗狗使用的沐浴油 |
| [13:16] | but he’s my husband. | 但他是我丈夫啊 |
| [13:18] | And he doesn’t deserve for anybody to be mean to him. Ever. | 任何人都不能对他刻薄 永远不能 |
| [13:25] | How could anyone not like Paul? | 怎么会有人不喜欢保罗啊 |
| [13:26] | I know! Paul. | 就是啊 保罗 |
| [13:39] | You like that? | 你喜欢这样吗 |
| [13:42] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [13:49] | Wait. Move me, like, six inches right. | 等等 把我往右移 大约6英寸 |
| [13:51] | My face is way too near that booger. | 我的脸离这滩鼻涕太近了 |
| [14:19] | Hello, Padre. | 你好 牧师 |
| [14:20] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [14:25] | I have a dilemma. I… I know this secret, | 我陷入了进退两难的境地 我知道一个秘密 |
| [14:28] | and I can’t decide if I should tell. | 我不知道我是否该说出来 |
| [14:31] | If I do, a lot of people could get hurt. | 如果我说出来的话 很多人都可能会受伤的 |
| [14:34] | Son, your situation reminds me of a sermon I just delivered. | 孩子 你的情况让我想起了我刚刚完成的布道 |
| [14:37] | I related Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians to | 我把《新约全书》中保罗著的哥林多书 |
| [14:39] | individual moral responsibility. | 和个人的道德义务联系起来 |
| [14:41] | What I said was… | 我当时说的是… |
| [14:46] | Wait, how did I put it? I said it so good. | 等等 我怎么说的来着 我说那很棒 |
| [14:49] | Terry was there. Terry! | 泰利当时也在场 泰利 |
| [14:51] | Damn it. Has anybody seen Terry? | 该死的 有谁见到泰利了吗 |
| [14:55] | No? | 没有吗 |
| [14:57] | Anyway, the gist of it was listen to your own conscience, | 总之 主旨就是让你聆听自己的良心 |
| [14:59] | but at the same time, don’t do anything that could cause harm. | 但与此同时 别做任何可能引起伤害的事 |
| [15:02] | It’s just that if I sit on this, it could get even worse. | 如果我隐瞒不说 情况可能会更糟 |
| [15:07] | What is the nature of this information? | 你这条信息是什么性质的 |
| [15:10] | I’ve said too much already. Thanks. | 我已经透露太多了 谢谢 |
| [15:12] | I know what I have to do. | 我知道我该怎么做了 |
| [15:26] | Yeah, it’s me. I think we got another Snowden on our hands. | 对 是我 我好像又发现了一个斯诺登 |
| [15:35] | – Hello – Can’t talk long. | -喂 -没办法久聊 |
| [15:36] | I just wanted to tell you we’re even. | 我只是想告诉你我们扯平了 |
| [15:38] | – Venti again? – Nope. | -又是凡迪吗 -不是 |
| [15:39] | We’ve both slept with someone new, which makes us even. | 我们都找了个新人睡了 所以我们扯平了 |
| [15:42] | So, yay us. | 好棒耶 我们 |
| [15:43] | Wait, that’s not even. | 等等 那才不叫扯平 |
| [15:45] | My person was a stranger, which was one point, | 我找了个陌生人 算是1分 |
| [15:47] | your person was Venti, which was worth a half, | 你找了凡迪 算是0.5分 |
| [15:50] | so I was one-half up on you. | 所以我之前是领先你0.5分 |
| [15:52] | But now with this new person, | 但现在你又找了个新人 |
| [15:53] | you’re one-half up on me. | 你比我领先0.5分了 |
| [15:55] | Oh, my God, Jimmy. Who cares? | 天啊 吉米 谁在乎啊 |
| [15:57] | Can’t we just call it a draw? | 我们就不能算平局了吗 |
| [15:59] | Well, that’s easy for you to say, you’re one-half up. | 你说的倒是轻松 因为你领先了0.5分 |
| [16:02] | Now I have to sleep with an ex. | 现在我也得去找前任打一炮了 |
| [16:05] | Yeah, okay. Good luck with that. Anyway, I gotta go. | 好吧 祝你好运 我得挂了 |
| [16:08] | Some work thing. Bye. | 有工作要处理 再见 |
| [16:11] | Um, do you have a work thing? | 你有工作要处理吗 |
| [16:14] | Because I don’t have anything on your calendar. | 我在你的日程安排表上没看到啊 |
| [16:15] | Hurry up. You’re letting all the cold air out. | 快点出去 你把冷空气都放出去了 |
| [16:24] | 我之前好像 在路上看到你了 | |
| [16:54] | Well, I hope you’re here to repay the $300 | 我希望你是来还那天早餐时 |
| [16:57] | you guys somehow spent at breakfast. | 你们吃掉的300美金的 |
| [16:59] | Why does everyone hate me? | 为什么所有人都讨厌我啊 |
| [17:00] | I know it’s weird to ask you– | 我知道问你这个问题很奇怪 |
| [17:02] | you rightfully hate my guts. But… but what’s wrong with me | 你恨透我了 但我到底是有什么毛病啊 |
| [17:05] | that I can’t sustain a single relationship? | 竟然无法维持一段感情关系 |
| [17:09] | I hate emotional Jimmy. | 我好讨厌情绪化的吉米 |
| [17:12] | Come in. | 进来吧 |
| [17:18] | Everyone I care about ends up hating me. | 每个我在乎的人 最后都变得恨我 |
| [17:21] | Why is that? | 为什么呢 |
| [17:22] | Oh, because you’re a narcissist with face-blindness | 因为你是个患有脸盲症的自恋狂 |
| [17:25] | who, without hesitation or consequence, | 你没有良知 会毫不犹豫地 |
| [17:27] | uses people to get what you want. | 利用别人得到你想要的东西 |
| [17:29] | God, you know me so well. | 天啊 你真是太了解我了 |
| [17:33] | Can I have one of those? | 能给我一支烟吗 |
| [17:34] | They’re pretty expensive. | 很贵的好不好 |
| [17:35] | I know. I used to buy them for you all the time. | 我知道的 我以前经常给你买 |
| [17:38] | Shut up and gfive me one. | 闭嘴 赶快给我一支 |
| [17:41] | So, um… where’s Vernon? | 弗南去哪儿了 |
| [17:45] | You just missed him. He left to go do his rotation, | 他刚刚离开 去上班了 |
| [17:48] | or as he calls it, his “Rotaish.” | 或者是他口中说的”轮班” |
| [17:52] | I didn’t know he did night “Rotaishes. | 我不知道他晚上还要”轮班” |
| [17:58] | Oh, my God! Jimmy, what the hell! | 天啊 吉米 搞毛啊 |
| [18:01] | Oops. Sorry. | 糟糕 抱歉 |
| [18:05] | – Should I go? – Yes! | -我该走了吗 -当然了 |
| [18:08] | Obviously. | 显然啊 |
| [18:26] | Oh, I forgot to mention: we’re even. | 我忘了说一句 我们扯平了 |
| [18:27] | It’s one-and-a-half to one-and- a-half. | 现在的比分是1.5：1.5 |
| [18:29] | I banged an Ex. | 我上了一个前任 |
| [18:32] | Who was she? | 是谁啊 |
| [18:33] | She’s this girl… | 她是… |
| [18:35] | Hillary. You don’t know her. | 希拉里 你不认识她 |
| [18:37] | Unmemorable, but… pliant. | 让人记不住 但是很柔顺 |
| [18:41] | Oh, great. | 太好了 |
| [18:42] | So…we’re even. | 现在 我们算是扯平了 |
| [18:46] | Are you mad? | 你生气了吗 |
| [18:47] | No. Why would I be mad? | 没有 我为什么要生气啊 |
| [18:50] | It’s all good, brah. | 一切都很好 小哥 |
| [18:52] | Why are you talking like Guy Fieri? | 你为什么像主持人盖伊·菲耶里那样说话 |
| [18:53] | ‘Cause, Jimmy, you don’t really want to know what’s on my mind. | 吉米 因为你不想知道我到底在想什么 |
| [18:56] | That’s not what this is. | 那不是我们这种关系的重点 |
| [18:58] | We are just two independently existing people | 我们只是两个独立存在的人 |
| [19:00] | who get together to have sex. | 为了做爱而凑到一起 |
| [19:02] | Well, how do I determine what we are? | 为何是我来决定我们之间是什么关系 |
| [19:06] | You’re the one who started this whole thing when you said… | 整件事是由你开始的 那天你说… |
| [19:08] | “Said?” You’re the one who did, Jimmy. | 说 你可是直接去做了 吉米 |
| [19:11] | You did goddamn Hollywood It Girl Megan Thomas. | 你上了该死的好莱坞名媛梅根·托马斯 |
| [19:14] | Only because you said I could! | 那是因为你说了我可以上的啊 |
| [19:16] | And then I sleep with one guy and you freak out! | 然后我就跟一个人上床了 你就抓狂了 |
| [19:18] | It was one-and-a-half guys! | 那可是1.5个男人 |
| [19:21] | So you are jealous. Why don’t you just admit | 所以你的确是吃醋了 你何不直接承认 |
| [19:24] | you can’t handle it if I sleep with someone else? | 你无法接受我跟别的男人上床呢 |
| [19:26] | Fine, if you admit | 行啊 前提是你先承认 |
| [19:28] | that you can’t handle it if I do. | 你无法接受我跟别的女人上床 |
| [19:30] | Fine! | 好吧 |
| [19:31] | Well, then maybe we should be “Exclusive.” | 那也许我们该做”专属炮友” |
| [19:34] | Is that what you want? | 你是想这样吗 |
| [19:35] | That’d be awesome. Let’s do that. | 那真是太棒了 我们就那么干吧 |
| [19:37] | – Great. – Great. | -好极了 -好极了 |
| [19:39] | Guess we’re “Exclusive,” then. | 我想我们是”专属炮友”了 |
| [19:45] | Wait. Are we being sarcastic or are we actually exclusive? | 慢着 我们这是在调侃还是真成专属炮友了 |
| [19:48] | I got a little bit lost in there somewhere. | 我也有点搞不清了 |
| [19:50] | But yeah… I guess we’re…exclusive. | 但是的 我想我们是专属炮友了 |
| [19:55] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:57] | – Cool. – Cool. | -行 -行 |
| [20:05] | Can you believe Becca and Vernon said we were toxic? | 你敢相信贝卡和弗南说我们是毒害吗 |
| [20:08] | Yeah, no kidding. What a joke. | 是啊 瞎说什么 真是个大笑话 |
| [20:54] | 洛杉矶至代顿市 2186英里 | |
| [21:45] | Come in. | 进来吧 |
| [21:46] | I know this isn’t a great time, | 我知道现在时机不对 |
| [21:48] | but there’s something I have to say. | 但有件事我必须要说 |
| [21:50] | Gretchen, this is going to upset you, | 格雷琴 这事肯定会让你很生气的 |
| [21:53] | and Jimmy… you’re going to hate me for ratting, but– | 吉米 你肯定会恨死我的 但是 |
| [21:56] | Edgar, we’re not doing anything! | 埃德加 我们没在办事儿 |
| [22:02] | What’s the awful news, Edgar? | 到底是什么坏消息 埃德加 |
| [22:05] | Uh, just that… I was making you guys nachos | 就是…我之前在给你们做玉米片 |
| [22:09] | “A la Jimmy and Gretchen” | “吉米和格雷琴特供” |
| [22:11] | And it turns out we’re out of peanuts. | 然后发现家里没有花生了 |
| [22:13] | So…? Make them without the peanuts. | 所以呢 就没有花生凑合着吃啊 |
| [22:17] | Okay. I will. | 好吧 我去做 |
| [22:19] | And…you’re welcome. | 另外…不客气 |
| [22:23] | For the nachos? | 因为玉米片吗 |
| [22:24] | Yeah. For the nachos. | 是啊 因为玉米片 |